Evening Falls
by Ava Sinclair
Summary: Elisa was once an everyday Twilight fangirl, but now, inexplicably, she's become a part of Edward and Bella's world. Her struggle to fit into her new life, however, may become a fight to survive that neither she nor Bella may win...
1. Just A Girl

Evening Falls

**Welcome to the first chapter of Evening Falls, my second Twilight fanfic. This story is a sequel to Extraordinary, and while it's not completely necessary to read that one first, I'd strongly recommend it. It's not too long (13 chapters) and it will help you to understand who Elisa is, and why she's part of Bella and Edward's story. This story takes place post Eclipse.**

**This story is rated T for Teen but...well, let's face it. Teen oriented stuff is pretty harsh these days. Don't expect utter gore and graphic sex scenes (I know; I'm disappointed too :p ) but there are some slight sexual references, mild (almost non-existent) language, and violence. Proceed at your own risk. :)**

**I think you all know the drill...Stephenie Meyer holds all the Twilight copyrights, created all the characters and storylines, has all the talent, money, and success. I own squat. Wah! **

**I love reviews. Please let me know what you think. :)**

**Chapter One: Just A Girl**

_'I'm just a girl in the world...'_

_**Elisa**_

_"And without thinking, without worrying about the fact that fifty people were watching, Harry kissed her..."_

"It's about time, Harry." I muttered, turning the page as I shifted to a more comfortable position in the dining room chair. "She's only been waiting on you to get a clue for _five years_..."

Somewhere in the distance, there was a click and then a low buzzing noise filled the kitchen, but I was miles away, picturing Harry and Ginny strolling the green grounds of Hogwarts hand in hand.

Brrrriiiing! I jumped a mile as the round timer on the table next to me began to peal. Jumping up, I immediately registered the rich smells filling the kitchen and the sound of the oven timer going off behind me. Dinner was done-no more time for daydreaming. Quickly I tossed my copy of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on the kitchen counter and turned off my own timer with a grateful click. Buying a back up timer was probably the smartest five bucks I'd ever spent...without it I would have probably burnt the house down by now, lost as I could get in my own head.

By the time I heard the front door open I'd put Mom's potato and fettucine casserole on the stove to cool, gotten the bowl of salad out of the fridge and onto the table, and was setting bowls at everyone's place.

"Take a shower, Colby!" I heard my father yell after my little brother as Colby went tearing up the stairs with barely a hi to me. He must have been dying to check the latest football scores on my computer.

Hey, Elisa." My father's voice was cautious as he made his way from the front room into the dining room. I saw him relax as he saw the nearly set table. "Looks good...do you need any help?"

"Hmmm..." I looked around. "It's about done but if you can get me a stack of plates..."

Agreeably, my father went over to the cupboard and got the plates for everyone as I quickly got the bottles of salad dressing from the fridge. He put the stack on the table and then went back to get the casserole for me, probably so I wouldn't drop it all over the kitchen floor and spoil what was looking more and more like a completely accident free night.

I was just about to sit down, my father and brother already at the table, when Dad reached behind him, picked up my Harry Potter book off the counter, and handed it to me.

"Harry Potter again?" he asked with a smile, his blue eyes crinkled at the corner. "Haven't you memorized that series by now?"

I smiled sheepishly as I put the book near my glass of Sprite. "Pretty much." I admitted.

"Hmm." Dad looked at me with that perplexed expression he so often got these days, the look that said he was trying his hardest to think of something to say to keep the conversation going. I supressed a smile. Really, it was nice to see him make the effort. A few months ago, he wouldn't have bothered-back then he had apparently accepted that we did not, nor would we ever have anything in common. But that was before... I shook my head. So much had happened these last few months...more than I had energy to remember at the moment.

"Whatever happened to those Moonlight books you used to like so much?" Dad's voice brought me out of my own thoughts again.

"Twilight, Dad." I corrected automatically, then swallowed. What happened to Twilight indeed...he had no idea what he was asking. The books that I had once loved so much, that had been my escape from everything, were still locked in a trunk upstairs in my closet, where they had been for months. There had been many, many times that I had been tempted to just forget everything that had happened and get them out once more. I missed them like I missed a vital body part...like I had lost something that had been such a big part of me that I would never be quite the same without it. But I couldn't go back there...Twilight was more than a book series to me. Far, far more. Getting lost in those books again could mean losing myself for real, and I couldn't take that chance.

"Elisa?" Dad was still looking at me. "Everything ok?" His eyes were a little worried now.

"Oh yeah." I forced a smile and picked up my fork. "Um, I guess I just..." I couldn't bring myself to say that I got tired of the Twilight series. It was such an enormous lie I just couldn't force the words past my lips.

Dad shrugged, assuming what I was going to say. "Outgrew them, did you? You know, Elisa, if you're running out of things to read you should go to the bookstore this weekend, use that credit card Mom and I got you and stock up."

Colby scowled and slumped in his seat, folding his arms across his unimpressive twelve-year old chest. "So unfair that Elisa gets a credit card and I don't." He grumbled loudly for about the millionth time.

I rolled my eyes. "Hello, Colby, how many times do we have to remind you that the only reason that I have enough money in my account to pay for a credit card is because of the accident settlement? Believe me, if some Valium popping idiot runs over you someday and breaks half the bones in your body, you'll definitely deserve the comfort only Visa can bring you. Until then, remember that I'll be using that card to do your Christmas shopping and be grateful."

Colby brightened. "Elisa, have I told you lately that you're the best sister ever?" he grinned sweetly at me.

I sighed. I was so going to get snowed into buying him an X-Box, I just knew it.

"Speaking of the idiot..." My dad's voice was a growl now. He hated talking about the guy who had hit me the previous March. It still galled him beyond belief that he'd never been able to get the man alone and deal his own justice, the legal kind being far too lenient for his taste. "I got the monthly report from his probation officer, saying he's doing well, still drug free, all that crap. Bastard almost killed my little girl and that's supposed to make me feel better. Should be in jail the rest of his useless, stinking life."

I nodded in agreement. As far as my whole family was concerned, the only redeeming quality that the driver of the car that had hit me possessed was the fact that he'd had had really good insurance. Most of the money from the fairly large settlement he'd been forced to pay my family went into my college fund and to pay off the medical bills that our health insurance didn't cover, but there had still been enough for my parents to set up my own bank account and get me a credit card. I guess they felt I'd deserved something for all the pain I went through and I had to agree.

It had been weeks of suffering and agony as I tried to recover from my numerous injuries. I'd broken both my right arm and my right leg in the accident, plus several ribs. I'd also ruptured my spleen, which had to be removed. Scariest of all for my parents were the head injuries that had left me unresponsive for over eleven hours while the doctors told them that I might never wake up. To this day, I didn't remember most of what had happened the day of my accident. At least nothing that had happened _here_, anyway. What had been going on in my head while I lay between life and death was a whole different story...

I shook my head, determined to get off that dangerous road before my memories became too vivid. Luckily, my mother chose that moment to make her entrance.

"Hello, everyone!" She sang out as she came through the front door, shrugging out of her light overcoat. "Elisa, everything looks wonderful!" She came into the dining room, eyeing the table and then patting my hair fondly. "You're such a help to me...what would I do without you?"

"Hi sweetheart!" Dad jumped up to kiss my mother lightly. "Sorry, Anne, I thought you'd be later or we would have waited."

Mom shook her head, still smiling as she sat down next to me. "I managed to duck out a bit early and I also wrangled a long weeked off." She beamed at us. "I think we should all go somewhere together, before the weather turns too dismal."

"Sounds good. We'll talk about it tonight." Dad turned back to his plate.

I stood up to take my own empty plate to the sink and Mom looked up. "Are you finished already, Elisa?"

I nodded. "I think I'm going to go upstairs and get ready for bed."

Mom's face immediately turned concerned. "This early? Are you feeling alright? Is your arm bothering you, or your head? We can take you to the doctor's-"

"Relax, Mom." I laughed, and then swung my arm in a circle so she could see how easily it moved. "I'm all healed, remember? I'm just a little tired, plus I have a lot of homework." I groaned softly as I realized the truth of that statement.

"Well, OK, then if you're sure..." Mom still looked doubtful, so I flashed her my best 'all is well' grin as I left the kitchen and then hurried up the stairs to my room.

It was a relief to be alone once again. It seemed like I didn't get much time any more to sit down with my own thoughts. My life was so crammed...it was September and I was starting my sophomore year still a bit behind after all I'd missed last school year thanks to my weeks in the hospital and at home on bed rest. Plus a million new activities were popping up...I'd had to give up my spot on the cheerleading squad since my doctors didn't want me doing stunts, but I'd been taking dance classes since summer and we had recital auditions soon. I'd also joined the drama club at school and was trying to talk myself out of taking a creative writing elective as well next semester. On top of all that, my friend Vanessa was trying to get me to run for Student Council, which had to be her craziest idea ever, considering my utter lack of any type of organizational or leadership skills. Plus I had to schedule in two study sessions a week with my math tutor on top of everything else and I just didn't know where I was going to find the time for everything.

I had to admit though, that I did have an ulterior motive to keeping so crazy-busy, and it wasn't just because I was trying to catch up on everything I'd missed during my convalescence. It was because when I was quiet, relaxed and alone, like now, the memories came back. Memories...or were they fantasies? All those crazy dreams I'd had, before my accident, dreams where I went into another world, a world where my favorite story characters from Twilight actually lived, and I was part of their lives. I _changed_ their lives...with some totally disastrous consequences.

Still, for that short time that I'd had them, I lived for those dreams. I loved being part of another world, even as frightening and dangerous as it had been for me. It was the world I'd always wanted to be a part of. It was so much more than I could ever imagine, and I missed it. I missed _them_. But I couldn't let myself think like that, like it had all been real. It couldn't have been. No one else remembered the way things had changed because of my actions. Of course I'd changed it back, so they wouldn't remember but...no. It was crazy. OK, crazy wasn't the right word. I hadn't even realized, until I was able to look back on it later, how depressed I had been then. My friend Nancy had suggested that maybe I'd made it all up in my head to escape my life and I'd accepted she was right. I'd moved on. I hardly ever even thought about it anymore.

OK, that was such a lie. It was true that for a long time, I had been able to keep myself occupied enough to not linger on it, but lately, the forbidden thoughts had been creeping in on me more and more, filling me with a longing for something I knew I could never have again. I couldn't deny it-I wanted to go back, at least one more time, see them again, Bella, Edward, Carlisle...everyone. I couldn't. It was completely selfish and irrational of me to want to get lost in fantasyland again. I had a really good life now. Everything had been going so well, and I couldn't risk it for a bunch of daydreams.

My mind firmly made up once more, I hurried through my homework, setting the hated math aside for my tutor to go over the next day, showered, and got ready for bed. Once I was in my pajama bottoms and tank top, I carefully cleared off my night table except for the well used oil burner that was always there. Then I poured a small amount of lavender oil into the burner and lit the candle at the bottom, frowning as I realized how low my oil supply was getting. Not that oil was essential for meditation, but I liked it. I'd have to stop at Nancy's shop soon and pick up some more. Then I turned my CD player on low, hopped onto my bed, crossed my legs and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply as the melodious voice sounded from the speakers.

It was my nightly ritual before bed, meditation. I'd started way back when I was still in the hospital, after Nancy had sent me a gift basket replacing all of my supplies that had been destroyed in the accident. I'd come to rely on it, although my parents had been convinced for weeks that it was just some New Age phase that I was going through. They had no idea how badly I needed the relaxation and control it helped me achieve. I couldn't be 100% sure that it was responsible for the fact that my Twilight dreams had never returned. Maybe they just hadn't come back because I had finally convinced myself that I didn't need them any more. Still, it was better to be safe than sorry.

Once my CD had ended I blew out the candle, clicked off the light, and settled back against my pillows, looking out the window at the moon in the dark sky as my eyelids got heavier and heavier, finally sending me off into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

_**Bella**_

"You're not paying attention, Bella!" Alice's voice drilled into my ears and I sighed, tearing my eyes away from the window and focusing back on her.

"Sorry." I mumbled untruthfully. "Um..." I tried to concentrate and remember what she had been going on about, but my mind was blank. "Um...what were we talking about again?"

"The invitations, Bella." Alice nearly growled, exasperated. She tapped her brilliantly red nails next to several squares of paper on the dining room table in front of me. "Pick one. _Please_."

I sighed and forced myself to look at the sample invitations that had been done up for us. "Alice, they all look the same!"

"They are _not_ the same!" Alice snapped. "Bella, come on. The first one is cream colored, with the Sutton script. The second is icebone, with the Vivaldi font. The third is beige, and the font is Scriptina. I narrowed it down for you...now please just pick one!"

"Alice, you do know that cream, beige, and icebone are all just fancy, over-priced ways of saying 'white', don't you?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

Alice exhaled loudly. "_Bella_..."

"OK, fine, fine, I'm picking!" I threw my hands up in surrender and looked at the invitations again. They remained stubbornly similiar, just small squares of white paper in slightly different hues, and the only differences in the fancy script that I could really see was the some letters slanted in different angles. I screwed my eyes shut for a moment in concentration and then opened them again.

"OK, I got it." I looked at the invitations and began to point at each in turn. "Eeny, meny, miney, mo..."

"Bella!" Alice slapped her hands over her eyes. "You can't eeny meny miney mo a decision like this!"

I ignored her as I continued. "...my mom told me to pick the very best and you...are...not...IT!" I pointed at the first one, the one she'd described as cream colored. "That one." I sat back, satisfied. Now maybe she'd get off my back for a while.

"Bella, you are completely hopeless." Alice groaned as she resignedly put the rejected invitations away. "How can you be so cavalier about this? It's your wedding day!"

"Which I thought _you_ were going to take care of." I gave her a pointed look. "And yet I have been over here just about every single day since graduation, looking at sample books and hors d'oeuvres menus for hours. Alice, I don't care about this stuff! I told you, I just wanted a simple, quick ceremony, preferably in a Las Vegas drive-thru. You're the one who wanted a big production."

Alice was pouting now, slumped back in her chair. She still looked like a pixie princess come to life, even with her lower lip nearly hitting the floor. "I guess I just thought you'd get more excited as time went on. It's just not natural, not caring about your own wedding. C'mon, Bella, aren't you excited at all? Don't you _want_ to marry my brother?"

I groaned. "That's a trick question and you know it."

"Well?" Alice persisted, leaning towards me now, her dark eyes wide. "Don't you?"

I sighed. "If you're asking whether I want to spend the rest of eternity committed to Edward, yes. A thousand times yes. Whether I think it's necessary to have an over the top ceremony and a wedding certificate in order to do that...no. I think it's silly and pretentious and..._human_."

Alice opened her mouth to object and I silenced her with a look. "I'm still going through with it. I know what it means to Edward. And I'm fully committed to having the very best wedding ceremony too. Isn't that enough? Do I really have to sit here day after day and be tortured with inconsequentials?"

Alice frowned. "I suppose you've been a good sport about everything." She admitted after a moment of thought. "Alright, let's compromise. You have to be part of the big decisions and you have to take them seriously. I know it's not your thing but I don't want you to look back on this day years from now and regret that it wasn't really yours. But all the little stuff...napkin colors, place settings, menu options, etc...I'll take of those decisions and I promise not to make you crazy over every little thing. Deal?"

I thought about for a minute, then smiled, reaching out to take her small hand. "Deal." We shook firmly.

Alice's smile faded almost instantly as I climbed to my feet. "Where do you think you're going?" she demanded.

"I thought we were done for today!" I wailed as I took in her stern expression. "Didn't we just come to an agreement?"

"Yes, we did." Alice gave me a 'sit back down or be eaten' look and I reluctantly complied. "We do still have some major decisions to make, Bella, and we have less than two months to do it. For instance, we have five bridesmaids' dresses that still need to be made, and we haven't even picked the colors yet. We definitely need to get moving on that as soon as possible."

I shot her a puzzled look. "Five bridesmaid dresses?" I counted silently in my head. "There are only four bridesmaids, Alice. You, Rosalie, Angela, and Jessica."

Alice looked confused for a minute and then her face cleared. "That's right. I keep forgetting that the fifth bridesmaid was a longshot." She shook her head and then frowned again. "I still can't believe you asked Jessica. This is too special of a day to have it shared with people you barely even like."

I shrugged. "She was my first friend in Forks. Maybe it was not the most lasting, deepest friendship I've ever had, but I guess I was feeling nostalgic. Anyway, she's thrilled about it...you know, I'll bet she'd LOVE to spend hours pouring over all the minute details with you if you need company."

Alice's curled lip told me exactly what she thought of that suggestion, and I hurried to change the subject before she started complaining again. "Wait a second...who did you think was going to be the fifth bridesmaid? There isn't anyone else I would have seriously considered, except Esme, and she's taking care of all the mother of the bride duties since Renee..." I broke off with a pang as I thought of my mother. "That's it, isn't it? You thought maybe Renee would participate? Can mothers of the bride even be bridesmaids?" I sighed and shook my head. "Not that it would ever happen now anyway."

"Oh, Bella." Alice's face was soft and sympathetic now. "She's still not taking your calls?"

I shook my head dully, my face grim as I recalled the showdown with my parents over my marriage plans. Charlie had pretty much taken the news the way I'd expected-with a lot of red faced shouting, name-calling, and a few thinly veiled threats aimed in Edward's direction. Still, the whole ordeal hadn't been nearly as bad as I'd expected. Beneath all the screaming, there had been a definite note of resignation in Charlie's voice, almost like he'd expected it all along. Maybe he had-he'd surprised me with his intuition on more than one occasion. Anyway, he wasn't happy about the fact that Edward and I were getting married, something he made clear on a near hourly basis, but he was going along with it, however reluctantly.

Renee was a whole other story. After telling my father, breaking the news to her had almost seemed easy. Sure, she had never been big on the idea of me marrying young after what she'd been through with my father, but she knew I wasn't her, that I was more mature and level-headed. Plus she'd seen me and Edward together-she knew we had more then the typical high school romance. I had been certain that even if she was upset, she'd swallow her disappointment and accept our plans with good grace.

Boy, had I ever been wrong. Renee had become absolutely furious with me when I told her I was engaged. No amount of explaining, crying, and pleading could get through to her. She told me over and over that I was making a mistake, that I was too young, that I needed to wait. When that didn't work, she flat out asked me why we couldn't wait a few years, at least until I was finished with college. There was no explanation that I could give her. I couldn't tell her the truth, of course, and anything else sounded shallow and lame, even to me. That was enough to convince her that I was being unforgivably stupid and stubborn. When she told me that she couldn't condone my decision and she wouldn't be a part of it, it was a crushing blow. I never thought that my own mother wouldn't be there on one of the most important days of my life. Renee had no idea how much more I was choosing by marrying Edward. Another world, another life...one that she couldn't be a part of. I thought at least I'd get the chance to say goodbye...

A hopeful thought struck me and I looked up at Alice, brightening slightly. "Alice, have you seen something? Is Renee going to change her mind? Will she be there after all?"

Alice raised her eyebrow and her lips curved into a playful smile. "Bella, are you asking me to tell you the future? Because that would be cheating." She crossed her arms across her chest and grinned smugly.

"You cheat all the time!" I burst out. "Come on, Alice, give me a hint. It would make me feel so much better if I knew what to do to make things right with her. Please? Pretty please?"

Alice hopped off the chair and to her feet, still smiling. "Nope, sorry, Bella. This is one situation you really need to figure out yourself. I'm going to go upstairs and get the fabric samples for you to look over. Be right back!" Giggling fiendishly, she streaked out of the room, leaving me fuming. Vampires...they could be so freaking _annoying_.

Alice was back before I'd had time to work up to a full-fledged temper tantrum. "Here you go!" she sang, tossing a small board with dozens of swaths of fabric towards me. "Why don't you start by eliminating the ones that you absolutely can't stand? That should be easy enough. While you do that, I'm going to narrow down the guest list. I need you to approve it when I'm done, but I am going to leave some open space for unexpected guests. You just never know who might drop by out of the blue."

"Actually, _you_ do." I pointed out, my eyes narrowing. "And I expect advance warning of any surprises."

Alice's face was unexpectedly serious. "I'll do my best, Bella, but I don't see everything. For instance, our trans-dimensional hitchhiker definitely caught me off guard. I keep waiting for her to show up again, maybe just fall through the ceiling and land at our feet when we least expect it."

"Elisa." I smiled at the memory. "She was definitely...interesting. I really don't think she's coming back though. She seemed pretty determined when she said she wasn't."

Alice sighed. "I know. It's just that...Elisa was _so_ excited about your wedding." She started to laugh. "And I thought _I_ was happy about it...you should have seen your face when she looked at your ring and started screaming. I just can't believe she's not the least bit tempted to come back for it."

I shrugged. "I wouldn't mind if she did, but I think Elisa's more than aware of the risks of coming back again. Last time she almost got stuck here forever. I wouldn't get your hopes up if I were you."

Alice exhaled again. "You're right. It's too bad though. Most of the things that surprise me are sinister and disturbing. At least she was fun."

I nodded. "True." My voice trailed off as my gaze wandered outside once again.

"Bella..." Alice poked my chair with her foot. "You're a million miles away again. What's going on?"

I frowned. "I'm just thinking about not so fun things. Like what Edward's going through right now." I sighed heavily. "Alice, are you sure we can't cut this short? I really don't think I should leave him on his own in this."

Alice folded her slender hands together primly. "There are some things you have to let Edward face by himself, Bella, no matter how difficult. This is something he has to do alone."

I groaned. "Alice, do you have any idea what he's probably suffering right now? For _me_?" I shook my head, then stood up. "I can't stand this anymore. I have to go see if he's alright!"

Alice was quicker, as always...she was in front of me in a flash, grabbing my hands. "Bella, please. We cannot interfere." She exhaled a deep, shaky breath, and I was alarmed by the trembling of her lips. "It's fate...meant to be. You have to be strong now. Edward will survive this latest horrible ordeal...well, probably." she sighed again, looking out the window now, her face haunted and foreboding.

I dropped her hands, glaring at her. "Alice, that is not funny! Will you stop freaking me out like that?"

Alice's lips were trembling harder now as she fought to supress her giggles. Giving up, her bell-like laughter sounded loudly and I glared furiously at her. "I couldn't help it, Bella. You and Edward just overreact to everything concerning each other...it's so tempting to mess with you two."

"Ooooooh!" I was boiling now, although a part of me had to admit her dramatic show had been just the teensiest bit funny. "Alice, I think it's time for us to find out just how well your immortality holds up because I am going to _kill _you!"

"Gotta catch me first!" Alice laughed merrily and with that she was gone in a blur of motion, with me in hot pursuit.

_**Edward**_

Lisa Hoover, proprieter of After Hours Formal Wear in Port Angeles, took what she thought was a discreet peek at the clock on the wall, then looked back at me and sighed.

"Mr. Cullen, are you sure your party is coming?" She smiled thinly, revealing a pink lipstick stain on her large white teeth. "It has been nearly forty-five minutes past your appointment time and he hasn't called..."

I braced myself to do what I needed to do and leaned forward, capturing her watery blue eyes with my own. "I'm positive he will be here, Ms. Hoover, but if it is inconvenient in any way for you to wait, we can, of course, reschedule." I widened my eyes deliberately as I held her gaze and her face flushed, her eyes going unfocused.

"Oh n-no, Mr. Cullen. Of course that won't be necessary...we'll take all the time you need." She stood up from the small table where we were sitting in the back of the shop, bumping it as she tried to steady herself. "Would you like more coffee?" She looked at my untouched cup questioningly.

"No thank you, Ms. Hoover." I smiled blandly and she drew in her breath.

_I know I could use something stronger than caffeine myself. _ I heard her thinking as she stumbled towards the coffee maker in the corner. _ I just can't believe that beautiful boy is tying himself down already. He must have gotten some lucky girl in trouble. I wonder how he'd react if I offered to take him home for a test drive, let him sow his wild oats a bit before he shackles himself for life..._

As her planned advances became more and more detailed, I stopped myself from shuddering...barely. Lisa Hoover's thoughts had been similarly licentious since I'd set foot in her shop nearly an hour earlier. She gave new meaning to the term 'cougar'.

My attention was caught by a far away sound...the familiar rev of the engine I'd been waiting for. Quickly I stood up and made my way through the crammed clothing racks to the front of the store, looking out the window. As I knew it would, Charlie's cruiser pulled around the corner and into view a moment later. I opened the front door and hurried down the steps to greet my future father-in-law, my welcoming smile perfectly in place although I knew it was a pointless gesture. I could already see -and hear- that he was in a foul mood.

"I know I'm late." Charlie snapped as he got out of the police cruiser, ignoring my outstretched hand. "Got hung up on police business. Sorry." He added reluctantly, making a small stab at politeness.

"It's not a problem, Charlie." I said, gracefully withdrawing my rejected palm. "We're ready to begin any time you are."

"Fine. Let's get this over with then." Charlie stomped up the steps of the formalwear shop, his face set in a deep scowl. I held back a sigh as I followed him inside, wincing slightly as the glass door banged shut behind us. Perhaps I should have accepted Carlisle's suggestion of taking Charlie for his tuxedo fitting instead, but there were so few chances left to smooth things over with Bella's father. He'd accepted our plans to marry only because he feared losing his daughter for good if he withheld his acceptance. I knew it would make her so much happier if he could truly come to accept me as his daughter's husband, especially with Renee being so stubborn. Bella had wanted to end her mortal life on the best note possible and I would do anything in my power to make that happen for her. It was quickly becoming clear that my attempts to win over Charlie were completely useless, but I would try anyway. It was the least I could do before I took Bella away from everything in her human life forever.

Within a few minutes, the over eager Ms. Hoover, despite being put off by Charlie's chilly attitude, had gotten her measuring tape out and was busily making notes on a pad as she took Charlie's measurements. His scowl was even more deeply set as he stared at me over her bushy, dyed blond head.

"This isn't necessary, you know. I have a perfectly good suit at home. Of course it's not new or anything...guess I can't embarrass the Cullens by showing up in shoddy duds." he grumbled as Ms. Hoover coaxed him to take off his bulky police coat so she could try a suit jacket on him.

"It's not like that at all, Charlie. It's just that Alice really had her heart set on seeing you dressed in something top of the line." I hoped that bringing up the one Cullen that Charlie was genuinely fond of might soften him a bit.

It worked. Charlie's face brightened minutely. "Ah, that Alice. What is she up to lately? I never see her anymore...or my daughter either, for that matter." He shot me a black look.

I shrugged. He knew perfectly well that Alice and Bella were busy planning the wedding-there was no reason to point out the obvious. I changed the subject. "So what was the police business that kept you? I hope everything is alright."

Charlie grimaced and I hid a smile as I listened to the direction his thoughts were turning in. I'd just asked him out of politeness but it looked like he might actually have a rather amusing tale to tell.

"I was trying to get Mrs. Haversham's damn cat out of her tree." Charlie grumbled, impatiently holding out his arm as Ms. Hoover made adjustments and notes.

"Really?" I was unable to suppress my amusement now. "I had no idea that police officers still did such things. Chivalry apparently is not dead after all."

Charlie rolled his eyes impatiently...it was amazing how much he suddenly resembled his daughter. "It's not the fact that the stupid cat ran up the tree that brought me out there. It's what he did before he ran up the tree, which was eat one of the next door neighbor's 'prize-winning' parakeets. Who the hell actually goes to bird shows and gives those things awards anyway? Damn waste of time if you ask me. Anyway the Marshes, who owned the parakeet, were screaming bloody murder over it, and Mrs. Haversham was in hysterics, saying they were trying to kill her cat in retaliation. I spent the morning trying to keep George Marsh from shooting the stupid cat out of the tree and the two missus's from scratching each other's eyes out. The whole street turned out to see the show, and there was a big screamfest over who was in the right. Seems the Marshes' birds are always kicking up a racket...half of the neighborhood was all in favor of throwing the cat a parade. It was a mess."

My lips quirked. "So did you rescue the cat and smooth everything over?"

Charlie frowned even more deeply. "That bird-eating beast wouldn't budge with all the racket going on below, not that I blame him. He was still up there when I left to come here. Deputy Greene took over for me. Guess I'll find out how it all went down when I get back."

A sudden jangling ended any further conversation. Charlie yanked his arm away from the aggrieved tailor, and dug into his pants pocket, pulling out his cell phone.

"Greene? What's going on? You got that cat down yet?"

With my heightened senses, I could plainly hear Deputy Greene's side of the conversation.

"Yeah, Chief, we got Mr. Giggles down all right but things are still pretty bad here. The Marshes are saying the cat's a menace to all the local pets and the Havershams are pitching a bigger fit then ever about keeping him. We called Animal Control but they won't touch him. They said the shelter is full up and they aren't going to get involved. We gotta do something before-"

He was cut off as I heard voices yelling faintly in the background. "I'm telling you Haversham, I see that cat around here and I'm shootin' to kill! He ain't getting any more of our birds, I can guarandamntee you that!"

"Aw, put a sock in it!" Deputy Greene yelled back and then began speaking to Charlie once more. "They'll be fighting all night about this unless we do something with the cat, get him out of here until things calm down and they can come to some sort of agreement."

Charlie groaned. "Fantastic. I guess none of the neighbors can take him...Marsh can walk half a block to shoot him just as easily as aim over the fence. Hey, why don't you take the cat for a couple of days?"

"Hell no!" Deputy Greene's voice was emphatic. "I told you I'm allergic to cats...I've already got hives where the sun don't shine because of him."

"Great." Charlie closed his eyes. "Well, I'm not taking him. I hate cats. Who the hell am I going to find to take this mess off our hands?" Suddenly his eyes popped open again and he looked directly at me. Ever so slowly, a grin...a wide, insidious grin, the kind he only got when he was fantasizing about something truly evil to do to me, spread over his face. Oh _no_. He wasn't really going to ask...

His thoughts confirmed that he was even before the words were out of his mouth. "Hey Edward...wanna do your pop to be a big favor?"

Just over an hour later, I was pulling up the drive of my home, angling the Volvo as close to the porch as possible so I wouldn't have far to carry the hissing, yowling feline in the carrier next to me. Resignedly, I got out of my seat and reached for it. As soon as I lifted it off the seat, the cat went crazy, crying so loudly its vocals sounded more like a child's scream as it thrashed and bounced off the sides and roof of the carrier, frantically seeking an escape. My mood lightened a bit as I saw Bella's truck parked nearby. Not that I thought she would have gone home without seeing me but still, knowing I was just minutes away from being next to her was a relief after this interminably long day without her.

As soon as I opened the front door, I was greeted by the sound of Bella's laughter sounding from the living room and my own smile echoed in response.

"No fair getting Jasper and Emmett on your side, Bella." I heard Alice grumble. I entered the room to see her holding her side and grimacing.

Bella just grinned. "Turnabout's fair play, Alice. I still can't believe a vampire can be ticklish...how is that possible, anyway?"

Alice turned and shot Jasper a black look. "I can't believe you betrayed me like that. You promised me you'd never tell!"

Jasper just grinned. "I'll make it up to you...later."

Before Alice could respond, the cat let out another earsplitting screech and the four of them turned to me in surprise.

"Edward!" Bella's face lit up and she rushed towards me, then stopped abruptly, staring at the carrier dangling from my fingers. "What is_ that_?"

"A favor I'm doing for Charlie." I said dourly as the carrier swayed back and forth, the cat once more making a futile bid for freedom. "He needed someone to hold onto it for a few days...I'll fill you in once I get cleaned up."

Bella wrinkled her nose as she bent down to look cautiously through the wire mesh at Mr. Giggles. "What's wrong with it?" she demanded as he shrieked loudly enough to make her wince. "Is it sick or something?"

"No." Emmett answered for me as he came closer to take a look. "It knows what we are. Cats, just like any other animal, domestic or otherwise, hate vampires. They sense that we're predators, a threat to them. It's why we've never attempted to keep any type of animals, although at least dogs can be won over with a lot of time and patience. Our friends in Denali have several."

"Well, this is going to be a fun couple of days." Alice grimaced and put her delicate hands over her ears as the cat continued to shriek. "And what is that _smell_?"

I sighed. "Mr. Giggles is unfortunately male and like any other male cat, he sprays when he feels threatened." I looked down on the dark wet spot on my shirt and groaned silently. "At least I can shower but I don't think the Volvo is ever going to be the same."

"Oh, Edward," Bella put her hand over her mouth, looking torn between sympathy and amusement. "I am _so_ sorry my father conned you into this. I should have never left you alone with him...I knew he was going to pull something."

"It's alright." I grinned at her, my black mood completely gone, and reached out an arm to pull her closer. "If it helps Charlie to look on me the least bit more favorably, it's well worth it."

Bella smiled at me but ducked my arm, stepping back out of reach. I looked at her quizzically, a little hurt, and she began to grin, amusement clearly beating out sympathy. "I'm sorry, Edward but you really, really _stink_." She clasped her hand over her nose and began to laugh at the consternation on my face.

I sighed, beaten. "I'm showering." I shoved the carrier towards Alice, who took it reluctantly. "Do something with him, will you?"

Alice raised her eyebrows haughtily. _You owe me_. She sent the thought at me. _And believe me, I'm going to expect payment in full_. With that, her mind went deliberately blank, leaving me to ponder what she could possibly want from me as I headed up the stairs towards my room...

_**Elisa**_

Sweet freedom at last...I bounded down the hallway and out the front door of Patrick Henry High, enjoying the warmth of the sunshine on my face. School had been extra dull and mind-numbing today , but now it was over and for once, I had the rest of the afternoon to do anything I wanted. As I was pondering the possibilities, a voice called out my name.

"Hey, Elisa!"

I turned and my smile brightened as I saw Michelle and Rae making their way down the steps towards me.

"You looked like you were in a hurry." Rae noted as they reached me. "Where are you off to?"

"Haven't decided yet. Anywhere but here." I grinned, and then looked them over, noting that they were both in uniform. "You two have cheerleading practice?"

"Yeah, we're on our way over now. We just wanted to say hi...seems like we haven't really talked in forever." Michelle looked a bit sad.

"Yeah." I felt uncomfortable. "I really wish we could hang out more too. It just seems like we always have something different going on. You two are busy with cheerleading, and I have dance and drama and..."

"Elisa, come here! I need to talk to you!" Another voice was calling my name now. I whirled around to see Vanessa Lawrence standing at the top of the steps, waving at me.

Rae and Michelle had also looked to see who was shouting at me, and now Rae looked back at me, her face suddenly cold. "We'd better go, Elisa. It looks like your _real_ friends are looking for you. Come on, Michelle." With that, they both turned on their heels and marched away without looking back. I swallowed hard as I watched them disappear, feeling angry tears form in my eyes. Rae was so unfair! She spent our whole freshman year trying to crawl up Vanessa Lawrence's ass and now that Vanessa and I were friends, she acted like_ I _was the social climber. It wasn't my fault Vanessa couldn't stand her.

"Elisa!" Vanessa was beside me now, poking my shoulder gently. "Didn't you hear me? Are you alright?"

I looked up at her, which took considerable effort considering that she was nearly a foot taller than I was, and blinked. "Sorry, Vanessa...it's just Rae. She's getting on my nerves."

Vanessa patted my shoulder sympathetically. "She's jealous of you, Elisa. Ignore her."

"I don't know why she'd be jealous of me." I grumbled, scuffing my shoe on the stone steps.

Vanessa shook her magnificent mane of red hair back impatiently. Clearly, she didn't have time to dissect Rae's mood swings. "Anyway, I just wanted to give you this." She beamed as she pulled a small box out of her shoulder bag and handed it to me. "It's from me and Mark."

Confused, I pulled the box open and pushed the tissue paper aside to reveal a small porcelain figurine. I lifted it out carefully, and then smiled. "It's Cupid...how cute! I think you're a little off on the timing though. Valentine's Day is months away."

"Silly Elisa, don't you get it? Mark and I are having our two month anniversary tomorrow because of you. It's just our way of saying thanks." Vanessa chuckled and patted my head. "I would have let him give it to you tonight, but I knew he'd forget. Anyway, I've got to run...I have a Save Darfur protest strategy meeting to get to." She sighed as she looked at her watch. Of course she did...Vanessa had about a million causes she was completely committed to. Her awe-inspiring goodness was just sickening sometimes.

I sighed as she moved away from me. "Vanessa, don't you _ever_ have a shallow moment?"

"Why do you think I hang out with you?" Vanessa teased and laughed at my glower. "I'll call you tonight if I can. Later!" She waved and dashed down the steps, heading towards the parking lot.

My feet moved slowly as I turned in the opposite direction, towards the street and my bus stop. As I walked, I thought about Vanessa and Mark. It was nice that they both felt I was responsible for getting them together, but it wasn't really true. Mark was my math tutor...a twenty year old college student from the University of San Diego. He was nice, cute, funny, and patient...in fact, for the longest time I'd had the biggest crush on him. It was a harmless infatuation...Mark seemed to like me, but in a friendly, big brother type of way, and it would have been a little creepy if he'd felt differently anyway...I was only fifteen. Still, I nursed my fantasies about him carefully-it helped chase all the Edward Cullen ones out of my head. Until the night that Vanessa stopped by to drop off something I'd left at her house and ran into him. One look at her, and Mark was completely smitten. I couldn't really blame him. Vanessa was beautiful and sweet, and more importantly, she was eighteen...way more his type. So I'd quashed my selfish jealousy and gave him her phone number...they'd been together ever since. The whole thing was really kind of depressing. It reminded me a bit of the pointlessness of drooling over Edward with Bella Swan in the room. I hoped this wasn't going to become a life long pattern of me constantly losing the best guys to girls that were smarter, prettier and just way better than me in every way.

I was so deep in my musing, pondering my future as the lonely single best friend/forever a bridesmaid type, that I didn't register the honking of the horn at first. Finally a familiar voice broke into my reverie.

"Hey daydreamer! Get your head out of the clouds!" I jumped a mile then looked up to see my father's blue car at the curb right next to me. He was grinning at my shocked expression. "Get in, kid."

Still stunned, I opened the passenger side door, tossed my backpack in the backseat, and climbed in. "What are you doing here, Dad? I thought you had football practice with Colby."

My father shrugged. "With the head coach sick and three of our players either indisposed or injured, I decided it was pointless, so I cancelled it. Colby got invited to a friend's house for dinner so I figured, since I had the time off anyway, that I'd come and get you. Maybe we can grab a bite to eat and I can run you over to the bookstore like we were talking about yesterday. You up for it?"

I stared at him in amazement. This was completely out of character for him...the last time we'd done anything together, just me and him was...well, never. Things with my father had been a lot better lately, but there was still a distance and awkwardness to our relationship. Whatever would we talk about? Still, despite my apprehension, I couldn't help but be touched that he was going out of his way to spend time with me. He was really trying...the least I could do was the same.

Dad was still smiling as he drove, waiting for my response. Either he was in a really good mood or aliens had snatched his body and taken over his mind. "Well, you want to go to Borders or what?"

"Hmmm." I thought for a moment. I actually did want to go to the bookstore but we didn't have a lot of time and I preferred to do my book browsing when no one was hurrying me along. Saving that excursion for Saturday was probably better. "Actually, I think I want to go to Horton Plaza, if you don't mind. I need to stop at Nancy's...I'm out of lavender oil and tealights. There's an ice cream parlour nearby...we can always eat there."

"Sure, if that's what you want." Dad didn't seem thrown by the change of plans. Within minutes we were off the freeway and downtown, headed towards Horton Plaza. We didn't talk much on the way there...Dad just asked me some generic questions about my day, but the quiet between us was companionable.

We decided to head to the ice cream parlour first. I'd been there several times with Nancy-when I came to visit her she usually closed the shop for an hour or so while we caught up. So I wasn't surprised by the elaborate flavor and topping menus but Dad was definitely bemused.

"I gotta take your mother here." He muttered to himself, looking the menu over. "They've got a flavor for every single possible craving a person could possibly have. I mean seriously..._cheese_ flavored ice cream?"

In the end, we both stuck with safer choices. He got two scoops of toffee and mocha flavored ice cream and I had a large mint and chocolate chip shake.

"This is totally going to wreck our appetites for dinner." I mused as we sat down at a corner booth.

Dad shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'm going to pick something up anyway. Probably Chinese. Your mother needs a break from cooking." He was quiet for a moment. "Elisa, I do actually have an ulterior motive for wanting a little alone time with you. I think we need to talk."

My eyes widened in alarm. "What did I do?" I burst out, unable to help myself. Old habits died hard.

Dad laughed, but there was a sudden note of sadness to it. "You didn't do anything, Elisa. In fact, you've been great. It's more something that _I_ did."

That didn't sound any less ominous. I stared at him anxiously, waiting for him to continue.

Dad was definitely looking uncomfortable now. "I think we both know that things weren't too great between us before your accident."

Suddenly feeling self-conscious, I shifted my eyes away from his face to stare down at the shiny table top. "Dad, that was a long time ago. It's OK, really."

"No, it's not." His voice was firm. "The way that I was to you, and the way I was starting to act towards your mother and even to Colby a bit...it wasn't OK. It was..." He stared over my shoulder out the window behind me. "It was my own father, all over again. I always swore I'd never be like him but the road to hell... Anyway, you probably don't remember him that well since you were so young when he died, but Grandpa Todd, well, that was a man with a temper. A man that didn't put up with any nonsense. That's what he called any type of behavior that didn't fall in line with complete obedience to him and his way of thinking. He was quick with a harsh word and quicker with his hands...at least I didn't let myself sink that far."

Dad shook his head. He looked completely miserable now but I couldn't stop staring. I had never heard any of this before and it was fascinating. "Anyway, when we almost lost you, it made me face up to a lot of things. I couldn't stand the idea that you could have died never knowing how much I love you, how proud I am to have you for a daughter. I don't want things to be like that anymore."

My face reddened and my eyes were rapidly filling with tears. I waved my hands in front of my face, trying to cool off before I was reduced to a blubbering mess. "Dad, stop it. You're making me all weepy." My voice quavered as I caught his eye. For a moment we were both red-faced and silent, then simultaneously, we began to laugh.

"Well, that's it." Dad said once we'd calmed down a bit. "That's pretty much the big speech. I've been meaning to have this talk with you for a while but I'm not so good with words. I just wanted you to understand that this thing where I don't scream at you every second isn't only temporary. It's the way it's going to be from now on. A lot of changes are going to happen in our family, actually."

"Really?" I was intrigued now...his voice hinted at a lot that he wasn't saying. "Like what?"

Dad was grinning now. What was it that he was so completely happy about it? "Well, your mother for instance. You know she's been cutting back her hours at work lately. She's going to be doing that more and more...in fact, there's going to come a point where she's going to be home almost all the time." He looked extremely pleased with himself. "You'll find out more this weekend. We're going away for a few days...all four of us. We have some good news to celebrate."

I was puzzled for a moment, trying to figure out what in the world this big news could be, then I gasped. "Oh. My. God. Omigod! Is Mom-?"

Dad put a finger to his lips, still smirking. "I've said too much already. This is really her news to tell...she'll kill me if she finds out I let anything slip." His eyes were suddenly anxious. "Don't give Colby any hints, alright? We really did want this to be a surprise."

"No, of course I won't-" I couldn't finish my sentence, or my milkshake. I was so excited that I wanted to leap off my seat and run around in circles screaming. I settled for bouncing quietly in my seat as Dad watched me with amused eyes. He hadn't come right out and said Mom was pregnant, but he might as well have. I couldn't believe it! They'd always said they wouldn't have any more kids and now...this was incredible! "Oh my God. This is like the _best day ever_!" I announced as I stirred my straw around in my rapidly melting ice cream, beaming.

"I'm glad you're having fun." Dad finished the last bite of his ice cream and looked over at me, watching me tear off pieces of my styrofoam cup and shred them. "You look like you're done. Should we go see your New Age/pagan/witch type friend?"

I giggled as I stood up and threw my half-drank milkshake into the trash. "Nancy's not a witch, Dad."

"But she is a New Age pagan or whatever they call them now?" Dad raised his eyebrows as he proceded me out of the ice cream parlour.

I laughed. "I don't know. I guess. You make her sound so weird though, and she's not. For someone who runs the type of place she does, she's actually very down to earth, and she tells the best stories. She's a lot of fun and she's been very nice to me."

Dad shrugged. "Yeah, I remember meeting her when she came to the hospital with your gift basket. She was a little odd, but she seems alright. It's a little weird that she's so buddy-buddy with a fifteen year old though. Don't let her recruit you into any covens."

I rolled my eyes, giggling. "Oh, come on, Dad, it's not like Nancy invites me for sleepovers or anything. I only see her every few weeks. Anyway, I think she's kind of lonely. She doesn't know many people in San Diego...she moved here from some little town in Missouri. She has a daughter but she never talks about her much...I think they're out of touch for some reason. She seems happier lately though...I think she's finding her place here."

I could tell Dad wasn't really interested, but he was making an effort to listen politely. "Good for her." he murmured. "Well, let's go check out the magic shop."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Actually Dad, you really don't have to come. I'll probably hang out for a while and catch up with her, and I know you're not interested in looking at tarot cards and books about spiritual healing. Why don't you just go pick up dinner and head home, make Mom put her feet up or something? I can take the bus."

Dad hesitated for a moment, looking torn. "If you're sure...but I don't want you out too long. If you lose track of time, don't try and catch the bus...call me and I'll come and get you. Don't forget that Mark is coming over at seven. I don't want you to be late for that-these tutoring sessions are costing me a fortune." He winked at me.

"I won't be. I promise." I gave him a mock salute.

"OK then." Dad paused once again, then suddenly patted my cheek. "Love you, kid. See you at home."

I smiled shakily. "You too, Dad. Drive carefully. I won't be too long." I watched him walk back down the sidewalk towards his car. Just before he got in, he waved at me and I waved back, standing there until the blue car was nothing but a dot in the distance. Once it was completely out of sight, I turned and headed down the block to Azalea's Spiritual Emporium.

The familiar bell signaled my arrival as I pushed open the door to Nancy's shop, but there was no one in sight when I stepped inside. I looked around in confusion, wondering if she'd stepped out for a minute and forgotten to lock the door, but then her voice sounded from the back storeroom.

"I'll be right out!" In a minute Nancy appeared, looking a bit harried but breaking into a wide smile when she saw me. "Elisa! This is a nice surprise." She dusted off her long red shirt. "You in the mood for a triple decker sundae?"

I shook my head smiling. "Sorry. My dad already took me out for ice cream."

Nancy shook her head in mock disappointment. "Darn it. There goes my one excuse for blowing off the diet." We both laughed and then Nancy waved me towards her. "Well, why don't you come back here and keep me company for a few minutes? I'm up to my ears in inventory...I have no idea what to do with most of it."

I followed Nancy into the crowded stock room, gasping as I saw how full of boxes it really was. There looked like there was enough stuff to stock the whole shop all over again. "What is all this?"

Nancy groaned as she sat resignedly down on the floor and reached for a box cutter. "All my vendors are sending me their holiday wares. I have at least ten boxes of Christmas stuff and it's not even Halloween yet. If they send me any more, I'm going to have to start taking it home with me." She sighed as she sliced open the box nearest to her. "I'm thinking of having a pre-holiday sale to try and make room."

"Sweet!" My eyes sparkled. "If you do, I'm totally stocking up. By chance, would that gorgeous medieval dress that I've been staring at every time I come in be marked down? Let's say, from $300 down to something much more in my price range...like $40?" I batted my eyes.

Nancy chuckled. "Sorry, Elisa, but the lady that makes those dresses puts a lot of time into them and she doesn't go for discounts. If it ever does go on sale though, I'll make sure you get first crack at it."

"Thanks." I cautiously moved a box out of my way and sat down next to her. "So, anything interesting happen lately?" I asked hopefully.

Nancy smiled as she began to empty the box in front of her. "Funnily enough, yes. I got the craziest woman in here about three days ago. You'll never believe what she wanted." She paused for dramatic emphasis. "She wanted me to find her a spell to -get this- turn her husband into a _frog_."

I stared. "Are you _serious_?"

Nancy nodded, smirking. "I tried to explain to her that turning her husband into a frog is just a little on the impossible side, but she wasn't having it. She went on and on about it, ranting and raving about how he was making her life hell and she had to get rid of him somehow. Honestly, she was such a shrew that I felt sorrier for him. It was hard enough listening to that mouth for twenty minutes...I don't know how the poor guy can stand living with it."

"So what did you do?" I asked curiously.

Nancy shrugged. "I finally sold her some herbs and oils and a couple of books. She didn't leave very satisfied, but at least she left. I haven't told you the best part yet though." Her eyes sparkled. "The next day, her husband comes into the shop. Turns out he found the receipt in the trash and he was all worried she was trying to hex him or something. He wanted me to sell him some protection spells. I had a better idea. I told him if he wanted a happier marriage, what he should do is go to the nearest pet store, buy the biggest frog he could find, and leave it on his side of the bed early some morning before she wakes up. Then take a long weekend and see what he comes home to after that."

I was laughing so hard my sides hurt. "You _didn't_!" I gasped. "Did he do it?"

Nancy was laughing too. "I don't know but he was seriously considering it. Oh, I wish I'd asked him to set up a camera so I could see her face if he goes through with it."

I was out of breath as I tried to picture it. "Do you think that would work though?"

Nancy looked smug as she finished emptying the box in front of her and started on another one. "Well, I figure that either she's going to really regret what she thinks she's done and appreciate him far more when he comes back, or she'll be thrilled to be rid of him and hopefully pack up for parts unknown before he returns. Either way, he'll be better off." She winked at me.

My giggles quieted as we both heard the sound of the bell chime again. Nancy hopped up. "Customers!" She said brightly. I got up too, ready to go and replenish my oil supply while she helped whoever had come in. I was half hoping it would be the frog man or his wife...that was one conversation I definitely wanted to overhear.

We were only a step out of the stockroom when Nancy gasped and stiffened. "No!" I barely heard the whisper as it burst from her lips. Suddenly she turned and shoved me back inside the stockroom. I opened my mouth to ask her what was going on but her white, frightened face made the words freeze on my lips as apprehension crawled up my spine. Something was seriously wrong.

"I...see...you." A man's mocking drawl sounded and I shivered at the note of menace in it. "Come on out, Sheila...don't be shy now." _Sheila_? Who was Sheila?

Nancy knelt down to whisper in my ear, her face stark. "Elisa, I want you to get your cell out and call 911. Please be quiet though...he can't know you're here. Whatever you do, _don't _come out!"

"Nancy..." I whispered her name.

She just shook her head at me as the man's voice sounded again. "Sheila, if you make me come back there and get you I'm gonna get angry."

With one final, warning look at me Nancy turned and left the stockroom. I pressed myself back against the wall, feeling my breath come in gasps. I didn't know who that man was, or why he was calling Nancy Sheila, but I knew we were in trouble. With shaking hands, I extracted my phone from my purse, dialing 911 and wincing at the low beeps as I pressed the numbers, praying he wouldn't hear.

"911, what is your emergency?" The operator's voice was calm and impersonal.

"Hi, um...I don't really know but there's a man here and I think he's going to hurt my friend." My voice was trembling.

The operator's voice instantly became more human. "Where are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm at Horton Plaza, at a store called Azalea's Spiritual Emporium. I um...I don't know the address."

"That's OK, honey, I've got it. I'm sending a unit your way right now. Are you safe where you are?" The operator asked.

"Yeah, I think. I'm in the back, in the stockroom. He doesn't know I'm here." I whispered.

"Good. I want you to stay where you are. Who is the man?"

"I don't know. The lady that owns the shop, she got scared when she saw him, and she made me hide. She's alone with him right now...please hurry!" My voice was threatening to crack.

"Just stay calm...there is a unit in the area and they're on their way. Did you see if he had any weapons?"

"No...I..." My voice broke off as I heard muffled shouting through the wall. "Wait...something's going on." I put my hand over the receiver and strained my ears.

"I'm going to ask you one last time, Sheila!" The man's voice was no longer calm. "Where is my wife?"

"My daughter is not your wife anymore!" I heard Nancy yell back. "After what you did to her, she never wants to see you again!"

"And whose fault is that, huh?" I heard a crash and flinched. "It's your fault, Sheila! You could never keep your nose out of our business. You're the one who was in her face all the time, on her back to press assault charges, get a restraining order, get a divorce, to take my son and hide from me! Did you really think I'd let either one of you get away that easily?"

"You'll never touch her." Nancy's voice was hard, but bleak. "We knew you'd come after us again, that's why we split up. She's somewhere safe, somewhere far away where you will never hurt her again, and I'll die before I tell you how to find her!"

"That can be arranged." The man's voice was an angry snarl and I gasped and brought the phone back up to my ear.

"Oh my God, he's going to kill her! Please, get someone here!" Tears were beginning to trickle down my face.

"They're almost there." The operator's voice was meant to be reassuring, but it didn't help. "What's your name, honey?"

"Elisa." I whispered.

"What's happening now, can you tell, Elisa?"

"I...hang on." I pulled the phone slightly away from my ear, listening.

"Please, Scott." Nancy's voice was pleading now. "It's over. Just turn around and leave. Do it now and I won't even call the police. If you ever cared about Melissa at all, let her go. She's happy now. Please, just leave us alone!"

There was silence for a moment and my heart swelled hopefully. Maybe he would actually listen. _Please, God, don't let him hurt Nancy...just make him leave. _My hopes were short-lived though when I heard another horrendous crash and then his laughter sounded through the room.

"What a bunch of superstitious crap you're peddling here, Sheila. What's this? Scented oil?" There was a pause and another barking, half mad laugh. "Smells like cheap ass perfume to me." There was a sudden thud, a cry of pain, and I winced, my hands automatically going over my ears. He was hitting her now...if the police didn't come soon, Nancy would be out of time. My heart was thudding so hard it felt like it was going to fly out of my chest.

"Still, this stuff could be handy." Scott was speaking again and I strained my ears to catch every word. "It's flammable, isn't it? You know, I have a bullet with your name on it, but I think this is more fitting. You want to act like a witch? Fine. You know what they did to witches a couple of centuries ago, Sheila? They _burned_ them, that's what."

There was a splashing noise, and I thought I heard Nancy moan. My breath caught in my throat as I realized what was happening. He'd doused Nancy with oil..._he was going to set her on __**fire**_.

"No!" I cried. Instincts taking over, I jumped to my feet, the cell phone falling from my numb fingers. As I desperately looked around for a weapon, I vaguely registered the operator's voice coming from the phone at my feet. "Elisa? Elisa! Stay where you are-don't go out there!"

I wasn't listening. There was no way I was going to let this sick bastard murder my friend while I crouched in a corner. My frantic fingers closed on the box cutter Nancy had been using earlier and then I was running out of the stockroom and into the shop.

As I came into sight of the unshaven, red-eyed man who bent over Nancy's crumpled figure, time seemed to slow to a sudden crawl. His head snapped around, staring into my terrified eyes in shock, and then there were three very loud, very distinct noises that happened all at the same time, although I registered them almost as separate events.

First there was Nancy's agonized scream. "Elisa...NO!"

Then there was the welcome sound of the sirens as the police car finally pulled up outside.

And the last thing I heard was the sound of the gun that was pointed directly at me as it went off.

To Be Continued...

_**Again, I really enjoy your feedback and would very much appreciate knowing what you think. :)**_

_**Crap, I almost forgot...you may have noticed that there is a big difference between how much time has passed for Elisa since she last saw Bella, Edward, and Co. and how much time has passed for the Cullen Clan. There is actually a reason for that...(although I don't promise that it will make it any sense. :p )**_


	2. The Best Day Ever

**Hello and welcome to chapter two of my Twilight fanfic, Evening Falls. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who commented on the first chapter. This story is far more intense that just about anything I've ever written, and knowing that there are people who enjoy it is what keeps me writing. Please continue to leave me feedback-it's very much appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer's stuff is not my stuff. Don't sue me...I'm broke. **

Evening Falls

#2: The Best Day Ever

_'do you know what it feels like in this world? for a girl?'_

_**Elisa**_

Water splatted around my feet as they sank into each puddle on the nearly flooded sidewalk. My green shirt was drenched, sticking to my skin like a second layer, and the rain had soaked through the denim of my jeans, turning them far darker then they actually were. My teeth had been chattering for the longest time, but as the cold penetrated further and further into my bones, my jaw became too numb to cooperate anymore and the rattling noise mercifully stopped. The shivering didn't though...I was shaking so hard it was almost impossible to keep upright and moving. Still, I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other. It couldn't be far now...I'd been walking for so long...

My progress would have been quicker if I hadn't been tripping over my own feet or unexpected obstacles on the sidewalk every few minutes. My vision was obscured both by the rivulets of water pouring down my head, and also because I refused to raise my head more than a fraction of an inch as I walked. The only exception I made was when I saw the curb nearing my feet at each corner; at that point I'd lift my eyes and allow myself the fastest of glimpses at the names on the street sign, waiting to find the right one. When I was inevitably disappointed, my eyes turned back to the ground, stubbornly glued to the concrete so that I didn't have to think about my surroundings, wouldn't have to register the fact that it had never rained this hard or been this cold in San Diego during the whole fifteen years I'd lived there. If I didn't look, I wouldn't have to realize that there were no familiar palm trees lining the sidewalk, or rows and rows of boringly perfect looking stucco homes in desert colors on each street that I turned down, that there was no sign of anything resembling home as far as my eyes could see.

As I turned another corner, there was a sudden blare of noise as a horn began honking. It reminded me of my dad and how he'd come to pick me up at school earlier, and for a moment I forgot the rules, my head snapping up and my hopeful eyes looking for his familiar vehicle. I was doomed to crushing disappointment again...the car that had pulled up to the curb next to me was a maroon Camry, with a woman I'd never seen before in my life at the wheel. She was saying something as she reached over the man seated next to her to roll down the passenger window, her face anxious. I could not summon the energy to try and comprehend her words. Lowering my head once more, I began to walk again.

The next sound I heard was that of the Camry's door slamming. Someone-must have been the man in the car- was yelling something. I took in his words grudgingly.

"Monica, get back in this car and mind your own damn business for once!"

"Hush up, Herb, I'm not leaving this child out here to freeze to death!" A woman's voice snapped back. They meant nothing to me, her words. I just had to keep moving.

"Girl, are you deaf or just stubborn?" The female's voice was in my ear now and her heavy set figure was suddenly in my path, blocking my progress. "Look at you! Out here in this miserable weather, wet to the bone, no jacket...I know it's June but this is the Olympic Peninsula, honey. You don't ever leave home without a few extra layers. Now where are you going?"

I looked up into her face...the woman before me was big, tall, and probably a bit past middle age, but her warm brown skin was so smooth and unlined it was nearly impossible to tell for sure. She looked perplexed, but there was concern in her eyes. I swallowed, my mouth dry despite everything, and tried to speak. My voice came out in halting stammers.

"I'm going h-home."

"Well..." The woman named Monica hesitated only for a moment. "Hop in the car, honey...no point in drowning before you get there. Where do you live?"

"I...uh...at 1517 Seagull Circle." I told her as I stumbled after her towards the car.

Monica whirled around, looking at me in confusion. "Seagull Circle? Child, don't play with me. There's no Seagull Circle here. I ought to know...I was born and raised in this town, and that represents more years than I'm willing to admit to. I know every single corner and hidey hole around."

I took a deep shuddering breath. "Well, that's where I live, and I have to get home. I promised my dad I wouldn't be late." I turned on my heel and started walking down the sidewalk once more.

"Wait!" Monica hurried to block me once again. Leaning down, she peered into my drenched face. "Honey, something's wrong with you. You don't look well at all. Are you lost, baby? Don't you know where you are?"

My chin began to tremble. Why couldn't she just leave me alone?

"Do you live in Forks, honey?" Monica's voice pressed.

I squeezed my eyes closed. "We're. Not. In. Forks." I hissed between my gritted teeth.

I heard Monica draw in a deep breath, and then I felt her moving close to me. Her fingers, shockingly warm against my icy skin, were suddenly firmly under my chin, forcing me to lift my face. "Open your eyes, girl. Look around and tell me what you see."

I tried to shake my head but her fingers tightened firmly. "Come on, open your eyes."

Despite myself, my eyes opened at her authoritarian tone. I stared at her blankly until she tilted my chin slightly to the side and gestured at the crossed green street signs that I hadn't reached yet. "The street sign facing us, what does it say?" Her voice was kind, but firm.

"Forks Avenue." I whispered.

"Good." she encouraged. She then took my shoulders and turned me to face across the street. "That laundromat over there, what's it called?" She pointed at the faded sign hanging loosely from the awning.

I looked at the rows of washers and dryers that I could see through the large, rain dotted window, then up at the sign. "F-Forks Wash and D-dry." My voice caught.

"Now do you know where you are?" Monica put her hands on her hips and surveyed me.

My face crumpled. "No...no...it can't be. It just..." I couldn't stop looking around now, my eyes forced to take in every unfamiliar landmark until my throat burned with the truth that I didn't want to face. "Why is this happening to me? Why _now_? I tried so hard..." As my breath came in sobbing gasps, the worry on Monica's face turned to outright alarm.

"Monica!" The man named Herb had gotten out of the car and was lumbering towards us, his voice impatient. "Are we going to stand around all day? If you want to give the girl a ride, get her in the car and let's go already!"

Monica whipped around to face him, her voice nervous for the first time. "Herb, something terrible has happened to this girl. I think we need to get her some help." Her voice was a loud whisper not meant for my ears but I didn't care anyway. Nothing made sense anymore...it was like the ground had fallen from under my feet and I was sinking into never-ending night.

The urgency in Monica's voice chased the anger out of her companion in an instant. "Alright, calm down, woman. Lemme think a minute...well, didn't we just pass Chief Swan a ways back? Why don't we take her-"

His voice was cut off by the sudden sound of squealing tires. We looked up automatically to see that a shiny black car that had just passed us had slid to an abrupt stop at the intersection. Then in an instant, it rushed forward and around, peeling into an abrupt U-turn and careening back towards us.

"What in the world-" Monica burst out indignantly, but then the driver stepped out of the car and her rant died mid-word. "Dr. Cullen! Oh thank the Good Lord, you're just who we needed!"

There was no answering response. I knew without looking that those near silent footsteps had made their way over to me, that someone was staring at me so hard that it seemed like their gaze should burn through my skull and penetrate my brain. I didn't dare meet the eyes that I knew were fixed on me. There was still time for the universe to take back this cosmically cruel joke that had been played on me...if I just didn't believe, maybe it wouldn't have happened after all...

"My God." The voice was low and thick with shock. "_Elisa?"_

I heard Monica gasp loudly. "Dr. Cullen, do you _know_ this girl?"

There was a moment's pause, and I knew even through my reluctance to take in anything that was happening around me that he had realized what a grave error he had just made.

"Yes, Mrs. Haversham, I do know her." His voice was smooth now, unruffled. "Elisa is my niece." The words were said so naturally that even I didn't feel startled by them...at first. "I didn't expect to see her here however...she lives quite a distance away."

"I should think so. She didn't seem to know her way around." Monica's voice was relieved now, and her words were spilling out a mile a minute. "Your niece gave me quite a scare, Dr. Cullen. I saw her out here, walking by herself getting soaked to the skin, and I had to stop and try and help her. I...I'm not trying to put my nose where it doesn't belong, but she doesn't seem..." Her voice trailed off as she searched for the right word. "...alright. Is there anything I can do?"

There was another tiny pause, and then the velvet voice sounded again. "Thank you very much for your concern, Mrs. Haversham, but I'm aware of the situation. There have been some...family problems lately. I suppose that's why she's here, but I need to get her home now and find out the whole story. I appreciate all the help you've given us."

"Of course, Dr." Monica's voice was hearty and cheerful now. "We'll just let you go then...oh!" She hesitated again for just a fraction of a second and then plunged ahead. "I know this is a bad time to ask, but I've been so anxious...how is Mr. Giggles?"

"He's just fine." The voice was soothing now. "Making himself right at home, although I'm sure he misses you."

"I miss him too." There was a sudden teary sound to her voice. "I do appreciate your son taking him in and keeping him safe. Those crazy Marshes...anyway, I hope he won't have to stay with you much longer. I'm going to get rid of those bird-loving, cat killing freaks if it's the last thing-"

"Monica, let the man and his niece be on their way!" Herb's voice was impatient again.

"Sorry, Dr. Cullen. I'll be in touch soon...hope everything works out. And please don't forget, Mr. Giggles only eats organic cat food and uses all natural cat litter!" Monica's voice was fading now...I could see out of the corner of my eye that Herb had taken her by the arm and was dragging her towards the car as she talked over her shoulder. There was the sound of doors slamming, then the car engine revved and they pulled away, leaving me alone with the man whose presence I still stubbornly refused to acknowledge.

"Elisa!" His voice was urgent now. "What has happened? Why are you here again?"

I wanted to put my hands over my ears to block out the unwanted sound of his questions, but he was in front of me now, leaning down to look in my face. "Speak to me, Elisa. Are you hurt?"

I couldn't speak. My chest felt so tight that it might explode if I tried, and the moisture pouring down my face wasn't just rainwater now. The only sound I could make were the gasping breaths that were squeaking out of my throat, and I was shaking harder than ever.

"Come on, Elisa. Get in the car." A cool hand encircled my upper arm, gently pulling me towards the black Mercedes. "We'll talk once you're warm and dry."

I tried to protest but the words wouldn't come and struggling was completely useless. He didn't even seem to notice that I was digging my boots into the sidewalk as hard as I could as he propelled me along. Seconds later, I was in the passenger seat. Seeming to realize that I wouldn't do it myself, Carlisle leaned over me and fastened the seatbelt across me, then was in his own seat, the door slamming shut before I had time to blink. And then we were moving, and all I could do was stare at the window at the darkening sky as we drove further and further away from everything I had ever known.

_**Bella**_

The wind whipped up slightly, swirling a few tiny branches that had been blown off the trees past my feet and across the covered patio. Stray raindrops, forced inside our cover by the breeze, dotted my hair. I shivered slightly, and instinctively leaned closer to Edward's side. His arm tightened around me.

"Let's go inside, Bella. Alice can keep an eye on Mr. Giggles for a while."

"Excuse me?" Alice's voice was indignant as her dark head whipped up. "No, Alice _won't_ sit out here by herself and babysit your stupid cat, Edward. Have you ever heard of asking?" Her voice was genuinely irritated, which was rare for her, and I looked at her in concern.

I was sitting on the Cullen's heavy glass topped outdoor table, and Edward was leaning on it next to me as Alice perched on the railing across from us. We'd been outside for the past ten minutes, thanks to Mr. Giggles, who despite having the Cullens' huge mansion to explore had expressed an urgent and very vocal need to be outdoors, rain be damned. He was cautiously picking his way across the patio now, sniffing everything in his path, his tail twitching occasionally as he shot Alice and Edward baleful stares every couple of seconds.

Edward was looking at Alice hard now, and I wondered what she was thinking to make him frown like that. I didn't have long to guess...in a moment Alice burst into agitated speech.

"I'm getting a little bit tired of the way you presume I'm just going to take care of everything for you, Edward. '_Watch Bella. Keep an eye out for the Volturi. Plan my wedding but don't step on anyone's toes. Take care of my rabid feline. Help me clean the cat pee out of my car.' _She mimicked his voice perfectly. _ " _You don't ask anymore, you just give orders, and a little thank you every now and then wouldn't hurt either." She folded her arms across her chest and turned away from him.

Before Edward could respond, Mr. Giggles suddenly bolted, making yet another one of his frequent bids for freedom. He made it several feet into the yard before Alice resignedly zipped to him, picking him up and zooming just as quickly back to the porch where she dumped him on the concrete impatiently. "Stop that, you ungrateful beast." She snapped. Mr. Giggles glared and cringed backwards, but he seemed to understand the warning for he didn't try to run again.

"Alice..." Edward's voice was coaxing as he tried to get her to look at him. "Come on now, Alice. You can't stay mad at me forever."

"Watch me!" She growled, her back turned so that we couldn't see her face. I gave Edward a 'make this right _now" _look and he nodded, stroking my face for a brief moment before he got up and approached his sister, walking around to face her.

"Perhaps I have been taking advantage of you a little." He told her as she turned back to face me so that she wouldn't have to look at him. She hissed slightly and he smiled as he came to stand behind her. "Alright, a lot. I didn't mean to make you feel unappreciated, Alice. I _am_ sorry I have been so preoccupied that it's caused me to forget my manners. I genuinely do appreciate everything you've done for us. I don't know what Bella and I would do without you."

Alice seemed to be trying hard to keep up a good show of anger, but after a moment a twinkle crept into her eyes and her lips curved into an unwilling smile. "Alright, I accept your apology...as long as you stop doing it, and you don't forget just exactly how much you owe me." Her grin was full and wicked now as she looked at her brother.

Edward raised a perfect eyebrow. "Why do you keep saying that lately? What exactly is it that you want from me, Alice?"

Alice continued to smile happily. "I haven't decided yet. Rest assured though, it's going to be _big_." She laughed at the expression on his face, and relieved that the small crisis was over, I began to chuckle too.

Almost as soon as she'd started to laugh though, Alice stopped abruptly. Her face went blank and smooth, and Edward shot me a slightly alarmed look. Automatically, I jumped off the table and he was at my side, putting an arm around me as he turned back to her.

"Alice, what is it?" I burst out, my heart pounding. There were so many things that could go wrong in these last weeks that I would be the Cullens' weak spot, possibilities like the Volturi returning prematurely or the werewolves declaring war over my impending human demise...what bomb was the universe dropping on us now?

"Carlisle." Alice said abruptly, cutting off my chain of thought. "He's almost here, and he's not alone. We need to go inside." She snatched up Mr. Giggles and was gone. Edward and I hurried after her at my much slower human pace. By the time we reached the massive living room, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were all standing at attention, staring at the front door.

"Bella, Edward, we need towels, lots of them! Esme!" I heard Alice call from somewhere upstairs. A second later she reappeared, holding a stack of clothes in her hand. Esme was right behind her and the two of them zipped down the stairs.

Although I didn't understand at all what was happening, I followed Edward as he rushed into the downstairs bathroom and began filling my outstretched arms with enormous, fluffy white bath towels. "Edward, what is it? What's happening?"

Edward turned to look at me and his mouth lifted into a slight smile, reassuring me and temporarily stopping my heart before he answered, saying what I least expected to hear. "Elisa's back."

_**Edward**_

The dismal creature Carlisle half-dragged, half-carried into the living room bore almost no resemblance to the lively girl my brothers and I had encountered back in the forest just days ago. True, she had been in a similiarly bedraggled state then, but her green eyes had been full of humor and high spirits, her face vivid and eager to take in everything around her despite the seriousness of the situation she'd been in. Now her face was pallid and hopeless, eyes dull, lips blue with cold as she shook violently and tears streaked down her face.

Her scent had slammed into all of us, with the exception of my Bella, as soon as Carlisle had opened the door, and I saw Jasper twitch slightly out of the corner of my eye as he was overwhelmed with a new and intriguing temptation. Elisa's blood scent was so different from Bella's, which he had gradually grown accustomed to. "Jasper-" I began, intending to suggest that he make himself scarce for a while but he gave me a determined look.

'_I can handle it, Edward. If it gets to be too much, I'll leave_.' He thought, and I nodded. Jasper had made amazing strides since he'd accepted Bella into our lives, and I wasn't going to insult him by doubting his hard-won self control now. Besides, we were going to need him. There was no protective shield blocking Elisa's thoughts from me now. The images rushing through her head would have been perfectly clear to me if I'd been able to make sense of them-all I could glean for certain was that she was frantically trying to deny to herself where she was...the desperation and panic I was getting from her was making me feel slightly sick. I could tell by the gray cast to Jasper's complexion that he was being simliarly assaulted by her chaotic emotions. His eyes closed as he struggled to regain control over the situation, and the calming vibes washed over all of us.

Esme had already thrown a towel over Elisa's drenched hair and was wrapping another one around her shoulders. Elisa's trembling had slowed as she warmed, and her tears had stopped as Jasper's influence had worked its will on her, but her face was still lifeless. I turned to Carlisle. "What happened? Why is she here?"

Carlisle shook his head. "I don't know. She's in shock...she wasn't able to speak to me."

Esme stared at Carlisle's over Elisa's shoulder. "She...she's different. I can smell her so clearly...not like before. She smells just like-" Her voice broke off.

"Like any other human. Like she belongs here." Emmett's voice was quiet. Rosalie was standing beside him, her face impassive as she stared at Elisa. Emmett's face, on the other hand, was clearly worried, despite the cheerful grin he tried to plaster on as Elisa's eyes slowly turned towards him. "Hey ya, kid. Welcome back."

She didn't answer. Her eyes dropped back to the carpet and she continued to stare blankly at the floor. Esme put her arm around her and gently guided Elisa to an overstuffed chair in the corner that was already covered in towels to protect it from her dripping clothes. "Sit down, sweetheart, and tell us what happened."

Elisa sat, but no words were forthcoming. Both Esme and Carlisle knelt next to her, murmuring reassuringly, but there was no response. Carlisle looked up at me, his eyes frustrated. "Edward, Jasper, a bit of help if you don't mind."

Bella made to step back as I moved, but I tightened my arm around her and brought her forward with me as Jasper and I approached. More waves of relaxation washed over us and Elisa sagged slightly in the chair.

"Elisa, I want you to clear your mind." Carlisle was telling her quietly. "If it's too hard to tell us, just remember. Let Edward speak for you."

Elisa's eyes were mutinous for a moment, but she was unable to resist the lull of Carlisle's voice, or Jasper's effect on her. Her eyes slowly closed.

Immediately, I saw a restaurant-no, an ice cream shop, appear behind her closed eyelids. A man across the table from her, laughing. The resemblance between them was minor, but it was there...it must be her father. Then the picture changed to reflect her own thoughts at the time, merry, joyful thoughts...there was a baby coming. Her father loved her. She was happy, safe, secure. The scene changed again and we were in another shop. Her father was gone. An older woman was telling her stories in a crowded stockroom, making her laugh. Abruptly, the laughter was gone. Elisa was crouched against the wall, cell phone clutched in her hand, tears falling as she listened to the violence in the other room. I could plainly feel her terror, not for herself, but for her friend. Another shift, and she was running now, into the main room of the shop, ready to battle for the older woman's life. The gun was raised...there was an explosion-

"No!" The word burst from my lips before I could stop it, and I shook my head in disgust, both at myself for losing control like that and for what I had just witnessed through her eyes. Sometimes I felt like I could truly grow to despise the human race. We, as vampires, killed to survive, or at least that was the theory-I had known many of us, like James, who tortured and killed for sport. But at least we had somewhat of an excuse. The agonies that human beings inflicted on each other, so many in the name of love when it was really no more than the most selfish of greed, the need to control and possess...it was sickening.

"Edward!" Bella's voice was alarmed as she stared up at me and the darkness in my eyes. "What is it?"

I could see Carlisle and Esme waiting for me to speak as well. I braced myself for the impact of the news I had no choice but to tell. "I saw what happened to Elisa. She was in some kind of New Age store with an older woman. The woman's son-in-law showed up looking for his ex-wife. Things got violent. Elisa tried to intervene." I closed my eyes. "He shot her."

Gasps rang out through the room. Both Esme and Bella were covering their mouths in an attempt to hide their horrified expressions, but the tears swimming in Bella's eyes gave her away. She swayed into my arms. "Does that mean...she's dead?" The minute the words were out of her mouth she bit her lip and shot Elisa an anxious look. Bella's self-directed anger at her slip was pointless. Despite Elisa's shock and denial, the girl knew-had known from the minute she found herself on the downtown Forks street corner in the pouring rain-what had happened. There had been no comforting amnesia this time to soften the blow.

Esme was huddled next to Elisa on the chair now, wrapping her arms around her shoulder. "Carlisle, is it like before? She's hurt, but not...she can't be gone, can she?"

Carlisle's eyes met hers, and they were bleak. "Esme, I don't want it to be true but I just don't know why else she would be here."

Next to me, Jasper's hands were balled into fists as he struggled to control both his and our emotions. In less than a second, Alice was there, gently worming a small palm into one of his clenched hands. He relaxed and entwined his fingers with hers. I looked across the room. Emmett looked sick, but not surprised, and I realized that he had known there was no hope from the moment Carlisle brought Elisa home. Next to him, Rosalie's face was emotionless, but her eyes and her thoughts burned.

Esme's lips were trembling, but she struggled to maintain her composure as she stood. "Sweetheart, we have some dry clothes for you. Let me help you change."

For a minute Elisa stayed in her statuelike position, then her head slowly lifted. Her eyes fastened onto Carlisle's, ignoring Esme's outstretched hand. "Send me back." Her voice was flat, but ragged.

"Elisa-" Carlisle began. Her eyes blazed as they looked into his and he stopped speaking.

"Like you did before. Help me go home. _Please_." The desperation was starting to break through the eerie calm on her face.

"Maybe you should try, Carlisle." Esme clearly couldn't stand what was happening. Like all of us, she was clinging to the tiniest bit of hope that there was some way to help Elisa escape this nightmare.

Carlisle broke at the combined pressure from the two of them. I could tell by his face that he knew it was useless, but he nodded at me and Jasper, and we gathered close to the chair as Carlisle resumed his kneeling position in front of Elisa, whispering the words to make her lean back, eyes closed, as she attempted to claw her way out of our world and back to her own.

It was as disappointing -more so- then we'd feared. I stayed in Elisa's mind as she attempted to go under, and there was nothing...no long fall into blackness like there had been before, no voices calling her home, just dim awareness of Carlisle's voice, and then, as she resurfaced and realized she was still here, the rawest pain. The link to her world had been severed-there was no longer any doubt.

"No!" Her voice was shrill and hysterical now, and Jasper re-doubled his efforts to calm her. "No, I can't be stuck here! They're waiting for me, my mom and Dad...Colby..." Her voice was slowing now. "My mom's having a baby...everything's perfect. I can't be late...I have to go...please, let me go..." Her words were slurred now, her head falling back as forced relaxation and exhaustion overtook her. Her eyes were nearly shut when suddenly they sprang open again. She was fighting now, struggling against us and our efforts to calm her. "No! NO! I won't sleep...I'm not dead! I beat this before...I can't be dead! It will hurt my family so much...please don't make me do this to them! I want to go home! And Nancy-I have to help Nancy!" Her screams were truly agonizing to hear.

She was on her feet now, pushing desperately at Esme, who was holding her in a gentle but steel-like grip. "It's OK, Elisa! Please, sweetheart, I promise you that everything will be OK."

"Stop it!" All of us turned to stare as Rosalie suddenly pushed her way forward, speaking for the first time since Carlisle and Elisa had arrived. "Stop coddling her, Esme. Don't lie to her. She knows the truth-you're just making it worse!"

Elisa turned away from Esme's motherly hands and looked at Rosalie, her face wet with tears.

Rosalie stared back, unblinking, into Elisa's green eyes. "You're dead to them, Elisa. You can't ever go back." She ignored Elisa's renewed sobs. "You may think I'm cruel for saying this, but one thing I will never do is lie to you. What's happened is not fair. Death never is. It doesn't care if you're young, if you've cheated it before, if you don't deserve it, if it will destroy those you love. It just comes, and it takes you and there is no amount of tears or pity that can change that. You have to face it, and accept it. I am not saying that you don't deserve our compassion, but what's happened to you has happened to almost every single one of us. We've lost everything and everyone we ever loved in our old lives, and yet somehow, we go on. You will too. At least you still have your humanity. That may not seem like much of a gift to you now, but believe me, it is. Appreciate it."

Elisa was still sobbing, but more quietly now. I saw Carlisle nod to Jasper, and an instant later Elisa had collapsed into Esme's arms, her lips moving in a near silent protest before sleep finally claimed her. Esme lifted her effortlessly. "Alice, may I put her in your room?"

Alice nodded instantly. "Of course. I'll go with you; help you dress her in something dry so she won't wake up completely miserable." She sighed as her words came back to haunt her. "That was a stupid thing to say." She shook her head and then she and Esme were gone, taking Elisa with them.

I turned my concern to Bella, who was trembling at my side. The instant I caught her warm brown eyes with my own the tears overflowed, and she leaned forward, sobbing against my chest as I stroked her hair gently, feeling helpless to comfort her, knowing there was nothing I could say to make the brutal reality of what happened to Elisa any kinder.

"Are you crying, Bella?" My head snapped up and I glared at Rosalie. I hadn't heard speak in that icy, glacial tone to Bella in months, and she knew this wasn't the time. Her eyes stared back into mine, refusing to back down, and then she returned her attention to Bella, speaking once more. "Do you think it's sad that poor Elisa will never see her mother and father or little brother again? That she'll never hold the baby her mother is carrying in her arms? That everything she's ever known and loved has been ripped away from her? I know how that feels. So does Edward, and Jasper, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle...even Alice, to a degree. You know our stories and you know our pain and yet here you stand, thinking that what was torn from us you can give away so easily, just dance along into immortality with no regrets. You arrogant, selfish brat...you have no idea what you're doing."

Bella gasped, pulling back and pressing into me at Rosalie's words. Her frame was shaking harder than ever. "I don't think it will be easy-" she started to protest, her voice torn between tears and defensiveness. I snarled at Rosalie, warning her to back off as she opened her mouth to interrupt once more.

"I don't want to hear your pretty excuses, Bella. I'm going outside-I need some air." She turned on her heel and she was gone, leaving me glowering after her. Damn Rosalie and her viper's tongue...no one could pour salt into a wound like she could, and I was furious that she'd chosen to strike out at Bella when she was most vulnerable.

Emmett tossed me an apologetic look and then he was gone too, running after Rosalie. I turned back to Bella, taking her face gently in my hands so I could stare into her eyes, wincing internally as I registered the pain on her face. "Don't listen to her, Bella. She doesn't understand you the way she thinks she does."

"Doesn't she, Edward?" Bella pulled away, and as much as it hurt to let her go, I allowed it as she continued to speak. "I _am_ selfish, I know that. I'll do anything to stay with you forever, no matter what the cost, no matter who it hurts. What kind of person does that make me?"

"No-" I began to object but Bella put a finger over my lips, silencing me. "Edward, I need to..." She looked towards the staircase and then back. "I need to be alone for a little while. I have to think."

As the anxiety that I was unable to disguise flared in my eyes, she saw it and her own face softened in concern. "Please don't look like that. It doesn't mean anything more than the fact that I need a little time to process everything. Come to me later...I'll leave the window open." With a half-hearted smile, she backed away, then turned towards the door. I watched her go with frustration building in my chest. Everything had been going so well lately-we'd made our decisions and our plans, put the doubts behind us, and Rosalie had to go and stir the pot once more. Whether Emmett objected or not, I was definitely going to have a talk with my meddlesome, bitter sister about sticking her nose into what didn't concern her, and exactly what I planned to do next time she tried it.

Bella turned back when she was almost at the door. "If Elisa wakes up earlier than expected, call me. I'll come back." She looked at me, her eyes filled with a million emotions that it was beyond frustrating to not be able to understand. "I love you."

"I love you, Bella. Always." My voice was hoarse, and Bella closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and smiled at me. With one quiet click of the front door opening, she was gone.

_**Elisa**_

Any concept of time I'd ever possessed had abandoned me as I lay there, in a strange bed, drifting, dreaming, drowning in peaceful oblivion. My deep, seemingly endless stupor was not without interruptions...somewhere beyond the darkness I was dimly aware that I was never alone. Hands-usually cool, but there was an occasional warm pair that could only belong to Bella-stroked my face, held my hands when I screamed, held cool cloths to my burning skin and wiped away the seemingly endless tears. Occasionally those hands were firmer, forcing me to sit up, drink cool water that still burned as it slid down my throat, or warm soup that I could only accept a few bites of. When I was most aware, I was led to the bathroom, or helped to change my sweat-drenched clothes, but then painful realizations would stab me, and the screaming would begin again, until waves of calm forced me under once more.

My sense of self-awareness came back slowly, unwillingly, to me now. I didn't want it...I wanted to disappear again into the black waves where pain and loss didn't exist, but there was a sound, an insistent, familiar sound that wouldn't allow me to float away. Bit by bit, I was forced to accept that I was awake. I opened my eyes, and the sight of the strange bedroom stung my eyes. I would have shut them immediately, but the sound came again.

_Miaaaaow...miaaaow? _

The cry was desperate, almost pleading, and despite myself, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. "Snickers?" I said stupidly and then was instantly furious with myself. Of course it wasn't Snickers. What a stupid little girl I was, still hoping for a miracle when I was trapped in a universe that had proven to me what an idiotic concept miracles really were.

_Miaow_? The cry was hopeful now, rising in volume now that it had been meant with a response. I looked for the source and saw it after a moment of searching. A large, brown and gray stripped tabby with long, fluffy fur, was standing in the open door of the bedroom, staring at me with bright, glinting eyes. As I looked at it, it opened its mouth and yowled. I knew that cry. It was hungry. In fact, a person less familiar with cats might have even thought it was starving, but I was well experienced with the dramatic shows most cats put on when they had gone more than a couple of hours without food. I stood up, testing my legs to make sure they would hold me, then stumbled to the doorway. The cat backed up slightly, and I stilled. Hesitantly, it sniffed the air, then came nearer, finally bumping against my leg, then nuzzling it hopefully. I knelt down, running my fingers through its soft fur, feeling the purr that came in response.

"Elisa?" My head jerked up at the sound of my name, and the cat froze, then hissed, cringing away from the interloper. I looked up into Esme's concerned face and she smiled at me. "It's so good to see you awake! I'm sorry I left you alone...I meant to only be gone a few minutes."

"It's OK." I whispered, my voice sounding strange, like I hadn't used it in a long time. "H-how long has it been?"

Esme hesitated before answering. "Two days."

I closed my eyes for a moment, digesting that, and then opened them again. "Do you have any cat food?"

Esme looked surprised for a minute, then she looked at the cat. It hissed at her again. "I see you've met our other houseguest, Mr. Giggles. Would you like to feed him?"

I nodded and she smiled more widely. "Follow me. It's best if you take him, if you don't mind. He doesn't like me."

"Why?" I asked, as I cautiously gathered Mr. Giggles into my arms. He stiffened for a moment, then relaxed against my chest as I rubbed his head, and I decided it was safe to move without being shredded. Esme led the way and I followed her down the gigantic staircase, through the empty main room, and into the kitchen.

Esme answered my question as she opened a cupboard, pulling out a large bag of cat food and then a porcelain bowl. She pushed them across the counter to me, and I set Mr. Giggles down. He was crying loudly now that he sensed food was imminent, winding around my ankles as I opened the bag and poured the food into a bowl. "It's instinctive on his part. Animals are aware that we're not human-they react to it."

"I see." I nodded as I set the bowl down. Mr. Giggles rushed to it as if he hadn't seen food in years and began to eat noisily, scattering pellets across the spotless floor. Next to me, Esme handed me a fresh bowl of water and I set it down next to the food bowl, and then looked up to see her surveying me carefully.

"How are you feeling, Elisa?" Her voice was careful.

I didn't want to answer that. I stared out the kitchen window for a moment. The rain had apparently cleared...the sky was overcast, but here and there rays broke through the clouds, illuminating the brilliant green of the majestic lawn outside. After a moment of silence, I turned back to Esme.

"What's going to happen to me?" My voice had been reduced to a jagged whisper once more.

"You'll stay here, with us." Her response was immediate. "We'll take care of you." Despite the certainty in her voice, I wondered if the rest of the family was in agreement. I remembered when I had nearly been stuck here before, the reluctance I'd seen on their faces when it became clear that I might be staying. My heart clenched, and my stomach rolled. I had never felt so alone in my life. I was nothing more than an unwanted intruder in their world.

Esme watched the play of emotions across my face and her own became concerned. I could see the effort to keep her voice normal, matter of fact, as she began to speak once more. "Bella has been cooking for you. I have a freezer full of pastas and casseroles, and the refrigerator is stocked as well. Let me get you something to eat. What would you like?"

My voice was flat as I turned away. "I'm not hungry."

Esme's voice was clearly worried now. "Elisa, you've had hardly anything for two days. You need to eat something."

I ignored her, staring blankly out the window once more. She needed to leave me alone. What did I or anyone care if I starved to death? I was dead anyway. My being here was just some colossal mistake on the part of the universe, and the sooner it was corrected, the better. I wasn't supposed to be walking, talking, breathing...I should be in the ground where I belonged.

Esme was trying to speak to me again but suddenly there was movement and we were no longer alone. Edward stood there next to her, looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Esme, I'm sorry to interrupt but may I have a moment with Elisa?" His voice was gentle.

Esme paused for a moment, then nodded. "I'll be in the next room." She gave me a small smile, and then left the room.

I didn't want to look at Edward, but he moved so that he was looking directly in my face, capturing my eyes with his own and refusing to release them. "Welcome back to the world of the living, Elisa."

"That's not funny." I hissed, glaring at him.

"It wasn't meant to be." He said, his calm infuriating. He was quiet for a moment, then spoke again. "Elisa, I can't tell you how sorry I am that this happened to you."

"Spare me." I snapped. My voice was bitter.

"No." Edward's voice was firmer now. "I won't spare you, and I won't hold your hand while you try to drown in your own self-pity. What happened to you was horrendous, and you have every right to be angry and to hurt as much as you do. I understand that better than you know. What I won't accept is the way you're just giving up. You have been given an incredible opportunity-a second chance at life. I know it's not the way you wanted it, but it's yours. Take it, run with it, and _live_."

"Why me?" I whispered. Tears began to well in my eyes once more. "Why should I have this chance? What did I ever do to deserve it? I'm not special. I'm not good. Other people, much, much better people, they die every day and they don't come back. Why am I still here?"

Edward shook his head. "Why are any of us? Did you think I was a candidate for sainthood in my mortal life? Hardly. All of us were just ordinary people. Why fate chose us to continue on, I'll never know, but it did. There were times I railed against it as violently as you are now, but I see so much more now...not the end, not the ultimate truth, but slowly, when I've least expected it, I've been given more pieces of the puzzle. I realize, more and more each day, that there is a method to the madness. Most of all, I know that there are reasons to fight, to go on, to hope, to love. It won't be easy but you'll find your way, Elisa. I promise you that."

The tears-did they never dry?-were trickling down my face now, and suddenly Esme was back, at my side with her hand on my shoulder. She gave Edward a stern look. "Please don't upset her any more, Edward. How much can one person take?"

"No, it's OK." I forced myself to smile weakly as I brushed the tears away. "I..." I looked down at the rumpled sweats I was wearing and suddenly felt self-conscious. I had to be a mess, and after two days I probably didn't smell that good either. "Is it alright if I go back upstairs and clean up?"

Esme nodded, her face clearing. "Of course, Elisa. Alice brought you a few outfits. They're hanging in her bathroom closet. It's not much. She wanted to wait until you're feeling better to take you on a proper shopping trip. And while you shower, I can heat you up something to eat. How does that sound?"

My stomach jumped uncomfortably again at the idea of food, but I made myself nod. "That sounds good. I'll be right back." I left the room without saying anything to Edward, but I knew I didn't need to. He understood what I couldn't put into words, probably better than I did myself.

After I had showered, dressed, and brushed my tangled hair into submission, I went back downstairs again. I could hear distant voices and knew the rest of the family was around, but the main room was empty once more as I made my way through it, following the food smells back to the kitchen. Esme was waiting for me.

"I hope you like lasagna." Her voice was hopeful, and I smiled at her. She had a plate waiting for me at the kitchen counter, and I made my way over to the tall stool in front of it and climbed on it.

"I do." I assured her.

Despite my best intentions, eating was not easy, and I could only make it through half the plate before my stomach refused to accept any more. I felt guilty as Esme clucked over the large amount that I had left, but then Carlisle was there, appearing, as they all did, seemingly out of thin air.

"This is fine, Esme." He reassured her, smiling over her head at me. "Just offer her smaller meals throughout the day and have her eat what she can. Her appetite will return eventually. Please try to finish your milk though, Elisa. I think you're a bit dehydrated."

Obediently, I drank the half full glass and then reached for my plate to put it in the sink. It was already gone though when I looked for it. I blinked, and Esme smiled at me. "Don't worry about anything, Elisa. Just try to relax." With a tilt of her head, she indicated the main room. "Why don't you go find something to do? We have television, books, games...if you're bored, I'm sure Emmett would be happy to help entertain you. The rest of them are around here somewhere...I think Bella and Edward are in the library if you want to go find them."

I nodded slowly, intending to go to the living room and turn on the television, lose myself in some mindless tv drama instead of intruding any more, but as I walked into the cavernous room, my attention was caught by the sound of soft voices coming from a narrow hallway. Bella and Edward...I knew I shouldn't bother them, but somehow my feet were already taking me in their direction. I walked into the dim hallway, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the lack of lighting here, then moved forward until I saw them through the open doorway. They sat, pressed together on a narrow loveseat in a room crowded from floor to ceiling with books. Their hands were clasped around each other's, the fingers entwined, and their heads were angled toward each other as they leaned so close that they might have been one person.

I was about to turn back, not wanting to interrupt, when the words Bella spoke caught my attention.

"How is she, Edward?" Her voice was a low whisper.

He sighed. "Not well. But where there's life, there's hope...it's going to be a difficult time, but I think she's made of strong material. We'll just have to try and be there for her, as much as we can be, while she gets her bearings."

Bella sighed. "I can't imagine..." she paused for a moment, and then her voice suddenly became hard, surprising me. "But I guess I'll have to soon, won't I? Because it won't be long until it's my turn, except that I'll be losing my family out of my own free will."

Edward closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again, his face stark. "It doesn't have to be that way, Bella. If you've changed your mind..."

"No!" Her voice was frustrated. "I haven't changed my mind, Edward. You know why I've chosen what I have. I just have to accept the truth about myself, what it truly says about the type of person I am."

Edward's voice was anguished now. "Bella, you can't possibly believe that-"

Bella held up a hand to stop him. "Please don't, Edward." Both of them fell silent, the quiet miserable.

Finally, Bella spoke again. "About Elisa..." Her voice was hesitant, then she turned in the seat slightly so she could look directly into his eyes. "You're right. She's going to need all of us while she tries to accept everything that's happened to her." Her voice dropped to a whisper once more. "Edward, we have to postpone the wedding."

The pain on Edward's face tore at my heart now as he registered her words. I could see how much it hurt her as well. I thought he would object, but he nodded, slowly and resignedly. "I know."

Bella leaned into him. "Please don't think I'm making excuses, or that I'm relieved, Edward. This pushes everything back for us, but it's the right thing to do."

Edward opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly he went rigid, his head snapping around. His eyes met mine, cornering me where I stood, and Bella followed his gaze, gasping softly as she saw me there.

"Elisa!"

"No!" My voice was louder than hers, and she instantly quieted. "You can't do this! You can't postpone the wedding!" In a moment they were at my side, speaking reassurances that I didn't want. I pushed Bella's comforting hands away, my voice growing louder despite my efforts to stay calm. "Please, listen to me! I don't want you to do this! You have to get married! I've gotten in your way enough already...I won't stop your wedding too! _Please_!"

"Elisa, calm down. Bella and I are still getting married. A few months won't make a difference." Edward's voice was quiet and calm.

I could not be soothed. My voice was louder than ever as my thin layer of self-control began to snap, and suddenly more figures were filling the hallway, Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Alice Emmett, and Rosalie, summoned by my ever more hysterical words.

I turned to the person I thought could help the most. "Alice, tell them! Tell them they can't throw away all of your hard work, that they have to get married just like you planned! Please tell them!"

Alice shook her head, her face sad, but resigned. "I understand their reasoning, Elisa. Everything will be fine. It's just a few more months, like Edward said."

"No, it's not!" My voice was raising to a scream. "It's not fine, it's not alright! Everything is just misery, and confusion, and pain, and death and this is the only thing in this world that makes sense to me!" I turned to Edward and Bella. "I already pulled you apart once. Don't let me do it again!"

Esme pushed her way past everyone in the hallway and put her motherly arms around my shoulder. "Elisa, you're overwrought. Let's get you upstairs so that you can rest."

"Not until they tell me that they're still getting married just like they're supposed to!" I dug my feet into the ground determinedly, and then turned back to Alice. "I can help you, Alice. I'll do anything you want...address invitations, arrange flowers, make the food, I don't care. Just give me a job and I'll do it. It's better than just sitting around here like a useless waste of space. Please!"

Alice's face was doubtful now. Behind her, Carlisle looked thoughtful as he gazed at Edward and Bella.

"Elisa may just have a point, you two. Maybe going ahead with the wedding is just what all of us need. Life goes on, and Elisa is a part of ours now. If we stop everything on her behalf, she'll never adjust. Helping Alice with the wedding could be the best thing for her right now."

Bella looked at me. "Elisa, are you sure?"

I nodded, wiping away the stray tears that had leaked from my eyes. "Absolutely."

Bella looked at Edward now and smiled tremulously, tears shining in her own eyes. "I guess we're getting married."

Edward's answering smile was like a beam of light in the dark hallway, and then his eyes reached my face. "Thank you, Elisa."

I shook my head. "No...thank _you_." I turned to Alice. "What do you want me to start with?"

Alice laughed now, the tension broken. "And I thought I was eager...thank you, Elisa, but what I want you to do right now is rest. You're shaking. Tomorrow will be soon enough. Don't worry...I have tons for you to do."

Defeated, I let Esme lead me back upstairs to Alice's room, realizing as I went that I really was exhausted, so much so that I felt dizzy. Jasper had dosed me with uber relaxation vibes downstairs, and I felt them working as we walked, causing me to stumble as I reached the room. Esme helped me into the striped pink pajamas Alice had bought for me, then tucked me into the comfortable, king-sized bed. She sat with me for several minutes as I allowed my eyes to close and my breathing slow. I kept my eyes peacefully closed as I heard her quietly creep out of the room. I didn't open them until I was sure she wasn't coming right back. Then I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed, and walked to the large window.

It was amazing, the difference in the sky here. It was dark now, but the clouds had scattered, and the stars were brilliantly scattered diamonds gleaming in the black sky, so much brighter and distinct than I'd ever seen them in San Diego. The moon hung low tonight, full, round, and brilliant...more incandescent than ever, yet the same as the moon I'd been fascinated by every night since I'd been a child. Standing here, surrounded by the universe's greatest majesty, I could not recall my bitterness, although the pain was still crushing. The moon that looked over me was the same moon that my family saw when they looked into the sky. I had to believe that. We'd been separated by destiny, but the bonds between us, the love, that would always hold us together. I wished I could tell them that, that I could reach out and touch them and let them know that I was going to be alright, that it hadn't hurt, that I had no regrets about how things had been between us. Most of all, I wished I could tell my father what was keeping my heart beating, what would make me continue to fight.

That no matter how it had ended, it had still been the best day ever.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_In Chapter Three, __**Choices**__, the Cullens debate Elisa's future. Meanwhile, tensions are on the rise with the werewolves due to Elisa's presence, and she finds herself with a difficult decision to make._

Thank you so much for reading this. This chapter was so hard to write, and I would sincerely love your feedback.


	3. Choices

**Welcome to chapter three of my Twilight fanfic, Evening Falls. Thank you all SO much for your comments on the last chapter!**

**EVENING FALLS**

Chapter Three: Choices

_'here's where I stand, here's who I am...'_

Absently, I stirred the the contents of the bowl Esme had set before me, occasionally fishing a piece of fruit out of the yogurt and forcing myself to swallow it, despite the fact that my stomach was as unwilling to accept food as it had been the day before. Every few minutes, I surreptitiously raised my eyes to look over my shoulder at Carlisle, who I could clearly see through the open doorway to the dining room. Each time I looked at him, he was still seated at the dining room table, seemingly absorbed in his paper, but I was positive that whenever I looked away, he was watching me. Probably waiting for the signs of my inevitable, irreversible mental breakdown. I couldn't really blame him for being concerned.

I was trying as hard as I could to hold myself together, but I'd woken up screaming twice the night before. It was almost too strange to realize that I'd once loved to sleep, and to dream. I thought of the nights I'd rushed to my room to lose myself in a book before drifting off, and all those weekend and summer mornings where I did nothing more than snuggle inside my warm sheets, perfectly content to stay in my nocturnal world for as long as possible. It seemed like a lifetime ago, which of course, it really was.

Esme walked past me with a fresh bowl of water for Mr. Giggles. He was right behind her as she set it down. She reached a tentative hand towards him, testing the waters, but her attempts at peace-making were useless. Mr. Giggles hissed, then sprang, obviously having no problem whatsoever with biting the hand that fed him. Esme grimaced slightly, unhurt but offended, as she stood up and reached for his cat food.

"I'll do that, Esme." I chirped, sliding off the kitchen stool and coming over to take the bag from her hand.

Esme was not fooled by my light tone. Her eyebrows raised. "Is that your way of saying that you're done eating?" She asked, looking at my still half full bowl on the counter.

I smiled apologetically and she smiled back. "It's alright. We'll just keep trying." For a moment she was quiet as she watched me fill Mr. Giggles' bowl, then kneel down to stroke his fur as he ate hungrily. When she spoke again, her voice was hesitant. "Mrs. Haversham called this morning. She thinks she'll be able to pick up Mr. Giggles in a day or two. She and her husband are negotiating to buy the Marshes' property. The Marshes are moving to Florida-they think the climate will be better for their birds."

For a moment I was still, thinking about how soon I'd lose my feline companion. A small lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed it away impatiently. It was better for Mr. Giggles-despite being completely spoiled by his reluctant caretakers, he hated it here. I was the only person in the house he could tolerate. He didn't even like Bella, but that was probably because she didn't seem too fond of him, either. Scratching him under the chin, I looked up at Esme. "That's good. He'll be happier at home. It's for the best."

Esme looked sad for me, but she nodded. "Mrs. Haversham also asked about you. She's been very worried."

"She's not the only one." I jumped as Carlisle's voice sounded next to me. I hadn't even heard him come into the kitchen. "Mrs. Haversham was not discreet about her encounter with you the other day. The whole town knows you're here. I had to come up with a convincing cover story. "

He looked at me carefully. "Everyone believes that your family was killed in a car accident a little over a month ago. I told them that you'd been sent to live with some of your mother's relatives, but you were unhappy and ran away, and now I'm taking over your guardianship. I think all of Forks is heartbroken on your behalf. You should see what people have sent over to the hospital for me to take home to you...you have a very large collection of stuffed animals, not to mention the flowers and candy. I'll have to try to get it all in the car tonight."

I tried to push away the pain that ripped through me at the mention of my family, forcing myself to concentrate only on the rest of his sentence. "That's um...really nice of them." I mumbled.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, then Esme broke it. "Elisa, please sit back down and at least finish your juice." She urged me, her eyes anxious. Obediently I went back to the counter and forced myself to sip at the tall glass of orange juice she offered me. As I drank, Esme and Carlisle disappeared back into the next room, probably to talk about me where I couldn't overhear. I sighed.

My feet kicked the stool lightly as I swung them back and forth, anxious for another distraction. Alice and Bella were upstairs, going over last minutes details for the bridemaids' gowns, but Alice had promised she'd bring down the invitations for me to begin addressing soon. It was the perfect job for me, mindless, repetitive and not too demanding...it should be easy to lose myself in the work and daydreams of Edward and Bella's wedding day. I hoped there was a lot of them for me to do.

My attention was suddenly caught by a strange sound...the noise of a low growl just outside the kitchen doorway. I jumped, looking for the source, but the sound was too playful for me to be very frightened. "Emmett?" I looked around, but the doorway was empty.

The growl sounded again and then suddenly a giant, brown stuffed bear filled the doorway, Emmett holding it so that the top half obscured his face and chest. "Remember me, Elisa?" He spoke in a laughing snarl. "I've come to finish what I started back in the forest!"

Unable to help myself, I began to giggle. The sound felt strange, almost blasphemous, but I laughed anyway as Emmett lowered the bear to reveal his large grin. "So do you like it?" He asked as he entered the room and offered the bear to me.

"I love it!" I announced, hugging the bear to my chest.

To my surprise, Rosalie was right behind Emmett, following him into the room. He turned to her, still smiling. "See, angel? I told you she wouldn't be scared. This kid is tougher than she looks."

Hesitantly I looked at Rosalie, and the look on her face surprised me. I thought I'd see her usually chilly expression, perhaps even anger or hostility, but instead she was looking at me apprehensively, almost nervously, as if she expected me to lash out at her in some way. Bewildered, I gave her a small smile, and for a moment she looked stunned before her face went impassive once more.

"Good morning, Elisa." Her voice was careful.

"Good morning, Rosalie." My response was just as cautious.

The awkward silence didn't last for long. Several sets of footprints sounded, and Bella and Edward came into the kitchen, followed closely by Alice and Jasper.

"Here you go!" Alice announced as I looked at her hopefully. She handed me a small box filled to the brim with invitations, a roll of stamps, and a computer print out. "The invitations and the name and address list. Feel free to make yourself useful."

I beamed at her as I carried my bounty from the kitchen counter to the dining room table, where I could spread out a bit. "Thanks, Alice! Do you have a-" My words were cut off as Edward handed me a shiny, ball point pen. Mind readers...could they never let a person finish a sentence?

"Thank you." I said and he smiled at me.

"Are you sure you want to get into the middle of this, Elisa? Alice wasn't kidding when she said there was a lot to do...she'll run you ragged if you let her."

That was exactly what I wanted. Anything to keep my mind busy enough to not go over and over all the agonizing memories that pierced my soul. I knew thinking this was enough of an answer for him, and I didn't reply. He nodded his head just a tiny bit, to let me know he understood.

Everyone had followed the three of us into the dining room, and they gathered around as I opened the box of invitations, then carefully spread out the address sheet, prepared to get right to work. I looked up at Bella and smiled at her as I uncapped the pen. "I'm sorry about my temper tantrum last night." I told her as she watched me begin to write. "I didn't mean to get so upset, but I am really glad you and Edward didn't have to postpone the wedding again. You've waited so long already."

Bella's answering smile faded into a look of confusion. "Again? What do you mean?"

I shrugged as I double checked the spelling of the name on the first invitation. "You know...I thought you would have been married and off in Alaska or wherever by now. What happened to put it off for so long, anyway?" I remembered something that Mrs. Haversham had said on the day that I'd...I cut myself off before I could think the word. The day that I had come back to Forks, I amended to myself, and then looked up at Bella and Edward with wide eyes. "It's June _again_? You had to wait a whole year? Why?"

Everyone was staring at me with familiar, bewildered expressions on their face, and I started to tense. What had I said now?

"Elisa..." Edward stared at me. "What in the world makes you think a year has passed since you've seen us?"

He could hear the answer in my thoughts before I spoke, and his eyes widened. "I don't believe it." He stared at me, his eyes taking every inch of me in like he'd never seen me before, and they got even wider. "I truly don't believe it."

"What?" Several voices demanded at once.

Edward turned to face the rest of the group. "Look at her." He demanded. "Really look. I should have noticed before, but with everything else..." He gazed at me again and then turned back. "She's older. The change in height is small, but it's there. Her hair is longer...her body is different. Time has passed for her...far more time than has passed for us."

I dropped my pen as I stared back at him. "What are you talking about? Time _has_ passed...it's been months!" I looked at their stunned expressions and gasped. "It hasn't? How long has it been for you since I was here?" I demanded.

Bella shook her head. "Elisa, it hasn't been months. You were here...what, a week ago?" She looked at Edward for confirmation

"Eleven days today." He corrected. Behind him, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice all nodded, still staring at me.

I stared back as the pen fell from my lifeless fingers and rolled on the table. What was going on? Just when I was starting to feel the slightest bit at ease, everything got weird again. Why did this keep happening?

"How long has it been for you, Elisa?" Carlisle asked, and I jumped a mile again at his presence. I hadn't noticed that he and Esme were there.

I moistened my lips before I answered. "About six months." My voice was suddenly hoarse. "Everything's different then it was last time I was here. It's September back home. I recovered from my car accident, I'm a sophomore now, Colby turned twelve... My dad and I worked things out, I have new friends, I..." I couldn't continue. I stared back down at the tabletop.

"I'd wondered about your accident." Carlisle mused. "I had assumed you weren't hurt as badly as we feared...that you'd just suffered a period of unconciousness. I take it that wasn't the case."

I shook my head, and then detailed my multiple injuries, and the months that it took to recover from them. "It was horrible." I finished. "But better than being dead." My voice was bitter now and I felt ashamed of it. "Sorry." I mumbled sheepishly.

Carlisle shook his head. "You have nothing to apologize for, Elisa."

Esme was staring at him, along with everyone else. "Carlisle, what does this all mean?"

Carlisle shook his head, looking perturbed. "Again, I don't know. Why Elisa's here, why there is so much difference in the passage of time, all of it is a mystery to me." He sighed. "I can theorize all day...perhaps time simply moves differently in her reality. Perhaps she's here at this point because this is the time she wanted to come back to. I just don't know...I don't think we'll ever have the answers."

I wasn't paying attention any longer. I didn't want to think about it any more. Carlisle was right...we'd never know for sure. I was already close enough to crazy without letting all the unanswered questions swirl around in my head unchecked. I pulled the box of invitations back towards me, deliberately shutting out anything else as I began to write once more. I could feel several pairs of eyes watching me, gauging my reactions, but I ignored them.

Seeming to accept my clear dismissal, the room began to clear as one by one or two by two, they left. Emmett and Esme both patted my head before they walked out. I appreciated the kind gesture, but I was beginning to feel like someone's pet dog. The weight of their pity pressed in on me, and I hated it. Plus it made me feel guilty...none of this was their problem, and now they were stuck with me and all my weirdness.

I tried to force it all out of my mind, but unbidden, it crept back to the conversation I'd just had, and then before that, to my last trip to Forks and my accident. Would it have hurt less if I'd simply never woken up? If I'd never answered my parents' pleas, if I hadn't gone home? If I had known then what I knew now, that I only had months left to live regardless, would I have chosen differently when Esme asked me to stay?

The answer was immediate, springing to mind before I'd even finished forming the question. I would have gone back. There was no doubt...I would not trade the last six months I'd had with my family for any treasure in the universe. The thought that I could have missed a moment of it, that I would never have had that final perfect day with my father, made me dizzy. I couldn't have left things the way they were. It would have made everything so much worse; there would have been so many regrets, so much left unsaid.

Still, it was horrible enough as it was. I tried not to think about it, but the images would not stop coming. How had they felt, my parents, when I didn't come home on time? Had they been worried or had they chalked it up to a return of my typical irresponsibility? And when the knock at the door came, when they saw the police there, how had they taken the news? I closed my eyes, seeing my mother fall to the floor, hearing her screams, the high-pitched sobs of my brother and the hoarser ones of my father. What had I done to them? We were supposed to be on vacation right now, celebrating the new life in our family, and instead, they must be planning my funeral.

And Nancy...had Nancy lived, or had Scott turned the gun on her next? If she survived, did she blame herself? I wanted so badly to tell her it wasn't her fault. She hadn't done anything wrong...all she'd wanted was to protect her daughter. She had tried to protect me as well. If I had just stayed hidden, I would still be alive.

And my friends, how had they taken the news? Were Michelle and Rae sorry that things had been so tense between us? I didn't want their regret either. Ever since my accident, we'd drifted apart, but we'd been friends since the sixth grade. I wanted them to remember the good times...there had been so many of them, all night gossip sessions, whispering about boys, shopping together, movies, dances... that's what I would hold on to, not the silly jealousy and pettiness that came later.

And what of everyone else? There were so many people my death would affect... I could see some of them so clearly, Mark and Vanessa, arms entwined around each other's black clad waists, tears mingling together as they watched my coffin being lowered into the ground. I'd probably be Vanessa's new cause now...I could see her making posters and t-shirts emblazoned with my face, so she could show people what a person who got caught in the crossfire looked like. She would not allow me to be forgotten. The thought was strangely comforting. Vanessa would make sure I hadn't died in vain...through her, maybe my death would save someone else.

Still, it wasn't enough...it would never be enough. The bitterness was back, the sheer unfairness of it all filling my chest and throat, suffocating me. I could feel the dampness on my face now as the tears slid out from under my closed eyelids, and I hurriedly pushed the invitations away before I could splot and ruin them. Impatiently, I wiped my eyes, forcing myself to take deep breaths, until I was positive I had myself under control. Then I pulled the invitations back towards me. I would think of nothing but each letter that I was writing, making sure each_ i _was dotted, each _e_ neatly written, every stroke perfection. As long as I had this, as long as there was one perfect, magical day in the future to look forward to, one day where goodness and love would win out over evil and justice, then there was hope. I would be able to believe in miracles once more...I would survive.

And with that thought fixed in my mind, I lowered my head and began to write once more.

_**Bella**_:

Edward had been very quiet since he'd escorted me out of the kitchen and outside, back to the covered patio where we'd been the day that Elisa had returned to us so unexpectedly. It was still unseasonably cold, but for once the sun was shining here and there, lighting up the ground in patches and providing a tiny bit of warmth where it landed. I inhaled, enjoying the fresh smells of the grass and trees. For the moment I was content to just lean against him, enjoying the quiet, no interruptions, no decisions to make, just the two of us, together. The way I wanted it to be, always.

Edward sighed, his hands tangling themselves in my hair, and I wondered suddenly if he was still upset about the other night. He'd tried to hide it, but when I'd asked him to give me some time to myself after the argument with Rosalie, it had hurt him. Our time together later on had been full of awkward silences and unasked questions. I knew he thought I was having doubts about our future, about my decision, about whether turning me immortal was the right thing to do. He was both right, and wrong. The wedding...well, that was always going to be a difficult one for me. I couldn't quite explain why myself-I knew my prejudice was silly, that it was such a little thing in comparison to everything else, but still, the concept was un-nerving.

But what was coming after, the end of my mortal life, and the beginning of my immortal one, about that, I had no doubts. Edward would not believe that...he had doubts enough himself about what he thought he was doing to me. He would not be able to understand the certainty of my choice, that I really had considered all the options, all the consequences, and that I understood what I was giving up. What he didn't understand most of all was what I was getting in return. Him...forever. Did he not realize what that meant to me, how much he fulfilled me?

What was bothering me though, more than the wedding, more than Edward's doubts, more than the fear of what my decision would cost the people I loved and had to leave behind, was what all that said about me. Rosalie's words to me the other night had only brought out the fears I had quashed deep down. From the minute I'd set eyes on Edward, I'd never wanted anything else, to the exclusion of my friends, my family, my hopes, and dreams. He trumped it all-he was the stars, and moon in my world, and I would give up anything, walk over anyone, make any decision, in order to keep it that way. Jacob was proof of that. Even Edward was being hurt by my decisions...I was forcing him to do something that he believed so strongly was wrong. What kind of person was I, really?

Next to me, Edward winced slightly, and I turned to him, alarmed. For the teensiest fraction of a second I worried that he had guessed my thoughts as I saw the pain on his face, and guilt seized my heart.

"Edward, what is it?"

Edward shook his head slightly, then smiled down at me, the pain easing. "It's alright, Bella. It's just..." he sighed. "...Elisa."

"Oh." I said, realizing that he had been listening to her thoughts. Whatever she was thinking, it had to have been pretty awful for him to look like that. "I feel so badly for her...maybe you should send Jasper to her."

Edward shook his head. "No. There's no way around the pain...she can't skip this part. She has to go through it. I'm monitoring her - if it gets too bad, I'll know." he exhaled again, and I watched the shadows under his eyes darken. It made me realize, more than ever, what a burden his 'gift' was. Elisa would suffer the loss of her family and her life, and Edward, because he couldn't close his mind, and Jasper, who couldn't close his heart, would suffer right along with her. It was too much...I didn't know how they could handle it. I wondered if I could ever be that strong, and then hoped, selfishly, that I would never have to find out. My own pain was enough to shoulder - how could I ever deal with someone else's?

"There you are." We both turned as the glass door slid open behind, then Emmett and Rosalie were there. For a minute, there was silence as the four of us surveyed each other. Rosalie and I hadn't spoken since the confrontation - was she here now to hurl a few more painful truths my way?

"Go on, Rosalie." Emmett urged her after a moment. I wondered if he was forcing her to speak to us.

Rosalie sighed and then lifted her head to look at me. "I wanted to say something about the other night, Bella." She was quiet as I froze, then continued. "I won't apologize for what I said, or take it back. I meant it - every word. What I will apologize for is _how_ I said it. I should not have unloaded on you like that...I could have found a better way and time."

"It's alright, Rosalie, really. You don't have to apologize for anything." I told her, glad my voice didn't shake as I spoke. Next to me, Edward's fingers curled, then tightened, around mine.

Rosalie shrugged, her expression cooling. "However you feel about me, Bella, I hope you think about everything I've told you. Once the deed is done, it's done. Don't come crying to me afterwards once you've realized I was right all along."

Edward growled, low in his throat, and I looked at him in alarm. "Edward, don't."

He ignored me, stepping forward to glower at his sister. "Some apology. You and me are long overdue for a serious conversation."

Rosalie glared right back at him fiercely, and then she was bumped out of the way as Emmett stepped between them. His face was smooth, but his voice was tense, warning, as he spoke. "Back up off my girl, Edward."

"I will...once she learns to keep her mouth shut about matters that are none of her concern." Edward snarled back.

Emmett's eyes flared and he grabbed Edward, pulling him forward as the angry noises from both of them intensified. "Stop!" I cried, trying to step in between them, but suddenly Alice and Jasper were there. I felt the soothing vibes wash over all of us, but it wasn't fast enough for Alice. Her arms were a blur as they shot out, and suddenly Edward and Emmett were thrown apart, both of them bouncing back several feet.

"We don't have time for this!" Her voice was furious. "Emmett, Rosalie is more than capable of taking care of herself. Edward, you can't protect Bella from everything. If you two are so anxious for a good fight, step right up. I'll kick the urge out of both of you!"

For a moment, Edward and Emmett glared at each other, and Alice, from across the patio, then Emmett relaxed first, a slow smile spreading across his face. "Simmer down, Alice. I've had my ass beat by women enough since I've joined this family. My male pride can't take much more." He looked at Edward and his lips quirked. "I suppose we should let the ladies work this one out for themselves, right, brother?"

I could tell by the tense set of Edward's jaw as he looked at Rosalie that he had no intention of staying out of this one, but he nodded anyway. "Whatever you say, Emmett." He held out his hand. "Sorry I lost it for a moment there."

Emmett slapped his palm jovially, never one to hold a grudge. "Makes life fun, a little tension now and then." He looked at Jasper and Alice. "What's up with you two?"

Jasper looked back and forth between all of us, as if making sure he had our full attention. "We need to talk about Elisa. About what we're going to do with her."

I frowned, confused. "Esme said she was staying."

Jasper sighed. "We all know that's what Esme wants. But is it really what's best?"

I shook my head. "I don't understand."

Edward's cool fingers touched my face and I looked at him. His eyes were wary as he looked back at me. "Bella, Elisa would be better off with a human family, people that can give her a normal life. As long as she's with us, she's in danger. Accidents happen - no one should know that better than you."

My eyes began to fill with angry tears. "That was then. All of you were able to become accustomed to be around me...there hasn't been a slip like that in a long, long time. You can do the same for Elisa."

Jasper looked almost angry now. "One mistake is one too many, Bella. You're different. Elisa is too much of a risk for us to take."

"How can you say that?" Emmett's voice was back to angry now. "Where exactly do you expect her to go? She doesn't have anyone else!"

Jasper looked at him coldly. "There are organizations set up to take care of this kind of situation. Social Services, foster homes..."

"They'll ask too many questions." Rosalie spoke now. "How would we ever explain where she came from?"

Jasper shrugged, his eyes still cold. "We don't. We won't be here to ask." He looked back at me and Edward. "We're leaving anyway...we all know our time in Forks is up. It will just be a little sooner. I know this will mess things up for you two, but you can get married anywhere. The sooner we deal with this problem, the better."

"You make me sick." Emmett spat in disgust. "After all she's been through, you want to dump her on strangers and run. Can you imagine what that would do to her, being forced on peoople she doesn't know and passed from home to home?"

"Do you think I like this?" Jasper's voice was rising now, the sound of it hurting my ears. "I'm not as indifferent as you believe, Emmett! I feel everything that girl is feeling, and it is pure misery. I know how much it will hurt her, but at least she'll be alive and safe. She'll have a chance at a future."

"Her future is with us!" Emmett barked back.

"Alice..." I turned to her. "You're not going to go along with this, are you? Emmett's right...Elisa's been through too much already. This would kill her!"

Alice looked miserably sad at my words, but she didn't reply. She just shook her head, her eyes downcast.

I looked at Edward now, my eyes pleading. "Edward, we owe her. _Please_."

Edward looked like he was hurting all over again. "You're right, Bella. We do owe her. We owe her better than this. If it was just us that was the obstacle, that would be something we could overcome. But it's not. There's the Volturi to consider. They made a big exception in your situation. They will not do so again. If they discover her with us, that she knows our secrets, they'll kill her without a moment's hesitation. And then there's..." He broke off suddenly, his eyes haunted.

"What?" I demanded. "What were you going to say?"

Edward closed his eyes for a moment, then forced the words past his lips. "There's _you_, Bella."

"Me?" I asked, my voice sharp. "What about me?"

Edward looked like he couldn't believe I was forcing him to say it out loud. The worry was in his eyes, fear of the impact his words would have on me. "In less than two months, Bella, you will be a ravenous, insatiable newborn. Elisa can't be anywhere near you. If she stays..." He let the words trail off but I understood now what he meant. If Elisa stayed, we couldn't. There would be no greater danger to her fragile life than me.

"Well, that does make a difference, doesn't it?" The disgust was in my voice now, the anger at myself rising and boiling over. "Beautiful...just beautiful. Because of me, Elisa will have to lose another family. I can't believe you ever feared that you would make me into a monster, Edward. I already am one." I looked away to hide my burning eyes.

Edward flinched, his arms going around me. "Don't you _ever_ say that, Bella."

"Don't placate me, Edward!" I shook off his arm angrily and he looked at me with wounded eyes. "Stop pretending I'm so much better than I am! You can't keep me up on a pedestal the way you want to. If you keep trying, I have to wonder if you really know the person you're so eager to shackle yourself to for all of eternity!"

The anguish streaked across Edward's face at my words, and immediately, I felt sick, wishing I could take them back. "I'm sorry." I whispered as I went to him, putting my arms around his waist and my head against his stony chest. "I just...I can't believe Elisa can't stay because of me. It's so wrong."

"There has to be another way." Emmett spoke up again, a muscle twitching near his jaw. "We've got to figure something out. We can't abandon her like this."

My head jerked up and I looked at him. "What if -" I stopped immediately. I could not say the words that had sprang, unbidden, to my lips. But everyone was looking at me curiously now, waiting for me to continue. I warned myself to stay silent regardless, but my heedless mouth was already open, speaking against my will.

"What if she wants to be a vampire too?"

Edward froze immediately. "No." His voice was flat, absolute. "It will never happen."

"She's too young." Alice agreed.

Jasper nodded his head. "It's impossible." He said quietly.

Across the patio, Rosalie was glaring at me furiously now, looking angrier with me than I'd ever seen her look before, and automatically I took a step back, not wanting to look into her ferocious eyes any longer.

"You're right." I whispered. "She is too young." I pictured Elisa in my mind. Fifteen was young enough, but between her small stature and delicate features, she didn't even look that old. If she were changed now, she'd be almost as cursed as Alec and Jane, forced to wander around in a near child's form forever. Oh, she'd be exquisite, I had no doubt about that, with her sweet face and flowing blonde hair, like a tiny fairy princess come to life. But she'd never be able to pass for more than sixteen at the most, and that would be with a big stretch of the imagination. Unless we pretended she was a child prodigy, she wouldn't even be able to go to college. The Cullens would have to move far more often, to keep anyone from growing suspicious. What kind of life would that be for her?

And yet, the stubborn idea would not leave my mind. "What if that's what she'd prefer?" The traitorous words kept coming. "Instead of being cast off on strangers, alone and friendless in a whole new world, what if she were willing to pay that price in order to stay? Shouldn't she have the choice?"

"No!" Rosalie's cry trumped everyone else. She staggered towards me, her beautiful face livid. Emmett restrained her before she reached me, but her angry words poured out regardless. "What is wrong with you that you would even _think_ such a thing? It's bad enough that you want to throw your own life away, now you want to encourage Elisa to die _again_ to make it more convenient for you to have everything you ever wanted? It is out of the question!"

I could tell by the dark disapproval in Edward's face as he looked at me that he agreed with Rosalie for once, but nevertheless, he turned to her, his own eyes sparking. "As I recall, Rosalie, the last time Elisa was here you weren't so concerned with her mortality. In fact, you were ready to snap her neck and dump her body in the woods because it was more _convenient_ for us." His voice was harsh as he threw her own words back at her. "At least Bella wants her to have some kind of a life."

His voice quieted and he turned to me. "Bella, you know we can't do that to Elisa. I don't have to explain to you why. Even if she wanted it, even if she begged, she is far too young to make that kind of decision. You may understand the consequences, but your maturity level and hers are light years apart. Don't put that idea into her head...you'll be starting something you can't ever take back."

Defeated, I nodded. "You're right. I know you are. I'm so sorry I even said it. It's just that she's lost so much..." I couldn't finish my sentence as the guilt rose up to choke me once more. "It's going to be so hard to let her go."

"I can't listen to this any more." Emmett straightened up, scowling. Like Rosalie, he looked angrier than I'd ever seen him before, but for far different reasons, I was sure. "I'm not afraid of the Volturi! If they want a fight we could give them one. And we can make arrangements for Bella to be far away for a few years. The fact that none of you want to consider the options, that you all just want to take the easy way out... I won't be a part of this. I've never been so disappointed in any of you. Ever." With that, he turned, and was gone, just a streak of motion headed towards the forest. Rosalie gave me a final scathing look and then she was gone too, dashing after him.

"Well." Edward broke the tense silence after a moment. "I'd never thought I'd see the day that Emmett would be at a human's mercy, but I have to say, Elisa's got him firmly wrapped around her small, mortal finger. He's very attached to her."

My arms tightened around my chest. "You're not making this any easier." I grumbled, turning away. "Now I have to feel guilty about hurting Emmett too?"

"Bella, none of this is your fault." Edward's voice was low, but fierce. "Don't do this to yourself, I'm begging you."

I opened my mouth to respond but suddenly Alice gasped, the sound alarming on the now quiet patio. Instantly, Jasper was at her side, and Edward was staring at her anxiously.

"Oh, _perfect_!" Alice's face was wrinkled in disgust now. "Just what we needed..." She turned her head and inhaled, and her perfect features grew even more irritated. At the same time, Edward and Jasper's head turned in the same direction, and they also breathed in, their faces mirroring the disgust on hers.

"What is it?" I asked. I was getting so tired of being the last one to know anything. "What's going on - what did she see?"

Edward looked down at me, and his expression was suddenly inscrutable. "She didn't see anything. She's gone blind."

"Why?" I demanded, my heart both sinking and rising, already knowing the reason.

"Because, Bella..." Edward looked again at the forest and sighed. "The werewolves are here."

_**Edward:**_

As the four of us made our way purposefully through the house towards the main room, there was a rush of motion and suddenly Rosalie and Emmett were on either side of us.

"We saw them too, in the forest." Emmett told me gruffly, his face even more tense than before. "The whole pack is out in force. They came right up behind us on their way to border the house. This is way over the line. It violates the treaty. What the hell do they think they're doing, declaring war?" He cracked his knuckles menacingly.

"No." I said as my head inclined towards the front door, listening to the thoughts I could hear just outside of it. "They think we're the ones breaking the treaty. They're here to put a stop to it."

"What are you talking about?" Bella's eyes were wide and I knew what she was thinking.

Carlisle and Esme were joining us now. Carlisle's eyes met mine, then turned to Bella. He didn't need to be able to read my mind to know what I was referring to.

"They haven't come because of you, Bella." He told her quietly. "It's Elisa. We knew this was a possibility when word got out that she was here."

Understanding dawned on Bella's face. "They think she's in danger...from all of you."

Carlisle nodded. "We just have to stay calm, and talk this out with them. As long as no one loses their head, there is no reason this should go any further." He shot a warning look at Rosalie and Emmett, then turned back at me. "Is Sam going to speak for them?"

"Yes." I nodded. "He's coming now. The other wolves will stay back, in the forest. They're waiting for the signal to fight or disperse. And - " My eyes widened. _This_ was unexpected. "He's not coming in alone."

"Who -" Bella didn't get a chance to finish her sentence as the doorbell rang. Esme turned and moved like lightning towards the back of the house. I knew she was heading to the dining room, to find Elisa and tell her of our guests, and to protect her if necessary. As Carlisle moved towards the front door, Bella stared at me with wide eyes. I knew what she was thinking without having to ask - that Jacob would be the one to come through the door with Sam. If I were to tell her she was wrong, would she be relieved...or disappointed?

"Welcome, Sam." Carlisle's voice was calm, as always, as he opened the door. "And Emily...I must say this is a surprise, but a pleasure. Please, come in." His manners were as polite as if this were a completely ordinary social call.

Sam and Emily exchanged wary looks, then they followed Carlisle down the hallway, reluctance and apprehension in every step. As Sam kept a protective arm around his fiancee, I noted the rigid tension in his frame. The tremors were there...barely visible, as Sam was a master of keeping himself under control, but it was a thin line between man and wolf as he found himself in the lion's den, every instinct screaming at him to fight, to protect the woman he loved from his enemy..._us_.

"You know why we're here." Sam's voice was blunt, not bothering with the niceties. "The news is all over town. You have another mortal here." His face was cold with anger. "We both know she's not your niece, so let's not play games. What have you done with her?"

"Hello Sam, Emily." I stepped forward to emulate Carlisle's polite greeting, ignoring Sam's hostile opening. "I must admit we expected to be hearing from you soon, Sam, but Emily...I never thought you'd bring her here."

Emily gave me a dark look, but her voice was careful as she spoke. "I made him bring me. We heard that the poor girl lost her family. I thought...well, some things need to be handled with a little bit more..._sensitivity_." She gave Sam a small, apologetic smile, but her ravaged face was determined. Sam was definitely unhappy to have her in what he considered was such a vulnerable position, but he'd been helpless to do anything but concede to her demands. I couldn't help but smile inside...in some ways we were very much alike. We both had superior strength and power beyond measure, but one well-chosen word from the supposedly weak human women we loved could bring us to our knees, every single time.

"Of course, the story about her family could be a complete lie." Sam said now. "Just a way to cover up your real intentions for her. I'm going to ask you again - what have you done with her?"

"Elisa has not been harmed in any way." Carlisle held up his hand at the angry hisses from Emmett and Rosalie, warning them to stay calm and quiet. "And although you are quite correct about her not being my niece, as you well know, the story about her family is true. They're gone. Elisa has no one else. That is why we've taken her in."

Sam scoffed loudly. "Generous of you. What is this, the beginning of some vampire orphanage for humans? Exactly how stupid do you think we are, Cullen? We have been more than patient with you. We have fought at your side, we have trusted you in ways unfathomable to our ancestors. We have even chosen to look the other way regarding your plans for Bella Swan, on behalf of Jacob and Charlie. We will not allow you to have another human. You have tested the limits of our tolerance for the last time!" He glared at Carlisle, and I stepped forward now to stand next to my father.

"There are extenuating circumstances of which you are not aware, Sam. I know you are not interested in the details. The important thing, for both of us, should be Elisa's well-being, and I will repeat that she has not been harmed in any way, nor will she be." Carlisle's voice was still unruffled, but the wariness was there now as he waited for Sam's response.

"We'd like to see that for ourselves, if you don't mind." Sam's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Where is she?"

The tension in the room was thick. Alice and Jasper stood back, keeping Bella between them, with Rosalie and Emmett nearby. At Sam's question, Emmett growled angrily, low in his chest, and I shot him a warning glance. If he lost it now, the fragile peace would be irrepairably broken. As it was, we were walking the tightrope already.

Carlisle paused for just a moment, then turned towards the back of the house. "Esme, bring Elisa, if you would."

A few seconds later, quiet footsteps sounded, and Esme appeared, her face reluctant. By her side, Elisa watched our visitors as she came forward, her face both cautious and curious. I immediately ascertained from her thoughts that she knew exactly who - and what - Sam was, and who Emily was as well, and it wasn't because of what Esme had told her. It was just another example of her shocking, deeply disconcerting, well of knowledge about us.

Carlisle went to escort Elisa the rest of the way into the room, and brought her to stand before Sam and Emily. "Sam, Emily, this is Elisa. Elisa, Sam and Emily have come to check on you." His voice encouraged her, and she moved forward, extending her hand politely. Sam pressed it quickly, then dropped it, his eyes touring over her carefully. Emily was more forward. She clutched Elisa's hand in both of her own. "I'm so glad to meet you, sweetheart." Her twisted mouth formed a smile. "We've heard about your loss...I am so sorry."

Elisa flinched slightly, but she forced herself to smile back at Emily. "Thank you." Her voice was quiet.

Carlisle turned back towards Sam and Emily. "As you can see, she's in perfect health...and completely human. She will remain that way. I hope this addresses your concerns." His manner was still flawless, but his voice hinted at a dismissal, and I tensed, knowing that this was the defining moment, the time when Sam would decide whether this battle was worth fighting.

"Not so fast." Sam's words were a near growl. "Just because she's fine now doesn't mean she won't turn up dead later...or worse. What guarantee do we have that you will not harm her? She can't be your next meal, nor will we allow you to turn her head with dreams of being young and strong forever. We can't accept this...the girl cannot stay here."

"Excuse me!" Elisa's indignant voice spoke up before anyone else could, and I braced myself for what she might say. " 'The girl' is standing right here, and as much as I enjoy being talked about like I'm not in the room, I'd like to have a say in this. First of all, the Cullens would never, ever hurt me. I've been here for days. They could have killed me a million times over by now and headed to Siberia without you ever knowing what happened if that's what they wanted. As for turning my head, not only have they _not_ offered to bite me, but I don't even want to be a vampire!"

Startled, my head whipped towards her voluntarily, and it was not the only one. Nearly everyone in the room was staring in surprise. Rosalie and Bella's faces were the most shocked, Rosalie staring at Elisa so hard that her eyes seemed to burn right through her, and Bella first looking at the two of them, and then me, gauging my face warily.

Seeing our reactions, Elisa flushed, looking over at us. "Um...it's not like I think being a vampire is a _bad_ thing." Her voice was pacifying. "It's just that...well..." She didn't finish, blushing more fiercely now.

"It _is_ a bad thing." Sam spat, glaring at her as if she was being purposefully obtuse.

Emily shot him a warning look, then stepped forward. "Elisa, we're very relieved to know that you are alright and that you don't have intentions of..." she hesitated. "...changing that. But you don't really understand what you're doing. The Cullens may not want to hurt you, but it's their nature. You are in danger here, and we can't leave you in this situation. Staying is not an option for you."

Elisa stared at Emily with wide eyes for a moment. "But..." Her voice was hollow now. "I don't have anywhere else to go."

Emily and Sam were quiet for a moment, exchanging a long look as I listened to the nearly identical internal debate each of them was having, then Emily turned back. "If that's the case, then come home with us, Elisa."

"You can't be serious." It was Esme that spoke now, stepping forward. Her face showed rare signs of anger. "Elisa is perfectly safe here, despite what you may want to believe. She's not going anywhere."

Sam looked back at her coldly. "We want to speak to Elisa alone." It wasn't a request, it was a demand, and behind me, Emmett and Rosalie hissed again, angered at his tone.

Carlisle looked at them, his unbreakable patience showing signs of wear for once. They quieted immediately at his warning glance, and he turned back to Emily and Sam. For a moment he was quiet, considering, then he nodded. "I don't have a problem with that." He looked at Elisa. "We will be in the kitchen if you need us." His voice was reassuring.

Elisa clearly did not want to be left alone with the stiff, unapproachable Sam, even if Emily's presence did lighten the mood a bit, but she nodded anyway, watching us file, one by one, down the hallway.

As soon as we entered the dining room, Esme whirled on Carlisle. "Why did you leave her alone with them? Why didn't you just tell them no and send them on their way? You can't possibly be considering letting them take her!"

It was hard to hear the emotion underneath the anger in her tone. Elisa had brought all of Esme's strong maternal instincts to a raging boil. The young girl represented, far more than we, her invincible, immortal children ever could, something that Esme would never have the chance to experience again - motherhood. The chance to raise a human child, to watch her grow, and change. Esme would never have another opportunity like this, and she knew it. I hated the inevitability of her pain.

Carlisle paused before he spoke. "Let's all sit down and discuss this." he indicated the table before us. With a final flare of her eyes, Esme went to her seat, as we all did, Bella sitting down at my side as I reached for her hand.

As soon as everyone was seated, Jasper took advantage of the opportunity. "Esme, I know you don't want Elisa to go, but the werewolves have given us a perfect solution. They are not strangers to Elisa...she knows of them, at the very least. She'll be safe with them. It's better for her...it's better for everyone."

Esme and Emmett both began to object strenuously, but Carlisle held up his hand. "Esme, we know how you feel." His voice was gentle, and he reached for her hand, taking it in his, the long fingers stroking her skin gently. "Emmett, you will all have a chance to speak. Let's keep this as civilized as possible." He turned to Alice, who was seated on his other side. "Alice, what is your opinion?"

Alice shook her head. "I don't know." she whispered finally. "It makes sense. It would be easier if she left. But..." she didn't finish her sentence.

"It should be Elisa's choice!" Bella burst out. "What if she doesn't want to go to La Push? When she was the most vulnerable, she came _here_. How can we turn her away now?" Her eyes met mine. "I'm sorry, Edward, I know how you feel, but I don't agree. There has to be a way to work this out."

"We've been over this!" Jasper burst out, staring at her hard. "We have to keep our secrets, Bella. Can Elisa do that? What if she let something slip? That's just one of the problems. There's the fact that she smells entirely too much like dinnertime. The inevitable return of the Volturi to deal with. We don't need their wrath coming down on our heads. And then there's you, and what you will be soon. You want to become one of us - well, there are certain things that you will have to sacrifice in order to do that. Fostering vulnerable humans is one of them."

Bella winced, but held her ground. "If I am the biggest obstacle, then that can be remedied." She looked back at me. "We'll leave, Edward. When it's time for me to be changed, we'll go far, far away from Elisa and we won't come back until we can be certain that I can control myself around her. I don't care how long it takes. I just can't do this to her...I can't take another family away from her. Please, _please_ understand."

I turned for a moment, staring out the window towards the forest. Distantly, invisible to human eyes, I could see the dark shapes moving restlessly, waiting for a sign to tell them what to do next. Jacob was there, thinking of Bella though he struggled not to, and my own thoughts weren't about Elisa now - they were with Bella too, and the memories, all too recent and painful, of how I'd nearly lost her to the werewolves. To _him_. And Bella thought _she_ was selfish...if I had the strength, I'd give her up, I'd tell her to go to him, let him love her, protect her, give her children, give her _life _instead of the death that I represented. And yet, I never would make that sacrifice again. Not if she didn't want me to, maybe not even if she did.

Knowing that, knowing that I was keeping her with me despite all the odds, all the danger and loss it represented, and yet I was ready to tell Elisa to go, tell her that she wasn't allowed anything resembling a choice, made me feel every bit of my hypocrisy. I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them.

"I suppose that..." I paused, looking at Bella again, and it gave strength and conviction to my words. "...if Elisa wants to stay, even given the other options, perhaps we should give her the choice. It will be difficult - there will be some hard decisions ahead, but I can't seem to turn her away either. Not after everything else - not after she was sent back to us. Who's to say it wasn't for a reason, that there isn't some grander scheme behind it all?"

Bella glowed as she registered my words, and that was reward enough for me to bury my doubts once and for all.

"There is something else to consider." Carlisle's voice broke into the low rumble that had begun in response to my words. "We must consider the fact that perhaps the werewolves are not _equipped_ to handle her." He looked around the room at the surprised expressions on almost every face, then continued. "There is so much we don't know about Elisa, how and why she got here, how she was able to manifest herself here so many times before... I don't pretend to know the answers. It could have been some higher power, an accident, fate...who knows? But what if it isn't? What if it's _her_? And if she has that kind of ability, she doesn't know it, and she certainly can't control it. We are in the best position to help her, to keep her from being a danger to herself and others. We must consider that."

There was silence as we absorbed his words, then Emmett spoke.

"Well, you all know she had me at hello." Emmett grinned as he repeated the popular movie line. "I don't care where she came from, or how she got here. I certainly don't give a damn how the Volturi or the werewolves feel about it, I don't care if she's human, or one of us, or Supergirl in disguise. I think she should stay. At the very least, she should have the choice."

Beside him, Rosalie sighed, then turned to Carlisle. "So how do we decide? What do we do now?"

Carlisle exhaled, looking around the table. "It's simple. We vote."

Jasper made an angry noise, ready to object, but Alice put a soothing hand on his arm. "We make these decisions together, Jasper." Her voice was gentle. "As a family. Majority rules."

Jasper shook his head, frustrated, then looked up at Carlisle, defeated. "Fine. Let's vote."

Carlise turned to his wife. "Esme?"

"She stays." Esme's voice was immediate, and Carlisle nodded. "Alice?"

Alice hesitated for a long moment as she struggled with herself. I could hear the arguments running through her head, see the fragments of visions as they flickered in and out, showing her first one possibility, then another. Finally, with an apologetic look at Jasper, she straightened up. "We should give her the choice."

"We know your vote, Emmett." Carlisle turned in his chair. "Bella?"

Bella looked at me, then smiled. "Give her the choice."

"Edward?"

I looked at my Bella for a long moment, then returned her smile. "I agree. Let her decide." Bella beamed at me, and despite my misgivings, my dead heart leapt at her expression.

"Rosalie?"

The table suddenly went tense, as I realized that Rosalie had been surprisingly quiet during our meeting. I turned to stare at her now, surprised at the direction her thoughts were going, as she gazed at Carlisle.

"I say she stays." Rosalie's words were slow and deliberate. Beside me, Bella gasped. She was not the only one who looked shocked. Jasper, Alice, and Esme were all staring at Rosalie as if she'd suddenly grown a second head.

"What?" Rosalie snapped. "Why are you all so surprised? Did you think I was so eager to turn her over to the werewolves?" She shot an angry glance towards the main room. "They are presumptuous! How dare they hold themselves so high above us, pretend as though they are so much better, like accidents don't happen on the other side of the line when that ruined girl in there is proof positive that they do? How can we be sure Elisa would be any safer with them? We've all seen her in action...she speaks first, and thinks later, no matter who she is talking to. I give her three days, tops, before she causes one of them to implode. At least we can control ourselves." She sat back. "Ask her. If Elisa wants to stay, I think she should."

"That's my girl." Emmett was beaming at Rosalie now, his hand going forward to caress her cheek, and she smiled back at him.

Carlisle nodded now. "I also feel she should be given the choice. That just leaves one more vote to be cast. Jasper?" He turned to him.

Jasper stared around the table for a moment, then his eyes went to rest on Alice. "I...what the hell." He sighed. "I suppose I've acquired a taste for troublesome humans. Let her stay. We'll just have to come up with a strategy to avoid her crossing paths with the Volturi." His voice revealed grave doubt about how well we would be able to do that, but his mind was made up.

"Thank you, Jasper!" Alice hurled herself across the table and into his arms. "You won't regret this!" She laughed as he looked at her. "Well, not all of the time, any way. I have a feeling that life is about to get a lot more interesting around here."

"Great." Jasper shot a pointed look at Bella, then put his head in his hands. "I am not exactly sure how many more 'interesting' events I can take." His voice was muffled, but there was a tone of laughter in it.

"It's not decided yet." Carlisle cautioned. He looked towards the main room. "Elisa must have the choice. She's already said she doesn't want to be a vampire. Living in a house full of them may not be what she wants either."

And with that, we stood up, ready to go back to the main room, knowing that what happened in the next few minutes would change the face of our family, and our future...possibly forever.

.

_**Elisa:**_

Nervously, I shifted from foot to foot as Sam and Emily's dark eyes surveyed me. For a moment, there was silence, then Sam lifted his head, staring down the hall as if to make sure no one was still lurking in the shadows. Then he looked at me.

"We are alone now. I don't want you to be afraid to speak freely. Have they harmed you or threatened you, Elisa? There is no need to be frightened of them. We are equipped to deal with them, I promise you that." His voice held the tone of menace and I shivered before I looked back up at him.

"You have it all wrong! They haven't hurt me at all. Carlisle was telling you the truth. They saved me. I don't know where I would be without them." I stared at him, hoping he would see the sincerity in my face and let it go. The last thing I needed was to bring the werewolves down on the Cullens. So much was going wrong because of me...I stared at Sam and I couldn't help but remember what happened the last time I was allowed to interfere. He'd _died_. Along with Edward...Seth.. Guilt surged through me. Little did he know that I had been far more dangerous to him than a whole pack of vampires ever could be.

Sam's face hardened at my words. "You say you know what they are, but do you truly, Elisa? Do you have any idea what they are capable of?"

I thought back, to the threat I'd felt from Edward in the forest, and again from Rosalie the first time I'd come to this house, and the shivering returned, but just for a moment. I'd made the choice to trust them, just like they had for me. Defiantly, I lifted my head to stare Sam right in the eyes. "Yes." I said firmly. "I know. I know more than you think, and I still want to be here. I don't believe they would ever hurt me, but if something were to happen, it would be because I knew the risks and I took the chance anyway. It's not an excuse for you to start a fight!"

Sam's eyes darkened, and he glared at me for a moment before he spoke again. "How do you know, Elisa? Vampires don't reveal their secrets to just anyone, not without a very good reason. How is it that you know what they are and you have been allowed to live?"

Oh _no_. He wanted answers... There was no way I was going through the whole alternate universe explanation again. Not that it would do any good anyway...a few minutes of that and Sam would be convinced that the Cullens had either brain-washed me or they were putting crazy-making pills in my breakfast food.

I took a deep breath, thinking as fast as I could. Luckily, making up stories on the spot was something that came naturally to me, not only from all the years of day-dreaming, but because of all the times I'd had to avoid my father's wrath for something I'd done, or something he'd _thought_ I'd done. I considered myself somewhat of an expert now on getting out of trouble with a convincing tale, but the stakes were far higher now then they'd ever been.

_Edward, I hope you're listening... _It was the first time I'd sent a thought directly at him, but I needed him to know and repeat my tale to the others, so they could back me up. Taking a deep breath, I plunged in. "No one told me anything. I found out by accident. I was on vacation with my family in Italy this spring. I wandered off by myself, and I came across...something." I looked at Sam, wondering how much he knew from Jacob's thoughts. "Do you know what the Volturi are?" I swallowed hard, praying I wasn't revealing any more of the Cullens' secrets.

"Vaguely." Sam answered. "Continue."

"OK then. I saw some of them, with Bella, and Edward. I overheard too much. If Edward hadn't intervened, they would have killed me. He saved my life. When my family died..." I took a deep breath, mustering enough courage to get through the next sentence. "...I thought of him and his family. I was desperate...I didn't have anywhere else to go, so I ran away. They took me in."

"I see." Sam's face was expressionless for a moment, then it suddenly flared to life again. "And us, Elisa? Do you know what we are?"

I looked at him. "You're a werewolf, you and your pack. You're enemies of the vampires." I gave myself a moment for inspiration to strike and then spoke again. "The Cullens had to tell me about you, to warn me to stay on this side of the line. They were afraid I might smell too much like them, that there might be a...mistake." I was pleased to see the agitation on his face at those words. It was about time he remembered that the werewolves were just as fallible as the vampires, maybe even more so because they didn't have all those decades of forced self-control to rely on.

Sam's voice was strained when he spoke again. "Well, now that we all know about each other, there is no need for caution anymore." He looked at Emily, reaching for her hand, and then returned his gaze to my face. "We will take you home with us, Elisa. We may not have the resources that the Cullens do ' - he looked around for a moment at the beautiful room and the grand furnishings as if they somehow offended him - 'but we can take care of you. You'll be better off."

Highly offended that he thought the Cullens' big screen tv and expensive amenities were what was keeping me there, I gave him a furious look. Before I could say anything though, a velvet, but authoritative voice spoke up.

"That is for Elisa to decide." Carlisle was coming back into the room, closely followed by the rest of his family. "We've talked over your offer, Sam, and we thank you for your generosity. However, Elisa will not have to leave here unless she chooses to do so."

For a moment Sam looked outraged, his whole frame trembling, but Emily squeezed his hand, whispering in his ear, and slowly, he relaxed. He turned back to me. "Very well. What is your decision, Elisa?"

For a moment, I couldn't speak. My heart felt like it was being squeezed in my chest as I turned to look at the faces surrounding me. Carlise, Esme, Edward, Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice...how could I leave them? They were all I had now. Why did I have to make this choice? I felt like a trophy - no, not even a trophy, because at least that would give me some status, some prestige. No, I was a bone, a dirty, chewed to death, worthless bone that the dog didn't even want - he just instinctively needed to bury it in his yard so no other beast could have it. I would be a burden on Sam and Emily and the limited resources of the reservation, but what about the burden I represented to the Cullens'?

I looked at Carlisle, knowing my eyes were swimming with tears that I could not allow to fall. "It would be easier for you, wouldn't it, if I left? You wouldn't have to worry about me, you wouldn't have to worry about the Volturi, or anything. I could cause you so many problems..."

No one spoke. I thought I saw Emmett open his mouth, but Carlisle shot him a stern look, and he closed it again immediately. His golden eyes remained fixed on my face.

I turned away. It hurt too much to look at them anymore, knowing what I had to do.

"OK." I whispered, looking at Sam. "I'll go with you." I almost said I'd get my stuff, but then I remembered that I had nothing. The few things the Cullens had bought for me, I would leave behind. I had taken enough from them - I would not take a single thing more.

"No!" Esme cried, stepping forward, and my heart felt like it was tearing in two. I forced myself not to look at her, knowing if I did, I'd break down.

"We told her it would be her choice." I heard Carlisle say, although his own voice sounded strained. "Elisa, are you sure this is what you want?" He turned to me.

I could only give him the briefest of glances before I had to stare down at the floor once more. "Yes." I said, trying to make my voice as hard as I could. "I'm sure."

I made the mistake of looking up, and Edward was there, his own eyes boring into mine. For a moment, I could not look away, but he broke the spell first, turning back to Carlisle. "She doesn't want to go."

My thin layer of self-control snapped at his words and I spun around to confront him. "Shut up, Edward!" My voice was a scream, and I saw the shocked expressions turned my way but I could not restrain myself. "Get out of my head! Why would you tell them that? You know this is for the best! If I stay, I'll just cause trouble. The werewolves will fight you, the Volturi could come after you...I won't do that to any of you! Just let me go!"

Edward's face was taut as he looked at me, then Sam and Emily, and finally back at his family. Emmett nodded at him and he turned back towards me. "No."

"Are you crazy?" I was shaking so hard I felt like I might explode into some strange creature myself. "Why are you doing this? Is it out of pity? I'm not stupid, you know. I know you don't really want me here, and you're not the only one." I looked at Rosalie and Jasper. "I'm going."

"Actually, Elisa, we have already voted on whether we want you to stay." Edward's words shocked me into stillness. "And we think you should." He smiled crookedly. "It was unanimous."

"What?" My jaw dropped so far it was amazing I could form words. "Unanimous? You mean all of you..." I stared at them, watching the smiles appear on their faces. "Why?" My voice was a croaky whisper.

Emmett stepped forward, grinning at me. "Because, kid, you're one of us."

Esme stepped forward as well, then angled herself between me and the front door before she spoke. "That's right. And I'm sure this will sound like a bit of a misnomer, but over my _dead body _will you walk out that door."

Emmett moved to stand next to her. "Mine too, kid, and believe me, I'm not easy to kill."

Alice chuckled, then was next to them in one fluid movement. "Add me to the 'dead body' club. You're not going anywhere."

Bella smiled at me. "Are you really going to make us all say it, Elisa?"

Rosalie sighed. "I hope not. I hate scenes." She studied her red nails for a moment, then looked at me. "It's already settled, Elisa, so stop being so overdramatic and deal with it already."

"Well, Elisa?" Carlisle's voice stopped anyone else from adding their two cents. "What do you say now?"

"I..." My breath caught and I knew I was about to cry, but I couldn't help it as the tears welled and spilled over onto my cheeks. "I guess I'm hanging with the vampires." My voice was a shaky whisper. "Thank you."

Emmett beamed at me. "Right on!"

Across the room, Sam suddenly growled, and I jumped, my heart skipping wildly. For a moment, I'd forgotten he and Emily were there. The Cullens immediately assumed defensive positions, moving to encircle me, Bella, and Carlisle as well as Sam turned in his direction. Outside, there was a sudden howl, then another, and fear ripped through me.

"This is unacceptable!" Sam roared, his dark eyes snapping. "She can't stay here! She's leaving..._now_!"

"It would have to be by force." Carlisle stepped forward to engage him. "You know what that would mean, Sam. We've kept our side of the pact and we will continue to. Are you really willing to risk the treaty by forcing Elisa to your will when she's clearly made up her mind? When there is no evidence that she's in any danger whatsoever? Are you so desperate for a war that you would risk your people like that? You can't honestly think you would win so easily, that none of your pack would be lost to this senseless upheaval. It's time to make your stand. Either begin the battle or take your Emily and go home. Be safe. Protect your people. Keep the peace, and we will as well."

For a moment they were at a standstill, golden eyes clashing against black ones, and then Emily moved to Sam's side, putting a restraining hand on his arm.

"Sam..." her whispering was pleading. "I don't like it either, but we have no choice. Let's go."

Sam maintained his near attacking stance. "I can't just leave her to their mercies, Emily. I'm a protector. It goes against everything I stand for."

"If you are that concerned, you are welcome to come back and check on her anytime. You as well, Emily." Carlisle's voice was less intense now, and that gave me hope. Maybe he sensed Sam was close to backing down.

Emily whispered to Sam again, her words unintelligible to me this time. Slowly, so slowly I wanted to scream with tension and fear, his large frame straightened, and then...he stepped back. He looked at me and shook his head. "You're making a mistake, but I suppose it is your choice." Then his head turned and now he was looking at Bella. I saw Edward tense, and his eyes blaze.

"Speaking of choices..." Sam gave her a long look, then turned back to Carlisle. "You _will_ leave before another one is made. There will be no peace any longer if you do not. Is that clear?"

Carlisle nodded. "Of course. It is already decided. We're leaving immediately after the wedding." His eyes turned to me. "_All_ of us."

"Don't come back." Sam gave Carlisle a final, hard look.

"We won't." It was Edward who spoke now. "Ever." Next to him, Bella was suddenly pale.

"Then that's all there's left to say." Sam turned now towards the door, taking Emily with him. "I will, however, be back to check on Elisa before you go."

"Fine." Carlisle's voice was smooth as he politely escorted them to the door. Just as he opened it for them, there was another short howl from the forest, then a series of quick, yipping barks. It was completely different from the ominous howls of earlier...it almost sounded playful.

Sam rolled his eyes, his face suddenly tight with annoyance. He turned to look at Edward. "Seth says hi." he grumbled unwillingly.

Edward smiled widely. "Tell him I said hello as well, if you don't mind."

Sam's flared nostrils said clearly that he _did_ mind, but without another word, he and Emily strode out the door, and then they were gone.

And with their exit, the tension swirled out of the room, and in its place was something I didn't recognize at first, a strange sensation that filled me with warmth and security, making my skin tingle as it surrounded me. I considered for a moment, before I realized what it was. It was the sense of belonging. For the first time since my return, I felt hope, even anticipation, for the future. One of my lives had ended, but the other was just beginning, and for once, I couldn't wait to see what would happen next.

_**To Be Continued**_...

_In Chapter Four, preparations for the wedding continue. Elisa explains her reasons for not wanting to become a vampire and Edward attempts to use her to manipulate Bella, but does he really want his plan to succeed? Or is it a case of 'be careful what you wish for?'_

_And Elisa has to deal with fresh pain when she finds that her return to the world of Twilight has left her with unexpected side effects..._

_Song line is from Here's Where I Stand, CAMP soundtrack._

**Thank you for reading! I very much look forward to your feedback...it keeps me writing!**


	4. Things Worth Dying For

Welcome to Chapter Four, _Things Worth Dying For_, of my Twilight fanfic, Evening Falls. I switched up the POVs in this chapter a bit because I wanted certain conversations shown from particular characters' viewpoints.

I want to thank you all for the reviews I've gotten - you guys have the best, most insightful comments that really make me feel like you're with me for the ride and I so appreciate it. It's going to be a long and bumpy one (the story is most definitely NOT ending with the wedding - lots of twists and action to come) so fasten your seatbelts. :D I'm glad to know that most people don't mind reviews responded to, so I will continue to do so...I enjoy reading what you all have to say and replying.

Please keep the comments coming - they inspire me. :)

**Evening Falls**

Chapter Four:

Things Worth Dying For

_'what would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud...'  
I_

_**Elisa:**_

I'd already double-checked the list six times, but just in case, and to kill time as I waited for Alice, I ran my fingers down the computer print-out a final time, checking each name against each addressed invitation, making sure there was one for each name on the list. Finally satisfied, I sat back in my chair in the dining room, carefully placing the addressed, stamped invitations in the box. Next to the box, there was a much smaller pile of left-over, blank invitations that Alice had asked me to save just in case last minute guest possibilities came up. I wondered if she might let me have one to keep as a souvenir. I was positive this was one day I'd want to remember forever.

"Hello, Elisa."

Edward's voice sounded from out of nowhere and I jumped in my seat as I realized he was standing right in front of me.

"Edward!" I put my hand over my pounding heart. "Can't you make a little noise or something before you come in?"

He shrugged, eyes sparkling in a way that made me suddenly feel flushed and a little too warm. "Sorry." His lopsided smile said he was anything but. "I just came to see how everything was going with the invitations."

"They're all done." I smiled at him. "Alice is going to take them to the post office in a few minutes. I'm just guarding them until then."

"Good, good." Edward's voice sounded a bit distant, as if he were thinking of something else. I watched him for a moment as he leaned against the table. His eyes were far away, as if he were considering something, then he looked back at me and smiled.

"How are you doing, Elisa?"

"Um..." I looked at him. Something was up, and I had the oddest feeling I should know what it was. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Just checking." His voice was vague and far away again. "I just wanted to know that everything was alright with you."

"Hmm." My voice was suspicious now as his eyes roamed the room, seeming to want to look anywhere but right at me. "You could always read my mind if you really wanted to know."

"Yes, but you don't like that." He pointed out.

Now I was really suspicious. "That never stopped you before." I frowned at him. "What do you want, Edward? I mean, really?"

At his expression my heart stopped for a moment, then resumed, beating a little faster than normal. _No one _could look innocent like Edward Cullen could. He was smiling at me again, his golden eyes looking into mine, and for a moment I was dizzy until I realized what he was doing. He was _charming_ me, that conniving vampire, so I wouldn't ask any more questions. And I was totally falling for it! It took an immense effort but I tore my eyes away from him before I could start drooling, and forced my mind to work, trying to remember what it was that seemed so familiar to me about this whole scenario. It took a few moments, but then my eyes fell back onto the pile of blank invitations on the table, and suddenly it clicked.

"_Oh no_." I groaned as I looked up at Edward. "You're actually going to do it!"

"What?" His face was as innocent and charming as ever, but I wasn't falling for it a second time. Annoyed, I picked up a blank invitation and held it out to him. "I can't believe you're going through with this. You are _such_ a glutton for punishment."

"I don't know what you mean." He was lying through his perfect, white teeth, looking at the invitation like he had no idea why I was trying to give it to him.

I scowled at him. "Inviting Jacob Black to your wedding is what, Edward. Why would you do that?" I shook my head in aggravation. "But if you insist on shooting yourself in the foot, go ahead and take the stupid invitation. And if you already snitched one, put it back. I have to account for all of these, you know."

Edward's face lost any pretense and he stared at me for a moment, looking wary. "Elisa, sometimes you absolutely terrify me. The things you know..."

I shrugged as I handed the invitation to him. "Well, you don't need to worry about that any more. This is it; pretty much the last bit of my advance knowledge. After this, I'm just as blind as the rest of you...well, exempting Alice, of course."

Edward studied me carefully for a moment. "I see." He paused for a moment. "So you don't know if Bella..." he hesitated again. "..if she..."

Realizing what he was trying to say, I shook my head. "If she goes through with it? If she becomes a vampire? No, I don't know." I looked up at him. "Even if I did, things change. Anything can change, no matter how hard you fight to keep it the way you want it." My own eyes were far away for a moment, remembering.

Edward started to say something else, but he stopped as Bella's voice sounded from the kitchen. "Elisa! Dinner's ready!"

With one final, narrow eyed look at Edward, I jumped out of my seat, careful to take the remaining invitations with me and started towards the kitchen.

"Elisa." Edward's voice stopped me in my tracks, and I turned to look at him. His expression was slightly anxious now, and my annoyance with him eased a bit despite myself.

"Don't worry, Edward." I sighed. "I'm not telling Bella."

He smiled at me now with more sincerity than he had during the whole conversation. "Thank you."

Before I could give in to my desire to tell him what an idiot he was being once more - I mean, really, who invites their bride's _ex_ to their wedding? - Alice appeared in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, blocking my path. "I'll take those." She smiled at me as she took the invitations. "Thank you, Elisa. We'll get these out as soon as possible." She gestured for me to go back into the dining room. "Bella's bringing the food in here, so we can all sit down with you."

"You can _all _sit with me?" I frowned. "Why?" My eyes widened as Rosalie and Emmett, along with Jasper, entered the room. What was going on?

Esme came up behind me, startling me once more. If they kept doing that, I was going to die -_again_- from total heart failure. "So we can have dinner as a family, Elisa. Isn't that what your family did?"

I looked at Rosalie, whose expression said she thought this was as bizarre as I did. "But you don't _eat_." I pointed out, looking back at Esme.

Esme smiled. "I know that, sweetheart. But we want to give you as normal of a life as possible. We can't replace your family and I would never try, but we can adopt a few human rituals here and there."

"Oh." I took my seat at the table, thinking about that, not able to object any more as I saw the anxious expression on her face. It was really sweet of Esme to force the whole family to sit down together every evening just to make me feel more at home, but it was also kind of embarrassing...and really, really weird. Still, I wouldn't hurt Esme's feelings for the world, so I forced a smile on my face. I saw Edward's lips quirk as he too took a seat and knew he was not unaware of what I was thinking.

I turned to Bella, who was entering the room now with a spaghetti filled plate, which she set in front of me. "Bella, you're eating too, right?" I was unable to disguise the pleading tone in my voice. I needed company. If I had to sit at the table by myself with seven vampires listening to me chew, I'd be totally humiliated.

I could tell by the sympathetic way Bella looked at me that she knew exactly how I felt. "Alright." She sighed, turning back to the kitchen. "Just let me go get my plate."

"Done." Edward had sped from the dining room to the kitchen and back without either one of us even noticing, and he now handed her a full plate. She gave him a long look, which he returned with an amused grin, then shook her head and went to sit on the other side of me.

It was as awkward as I feared for the first few moments. Esme and Carlisle made casual conversation, mostly about the wedding, and Emmett cracked a few jokes, but most of us seemed to not really know what to say. Bella and I were trying to eat as quickly, and as quietly, as possible, and both of us barely spoke. This was definitely one human ritual I could do without...it wasn't quite the same without actual humans to do it with.

The conversation had dwindled, and then died into a stilted silence when I saw Rosalie suddenly straighten up in her seat, her eyes fastened on me. "Elisa?"

I tried not to choke on the mushroom in my mouth as she addressed me. Chewing and swallowing as fast as I could, I cleared my throat. "Yes?"

Rosalie looked at me for a moment before she spoke again, as if wondering about what she was going to say. "Why don't you want to be a vampire?"

I nearly choked again, despite the fact that there was nothing to gag on now. Boy, she just never beat around the bush, did she? To avoid answering for a moment, I took a long drink of milk, noticing as I did so that everyone was staring at me now, waiting for me to speak. My face flushed.

They were still waiting expectedly, and I couldn't put it off any longer. I looked at Carlisle. "I'll tell you, but before I do, can I ask you something? And do you promise to give me a honest answer, and not worry about scaring me or hurting my feelings or anything?"

Carlisle looked mystified, but he nodded. "Of course, Elisa."

"OK then." I kept my eyes on his face. "About me becoming a vampire..." I paused. "Is it the only way I can stay? If I don't, are you all eventually going to have to send me away, or leave me somewhere? I know you would do it to protect me, but I -" I swallowed hard. "I couldn't stand it. So if it's the only way I can be with you, I'll do it." I tried not to let my voice shake.

Several of the faces around me looked aghast at my words. Even Carlisle looked shocked for a moment before his face smoothed out again. "Of course you don't have to become a vampire to stay, Elisa. In fact, even if you wanted to, I would say no. You are far too young at this point, and since you're in perfect health, there is just no way I could justify it to myself. No, Elisa, you never have to be worried about being forced or coerced into immortality, I can promise you that."

Relaxing a bit, I smiled slightly. "Thank you." Then I blushed all over again. "I really don't think being a vampire is such an awful thing, if that's what you're thinking." Rosalie's eyes blazed as I spoke, and I flinched slightly, but forced myself to continue anyway. "But it's just that...well, I like to eat. A lot. I'd miss chocolate. And I used to like to dream... well, I guess I wouldn't miss that part so much anymore. Plus I really don't want to be this short forever - I'm kind of hoping I still have a growth spurt ahead of me. And..."

I knew I was patronizing them, giving them the most shallow of reasons, and that they could see right through me. I sighed. "OK, look. I don't deal well with pain. At all. Especially after my accident. And living forever - well, that's a tough deal. I think I would get..." I blushed more. "...lonely. I mean even if I had you guys, it wouldn't be the same as having...well..." I looked at Edward, knowing my face was scarlet. "I mean, I used to have this whole life plan. And even though my life is totally not where I thought it would be, that doesn't mean I have to completely give up on my future, right?"

Carlisle smiled at me, his face warm. "Of course not, Elisa. You have your entire life ahead of you. You can do whatever you want with it."

I smiled back. "Well, that's it. Now you know." I returned to my plate, feeling glad that the conversation was over, but my relief was short-lived as Emmett spoke.

"Hold up, kid." He grinned at me. "Now you've got me curious. What's this grand life plan of yours?"

Oh _great_. I'd been hoping no one would ask. My face bloomed all over again as I groaned. "Don't ask me that, Emmett! It's so...embarrassing!"

Across the table Alice laughed. "You shouldn't have said that, Elisa. Now you _have_ to tell us. Come on, don't leave us in suspense."

"You're going to laugh." I grumbled as I stared at my plate. No one denied it...they just waited for me to speak. I gritted my teeth.

"OK, well, I want to finish school, of course, and go to college. I don't really know what I want to be yet. I used to want to be a dancer, or an actress, and I still kind of do, but now I think maybe I want to do something that isn't just about me. Something that helps people, but I haven't figured out what that is yet. And sometime between...I don't know, seventeen and twenty-one, I guess, I plan on finding the love of my life. Around twenty-five, I'll get married, and I'm going to have kids. I think I'd like a lot...like maybe four or five. It was just me and my brother growing up, and I love him, but we never had much in common, plus he and my dad were totally bonded. I used to feel like I didn't belong. It was hard sometimes, never really fitting in. I always thought if I had more brothers and sisters there would be someone that could be more than a sibling...that could be my friend, and that's what I want for my children.'

'So anyway, I'll raise my kids, and have a career, and shop a lot, and be kind of vain all through my thirties and forties. You know what I mean...I'll color my hair, do a little Botox, and lie about my age. Then, somewhere about fifty, I'm just going to let it all slide, go gray, gain about forty pounds, because I think it's important to be huggable when you're a grandma, and bake cookies all day. And I'll retire, and spoil my grandkids until my children get mad at me and travel the world with my husband until I die peacefully in my sleep. So that's it...that's the big plan. Go ahead and laugh." I folded my arms defiantly.

Emmett did chuckle a bit, but it was Esme who leaned forward to speak. "Actually, I think that's a wonderful plan, Elisa." She smiled at me. "And I promise you, sweetheart, that we will do everything in our power to make sure that you have the kind of life that you should have had in the first place."

"Thank you." I was touched by her words, but still embarrassed, and extremely ready to move on to another topic. As I tried to think of one, I saw Edward staring at me out of the corner of my eye. Unable to help myself, I looked him full in the face, my embarrassment changing to indignation when he didn't stop looking at me.

"What?" I snapped, fully prepared for his sure to be mocking words.

"I'm just thinking..." He didn't look away. "I think I owe you an apology, Elisa. You are far more mature than I gave you credit for."

"Oh." I said, non-plussed. "Well...thanks, I guess. It's kinda ironic how dying young makes you grow up fast, don't you think?"

For a moment there was a shocked silence. I looked at Carlisle and Esme and saw they were both looking back at me with something near worry on their faces. I gave them a small smile. "That was a joke. I've been known to make them from time to time."

"Of course." Carlisle recovered first, his expression smoothing into a calm, unruffled one. "We were just a little surprised. Elisa, we know what a hard time you're having. You don't need to put on a front with us."

I looked down for a minute and then back up into his concerned eyes. "I know I don't, and I'm not. I'm never going to be OK with what happened to me. I'm never going to get over it what it must have done to my family. But Rosalie was right about what she said to me the night I came back. I can't pretend it didn't happen, that there's going to be some kind of miracle that changes it, and neither can any of you. I have to make my peace with it somehow." I sighed, hoping we wouldn't have to get any deeper into this topic either. I'd almost rather go back to talking about my personal hopes and dreams; see how red my face could get before it actually melted off.

Across the table, Emmett grinned at me. "That's our tough girl. Energizer Elisa...she takes a licking and just keeps on ticking!"

"Emmett!" Esme looked horrified. "That is so insensitive!"

After she said that, I bit my lip, trying to keep myself under control, but then I saw Rosalie's lips quirk and that was enough to set me off. I burst into unwitting giggles, and when I caught Emmett's eye, his face somewhere still between amusement and worry that he'd gone too far, he stared at me for a moment and then began to laugh as well. Rosalie turned away from us but I could have sworn she was fighting hard to keep her own face straight. Everyone else stared, and Carlisle and Esme looked worried all over again, which was understandable considering the note of hysteria in my laughter, but I'd always had a somewhat grim sense of humor. Besides, it was my own untimely demise - I'd laugh about it if I wanted to.

When I thought that, I saw Edward's lips twitch too and then he determinedly looked away from us as well, keeping his eyes on Bella. I sobered as I realized how serious her face was...like she wasn't paying attention to the current conversation at all, but was a million miles away. I wondered if I had said something to upset her.

I looked up to see Emmett watching me, his topaz eyes a little concerned now that I wasn't laughing any longer, and I gave him a small smile.

"Hey, can you all do me a favor?" I looked around the table, not wanting the mood to turn dark and serious again. I didn't know how much more darkness I could take.

"What's that, Elisa?" Esme looked at me.

I grinned. "If sometime in the next ten years or so, I get hit by a train or piss off something else that's really big and deadly and I'm mortally injured, forget everything I said tonight and bite me anyway. I'm so over this whole dying before my time thing."

This time the laughter at the table was more whole-hearted, and nearly everybody joined in.

"Sure, Elisa." Alice said, rolling her eyes and smiling. "I_ guess _we could think it over, anyway."

I smiled and took the last bite of my spaghetti. "That's all I ask."

And with that, my first dinner with the Cullens came to a close.

_**Edward**_:

"Are you tired, Bella?" My voice was amused as I looked down at her. We were curled up on the couch in the living room, supposedly watching a movie, but if you'd asked me what the title was or what it was about, I would not have been able to tell you, and I had a feeling she wouldn't have been able to either. I'd spent the last hour and a half lost in my own thoughts, and the feeling of her in my arms.

Bella opened her eyes and lifted her head off my chest to smile at me. "No. I'm just thinking."

"About what?" I touched her face gently.

She hesitated just a moment too long before speaking. "Nothing much. Just about how fast the time is going."

"Hmmm." I knew by the tone in her voice that she was holding something back, but I played along anyway, letting my fingers play with hers, slipping around her hands as my fingers found the ring on her left finger and caressed it gently. "It's less than a month away now."

Bella tensed slightly. "I know." Her voice was flat now, and beginning to feel alarmed, I gently pushed her into a sitting position, turning her so I could look directly into her face.

"Bella, what is it?" For a moment she didn't answer, and if my useless heart had still been able to beat, it would have pounded. "Is it really such a horrible thought, marrying me?" Despite myself, I was unable to hide the worry in my voice.

To my relief, Bella laughed, and then moved closer to me to put her head on my shoulder. "No, of course not!" Her eyes sparkled up at me, but then darkened when I continued to stare at her.

"Edward..." Her voice was softer now. "You gave me an out, remember? You told me that I didn't have to go through with it, that you'd give me everything I wanted from you anyway and I said no. I _want_ to marry you. You know that, don't you?"

I exhaled, allowing my body to relax. "It is nice to hear every once in a while." I admitted ruefully.

Bella chuckled again. "You'd think after all this time, you'd be over these little insecurities." Whether she meant my time with her, or my time on this earth in general, I couldn't be sure, and before I could ask, she sat up again.

"I have to go. I promised Charlie I'd be home to cook dinner tonight. I've left him to fend for himself for too long - I'm surprised he hasn't ended up in the emergency room with food poisoning." She touched my face lightly, then gently extracted herself from my reluctant hands and stood up.

"I'll come with you." I stood up as well.

Bella smiled at me but shook her head. "I think Charlie wants to spend a little time alone with me." Suddenly she sighed. "And we don't have a lot of time left so..." She didn't finish.

"Bella." I reached out to stop her as she began to move. "Is that what's bothering you? You've been so quiet all day. I know there's something on your mind. Tell me, please!"

Bella turned back to me, looking hesitant, then she sighed again. "I tried to call Renee again today before I came over."

"Oh." I ached for her. "She didn't answer the phone again?"

"No, she did." Bella stared at the ground, her voice a mumble now. "As soon as she heard my voice, she hung up."

I felt a flash of fury as I mentally cursed her mother's unrelenting stubbornness. Didn't she have any concept of how much she was hurting her daughter? Didn't she care?

"Bella, I'm so sorry." I put my hand under her chin, taking care, as I always did, to be as gentle as possible as I lifted her face so I could look her in the eyes again. "Maybe I can try -"

Bella was shaking her head before I finished the sentence. "No. It won't make a difference. I've tried everything I can. If this is her decision then...there's nothing I can do. I can only open the door - I can't force her to walk through it."

_I could. _I thought to myself grimly. Of course Bella probably wouldn't appreciate the methods I'd use to do so. I let the dangerous thoughts die as Bella turned to pick up her purse off the coffee table.

"Let me drive you at least." I told her as we walked to the front door.

Bella smiled at me again, a bit of the sadness in her eyes vanquished. For a moment, she looked tempted, then she shook her head. "Don't be silly. I'll see you in a few hours. You will come tonight, won't you?"

"Try to keep me away." I lowered my head and pressed my lips to hers for just a second, pulling away before I gave in to the impossibly strong urge to do more.

I stood in the doorway, watching her truck disappear down the drive, staying there until her brakelights were completely out of sight, and then I turned and went back into the house. I would have pressed the issue of driving her home, knowing it wouldn't have taken much to get her to give in, but there was something else I had to do tonight, a conversation that I'd put off long enough. I stood in the living room for a moment, opening my mind, letting each and every random thought from every person inside rush into my consciousness, sifting and sorting until I found what I was looking for.

Elisa...she was in the library, but her mind...it was a hundred years away, lost in turn of the century England, in dusty garrets and evil headmistresses and fairy tales that really did come true. I turned that way, my footfalls silent until I neared the doorway, then, knowing she wouldn't appreciate it if I startled her again, I deliberately made them loud enough for her to look up from the book she was absorbed in as I entered.

"Hi, Edward." She smiled at me as she lowered the book. "Where's Bella?"

"She went home for dinner. I'll see her later." I responded, watching her. It had been over two weeks since the dinner where Elisa had told us about her life plan, and I'd been thinking about it ever since. Despite all my planning, I was wary. I was going to have to watch what I said to her very carefully. Elisa had already shown a disconcerting tendency to see through my pretenses nearly as well as if she'd been a member of our family for years. If I didn't handle this just right, she was bound to fly off the handle or worse...she'd tell Bella what I was attempting, and the thought of my fiancee's resulting fury was enough to make my immortal self quake in my shoes.

"So, Elisa...you're fifteen." I made my voice deliberately casual as I eased over to stand next to her.

"Um...yeah." She looked at me, her eyebrows raised. "What about it?"

"Well, I was just thinking." I smiled at her blandly as I sat on the couch next to her. "Isn't that about the age where you should be learning new things? Like...how to drive?"

Elisa looked a little confused, then suddenly sad. "Yeah, I guess. I was supposed to take driver's ed this year back home." She sighed.

"We do have driver's ed here too." I pointed out, keeping the fake smile fixed firmly on my face. "However...it's not quite the same without a car of your own to learn with, don't you think?"

Elisa's eyebrows shot up now. "What are you getting at?" she demanded. Great...she was already suspicious. It was just my luck to be surrounded by far too insightful females. Still, I plunged forward anyway.

"Well...I was considering buying you one." I let my smile widen. If there was ever a time I needed to dazzle someone, as Bella called it, this was it.

For a moment it seemed to be working. Elisa's eyes widened as they looked into mine, and her face flushed slightly. For a moment she was silent, just staring, then she tore her gaze away. Her face tightened and before she spoke, her thoughts let me know the game was up.

"You'll buy me a car if I do _what_?" She folded her arms across her chest, giving me a hard stare.

"Nothing much." I said. "Just...have one little conversation with Bella for me." I beamed at her. "That's all."

She wasn't softening. Her arms tightened around her chest and she straightened up. "A conversation about_ what, _exactly?"

I dropped the pretense. "About what you said a couple of weeks back. About your life plan. All those things you want to do...grow up, have children, die in peace, with your soul intact...remind her that she could have those things too. Tell her what she's giving up. _Please_."

Elisa sucked in her breath, then she glared at me, the heat of her anger palpable. "Edward Cullen...you _suck_." she hissed.

"Technically, I bite." I pointed out.

"Not the point." She spat, her voice rising. "Did you really think you could buy me off so easily?"

I sighed, my shoulders slumping. "It's a car. If you'd been any other teenager, you'd have run with it."

"Yeah, well, I'm not. What the hell is wrong with you?" Elisa jumped to her feet. "I just don't get you!"

I stood up too, but I couldn't get a word in edgewise - she was off and running at the mouth.

"I mean, you have everything!" She whirled to face me. "You have what everyone, whether they are mortal, or vampire, or werewolf, or whatever, wants! You have someone that you love more than life, someone who loves you back just as much, and she wants to be with you forever. And you just mope around like that's such a tragedy, and you try so hard to give it away! _Why_?" She put her hands on her hips, her eyes furious as they looked at me.

"Because it will _kill_ her, Elisa!" The words came out louder, with more despair then I'd intended, and she froze, staring at me. "In order to be with me, she has to die. And I promised her I'd do it, and I will...I will take her life if that's what she wants in the end. But before it's too late, I have to try and save her. I have to do this because I love her enough to want her to live, even if it's without me."

Elisa's face was gentle now, almost sad, as she looked at me. "But Edward..." Her voice was just a whisper now. "She'd die _without_ you. You have to know that by now."

I sat back down, and put my head in my hands. There were more words I could say, words that might make her understand, but I could not bring myself to say them. I just sat there for a long moment, in bleak silence until I felt Elisa sit down next to me.

"Edward..." Her voice was slightly pleading now. "I'm sorry for what I said, about you wanting to throw it all away. I guess I do understand what you're trying to do. But Bella has already made her choice. It's not right to try to guilt her out of it. She'll never change her mind and you know it."

"I should have walked away from her that first day and never come back." I whispered, almost to myself. "Look what I've condemned her to. An eternity without a soul."

Elisa stiffened and I saw out of the corner of my eye that she was giving me another ferocious glare. "How can you say that? How can you honestly say that you don't have a soul? Without a soul, how could you love as much as you do? And how do you know that vampires are so condemned anyway? I mean, I'm not super religious or anything but I believe in God and He created everything, didn't He? How do you know you're not part of the plan?"

I looked up at her, knowing my eyes and my face had gone cold. "Elisa, you are hopelessly naive."

"Maybe you're just hopelessly stubborn!" She snapped back.

That one was hard to argue with. We spent the next few minutes in stiff, awkward silence before I turned to her once more. "Elisa, please. Whether you think it's the right thing or not, just talk to her. I'm begging you."

Elisa was quiet for a long moment, then she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Edward, but I can't. I don't want to be a vampire, but if I was in Bella's shoes, everything would be different." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I'd do it. In a heartbeat. Because some things are worth dying for."

I shook my head. "You're wrong. You're young, and romantic, and naive, and you're so wrong." My voice was even lower than hers.

"I'm wrong?" Her voice was sharp, but not angry now, and it caught my attention again. "Then tell me, Edward, if the situation was reversed, if Bella was the vampire and you were the human, what would you do?" She watched my face for a long moment, then smiled. "That's what I thought."

I stood up, ignoring that last statement. "Well, I guess that's it, then. I gave it my best shot.' I looked down at her. "Is there anything I can say to make you change your mind?"

Elisa shook her head, still smiling. "Nope, sorry, Edward. I am totally on Team Bella Gets Vamped."

I watched her for a moment, and my eyes widened. "You're lying."

Elisa's jaw dropped slightly and she stared at me, looking shocked. "What? No, I'm not!"

"You are." My voice held surprise. "Elisa, I can read your mind, even those thoughts that you don't want to face yourself. You don't believe what you're saying. You have doubts."

"I -" She looked entirely unsettled. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Yes, I do." I made my voice quiet, and I stepped in front of her as she tried to leave the room. "Elisa, you understand what I'm saying better than you're letting on. Please talk to her...not for my sake, but for hers. Please tell her how you really feel."

"No!" Elisa looked angrier at me than she'd had during the entire conversation. "I'm not doing it, Edward! Leave me alone or I'll..." she stopped for a moment, sputtering impotently.

"You'll what?" My own temper was rising now at her pig-headedness and I continued to block her way. "I think I have you at just a bit of a disadvantage here."

Elisa was speechless for a moment, then suddenly she smiled wickedly, startling me. "Oh, _I'm_ not going to do anything..." she murmured sweetly, then, before I could register what she was planning, she turned towards the door. "Emmett!"

I was torn between anger and amusement as my brother appeared within a half a second, filling the doorway and looking from me to Elisa with confusion on his face. "You called, Elisa? What's up?"

Elisa took a deep breath, and I was stunned to see that her chin was trembling, her eyes downcast. "It's Edward." she sniffled, looking absolutely helpless and pathetic, even to my cynical eyes. "He's being _mean_ to me."

Emmett didn't even question her, and despite myself, I had to admire her ingenuity as he turned to me, protective big brother vibes shooting off of him as he scowled. "Alright, Edward. I'm going to give you a choice. Which arm do you want me to rip off?"

"I don't want you to fight him." Elisa said hastily, her voice slightly alarmed now. "I just want you to make him leave...please?" She batted her eyes angelically. Oh, this kid was good..._diabolically_ good.

"Thank you, Emmett!" Elisa sang out as she watched me being manhandled towards the door. She winked at me as I shot one final look at her and her thoughts came through as clear as day. '_Sorry, Edward, but you've been outdone this time. I do have my own God given talents after all...statuesque and sexy may have passed me by but being little and cute __**really**__ comes in handy sometimes.'_

I laughed about it to myself after Emmett had let me go with a growled warning as I headed down the hallway, decided to go out on a quick hunt to release the rest of my pent up frustrations before I made my way to Bella's window. Emmett had been right all along. Elisa was far tougher than she looked. She was also stubborn, tempermental, manipulative, and impulsive...she was going to fit into our family just fine. If she survived the experience, that was...

_**Elisa:**_

As I put the book away on the bedside table in my borrowed bedroom, I thought over the conversation I'd just had with Edward, and I couldn't help the smug smile that curved my lips. I supposed I really should have felt guilty for setting Emmett on his brother like that, but Edward had so had it coming. Trying to use me like that, accusing me of lying, pulling that '_I'm all powerful and you're helpless before me' _bit...he was just so irritating sometimes! He thought he knew everything, that he was always right and the rest of us, especially Bella, were just pieces to be moved on the chessboard at his discretion. I should totally tell her. She'd let him have it, I was positive of that. It would be a long, long time before he tried a stunt like that again when she was through with him.

But I wouldn't tell her, as tempting as the desire was at the moment. A much stronger need - the need to see them together, see them happy and invincible for all of eternity - trumped that. It was stupid, I knew...Edward and Bella didn't need some overly dramatic fangirl trying to protect their relationship, but I couldn't help it. After all I'd already done, I wasn't about to cause them any more strife.

"Elisa!" I jumped as someone knocked on the door frame, looking up to see Alice standing there. "Esme says dinner is ready."

"Thanks." I turned to follow her downstairs. Alice watched me as we walked down the massive staircase, her face casual.

"Jasper and I are going hunting in a few minutes. Do you need anything before we go?"

I shook my head, relieved that Esme had given up on the idea of family dinners, content now just to let me eat at the kitchen counter by myself again. "I'm good."

"Yes, you are." I looked at her, surprised by the amusement in her tone. "You're _very_ good, Elisa. I think even Edward was impressed." She was grinning now.

"Oh." I scratched my nose, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "You overheard that, did you? I guess there's no such thing as secrets in a houseful of vampires."

"Not really, no." Alice laughed lightly as we entered the kitchen. "It's nice to know you can hold your own. Edward can be...a bit _overwhelming_ at times. Anyway, I'll see you in the morning, Elisa. We need to take your measurements as soon as possible."

"My measurements for what?" I asked, surprised, but she was already gone. I shrugged, sitting down at the counter in front of the plate of food that Esme had already placed there. "Thank you." I told her, and she smiled at me, then left the room.

As I took the first few bites, Emmett walked into the room, followed closely by Rosalie, and walked over to the counter immediately. I looked at him, and what he was holding, in surprise.

"Check it out, Elisa! Rosalie and I went shopping." He indicated the stack of brightly printed, cardboard boxes in his arms. "We got every game known to man. OK, maybe just every game in the store, but you know what I mean. Scrabble, Uno, Monopoly, Life, Battleship, Parcheesi...pick one, and we'll play as soon as you're done eating."

"Um.." _We'd_ play? As in the _three_ of us? I tried to picture Rosalie putting tiny blue and pink pegs in a plastic car and failed miserably. But Emmett was still looking at me expectantly, his face hopeful, and I couldn't stand to let him down, especially after what he'd done for me earlier. I eyed the games speculatively, then pointed at the one in the middle. "Monopoly."

"Excellent." Emmett put the stack on the counter, then hopped onto the stool next to me. Rosalie stood across from us, leaning against the sink, and watched us silently, her beautiful face impassive.

"Mrs. Haversham called again today." Esme announced, coming back into the room. "She was very excited to be the first person, outside of Charlie and the wedding party, of course, to get an invitation. She talked my ear off about it. She also says Mr. Giggles is doing very well and thrilled to be back home."

"That's good." I drained my glass of lemonade, then spoke again. "I miss him, but I'm glad he's happy again."

Rosalie made a face. "_I_ don't miss that insidious little beast. He was horrible; noisy, vicious, and he peed on my favorite shoes. To think I used to love cats when I was human, too. I had the most beautiful Turkish Angora." She sighed.

I jumped off the stool to get more lemonade, going to the refrigerator and taking out the glass pitcher. "Mr. Giggles wasn't so bad." I smiled. "If you think he was awful, you should have seen my cat back home. He had serious behavioral issues for a long time...I thought Dad was going to purposefully run him over with the car someday and pretend it was an accident. One time - " I froze mid-sentence, my fingers closing convulsively hard on the pitcher. For a moment I was stiff, wide-eyed, and then I tried again. "One time - " I couldn't do it. The words wouldn't come. _Why? _What was happening now?

"Elisa?" Esme's voice was alarmed as she stared at my surely gray face. "What is it? What's wrong?" Rosalie and Emmett were staring at me too.

I couldn't speak for a moment. The pitcher slipped from my fingers and crashed, shattering all over the floor at my feet. My throat felt like it was closing up, my breath coming in gasps as I struggled for air. Dimly, I was aware of a flutter of motion, and that Carlisle had come from no where to stand beside me, but it didn't matter. "I can't remember his name." I whispered. "I can't remember my cat's name!"

"Elisa, your cat's name was Snickers. You told us that when you were here before. Don't you remember?" Esme's voice was worried.

"Snickers." I whispered. "Yes, I remember now." But... I closed my eyes, reaching for the memories, picturing him in my mind, then my family, recalling their faces one by one. I was terrified to realize how distant the visions felt, how hazy, like it had been months and months since I'd seen them all instead of weeks. I struggled, reaching out for them, for everyone I had left behind, but they were so far away...

"I'm forgetting!" I choked out, my eyes flying open. "I'm forgetting it all, my cat, my friends, my family, my whole life! It seems like it was so long ago...everything is fuzzy, like I dreamed it or it happened ages and ages ago. Why? Why is this happening to me?" I stared at Carlisle with pleading eyes, hoping that he would have some answer for me that would make it all stop.

I saw everyone exchange alarmed looks as I got more and more upset, and then Carlisle put cool, restraining fingers on my arm, stilling me. "Elisa...you're no longer part of that world. It would make sense that you're losing all your ties to it. I'm so sorry."

I turned away from his calming voice, stumbling towards the doorway, my face hot with the tears that were streaking down it. Esme came towards me, her arms outstretched, but I flinched away, hanging on to the doorsill to stay upright, my breath more ragged than ever.

"Elisa, I know how hard this is, but you must calm down." Carlisle's voice was insistent as he came close to me once more. "Jasper isn't here to help you - I'll have to get you a sedative if you can't relax. Do you think you need one?"

Numbly, I shook my head, my fingers digging hard into the doorframe as I struggled to control my breath and slow the stream of tears down my face. "I'll be - " My voice was nothing more than the thinnest whisper. "I'll be fine. I promise. I just need to be alone right now. I'm sorry." And with that, I stumbled out of the kitchen and ran up the steps to Alice's room, throwing her door open and closed again behind me. I threw myself on the bed, burying my face in the pillow to muffle my sobs and praying that for once they would heed me and not follow...

Awareness came slowly back, creeping around me in the dark and nudging me awake. I opened my eyes reluctantly. I never thought I'd be able to sleep but the stiffness of my limbs told me that I had, and apparently for hours. I was still in my clothes, but someone had thrown a light blanket over me and removed my shoes - probably Esme. I lay there in silence for a moment, wondering how late it was and then realizing I didn't care in the least. I stared upwards, at the ceiling I could barely see, realizing now that I had dreamt. Dreams of my family, my mother, father, and Colby, their faces floating in and out of my head, me running after their far away, distant figures, begging them not to leave me behind, over and over and over again.

There was a barely perceptible shift next to me, a luminous figure detaching them from the shadows as they moved in the rocking chair next to the bed, and I gasped, sitting up.

"Esme?" I put a hand over my pounding heart.

"No." The low voice came out of the darkness, and I instantly realized my mistake, for I could see her now. Rosalie, her hair and translucent skin lit up by the moonlight streaming in through the windows. She went to stand as I stared at her. "I'll get her."

"No! It's OK. It's just that I thought...well, she sits in here with me a lot when she thinks I don't know." I managed a slight smile, forced as it felt.

"I know." Rosalie looked at me. "Carlisle had to talk her out of it tonight. I would have left you alone as well, but you were so restless. I thought you must be having nightmares." Her voice was tentative.

"I was." I whispered. "Thank you."

Rosalie shrugged. I continued to watch her in the gloom, as she set the book she'd apparently been reading back down on the bedside table. I recognized it instantly as the book I'd found in the library earlier and had been reading all night.

"_A Little Princess_." I whispered as she followed my gaze. "I used to love that book so much when I was little."

Rosalie smiled slightly. "I did as well." she admitted.

"Oh. Is this yours?" I blushed a little. "Sorry, I guess I should have asked."

Rosalie smiled a little bit more now. "It doesn't matter. I know it by heart...there's really no need to read it now. It's just...sentimental, I suppose."

I nodded, knowing she could see me far more clearly than I could see her, and then I scooted back, so that I was still sitting up, but leaning against the headboard. We were both quiet for a moment, but it was a comfortable quiet, not one of the tense silences that usually lingered between us.

After a long moment, she spoke again. "Are you alright, Elisa?"

"No." My response was immediate, uncensored. Somehow, I just could not bring myself to lie to her.

"I didn't think so." Her voice maintained that same careful tone. She paused for another lingering moment before speaking once more. "I'm sorry for what is happening to you."

"It's not fair." I whispered, struggling not to break down once more. "The universe already took my family and my life. Now it wants my memories too? What's going to be left to take when it's done with me?"

Rosalie turned her head to look at me more fully. "It will be easier for you, Elisa, forgetting. Kind oblivion swooping in to take all the pain away. Wouldn't you prefer that?"

"No!" My voice was a hiss now. "I won't let myself forget! I don't care how hard it is to hold on or how much it hurts. It will hurt my family forever to think of me. How can I do anything less for them?"

Rosalie stood up then, and I thought she was leaving. Surprise shot through me as she came closer to the bed, then sat down on it, next to me. "Forcing yourself not to let go, when everything in this world seems to be conspiring against you, to take it all away whether you're willing or not, is a very hard road to choose, Elisa. The pain, the memories of everything you've lost, that is a burden only the strongest can bear."

I turned to look at her lovely profile. "Like you." I whispered.

Her answering smile was deeper than any she'd ever given me before. "Yes. And _you_."

I pondered that as the minutes ticked by. Rosalie seemed perfectly content to sit quietly beside me, nearly motionless except for her almost imperceptible breathing, as I let my mind wander over everything that had happened that evening.

Finally, I gathered my courage and spoke again. "Rosalie?" I stopped, unsure of my words, then forced myself to begin again when she looked at me, eyebrows slightly raised. "I'm really sorry about what happened to you too. At least for me it was quick."

Rosalie was frozen, silent for a moment, and I regretted my careless words. But when she spoke, her voice wasn't any cooler...it was the same, unruffled tone it had been before. "I should have known that you would know my story." She looked at me. "It's alright. I won't say I'm over it - you would know better than anyone what a lie that is. But I've learned to accept, if not forgive. You will as well."

I did understand that all too well. I thought of Scott now, seeing his face as he raised his weapon, gun aimed at my heart. I remembered his mocking words, his threats, what he had said that had brought me out of my safe haven and into his line of fire and I realized, somewhere deep in the screaming darkness and nightmares of the past weeks, that I had learned to hate. No, I would never forgive, even if it gave me peace, even if it made me a better person. Hating him was my right, and I wouldn't deny myself.

These thoughts led to more questions for the only person in the world that I realized could really understand. "Rosalie?" I didn't let myself pause this time - if she got angry, I'd understand, but I had to ask anyway. "When you killed those men that hurt you, did it make it better?"

Rosalie exhaled deeply, but she didn't seem surprised, nor upset, at my question. "I suppose the simplest answer to that, Elisa, is that it filled one hole and created another. Still, if I had to do it over again, I'd do the same thing and accept my small penance as the punishment I deserve. I'd hurt them...I'd rejoice in their screams just like I did before, slaughter each and every single one of them, then dance on their graves. It was the only path I could take, the only way I could move on, the only justice I would ever get."

"I understand." My voice was a low murmur, but she heard it anyway.

"You know what, Elisa? I believe you actually do." Rosalie was staring ahead now, into the darkness. Many more minutes passed before she looked at me once more. "It's late. You really do need to rest. Alice has a lot of plans for you tomorrow." She moved off the bed and I sat up in alarm, not wanting to be left alone.

Despite my sudden fear, I wasn't going to ask her to stay, but Rosalie seemed to read my expression clearly. She hesitated, then turned away from the doorway and picked up _A Little Princess _and took it back to the rocking chair, sitting down. "My mother used to read this to me when I was a child, every single night. Sometimes she begged me to pick something different, anything else...she was so tired of it, but I never let her. Would you like me to read to you, Elisa?"

"Yes." I whispered gratefully, sliding back down on the pillows slightly and pulling the blanket back over me.

Rosalie smiled at me once more then opened the book, not needing any other light but the moon that illuminated her perfection so well. Her golden voice was captivating, sweeping me away instantly into another world once more as she began to read.

_"Once, on a dark winter's day, when the yellow fog hung so thick and heavy in the streets of London that the lamps were lighted and the shop windows blazed with gas as they do at night, an odd-looking little girl sat in a cab with her father..." _

I let myself get lost in the story once more, falling into it as I would fall into the deepest, dreamless slumber, but before I was completely under its spell, one small, rather unwelcome thought reared its head, forcing me to acknowledge it.

Edward had been right. I hadn't been honest with him earlier when I told him, without reservations, that I wanted Bella to become a vampire. He wasn't exactly right about the doubts he thought I was having though, but there was something that I could not get past, and now, with everything that had happened this evening giving me new knowledge, I realized what it was.

And whether I wanted to or not, I was going to have to talk to her after all.

_**Bella:**_

Edward opened the front door before I even knocked, smiling at me with that crooked grin that never failed to take my breath away. For a minute, I forgot what I was doing and I just stood there, staring dumbly at him, until he raised an eyebrow.

"Are you going to stand here all day or are you coming in?" He reached out to touch my face, then down for my hand, tugging me over the doorway and into the foyer. "Alice is waiting upstairs for you. She wanted you to be the one to break the big news to Elisa."

I smiled reluctantly as I walked with him. "Always one for the dramatics, that Alice." My fingers tightened around his. "I'm sorry I had to make you leave so soon this morning. I didn't expect Charlie to want to have a heart to heart so early."

Edward smiled more brightly now. "How did that go, anyway?"

I rolled my eyes. "Awkwardly. The gist of it was, he wanted me to know, _again_, that if I thought I was making a mistake and wanted to call off the wedding, it was alright with him." I sighed, then smiled. "But then he said that if I really had my heart set on going through with it, he was happy for me. And I think he actually might have meant it. A little. That's something, isn't it?"

Edward reached down to frame my face with his large hands, his eyes tender. "That's definitely something. From Charlie, that's rather earth-shattering, actually."

"I know." We were stopped now, at the foot of the grand staircase, face to face. I put my hand over his cool one, still resting on my cheek. "Maybe with a little more luck like that, Renee just might come around after all."

"Perhaps." Edward agreed, but his eyes were cautious now. I understood - he didn't me to get my hopes up. I didn't really either, when it came to that.

As I watched him, Edward suddenly lifted his head as if someone had called his name. Then he gazed back down at me, his smile back. "Go on upstairs and see Alice. I'll be right there...Carlisle wants to talk to me about some of our plans for after the wedding."

I wanted to ask him what plans, specifically, but he was looking away from me now, in the direction of the dining room where Carlisle must have been waiting for him. Reluctantly, I pulled myself away. "Alright, but hurry. Once Alice gets her claws into me, she's liable to drag me into some matrimonial duty, like cake tasting, and I won't get to see you for the rest of the day."

"Horrors." He looked as aghast as I was sure I did for a moment, then his lips twitched. "I promise, I'll be right there."

I walked up the staircase alone, realizing as I reached the second floor that I wasn't exactly positive where Alice was. I didn't have to wonder long though...as I looked up and down the hallway I saw her, standing framed in the doorway of her bedroom with her back turned to me, seeming intent on something that was going on inside. Curious now, I came up behind her. "Alice, what - " I stopped as I looked over her shoulder, no longer needing to ask what it was that she was staring at. Elisa and Rosalie were perched on the edge of the neatly made bed, bent over something that was lacy and covered with tiny pearls, something that I recognized immediately as my wedding dress. The bodice was in Elisa's lap and she was bent over it in intense concentration, a threaded needle pinched in her fingers. Rosalie was instructing her carefully on exactly what to do with it, directing its every movement in a voice that was gentler than I'd ever heard from her before.

Alice was looking at me now, and when I caught her eye, she shrugged. "I know." She whispered. "I can barely believe it myself but I think they've..._bonded_." She stared at them again.

"What are they doing with my dress?" I whispered back, stupidly, because I knew full well Rosalie could hear my every word even if Elisa couldn't.

Alice sighed now, and her voice returned to its normal volume. "Some of the bodice stitching was a little bit looser than I'd like. I asked Rosalie to re-do it. She's an excellent seamstress; better than me, actually."

Rosalie looked up now, and her responding smile was just a bit smug. "We can't all have the glamorous jobs like you, Alice. Somebody has to do the grunt work."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yes, well, it's not that I don't appreciate it, or that I don't think it's lovely you decided to teach Elisa how to sew too, but did you really think the best piece for her trial run is Bella's _wedding dress_?" Her voice was strained.

Rosalie's smile tightened slightly. "I'm watching her, Alice. She's doing fine so far, and I won't let her make any mistakes that I can't fix. You underestimate me." I thought I heard her add a softly hissed 'as usual', but it could have been my imagination.

"It's fine, Alice." I said hastily, not wanting another argument with Rosalie. "I'm sure Elisa will do a wonderful job."

At the sound of her name, Elisa finally lifted her head to look at me and I was surprised by her face. It looked...different somehow. She was pale, and there were dark shadows under her eyes, almost as if she were a true Cullen, but that wasn't what pulled me up short. Her expression was...older, as if she'd aged a year or two overnight, and suddenly I could see, underneath the delicate cuteness that had almost everyone she met doting over her, the potential for beauty that I'd always suspected was there. The child within her was dying much more rapidly than I would have thought even a day or two ago. Absently, I wondered if something had happened while I was gone, but then she was speaking, and I lost my train of thought.

"Your dress is beautiful, Bella." Her voice was the same as ever...maybe I was imagining things.

"It's all because of Alice, but thank you." I smiled back, realizing now was as good of a time as any for my announcement. "Yours is going to be too."

"Mine?" Elisa looked bewildered. "What do you mean?"

My smile widened. "Your bridesmaid dress, of course. Isn't Alice taking your measurements today?"

Elisa's eyes widened. "What?" She looked back and forth from me to Alice, who was smiling at her too. "You want me to be one of your bridesmaids? Are you _serious_?" Her eyes narrowed for a moment. "Is this a pity thing? Wait, don't answer that. I don't care." She beamed at me. "I can't believe I'm going to be a part of your wedding!"

"Believe it." I grinned back at her. "I'm glad you're happy and that you accept. And it's not out of pity that I'm asking, by the way. We're family now, and I want to share this day with you."

Elisa's eyes suddenly looked damp, and abruptly, Rosalie plucked the needle out of her hand. "I think that's enough for now, Elisa. We'll finish this tonight. It's breakfast time for you anyway, and don't even try to tell me you're not hungry...you need to eat." Carefully, she picked up my wedding dress and laid it flat on Alice's bed, and then stood up, gesturing for Elisa to do the same.

Elisa was smiling resignedly as she obediently followed Rosalie out the door, but I noticed that her face was absent of any kind of intimidation or fear. Yesterday, if Rosalie had spoken to her that sternly, she would have been nearly shaking in her shoes, just like I still had a tendency to when Rosalie turned her blazing eyes my way, but now...well, it looked like Alice was right. They really _had_ bonded. I felt a tiny stab of jealousy but shrugged it off immediately, feeling petty. Rosalie no doubt considered Elisa far more sensible than she did me. And Elisa, after all she'd been through, needed as many people on her side as she could get.

As the two of them disappeared out of the room, Edward was suddenly there by my side. He looked after Elisa and Rosalie for a moment as they made their way downstairs, his eyes speculative. "Well, that's...new."

He turned back to me and smiled. "I had an idea. If you don't have any plans today, I think we should strike while the iron is hot and go see Charlie. We can go down to the station and offer to take him out for lunch. If we ask in front of his co-workers, he's far less likely to refuse." His eyes danced as they looked into mine. "What do you think?"

I laughed. "Sneaky." I mused for a moment. "You know, despite whatever he said to me this morning, he's going to be a horrible grouch to you anyway."

Edward shrugged. "I know. But we don't have many of these opportunities left. We might as well make the most of them while we can."

I ignored the now familiar clenching of my heart at those words. "You're right." I agreed, looking into his golden eyes until the pain eased, then evaporated. "Let's go."

We walked down the staircase hand in hand, talking idly about Charlie and where we could take him. We were almost at the door when Edward suddenly stopped. Abruptly, he turned around, and then looked towards the kitchen.

"What is it?" I asked him, knowing by his expression that he'd just been summoned. "Does Carlisle need to talk to you again?"

"No." Edward took my shoulder and gently turned me around, so I could see Elisa, who was walking into the main room now with her eyes fixed on me, her face unsmiling. "It's Elisa, and she wants to talk to _you_." For a quick moment, his eyes looked pained, but the look was gone so quick that I wondered if I'd just imagined that too. He touched my face lightly. "I'll be in Carlisle's study." Before I could object, he was gone.

"Bella." Elisa looked nervous now, shuffling from foot to foot. "I guess you know I want to talk to you. Can we sit down?"

Mystified, but with a growing suspicion about what was going on, and my _sneaky_ fiance's hand in it, I followed her to the sofa and sat down next to her, waiting for her to begin.

Elisa shuffled a bit until she was angled slightly to face me, then took a deep breath before she spoke. "OK, this is totally none of my business and I don't blame you if you get mad, but I wanted to ask you - " she cut herself off for a moment, as if seeking courage, then continued. "About your um...future plans. You know, where you, uh..."

I clenched my teeth. I _was_ getting mad, but not at her. I knew now what this was about. "Where I become a vampire." I looked at her. "Edward put you up to this, didn't he? I shouldn't even be surprised. I knew this was coming, ever since the night Rosalie asked you why you didn't want to be a vampire. It was just too much of an opportunity for him to pass up. Oooh...he is so going to get it!" I almost stood up to go raging after him immediately, but Elisa reached out a hand to stop me.

"Bella, it's not like that." I stared her down for a moment and she flushed. "OK, it's a little like that. Edward did ask me to talk to you, but I told him no. It's just that...I thought about it, and there _is_ something I need to say. It's not exactly what he wanted me to say though." Her lips quirked. "He actually might even be a bit mad at me, when I'm done, but this isn't about him. It's about you."

"Alright." I said slowly. "You've got my attention, Elisa. Go ahead."

Elisa twined her fingers together, moving them restlessly. "I was just wondering about...well, about your parents. What you're going to do about them after you change."

I frowned slightly. "Elisa, you know how dangerous newborn vampires are, right? I won't be able to be around them at all for a long time. I won't be able to be around anyone."

Elisa sighed, and I saw she'd gone slightly teary-eyed again. "I know. Carlisle already told me that you and Edward are going to have to leave because of me. I'm sorry."

I started to object to her apology but she raised a hand to stop me, shaking her head. "We can have that conversation later, Bella. I do understand about the newborn phase. But after that...then what? Will you stay in touch with them?"

I sighed now, looking down at the floor. "For a while. I'll send them emails and letters...maybe after a few years I might even visit once or twice. But eventually..." I bit my lip. "It's too dangerous for them, Elisa, to be so close to a secret that they could be killed for figuring out. The best thing for them is for me to fade out of their lives."

Elisa exhaled, and the tears in her eyes became more evident. As she looked at me, I was startled to see a bit of anger creeping into her expression.

"You're going to give them up, just like that." Her voice was flat. "Do you really think it will be that easy?"

"No!" The words exploded out of me as I remembered how Rosalie had hissed nearly that same phrase at me a few weeks ago. "I don't think it will be easy, Elisa, but it's the only way!"

"No, it's not!" Elisa's voice was rising in volume now. "Why can't you try, Bella? Whatever you have to do to keep your family in your life, even if it's only for monthly telephone calls and a once a year visit, do it. It's the new millenia...things aren't the same as they are when Edward became a vampire. You can do things to fake being human. Get a wig, or extensions, add some fake gray later on. Wear some makeup, powder down your skin, hire a freaking make up artist to give you wrinkles for a day if you have to. Do anything but give up! You don't know what you're going to lose, Bella. You don't know how much it will hurt, but you will, I promise you that, and if you haven't done everything in your power to hold on to them, you'll never forgive yourself." Her eyes were blazing now as she glared at me, and for a brief moment, I wondered if Rosalie had been giving her glowering lessons. The resemblance between the two of them at the moment was shocking.

"Elisa, it's just not that simple." I couldn't bring myself to be angry at her, despite the fact that she was clearly upset with me. Of course Elisa would over-identify with the loss of my family, of course she would be upset that I could turn my back on what she'd lost so painfully. But there was so much she didn't understand...

That notion was set on its head a moment later when Elisa spoke once more, her voice quieter now, her face less tense. "I really do understand why you've chosen this path, Bella. And if I were you, I think I would do the same. I just think that you aren't seeing all the possibilities. And if you really honestly believe that it's not possible to keep your family in your life, then give Edward what he wanted. Give him more time. Give _yourself_ more time. What's five years in the face of eternity? Five more years for the people you love...it it really so much to ask?"

"Elisa, I..." My voice trailed off. I could not find the right words to say. Instead, I just looked at her, her face worried now, afraid that she'd pushed me too far. "Thank you. I know that you mean well, and I promise you, I will think over what you said."

"That's all I ask." She smiled weakly at me, and we both stood up. "I'm sorry I upset you."

"It's OK." Impulsively, I leaned over and hugged her small frame. "I know it must have been hard for you to say all that to me."

Elisa shrugged. "A little." She shuffled her feet once again. "At least it's over with and I don't have to worry about it anymore." She smiled at me. "I won't bring it up again, I promise. Whatever you decide, I'll support you. Just keep your promise...think about it." And with that, she turned, walking back towards the kitchen.

"Edward." I said flatly, my arms crossed over my chest as I stood there. "I know you're listening. Get down here."

Before I had time to blink, he was in front of me, his eyes gazing anxiously into mine. He tried to smile, but it twitched and fell flat when he met my eyes. "Are you very, very angry with me, Bella?"

I bit my lip. "No." I said softly, and was gratified to see the surprise on his face.

"No?" He echoed in disbelief. "Is this a trick?"

I shook my head. "No, it's not a trick. I _was_ mad at you, but I'm not now."

"Oh." I could see the indecision in his eyes, as he wondered if he should press the issue or take his seemingly dumb luck and run with it. Apparently the second option won out, because the next question he asked me was "Should we go then?"

"No." I looked him full in the face, wanting him to see the seriousness of my expression. "I'm not ready to go anywhere with you, Edward, not out to lunch with my father, not back upstairs to make more wedding plans, not down the aisle, and certainly not back down the road to La Push and Jacob Black, or any of the other paths that you want to lead me down because you think you're doing it for my own good. We're not going anywhere until we work this out, once and for all."

_**To Be Continued...**_

_In the next chapter, Edward is stunned by what Bella has to say. What he has to decide next could change their entire future._

_Also, Elisa and Edward have a moment...too bad that for Elisa, it's an extremely mortifying one..._

_Song line is from Hear You Me, by Jimmy Eats World._

_._

_I love feedback. Go on and leave me some...you know you want to!  
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	5. Forever

Welcome to Chapter Five of Evening Falls! Again, THANK YOU all so much for the great reviews! They are so much appreciated and inspire me greatly.

And you all know that Twilight, its characters and storylines all belong to the fantastic and way cooler than me Stephenie Meyers. Elisa, however, is all mine.

Chapter Five of Evening Falls

Forever

_'Lose your way_

_and I will follow...'_

**Elisa:**

"Elisa, stop biting your nails!"

Rosalie's sharp voice broke into my thoughts, turning me away from the dining room window. Guiltily, I put my hand down, but evidence of my newly acquired, post-untimely death habit was clear in my jagged, uneven fingernails. Rosalie's eyes followed my gaze and she shook her head.

"They're a mess. I'll have to give you a manicure soon, if you leave me any nails to work with." She frowned at me. "What are you moping about, anyway?"

"Not upset that Rosalie buried us, are you, kid?" Emmett asked before I could answer. He was standing at the dining room table, putting the final pieces of the Monopoly game back in the box. "Gotta get used to that...my Rose doesn't like to lose."

"No, it's not that." I turned back to the window, looking towards the trees. "I'm worried about Bella and Edward." I sighed heavily. "I never should have opened my big mouth."

Of course they knew what I was talking about without even having to ask. Like Alice had told me, there was no such thing as secrets in a houseful of vampires.

"Come on, Elisa, it's no big deal." Emmett followed my gaze to where we'd seen Edward and Bella disappear over twenty minutes ago, both of them looking tense. "After all they've been through, it would take more than one little fight to mess things up for them."

"Fight? FIGHT?" My voice was panicky now. "I thought they were just going to talk!"

Rosalie tossed Emmett a sharp look and then rolled her eyes at me. "Elisa, are you always this overdramatic?" She demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

I bit my lip. "Generally...um, yes." I admitted.

"Well, stop it. It's annoying." Though Rosalie's words were pointed, her smile gave her away. "And by the way, you did the right thing. Bella needed to hear what you told her."

I was a little surprised at that, especially since part of what I'd told Bella was how I understood why she was planning to become a vampire. I had been pretty sure that Rosalie would disapprove of that part of the conversation. I opened my mouth to ask her to explain further what she meant, but then changed my mind. Things had thawed heavily between us in the last twenty-four hours, but she was still a little intimidating, and I didn't feel like reminding her about how wildly our opinions on Bella's future plans varied.

"So what do you want to do now, kid?" Emmett asked me, coming to stand beside me.

"I don't know." I murmured absentmindedly, and then frowned. "Are Carlisle and Esme still upstairs? They've been in his study for hours. Is everything OK?"

"Of course." Emmett grinned at me. "They're just making plans. You know we're leaving right after the wedding but they still gotta figure out where we're going to go, now that Alaska with Edward and Bella is out."

I felt a wave of familiar guilt as I thought about that, but fought it down impatiently as I considered what he had said. It was so weird to think of Forks without the Cullens. It did make me feel bad that my being there had changed so much for them...because it was too dangerous for me to be around Bella when she was a raging newborn, they were splitting up. I already knew enough about their plans to understand the basics. Immediately after the wedding, we were leaving. Edward and Bella would stay behind at the house for a few days, to have some privacy, then travel to wherever we were so that Carlisle could join them. He'd accompany them to Alaska, to oversee Bella's change just in case, then rejoin us in a few weeks.

Once they left though, it could be years before I saw Edward and Bella again. Just thinking about that brought a lump to my throat and made my eyes burn, but I fought the tears back as well. I'd cried enough in the past few weeks...I didn't need to fall apart again.

To keep myself from lingering on the upcoming separation, I sat back down at the table, looking up at Rosalie and Emmett expectantly. "Any idea at all where we're going?" I asked curiously.

Emmett shrugged. "Not really, but I can guarantee you it will be somewhere gloomy."

I thought about the myriad of possibilities for a moment and then brightened. "London?" I asked hopefully. "I've always wanted to live in England..." My voice trailed off as I thought about that. Hmmm, maybe not. With my crazy luck, the first time I went to King's Cross Station I'd stumble, hit my head, and wake up at Hogwarts. Just imagine all the trouble I could cause with a wand...

"I think Carlisle is pretty much over London." Emmett replied with a grin, almost as if he could read my mind as well. "Maybe Ireland though...who knows?"

That question was answered quickly as suddenly Alice appeared in the doorway, a slightly smug smile curving her lips. "I do." She said brightly. "We're having a family meeting - they've decided." She glided into the dining room, taking a seat across the table from me. Jasper was right behind her, taking the seat next to her.

"Are you going to clue us in, Alice?" Rosalie raised her eyebrows as she and Emmett sat down as well.

Alice's grin became even more smug. "Nope. They're on their way down though...you can wait a few more seconds."

Rosalie's eyes narrowed, but before she could say anything else Carlise and Esme were there, not seeming surprised in the least to see us already gathered and awaiting them. "Thank you, Alice." Carlisle smiled at her as he took his seat at the head of the table, Esme on his right. "I suppose you all know what this is about."

Emmett shifted in his seat, looking restless. "OK, enough with the big build-up. Where are we going?'

Carlisle and Esme exchanged smiles, then both looked at me at the same time, waiting for my reaction. "North...much further north. We're moving toCanada."

**Bella:**

I barely noticed the rush of the wind around me, the trees flying by, as I clung to Edward's back as he ran. My mind was far away, busy, trying to prepare for the sure to be intense discussion we were about to have. I sighed as I thought about it. I should have realized earlier that we hadn't really resolved this, but I'd stubbornly buried my head in the sand, telling myself it was all going to be OK, and now my denial was coming back to bite me. Despite myself, my lips twitched at my own choice of words, but then my almost smile fell apart as I remembered that if Edward had his way, denial was the only thing that would _ever_ bite me.

Edward was slowing now, and I looked ahead to see the the trees give way to the clearing...our meadow lay directly ahead. Despite my nervousness, I felt some of my trepidation ease as I slid off his back and we walked hand in hand to the place that would always have so much meaning for us, no matter how much time passed, no matter how far away we wandered. It was beautiful here again today, as usual. There hadn't been enough sun or heat this summer to kill off the late spring wildflowers, and they still sprouted throughout the grass, dotting the landscape with color. Rays of sunlight was still breaking through the cloud cover, and I led him to a spot where one lit the ground, hoping it would be a bit warmer there.

We were silent for several minutes, sitting on the ground. I leaned back into Edward's arms, resting my back and head against his hard chest as he played with a few strands of my hair. He was clearly as reluctant to start this conversation as I was. I waited for a while, just to see if he'd get tired of waiting and break the silence first, but he'd learned patience in his many years on this earth. I sighed. What I was about to say was going to hurt him and make this a very difficult afternoon for both of us, but I couldn't hold back. Not today. Not when our whole future was riding on us getting everything out into the open.

I straightened up, turning in his arms so that I could look into his face, and took a deep breath.

"Are you leaving me again, Edward?"

Whatever he'd been expecting me to say, it wasn't that. My heart tore a bit as I watched the pain twist his face, his eyes staring at me in shock.

"How can you _even __**think**__ that_?" His voice was strangled.

I wanted to take the words back, stroke his face and assure him that I hadn't thought it at all, that it was just a careless slip of the tongue, but I couldn't. Reminding myself of my promise to be completely honest, to get it all out, I plunged forward.

"Because that's what this feels like to me. I thought we'd made our decisions, that you were done with going behind my back, trying to do what you think is right for me, but I was wrong. So answer the question, please. Are you having doubts enough that you've decided that a future with you isn't right for me? Is that what this is about?"

"NO!" The word burst forth. "Bella, I want to _marry_ you. I want to be with you always. I will _never_ leave you again...you have to believe that!" He pulled me back towards him, taking my face in his hands. "Please tell me you believe me!"

I smiled more easily now, the bands that had constricted my heart the past few minutes loosening their grip. For a moment our eyes locked together, then I nodded. "I believe you. I guess I just needed to hear it again." Reaching out, I touched his face, wanting the pain in his eyes to disappear. "I want to be with you always too. I just wish you weren't trying so hard to make sure that our 'always' has an expiration date."

Edward's eyes had cleared for a moment, but now they clouded again. "Bella, you have to understand - "

I put a finger to his lips, silencing him. "I _do_ understand. I meant it when I said I wasn't angry with you. I know that you believe you're doing the right thing, because you believe so much that you're condemning me to losing my humanity, maybe even my soul. Isn't that what this is about?"

He had stiffened for a minute, and now he nodded slowly. "I know you think you've made your decision, Bella, but I had to try. I don't want you to be damned. I don't want you to lose anything. I don't want you to ever have any regrets."

_Now_ my temper was beginning to rise a bit. I had to take a deep breath before I said something I'd be sorry for, choosing my words carefully before I spoke. "And you're really so sure that I don't understand what I'm doing? That I haven't thought this out? Edward, at some point you have to give me a little credit here. You can't read my mind, so stop assuming that you know what I have and have not considered. I know exactly what I'm giving up. My parents, my human future, children, growing old,...and if you don't think that I understand how precious those things are then you've seriously underestimated me. What _you_ don't understand is that I want you and I want eternity to spend at your side _more_. I don't ever want to have to be without you, Edward...it would make everything else meaningless. _Everything_."

"And your soul, Bella?" Edward's voice was a whisper now as he stared down at me. "Would it make that meaningless too?"

I stared back at him, reading every nuance of his perfectly sculpted face, from the slight, downward turn of his mouth to the shadows under his eyes. Then I lifted my gaze to his eyes, examining the haunted look in them, the look that I'd hoped my words would have chased away by now. What more could I do? What could I say to make this right for both of us?

As I sat there, watching the emotions play across his face, I felt the squeeze on my heart begin once more. No, it wasn't just being squeezed...it felt like it was dying. The breath was being forced out of my chest, and I had to grip his hand tightly to keep from gasping for air. Something was occurring to me now, something that I had never seriously considered before, something that was ripping me in half.

Something that I had to do...for him.

"You really believe it, don't you, that because of you I'll be damned forever?" I turned away so he couldn't see the tears filling my eyes.

"I don't know." His voice was just a whisper now, barely audible to my ears. "I just know that if there's even a chance, I'll never forgive myself."

I closed my eyes at those words, and the tears spilled out from under the tightly shut lids. It was a moment before I could trust myself to speak without sobbing. "OK then. I guess that decides it." My voice was hoarse, and abruptly Edward turned me around, staring in horror at the tears on my face.

"Don't cry, Bella, please! I don't understand what you're saying. Decides _what_?" His voice was anxious as his cool fingers wiped the moisture from my skin.

I inhaled deeply, and then looked back up at him. "Edward, no matter what you say, I know you have a soul. I'm not hoping, or guessing...I _know_. I feel it...I've felt it from the moment I first saw you. It's so bright that it drew me in and bound me to you, like nothing I've ever, ever felt before. And because I know that, I can't do this to you."

"Do _what_ to me?" He was still staring at me, his jaw set tightly, his eyes alternately confused and frightened.

I shook my head, unable to keep looking at his face, knowing if I did I would break down. "I won't condemn _you_, Edward. I won't force you to do something you believe so strongly is wrong, no matter how much I disagree. I won't put that on your soul. I can't have you going through eternity with regrets either."

Edward's eyes were impatient now, and he opened his mouth to demand more of an explanation, but I held up a hand to stop the question. "I've decided." I couldn't stop the fresh onslaught of tears now. "I'm staying human."

_"What?" _ Edward's face was absolutely stunned. "What are you talking about, Bella? You've changed your mind? I thought this was what you wanted!"

"It is." I wiped my face, but the tears would not stop coming. "More than anything. But it's not what _you_ want, and I meant what I said. I won't do that to you. I've told you before, your soul is too important for me to take chances with. So there's no other option. You can't make me leave you regardless. I will marry you, and I will spend the rest of my life with you. I'll age, if I make it that long, and I'll die, with you at my side, if that's the only way you'll have peace. But you have to promise me something, Edward." I turned towards him again, my face determined.

"What?" His voice was still a shocked whisper.

I took his hands in mine and held them as tightly as I could. "You have to promise me that you won't come after me when I die. Suicide's a sin too, after all." I managed a shaky smile, but obviously it looked as fake as it felt because his expression didn't lighten at all. "I won't be responsible for your death...I can't carry that on my conscience. Not again."

His eyes were hollow now. "I can't promise that, Bella. Wherever you go, I will follow."

"Edward, _please_!" I let go of his hands, then drew up my knees, pressing my face into the denim of my jeans, knowing that he could still hear my sobs even if he could no longer see my expression. "Please, I'm begging you! How can I go through life knowing that every day I have left is a day that brings you closer to your own death? You're not _meant_ to die, Edward. Destiny has seen to that."

"Bella..." His voice was agonized.

He didn't finish his sentence and for a long time, we just sat there, my sobs finally slowing and then stopping. When I finally felt I had myself under control enough, I wiped my eyes, and lifted my face to his. He was staring at me with so much pain in his face that it almost set me off again.

"Please don't look at me like that, Edward." I whispered. "I thought you would be relieved. What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking..." His voice faltered for a moment, then began again. "I'm thinking of what it would be like to have to live without you again. And I'm thinking...that I can't."

"Edward." I clenched my teeth together. "I'm staying mortal for you, because you didn't want to condemn me, so don't. Don't put your life in my hands...it's not fair."

Abruptly, he stood up, and then stared across the meadow, his back to me. I stood too, standing behind him, waiting. For another endless moment he was quiet, then the words he spoke were so quiet, and so not what I expected to hear from him, that it took me a moment to register them.

"I don't want you to stay mortal."

I wondered if I had imagined it. "What?"

He turned to me now, and his expression was set, determined. "I'm thinking that maybe it's time I had faith in someone other than myself."

I was instantly confused. "I don't understand what you mean."

He shoved his hands in his pockets, then crossed the foot between us. "Do you really believe I have a soul, Bella? That I'm not damned? That if I turn you, you won't be damned either? Do you truly, honestly believe that?"

My head was spinning now, my heart pounding. "Yes. I absolutely believe that."

"OK." To my immense surprise, his mouth twitched into a smile.

"OK? OK? Edward, tell me what you're talking about!"

"I'm talking about you and me, together. Always." His eyes were smoldering once more now as they blazed into mine, and for several seconds I forgot how to breathe. "I'm saying that I believe in you, and no matter what I said, or what I tried to do, I've always wanted you to be with me for all of eternity. I tried to deny it, but now that I have a choice, now that I've pushed you far enough into a corner that you're willing to give up immortality for me, I have to confess that I'm too selfish to let you."

He waited a moment for my response but I couldn't form words. He just couldn't be saying what I thought he was saying...there was no way. I was dreaming again...I _had_ to be. This was just too perfect to be real.

"Bella, please say something." Edward put his hands on my shoulder, tilting my chin up to face him.

"Are you serious?" I blurted out. "Do you mean it, Edward? Can you change me without regrets, without always feeling like you should have done more to keep me human? Can you really believe that it won't damn either one of us?"

He hesitated for just a moment, but the smile, covering up the deeper emotion, stayed on his face. "I can't promise to do a complete 180 right away. I began to lose my faith when I was lying in the hospital during my last few human days, hearing my mother despair over my father and than me, listening to other parents weeping over the tiny bodies of their children, seeing whole families destroyed. When I woke, found out I'd survived it all only to become a monster, that took the last vestiges of hope I had away. But I meant what I said. Everything is different now. I've discovered more reason and rhyme in this universe than I'd ever thought possible. I believe in _you_ and I am willing to believe that we were led together for a reason, not just to lose each other again. So what do you say, Bella? Will you stay with me? Forever?"

It was another long, intense moment before I could force my numb mouth to open. Finally, as I looked into his face, seeing the darkness gone, nothing but hope, light, and love left, the word that I needed to say finally bubbled to the surface.

"Yes, Edward. Forever."

**Edward**:

It is a never ending surprise to me, despite my excessive number of years, how quickly life can change. One second you know who you are, where you're going, who you'll be with on the way, and then fate steps in, everything you know collapses, and your world has to be rebuilt from the ground up. It had happened to me before, more than once. The first time was when my parents died, and I became a vampire. The second time was when I met Bella, as much as I'd tried to deny what an eternity altering effect she was going to have on my entire existence. When I did finally come to terms with it, I also realized that rebuilding wasn't always such a bad thing. Sometimes it was actually a wholly undeserved gift.

And now I was feeling it all over again now, as I sat with Bella wrapped in my arms, in our meadow. The future stretched endlessly before us, and finally, it didn't seem a never ending black chasm that I would simply have to endure. It was full of promise and endless possibilities. How odd that an hour earlier I would have said this wasn't what I wanted. When I had perfected the art of lying to myself so completely? How had I managed to fool myself into thinking I could ever let Bella go again, whether it was to Jacob Black or even to natural death in sixty or seventy years? Thank heaven God seemed to smile on fools. Maybe I _had_ been forgiven after all.

"I never thought this was how this conversation was going to turn out." Bella murmured as she rested her head against my shoulder, echoing my thoughts. "Of course, I hadn't really planned on offering to give up immortality either, but once I did...I was so sure you'd take me up on it."

"Believe me, I'm staggered myself." I smiled ruefully as I stared up at the sky. At Bella's look of alarm I tightened my arms around her. "But not sorry...not in the least."

"Good." Bella relaxed against me once more.

"I'm sorry I went behind your back." I said into her hair as I pressed my face against her. "I shouldn't have done that, and I shouldn't have involved Elisa. Not that she was too willing to cooperate with me, regardless."

Bella chuckled. "See, not all of us humans are complete pushovers, ready to fall at your feet at a single glance." Suddenly, she hesitated, looking at me as if considering something, then spoke again. "Speaking of Elisa..."

I raised my eyebrows. "What about her?"

Bella was smiling now, but her expression was half-amused, half-embarrassed. "Edward, have you ever noticed - well, how she looks at you sometimes? I think she's got...well, a bit of a crush on you."

"Oh, _that_." I rolled my eyes, wondering why she was so nervous over such a trivial thing. "Please don't mention it to her. She'd be utterly humiliated."

Bella gasped lightly. "You knew?" Then she laughed. "Of course you did. Poor Elisa...must be awful to have those feelings and not even be able to hide them." Her face turned serious again, and for a moment I watched her in confusion, wondering why she was looking at me like that, until it clicked.

I groaned. "Bella, you can't honestly be jealous of _Elisa_, can you?"

The blush bloomed immediately on her face. "Well, I...why not?" She crossed her arms defensively across her chest. "What's wrong with Elisa, anyway?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'll never understand you, Bella. First, you worry that I might return her childish and very temporary infatuation, the next you act offended when I make it clear that I don't. There's nothing _wrong_ with Elisa. She's sweet, funny, and immensely good hearted. She's also fifteen...a very _young_ fifteen, and on occasion one of the most annoying creatures I've ever come across. Most of all, she's not _you_. I assure you, any feelings I will ever have for her are entirely fraternal."

After a moment of searching my face, Bella chuckled reluctantly. "I knew that, really. It's just...jealousy is not always rational."

I smiled as she snuggled once again into my arms. How well I had learned _that_ lesson myself.

"Speaking of Elisa again..." Bella was talking once more. "You did eavesdrop on that conversation we had back at the house, didn't you?"

"Yes." I admitted.

"And you heard what she said, about not letting go of my parents?" Bella's fingers idly traced the faint lines of my palm, sending a small shiver up my spine.

"Yes." I said again, my voice more cautious now. "And I understand where she's coming from, Bella. It's a lovely concept, but just as you said to her, it's not that easy."

"No, it wouldn't be easy." Bella's voice was far away now as her thoughts drifted. "Nothing worth having ever is. I learned that the day I met you."

"Bella..." My voice was warning now.

Bella smiled sweetly back at me, and the words I had been about to say died in my throat. "All I'm asking is that you let me honor my promise to her. I want to think about it."

I sighed, defeated by a single look. "Alright." We were both quiet for a few moments, content just to sit there, our fingers entwined, lost in our own thoughts.

"What about the other things Elisa said?" I asked suddenly, and Bella looked up at me. I could see by her reluctant expression that she knew exactly what I was talking.

"You mean about taking more time." Her voice was wary now. "About waiting...about staying human longer."

"It makes sense." I squeezed her hand lightly. "This isn't a trick, Bella. I'm not changing my mind, and I'm not having any doubts, but she's right. What's five years in the face of forever?" Gently, I smoothed back a loose dark curl from her forehead. "Waiting until you're twenty-three or so won't make much of a difference. I doubt you'd even look it."

I could feel the tension in Bella's frame, but her voice was carefully calm as she replied. "Probably not."

I raised my eyebrows at her easy agreement. "So you're considering it?"

Bella sighed. She was turned away from me now, the way she always did when she didn't want me to see her expression. "No."

I sighed as well. "How about three years then? Or two, even. I'll take two, happily. Bella, please, just consider it. Just a few more years of your human existence under your belt. How horrible is that, really?"

"It's not horrible. Not at all." Bella was still turned away from me. "But I can't, Edward. I just can't wait that long."

The sudden bleak tone in her voice startled me. I reached for her, gently trying to turn her to face me, but she resisted, and I didn't force her. "I don't understand. Why not?"

"Don't ask me that." Her voice was a stark whisper now. "Just...just accept that it's part of my impatient personality and let's leave it at that. Please?"

"You're scaring me." I was unable to disguise the worry in my tone. "Bella, tell me why."

Bella exhaled deeply. The seconds turned into minutes as I waited for her response. When it came, it was little more than a whisper.

"Because it's coming back for me, Edward."

"What?" I demanded, my voice sharper than I'd intended. "What's coming back for you?"

Bella hunched over now, her arms hugging her knees to her chest, her back still turned towards me. "Death."

The venom in my veins turned to ice as I registered her words. Urgently, I grasped her shoulders, ignoring her resistance this time as I turned her to face me. "Bella, what are you talking about? What's going on?" My anxious hands caressed her face, her hair, her arms, looking for any signs of vulnerability or hurt that I'd missed. "Are you alright? Has something happened that I don't know about? Are you sick? Are - "

Bella was smiling now, just a slight lift of her lips, but the sight of it warmed me, helped me to relax. "It's nothing like that, Edward. It's just that...ever since that day with Tyler's van, the day that you saved me, it's been one thing after another. Port Angeles, James, Laurent, Victoria, the newborns...it keeps coming back, over and over again. Maybe there's a reason why I'm such a danger magnet, have you considered that? That maybe it's fated? Just as you were meant to live, perhaps I was meant to die."

"NO!" Without intending to, the word came out as a shout, and Bella flinched back. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down, then smiled at her, my hands rubbing up and down against her arms. "Bella, after everything you've been through, it's natural that you would be wary, even frightened, of what could be next. But there's nothing out there now, nothing that wants to harm you. Even if there was, do you really think I'd let anything happen to you?"

Bella smiled again, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "There's the Volturi." She pointed out. "They wouldn't be too happy about a five year plan now, would they?"

I grimaced. "I doubt they will return anytime soon. Even if they did, I can deal with them."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Don't even start that again."

"Is that it?" I felt the relief course through me as I touched her porcelain skin. "The Volturi is what's got you worried?"

Bella shrugged now. "Not specifically. If it wasn't them, it would be something else."

"Bella, you can't honestly believe that, that just because you cheated death a few times it will keep coming back until it's gotten you." I hoped my voice didn't relay the fears that were quickly returning at the sight of her stark expression.

"Really?" There was a slight tone of bitterness to her voice now. "Try telling that to Elisa."

"I see now." I smiled at her more whole-heartedly this time. "Add what happened to Elisa on top of all that's happened to you, and you have a complete recipe for paranoia." I hugged her to my chest lightly. "I understand, Bella, how you feel, why you're afraid. But you have to believe me...you weren't fated to die. I won't ever let that happen. One thing I have to ask though...if you really believe this, why did you tell me you would give up immortality? Why would you do that if you sincerely thought it would lead to your death?"

Bella looked at me steadily for a moment. "Because your soul is worth everything to me. You'd do it for me, too. I know you would."

"Oh, Bella." I held her more tightly. "You love me too much. You_ give _me too much. I don't deserve you."

Bella scoffed loudly. "Now who's being ridiculous?"

I grinned. "You." I touched her nose lightly, and she tried to glare at me, but failed miserably as her lips curved into a much more heartfelt smile. I hesitated for a long moment, then let my voice turn serious. "But if you really feel that way, I'm not going to let you live in fear. We'll return to the original plan. If you are sure you're ready, then after the wedding, you'll be changed."

Bella snuggled closer. "It's a deal." She sounded relieved.

Suddenly she turned in my arms, moving so that her lips nearly touched my ear. "Well, perhaps not _right_ after..." Her voice was low now, seductive, and I felt the ice in my veins flare into fire. Unable to help myself, I lowered my head, my lips burning a trail across her neck and then upwards, across her cheekbone and finally claiming her mouth. I heard her intake of breath, and then she was kissing me back fiercely. I could feel her heart pounding against her chest and I exulted in the sound.

My lips were once again trailing the curve of her collarbone when her tentative whisper reached my ears. "Um...Edward?"

Startled, I realized we were lying in the grass. One of my hands was tangled in her hair. The other had slid inside the loose collar of the white blouse she was wearing, and was curled around her soft, bare shoulder. We were pressed together so tightly that a piece of paper would not have been able to slide between us. Quickly I sat up, stunned by how much control I'd lost in the past few minutes. What kind of spell had she cast on me?

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I wasn't thinking."

Bella laughed. "_I'm_ not sorry. I like it when you don't think." Her voice was light, teasing. "But if we stay here much longer, certain carefully laid plans of ours are going to go up in smoke. Not that I'd mind so much..." Her voice trailed off.

I wouldn't mind either...not in the least. I struggled with myself for a moment, resisting the urge to fling myself at her, promises and plans be damned. "I suppose we should go." I looked up at the sky, gauging how much time had passed. "Though it's a little late to take Charlie out to lunch now, it looks like."

"True." Bella agreed, then she smiled at me again. "It is too late for _lunch_. But for dinner, we'd be positively early."

I grinned back at her as I got to my feet, then pulled her up as well. "To the police station, then?"

"To the police station." She agreed.

And with that we were off, together, as we were always meant to be.

**Elisa:**

St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada. I pondered my future hometown as I sat at the kitchen counter, trying to force myself to finish the oatmeal that Esme had set before me. Out of all the places that we could have moved to, Canada was not one I had ever considered. I had to admit to myself that I had never even heard of St. John's before, which was rather sad considering that it was the capital of the province of Newfoundland and Labrador, another fact that I only knew because Carlisle had told me. I was torn between excitement and nervousness at the thought that we'd be there in just a few weeks. I didn't really know anything at all about Canada either, except that _Degrassi_ was filmed there, it was cold, and apparently people said 'eh' a lot. Still, it was a whole other country, a new adventure, and it sounded way better than Michigan, which had apparently been Carlisle and Esme's second choice.

"Hey, Elisa."

"Aaaaagh!" I shrieked in surprise at the sound of Edward's voice, and my spoon, still covered with oatmeal, went flying out of my hand and across the kitchen, landing in a sticky pile in the corner.

"Graceful." Edward chuckled. He was perched on the stool next to me as if he'd been there all the while, looking innocently at me.

"You did that on purpose!" I accused as I climbed off my stool and retrieved the spoon, taking it to the sink.

"Would I do that?' Edward chuckled as he watched me wash the spoon off.

"Yes!" I turned to give him another dirty look, but as I looked at his cheerful, amused face, my irritation began to disappate and relief took its place. I hadn't seen him at all since he and Bella had left the day before, and I'd spent a restless night wondering if everything was OK with them. But now, looking at him, it seemed like my worry had been completely unnecessary. In fact, I couldn't remember ever seeing him this happy before.

"Why, thank you for your concern, Elisa." Edward's smile widened. "However, I am in an absolutely _splendid_ mood, now that you mention it."

My eyes narrowed. "I _didn't_ mention it." I pointed out. I was never going to get used to him fishing around in my mind...it was beyond intrusive.

Edward ignored that little tidbit. I tensed slightly, feeling self-conscious, as I noticed how closely he was looking at me.

"You look awful." he murmured absently.

"What? Thanks!" I sputtered indignantly, my face reddening.

He laughed quietly. "I didn't mean it that way. You don't look bad...you just look far too pale, almost like one of us. You've been in this house too long." he paused for a moment. "I have to run into town and pick up something. Would you like to come with me?"

"Really?" I brightened instantly. For just a second, my mind raced through an internal debate - if I went with him, we'd be trapped in a car together and there would be no escape from all the embarrassing personal thoughts I was bound to have. On the other hand, sweet freedom beckoned...I had been stuck in the house for weeks, and this would probably be my last chance to see more of Forks before we left. Besides, there were far worse things then being stuck alone in a car with Edward Cullen... My mind made up, I jumped off the stool and went to the sink to scrape the oatmeal down the garbage disposal.

Finished, I turned to him. "Let's go! I have to be back by one o'clock though. Angela and Jessica are coming over for the final bridesmaid gown fitting, and Alice will kill me if I miss it."

"Probably." Edward agreed, his voice droll.

As i went to get the jacket Alice had bought for me a few weeks back, he went upstairs to tell Esme where we were going, and then zoomed back down to hold the front door open for me. I followed him outside and to the garage, getting into the passenger side of the Volvo.

Before I even had a chance to buckle my seatbelt, we were out of the long drive and rushing down the street. I finally managed to click my seatbelt in and exhaled happily. It really was nice to finally get out...I hadn't realized how confined I had felt lately.

"Life will get a lot more normal for you soon." Once again Edward was responding to my thoughts instead of my words. "Canada is truly beautiful, and St. John's has some great schools. You'll like it there, and you won't be stuck inside anymore. Carlisle just thinks it's better to keep you out of the public eye for the moment. We don't need to give the werewolves any more ideas about the suitability of our home, plus the story about your family...well, if anyone here gets suspicious, it's not going to take much investigation for that to fall apart. The sooner we get you out of Forks, the better."

I nodded, then wrinkled my nose, distracted. "Edward, did you know that your car smells like cat pee?"

Edward groaned. "I think it's definitely time to trade the Volvo in." he muttered, more to himself than me.

"So where are we going, anyway?" I asked curiously as he accelerated and the scenery rushed by even faster.

"The jewelry store." Edward replied. "I'm picking up Bella's 'something old'." he smiled. "It's another piece that belonged to my mother, but it needed some small repairs before I give it to her."

"Oh." I waited a moment before speaking again. "So, um...I mean, I know it's none of my business, but...everything's OK between you two, right?"

Edward turned and flashed a heart-stopping grin at me. "Better than OK."

"Good." I sighed with relief as I leaned back against the seat.

"Elisa..." Edward's voice was more serious now, and I looked over at him once more. "I owe you an apology. I should not have put you in the middle of this. It was unfair to you, and to Bella as well. I promise not to make that mistake again."

I shrugged. "It's alright. I'm over it. Bella wasn't mad though, was she?"

Edward grinned again. "Bella was...irked a bit, I suppose, but everything worked out. It worked out immensely better than I would have imagined, actually."

"Hmmm." I wondered what he meant by that.

"What that means is, everything's on the table now. No more secret doubts, no more subterfuge. I came clean and we made our decisions together, the way we should have in the first place." Edward explained.

"That's good. So she forgave you for inviting Jacob to the wedding, too?" I looked at him expectantly.

The smile instantly slid off of Edward's face. "Uh oh."

"You didn't tell her?" My voice rose several octaves. "Edward, she's going to _kill_ you!"

Edward grimaced. "Maybe he won't show up." he said hopefully.

I sighed. "I knew it was a mistake." I looked at his now worried expression and my heart clenched. "Edward, look, if he shows up, just tell her _I_ invited him. I was in charge of the invitations, after all. Hopefully, he'll be enough of a gentleman to keep his mouth shut about who it really was."

Edward frowned at me now. "Absolutely not. Didn't I just finish telling you I wouldn't put you in the middle anymore? Besides, starting off our married life with a lie seems like a bad omen. I'll just have to grovel...again."

I had a sudden, very vivid mental picture of Edward groveling, and my internal temperature shot up several degrees. Then, to my intense mortification, I realized that he was deliberately not looking at me anymore. Instead, his eyes were fastened on the road in front of him, the very picture of a conscientious driver. It wasn't fooling me for a second. Obviously, he knew what I was thinking. Ugh, why had I thought that I could be this close to him and _not_ think these things? It had been easier not to when I first came back...between the trauma of all that had happened, the feelings that I had for him had been the furthest thing from my mind. But now that I was more myself, it was all coming back, every single fantasy about him that I'd ever had, and they were playing now on the big screen of my mind in full, humiliating 3D. I wanted to die..._again_.

After an excruciatingly long pause in which my traitorous mind refused to shut off the ever more embarrassing images and my face burned so brightly it seemed like it should heat up all of Forks, Edward cleared his throat.

"Elisa, you know, you're a great girl. And some day, when you're older, you'll find the right - "

"Oh no." I groaned loudly, cutting him off as I put my face in my hands. "Edward, you're not really going to give me _the speech_, are you?"

"The speech?"

"Yes, the speech." I grumbled into my hands, knowing he could hear me perfectly well anyway. "You know, where you try to let me down easy, tell me how one day I'll make some lucky guy really happy and all that."

With an immense effort, I picked my head up to look at him, knowing my face was still scarlet but figuring I couldn't possibly be any more embarrassed then I already was. "I mean, you can read me well enough to know that I don't have any...I don't know, designs on you, or whatever, right? I'm not, like, dying of unrequited love or anything. I can't help it...before I ever knew you were real, I had a crush on you. It just doesn't go away that easily, even if you are far more irritating then I ever thought you'd be."

Edward grinned once more at that, and I instantly felt better. "I do know that, Elisa. It's an infatuation for you, nothing more, and you'll be over it soon enough. I am flattered, you know, but what I appreciate even more is despite it all, you've gone out of your way to fight for Bella and me, to keep us together. It's nice to know we have such a stalwart champion in our corner."

I smiled. "Thanks. I just figure, there's no fighting fate, right?"

"I think I'm learning that myself." Edward smiled again at me, and I was relieved to feel the last of the tension disappearing. "You know, about the speech..." he paused for a moment. "It may sound cliche but it's true. Someday, when you're ready, you're going to find someone who appreciates you and loves you for you. Of course - ' he gave me a playful, yet stern look now - ' I'll have to meet him first, make sure he's good enough for you."

I grimaced at that, suddenly having a vision, one that involved me dragging some poor, terrified boy across the threshhold where my new vampire family stood waiting to interrogate him. "Oh, _great_." I moaned. "Between Alice's visions of the future, your mind reading, and Jasper picking up on every feeling any of my dates have, nobody's ever going to be good enough, are they? I might as well join a convent!"

Edward laughed. "I don't think we'll be quite that extreme. But..." he gave me another mock stern look. "Let's just set some ground rules anyway. First, you're too young right now to be seriously looking. Second, no werewolves, ok?"

I laughed too. "No werewolves. Check."

He considered me for a moment before speaking again. "Now that I think about it, no vampires either."

"What? You mean I'm stuck with an _ordinary human_?" I wailed dramatically, then caught his eye and burst into giggles. "OK, I guess I can live with that."

"That's the point." Edward chuckled dryly as the car began to slow. "You know, Elisa, you're a lot of fun. I'm sorry about what happened to you, but I'm glad you're here."

My smile disappeared. "You don't have to say that, Edward."

Edward frowned at me as we pulled up in front of a small shop with a sign that read _'Sal's Jewelry: Buy, Sell, Repair'_. "Why? I mean it."

I gave him a dark look. "No, you don't. It's nice that you feel sorry for me and all, but I know having me around has caused you all more problems then I'm worth."

Edward exhaled impatiently. "Elisa..." he began, then he seemed to remember something and stopped. "Never mind. We'll finish this discussion later. Come on, let's go inside."

Quiet now, I followed him inside the small jewelry shop. We were the only ones in there, and the swarthy man at the counter snapped to attention at our entrance.

"Mr. Cullen!" He looked delighted. "I'm glad you were able to make it in today. The piece that you asked me to repair is all ready for you."

"Good - thank you, Sal." Edward's voice was smooth. "And the order that I placed a few days ago, is that ready as well?"

"Absolutely." The man beamed at him. Whatever Edward had asked him to do, it had apparently been costly for the man to look that happy. "They're both in the back...I'll get them right now."

While we waited, I wandered around, looking idly in a few cases at the glittering rings, necklaces, and bracelets. A few moments later, Sal came bustling back out of the back room, holding two black velvet jewelry cases, one much larger than the other. He placed them on the counter as Edward settled the bill, then personally walked us out the door, gushing the whole time and promising to give Edward his 'special customer' discount if he should need anything else. We finally extricated ourselves from him, and climbed into the car.

To my surprise, Edward didn't start the car right away. "Would you like to see what I had repaired for Bella?" he asked me, smiling as he held out the largest box.

I'd been dying of curiousity, something he was clearly aware of, and eagerly, I opened the box, gasping at the sight that met my eyes. Nestled against the black velvet was a stunning piece of vintage jewelry; a multi-strand, pearl choker, offset by a perfectly carved ivory cameo in the center. "Edward, that is gorgeous! And it's going to match perfectly with her wedding dress too! Has she seen it yet?"

Edward shook his head. "No. It's a surprise, so don't tell her. Alice will give it to her on our wedding day."

"She's going to love it." I assured him. "Even if she grumbles." We both chuckled, and then I looked at the smaller box. "Did it come with matching earrings or something?"

Edward's smile widened as he handed it to me, taking the larger case back at the same time "No. This one is actually for you."

I stared at him in surprise. "_Me_?"

He tapped his fingers impatiently on the dashboard. "Don't just sit there. Open it and see for yourself."

With trembling fingers, I opened the case, and stared in wonder at the delicate golden bracelet inside. "Edward, it's so pretty!"

"Take it out." he urged.

I lifted it out carefully, not wanting to damage the fragile gold, and held it in my palm, tracing the delicate links. It looked almost like a charm bracelet, except that in the middle was a flat, thick gold plate. Belatedly, I realized what it was. "This is an ID bracelet, isn't it?"

Edward nodded. "Turn it over and read it."

I flipped it over gently, and then gasped. There was a name carved in swirling script on the back of the plate...Elisa _Cullen_.

"Welcome to the family, Elisa." Edward smiled down at me.

I couldn't speak for a moment as my eyes welled with tears. Seeming to understand, Edward plucked the bracelet from my fingers and a second later it was on my wrist. "Thank you." I whispered, wiping away the stray tears that had leaked from my eyes, then gave him a tremulous smile.

"You're welcome." Edward was putting the box with Bella's choker away, then turning the key in the ignition. "That's not the only thing I have for you, you know. I do believe we had a conversation about a car, didn't we?"

I smiled more widely as I put on my seatbelt. "It was a bribe and I turned it down, remember?"

Edward shrugged. "Yes, but I'd like to get you one anyway."

For a minute, I was seriously tempted. I was only human after all. But after a moment I shook my head. "Thanks, Edward, but no thanks. Not now, anyway. If a new car shows up for me tomorrow, I'm still going to feel like I was paid off, and more than that, Bella's going to think so too."

"That's true." Edward agreed. "I didn't really think of that." He smiled at me as we began to accelerate once more. "How about a compromise then? We'll hold off on the new car for now, but just to make sure you're ready when the time comes, how about some driving lessons?"

"From you? Really?" I pondered that amazing possibility, then my face fell as I remembered. "But you're not going to be here. You and Bella are going to Alaska. It could be a really long time before I see you again. I kinda hope I don't have to wait that long."

"We still have a few weeks until then." Edward reminded me. "I'm sure we can squeeze in some lessons before then. I suspect you'll be a fast learner."

"OK, then. It's a deal." I beamed at him.

"Good. Now are you ready to go home?"

Home...I thought about that for a moment, feeling the now familiar mix of pain, guilt, and excitement. It hurt, as it always would, to realize that my old home and family was lost to me forever, and the guilt went hand in hand with that. How could I ever be happy again? Was it even right? I knew that was the wrong way to think of it; there was no doubt in my mind that if my parents knew that I still existed, even if it couldn't be with them, that they would want me to be happy. Still, it felt somewhat wrong and disrespectful to be looking forward to a future that they could never be a part of. Yet, it was undeniable that I did. I would always carry their loss with me, but life went on, as inexplicable as that may seem to me sometimes, and I could not wallow forever in my misery. Elisa Jensen was gone, but Elisa Cullen would live on.

"Yes." I said determinedly. "I am definitely ready to go home."

And I _was_ ready...to be part of my new family, and for whatever else the future might hold...

**To Be Continued...**

_In the next chapter, it's the eve of the wedding and Bella reaches out one more time to her mother - but what response will she get? And when the wedding day finally arrives, more than one unwelcome guest will throw a wrench into the celebrations..._

Song line is from Lose Your Way, Sophie B. Hawkins

If you've enjoyed Evening Falls, please let me know! Thanks for reading!


	6. Dreaming

**Despite how difficult Dreaming was to write, it's my longest chapter yet (thank Bella - she wouldn't shut up! :D ) and so I cut the final Elisa segment - it will go in the next chapter instead. Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews I've received so far. Please keep them coming - they really encourage me!**

**Oh, oh...almost forgot! I recently got the opportunity to beta for two great stories, Beyond The Sun by LadyNoreh and Island Moon by MrsMcoy. So for all of you who just can't get enough Jacob, check them out. Links to both on my favorite stories page.**

_**Evening Falls **_

Chapter Six: Dreaming

_**Elisa:**_

_Sweet dreams are made of this  
Who am I to disagree?  
Travel the world and the seven seas  
Everybody's looking for something..._

'Sweet Dreams', The Eurythmics

"Go over it again, Elisa, one last time. I just want to double check everything." Sitting next to me on the couch, Alice straightened up and took a deep breath, her eyes sharpening as she prepared to concentrate.

We were sitting on the large sofa in the living room, where we'd been for the last several minutes, consolidating our individual to do lists into one final check sheet with all the precision of a high stakes military operation. Across the room, Rosalie sat on her favorite perch, the window seat, occasionally watching us, other times just staring out the glass, her face unreadable. In the corner, Emmett and Jasper had been playing a noisy game of chess, but it seemed to be winding down.

Even as I thought this, Jasper abruptly stood up, saying something to Emmett that I couldn't hear, and then left the room without a backward glance. Alice watched him go, her face somber for a moment, before she turned back to me.

"OK, ready?" I picked up the final checklist and read the first item. "Bridesmaids' dresses."

"Don't need to check those - the final fitting went fine, and all of them are hanging in my closet. Next?"

"Caterer?"

Alice's face went blank and smooth for a moment, then she smiled. "The food will be here right on time, and just as we ordered. Go on."

"DJ? Live band? Flower girl? Rings? Ring bearer? Table settings? Limousine?"

After each one, I paused to give Alice time to look forward and check, and her response was positive and the same for each item until we got to the last.

"Flowers?"

Alice considered for a minute, then scowled. "I should have checked sooner. The shipment's been delayed - the florist waited too long to order the right flowers. They'll still get here, but late. Since we'll have to wait on Bella's bouquet, the ceremony's going to start off - " she thought again for a moment - "fourteen and a half minutes behind schedule. Stupid florist, and I won't even be able to demand a refund since I can't tell them where to send it to."

I nodded sympathetically. By now, all of Forks knew that the Cullens were leaving right after the ceremony, and I think if the entire town hadn't been so keyed up about the wedding itself they all would have gone into deepest mourning. I couldn't really blame them -small town life was certain to go right back to dead boring without the family of beautiful vampires and Bella Swan to give them something to gossip about. If I hadn't been leaving with them I might have been feeling the urge to wear mandatory black myself.

Of course we couldn't tell anyone where we were really going, hence Alice's frustration with the florist situation. Carlisle had told everyone that he had gotten an extremely prestigious job offer in New York, when the truth was we were moving to Canada. The less anyone knew about that, the better - especially the werewolves. Sam Uley had said they were turning a blind eye to the fact that Edward and Carlisle were planning on changing Bella after the wedding, but who knew if the fragile peace would really hold? It was a chance no one wanted to take.

And that was just one of the problems - the other was _me_. Supposedly, I was Carlisle's niece, the one he'd taken in after his estranged brother and wife had died in a car accident near Seattle. Luckily, Carlisle's reputation was spotless in Forks and he was so revered that this explanation seemed to have been accepted without question, but it would take only one skeptic, wondering how many orphaned nieces and nephews Carlisle and Esme could possibly have, and just a little digging for that all to fall apart. Not to mention that the werewolves also had issues with me being with the Cullens as well... It was best for everyone all around for us to leave as soon as possible.

Still, it was an odd feeling to know that in two days, I'd be saying goodbye to this small town forever, a town I'd barely seen for myself but still felt like I knew so well. I knew I wasn't the only one who would be sentimental about it. The Cullens may have just seen this little place as a means to an end when they moved here, but it was where Edward had found Bella, his soulmate, and I knew the memories meant a lot to all of them. And of course, it wouldn't be easy for Bella to leave either. She had to leave behind her friends, her father - and Jacob Black. Whether she would ever see any of them again...well, at this point, it was highly unlikely.

Unbeknownst to the townsfolk however, Bella and Edward wouldn't be leaving right away. In a twist on an old tradition, _we_ were the ones who would be driving off after the reception. The newlyweds would stay behind, spend their first few days of married life alone here in this house, before heading to Canada to meet up with us. The stay alone here and the scenic drive would be their honeymoon. I felt a little sorry for them regarding that - honeymoons were meant to be spent in exotic faraway locations, but neither one of them seemed to mind. I guess when you have all of eternity to go wherever you want, things like that seem pretty inconsequential.

"Elisa," Alice's voice broke into my thoughts. She was looking towards the front door. "Edward and Bella are almost here."

I tensed immediately, and she gave me a reassuring smile. "Don't get nervous. Just remember what we talked about. Clear your mind, then concentrate, and don't expect this to work completely the first time out. It's going to take practice."

I nodded, but despite her words, I was nervous anyway. We had a surprise planned for the newlyweds, and in the interest of keeping it...well, _surprising_, I was going to try, for the first time, to block Edward from reading my mind. Not that I had a prayer of truly being successful, but with any luck I'd at least keep my mind busy enough to avoid spilling everything. Alice and Rosalie had assured me repeatedly that if I slipped it didn't really matter, because Edward would surely keep the secret from Bella, but it still irked me, the fact that my mind was such an open book to him. I had to find a way to maintain at least a little privacy or I was going to go insane.

We heard the front door open and Alice patted my head reassuringly. "Just relax, Elisa."

I meant to, I really did, but I was well aware that Edward would know immediately what I was trying to do and it was just making me more nervous. Plus, just being around him, although it was becoming easier all the time, was still incredibly distracting...no one should be allowed to look_ that _good.

At this thought, I blushed, but I refused to allow myself to dwell on my embarrassment. Edward had already heard my most private and humiliating fantasies about him, and he'd taken them all in stride, to my eternal gratitude. I guess my thoughts were probably fairly tame compared to what he'd heard over the past nine decades or so. Plus, it was easy enough to figure out that the more I tried _not_ think something, the more I would, so generally I just let any potentially embarrassing thoughts come and go as they may without making a big deal over them.

Now, though, I needed to concentrate. I'd spent hours yesterday in the library, trying to find just the right piece of writing to memorize, something could both hold my interest but complicated enough that I'd really have to think to remember it all. I worked hard now to clear my mind and then began to recite the carefully memorized lines in my head.

_You and me--we know that land  
And often have been there  
In the long old days, old nursery days,  
A dark child and a fair..._

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward look up from where he and Bella had been talking to Emmett. His eyes slid over to me. I tried to ignore him and keep concentrating.

_Was it down the path of - of - _

His lips were quirking now, and I was rapidly losing my train of thought. What came next? I desperately tried to remember the next line, but when I heard him snicker, my rising irritation swept the rest of the poem away and I turned to glare at him. It was easy for_ him _to laugh...thanks to their vampirically enhanced memorization skills, Alice and the others knew endless amounts of obscure literature and could recite them in about twenty different languages if they wanted him to stay out of their thoughts, but I was human and I didn't have all their advantages. It was totally unfair for him to mock me.

I chewed my lip for a moment as I thought it over, and then grinned. Why had I been making this so difficult on myself? Screw poetry - why hadn't I realized that I had a nearly never-ending supply of meaningless pop culture with which to torment him? I knew _exactly_ what to think to block him out - and hopefully annoy the heck out of him at the same time. Hello to small, petty vengeance...oh yes, you **shall** be mine.

I saw Edward raise an eyebrow at me, but before he could dig further I began to think as loudly as I could, running through the lyrics of the most inane pop songs and boy band anthems that sprang to mind.

I grinned as I saw Edward flinch slightly, then reach up to rub his forehead, sending a hard stare my way. Bella gave him a confused look, then followed his gaze to me, and realization dawned on her face.

"Elisa, what are you doing to Edward?" Bella folded her arms and stared at me, looking torn between amusement and concern.

"Nothing..." I said innocently. ".._that he doesn't totally deserve_." I added under my breath with another grin.

Edward gave me another dirty look, then suddenly his face smoothed out and a mischievous light shown in his eyes. Uh oh.

He turned away from me as if he'd forgotten my presence and spoke to the room in general. "Good news, everyone! Did I tell you all that I got a call from the auto bodyshop in Port Angeles? The Volvo is back in one piece. Bella and I are going to head over there now and pick it up."

I groaned silently as all eyes suddenly turned to me, amusement dawning on their faces. Dammit. I should have known he'd fight back.

"The Volvo?" Emmett said brightly. "Let's see if I remember this correctly...oh yes, isn't that the very same car that you had to take in for repairs after a certain_ somebody _hit the gas instead of the brake and backed it into a tree? _Twice_?"

"Ha ha, Emmett." I said sourly. Like I hadn't already heard that one about eight hundred times. "Are you guys _ever_ going to let me forget about that?"

Alice chuckled "Probably not. You have to admit that your driving lessons were chockful of occasions to laugh and point. In all my years, I don't think I've ever seen a less coordinated driver." She laughed. "Behind the wheel, you make _Bella_ look like the epitome of grace and lightning reflexes."

"Hey!" Bella's voice was indignant..

"Oh, don't feel bad, Elisa. There's nothing with being a loyal rider of mass transit. In fact, it's positively considerate of you, especially when you think that not only will you be helping to maintain a less polluted world, but you'll be sparing the lives of possibly hundreds of innocent pedestrians and fellow drivers by staying off of the streets." Edward was smirking now.

"Edward!" I snapped. "Come on, I'm only fifteen! I have time to get better!"

Edward shrugged. "I suppose you could improve..." he mused. "But I think I'll still get you a lifetime bus pass for your sixteenth birthday, just in case."

I folded my arms and scowled at him which just made everyone laugh harder. I gritted my teeth in frustration, but witty comebacks were not forthcoming, especially since deep down I had to admit he was probably right. Our driving lessons had been a complete and utter disaster. I don't know what happened to me every time I got behind the wheel, but it seemed like my fingers turned to jelly and I gained a complete inability to remember left from right or which pedal was the gas and which was the brake. Throw in my tendency to panic whenever we got to a light, or I had to turn, or even when other cars passed me and we pretty much had a recipe for massive amounts of roadkill on our hands.

Yep, he'd successfully managed to turn the tables on me. It looked like this time around, small, petty vengeance was _his_. Unless... I thought about it and an evil smile lit my face. I had discovered in recent weeks that there was one tiny little topic of conversation that completely unnerved the normally unflappable Edward Cullen, one that was so obviously uncomfortable for him that it was surprisingly easy to imagine him as the blushing schoolboy he pretended to be. Before, I had never been low enough to use this knowledge against him, but desperate times called for desperate measures...

Edward had stiffened again and he looked at me now. _'You wouldn't_.' he mouthed the words to me.

_'I so totally would!_' I thought back, still smiling in his direction.

"Bella, let's go." he said hastily, taking her arm and moving towards the door.

I allowed the sound of 80's synthesizers fill my mind as the song I'd picked just for him began to play in my head.

_I made it through the wilderness...somehow I made it through..._

He redoubled his efforts to get out the door but Bella pulled away from him.

"Wait, Edward! I have to ask Elisa something!" Edward groaned softly as Bella turned back towards me.

"Yes, Bella?" I asked sweetly, still keeping the thoughts flowing behind my words.

_Didn't know how lost I was until I found you...I was beat, incomplete, I'd been had, I was sad and blue..._

"I was wondering if you'd do me a favor." Bella was speaking directly to me now, and I was surprised enough to let my mental warfare drop...for now. She'd never asked me for a favor before.

"Sure. What is it?"

Bella smiled more widely. "Well, it seems I might need some company tomorrow night, since a certain _somebody_ - " she shot a dark look at Alice " - says it's bad luck for Edward to stay with me before the wedding. So would you like to spend the night at my house, keep me from biting my fingernails off and pulling my hair out like I would if I'm left alone?"

"Really?" I was beyond pleased. I'd never seen Bella's house although I had met her father a few times when he'd come by the house for the extra tuxedo fittings that Alice had insisted on, or just to drop Bella off. In fact I had gotten to spend much time with Bella at all, and this would probably be just about my last chance to hang out with her for a long, long time. "I'd love to spend the night at your house! But are you sure you wouldn't rather have Alice there?" I chewed my lip doubtfully as I thought about it.

"I'll be busy making sure nothing goes wrong at the last minute." Alice grinned at us. "You must admit, Bella, there's a lot of benefits to having a wedding planner that doesn't need to sleep."

"Wonderful. That's settled then." Edward's voice was hurried. "We'll work out the details later. Bella, let's go before the shop closes."

Bella looked a little startled at his impatience but she allowed him to drag her hurriedly towards the door.

"Drive carefully, you two!" I called after them cheerfully. Inside my head, the synthesizers started again.

_But you made me feel...yeah, you made me feel...shiny and new..._

"Thanks!" Bella called back.

"Oh, and Edward..." I smiled sweetly as my voice trailed off.

He would have ignored me, but Bella tugged at his sleeve. "Edward, Elisa's trying to tell you something."

Edward turned back to me, his expression resigned, and I turned up the volume on my inner voice as loud as it would go.

_...like a VIRGIN...touched for the very first time...like a vi-ur-ur-ur-gin..._

With a short growl, Edward grabbed Bella, ignoring her startled exclamation as he nearly ran with her towards the door and half a second later they were gone, leaving me giggling in their wake.

"What was that all about?" Rosalie asked as she rose gracefully from her seat to walk over to my side.

"Nothing...much." I was still giggling. "It's just fun to be able to make Edward nervous for once instead of the other way around." Then I looked at Alice. "Are they really gone?" I demanded.

Alice nodded, standing.

"OK then, come on you two, let's get to work! We have so much to do before tomorrow!" I was practically hopping up and down with impatience. Turning, I grabbed Rosalie's hand, ignoring her startled expression. "You're still going to help, right?"

"Yes, Impatient One, let's go upstairs and finish our project." Alice rolled her eyes at Rosalie and they both chuckled softly.

"Just one moment, Elisa." Suddenly Carlisle was there before us. "Before you do that, there's something I else I need you to do." he smiled down at me. "In the interest of forging accurate transcripts for your new school, I need you to take some academic placement tests so we can make sure you end up in the right classes."

"What?" I groaned. "_Tests_? Why? I can totally tell you where I am. Advanced English, Remedial Math. It's the story of my life."

Carlisle chuckled. "This shouldn't take you long. The tests are on my desk in the study...if you take them in there you won't be disturbed."

"Fine." I sighed heavily and looked at Alice and Rosalie. "Don't do everything without me, OK?"

"We promise we'll save you plenty of work." Alice soothed me, though her eyes were twinkling at my downcast expression.

Reluctantly, I shuffled up the stairs, knowing I should move faster and get it over with but I just couldn't make myself. Homework during vacation time...it was just too cruel. Not that it was anything new to me though...last school year I'd failed math rather spectacularly and spent the summer taking make up classes. I sighed at the memory. I was so going to be the stupid Cullen - I just knew it.

I reached the second floor landing and headed into Carlisle's study. Just inside the doorway, I froze.

Jasper was standing before me, apparently having just risen from the lounge behind him, a thick book in his hand. I saw my surprise reflected in his golden eyes, and I tensed. I still wasn't fully comfortable being around him yet. Scratch that - to be honest, despite his relaxing abilities, I wasn't comfortable being around Jasper at _all_. During the nearly two months I'd been living there, he was most definitely the family member I'd spent the least amount of time with, and I was more than aware that it was deliberate on his part. Even a total moron would not have been able to mistake the tension that radiated off of him whenever I was near, or miss the fact that he made excuses to leave the room whenever I entered.

He didn't want me there. This was a realization I knew wasn't stemming from my insecurities...it was absolutely true. Why he had voted for me to stay when he had a choice I did not know, but it was clear to me that he regretted it. I sighed, thinking about it. I missed the quiet humor he'd shown that day in the forest when I'd first met him, the easy camaraderie he'd had with his brothers. It seemed like _that_ Jasper had been swallowed whole by this dark, moody creature who never spoke, just sat in corners and stared at me like I was some unwelcome alien that had fallen from their spaceship and landed on his doorstep.

After a moment of awkward silence I looked away from him and towards Carlisle's desk, where I could see a few blue booklets lying on its glossy surface.

"Sorry to bug you." I mumbled as I edged past him. "I just came to get my placement tests." I would take them downstairs and do them in the kitchen. Anything to get away from him as fast as possible.

I had picked up the booklets and was on my way back to the door when his voice broke the quiet.

"I make you nervous." It wasn't a question.

I turned back to him slowly and nodded. "Yes." There was no point in lying.

He watched me for several more endless seconds, and then, to my surprise, he smiled. "You make me nervous too." he admitted.

"Me? Why?" Startled, my voice rose a bit.

He looked at me steadily. "I think that would be fairly obvious, Elisa. I don't understand you."

"What's to understand?" I asked, my voice sharper now.

"Well, there's your choices, first of all." Jasper continued to pierce me with his fixed stare. "Do you truly understand what you're doing, Elisa? What you are risking by being here?"

I took a deep breath and forced myself to look him in the face. "I think I made that clear before, Jasper. I may not be the smartest person in the world, but I'm not a total idiot either. I know exactly what I'm risking."

"You still have other options, Elisa. Why do you stay?" Jasper looked at me even harder now.

I couldn't speak for a moment as my throat tightened convulsively. At his words, the pain that was always under the surface boiled over. The thought of losing another family - of being cast off - it was my worst fear, the one I didn't dare to take out and examine too often because I knew I couldn't bear it. It was the one thing that would collapse me when nothing else had.

I was trying to find words - far less personal ones - to explain to him when he spoke again.

"I see." His face was gentler now, but despite that I felt a surge of resentment. Between Edward reading my mind, and him reading my emotions, would I ever have any privacy again?

"You're angry at me now." Once again it wasn't a question.

I sighed heavily, ignoring his last statement. "You said that was one of the things that made you nervous. What else?"

Jasper frowned. "There's the fact that we still don't know why you're here. The others have apparently accepted that it is a mystery we'll never understand, but it's harder for me. I suppose that's because of my background...I was trained not to blindly accept situations, but to understand and control them. This is completely out of my hands. It bothers me, and the fact that it doesn't seem to bother anyone else... I just don't like it."

I nodded slowly, thinking about what he had just said, reading between the lines. "It's more than that. Even if I was just some normal girl off the street, you wouldn't like that your family took me in so willingly. Bella, you tried to accept. You loved her for Edward's sake before you loved her for her. Me...I'm not that vital to anyone you care about. You don't understand why they would take so many risks for me. " I shrugged. "I suppose that's fair." I had to admit to myself that I didn't always understand it either.

"Perceptive." Jasper was giving me another strange look.

I snorted. "Not really...I'm just not an idiot, like I said."

"Hmmm. Well, I must admit I'm surprised at your reaction. I thought you'd be a bit more upset with me, not so - mature about it, I suppose."

"I'm surprised by _your_ surprise." I was starting to get a bit angry now at his condescending tone . "I guess I don't understand why you'd assume how I'd react to anything, considering the fact that you know jack about me." I started towards the doorway once more, then looked back. He was still giving me that perplexed look, and it was really getting on my nerves. He was making me feel like a total freak.

"You know what the best thing is about human teenagers, Jasper?" I crossed my arms.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What's that?"

"We grow up. We leave home. And generally, at some point, we die. So don't worry - I won't be around to bother you forever." Turning, I stomped towards the door. "I hope that makes you feel better." With that, I flounced out the doorway, banging the door shut behind me a bit harder than necessary.

I regretted my overly dramatic exit almost instantly as I headed down the stairs and towards the kitchen. So much for maturity. He had every right to feel that way about me but I couldn't help the fact that it had seriously hurt my feelings. For a moment, I let the tears well in my eyes, but then, angrily, I shook them off. I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself - there was far too much to do.

I was almost finished with the final test booklet when Carlisle appeared beside me. I was finally getting used to their abrupt appearances, and his sudden presence barely even rattled me.

He was silent, picking up the first booklet and scanning my answers. As soon as I finished the final questions for the one I was working on, he held out his hand for that too. I gave it to him and watched in silence for a few minutes as he looked it over.

"So how did I do?" I asked when he set them down.

Carlisle smiled. "Advanced English, Remedial Math."

I grinned. "Told you."

He chuckled again. "We'll just see what we can do about the remedial part. I plan to oversee your education very carefully. If I have anything to say about it, you'll be well caught up before the end of the next school year.."

I snorted. "Many have tried, none have succeeded. Do you know how many math teachers and tutors I've driven to the point of breaking down? My eighth grade math teacher said I was 'utterly unteachable'. That's just _mean_! It's not my fault math had to get all complicated. I was doing just fine until the seventh grade, and then all the sudden they want us to figure out these problems that have_ letters _instead of numbers and it all went to hell. Oh and last year, my teacher, Mr. -"

I stopped, mid-babble. There it was again, the emptiness where my memories should be, the blackness that was waiting to take it all away from me. I clenched my fists convulsively for a moment, then forced myself to relax, painting on a weak smile. "Um, sorry...I talk too much. Never mind.".

Carlisle wasn't fooled. "You can't remember his name, can you? Your math teacher?"

I stared at the floor for a moment before I could trust my voice to remain steady. "No."

"You can't hold onto everything, Elisa." His voice was gentle now, sad for me.

"I know I can't. I'm holding on to what's important - that's all that matters now." For a vivid moment, I let my family's faces flash before my eyes, then I jumped off the stool. "So are we done with the school stuff?"

"Elisa - " Carlisle started again, his voice serious.

I knew he was just trying to help, but I couldn't stand to hear it one more time, how sorry he was, how I needed to let go, how my life was here now. As much as most of them may not realize it, I _was_ making my peace with that. Choosing not to let go of my family didn't mean that I wasn't going to live every minute of my new life. It had been given to me for reasons I would never understand, but that didn't mean I was going to let it go to waste.

I cut Carlisle off as if I hadn't heard him, knowing he wouldn't be deceived but hoping he would play along anyway. "Hey, do you want to come upstairs with me, see what we're planning for Bella and Edward?" I waited expectantly.

Carlisle surveyed me carefully for another long second, then nodded. "Sure. I'd love to see what you all are up to."

"It's going to be great." I told him as he followed me out of the kitchen. "Not just this, but the whole day. Every single little bit of it will be absolutely perfect, just like Bella and Edward deserve. _Nothing_ is going to mess it up." My voice was determined.

Carlisle gave me a sideways look, and for some reason he looked mildly worried again. "Nothing is ever perfect, Elisa."

"This will be." I gritted my teeth. Why did everyone insist on raining on my parade or acting like I was taking this too seriously? I sighed as my thoughts grew more resentful. Maybe I really was expecting too much. It wasn't even my wedding and I was obsessing over it like the most psychotic of Bridezillas. But didn't anyone else realize how important it was that this one glorious day went off without a hitch? Couldn't there just be _one_ occasion that didn't get wrecked in some small way, one perfect, unblemished dream that could actually come true?

Was that really too much to ask for?

_**Bella:**_

_I've got my feet on the ground_

_and I don't go to sleep to dream_

_you've got your head in the clouds_

_and you're not at all what you seem..._

'Sleep to Dream', Fiona Apple

"Was it really that terrible?"

Edward's voice was so soft, so intense, so utterly and completely melting, that even if I'd just finished crushing my own fingers with a hammer my response still would have been the same.

"No. It wasn't terrible at all." I leaned closer to him, getting lost in his eyes, not thinking at all now about the wedding rehearsal I'd just stumbled through - literally. I had tripped a grand total of three times going down the 'aisle', the third time so violently that I'd almost taken Charlie down with me. I winced at the memory and prayed silently that the same concept that applied to Broadway shows would also apply to our wedding: bad rehearsal equals great show.

"I personally didn't think it was so bad either. Although I truly hope that tomorrow you make the effort to look at me instead of at your feet as you're coming towards me." Edward chuckled softly, and I blushed. He was right - I had barely glanced at him all through the short rehearsal. I'd been so busy concentrating on not doing anything to embarrass myself; not that it had helped.

"Sorry." I whispered. "Tomorrow I won't look anywhere but at you, even if it means that I fall twice as often. I promise."

Edward's eyes smoldered into mine now, and I couldn't help but smile. He'd been nearly incandescent with happiness all night, and I felt low and mean-spirited now. How could I be so miserable when he'd waited so very long for this day? I should have felt relieved to have such a major hurdle behind me, but as I thought about what I'd just endured, I tensed all over again. The whole ordeal had been even worse than I'd anticipated and tomorrow, it was going to be worse - so much worse. How could I stand it?

Unconsciously, I leaned towards him, remembering my main source of comfort, that all this was so we could be together forever. The barrier between us brought me back to reality, making me scowl as it impeded my progress towards him.

"Careful, love. I don't need you falling out of the window and breaking something - _again_." Edward reached out a hand to steady me and reluctantly, I pulled back a bit, settling myself safely back behind the sill.

We were in my bedroom - well, I should say that technically, _I_ was in my bedroom. Edward was in the tree outside, weighing down an outstretched branch with his lithe figure so that it extended to just inches from the sill. As Romeo and Juliet as this little scene seemed, I would have much rather him been _in_ my room with me but it was the night before our wedding and apparently 'bad luck' for the groom to spend it with his bride. _Stupid human superstitions_, I grumbled to myself. It was just my luck that Alice took them so seriously.

I had hoped that Elisa, being the hopeless romantic that she was, might be a little more flexible and perhaps cover for us if we decided to break the rules, but even she had turned out to be an utter disappointment in that department. She had been sympathetic, but completely firm in her refusal when I'd begged her earlier tonight at the wedding rehearsal. "You two have had enough bad luck for twenty lifetimes, Bella." Elisa had snorted, unmoved by my attempt to blink tears into my eyes. "Don't you think it's best not to take any more chances?"

I had to admit, that one was hard to argue with. So I was resigned to saying goodnight to Edward in a few minutes, knowing it was silly to be so frustrated by it when after tomorrow, there would be no reason for us to ever be apart again. At least I wouldn't be home alone with just Charlie for company, endlessly replaying everything that could possibly go wrong on the big-screen of my mind over and over.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward leaned forward, using his elbows to prop himself up on the window sill as he gazed at me. "You look a little perturbed."

I opened my mouth to tell him everything was fine, but before I could, his eyes clouded. "It's your mother, isn't it? You're upset that she didn't change her mind." He sighed now. "I must admit, I really did expect her to come around. I'm so sorry that she won't be here tomorrow."

I hadn't been thinking about Renee, but now that he mentioned her, my stomach plummented. Edward wasn't the only one who'd expected Renee to come around. I thought back to our most recent day in the meadow, just over three weeks ago, the day that Edward had finally asked me, whole-heartedly, to become immortal, to spend eternity with him. It had been a monumental turn-around for him, and such a relief to me, that it had made me feel like nothing was impossible, no barrier too high to climb over, nothing I couldn't do.

With that attitude, I had gone home that night determined to get through to my mother, no matter what it took. The minute I'd walked in the front door I'd nearly run upstairs to my room, and went straight to the phone beside my bed. I dialed Mom's number over and over, getting nothing but her falsely cheerful, machine amplified voice, informing me that no one was home and I should leave a message. I knew she was screening her calls, but at some point I was sure she'd break down and answer, if only to keep Phil from complaining about the constantly ringing phone.

An hour later, I was beginning to think that I had seriously underestimated her. Being away from her for so long had softened her stubbornness in my memory, fooling me into thinking that perhaps her views on young marriage had softened. Clearly, I'd been living in a fool's paradise. Still, I had to keep trying.

I dialed her number again, ignoring the fact that my index finger was beginning to throb, and mouthed along to the familiar greeting when it clicked on. This time, I didn't hang up right away. The beep sounded in my ear and I took a deep breath, then spoke. "Mom?" I crossed my fingers that she still had our answering machine and hadn't switched to voicemail. If she could just hear my voice, maybe it would spark something in her. "Mom, I know you're there. Please pick up." I waited for a moment. No response. "Fine, Mom, be that way. I'm stubborn too, you know. I can keep this up all night. In fact, I can keep this up for _days_."

I was just about to hang up and re-dial when there was a sudden click and then her voice sounded in my ear. I was so relieved that the tight, angry tone in it barely registered.

"Bella?"

"Mom!" My eyes welled with happy tears. "I am so happy that - "

"Are you still getting married in three weeks, Bella?" Her voice was cool as she cut me off. "Or have you finally come to your senses?"

"Mom!" My eyes began to fill with tears for a different reason now. "Yes, I am still getting married, but I wanted to - "

"Then we have nothing to say to each other." I could tell she was getting ready to hang up.

"Wait!" My voice was panicky. "Mom, please, can we just - "

"No." Her voice was cold, flat. "Bella, I don't know how I can say this more clearly. You are making an enormous mistake marrying Edward this young. Get engaged if you want to, but at least finish college before you walk down the aisle. That would be the right thing to do, the smart thing, and I'm sure you know this! Why won't you listen to me?"

I started to protest, but she cut me off once more.

"Are you pregnant, Bella? Is that what this is about?"

"Mom!" I was fuming now. She'd already asked me this at least six times. "You know I'm not!"

"Then tell me why, Bella. Just give me one good reason."

_Um...because I want to be a vampire before I look old enough to be Edward's mother? Because he's a hundred and eight and tired of waiting? Because he's too moral to let me take advantage of him before I put a ring on his finger? _

I imagined her reaction if I said any of these things to her and had to press my lips together to keep in the hysterical bit of laughter that threatened to explode from my lips.

"Because...we love each other, Mom. Because we want to." Lame, lame, lame. I knew how weak that sounded even before her heavy sigh came down the receiver.

"And you don't think you'll love each other four years from now?" Renee's voice was exasperated. "If you aren't committed to each other enough to even make it through a long engagement, how do you think you're going to do at marriage? Bella, this isn't like you! Please, just listen to what I am saying. I know that I haven't always set the best example for you, but this is one situation where I know what I'm talking about. You may have the best intentions, plans to go to school and have your future the same as you ever did, but if you marry now you're going to be pregnant within the year, and everything you've worked so hard for will go out the window. You'll be stuck at home watching life pass you by, and when the fairytale fades and real life sets in, you'll regret it. You have so much potential, Bella. I want more than that for you."

"Mom, everything I want, everything that I need...he's it. He is my future. I don't want anything else." My voice was shaky now.

"Oh, that makes a lot of sense!" Renee's voice was angry now. "And what happens if it doesn't work out, Bella? If he wakes up one day and realizes that he's lost his chance to be young and free? If he leaves again? Are you going to fall apart? Will you just lie down and die, because you've built your life around him and he left you with nothing? Is this how your story will end?"

Her words pierced my heart, causing me more hurt than she could have imagined. I couldn't speak now, but my low sobs must have registered through the phone, because her voice softened.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella. And it's not as if I don't like Edward. Did he tell you that he's been calling me too?"

"What?" I choked out, although I really shouldn't have been surprised. For a moment, I felt a pinprick of irritation that he'd tried to intervene, but it was quickly washed away by gratitude. He knew what having Renee's support would mean to me.

"Yes, and I told him the same thing I'm telling you. I am not against you two getting married. All I'm saying is _not now_. Just wait a few years. It's not so much to ask. Please, Bella!"

"Mom, I understand what you're saying, I really do, but we are getting married now. Everything is set, and there is nothing that you, or anyone, can say to change my mind. Please be there. Even if you're not happy about it. For _me_, Mom."

There was a long silence, and when she finally spoke again, I heard the tears behind her voice. "I'm sorry, Bella, but I can't. I won't stand by and watch you wreck the future that we both worked so hard to make sure you'll have. If you come to your senses, call me. Until then - don't bother."

There was a click, and then a dial tone.

For the next couple of minutes, I had just sat there, holding the phone in my hands, listening to the dial tone as the tears trickled down my face. Then I took a deep breath, hung it up, and got to my feet. I couldn't give up. Not yet. The exhilaration of the last few hours with Edward, the decisions we had made together, was still fresh in my mind, giving me strength. Hurriedly, I went downstairs, getting an old, barely used spiral bound notebook out of a kitchen drawer and a pen as well. Then I went to the dining room table and sat down.

It took me several minutes to figure out what to write, but when I got started it seemed like I couldn't stop. I couldn't tell her the truth behind my decision - not the whole truth anyway, but there was still so much that I hadn't been able to put into words before. So many more reasons behind my decision then I'd ever been able to express, and I poured it all down on paper now. How I felt about Edward, how it had been between us from the moment I'd first laid eyes on him, how I knew he felt about me in return. All the reasons - and there were so many - why we were different, why I knew, beyond all rationale, that it would be forever, why it _had_ to be.

Once I was done, I put it in an envelope, stamped and addressed it, and before I could lose my courage, I drove it to the post office to put it in the after hours mail slot. I knew if I took the time to think about it, I'd realize how incredibly vulnerable I'd just made myself, and I would tear it up before it ever got to her. I'd never worn my heart on my sleeve so blatantly before. It just had to make a difference.

I sighed now as I returned to the present day, looking up to see Edward's concerned face still peering down at me. I had never told him about the letter, but I had been so sure that it would get through to her. Every time the phone rang over the past few weeks I'd run to it, expecting to hear her voice. I'd been doomed to near constant disappointment. Finally, I had to resign myself. She wasn't going to come around. Renee would never support my marriage to Edward. It hurt so much to know that she would rather cut herself out of my life then accept my decision, but I had to make my peace with it now. At least I had the comfort of knowing I'd tried everything I could.

"It's alright, Edward." I whispered now. "I'm not going to pretend that I'm not sad about Renee, but there's nothing else either one of us can do. I tried, and I know you did too. Thank you." I looked at him, smiling now at the surprise in his eyes. I leaned forward to brush my lips against his, but pulled back as a light thud registered in my ears.

I looked over my shoulder at Elisa. She was kneeling on the floor on the other side of the room, her back deliberately to us, as she dug through the box of my carefully packed book collection. She'd been at it for the past twenty minutes, and I was beginning to seriously doubt she found my Jane Austen novels_ that _riveting.

"I shouldn't forget that I have a guest." I whispered to Edward. "I suppose I should say goodnight." The reluctance in my tone was blatant.

"But not goodbye." Edward murmured back. "Not ever again."

"Never." I agreed as our faces neared, and then our lips touched. I couldn't resist pulling him closer, regardless of his precarious position, and for a moment I was completely lost in the feel of his mouth on mine, until I realized that the sound of my books being shuffled had become much louder and more deliberate. Edward and I chuckled at the same time, parting slowly.

"Goodnight then." I whispered.

"Until tomorrow." Edward stroked my face with his cool hand and I shivered, not from the chill, but from the electricity that raced down my spine at his touch. "You know where I'll be waiting for you at." His whisper was just for me now, his lips nearly touching my ear, and I almost lost it right there, wanting so much to give in to the desire to yank him through the window and make him stay. I took a deep breath and forced my raging hormones to settle down. Only one more night to endure, and then he could have me the way he wanted me, as his wife, and I could have him the way I wanted him, as my _everything_.

"Good night, Elisa. Take care of my Bella, will you?" Edward called out in a normal tone now, and Elisa turned to face us, her face deeply amused.

"Oh Edward..." she gasped dramatically. "Parting is _such_ sweet sorrow!" Apparently the Romeo and Juliet ambience had not been lost on her either.

"Brat." Edward rolled his eyes, but his voice was humorous. With one final, intense smile at me, he pulled back and was gone. For a moment I remained at the window, feeling suddenly hollow, and then, with an enormous effort, I turned back to Elisa.

"Did you find anything you liked in there?" I asked, gesturing towards the box of books.

Elisa rolled her eyes. "Not even. I like to read, but your book collection is _so_ not my style." She made loud snoring noises. "It's like an ode to English Lit's required reading list. You don't even have any Harry Potter!" Elisa walked around my bed to look out the window at the darkening sky, and then turned back to face me. "You remind me of another friend I used to have. Neither one of you ever seem to have a shallow moment."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Oh, please. I can be entirely shallow."

"Oh yeah?" Elisa raised her eyebrows. "Prove it."

"How?" I played along.

"Well..." Elisa thought for a moment, then looked towards my already packed suitcase and snickered. "I've seen your wardrobe so we can skip the fashion test. You'd have failed miserably anyway. OK, here we go. Name one character from Gossip Girl."

"Who's gossip girl?" I asked, puzzled.

Elisa snorted. "Never mind. OK, how about Degrassi: The Next Generation? No? The O.C.? Laguna Beach? Beverly Hills, 90210? Bella, do you even know how to turn on a television?" Her voice was exasperated. "OK, if you just know who Perez Hilton is, I'll give you a pass on all that. In fact, if you know who _Paris_ Hilton is, I'll give you a pass on _everything_!"

She waited for a moment, and then giggled as I stared at her blankly. "See, what did I tell you? You're completely abnormal. I'll bet you've never even had a celebrity crush."

"I have too!" I protested.

Elisa put her hands on her hips. "Really? Who?" she challenged.

"Romeo." I said immediately, still lost in my Shakespearean flashbacks. "Does that count?"

"Unless you want to add 'as played by Leonardo DiCaprio', then I'm going to have to say no. Anyone else?"

"Brad Pitt!" I blurted out, saying the first name that popped into my mind, knowing that it was pointless. She was right - I wasn't normal. I mean, at some point I must have daydreamed over movie stars or rock singers, but my life before Edward seemed so far away, so utterly without meaning, that I couldn't remember. And besides, who needed fantasies when I had him, my wildest dream come true, at my side every day for the rest of eternity?

Elisa looked like she doubted the sincerity of my Brad Pitt crush as well, but she considered for a moment and then finally nodded. "OK, I'll accept that. You are now .001 percent shallow. Satisfied?"

"Ecstatic." I said dryly. Elisa laughed again and I couldn't help but smile along with her. I knew it was a good idea to invite her to spend the last night of my single life with me. She was just as distracting - more so - then I'd hoped. It was nice to see her smiling and laughing again. Still, teasing like this called for some kind of retaliation, and I found it in the form of the pillow that I sneakily - or so I thought - lobbed at her head.

Of course Elisa managed to duck at precisely the right moment, and we both watched as my pillow went sailing out my open window and disappeared.

"Oops!" Giggling, we both ran to the window and looked down to see it lying on the grass below. I sighed. "I'd better go get it before it gets damp. I don't want to be smelling like mildew when I wake up tomorrow."

"I'll come with you." Elisa said immediately, following me to the door.

"You don't need to, Elisa. I'll be right back. Why don't you change into your pajamas?"

Elisa snorted loudly and continued walking with me. "Oh,right! Don't you ever watch movies either, Bella? Let me set the scene for you. The lovely, disaster prone bride is home the night before her wedding. A seemingly harmless coincidence prompts her to go outside, in the dark by herself and next thing you know...oh, come on, you have to see that this just has 'tragic scenario' written all over it . If I let you go alone, who knows what could happen to you? And how would I explain it to Edward?"

I shook my head at her as I pushed open the back door and we walked onto the gloomy lawn. "Is that so? And what would you do if you were right? Let's say there's a pack of escaped murderers hanging out in those trees over there, or a whole horde of vengeful vampires that I've managed to anger in ways I can't even imagine, all just waiting for me to wander past in the dark...what are _you_ going to do about it?" I .

Elisa frowned, caught short. "Well..." she thought for a moment. "I have been told that my screams are impressively loud..."

I rolled my eyes as I leaned down to pick up my pillow. "Fantastic. I feel _completely_ safe now."

As I straightened up, however, a sudden movement in the dark expanse of trees caught my eye and made me gasp. Immediately, Elisa's 'tragic scenario' theory took on a frightening reality. Something was there, something big, something...I stopped for a moment, my eyes narrowed in concentration. Something _familiar_.

Still, I might have been able to dismiss it as my imagination if the movement hadn't been followed immediately by a quiet snap, like the sound of a foot - or a _paw_ - coming down on a fallen tree branch. No - it couldn't be! But who else -

"What is it?" Elisa hadn't missed my reaction and her head turned to follow my gaze into the trees. "Is there something in there, really?"

"No." I said quickly - too quickly. "Just my overactive imagination at work, which is entirely _your_ fault, by the way." I forced a less than sincere smile on my face.

Elisa didn't look convinced in the least. "Hey!" she suddenly called out in the direction of the forest. "If something's in there, you'd better get lost before - "

"Before what?" I grabbed her arm and hustled her towards the back door. "You scream impressively loudly and terrify the neighbors? There's nothing there. Let's go inside."

As I pushed her in front of me, I turned to look back one more time, not sure what I expected to see, but there was nothing now, no movement, no noise...nothing to tell me that I had been right. And yet, I had a very strong suspicion that someone had been there and that I knew exactly who that person was.

Had Jacob really been there, watching us? And if so, why? Had he wanted to speak to me? What was left to say? For a moment I cursed myself for not insisting that Elisa stay inside, but then I mentally shook my head at myself. There was absolutely no point in going down this path again. There was nothing I could say to Jacob that could make this better for him - both of us would just be ripping old wounds open once more. It wouldn't help him heal or move on, and selfishly, I knew I couldn't face the pain again myself. I would not spend the night before my wedding crying for Jacob. It wasn't fair to any of us.

I was quiet now as we re-entered my bedroom, a certain bittersweet melancholy settling over me as I walked to the window and looked out once more across the empty lawn. Absently, my fingers went to my wrist, touching the silver charm bracelet that still hung there, the wolf, and the heart. Then I unclasped it and slowly turned to walk across the room to my dresser. I opened the jewelry box on top and placed it gently inside, closing the lid once more. That bracelet was something I would always treasure, but I would not wear it any longer. It represented a time when I was torn, the two pieces of my heart that had now healed into something whole, if forever scarred, forever changed.

I turned to see Elisa watching me, then she looked towards the window, and I knew instantly that I hadn't fooled her at all.

"Was it him?" She asked quietly. "Jacob?"

I opened my mouth to deny it, then sighed, my shoulders slumping. "I don't know. Maybe."

Elisa continued to look out the window for a long moment. "If it was, I think he's gone now." She turned back to me, and I was relieved that her face didn't hold the condemnation that I thought it might. Instead, her eyes were frankly sympathetic. She gave me a faint smile, but didn't speak, and for that I was grateful. Clearly, she knew much more about me and Jacob then I could have ever imagined, but even so, that was one conversation I really didn't want to have with her - or with anyone. Not again.

We were both quiet for several minutes before Elisa broke the silence. "I guess we really should try to get some sleep." She walked towards the rolled up sleeping bag on the corner and began untying the strings that held it together.

"Elisa, why don't you take the bed?" I offered. "You are my guest, after all."

Elisa looked up at me, her face aghast. "Are you kidding me? You think I'm going to let you sleep on the floor on _the night before your wedding? _What kind of bridesmaid do you think I am?"

Her voice was so clearly offended that I didn't press the issue. For the next couple of minutes I helped her untie the tangled cord, then we unrolled the sleeping bag on the small area of floor between the wall and my bed. That done, I tossed her the pillow she'd brought with her and a couple of extra blankets I'd gotten out of the linen closet as well.

I watched Elisa yawn widely as she pulled out a pair of pink pajamas from her overnight bag. "Tired, are you?"

Elisa chuckled a little sheepishly. "Sorry. I didn't think I'd be able to sleep at all, but I stayed up all night last night with Alice and Rosalie. I'm totally beat, and I don't want to be a red-eyed, bleary mess standing next to you tomorrow. Speaking of which, I'm not the only human girl who needs her rest." She looked at my bed significantly.

"You're right." I agreed, although the tension racing through me now, not only at what just happened but over what I was going to endure the next day. How I was ever going to relax enough to sleep I didn't know.

I went back to my dresser and got my pajamas out. "I'll be right back." I told her, and headed down the hallway to the bathroom. Inside, I took my time changing into my pajamas, brushing my teeth, and then washing my face. As I scrubbed my skin, I stared at myself in the mirror, seeing the stranger in my own eyes. I still looked like the same ordinary Bella, and yet I wasn't. I was irrevocably and forever changed - not even close to the same girl who had come to Forks so reluctantly nearly two years ago.

And after tomorrow, I would never be Bella Swan again. I would be_ Mrs. Edward Cullen_. At the thought, I got so dizzy that it was necessary to flip the toilet lid down so I could sit on top of it and gasp for air. It was really happening. Really and truly...I wasn't even nineteen and I was going to walk down the aisle tomorrow, in front of the whole town, and become Edward's wife. I struggled for a moment to get a hold on the tidal wave of emotions rushing through me. I could grasp a few of them immediately. There was fear, panic, wariness, sorrow for two of the most important people in my life -Jacob and Renee- who would not be there...

And yet there was more, so much more, deep under the surface, the feelings that were so personal and made me feel so vulnerable that I didn't like to examine them too closely. There was... Excitement. Anticipation. Joy.

Yes, joy. Because somewhere, underneath all my doubts and prejudices, there was nothing more that I wanted than to be Edward's wife. It was the ultimate culmination of everything I'd ever wanted when I first looked at his angel's face, back when I never, ever could have imagined that his beautiful eyes would ever gaze at me with anything but the briefest acknowledgement. Sometimes I even woke up in the middle of the night convinced it had all been a stunningly vivid dream, for how could this be anything else but a fairytale?

Edward could have anyone he wanted and yet he was bound to me just as permanently as I was to him. He was ready to stand up and let everyone know it. As scared as I still was to put myself out there the way I was going to have to tomorrow, how could I do any less for him? How could I have let my fears and insecurities keep me from letting him know that I was just as proud, just as thrilled, at the thought of being next to him at the altar and pledging my eternal love for him in front of the world? Did he think I was unhappy, or worse, _ashamed_, to be marrying him?

Tears came to my eyes at the thought, but I smiled to myself as I blinked them away. Surely, Edward knew me better than that. And if he wasn't sure, if his own insecurities were keeping that knowledge from him, then it was up to me to open his eyes. And I would. We had the rest of forever to spend together and I would make sure that he knew that every second that I spent with him was because I wanted it with everything in me. Starting tomorrow, I wouldn't hold anything back - I wanted to make him every bit as happy as he made me, as impossible as that feat seemed.

With that awe-inspiring notion in mind, I decided I'd done enough introspective thinking for one night and left the bathroom. On my way back towards my bedroom, I paused, looking down the staircase towards the main floor, feeling a rush of guilt as I recalled how quiet Charlie had been all night. Had the wedding rehearsal upset him that much? At the very least, it must have really brought home the fact that this was real, that tomorrow he would walk his daughter down the aisle and hand her off to someone else. I should talk to him, no matter how uncomfortable it made either one of us. It was the least I could do for him. After tomorrow, who knew when I'd see him again?

Halfway down the stairs, I realized a conversation with Charlie was not going to happen, at least not tonight. I could hear his snores long before I reached the living room to see him slumped back in his easy chair, oblivious to the world.

"Dad." My voice was low but insistent as I shook him awake. "Come on. Time to get into bed now. We've got a big day tomorrow."

"Bella..." he mumbled as I pulled him to his feet. "..my little girl..." His voice, even thick with sleep, sounded tearful. It was enough to make all my good intentions about a heart to heart fly right out of my head. Alarmed, I pulled harder on his brawny arm. The last thing I needed was for a half-asleep Charlie to fall apart on me. It would be enough to set me off for hours and tomorrow I'd be walking down the aisle with puffy, blood-shot eyes that no amount of make-up would be able to obscure. Like I needed anything else to make the day more humiliating.

Luckily, exhaustion stopped Charlie from saying more, and he collapsed on his bed with a grateful sigh. I tiptoed out his bedroom door and nearly ran down the hallway before he could wake up enough to call me back.

Elisa was still awake and waiting for me when I got back to the room. She'd changed into her own pajamas while I was gone, and was lounging on her sleeping bag with an open paperback in her hand. The cover had a shirtless man with enormous muscles and long blond hair who was passionately embracing a buxom redhead in a much too small dress. Clearly it was not a book she'd found anywhere in my room. With a small pang, I noticed that she'd repacked my own books in the cardboard box, even taking the time to find some tape and seal the lid. It was certainly a thoughtful gesture but I'd been hoping to occupy my too active mind with some Jane Austen. Now I would have nothing to do but stare at the ceiling and well - panic.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Elisa peered up as me as I crawled into bed, trying my best to keep from shaking.

"Fine." I lied as I pulled the covers over my quivering frame. "Just tired, I guess."

Elisa chuckled and then suddenly she sat up, getting to her knees and leaning her chin on the side of the bed so she could see me clearly. "What's it like, Bella, knowing you're going to marry the love of your life in less than twenty-four hours? Everything is going to change for you. You must be so excited!"

At her words, butterflies began to flap angrily in my stomach and for a moment, it felt like the room was spinning. My earlier excitement was being drowned in a sea of terror. It wasn't so much the part about becoming Edward's wife that I minded anymore. It was the fact that everyone was going to watch me walk - well, more like stumble - towards him, listen to my quavering voice recite our vows, stare and whisper as he leaned forward to kiss his bride... It would be like standing in a giant spotlight, with so many people watching what should be an intimate moment. Why had I ever agreed to this?

"Bella?" Elisa's voice was worried now.

I took a deep, shaky breath. "Elisa, can we talk about something else?" I nearly whimpered. "Please? I'm just...I'm totally freaking out." I knew she'd believe that immediately - my voice had a clear note of terror in it.

Elisa watched me anxiously for a moment, then ducked out of sight for a couple of seconds. I jumped as her pillow came flying up from the floor to land at my side on the bed. "Move over, Bella."

I scooted over and Elisa appeared once more, climbing on to the other side of the bed. She adjusted her pillow behind her, then leaned back, smiling reassuringly at me. "Just breathe, Bella. Don't be scared. Everything is going to be OK, I swear. It will all be over before you know it and you two will have nothing but happiness and the best future ever to look forward to. Just think about that."

Obediently, I took deep breaths as her gentle voice continued to soothe me. After a few minutes, the panic receded a bit, and I was able to lay back myself. "Thank you. You are an _extremely_ helpful bridesmaid."

Elisa beamed at me. "You're welcome, Bella." She watched me for a few minutes, my sweaty, pale complexion apparently convincing her that the crisis was not over yet. "You know, at home when I can't sleep, which is pretty much every night lately, Rosalie reads to me."

"Rosalie?" I was startled out of my panic attack for a moment. "_Rosalie_ reads to you?"

"Yep." Elisa smiled once more. "We're almost finished with _A Little Princess_. I think I'm going to see if I can get her to read _The Secret Garden _next."

"Huh." I tried to picture this cozy little scenario and failed utterly. Rosalie, reading to Elisa...apparently I'd been so wrapped up in Edward and the wedding that I had missed _a lot_. Like an entire personality transplant happening right before my eyes. "_A Little Princess_, huh? I think my mom bought me that book when I was little, but it wasn't one of my favorites. I was never really into princesses."

"What a surprise." Elisa giggled. "Totally abnormal, like I said. Anyway, I thought maybe I could do something similar for you. I uh...I memorized this poem the other day, for reasons we won't get into, and it's really kind of pretty. It's a story more than a poem - do you want to hear it?"

"Sure." I was positive that poetry was not going to calm my raging nerves, but I appreciated her attempt at distraction anyway.

"OK then." Elisa leaned over to snap off the bedside lamp, then adjusted her pillow so she was sitting up a bit more, folded her hands across her waist and began to recite.

_You and me--we know that land  
And often have been there  
In the long old days, old nursery days,  
A dark child and a fair.  
_

_Was it down the paths of firelight dreams  
In winter cold and white,  
Or in the blue-spun twilit hours  
Of little early tucked-up beds  
In drowsy summer night,  
_

_That You and I got lost in Sleep  
And met each other there--  
Your dark hair on your white nightgown,  
And mine was tangled fair..._

Although I forced myself to focus on the musical rise and fall of her voice, I never really expected it to work. Yet, as my mind began to put images wth her words, my eyes began to close. I watched the tale unfold on the back of my eyelids as I lay there, mentally following the path the story led me down. And as I let my anxiety and worries fade, so did my consciousness, and finally, I slept.

Eventually, the dream began.

The misty green light that filtered through the thick foliage surrounding me was nothing if not familiar. I looked up for a moment at the bit of sky that peeked through the trees, seeing the fast moving clouds that would soon blot out the sun. Although the atmosphere was calm, the wind was beginning to rise a bit, swirling leaves around my ankles, flicking at the hem of the nightgown that was more pristine and white than anything I'd ever worn in real life, and blowing my hair away from my face.

I knew this place where I stood. Distantly, I could hear the rush of the ocean, calling me to its safe, sandy beach, to sanctuary. In the other direction the deepest part of the forest loomed, black and beckoning. Once again, I was caught in the middle.

I waited now, impatient, almost bored, for the dream to play out like it had before. For Jacob to come and try to pull me to safety, for Edward to appear and lure me away with the smile of a stranger. I didn't understand why I had to experience this again. Before, this vision had always had a purpose. First, it was to confirm what deep down, I'd known all along about Edward, and then, to reveal the secret that Jacob himself could not voice. It had been more than that too, although I hadn't realized it at the time. This dream had represented the two worlds I had to choose between, but now I had made my choice. What more was there to learn?

I'd been waiting for several heartbeats when I realized that this time, the pattern was not the same. There was nothing coming, no voices calling my name, no glowing figure emerging from the dark, no wolf at my feet. I was completely alone.

Confused, I turned in a slow circle, feeling twigs and other forest debris crunch under my bare feet. What was I waiting for?

The screams, when they shattered the quiet, jarred me to the soul. For a moment I was so stunned, so frightened, that I couldn't comprehend the sound, but then I realized a high-pitched, terrified voice was screaming Edward's name over and over again. I froze in place, listening, then as I recognized the voice, adrenaline burst into my veins and before I could think it through, I began to run - directly into the heart of the forest.

"Elisa!" My own voice was a scream now. "I'm coming! Where are you?"

Tree branches appeared from seemingly nowhere as I ran, snapping back to strike me in the face after I'd pushed them aside. Treacherous roots caught at my ankles, trying to pull me down, and I stumbled over rocks and fallen trunks as I raced through the shadowy woods. It seemed like the whole forest was conspiring against me, trying to slow my pace, but finally I burst into a small clearing, and then skidded to a sudden stop.

Elisa was several feet away, her back to me, one hand resting lightly on the trunk of the tree next to her as she peered into the dark. I wasn't surprised to see that she was clad in a nightgown identical to mine, or that her hair was pulled back and tied lightly with an old-fashioned, velvet ribbon, but I was bemused by her silence, her calm demeanor.

"Elisa?" My voice was a near whisper now, and she turned her head to look at me over her shoulder.

For a moment she was silent, surveying me, then her eyebrows raised slightly and she smiled. "I'd almost forgotten that I'm not the only one who dreams."

I shook my head, trying to clear the cobwebs. "What's happening? I heard you screaming..." My stomach twisted as I spoke.

"Was I?" Her voice was distant as she turned to look through the trees once more. "I don't remember. Then again, memory isn't really my strength these days, is it?"

"Right." I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to rub the chill out of my skin. Somehow, the calm of her voice was almost more frightening then the screaming. "Edward told me about that. I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "Don't be. It's for the best."

"Why?" It was almost like the words coming out of my mouth were planned, like I was reciting from a script I hadn't even been aware that I'd memorized. "Because the memories are too painful?"

"No." Elisa was still looking away from me. "I can handle the pain. But it's safer this way, if I forget, better for all of us. Some things are just too dangerous to remember."

"I don't understand." I whispered.

"Me neither, not really." She admitted. Her body remained angled away from me, towards something I could not - did not want - to see.

"You were calling for Edward." I recalled suddenly. "Where is he?"

Elisa sighed now. "Running backwards. They're coming first. He'll never get here in time." She lifted her head and stared upwards at the still moving clouds in the sky.

My heart, which had almost returned to its normal pace, sped up again at her words, hammering so hard that I was sure it would beat its way out of my chest. "In time for what?"

She didn't answer. I didn't have the energy to press her further. I was beginning to feel sick now, like the air I was breathing was too heavy. My head was spinning dizzily and I wanted nothing more than to just wake up and leave all this confusion behind me. I tried to breathe deeply, hoping the fresh air would clear out whatever it was that was building in my chest, stifling me.

"Bella..." Elisa's voice was a whisper now, and for the first time since I'd found her here, I heard fear in it. Startled, I looked at her, and then followed her gaze towards the sky. Even as I watched, the clouds slowed their pace, and then stuttered to a complete stop. I watched in wonder as they remained completely still for a few seconds, then abruptly changed direction, moving back along the path that they had already taken. At the same time the wind switched direction as well, blowing my hair all around my face now, obscuring my vision.

"What's happening to me, Bella?" Her voice was younger now, more vulnerable, more of the Elisa that I knew.

"I don't know." I whispered back. "You've never told me your secrets." My stomach rolled abruptly, and I stopped trying to make sense of my own words, or of anything else, as a sickening realization hit me. I knew now why I felt so nauseated. The scent was clogging up my nostrils, drowning out the more benign smells of the forest, growing stronger, overwhelming me... Why hadn't I seen it sooner? Why hadn't I realized that there was a reason Elisa wouldn't face me? I stared at her hand, the one that still rested on the tree trunk, finally registering the dark substance that coated it.

"Elisa..." My voice was ragged now, terrified, but still, I had to see... "Elisa, turn around."

Slowly, she did, and as she faced me my stomach convulsed more violently than ever. Blood was spilled over her front, still wet, sticky, soaking through her white nightgown in angry splotches. The worst of it, though, was on her hands, coating her pale flesh as if she'd deliberately plunged her hands into a bucket of gore. My head spun more than ever at the sight.

I lurched away, feeling ashamed as I did so, knowing I should go to her, try to help, but the sight repelled me. "What happened to you?" The words burst forth from my lips.

"Oh, this?" Elisa looked down at the crimson coating her body as if it were nothing more than a bothersome grass stain. "Only what is inevitable. It's coming back, full circle. I learned my lesson well, but you knew this long before I ever did." Her eyes were sorrowful now. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"Why are you apologizing to me?" I stared at her, trying to comprehend her words. "You're the one who's hurt! Tell me what I can do, Elisa, please! Tell me how to help you!"

"You don't understand." Elisa whispered.

"Don't understand _what_?" My voice was desperate now.

Elisa stepped forward, and reached out to touch my face gently. I didn't want her hands on me, not with all that blood clinging to them, but I couldn't seem to move away. I let her fingers gently trail my cheek. As I watched, tears began to spill down her face. I struggled to comprehend what she was trying to tell me, why her face was so full of sadness and then suddenly, it clicked, and fear pressed in on me, chilling me from the inside out until I was shaking.

I understood now what she did not want to say, why her eyes were so full of regret. It wasn't her blood that covered her and made her look like an extra in a horror film.

It was _mine._

Abruptly, the forest was gone, the dream ripped away, and I was sitting up in my bed, gasping, sucking in the air that was rapidly washing the scent of blood out of my nostrils. Wildly, I looked around, trying to get my bearings. Belatedly, I realized that Elisa had sat up in the bed as well, her own breathing rapid. We stared at each other with wide eyes and for a moment, there was no other sound beside that of our combined hyperventilating.

Elisa was the first to calm down. She surveyed me with her green eyes, suddenly looking sympathetic. "You had a nightmare."

"Didn't you?" I blurted out, still barely awake.

For a moment there was a flicker of something - recognition? - in her eyes, but then it was gone and her face was only puzzled. "I don't think so. I don't remember if I was dreaming at all." She yawned lightly, then gave me another concerned look. "You look completely green. I guess the poetry was a bust. I'm going to get you a glass of water."

She started to crawl off the bed, but I reached out and grabbed her arm. "No...stay." My voice shook slightly, embarrassing me, but I knew I couldn't stand to be alone at the moment. The memory of the nightmare, the scent of my own blood, was still vivid in my mind, making my chest tighten all over again. Strange how just a little while ago my worst fear had been the wedding ceremony tomorrow, and now it seemed so petty, so far away, dwarfed by the terror my nocturnal wanderings had brought me.

Elisa hesitated for a moment, then nodded, sliding back onto the bed and leaning against her pillow. She patted my pillow, indicating I should do the same, and waited until I obeyed. She hesitated for a moment, then took my cold hand in her warm one, squeezing it lightly. "It was just a bad dream, Bella, that's all. The nerves are getting to you. Everything is going to be alright, I promise. Breathe deeply, and try to relax. Think about something peaceful, something that makes you feel safe." Her own eyes looked heavy as she spoke - clearly, she was exhausted.

For a moment trying to calm down seemed like a completely futile gesture, but then Edward's face came into my head with barely any effort at all, filling my mind with nothing but the perfection of his features. His eyes were soft, golden, and warm, looking back at me, and warmth spread through my body, easing me. I knew what he'd say if he were here. I could hear the words again in my head, what he'd said to me the last time we were in the meadow...

"_Bella, after everything you've been through, it's natural that you would be wary, even frightened, of what could be next. Add what happened to Elisa on top of all that, and you have a complete recipe for paranoia. But there's nothing out there now, nothing that wants to harm you. Even if there was, do you really think I'd let anything happen to you?"_

_'No.' _I told fantasy Edward in my head. _'I know you wouldn't. You're right - I'm being paranoid.' _I felt relief war with leftover fear as I forced myself to think logically. After everything that had happened to me, of course I was still afraid. I probably had post traumatic stress disorder or whatever it was called. But there was no reason for me to be scared now, not of anything beyond tomorrow and the ordeal it held. I would be safe with Edward, and soon, I'd be strong, invincible - then I'd be a force to be reckoned with myself. Not vulnerable or weak - not a liability.

Now I could feel the tiredness that I'd been too keyed up to notice before, seeping into my bones, and I allowed my eyes to close once again, pretending Edward's arms were around me, forcing myself to ignore the last bits of fear as I finally began to drift off once more.

_**Edward:**_

_And now i tell you openly  
You have my heart so don't hurt me  
You're what i couldn't find  
A totally amazing mind  
So understanding and so kind  
You're everything to me_

'Dreams', The Cranberries

I climbed out of the Volvo, exerting just enough pressure on the driver's side door for it to shut with a firm click that would have barely registered on human ears. Of course, to every person in my house the sound was a signal. They'd already known I was there - they had heard me coming up the driveway minutes ago, but now they knew I was on my way inside and their thoughts crested and reached a fever pitch. The wide variety of their inner words brought out a tidal wave of emotion in me, everything from love and gratitude to irritation and even embarrassment. I stayed still where I was for the moment, preparing myself for the onslaught.

_I was so afraid this day would never come and now that it's almost here - is this what it was like, to dream as a human? I can barely remember now but I'm afraid I'll open my eyes and it all would have been a wish in my head..._

_Finally - nice of him to tear himself away from his human to spend a few minutes with his family!_ _Hope it wasn't too much of a burden..._

_Man, could he move any slower? He must know what Jasper and I want to talk to him about...c'mon, Edward, you can't avoid us all night.._

_Could he really be considering what Emmett says he's considering? Would Edward really be that foolish? I have to speak to him..._

_I am so proud, my son, so very proud..._

_Edward, stop stalling and get in this house __**now**__! Everyone's been waiting for you!_

At Alice's summons, I grinned despite myself. A few seconds later I was walking in the door and into the living room. They were all there, standing throughout the room, waiting.

"It's about time!" Alice burst out at my entrance. She danced forward to throw herself in my arms, hugging me tightly. "Can you believe it, Edward? Just a few more hours and you'll be a married man." She took a deep, shuddering breath as she stepped back and surveyed me. "I think the rehearsal tonight went very well, don't you? I know Bella was nervous, but it wasn't so bad. Of course, I hope she doesn't fall tomorrow but even if she does - well, as long as she doesn't break anything it's all good. Everything is going to go perfectly -well, there's a little hiccup with the flowers and there's something else you need to take care of too but - "

"Alice." I cut her off mid-stream. "I can see Bella is not the only one who's nervous."

For a moment she looked irked that I had caught her, then her lips twitched into a smile. "I can't help it. I've looked and looked and everything is fine right now, but - I've been waiting for this day, Edward, for so long. Far longer than you - I knew it was going to happen way back when you were still trying to make Bella into nothing more than a memory. Now it's here and it's almost too good to be true. Can you blame me for being just a little anxious?"

"Alice," I said again, and stepped forward to put my hands on her tiny shoulders. "Have I mentioned lately how very much I owe you?"

"Hmmm." she pursed her lips. "Now that I think about it...no." She grinned. "There's only one thing I want from you right now, Edward, and that is to see you and Bella standing side by side tomorrow at the altar. So please, don't get any last minute doubts, or moronic notions of self-sacrifice and mess it all up and I'll consider us even. Alright?"

"Understood." I pulled her tiny frame closer to me for another hug, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Without you, none of this would be happening. Don't think that I have _ever_ forgotten that, Alice."

Alice took a deep breath and pulled back. In a very human gesture, she waved her small hands in front of her face as if warding off tears, and then beamed at me. "Stop it before I get all emotional. I still have a lot to double-check and I don't need you to distract me. Besides, I'm not the only person who wanted to speak to you." Gracefully, she stepped aside, and Esme came forward, her arms outstretched.

"Edward..." she breathed as she embraced me. "I don't even know how to put into words how happy I am for you and Bella. This day took its sweet time getting here, but it's been worth the wait."

I just nodded, smiling down at her as she beamed back up at me, then suddenly her face was serious. "I prayed for you, Edward, to a God that I wasn't even sure would acknowledge me any longer. I prayed that you would find a reason for this life, and that you wouldn't have to live it alone. And He sent you Bella. You haven't been forgotten - none of us have. When you look at your bride tomorrow, remember that."

"Thank you. I will." My voice was hoarse as we pulled apart, and I squeezed her hand in mine, not trusting my voice to say more. Esme nodded, her own eyes bright with emotion, and then my father stepped forward.

He was beaming, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he surveyed me, and then he raised his arms in an elegant shrug. "What is left for me to say? I'm so happy for you, Edward, and so proud."

"Thank you, Father, for everything. For saving me, for putting up with me all these years, for accepting me back again and again. I can only imagine what a trial I must have been to you."

Carlisle smiled at me again and shook his head. "Edward, after all these years, you still don't truly understand, do you? You speak as if you were such a burden to me and that was never the case. You gave me back everything - hope, purpose, a reason to continue. You have always been such a gift to me. I've often wondered how it would have gone if I had chosen less wisely - if it hadn't been you, if it had been someone not as pure, not as strong, would I have had the courage to try again? I don't think so. There would have been no Esme, no one following after her, no 'us' at all. I don't even think there would have been a _me_ by this point. Don't you realize? You saved me too."

I was at a rare loss for words, trying to find a way to possibly convey to Carlisle what I was feeling at the moment, when my brothers came up on either side of me.

"Sorry to break up such a tender moment, but it's our turn now." Emmett grinned down at me. "Come on, Edward...let's walk." He slung a muscular arm around my shoulder hard enough to make me stumble. On the other side of me, Jasper did the same, and then I was being frogmarched towards the glass doors that opened onto the back lawn.

I was torn between relief that they had lightened the seriously emotional atmosphere and embarrassment at what I knew was coming. Sure enough, as soon as we got outside Emmett turned to me.

"So, our Edward is finally taking the plunge." He grinned wickedly. "By tomorrow night, you're going to be a married man. And that is why - well, it is our solemn duty, as your brothers, to clue you in on a few facts of life. You might want to sit down for this one." He indicated the patio chair next to me.

I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes skyward. "I've been around longer than you have, Emmett, and I've witnessed quite a bit. I think we can safely consider that I am sufficiently 'clued in' already."

"No, no, Edward, not so fast now." Emmett shook his finger at me. "Hearing and seeing through other's eyes is not the same as experiencing it yourself. Now this is one area where I know a hell of a lot more than you, so I suggest you relax and listen up, little brother."

I tensed and began to frown, but then the atmosphere lightened considerably, and despite myself I began to relax. I found myself smiling reluctantly as I turned to Jasper. "Thanks. Fine, you two - go ahead. I'm listening."

"Wait a second." Jasper interrupted whatever Emmett had been about to say. "Emmett's right? Are you _serious_? Are you really planning to - with Bella -_before_ she's changed?" He stared at me. "Edward, you've got to understand how dangerous that is!"

I stared down at my feet, knowing that if I had been human, I would be purple by now. "Jasper, I have considered all the...ramifications, believe me, I have. It's the only thing Bella has asked me for, the one human experience she doesn't want to miss, and I promised her that I would try. I will be careful, I swear it."

Jasper stared hard at me. "Emmett's right, Edward. You really don't know what you're talking about, no matter how much you've seen. When you're with a woman, making love to her, you're going to experience feelings and sensations that you have never even conceived of before. Your body and your instincts will take over in a way that's just as intense and still totally different then the strongest of blood lust. You're taking a far more immense risk then you realize. It will be easier than you understand to lose control. Don't do this now. Tell her that you've changed your mind, that you have to wait. It's for the best."

My insides twisted now with indecision and longing as I considered his words, and the promise I'd made to Bella. My conflict must have been apparent on my face, because Emmett frowned and then pushed Jasper aside.

"Hey now, let's not forget exactly who we're talking about here." He gave Jasper an exasperated look. "This is Edward, king of self-control! Look at what he's managed to resist so far! He should have killed Bella that first day. Any one of us would have done it, if they'd been faced with what he had. Even Alice would have done it, Jasper, and don't give me that look. You know she would have. But Edward learned at the knee of the master, and he learned well. You're stronger than all of us, bro. If you really believe that you can do this, then I say full speed ahead." He grinned at me, then snickered as he registered his own words. "Well, ok, maybe not_ full _speed ahead. Women get irritated if things go a bit too quickly." He laughed now.

Jasper was still shaking his head, but as his eyes met mine he stilled, then shrugged. "I suppose Emmett has a point. Alright - it's your decision. Just be sure you've really thought it through."

"Thanks." I muttered, running a hand through my hair. "Both of you." I turned back towards the house, relieved to have this small torture over with, but Emmett stepped in front of me once again, blocking my path. I groaned as his thoughts reached me before his words did.

"Hey! Where are you rushing off to? We aren't done yet, not by a long shot. Don't you want to reap the benefits of our expertise?"

"Oh, please." I grimaced. "I've unfortunately been subjected to the visual more times then I care to recall." I looked at Emmett's determined face, then sighed, slumping into the patio chair. "Fine. Teach me, O Wise Ones."

Jasper just laughed, shoving his lean hands into his pockets, content to step back and let Emmett do all the talking. Emmett was still grinning wickedly as he pulled up another chair and sat down, angled towards me.

"Alright, here we go. First of all, Edward, when a man and a woman _really_ love each other - "

"Oh, _shut up_!" I started to stand, but Emmett's legs kicked out in a flash and knocked me back into the chair.

"Relax, _Eddie_, I'm just having fun with you. But seriously though..." He leaned forward to capture my gaze. "Just...take it slow and easy. Don't worry about making it perfect, or getting everything right. Let your instincts take over - well, not all over of them - but the right ones. Let her take the lead...follow her cues. You'll find that both of you know more than you could have ever imagined." He stood up now, and I followed suit, amused to see that for once, he was actually looking a bit embarrassed himself.

"I'm truly happy for you. Both of you. You know that, right?" Emmett's voice was still uncharacteristically serious as he faced me.

"I do, Emmett. Thank you."

I turned to Jasper, and he just smiled. "You're not going to ask me to make a speech too, are you? You already know that this is what I want for you. Congratulations, Edward." He grabbed me now, pulling me in a for an appropriately manly hug, meaning that we barely touched before he pulled away and slapped me hard enough on the back that it was a good thing I didn't need my lungs anymore - I was pretty sure he'd damaged them beyond repair.

"Come on, let's go inside so Esme can gush over you some more." Emmett indicated the bright light spilling out of the windows.

"Just give me a minute." I nodded at them, indicating they should go on ahead. In a quick rush, they were gone. I remained seated, feeling the wind begin to rise around me, rushing the few clouds out of the surprisingly clear night sky. I looked up, observing the bright stars that were usually hidden behind a thick blanket of gray or black. I wasn't worried about the fact that the skies were so bright. According to Alice, tomorrow would begin with sunshine, but the clouds would roll in by eleven and it would stay overcast, but dry, for the rest of the day. The ceremony itself would not begin until one o'clock so we were completely safe. Our wedding day would be perfect.

Our wedding day... I let that thought chase everything else away, any lingering fears or doubts, until there was nothing left but the glowing happiness that I still suspected I didn't truly deserve. I no longer cared. It was mine, and I was holding on to it with both hands. After tomorrow, nothing would ever separate Bella from me again.

_Are you going to stay outside all night? _

Alice's mental summons brought me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see her framed in the back doorway, waiting. I jumped to my feet and together, we walked back into the house to be greeted by smiles from nearly everyone - except Rosalie. I looked over to see her on her usual window seat, dark eyes fixed on me. At my glance she raised an eyebrow.

_Remembered me, have you?_

I frowned. Underneath the sarcasm, there was just a twinge of hurt. As I was considering what to say to her without the two of us getting into yet another argument, Emmett spoke up, interrupting the moment.

"So this is it, Edward - your last night of freedom. We're not just going to sit around the house, are we? Come on, let's go! Let's do something!" His feet were already moving back and forth anxiously as he waited for my response.

I frowned as his mind went through a quick list of possibilities - each more dangerous than the last, and none particularly appealing to me. "I don't think so, Emmett."

"It's up to you, sweetheart." It was Esme that spoke up now. "This is your night - you can spend it however you want it."

"Really?" I thought for a moment, then looked over at Alice. "_However _I want?"

"Of course." Alice agreed absently, her mind back on her checklist, then suddenly she caught the tone of my voice and turned to scowl at me. "Edward! No! It's bad luck!"

Heads were turning, looking back and forth between us, and I saw understanding dawn on the rest of my family's faces.

"Dude, you are _so_ whipped." Emmett shook his head and made a cracking noise.

I wasn't listening for the rest of their reactions. My eyes were back on Alice, waiting for her response. She knew what I wanted, but if it was truly going to make her anxious, I'd stick it out here. It was the least I could do for her after all she'd done for me and Bella. Although I'd have to make her feel excruciatingly guilty about it, just to pass the time.

"Edward." Alice's voice was an impatient growl. My eyes must have been more pleading then I realized. "You really can't spend just one night away from her?"

"You said I could spend this night any way I wanted." I pointed out. "It's what I want. Besides, I don't believe in luck, bad or otherwise."

Alice's face went reluctantly blank as she checked to make sure I wasn't about to set some monumental disaster into motion, and then she sighed. "Fine. Go. Be back early or you'll be hopping down the aisle on one leg." Her glare dissolved into a grin as I kissed her cheek.

"Thank you!" I whispered in her ear, and then, with an unapologetic grin for the rest of them, I turned towards the door. A low, mental hiss caught my attention before I could move through it though, and I turned back to see Rosalie standing now, her arms folded across her chest as she glowered at me.

"I haven't forgotten, Rosalie." I said hastily, although I had. "I'll be back early. We'll talk then, I promise."

_I'll hold you to that. _She frowned at me for one more moment, before dismissing me from her thoughts, her mind turning to plans for distracting Emmett from his disappointment over my abandoning ship. With a last grateful look at her -which she ignored- I was off and running.

The trees streaked by as I traveled the path I'd so often taken, going back to the only place I wanted to be. The run was exhilarating, but still, I was relieved when I found myself reaching the edge of the trees that bordered Bella's lawn. I stopped there, staring up at her darkened window for a moment, just breathing in the familiar scent of her home.

My nose twitched and I inhaled again, then exhaled in disgust, a low growl issuing automatically from my throat. I forced myself to shake it off, to straighten from the attacking stance I'd instinctively fallen into. I looked around now, deliberately breathing in this time, allowing my mind to open, searching.

No, there was no one here now, but he'd been here earlier...Jacob. There was no mistaking that scent. Why had he come here? Had he spoken to her, tried to get her to change her mind? Was she with him right now?

Fighting against my sudden, irrationally raging jealousy I crept forward slowly on to the lawn. The fury quickly washed away as his scent immediately began to fade - he'd come no closer than these trees, and there was no indication that she'd gone to him, either. I felt almost weak with relief, and at the same time, utterly foolish. I had faith in Bella. She'd chosen me. And as for Jacob Black - how could I hate him? Because he loved her? Because he owned a corner of her heart that I could never touch? Nothing ever would have happened between them if I hadn't left her, and I had to accept the consequences for what I'd done.

It didn't matter. I'd worry about Jacob Black in the morning. For now, I had much better things to do. Springing forward, I jumped, clinging to the wall below her window with the tips of my fingers, silently climbing upwards. I paused just before I peered over the window ledge. I could smell her delicious scent so clearly now, just feet away from me, mingling with Elisa's spicier smell. Farther away, I sensed Chief Swan, his senses and odors clouded by the six pack he'd consumed earlier that night. He was restless, and dreaming. Elisa slept too, her mind a confusing jumble of images that I didn't have any desire to delve into.

I was relieved to find the window still open, and silently, I climbed over the sill and then sat down on it, allowing my eyes to finally seek her out. My Bella...she was sleeping on her side, curled towards me, an arm slightly over her face. I could see that her brow was furrowed in the moonlight, and even in slumber she seemed tense. I saw with a little surprise that Elisa was on the other side of the bed, facing away from me. Apparently, the sleeping bag idea had been abandoned. I couldn't really blame her there - the floor didn't look very comfortable.

I didn't go any further into the room then the window sill. This was all I had wanted - one last chance to watch Bella as she slept, not knowing that I was there. The feeling that it created in me, to see her lying there, took me back to the first night I'd come here. Did she even know how lost in her I'd been then, how utterly perplexed by my own fascination with her every word and gesture? I had barely been able to grasp the depth of my feelings then, and now - well, with time it seemed that they would be tempered, not so vivid, fading perhaps, into comfort and easy familiarity but it was not that way with us. Every moment I spent with Bella felt like I was discovered something new and unheard of all over again. I could spend forever here and never grow tired of the sight.

_Gah! __**Edward!**_

To my own surprise, I nearly jumped at the sound of my name being thought so loudly, and then I looked to see Elisa sitting up in the bed, staring at me. Her green eyes were clouded with sleep but still, they were wide and staring. I had been so absorbed in my own thoughts and emotions that I hadn't realized she was waking up. Mentally, I cursed myself for being so careless. With a sigh, I realized that if I left immediately, she'd probably fall right back asleep and not remember a thing in the morning. I was trying to convince myself that this was the best course of action when Elisa's eyes narrowed slightly. She was too tired to speak out loud, but her thoughts were as sharp as ever.

_I can't believe I used to think it was romantic that you watched Bella as she slept. You're totally creepy. _

My lips twitched. "Sorry." I whispered, barely audible, hoping she'd be able to read my lips in the moonlight. "I'm leaving now."

_Wait. _

I paused as Elisa rubbed her eyes, then looked back at me and sighed. _Stay. Bella had a nightmare and she's been restless ever since. I think she'd sleep better with you here. _With that, she abruptly rolled off the bed, landing with a soft thud on her sleeping bag. I could hear the nylon rustling as she climbed inside of it, pulling the fabric over her head.

Cautiously, I crept over to the bed, climbing onto the still warm side that Elisa had just vacated. I looked down at her, or rather the lump in the sleeping bag that was all I could see of her, and felt a rush of gratitude. "Thank you, Elisa." My voice was still nearly silent, but I knew she could hear me.

_Whatever. If everything goes to hell tomorrow it's all your fault, I hope you know._

I couldn't help but chuckle softly and suddenly Bella moved, turning over and nuzzling into my side. "Edward..." she breathed lightly, still asleep, and I felt the tension drain out of her body. I leaned down and pressed my lips to her hair.

"Sleep, Bella. I'm here now...no more nightmares." A slight smile curved her lips as I smoothed a lock of hair off of her face, and then she was still once more.

"Good night, Elisa." I leaned over the side of the bed to whisper to my newest sibling.

_Good night, Stalker Boy_.

I laughed silently to myself at Elisa's final thought before she drifted off to sleep once more. I was still feeling very grateful to her and just a tad bit guilty for teasing her so much about the driving lessons. Then again, she truly had been a disaster behind the wheel - bad enough for me to genuinely worry about her safety if she ever managed to lure some dim-witted DMV clerk into giving her a license. Maybe I'd still get her a car for her birthday though...with a driver to go along with it.

Beside me, Bella stirred once more, immediately diverting my thoughts back to her. Worried that some inadvertent movement I had made was disturbing her, I held completely still, not even breathing, until she was quiet again. Then I relaxed slightly, leaning back against Elisa's pillow, closing my eyes as I absorbed Bella's human warmth into my cold skin. It was, as always, an extraordinary feeling. _Everything_ about this night was extraordinary - both an end and a beginning. The beginning of a future I looked forward to in ways I could never have imagined just a few short years ago. Bella had changed everything when she'd come into my life. I remembered what Carlisle had said to me earlier, when I'd thanked him for saving me, and I realized how well I could apply those words to her as well. She'd always considered me her hero, the one who had protected her life over and over, but she didn't know how much she'd done for me in return.

_Don't you realize, Bella? You saved me too._

Unable to help myself, I pulled her gently over to me and into my arms. Her eyes fluttered open lightly and then she smiled at me. "I knew you'd come back." Her whisper trailed off and she closed her eyes again, putting her head on my chest. Her voice was exhausted, and I realized, just as I thought with Elisa earlier, that she would probably not remember this in the morning. With a smile, I tightened my arms ever so slightly around her as she drifted off again, and I settled back to wait for dawn to break on the happiest day of my life.

_So far._

_**To Be Continued...**_

**Credits: **

**Lyrics from Like a Virgin/Madonna**

**The poem that Elisa was reciting is called The Cottage of Lost Play by J.R.R. Tolkien. **

**Thank you again so much for reading this very long chapter! I would love to hear your feedback. **

**In chapter seven, it's the morning of the wedding and all is not going smoothly. A carelessly blurted out revelation rattles the bride, and unexpected guests come in threes...**

**The wedding day (and night -gulp-) is going to take a few chapters to get through - it is a major event, after all. Lots going on! :D**


	7. Wedding Daze Part One

**Welcome to the first half of Wedding Daze...yes, folks, this is only HALF the chapter. And yes, I pretty much expect the second half to be just as long. Much of it is already written, but it will take me another day or two to get it to my satisfaction (Edward's giving me fits at the moment), and I've felt so guilty about keeping everyone waiting that I wanted to go ahead and upload what I've finished. Once again, thank you for your patience and thank you a hundred times over to everyone who has left me such great reviews and added me as a favorite. **

**I'm sorry I've kept you waiting...these last few weeks were rough, thanks to a combination of writer's block, raging insecurity, and family demands. I think I'm better able to balance things now though, so there shouldn't be any more big delays between chapters.**

**Oh, and for those who have been receiving notices for my Passions story, Whisper, in your inboxes, rest assured it is not a story I'm currently writing - I would never take time away from Evening Falls to tackle another series. Whisper is a story I wrote about two years ago, and I'm archiving it, which is why I upload so many chapters at once. Sorry about the extra spam in your inboxes.**

**OK, on with the story.**

**Elisa**:

_It's a beautiful day_

_don't let it get away..._

Beautiful Day, U2

It had me.

I struggled and thrashed against the restraining grip, fighting to free myself before I suffocated inside its sinister grasp but I couldn't get free, couldn't get the air I desperately needed. Gasping for breath, I summoned my waning strength and tried again, throwing myself back and forth and then, suddenly, I was loose, on the cold floor, eyes flying open, drawing the cool, much needed air into my lungs.

I sat up, completely disoriented for a moment, but then, as the weak sunlight washed over me, waking me, I realized where I was. I was in Bella's room. It was morning and I was safe. The 'sinister presence' that had been suffocating me was nothing more then a combination of the sleeping bag I'd zipped over my head and a rapidly fading dream.

Dream...I jumped up suddenly as I remembered. Edward had been here last night - or was that just a dream too? I stared at Bella's bed. She still slept, curled up on her side. The side I'd turned over to him was empty. There wasn't even an impression of his head on my pillow. Maybe I'd just imagined it. I pondered that possibility for a few minutes and then snickered to myself. I definitely didn't imagine it. The only thing that really should have surprised me is that he'd left her alone at all. I swear if he could have surgically attached himself to her side, he would have.

Bella stirred restlessly in her sleep and I pondered waking her up, but remembering how restless she'd been last night I figured she deserved her last few minutes of oblivion. While I waited to wake her, I occupied myself by folding my blankets and rolling my sleeping bag up. That done, I then crept around her bed to retrieve my pillow. I was about to toss it onto my tied sleeping bag when the scent hit me. I leaned closer, inhaling. My pillow smelled _good_. Unable to resist, I held it to my face again. _Really_ good. Intoxicating even...

"Elisa, are you alright?"

The sound of Bella's sleepy mumble had me jerking my face away. My face turned purple as I realized I was practically making out with my pillow. How embarrassing for her to catch me. Quickly, I tossed the pillow away and then walked over to the still open window, I stuck my head out, enjoying the cool morning breeze coupled with the feel of rare Washington sunshine on my skin, soothing my blush away.

Then a sudden realization slammed into me and I yanked my head back inside so fast that I ended up banging it on the window frame. Ignoring the pain, I hurried over to Bella's bed and threw myself on it, bouncing up and down on my knees excitedly. "Bella!" My voice was exuberant. "It's your _wedding day_!"

Bella had lain back down, her arm thrown casually over her face, but at my words she sat up abruptly, eyes widening with unmistakable terror. "Oh _no_!" she moaned. "It IS!"

I bit my lip. Perhaps I should have eased her into that a little bit more. "Bella, everything is going to be - "

"I can't do this!" She gasped, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, looking like she was going to bolt any minute. "I absolutely can't - " Her frantic eyes were touring the room as she spoke and suddenly she stopped speaking, her gaze locked on the window. For a few seconds she was silent, staring, and then she spoke again, her voice an amazed whisper now. "Is that - _sunshine_?"

"Um...yeah." I was surprised not only by her sudden change of topic, but at the pure happiness creeping into her expression. "I know it's kind of rare here but I'm sure you remember the phenomenon."

"YES!" Bella's exhilarated shout made me jump and nearly fall off the bed. She leapt up with a joyous expression and ran to the window. "Saved by sweet, glorious sunlight - someone up there _loves_ me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" With that, she rushed over to her packed suitcase, unzipped it, and began digging frantically through the contents.

I watched her with rising concern. This was bad. This was _really_ bad. Clearly, the stress of her upcoming nuptials had finally caused her to snap. "Um, Bella...what are you talking about?" My voice was wary.

"Don't you get it, Elisa?" Bella's voice was positively gleeful. "We were supposed to have an _outdoor_ ceremony! We're going to have to cancel!" Her face still alight, she pulled a pair of jeans and a T-shirt from the suitcase and then zipped it close. Her glow dimmed slightly then as she seemed to consider something. "Of course Alice will be disappointed - I mean, what is she going to tell all the guests? Ceremony called on account of sparkling?" She chuckled softly, then sighed again. "And I should call Edward too - I'm sure he's upset."

"_Bella_." My need to tell her that she was being completely delusional was offset by my rising irritation over how happy she was to believe that months of careful planning had just gone down the toilet. "Are you really that relieved to _not_ be getting married?" I couldn't hide the indignant tone in my voice.

"Oh, I'm still getting married." Bella's voice was determined as she looked around the room, probably for her cell phone. "I'll just have Edward take me to Vegas like we should have in the first place. With the way he drives, I'll be Mrs. Cullen before the sun sets." She grinned. "Really, things couldn't have worked out any better. Hey, do you want to come with us?"

"Sure -wait, no! I mean, yes, I would come if the ceremony was really off but - "

She wasn't listening. "Maybe if we let Alice drive us in her Porsche she won't be too disappointed. We can make a real trip of it, bring the rest of the family, Charlie...heck, I'll even bring the dress!"

"Bella?" I tried again but she kept going.

"Rosalie would go, don't you think? I mean she'll probably think it's tacky but of course I really want all of you there. This is just going to be _so _much better without the whole town - "

"Bella!"

"What?" She finally broke off, much to my relief.

I inhaled deeply. There was no way to break this to her gently. "Time to come out of Fantasy Land and return to the real world, Bella. The ceremony is _not_ cancelled! Did you really think Alice would get this so wrong? The sunshine will be gone by late morning and the ceremony doesn't begin until afternoon. Even if it was going to be sunny all day we'd just move everything inside the house. You're not getting out of this so easily and deep down, you knew that all along."

The euphoria. along with all the color, began to drain out of Bella's expression. "It's...still happening?" She nearly whimpered.

"_Yes!" _I took several deep breaths before I could force myself to plaster on my best sympathetic expression. It was difficult to maintain - Bella had thrown herself back onto her bed and I was pretty sure she was trying to suffocate herself with her own pillow. Mentally, I ran down my list of acceptable bridesmaid's etiquette, wondering if there was any kind of loophole that allowed me to smack the bride if she really needed it.

"Just calm down, OK? It's all going to be - " I sighed, not finishing. How many times could I say it would be alright? Besides, it's not like she was listening anyway.

My thoughts drifted away from her and towards the rest of the day. I still couldn''t believe it was here...the day that we'd all been dreaming of and looking forward to for so long. Everything was in place...the wedding ceremony and reception would be held on the Cullens' massive lawn. I smiled to myself, remembering the transformation the house had undergone in the last few days...the pavilion and raised platform that had been erected for the band and DJ to perform in, with a large enough space for dancing. The tables had been set up under a massive tent in case of rain...of course, Alice knew that there wouldn't be any but this was the Olympic Peninsula and we had to look like we had prepared for every eventuality.

My attention was diverted by a distant knock at the front door. "They're here!" I burst out, relieved. The plan was for the bridal party to get ready here, and head over to the house shortly before the ceremony, so it had to be Alice and Rosalie at the door. Jessica and Angela weren't due for another hour. Esme had originally planned to come as well, but at the last minute she and Alice had decided that Esme would be the one to stay behind and oversee all the last minute arrangements, knowing that Bella would need her maid of honor in these last few nervewracking hours.

At my words, Bella just groaned louder and put her pillow over her head. Rolling my eyes, I hurried out of her room and down the hallway, meaning to rush downstairs and open the door before the knocking woke Chief Swan, but as I got to the top of the stairs I heard his voice greeting the new arrivals. Apparently he was an early riser - impressive, considering the amount he'd had to drink the night before.

"Alice, it's great to see you!" Chief Swan bent down to give Alice a small hug as she came inside, flanked by Rosalie. Both of them were wearing wide-brimmed hats, long gloves, and each was closing a small, gaily decorated parasol as they moved into the dimly lit hallway. Chief Swan chuckled as he looked at them. "You ladies sure are careful about your complexions."

"Harmful UV rays are nothing to be taken lightly." Alice said in a mock serious voice, smiling. Then she looked up at the staircase and her eyes met mine as I stood there. "Hello, Elisa! How's our bride this morning?"

I sighed. "Sinking like the Titanic. I think she needs you."

Alice frowned and hurried to join me as another knock sounded at the door.

"That will be the driver with the garment bags." Esme said after us as we left them downstairs. "We'll be right up!"

I led Alice back to the bedroom, where Bella was still trying to bury herself under the comforter. "Oh, honestly, Bella, this is ridiculous!" Alice snapped as she pulled it off of her and with one quick motion dragged her to her feet. "Pull yourself together! We have barely five hours left to get all of us ready and nobody has time for this!"

"Alice..." Bella stared at her with panicked eyes. "I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't. I really _can't_. Please let Edward take me to Las Vegas instead, I'm begging you! I'll do anything...I'll be your slave for eternity!"

Alice rolled her eyes as she stowed her parasol in the corner and then took off her hat and peeled off her gloves, tossing both onto Bella's bed. "Don't even try it."

Bella stared up at her, brown eyes wide with desperation, and Alice sighed. Her expression softening, she sat down next to her on the bed and began to speak to her quietly. Whatever she was saying didn't seem to be doing any good though - Bella sat back on the corner of the bed, shoulders slumped, and crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't speak, but her brown eyes were resentful as she stared at Alice. I watched her in amazement. Was she _pouting_? How sad that I suddenly felt like a true model of dignity and maturity next to her.

"She is such a petulant child sometimes." Rosalie's low, irritated voice sounded in my ear, echoing my thoughts.

"Good morning, Rosalie." I turned to greet her, smiling widely.

"Good morning, Elisa." Rosalie took her eyes off of Bella and gazed at me. "How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

Rosalie lifted her shoulders elegantly. "You look tired." She looked at my face closely. "Didn't you sleep well?"

I rolled my eyes. "Ask your brother. He has _serious_ issues, by the way."

Rosalie laughed. "Tell me about it." She turned then, and I saw Alice shepherding Bella out of the room. Rosalie inclined her head, indicating that I should follow. "Go eat. I'm going to dress and when you get back, it's your turn. I'll help you with your hair and makeup. Hurry up - we don't have long before Jessica and Angela are supposed to be here."

After a quick breakfast, which Bella insisted on cooking despite my protests, we were back upstairs. Alice whisked Bella off to the bathroom, loading her down with expensive shampoos, conditioners, and other various hair products before she went. I was pretty sure Bella hadn't listened to one word of the detailed instructions on what she was supposed to do with each bottle so it would be interesting to see how that turned out.

Rosalie was already in her bridesmaid's gown, awaiting me, and as soon I re-entered the room she helped zip me into the beautiful pink bridesmaid gown that matched hers. Then she sat me down to brush out my hair and then fasten a bit of it back with a silver hair clip. After that, she carefully applied just a slight amount of makeup to my face. I had to admit that I was touched by her attention. I didn't quite understand why she was so tolerant of me. At home, I couldn't seem to keep myself from following her around like a pet dog, constantly waiting for the moment that she'd turn on me and tell me to stop bothering her, but so far, it hadn't come. It was funny how that had worked out. Before I had ever come here, when the Cullens were nothing more but a story to me, I had always thought Alice would be the one I'd relate to the most, the one I'd want to hang out with. Not that I didn't adore Alice - it would have been impossible not to - but with Rosalie, I felt like I could be myself in a way that I couldn't be with anyone else. Odd that I could feel that way about someone who had once wanted to kill me.

Rosalie didn't worry over me like Esme, or tiptoe around my feelings the way Alice and Bella sometimes did. She just seemed to naturally believe that I could handle whatever she or the rest of the world threw at me, and I had to admit, that was reassuring. If someone like her, who had been around for so long and been through much, much worse than I had, could believe that I was strong enough to make it through the darkest places, then it seemed idiotic, almost disrespectful, to not believe in myself.

"We should re-do your nails." Rosalie said suddenly, looking at my hands with a frown. "You've been picking at the polish."

I smiled guiltily. "Sorry." I said, and then looked at the bottles of nail polish on the dresser. "How about the red?"

"That's too dark for you." Rosalie objected. "Why don't we do another coat of the pink instead?"

"But I like the red." I protested as I reached for it. At the same time, Rosalie reached out for the pearly pink polish next to it and our hands collided. Her fingers bumped into the red bottle and it tipped over, spilling a flood of crimson first onto my palm and then onto the dresser.

"Now look what you've done." Rosalie's voice sounded above me but I was staring at my stained hand. "I'm going to get some paper towels."

I'd barely noticed that she left. My eyes were stuck to the splash of scarlet on my skin. It was too familiar, that splotch of red. It reminded me too much of - I closed my eyes as the images came back in horribly vivid detail...

"Elisa? Are you alright?" My eyes flew open as Bella's voice floated toward me from the other side of the room. She'd come in from the shower without me noticing, and stood there now in her robe as Alice combed some clear gel through her wet hair. Instantly, my fingers closed around my palm, hiding the stain from her. Bella had enough on her mind right now and the last thing she needed was me dumping my mental defects on her. So I forced a false note of cheer into my voice and did exactly what I had done the night before when she'd asked me if I'd had a bad dream.

I lied.

"I'm fine." I forced a weak smile but I could feel that my expression was far shakier than I would like. "Just a little accident. I need to wash my hands." With that, I rushed past her and out of the room, nearly bumping into Rosalie who was on her way back inside with a roll of paper towels. With barely an apology, I ran down the hallway to the bathroom.

Closing my hand over the wet nail polish had been a bad idea. My fingers were nearly glued to my palm and I had to force my hand to re-open. It took me several minutes of scrubbing to remove all traces of the nail polish from my skin but even then I kept washing my hands over and over until the skin was red and raw looking. It wasn't enough. I could still feel it, the coats of sticky, warm blood that had covered my flesh in my dreams last night...why wouldn't it go away? I couldn't fight the fear anymore. For a second I just stood that, letting it wash over me, clinging to the sink for support. I knew my breath was coming in gasps but I couldn't help it. All I could see before me was the guilty girl covered in Bella's blood.

_It was going to be all __**my**__ fault... _I didn't know where the words came from, or why they stayed in my mind like a tape looping the same phrase over and over, but it wouldn't leave my head.

_"Knock it off, Elisa." _I grumbled softly to myself. _"This is hardly the day or time for your psycho meltdown. It was a stupid nightmare and that's it. Get over it already."_

"Elisa!" Rosalie's voice sounded outside the door. "Hurry up in there!"

"I'll be right out!" I called back, hoping my voice sounded normal. Apparently it did not, because there was a pause, and then Rosalie spoke again, her voice more subdued now. "Is everything OK?"

"It's - " my voice was coming out choked and I quietly cleared my throat, trying again. "It's fine; I was just worried that I had gotten nail polish on my dress." As I spoke, I stared at myself in the mirror, forcing the anxious expression to leave my eyes. I practiced a few quick smiles until they weren't entirely fake looking anymore, then plastered one on and opened the door.

"All done!" I told Rosalie brightly. "Sorry about that - I'm a klutz."

Rosalie smiled back, looking relieved. "We'll do the red nail polish if you really want it."

I shuddered. "No - I changed my mind. The pink goes better with everything." Plus I never wanted that shade of red near my hands again. I shivered slightly as I thought that, and Rosalie noticed. Her eyes darkened as she took in my expression. "Elisa, what's going on?"

I paused, then looked at her with a deliberate frown. Her eyebrow arched and I let myself pout slightly. "It's just that..." I sighed heavily. "Here I was, thinking I actually looked decent for once, but compared to you I feel like a broken piece of glass on display next to a diamond." As I looked at her, I realized how true that was. We were dressed identically, but in comparison to her stunning beauty, I felt like the plainest of Janes.

"Elisa!" Rosalie looked torn between flattery and exasperation. She shook her head, smiling. "Thank you, but _you_ look absolutely adorable."

"Oh great." I rolled my eyes. "What am I, five?"

Rosalie laughed now. "Is there another adjective you'd prefer?"

"Alluring...sexy...unforgettable...anything but _adorable_! I am so tired of being cute. It's just another way of saying I'm short and I look too young." My pout was real now.

"You have plenty of time for alluring and sexy, Elisa." Rosalie's voice took on a mildly chastising tone now. "Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. The time goes so much faster than you realize...be innocent while you can." Suddenly, her eyes were stark.

At that precise moment there was a knock at the door. "Angela and Jessica!" I burst out, relieved at the distraction. With an apologetic look at Rosalie, I rushed past her and down the stairs, beating Chief Swan to the front door. He looked relieved to be able to return to the television in the living room without having to deal with more overly emotional females.

"Hey, you guys!" I opened the door to see Jessica and Angela standing there, a bit odd looking in full makeup and elaborately coiffed hairstyles coupled with the casual sweats both were wearing. After Alice had had a vision of Jessica showing up in a stained and wrinkled bridesmaid gown, she'd insisted on keeping all the dresses with her until the day of the ceremony. They were upstairs now, ready to wear.

I ushered them into the hallway and then we exchanged quick hugs. I had been surprised at how well I'd been able to get along with Bella's friends in the short time that I had known them, especially Jessica. I found her far more tolerable then I'd expected to - maybe it was because she reminded me a bit of Rae.

"How is Bella?" Angela asked as we parted.

"Uh..." I winced. "Maybe you both should come see for yourself."

I led the two of them upstairs and into Bella's bedroom. She didn't even seem to notice their arrival. Her eyes were closed as Alice carefully dusted eyeshadow across her lids but her mouth was in constant motion.

"Alice, is there any particular reason why there is a limousine parked in front of my house?" Her voice was deceivingly calm but there was a tone of strain in it that hinted at an explosion. I had a feeling that was just the latest in a long line of complaints that Alice had been forced to endure in the last few minutes.

"Would you have preferred a pumpkin coach?" Alice said innocently as she put down the eyeshadow palette and reached for an eyeliner pencil. She sighed as Bella's glower refused to soften. "We have to get to the house somehow. It's not a big deal - don't get dramatic on me again."

Bella grumbled something undoubtedly unpleasant under her breath and Jessica made a face. "Isn't this supposed to be the happiest day of her life? Because she seems awfully...cranky." She stage whispered to us - loudly enough for the whole room to hear her.

I had to agree with that, but my natural instinct to defend Bella jumped to the forefront as usual. "She's just nervous - she'll be fine."

Alice turned Bella towards us. "Aren't you going to say hi to Angela and Jessica?"

"Oh, you're both here!" Bella blushed lightly. "I'm sorry, you guys - I'm just...stressed." She smiled weakly and allowed both of them to hug her.

Alice gave an anxious look at her watch and then gestured at Angela and Jessica hurriedly. "Your dresses are hanging over there. Hurry up and get dressed - it's later than I thought and Bella's only half-ready." Her voice held all the world weariness of an overworked general trying to summon a reluctant troop to battle.

Soon, Angela and Jessica were ready. Once they were done, all of us had nothing to do but focus on Bella's preparations. Bella sat rigidly on a chair in nothing but her slip, eyes squeezed tightly shut as we gathered around. Alice combed through her thick dark hair, blow drying it lightly. Whatever she had made Bella put in it worked nothing short of a miracle. Of course, Bella had always had pretty hair but now it shone as gloriously as any shampoo model's, and hung perfectly straight, every curl combed out, gleaming around her shoulders as Alice brushed it out one more time. We watched in awe as Alice's skilled hands worked, and the room was nearly silent except for an occasional request for a curling iron or hairspray. It was almost like watching a world renowned surgeon perform the most delicate of operations.

Nearly an hour of combing, gelling, twisting, and clipping later, Alice turned Bella to face us. "Don't look yet!" She insisted as Bella turned toward the mirror. "First, the _**p**__**ièce de résistance**_... " With that, she reached for the garment bag next to her and unzipped it, pulling out Bella's wedding gown. Bella closed her eyes once again as Alice helped her into it, then gently turned her back towards the mirror. "Alright, Bella...open your eyes!"

Gasps of admiration filled the room as we took in the elegant twist of her hair, her perfectly applied makeup, the perfect porcelain of her skin. At this moment, I could not imagine anyone more beautiful on this planet then Bella Swan. Next to me, Jessica was nearly turning green with jealousy. Even Rosalie's face held a hint of envy. I know mine did as well, but at the same time my heart was filled with happiness at the sight of her. She looked exactly like a bride should look on her wedding day.

Bella herself was staring at her own reflection in the mirror as if she didn't recognize the face staring back. "I don't believe it." She finally whispered. "Alice, you are a miracle worker!"

Alice made a dismissive gesture. "Nonsense, Bella...I just had good material to work with." They beamed at each other for a moment then Alice looked at her watch once more and dismay filled her face. "Shoot! Let's get this show on the road, you guys...we have a wedding to get to!"

**--**

"OK, Charlie, are you ready?" Alice uncovered his eyes as Bella struck a self-conscious pose at the top of the staircase. Alice had dragged a tuxedo clad Charlie to the bottom of the stairs for the first glimpse of his daughter in her wedding dress. For a moment Chief Swan just stared as Bella carefully made her way down the stairs, carefully holding the skirt of her dress up so it wouldn't drag across the ground. As he watched her descend, his eyes widened and then filled with emotion.

"Bells, you look...you're all grown up. You look just like your mother." His voice was hoarse.

"Thanks, Dad." Bella had reached the bottom of the staircase now, and she smiled at her father, lightly touching his lapel. "You look very debonair yourself." She blinked rapidly, then turned towards the rest of us, giving us a nervous look. "Do you guys mind giving us a minute?"

"Oh uh - " Chief Swan's face suddenly mirrored the panicked expression Bella had been wearing for most of the morning. "Actually, I uh - well, I think I left the back door unlocked. Let me go check it and then we'll head on out." With that, he hurried out of the room.

Bella looked indignant at his rapid exit. "Did you see that? He's completely avoiding me! How unfair is that? _I'm_ the one who's supposed to be ducking the emotional father/daughter wedding day talk, not him!"

Alice chuckled, and then sighed. "It's understandable, though." She murmured quietly. "He's putting it off because he knows at some point he's going to have to say goodbye."

"Yes." Angela said suddenly, and I was surprised by the way her eyes slid to Bella. "Goodbye is truly such a difficult thing to say. Especially when -" She stopped speaking. "Well, you all know what I mean." She finished weakly, but I had the strangest feeling that's not what she had meant to say.

For a moment there was silence between the five of us as we waited in the hallway for Chief Swan to return. Then there was a quiet intake of breath. "Somebody's here." Alice said abruptly. Jessica and Angela both looked surprised by her sudden pronouncement and I noticed the perturbed expression on Alice's face as she realized how much she'd let her guard down. "I heard a car pull up." she explained smoothly, her voice so matter of fact that her words were accepted by them without any further question, but I saw Angela's eyes flick to Alice this time with that same inscrutable expression on her face that she'd had moments ago when she looked at Bella.

At that moment we all heard a door slam and the sound of a vehicle speeding off abruptly. Bella hurried past us to the front door and pulled it open. Just over the threshhold, she stopped abruptly. Slightly alarmed now, I hurried past her, dimly aware that the others were following me, anxious to see what had stopped her short like that.

Just past the porch, on the walk, was a man with long, gray streaked black hair pulled back into a pony tail. The stranger had weatherbeaten brown skin, and sharp black eyes that were fixed on Bella with a resigned expression as he looked over her wedding finery. He wore a neat, if somewhat old fashioned brown suit - and sat in a wheelchair. With a sudden gasp that I swallowed back I realized who he was - Billy Black. _Jacob Black's father_.

For a moment, awkward silence reigned as he and Bella surveyed each other. Then he cleared his throat. "Well, look at you, little Isabella."

"Billy." Bella finally managed to speak, but her voice sounded croaky. "This is a surprise."

"Shouldn't be that much of one." Billy crossed his arms, looking mildly insulted. "Did you really think I'd let my best friend's little girl get married without me?"

Bella's eyes were looking alarmingly damp. "And...Jacob?" She whispered after a moment as the rest of us stood there listening. I saw Jessica's eyes widen at that, as she finally realized who our surprise visitor was, and I groaned silently. At least Bella wouldn't be around to hear the gossip that Jessica was sure to spread about this little incident.

Billy cleared his throat again, looking even more uncomfortable now. "He's gone, Bella."

"Gone?" Bella choked out, turning so white that I hurried to her side, worried she was going to pass out on us.

"Been gone for a while. He took off right after he got your wedding invitation."

Oh,_ crap_! Crap, crap, crap...why did he have to go and say that?! I stared with a sinking heart as Bella's face turned from white to purple in a heartbeat. "I didn't send him a wedding invitation!" She gasped out. I closed my eyes at her words, praying that Mr. Black would realize the damage he'd just done and not say anything else. There was still a chance I could take the blame for this one and Edward would never have to be brought into it at all.

My hopes were dashed when Billy spoke again. "Your fiance did. Along with a letter." His voice was flat, but I detected a hint of censure behind the words and it was enough to make me grit my teeth as I silently cursed him. I desperately wanted to push him into traffic at that moment, wheelchair and all.

"Letter?!" I didn't think Bella could turn any more colors, but I was wrong. "What did it say?"

Billy shrugged. "I dunno. Never got the chance to ask him. Like I said, he left. Hasn't been back since. He's OK, from what I'm told, but..." He let his voice trail off.

Bella's mouth opened and closed but no words came out. She looked completely thunderstruck. I exchanged alarmed looks with Angela. Jessica was just staring, open-mouthed, no doubt putting all the pieces of what she considered a very scandalous puzzle together. Alice and Rosalie, meantime, was glaring at Billy Black over my shoulder, probably having thoughts much like mine of what they'd like to do to him at the moment. It would have been nice if he'd looked the least bit shamefaced, but as he took in Bella's expression, a smirk curved his lips. "Aw, you didn't know? Sheesh, that's too bad. Hope I haven't caused any problems between you and your - uh...husband to be." He looked positively delighted at the idea.

"Your concern is touching." Alice hissed and I threw her a warning look. It would be completely bad form if the wedding planner ate one of the guests before the ceremony, even if he totally deserved it.

For someone who knew exactly what Alice and Rosalie were and what they were capable of, Billy Black seemed remarkably unconcerned as he sat there in his wheelchair, ignoring their glares. His smile was positively gleeful now and I hated him at that moment with a white hot fury. Whether he was angry on behalf of his son or not, he was an incredibly insensitive jerk. How could he dump this on Bella on her wedding day??

My infuriated thoughts were interrupted as Charlie came out on the porch and let out a surprised cry as he saw his friend. "I'll be goshdarned...Billy! I didn't think you'd come!" He hurried down the steps and over to his friend, slapping him on the back.

"I wouldn't have missed_ this _for the world." Billy was still grinning and I wanted to kick him so badly that my foot tingled inside my shoe.

"How did you get here?" Charlie looked around as if expecting to see someone with Billy - probably Jacob, I realized, and my heart ached for Bella, despite my earlier annoyance with her.

"Seth Clearwater dropped me off." Billy explained.

"Why didn't he stay?" Charlie looked confused. "He was invited to the wedding too, you know."

Billy looked uncomfortable now. "Yeah, and he wanted to go too, but uh...some people had other ideas." He gave Bella another look that made it clear she should know what he meant by that. I understood instantly too - Sam Uley had forbidden Seth to attend. I was so glad once again that I hadn't gone to La Push when he and Emily asked me - I could only imagine the monster tantrum I'd have thrown if they'd tried to forbid _me_ from attending Bella and Edward's wedding.

"Would have been nice if he'd said hi anyway, at least." Charlie muttered, still looking bewildered.

Billy shrugged. "Seth, uh - knew you had company." His eyes traveled to Alice, and Rosalie now. "Didn't want to interrupt, I guess." He gave Bella another look and his voice was reluctant now as he continued. "He did ask me to tell you and Edward congratulations though." _That was nice. At least one of them was capable of remembering their manners, _I thought to myself bitterly.

"We really should go." Alice was speaking with a clenched jaw as she put a protective arm around Bella's shoulder. "Come on, Bella, get in the limo." I saw with a sinking heart that Bella didn't look like she was about to cry anymore - she looked absolutely furious. Oh _no_...Edward was in for it now. Why did this have to happen today of all days?

Angela looked hesitantly over at Billy. "Would you like to ride in the limousine with us, Mr. Black?" Her voice was polite, but Rosalie threw her a reproving look over her shoulder. Billy Black looked like he'd rather swallow acid then ride in such close proximity to a bunch of vampires, which was just fine with me. I didn't see any other options for getting him to the wedding though, and apparently by the look on his face, neither did he until Charlie spoke up.

"Actually, ladies..." He looked at his watch. "It's a little early yet...I really don't want to be getting underfoot while you're finishing getting ready." He scratched his head. "Why don't you all go on ahead? Billy and I will catch up here and then I'll take him over in my car."

"Works for me!" Alice said brightly. "Come on, let's go, you guys."

As Charlie moved behind Billy to help him maneuver his chair up the slight step to the porch, Alice practically dragged Bella to the car. The limousine driver opened the door, expressionless, and Alice nearly shoved Bella inside and then climbed in after her. The rest of us did the same.

As the door slammed shut, I forced myself to look at Bella's face, waiting for the explosion. We didn't have to wait long. "How dare he! How could Edward do this?!" She burst out as the limo began moving. Jessica and Angela looked shocked. Clearly, they'd never seen her temper so blatantly on display before.

"Bella - " Alice and I began to speak at the same time, but she wasn't listening.

"He promised me! It was all I asked of him, and he promised! Now look what I've done to Jacob - _again_!" She stared at us, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Did you hear Billy? Jacob's been gone for weeks, out who knows where by himself! Because of _me_!" She took a deep breath, seeming unable to go on for a moment.

"Bella, please don't be angry with Edward." I blurted out. "I know it was a stupid thing to do, but he didn't mean for it to turn out like this. He just - " I stopped speaking, instantly realizing my mistake as Bella shot me a burning look.

"You knew about this, Elisa?" Her voice was dangerous and I shrank back into my seat.

"Um...yes?" I cringed slightly. "I'm sorry. I guess I should have said something but Edward - " _Shut up, Elisa! _I snapped at myself angrily, but it was too late.

"Edward told you not to tell me." Bella finished. "That's just_ wonderful_. Who else knew about this?" She sent a glare around the limousine and then her eyes zoomed in on Alice. "Unbelievable. Thanks so much, both of you."

Alice exchanged a guilty look with me and then turned back to Bella, her face apologetic. "Listen, Bella, we are so - "

"No, it's alright." The words were benign but Bella bit them off as if they tasted bad in her mouth. "I'm not mad. I _can't _be mad. It's my wedding day. Everything is just _fine_." She forced the fakest looking smile I'd ever seen on to her face. "This was just a little lapse in judgement is all, a minor bump in the road. I'm over it. Totally over it." I think if her fingernails had been digging any harder into her palms she would have been bleeding.

Alice tried again but the look on Bella's face stopped her short. "I said I'm _fine_! Now can we drop it and just be...happy?" She glared at us all ferociously.

"Well, with a little ray of sunshine like you to guide us, how can our hearts not be filled with joy?" Rosalie said sweetly, looking at Bella's stormy expression. Beside me, Jessica giggled and I had to stare down at my shoes to keep my own face straight, even as bad as I felt for both Bella and Edward.

The next several minutes of the limo ride was silent and tense. Bella stared stonily out the window, her profile cold. Occasionally she muttered under her breath, and the few phrases I caught were not reassuring. _"Can't believe he'd pull something like this...completely surrounded by Judas's...can't trust anyone..." _Every time I shot her an alarmed look though, she'd plaster on that terrifying grin again and mumble about how great everything was.

"I think she's losing it." Jessica whispered loudly to us after about the fifth or sixth time that happened. "She's _so_ going to have a screaming meltdown and leave Edward at the altar." Her eyes sparkled at the thought of being witness to such high drama.

"Jessica, please don't make me push you out of a moving vehicle." I hissed back through clenched teeth. My heart sank further though as I contemplated her words. This was not how this day was supposed to go. It was supposed to be magical - perfect, and now the bride had gone from being an irritable, nervous wreck to a potentially homicidal nervous wreck in a matter of minutes. It was a good thing vampires weren't really stakeable, because if there were Edward would be at serious risk of ending up as a big pile of dust.

Frankly, I was a bit bewildered by the strength of Bella's reaction. I had known all along that she would be upset if she'd found out what Edward had done, but I had never imagined the revelation would be this catastrophic. I snuck another worried peek at her profile and then another emotion surged in me, as hard as I tried to suppress it. Resentment. Really, what was her problem? Didn't she know that she had everything? A fiance who loved her more than life itself, family, friends, a father to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day...

Jealous tears pressed against my eyelids as I thought about it, and I realized belatedly that I was no longer thinking about her anymore. I was thinking about _me_, and everything this day kept reminding me that I'd lost. Even if I ever found someone who loved me a tenth as much as Edward loved Bella, I'd never have what she had. My father would never get to tear up at the sight of me in my wedding dress or walk me down the aisle, and I was so envious of her at that moment that I wanted to rip her hair out every single time she scowled. Stupid, spoiled Bella...she had no idea just how much she had, how much I would have loved to have been in her shoes right now.

Shame immediately followed my petty thoughts and my anger turned inward. How could I have thought such mean things about Bella, even for a second? Had she ever been anything but kind and welcoming to me? Well, except for maybe today, but exceptions had to be made for life altering events and the stress they caused. No, I was the heinous troll in this scenario. I deserved to choke on my own petty bitterness - some friend I was. Some _bridesmaid_ I was, for that matter - catty, unsupportive, bitter, spiteful... I was even worse than Billy Busybody Black, the bomb dropper, because I was supposed to be on her side.

Unconsciously, I sighed, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Rosalie turn to look at me. Just as quickly, she turned to Bella and spoke, her voice accusing. "Now look at what you have accomplished with all your ridiculous sulking. You made Elisa cry!'

"What?" I gasped as everyone turned to look at me. "No, she - " As I spoke, I touched my face. It was damp. Darn it...I_ was _crying. How totally humiliating. "It's not her fault!" I choked as I met Bella's horrified gaze. "It's just that I - I mean...well, I wanted so badly for everything to be perfect and now it's just a mess." I sniffled loudly, embarrassing myself further.

"Elisa, nothing is a mess." Bella's voice was calmer now and everyone turned back to her. "I'm so sorry that I overreacted and upset you. Listen, I owe all of you an apology." She took a deep breath. "I know I've been a brat all morning. I really didn't mean to take my anxiety out on any of you. Especially you, Alice." She turned to Alice and smiled. "You all have done so much for me and I am more grateful than I've let any of you know. I should have said it much sooner than this, and I'm so sorry for that."

There was an immediate chorus of voices as everyone except Rosalie chimed in to assure Bella that none of us had held a grudge at all. She was smiling at us much more whole-heartedly now, but it didn't quite touch her eyes and I had to wonder how upset she really still was. Mentally crossing my fingers, I hoped that it was something that would pass quickly.

As we quieted down again, and the limo turned onto the long drive through the forest that would take us to the house, Rosalie suddenly sat forward. "Bella?" Her voice was oddly hesitant and I saw the surprise in Bella's face as she turned to her. Rosalie hesitated for a fraction of a second and then plunged ahead. "I realize this may not be the best time, but I don't know how many more opportunities you and I will have to speak so I wanted to say something. I wanted to...apologize. Not for what I said a few minutes ago but for these past few months. I made a promise to you that I would not be so horrible to you anymore and I haven't kept it. I know I haven't been very supportive of..." Her eyes traveled warily to Jessica and Angela and she seemed to choose her words very carefully. "...of certain choices that you're making and I can't take back how I feel about them, but if you are truly set on your path then..." She sighed heavily, then shrugged. "Well, I did my best, and I'll just have to make my peace with that. I hope in the future we'll have a chance to really get to know each other, if I haven't put you off of that idea too much. I know I may not be the easier of sisters to have, but I think you'll find eventually that I do have my good points." She smiled now, a girlish, mischievous smile and then extended a flawless white hand. "Truce?"

Bella looked absolutely astounded for a moment, and then the smile she gave Rosalie transformed her face as she extended her own hand and their fingers met. "Truce. Thank you. And I really do look forward to getting to know you too, Rosalie." They looked at each other for a long moment, and then the limousine come to a stop.

--

A few minutes later, we were safely upstairs in Alice's bedroom. Esme had been waiting for us, but we hadn't seen anyone else at all, except for the caterers that were setting up. I knew Alice had threatened Edward with painful dismemberment if he did not stay out of his bride's way until the ceremony, so I assumed he'd found his own safe haven somewhere around the house, and his brothers and Carlisle were most likely keeping him company. I couldn't wait to see how very overjoyed and excited he must be right now, but as a member of the bridal party it seemed rather treasonous to sneak over to their Boys' Town and try to say hi. I'd just have to be patient.

Esme was gushing over Bella now, her face deeply emotional as she surveyed her daughter to be. Alice, in the meantime, was on the phone with the DJ, who'd apparently gotten lost and had somehow ended up on the other side of town. She rolled her eyes as she patiently directed him. Rosalie was leaning against the wall, her face distracted as Jessica dragged Angela to the window to point out arriving guests. For the moment, I just stood there, feeling slightly out of place. This hurry up and wait feeling was unnerving...I just wished it was time for the ceremony to start already.

Alice's face suddenly went blank and she stopped speaking. I saw Bella and the others shoot her a puzzled glance. Then her eyes returned to life again and immediately sought me out. "Elisa, I need you to do something for me. A - " her eyes shifted to Bella and then back again " - _package_ has arrived and it's vital that you don't let it leave. It's in the driveway now - hurry!" The urgency in her voice didn't allow me to question her further, as confused as I was by her instructions. _Must be some kind of surprise for the bride, _I thought to myself as I rushed out of the room, down the staircase, and into the now waning light. Running now, I dashed down the porch steps and across the brilliant green grass, ignoring the startled expressions of a few of the caterers and early arriving guests.

Once at the paved drive, I paused to catch my breath as I looked around, expecting to see a delivery van or someting similiar about to pull away. There wasn't one though - the only vehicles there were the catering truck that had been there since we'd arrived and a crowd of parked cars - it must not have been early as I thought because the guests were arriving in spades. I wondered if I'd missed this mystery arrival already or if I was supposed to wait. Would have been nice if Alice could have given me a few more clues.

As I stood there, wondering what to do now, a couple walked past me, talking in low, stressed tones. I paid little attention to them at first until I realized they were walking away from the house, apparently back to their car. I half-turned towards them, wondering if they'd been misdirected or perhaps one of them had been taken ill, when their voices caught my ear.

"I think you're going to regret this. Baby, we've come all this way. Do you really want to leave?" The man, a blandly handsome specimen that barely looked thirty, was asking the woman as they walked.

"Yes - no - I don't know, Phil! I told her over and over that I didn't approve and I wasn't coming! Bella's probably furious with me by now. I can't just crash her wedding after all those weeks of silent treatment - what could I possibly say to her? Plus I'm not really dressed...no, we don't belong here. Let's just go." As she spoke, she smoothed a self conscious hand over her mildly wrinkled cream colored pantsuit. Clearly, they'd been on the road for a while.

A low gasp parted my lips as I stared at the speaker. She was an attractive brunette with shoulder length hair, probably in her mid to late thirties, with a strikingly familiar face. It had to be Renee! Bella's _mother_ - the one who'd sworn up and down that wild horses (or apparently, angry vampires) wouldn't drag her to Bella's wedding in a million years. Clearly, something had changed. Excitement coursed through me and I hurried forward to block their path.

"Oh my gosh! You must be Mrs. - " I suddenly realized I didn't know Phil's last name and I was pretty sure he wouldn't take kindly to me calling her Mrs. Swan. " - Renee! And Phil!" I finished, a trifle lamely. "We didn't think you were coming! This is so great - Bella's going to be totally thrilled to see you!" As I spoke, I deliberately eased myself between them and then, taking an arm from each of them, linked the three of us together. "Let me take you to her."

Renee looked stunned and a little perturbed as I turned them around and began to march them towards the house. On the other side of me, Phil just seemed very amused. I saw him shoot her a _'looks like we're stuck now' _look over my head and I suppressed my smile. How very right he was. I knew I was being embarrassingly forward but I understood clearly now what Alice had meant, and I would do anything to prevent them leaving, including throwing myself in front of their car if they tried to drive off.

"Well, um, we weren't exactly sure that we - " Renee cut herself off as we walked, seeming to realize that she wasn't getting out of this now. Instead she shot me another confused look. "Who are you?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't introduce myself." I blushed lightly. "I'm Elisa J - Cullen." It was the first time I'd used my new name and the realization brought a small lump to my throat. I looked at the golden bracelet that was always on my wrist now for a few seconds before I continued. "I'm Dr. Cullen's niece." I added, because she was still looking at me oddly.

"Really? _Another_ one?" Renee raised her eyebrows.

I giggled lamely. "Well, we Cullens breed like...I don't know, some kind of animal that spawns a lot." Suddenly, it was hard for me to concentrate on what I was saying. We'd just passed a distant strand of trees at the very edge of the forest and there was something... I twisted my head to look back as a strong feeling of being watched coursed through me.

"Renee! Phil!" I was distracted from my brief lapse into paranoia by Esme's voice. She was coming down the porch towards us now, arms outstretched and a bright welcoming smile on her lovely face. She reached us and I gratefully let go of my captive guests. "I know we've never met, but you met my husband back in Phoenix last year. I'm Esme Cullen." Understanding lit Renee's face and she gracefully accepted Esme's hug.

"I'm so sorry to just show up without RSVP'ing and I know I'm a mess but - " Renee's nervous titter died away as Esme waved a dismissive hand.

"You're here, and that's all that matters. We are absolutely delighted to have you, believe me. Now, I'm sure that you want to see Bella right away, but my daughter Alice has insisted that I bring you to her first. May I?"

"Of course." Renee and Phil looked a bit confounded, but they acquiesced gracefully and began to follow Esme into the house.

"Elisa?" Esme turned back to me. "Aren't you coming?"

I looked away from the trees and forced a calm expression on my face. "I'll be right there. There's um...something I have to do."

Distracted by her new guests, Esme didn't seem to notice the note of apprehension in my voice, and the three of them disappeared into the house. I stayed where I was for a moment, wondering if I'd really just seen what I thought. Something_ massive _had moved in those trees, something that I couldn't quite make out, but after last night, I had more than just suspicions of what - no, _who_ - it was. Jacob Black may have gone off to lick his wounds, and I did mean that literally, but he was back now - with a vengeance.

Annoyance coursed through me. If he wanted to come to Bella's wedding, why couldn't he just walk in openly like every other guest? Why was he being all stealthy, lurking in the woods, first at Bella's house and now here? Was he planning something?

I clenched my jaw angrily. The wedding ceremony was starting in less than an hour now, and if anyone thought they were going to do one more thing to mess it up, well - they were going to have to go through me first. I'd had just about enough of Black family interference, and it looked like it was up to me to prevent any more of it.

I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath, wondering if I was really about to do this. Then I thought of Edward and Bella and my resolve firmed. I owed them, especially Bella. Turning, I stalked towards the woods.

_**Bella:**_

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find_

_You and I collide..._

'Collide', Howie Day_  
_

"What's taking them so long?" I wondered as I paced back and forth across the floor. Elisa had been gone for more than twenty minutes now, and Esme, then Alice, had abruptly departed the room a few minutes after she had. Despite my pointed questioning, Alice had refused to tell me what was in this mystery package she'd sent Elisa after, which only made me more nervous...something it was becoming harder and harder to believe was possible. Looking up, I stared at the clock on Alice's wall. Forty five minutes to go. Resisting the urge to bite my nails, I resumed pacing.

"Bella, you're driving me crazy!" Jessica watched me as I walked. "Why don't you sit down for a minute?"

"I can't." I confessed, my feet retracing my well-trodden path. If I sat down and thought of anything but putting one foot in front of the other, I'd fall apart. Just the thought of walking out there, facing all those people - I was trying to stop being such a brat about it all and keep up a brave front but every tick of the clock was like the tick of a time bomb, counting down to my doom. I was going to fall on my face. No, I was going to throw up in front of everyone, and _then_ fall on my face. And quite possibly follow that with crying and fainting, just to give it that special sense of ultra humiliation.

"Bella, do you want me to get you anything?" Rosalie had been staring out the window, probably at the arriving guests, but now she turned to me. "A drink or something to snack on while you wait?"

My stomach quivered at the thought and I shook my head violently. It would be much better to have an empty stomach for the inevitable public dry-heaving.

Rosalie moved next to me and patted my shoulder, slightly awkwardly. "Just relax, Bella. It's going to be over before you know it." She looked at the door and then back at me. "Esme and Alice should be back any minute. I'm going to greet a few of our guests and making sure that everything is going according to plan. I won't be long. Will you be alright?"

"Sure, Rosalie." I said, but as I spoke Jessica let out a shriek, making us all jump.

She had taken Rosalie's place at the window and now she pointed out it, smiling hugely. "Mike's here!" Hurriedly, she pushed the window open and stuck her head out of it. "Mike! It's Jessica!" Her voice was loud enough that they probably heard her in Port Angeles. Pulling herself back inside, she looked at me. "I'm going to run down and say hi to him real quick - I'll be right back, I promise!" Without waiting for a response, she dashed past us and out the door. Rosalie shook her head and then followed.

"I think Jessica's still feeling very nostalgic these days. She's all about reliving old times." Angela chuckled quietly and then looked my way. "Well, it looks like it's just you and me." Angela looked at me. "How are you doing, Bella? I mean, really?"

"I - " I stopped pacing. "I don't know. I'm just...I'm such a mess." I sighed. "I'm excited, but I'm terrified and I'm worried that I'm going to screw it all up and - "

"And you're upset about Jacob still." Angela finished my sentence.

I sighed. "I know I shouldn't be but you're right...I am." I stared blindly for a moment. All I could see in front of me was the look on Jacob's face the last time I saw him, the day I'd said goodbye. I thought that was the worst that I could ever do to him but to know that he'd had to hold my wedding invitation, read my name linked with Edward's, mocking him, like salt rubbed into a mortal wound. And _Edward_ had done that...

Anger surged in me once more and for a moment I tensed as it washed over me, then I made a concentrated effort to fight it back. "I can't...I can't talk about this anymore." I rubbed my lace covered arms lightly. "Let's change the subject, please."

Angela nodded slowly. For several long moments we stood in silence, then to my surprise she turned and began to pace the floor exactly as I had minutes before. I watched her in confusion. "Everything alright, Angela?"

"Of course." She turned back to me with a smile. "It's just that...well, I was trying to put this off, I suppose, but this is as good of a time as any to say it. I'm going to miss you so much, Bella."

"Oh." I was surprised by the sudden seriousness of her tone. There was something in her face that made a tingle run up my spine, but I ignored the abrupt wariness that was trying to surge within me and searched for a casual tone.

"You're coming back to Forks on school breaks though, right? And I'm sure I'll visit, Angela. New Hampshire isn't exactly on the other side of the world." I hoped she didn't hear the nervousness in my laughter.

"No, it's not." Angela agreed quietly, still staring out the window. "But you're going so much further, aren't you?" She turned now and looked at me for a long moment as I stared at her in confusion, then began pacing again. Her next words were hesitant, careful, as if she was saying something she knew she shouldn't be. "Bella, if I ask you something, will you give me an honest answer?"

I frowned in confusion. "Of course."

"OK then." Angela's eyes were still fixed on mine. "Am I ever going to see you again, Bella? Really?"

Despite the warnings being shrieked in my head, I couldn't keep up the pretense, not while her far too insightful eyes were studying me so closely. Angela deserved better than that. She deserved an honest answer, after sticking with me through everything. "No." I whispered.

Angela nodded, seeming unsurprised, but I saw the sudden sheen in her eyes as she spoke again. "I knew that. I've known it for a long time." She sent me a shaky smile. "I won't pretend that I understand what it means. I won't even pretend that I want to know, because I don't. I just wanted you to realize that you didn't have to be afraid to tell me goodbye. Whatever is going on, it doesn't change anything for me. I've always been your friend, Bella, from the moment I met you. I was your friend even when you didn't realize it, when Edward was the only person you could see, and then when he was gone and you just looked right through me every day like I didn't exist. I never stopped caring about you, not once. And I will never forget you, no matter what. I just wish we'd had more time."

"Me too." My voice was still hushed. "I'm sorry I wasted so much of it."

Angela shook her head, then crossed the room to me then and put her hands on my shoulders. "Are you happy, Bella? Truly? Do you know in your heart that you've made the right choice, whatever that may be?"

I nodded, blinking away more unexpected tears. I couldn't trust my voice to speak at the moment, but I knew she could read the sincerity in my smile.

"Good. Then no 'I'm sorry's.' No regrets. Just be happy, Bella. It's what you deserve." Angela's eyes were brimming with tears, but her smile was bright.

"I am really going to miss you too, Angela. I'm sorry I wasn't as good of a friend to you as you were to me."

The tears spilled over now, and Angela threw her arms around me. Both of us were sniffling loudly as Alice suddenly breezed back into the room, and then paused as she saw our expressions. "I'm sorry to interrupt..." she said, looking at us with mild concern. "What did I miss?"

"Angela and I were just...getting a bit sentimental I suppose." Angela and I exchanged a final look and for a moment, my heart throbbed painfully. I had underestimated her so much, and I had lost so much time. There was no going back now, and she was right - I couldn't live in regrets. Still, it was a lesson learned - never again would I take for granted the people I cared about. Nor would I fall into the dangerous trap of assuming that everyone around us was so oblivious to the secrets we kept... For Angela was close...far closer than any of us had realized, to figuring it out. It was good that we were leaving now, better for her, for all of us.

I wiped my eyes one last time, thankful for waterproof mascara, and decided this was something I would have to ponder later. Adopting a purposefully bland smile, I looked back at Alice. "Are you going to tell me about this mystery package yet?"

Alice grinned. "Patience, Bella, is a virtue. One that you clearly don't possess." Before I could pelt her with more questions she gazed around the room. "We seem to be missing three of our five bridesmaids still. Where did everyone go?"

I shrugged. "Rosalie needed to step out for a few minutes, Elisa never came back, and Jessica went to say hi to Mike Newton."

Alice rolled her eyes at that. Angela turned towards the door. "I'll go bring Jessica back here and see if I can find Elisa while I'm at it. Be right back!" She hurried from the room.

Alice started to say something else but stopped at the look on my face. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I was just wondering..." I shook my head as I thought it over. "When you said five bridesmaids, it reminded me of something. Did you always know that Elisa was coming back?"

Alice thought for a minute. "No, I really didn't. I told you - when she wasn't here, I was completely blind to her. I still don't see her as well as I do the rest of the family, kind of like it was with you in the beginning. But do you remember when she was first here, and Carlisle asked me to try and see how we could get her home? Well, when I looked what I saw was...well, today. Your wedding day. And I saw her _here_ - in a bridesmaid dress. Of course, then she left, and I thought it was just the path she didn't take. I didn't realize it would actually happen."

"Hmm." I thought about that for a moment, and then my face darkened. I turned to Alice, my face accusing. "You. Are. _Evil_."

"What?" Alice stared at me in confusion.

"You knew all along what color the bridesmaids' dresses were going to be, just what they would look like, and you put me through all that torture trying to pick them! I spent days sorting through fabric samples and enduring the strapless versus straps debate and you knew all along exactly what I was going to end up picking! Is it really that hard to say 'go for the dark pink, Bella?' "

"Dusky rose!" Alice corrected indignantly. "And besides, you could have changed your mind. I just thought you should have the choice, that's all." She grinned mischievously.

"You are SO dead!" Before I could reach for the nearest projectile, Alice was across the room.

"One word, Bella: foresight." Alice snickered at my outraged expression.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You know another word I like a lot, Alice? _Revenge_. As in, I have eternity to get it."

Alice laughed, but as she took in my expression there was just a faint hint of worry in it. I grinned. "Yes, Alice...be afraid. Be _very_ afraid."

She laughed more whole-heartedly now, but then as she sobered she gave me another intense look. Whatever she saw in my eyes didn't please her. Her expression became serious and thoughtful and she studied me for a long moment as I became more and more self-conscious. "What? Do I have something in my teeth? Do I look terrible in white? Is my hair falling apart? Is - "

Alice raised an eyebrow until I stopped trying to divert her with my rambling and fell silent. "You're still upset." She frowned deeply. "You need to talk to Edward."

My face fell immediately but I tried to pull it back into complacent lines. "I can't." My voice was flat. "You're the one who went on and on about bad luck. I think we've probably tempted fate enough already - imagine the disasters that could occur if you allow the groom to see his bride before the wedding." I gave a mock shudder, hoping she would let it drop.

Alice let out a deliberately exasperated sigh and then waved something silver in front of my face. "Welcome to the 21st century, Bella. Thanks to modern technology, you and Edward can have a nice heart to heart without breaking a single tradition in the process."

Automatically I reached for the cell phone she was offering me then pulled back without touching it. "This isn't necessary. I'm fine. Everything is fine. I'm completely over it." Guilt reached up to grasp me as I lied...badly. I knew I shouldn't be angry with Edward, especially not now, not when we were about to pledge ourselves to each other for eternity. Not when I knew he probably had some undoubtedly noble, unselfish reason for doing what he did...

At that thought, my fists clenched so tightly that my carefully painted fingernails dug into my palms, and I realized finally what really had me so upset, the fear that I knew exactly what his reasons were...and what a betrayal it was if I was right. As Alice read the now clearly unhidden emotions on my face, her own became more concerned. "That's it - you two are talking this out, right now. You can't get married feeling the way you do." She flipped open the phone.

"I'm not - " I turned away from her. "Alice, just give me some time to calm down. I promise, I'll be fine. I just need a little while to think this through on my own."

"Bella, you don't have a lot of time. The ceremony - " Alice gestured helplessly at the clock.

"The wedding will go on as scheduled." I assured her. "I promise."

Alice started to protest again but suddenly her attention was caught by something and she turned to look at the door, her face suddenly torn between irritation and amusement. "Perfect timing." She murmured, more to herself then me, then looked up and smiled. "Your 'package' is here."

I started to ask what that meant but I could hear Esme's voice clearly now. "You look absolutely wonderful!" She was telling someone. The door opened part way and I could see Esme, her back to me as she spoke to someone in the hallway.

"It fits like a dream too - your daughter is a miracle worker! How could she have known my size or even that I was coming?" The voice of the person I still couldn't see sounded, and I froze in place. It couldn't be -

The door opened the rest of the way and Esme came in, beaming. "Bella, someone is here to see you."

"I - " I couldn't do anything but stammer as I saw who was behind her. "Mom?!"

"Bella!" Renee took a step towards me, then stopped, staring at me. Her eyes took in my hair, my makeup, and traveled downwards to observe every detail of my wedding dress. Automatically, I tensed, waiting for an explosion. Instead, her hands slowly went to cover her mouth, but they didn't hide her eyes, which widened and then brimmed over with tears. "Oh, Bella...you look..." she sniffled loudly. "...you look so beautiful! I can't believe I almost missed this!" Then she whirled in a circle, showing me every bit of the lovely sea-green dress she wore. "Maybe it's not too much of a surprise for you though - clearly, your sister in law thought I was coming. Look at what she had for me!"

"Mom, I can't believe you're here!" Relief finally allowed me to unfreeze and I moved towards her hesitantly. "I thought you - I mean, you said that - "

Renee nodded slowly. "I know what I said, Bella." She took a deep breath and wiped her wet cheeks. For a moment, we just stood and looked at each other. I noticed Esme take Alice's hand and then the two of them quickly departed the room, clearly wanting to give us some privacy.

I didn't know what to say as we waited, each for the other one to speak. I was so happy to see her and at the same time I was afraid one word from my mouth would shatter this perfect illusion and it would be back to disappointment and angry ultimatiums once more.

Mom finally spoke. "Bella, you know that I didn't approve."

I nodded hesitantly after it was clear she was waiting for a response from me.

"And I still think - well, you know what? It doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't, because this is what you want, and I never should have assumed that I knew what was best for you when your whole life you were the one who was setting _me_ the example. I should have respected your choice, even if I didn't understand it. I am so sorry I hurt you." She smiled through her tears. "Deep down, I knew this even before I got your letter, but - " she sighed " - you know me. I'm stubborn. After I read what you wrote though...It was such a beautiful letter, Bella. I never would have imagined my reserved, practical daughter could write like that. I never understood just how deep your feelings ran, but I should have, after what I saw between you both when you came to visit. I'm happy for you both, Bella, truly, I am. I am so glad that you have each other."

The tears that welled in my eyes now were far from unhappy ones as she hugged me tightly. "I really didn't think - I was so sure you wouldn't change your mind." As she released me I looked at her. "It means so much that you came. It wouldn't have been the same without you here."

Mom put her hands on my face and just looked at me for a long moment before she spoke again. "Not even one well-deserved word of reproach. You are always so forgiving. I hope Edward knows just how lucky he is to have you." At her words, guilt once again poked at me. If she only knew the tumult going on inside me now...

Renee was speaking again now and I was relieved to let the unwanted thoughts drop as I returned my attention to her. "About your letter, Bella...Have you ever told Edward all of that?"

"Oh." I was annoyed to find myself blushing, knowing that it gave me away even before I spoke. "Maybe not in so many words, but he knows how I feel, of course. Why else would I be dressed like this?" I grinned at her.

"You should tell him, Bella." Renee was not about to be diverted. "They were such beautiful words. I think he deserves to hear them from you."

I blushed more. "He will. You know, later. We have plenty of time for that."

Renee raised an eyebrow at me, but before she could speak the door opened quietly and Alice and Esme, followed by Rosalie, Angela, and Jessica, filed back into the room.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's getting close now." Esme told us as they came in. "There are a few last minute things to take care of."

Alice walked to my side, and I saw with a frission of dread that the silver cell phone was clamped to her ear. My suspicions were confirmed as she took my arm firmly in her grasp. "Bella, may I have a word?" Without waiting for a response, she half-dragged me to her oversize bathroom and pulled me inside, closing the door behind us. "Edward wants to talk to you." She handed me the cell phone. I gritted my teeth as I held it in my hand for a moment, then I snapped it closed. She groaned. "Bella, please!"

"I can't believe you told him! Didn't I ask you to leave it alone? Didn't I say I just needed a little time?" I put my hands on my hips as I stared her down. Why was she trying to force this on me? I had the right to be angry, and I knew that the minute I heard his golden voice I'd fold like a house of cards, and all my righteous anger would be gone in a snap, only to be replaced with all the other turbulent emotions I knew I couldn't deal with right now.

"We don't have any more time! This is it - this is the day that decides your whole future!" Alice's voice was low-pitched, but intense. "Bella, what is this about, really? Are you honestly that angry with Edward for inviting Jacob to your wedding, or is something else going on?"

I turned away from her so she wouldn't see the glint of tears in my eyes, but of course, Alice wasn't fooled. She moved to my side and took my arm again, forcing me to look at her. "Speak, Bella."

"It's just that...it's easier to be mad, Alice. If I'm not angry, then - " I turned away and began to walk the length of the immense bathroom. "Then I have to remember that I'm terrified and I have to feel...Alice, I just feel so guilty!"

"Guilty?" Alice stared at me. _"Why?"_

"I just feel so... torn! I'm sad about Jacob, and I feel like I owe him that much, at least, but I shouldn't be thinking about someone else, not on my wedding day! It's not fair to Edward...it's not fair to me either." I could feel the tears coming _again _and that was enough to make the irritation in me flare up again. "It's not just that, either. I thought that Edward wanted me to be with him forever, and then he does this! What does it mean? Is he still trying to decide what's best for me, behind my back? And am I going to have to be worrying about that while I stand next to him at the altar?" The tears spilled over now.

"Oh, Bella." Alice's voice was pained as she whipped a hankerchief out of nowhere and began to wipe my eyes before the tears could wreck my make-up. "I'm so sorry. But don't you see? This is exactly why you have to talk to Edward. You won't know what his motives were until you hear it from him. And as for Jacob..."

Before she could finish, there was a gentle tap on the door and Esme's voice sounded beyond it. "Girls, I'm sorry to interrupt again, but no one can seem to find Elisa. Do either one of you know where she went?"

Alice sighed. "We _will_ finish this conversation." She warned me, then turned towards the door, calling through it as she did so. "Esme, I'm sure Elisa's just out chatting up the guests."

I was already opening the door at this point. Alice grimaced at me but I ignored her as I rejoined the waiting group. With a heavy sigh at my stubbornness, she came with me. Esme was looking a little nervous now. "It's getting late and we still have a few things to do." She gave Alice a meaningful look. "Things that I know Elisa wouldn't want to miss, but if she doesn't hurry up..."

"I hope everything's OK." Renee looked back and forth between the rest of us.

Esme's smile was perfect, but the tiny wrinkle of her forehead gave her away as she spoke. "Oh, it's fine. Elisa has just gone off to parts unknown and we're a little pressed for time." She turned to me. "How are you feeling, Bella?"

"I'm better. Much better." I smiled at her, and I was relieved to find that my words were true. I didn't know if it was the fact that my mother had come, despite everything, or the fact that my little rant to Alice had allowed to unleash some of the tension I'd bottled up, but I did feel more relaxed. I was still going to have to work this out with Edward at some point, but at least at the moment I felt like I could walk down the aisle without bursting into tears or throwing my bouquet at him, and that was a definite improvement.

"Good." Esme took my hands in her cold ones. "We didn't have a chance to talk earlier but I just wanted to tell you just how glad I am that this day is finally here. You've been my daughter for a long time but now it's going to be official and I couldn't be happier. I don't think you'll ever know what you've done for us, and for Edward. You've made him whole."

I swallowed hard. "Thank you, Esme." I whispered.

Esme turned to my mother now. "And thank you, Renee, for sharing your daughter. I feel very privileged to have her joining our family."

"Thank you for taking care of her for so long. It's hard to be a mother so far away." Renee's eyes looked misty again. "I feel so much better knowing that not only is she gaining a husband, but she's gaining a wonderful family."

Esme and Renee beamed at each other, but my attention was suddenly caught by Alice's expression. For just a second her face had been blank - I'd apparently caught the tail end of some vision she was having - and when it sprang back to life it immediately transformed into lines of melancholy. Her eyes were far away, contemplative, with just a hint of sadness. Even as I stared, she sighed, and then nodded to herself, as if she'd made some painful decision.

"Alice?"

She turned to me and her eyes swept over me for a moment and then she moved to my side, her face suddenly unreadable.

"What is it?" I demanded in a low whisper. "What did you see?"

Alice smiled at me, and it was warm now, the sadness gone. "I see us giving you a few minutes alone, Bella." Her voice was carefully pitched so that we wouldn't be overheard. "You need some time to think everything through."

"What?" I stared at her.

Her expression was suddenly serious. "Bella, today is _your_ day. It should be on your terms, and no one else's. Maybe I forgot that for a little while, maybe I pushed all this on you too hard, but I want you to know that nothing means more to me than your happiness. So whatever you decide, decide it for you, not for me, not for Edward, or for anyone else. Promise me that."

"What are you talking about?"

Ignoring my question, Alice began to speak loudly. "Of course you need a few minutes to catch your breath, Bella." She said, as if in response to some comment I had made. "." She smiled innocently. "Right, ladies? Come on, let's go downstairs and make sure everything is going well - give our bride some space. Bella, we will be right back."

The others looked a little confused, but following Alice's lead, they began to file out of the room. Alice held back for just a moment. "Bella, if you're not here when we get back, I understand and I'll take care of everything. Don't worry, alright?" She gave my hand a final squeeze and was gone, leaving me staring after her in bewilderment. What was Alice talking about? Why would I not be there when they returned? Shaking my head, I walked across the room, dress rustling busily the whole way, and sat down carefully in front of Alice's dressing table.

It was nice to be alone though, I had to admit. Maybe she was right about me thinking things through. I finally gave me a chance to take a breath and try and put my turbulent emotions in order. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting my mind go blissfully blank. For a few moments I just enjoyed the peace of thinking absolutely nothing, no questions, no expectations...no guilt.

Then, purposefully, I called forward what was arguably causing me the least amount of strife, to start with. Renee and Charlie. I smiled to myself, finally able to fully feel the relief and happiness I'd experienced when I saw her standing there. She had set aside so much of herself to come be with me today and it meant everything. If I hadn't had this chance with her, to leave things on a good note, I knew it would have haunted me.

Charlie, on the other hand, was more difficult to think about. He had been there for me, in more ways than I thought I might ever realize. He may have been reluctant about my plans, but he had never wavered from my side. And he did this because - no, in spite of - the fact that I was his entire life. Despite knowing that his support meant it was just that much easier for me to leave him behind. What would happen to him after I was gone? Who would take care of him, cook his meals, wash his clothes with that sweet smelling fabric softener that he'd never admit he liked, worry about him when he was late and forgot to call... Tears welled in my eyes. At least Renee had Phil but Charlie - who did he have? I knew he'd survived just fine for seventeen years without me without me but it was so different now. Before, we'd been more like politely distant relatives, just enjoying our nice, predictable yearly visits. We'd come so far in the past two years - we'd come to rely on each other. I was going to miss him so much more than I had realized and I knew he felt the same. There was still so much left unsaid... I looked at the clock. No time to say it now, either, but I'd find a way to trap him later. We still had the reception, after all.

That decided, I let it go and moved on to the next tough subject I needed to think through. Jacob. As his face filled my head, pain rippled down through me. My immediate instinct was to duck away from the tide of emotion, close down this line of thinking immediately, but I had been doing that for far too long. I wondered if that was why I'd imagined that he was near my house last night, watching me, when clearly he was nowhere in the vicinity. It was because I wanted to see him, wanted to fix this, and it was never going to happen. I couldn't resolve this with him, but I needed to try and reconcile it in my own heart, the fact that he was hurting again because of me, that he was clearly not moving on, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I had thought I was angry with Edward for causing Jacob more anguish but now that I was forcing myself to think this through, I could see what a smokescreen that was. The person that I blamed was myself...and sadly, I had to admit I blamed Jacob too, as unfair as that was. Why did he have to hold on so hard? What did he think it would accomplish? Why did I have to feel so bad over him on this of all days? This was my day...I didn't want it tainted with grief and guilt over another man. Yet I would just have to accept that burden as the penance that I needed to pay for causing this whole mess in the first place.

It would be so much cleaner, so much easier, if Jacob's magical soul mate, his destined imprint, could just appear out of the blue, banish me to the furthest reaches of his memory and heal his heart in one fell swoop. I'd take the pain that would cause me and embrace it happily, knowing it would be such a tiny price to pay to see him shining like the sun once more. It was so unfair that I got to have my happy ending when there was none in sight for him, when he was left with the burden that I could no longer help him carry. How could I leave him behind, knowing that? And yet - how could I not? Within a matter of weeks, I'd be the embodiment of everything he despised. Our time was over, and there would be no neat ending to tidy everything up and make it alright for both of us. I just had to hope that wherever he was now he knew I'd always carry a piece of him with me.

And that was the best I could do, accept that there was no resolution to be had and put the pain that knowing that caused me in its place, to be carried and dealt with later but not today. I was reclaiming this day for myself and Edward. And now that I had decided that, it led me straight to the last issue I needed to sort through before I walked down the aisle.

As I thought Edward's name, a wave of warmth swept through me and it felt so much better, cleaner, then the hiss of irritation that had clung to my thoughts of him all morning. I felt sorry now that I had ever let first my own anxiety, and then my guilt over Jacob cloud my thoughts. Now that I was putting it behind me, all the other emotions that I'd been suppressing came rushing back. I welcomed them all, the love, the joy, the excitement, even the sudden panic that was spiraling within me and making me dizzy. This is how I was supposed to feel. I was getting _married_. To _Edward_. Nothing else mattered.

A light tap on the door broke into my reverie and I looked up, expecting to see Alice and the others filing back in. Instead, the tap sounded again, and I got up, crossing the room. "Come in!" I called, even as I reached for the door handle.

No sooner had I opened the door the tiniest fraction when whoever was on the other side grabbed it and pulled it shut again. Surprised, I tried to tug it back open but someone was holding it fast. For just the smallest second I felt a hint of fear at the odd behavior, but then the voice sounded and I completely forgot everything else.

"Bella, it's me."

"Edward! What in the world are you doing up here? You're not supposed to see me before - _Oh_." So that's why he was holding the door closed.

"I wanted to talk to you." His voice held a mixture of amusement and something else - worry? "And you know what they say - if Mohammed won't come to the mountain, then - "

" - the mountain will come to Mohammed." I finished, leaning my head against the cool wood of the door with a soft chuckle. "Edward, listen, I shouldn't..."

"No, please, Bella, let me." His voice was still quiet, but there was a tone of urgency in it that silenced me instantly. "Alice told me about what happened this morning with Billy Black. What he told you about Jacob, and how upset you've been ever since. I am so sorry that I acted behind your back. I should have been honest with you from the start. Please believe I never meant to deceive you and I certainly didn't want you to find out like this."

"Edward." I began but he was speaking again, his words tumbling over themselves, and I had to press my ear hard against the door he was still holding closed to be sure I caught them all.

"I didn't want to hurt him either Bella, and I am sorry for that but if I tell you that I regret inviting him I would be lying to you, and I won't do that. I thought that he deserved the choice. It's what I would have wanted if I'd been in his shoes. My mistake was in agreeing with you that we wouldn't invite him at all. I should have told you how I felt, and I've known that for weeks. I suppose I was just afraid - everything was going so well between us and I didn't want to bring a single note of disharmony into these last few weeks. I truly am sorry, Bella, and I wanted you to know that before you walk down the aisle. Do you think you can forgive me?"

I smiled to myself as I stood there. Could I forgive him? I already had, from the second he'd begun speaking. Long before that, if I was being completely honest with myself. But then another thought occurred to me, and my voice was more hesitant then I wanted it to be when I replied. "Of course I forgive you, Edward, but..." I stopped myself just in time. "I will see you downstairs in a few minutes, alright?"

"Wait." His voice was worried again. "What were you going to say, Bella? I'm not moving from this spot until you tell me."

I bit my lip. He was always so damn observant. "It's just that...are you sure that's the only reason you invited him? Honestly?"

His voice was bewildered. "What do you mean?"

I blinked back the unwelcome tears that suddenly pooled in my eyes, glad he couldn't see my expression. "Are you sure that you weren't...I mean that it wasn't..." I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence at first, but knowing he'd stay there for days if he had to, waiting on my reply, I forced the words out. "Were you giving me one last choice, Edward? Was this your way of giving Jacob an opportunity to make his final stand?"

There was an intake of breath, then utter silence. As the seconds ticked by, the regret I felt for being so blunt flared into panic. What had I done now? "Edward?" My voice shook.

"Bella." His voice was not stark or angry like I feared...it held a sudden fierce determination. "We're leaving."

"What?" I wished I had X-ray vision so I could stare through the wood grain and see his expression. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying let's go. Right now. I want to look in your eyes when I tell you how wrong you are, and I want you to believe me. Let's get out of here, go someplace where we can be completely alone, and talk this out." His voice was still intense.

"Edward, we can't! We don't have time! The ceremony is starting in just - "

"Forget the wedding! Bella, you never wanted this. I know you said you did, and I love you for it but I know you're doing this for me, and Alice, your parents, the rest of our family... Forget about all that. The last thing I want is to drag you down the aisle knowing that you are still having doubts about my motives. Let's just go and start our lives together without this silly ceremony hanging over our heads. We'll drive, we'll talk, and then, if you'll still have me, we can go to Vegas or Reno and make it official, just the two of us. I don't care where we go, Bella, as long as I'm with you and as long as we've started our life together with no more hidden insecurities or questions. _Please_."

"Edward." I whispered again. My voice was weak with shock. I didn't need to ask him if he was serious - it was clear by the tone of his voice that he was. And I had to admit to myself that I loved the idea. I could see the two of us, climbing down the trellis to the ground...well, OK, so _he'd_ be climbing down it - _I'd_ be falling after him. But he'd be there to catch me and then we'd sneak past our unsuspecting guests, run to his car, and be off like two overgrown runaways on the biggest adventure of our lives. We could finally be free from all the prying eyes and ears, all the pressure...it would be just the two of us the way I'd longed for. There were so many places I wanted to go with him, so much I wanted to do and say, and I could have that, right now, and all I had to do was say the word...

Still, that nagging sense of responsibility had me speaking the words that would surely bring him back to his senses. "You know we can't just leave, Edward. Everyone is here! We'd be letting so many people down...my mother came, did you know that? She actually came! For me! And Charlie's going to walk me down the aisle...Alice and Elisa worked so hard and wanted this so much...Esme is so happy...how can we do this to them?"

"Everyone who really matters to us will understand, Bella." His voice was more velvety and convincing than ever and my knees went weak as I listened to it. "Alice, Esme, Elisa, your parents...all they really want is for you to be happy. Think about yourself first, just this once, please. This is a day you're going to remember forever, Bella, and I want you to think about_ how _you're going to remember it. Picture yourself walking out into the yard, towards the altar, with everyone turning to look at you, and tell yourself honestly how it makes you feel. When we get married, I want it to be the best memory possible for both of us, and if it's not, if imagining that moment fills you with the least bit of dread, then open this door and take my hand."

Just take his hand... I wanted to, so badly that my fingers twitched in anticipation. And Alice had already given me her permission, hadn't she? That was what she'd been talking about before she left - it was _why_ she'd left, so I could make this decision on my own, for me. Without considering anyone else's desires or wishes and I wanted that, as selfish as I knew it was. Edward was right - this was not a day I should ever remember with any sense of embarrassment or regret. This was not a day I should live for anyone else.

So I did what he asked. I closed my eyes and I pictured myself downstairs, the way I would be in a few minutes if we stayed, taking Charlie's arm, holding my bouquet, listening to the strains of _'Here Comes the Bride'_. In my mind, we stepped out of the gloom on to the carpeted aisle between the seats, and every head whipped around to stare in my direction, pinning me in a hundred tiny spotlights. And I looked into those faces...every single one of them, from the ones I barely knew to the ones that I loved so dearly that I'd give my life for them. And then I looked into the face that mattered the most...

My eyes flew open and I looked down at my hand that was now resting on the doorknob. It was slack now under my fingers - Edward had released his grip on the other side and he was waiting for my next move. It was all up to me now.

It was time to reclaim my day.

To Be Continued...

_In the second half of Wedding Daze, povs from Edward and Elisa. Bella's decision is made and there is another issue that Edward must deal with. Meanwhile, Elisa's conversation with Jacob doesn't go at all like she planned. SNEAK PEEK (SPOILERS!!)_

"You don't know." I whispered, unable to look away from the intensity of his gaze.

"Tell me." His voice was a growl now.

I took a wary step back, afraid now of the ramifications from the Pandora's Box that I had just opened. "I have to g-go." I stuttered. "They're probably looking for me."

There was an impatient snarl and the next thing I knew, his large brown hands had curled around my bare upper arms in a tight grasp and I was being lifted off my feet as his blazing eyes bore into mine.

"Tell. Me." He hissed again, giving me a slight shake for emphasis. For a moment my heart hammered wildy, and I could only gasp, but then my temper flared again, dousing the fear a bit. This felt entirely too familiar, and I'd really had enough of being manhandled by supernatural creatures all in the name of Bella Swan.

_Reviews are always very much appreciated!_


	8. Wedding Daze Part Two

**Welcome to the second half of chapter eight, Wedding Daze! I'm sorry this half is later than I said it would be, but it's another long one, and I hope it was worth the wait. The good news is although it was hard to write, it was still much easier to get down than the last two chapters...dare I hope that the streak of writer's block is finally over? :D**

**Oh, and by the way, I'm hoping I can ask for a favor from any Canadians that may be out there. As you might remember if you've been following the story, the Cullens are headed to Canada. I would really love to be able to pick someone's brain who can give me insight into our northern neighbors and what it's like to be Canadian. If you're from Canada, or perhaps just visit a lot and would be willing to exchange a few Q and A emails with me in the interest of keeping my story accurate, could you let me know? Thanks! **

**And thanks again for your patience and as always, your reviews have meant the world to me. Please continue to let me know what you think! **

**And now...on with the story.**

_**Elisa:**_

_Life goes on  
Here and beyond that horizon  
It goes on and it changes  
And it changes you too..._

Life Goes On, Elisa

It wasn't until I was deep in the treeline and the house was completely out of sight that it dawned on me that this was probably not the best idea I'd ever had. It was quite easy to plan on confronting Jacob Black when I was safely within screaming distance of my adopted family of protective vampires. Now that I was alone in the darkened woods, the thought of confronting an angry werewolf and trying to banish him with a few scornful words was starting to seem not only stupid, but downright dangerous. Let's face it...he could probably pick me up, whirl me around his head, and throw me like a Frisbee, and that was just in his human form. If I annoyed him enough - and sadly, I had to admit that I was very good at being annoying - he could morph into a giant dog and maul me to death before I had time to blink. Oh, I was sure he'd regret it later, but that still wouldn't stop me from becoming Kibbles 'n' Bits.

And besides, why had I just assumed that the hulking, massive shape I had seen was him anyway? What if it wasn't? What if it was something - worse? And here I had just blundered right into its path - I might as well have been wearing a sign that read _Edible Human - Free Sample! _I was _such_ a moron.

With these thoughts swirling around my head, one would think that the sensible thing to do would have been to turn right back around and hightail it towards the house and safety. Then again, I was never really known for doing the sensible thing, and I also happened to be cursed with a potentially fatal case of stubbornness. I had come here for Bella, and I couldn't just turn around and run away without at least trying to make sure that nothing else would blight her wedding day.

"Jacob?" My voice did not ring out with the confident, _don't-mess-with-me _tone that I was going for...it was more of a shaky _please-don't-hurt-me _whisper. I waited a moment, turning in a slow circle but seeing nothing but the untouched beauty of the forest all around me. Maybe I had just imagined what I'd seen. Or maybe he had taken off when he saw me coming. Either way, I had tried. It was time for me to turn around, go back home, and forget that I had ever thought I'd seen Jacob at all.

"Jacob Black?" Ugh, why was I _still_ calling him?

There was no response. Good. Time to go. Easily accepting defeat, I turned around - and smacked into something hard. And _warm_. Gasping, I jumped back a good foot, and then stilled, staring at the sight before me.

Jacob Black was nothing like I'd imagined and yet somehow shockingly familiar to me at the same time. First of all, he was so much bigger than I'd ever been able to picture. Hearing secondhand that someone was immensely tall and muscular was not at all the same thing as seeing it with your own eyes. I had to crane my neck even further up then I normally did to look at him. His arms were round and hard, nearly bulging out of the short sleeved t-shirt he wore, which was clinging to his chest so tightly that there was no mistaking the muscles there either.

I managed to stop staring at his chest long enough for my eyes to make my way to his face, and I had to admit, the sight of it was striking. I couldn't believe it, but I had to admit Jacob Black was entirely hot in more than one way. I could feel myself blushing as I looked at him and that irritated me. Darn Bella anyway - didn't she know any short, ugly guys?

After I was a bit over my shock at his sudden appearance, my eyes were able to take in more details besides his disconcerting male beauty. Bella had been right to worry - clearly, Jacob had been away from civilization for quite a while. I could see now that that his simple jeans and t-shirt were both stained with dirt and grime, as if he'd worn them for a long, long time, although he himself was clean, as if he'd bathed but then had been forced to put on filthy clothing for lack of other options. Looking down, I saw his feet were bare, and they were caked with dirt as well. His hair also drew my attention. I dimly remembered it being described as long and beautiful, but now it was ear length, if that, and the ends were jagged, as if a child had gleefully hacked at it with scissors.

After a moment of mutual staring, the huge specimen before me cleared his throat and I blinked, looking at his unfriendly dark eyes. "Why were you calling me?" His voice was much deeper than I thought it would be.

"Um...I uh...you're Jacob Black?" Could I have thought of a dumber thing to say?

He raised an eyebrow. "Obviously." He looked me over for a long moment, his face expressionless. "Are you Elisa?"

For a moment, I was extremely surprised that he knew me, until I remembered the whole freaky werewolf mind-meld thing. "Oh...you must have gotten that from Sam. Yes, I'm Elisa."

"Hmmm." He stared at me for a longer moment, then spoke again. "What do you want?" His voice was harsh now.

Despite myself, I bristled at his tone. He was the one lurking around like a big freak and he was talking down to _me_? "I came here to ask you the same thing." I snapped. "Being that you're the one who's skulking around the woods and all."

His face darkened, if that was even possible, and he folded his massive arms across his chest. "Sam asked me to deliver a message. To _you_."

"Me?" I gazed at him with wide eyes. That was not what I had expected him to say at all. "What message?"

Jacob shrugged. "He just said to tell you that this is your last chance."

"Oh." I thought about that for a moment. He didn't have to explain to me what it meant. Sam was telling me this was my last opportunity to ditch the Cullens and accept their offer of sanctuary at La Push. Like that was ever going to happen. No one there really wanted me anyway - they just wanted to get another human away from the vampires. Once they did that, what would they do with me? I couldn't imagine another 'leech lover' being too popular on the reservation - they'd probably dump me off on a roadside somewhere the first time I irritated one of them. I frowned, thinking about it. Being alone and friendless was not really an option I wanted to seriously contemplate.

"Well?" Jacob's voice was impatient now, and I realized he was waiting for a response.

I sighed. "Tell him thanks but no thanks."

"_No thanks_?" Jacob repeated, his tone disbelieving. "That's all you have to say?"

"Well, I thought _'hell no' _sounded rude." My temper was rising again at the barely disguised disgust in his voice.

He glared at me for a moment. "It's your funeral."

"Whatever." I glared right back. "Is that all?"

Jacob shrugged now, his arms still folded across his chest. "That's all he asked me to pass on."

"OK. Message delivered." I waited. "So...goodbye then."

"Goodbye." He looked down at me and then jerked his head towards the house. "You can run along now."

I glowered at his patronizing tone as he continued to stand there. "You leave first. In case you haven't noticed,_ your _presence is no longer required. _Go away_."

He didn't move and for a moment we were locked in a heated staring match. Finally, apparently realizing I wasn't going to back down, he clenched his teeth for a moment then spoke. "I have other business here today."

I groaned. "I knew it. You're here for _Bella_."

A glimmer of surprise broke though his stony demeanor. "How did you know - never mind." His mouth tightened. "It's none of your business, blondie. Why don't you go fix your hair or something?"

"Why don't _you_ go find someone else to stalk, dog boy?" I fired back. I knew my mouth was running away with me again, but I couldn't seem to help it. "Like, I don't know, let's say...someone who is _not_ getting married today?"

He flinched at my words, and I could plainly see the pain in his face before he wiped it away. For a moment, I actually felt bad but I forced myself to dismiss the emotion as just another sign of my internal weakness. I couldn't afford to feel sorry for him - besides, this was all his fault anyway. It was beyond pathetic, the way he just couldn't seem to figure out when he wasn't wanted. I didn't know how Bella could stand all this sneaking and lurking that she seemed to inspire. She was far more tolerant than I was - I would have invested in pepper spray by this point. And a restraining order.

"I don't need advice from a little bloodsucker groupie like you." Jacob was clearly angry now. "I'm going to talk to Bella." He pushed past me and started towards the house.

"Oh, I don't think so!" This was exactly what I was afraid of. I ran around him, trying to block his way but he didn't stop so I was forced to trot backwards trying to keep in front of him. "Nobody is going to let you within a mile of her, so give it up!"

"Really?" Jacob stopped now and looked down at me with a bitter smirk. "See, I kinda got the impression I was expected to be here today, considering the fact that Edward - " the name was said with revulsion " - sent me an invitation."

"Yeah, well, like most males, Edward's kind of stupid." I snapped back. "Bella didn't want you to be invited and she doesn't want to talk to you, so get lost!"

At my words, that flicker of pain appeared on his face again, and I couldn't deny it now, the stab of guilt I felt at causing it. Plus I was lying through my teeth. Bella hadn't said as much, not to me anyway, but I was certain if she knew Jacob was here she'd move heaven and earth to speak to him. It's just that I was absolutely positive she would not like what he had to say, and as a loyal bridesmaid, wasn't it partly my job to protect her from that? Did she really need more guilt piled on her head on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life?

"She doesn't - " Jacob's voice was dull with hurt for a moment, but then his eyes narrowed and he gave me a blistering look. "You're lying."

"I..um..." With a heavy sigh, I gave up. "Look, Jacob, I know Bella's been worried about you, and I'm sure she'd be thrilled to see that you're alright. The thing is, you don't _look_ alright. At all. And I'm pretty sure that whatever you have to say she doesn't need to hear so please, make it easier on both of you and just go."

I watched Jacob's adam's apple bob in his throat as he swallowed hard, his eyes closed for a moment, and then he opened them and looked at me. His gaze was somehow...contemplative now, and I realized why as soon as he opened his mouth. Like me, he was switching tactics.

"You could help me, Elisa. You could get Bella, bring her here and let me talk to her without anyone knowing. I just need five minutes with her, that's all, and if she still wants me to go after that, I'll leave without a problem. Can you do that for me? Please?" He smiled at me now, and I had to admit he was quite charming when he chose to be.

I gave him a disbelieving look. "Why would I do that?"

His false smile faded. "Do you know what she's planning, Elisa? Do you know what that _thing_ she's marrying is going to do to her? I have to try, just one more time. _Please _help me. Not for my sake...for hers_._" How ironic that these were nearly the same words Edward had spoken to me weeks earlier. I was sure Jacob would never believe that, however. It was so much easier for him to see Edward as a monster.

There had been a thick layer of despair in Jacob's voice however, and I was annoyed to feel another surge of sympathy for him, even as it warred with the anger that his words had created within me. Still, the sympathy kept my voice from being as sharp as it normally would have been as I answered him. "There's nothing you can do about it. She's made her decision. Go home, Jacob."

Jacob turned away from me for a moment, grinding his teeth together, and then turned back to me, sudden fury in his face, making me flinch back. "What the hell is wrong with both of you? What is it about the Cullens that makes stupid teenage girls line up to join their creepy little cult? When Sam told us that you wanted to stay human, I thought maybe you had a little sense, but I guess not. Think being a parasite is cool, do you? Is that why you won't help me?"

I stared at him, outraged by his sheer nerve. "And what am I supposed to help you do? Crash Bella's wedding and make her feel terrible all over again? What could you possibly say to her that you haven't already said? That would make the least amount of difference? She'll turn you away, Jacob, and I think you already know that. All you are going to do is tear her apart. There will be nothing but more pain and regret for you both, and if you think I would help you do that Bella on her wedding day, you're crazy."

Jacob eyed me, clearly incensed. "OK, I don't know who the hell you think you are or why you're so sure you know so much about me and Bella, but I suggest that you shut up about things that you can't possibly understand. This goes way, way beyond trying to win her back. It's even completely beyond the fact that I'm in love with her. I can't let her die. I don't want to hurt Bella, but I can't stand back and do nothing. I tried that already. Come on...you're a human - act like it! Can you try, for one second, to comprehend the fact that I am trying to save her life?"

"You really believe that?" I looked at him, my tone thick with disbelief. "That if you get your way, you'll be saving her? Don't you understand what you'd really be doing?" My voice was quieter now as I looked at the emotion on Jacob's face. It was hard to dismiss his earnest pleas so easily when he was standing right in front of me and I could see how much he meant what he was saying. "You'd be taking her away from everything she's chosen. You'd take her away from the person she can't live without. And you'd condemn her."

For a moment, his whole body shook, and I took a cautious step back, but with what seemed to be tremendous effort, he stilled again. Still, his eyes were livid as he looked at me. "Living a normal, mortal life is not condemning her!"

"She won't have that if you get your way, Jacob! They'll come after her - they'll kill her!" I snapped back.

Instantly, I regretted my words as his face froze into a shocked mask. With one quick motion he was just inches away from me, leaning down to stare into my face. "What are you talking about?" He hissed through gritted teeth.

"You don't know." I whispered, unable to look away from the intensity of his gaze.

"Tell me." His voice was a growl now.

I took a wary step back, afraid now of the ramifications from the Pandora's Box that I had just opened. "I have to g-go." I stuttered. "They're probably looking for me."

There was an impatient snarl and the next thing I knew, his large brown hands had curled around my bare upper arms in a tight grasp and I was being lifted off my feet as his blazing eyes bore into mine.

"Tell. Me." He hissed again, giving me a slight shake for emphasis. For a moment my heart hammered wildly, and I could only gasp, but then my temper flared again, dousing the fear a bit. This felt entirely too familiar, and I'd really had enough of being manhandled by supernatural creatures all in the name of Bella Swan.

"Put me down. _Now. _" My voice was low but furious. "Or I'm going to scream and when the Cullens find you in here with me, _hurting_ me, I'm not going to say a word to stop them from killing you." I glared at him as fiercely as I was able in my vulnerable position. I was bluffing, of course - I'd rather stick needles in my eyes then disrupt Bella and Edward's wedding day by provoking a werewolf/vampire smackdown, but Jacob didn't need to know that.

For a moment he just glowered back, but then a bit of calm crap back into his features, although his eyes still blazed. Carefully, he set me back on my feet, but although his hard grip on my arms slackened, he did not release me. "You're not going anywhere until you explain what you just said." His flat tone didn't disguise the note of menace.

"Oh come on, how could you not have figured it out!" I burst out, knowing I should stop speaking, that this wasn't my secret to tell, but completely unable to quit while I was ahead. "The Volturi, idiot! How do you think they feel about humans who learn their secrets? Bella was only allowed to leave Italy alive because Alice and Edward promised to make her a vampire, don't you get it? So go ahead and dream about her dumping Edward at the altar and running off with you. There would still be no happily ever after, just a clock ticking down the little time she has left until they find her. But as long as she doesn't become a bloodsucker, I guess that's OK, right? At least she'll die _human_."

As soon as I said that, I knew I had gone too far.

"No." His face was gray now and his hands were clenched into fists. He stumbled backwards a step, shaking his head. "No! I would never let them lay a finger on her! We'll fight them with everything we have!"

"And you'd lose." The anger drained out of my voice now as I struggled to make him understand. "They're not like regular vampires, Jacob. They can do things that none of us can imagine. They'd wipe out your whole pack without breaking a sweat and kill Bella anyway. She knows that - why do you think she never told you? How can you force her to be responsible for what would happen to all of you if you tried to fight them? You can't stop the Volturi... You can't hide from them. No one can."

Finally he let go of my arms. I rubbed them for a minute, hoping he hadn't bruised me. I didn't know how I would explain that, and Emmett, at least, would be sure to overreact.

"Are you telling me the truth?" He stared at me now, but I had a strong feeling it wasn't me he was seeing any more. "Did that really happen? Will they really kill her if she stays human?" His voice was choked, desperate.

I just nodded, transfixed as I watched the color wash out of his warm skin and his eyes go stark.

"So that's it then. There's no - nothing - I can't save - " I could see the truth hitting him, almost like a physical entity, a train smashing into him, breaking him into pieces. He'd run so far to avoid this, but it had never been far enough. He must have known it would catch him eventually, but still, it was terrible to watch. Agony filled his eyes and I flinched. His face held so much pain that involuntarily I started to reach out to him but he was stumbling away, moving like a blind man desperately in search of a light he'd only ever seen in his dreams.

Not sure what else to do, I followed, but he only went a few paces before he fell to his knees.

"Jacob!" Alarmed now, I watched him lean forward. Convulsions shuddered his torso, and suddenly he heaved over and over again. I stood there, feeling useless, helpless, until the spasms stopped wracking his body. But when the retching finally stopped, a new sound - a much worse sound - began to tear out of him.

Each sob pierced me like a knife. "Bella..." I heard him moan under his breath. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was intruding, knowing that if he was able to control himself at all he'd never let anyone see this most private of agony. Maybe it would have been kinder for me to turn and walk away. Yet, seeing him so broken there before me, I couldn't stand to leave him. Only moments ago I hadn't spared a thought for his pain, and now the guilt I felt for contributing to it was almost crushing.

Unable to stand it anymore, I eased myself next to him. Gingerly, I lowered myself to my knees, with a grimace for my dress. I knew it was shallow to worry about getting it dirty right now, but then again if I tried to stand next to Bella in a filthy bridesmaid's gown Alice would probably kill me so maybe it was just my sense of self-preservation finally kicking in.

"Jacob." I said again as his choked breaths regained my attention. "I'm so sorry." Hesitantly, I put a hand on his shoulder.

He didn't look up, but he was quieter now. "There's nothing I can do." His voice was hollow. "If I even try, I'll just be killing her another way. She's going to die and I can't lift a finger to stop it. "

"You can't think of it that way." I whispered back, not sure if he was even listening. "He'll make her strong. No one will ever be able to hurt her again. She'll be safe and loved and happy. Isn't there some part of you that wants that for her?"

"How could I have let this happen?" His words seemed to be directed at himself now. "Why couldn't I have been more for her? Why couldn't I have been enough to stop her from going to Italy in the first place? "

I was quiet, knowing the question was rhetorical and not meant for me. I listened to the ragged sound of his breathing next to me and the quiet flow of a nearby stream. Distantly, I could hear voices and laughter coming from the house - from the sounds of the clamor, most of the guests had arrived. I was running dangerously late. I knew I should go back, and yet I couldn't seem to move from his side.

I could only take the silence so long. After a moment, I stood up, looking at his face. Dark circles ringed his eyes, and his cheeks were sunken. Despite his muscular frame, I could see now that he must have lost a lot of weight recently. How long had he been out there, alone? What had he been putting himself through all this time?

I sighed heavily. "Give me your arm."

"What?" His voice was dull. It seemed hard for him to focus on me.

"Your arm." I said patiently, and reached for it. Finally comprehending, he held it out to me, not seeming to care what I wanted it for. I reached for the sleeve of his t-shirt, grasping it firmly around the seams, and ripped until the fabric tore off in my hand. This finally seemed to break through his apathy, and he stared at me in shock. "What the hell are you doing to my shirt?"

I shrugged. "Sorry, but you just would have had to throw it out anyway. There's not enough bleach in the world to make that rag white again." I looked around for the source of the water I'd heard rushing near by, and located it, several feet from where we stood. A small stream broke through the wilderness and ran until it was out of my sight, probably feeding into the nearby river. I went to it, and knelt down, dipping the torn cloth into it and rinsing it out several times.

Jacob seemed to understand what I was doing now, and he followed me to the water's edge, kneeling down as well, cupping water into his hands and using it to rinse out his mouth. I waited until he was done, and then went to him, using the cool rag to wash the mixture of tears and sweat off of his face. For a moment, he was rigid as I attended to him, and then he tried to pull away, looking suddenly self-conscious. "I can do that." He muttered, trying to reach for the cloth.

I jerked it away from him and gave him a stern look. "Oh yeah, because I can see what a stellar job you've done taking care of yourself so far. Now hold still." I finished my task quickly, tossing the rag away and then lightly fingering the jagged ends of his hair. "Why does your hair look like this? What did you do, hack it off with a knife?"

He tensed for a moment, looking torn between resentment and self-consciousness, then to my surprise he smiled slightly. "Yeah. It was...annoying me."

I was sure that wasn't the real reason he'd taken a knife to his beautiful mane, but I let it go. "It would kill Bella to see you like this, you know." I murmured, and then winced internally. Talk about having a dire case of foot in mouth disease. Why did I have to go and bring her up again?

"Right. As if she cares." His voice dripped bitterness now, and I looked at him in shock.

"Of course she cares, Jacob! You have no idea how much she's been hurting over you. She was totally devastated when she found out that you left."

"Sure, she was." His voice still held that sour tone as his mouth twisted into a sneer. "It was probably a relief to her, to have me out of the way, not drooling over her anymore or holding her back. You were right the first time, when you said she didn't want to see me or talk to me. If I just disappeared forever, it would be so much easier on her."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" I gaped at him in horror. "Jacob, she loves you. I know I shouldn't be saying that to you, but it's true. It was never that you weren't enough for her. That's not why she chose Edward. It's because...they were meant to be. Edward and Bella...they are like two sides of the same coin. Inseparable...useless and incomplete without each other. There was absolutely nothing that you could have done differently to change that."

Jacob stared at me. "It's hard for me to believe Bella told you all that...she never seemed one for girl talk. You act so familiar with me, like you've been here all along, watching. I don't get it. How could you possibly know all of this?"

I shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "It's hard to explain. Just believe me when I say I have grossly unfair advantages."

"Huh." He seemed to ponder that statement for a moment, then dismiss it as an invisible shutter snapped closed within his eyes again, darkening them once more. "Doesn't matter, I guess. You're wrong anyway. Bella is happier without me. She'll forget me soon enough."

"Wow." I looked at him, starting to lose patience again. "Do you think it's possible for you to feel any sorrier for yourself?"

Jacob glared at me now. "As if somene like _you_ could ever understand, even if you think you know everything." His voice was biting. I sat there for a moment, registering his words, and then anger surged within me, instantly washing the empathy I'd begun to feel for him away.

I jumped to my feet and turned to give him my iciest look. "Oh, you're so right, Jacob! What could I possibly know about what it's like to lose someone? How could I ever comprehend the depth of your pain?" My voice was rich with sarcasm. "I mean, I only lost _my whole family_. I lost my entire life. Is that enough for you to let me into your _'poor me' _pity club? Or do you still think you're the only one who knows what it's like to grieve? You are such a jerk! I can't believe I actually felt bad for you. You know what - go ahead and whine the rest of your life away if that's what you want. I'm out of here."

I turned and stalked off but to my surprise, he was right there, following close behind. "Elisa, wait a minute. I'm sorry, OK?"

"Go choke on a doggie biscuit." I snapped back as I kept walking.

"Elisa, come on. Would you please stop?" His voice was torn between amusement and exasperation - a nice change from the mournful whine it had been just moments before.

"Why should I?" I bit off the words.

"Because you're going the wrong way, for one thing." His voice was definitely amused now. I stopped, looking at the vast expanse of woods in front of me. Darn it, he was right. Trying to maintain what little dignity I had left, I turned and began to stomp off in the other direction.

Beside me, Jacob began to laugh and I paused, gritting my teeth. "Do you mind?"

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. For a minute there, the look on your face - you reminded me of Bella." His face suddenly sobered. "You even smell a little like her."

"Great." I started forward again. "Just what I wanted to hear. Hey, maybe if you close your eyes and pretend I'm her, you can actually make your apology sound sincere."

"Elisa." He was standing directly in my way now, forcing me to stop. "Please, just give me a minute. Look, you're right. I forgot all about your family, and I shot off my mouth without thinking. I shouldn't have said that to you. I am really am sorry, not just about that, but about what you've been through. This must be a tough time for you."

I really wanted to stay mad, but the sincerity in his voice was clear. I sighed as all the anger went out of me. "I'm sorry too, Jacob. For - " I didn't know how to say what I meant. For seeing him as nothing but a name on a page, someone whose only point for existing was to be an obstacle between Bella and Edward? For not realizing or caring that he was a living, breathing person who bled and ached and deserved to be happy just like the rest of us? "-for being insensitive." I finished, knowing I could never say what I really meant. "I guess I didn't think about how much you were hurting until I actually met you. I honestly didn't mean to make it worse."

He was silent for a moment. I looked up at the sky, wondering how much time had passed. I knew I needed to turn around and go back but once again, my traitorous feet took me only to a nearby fallen tree. I sat down and looked up at him, surveying his closed expression, the pain in his dark eyes not quite hidden. After a moment, he came and sat down next to me.

"What are you going to do?" I asked after a moment.

He picked at a loose thread on his jeans for a minute before he spoke. "I don't know. I came here so sure I was doing the right thing, and now I don't even know what that is. Everything is upside down. I don't know what I can do for Bella now." His voice was strained - I could only imagine how painful it was for him to even say her name.

"You could - " I bit my tongue before I finished the sentence. "Never mind."

"No, what were you going to say?" He looked at me.

I shook my head. "You shouldn't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to."

"But I do want to know." He insisted. "If there's something, anything I can do for her, I need to know what it is."

"Fine." I straightened my shoulders and turned to him. "There is one thing left you could do for her, Jacob, something that would make all of this so much better for her. You could let her go."

Jacob looked stunned for a moment before he turned away. "You want me to make this easier on her." His voice was gruff. "You want me to go to her, and tell her it's OK, that I'm going to be alright, that I'm not dying a little more each second knowing that I'm never going to see her again, knowing what she's going to become. You actually expect me to look her in the eye and say that to her."

I looked at him steadily. "Yes. For her sake, because you are the only thing that is holding her back now. If you love her enough, tell her goodbye and make her believe it. Let her walk away without regrets."

Jacob stared straight ahead for a few minutes, and I wondered what he was seeing. Then finally he cleared his throat. "I...I don't know how to do this, Elisa, any of this. I don't know how to go on without her. I don't know how to tell her I can. I need your help."

"What do you want me to do?" My own voice was a near whisper as I watched his eyes become hollow, ancient.

His voice was a hoarse plea as those far too old eyes met mine. "Teach me how to lie."

I caught my breath, not trusting myself to speak for a moment. Then, instinctively, I reached for his hand. He gave it to me easily and I didn't question why I didn't feel more self-conscious at my own forwardness. Our fingers laced together, and then he gripped me so tightly that if I hadn't been so focused on him I would have gasped in pain. Instead, I closed my own fingers around his and squeezed back as tightly as I could. We sat there in silence as the minutes ticked by and the clouds overcame the last bit of sunlight overhead.

"Do you want to know the secret to a good lie, Jacob?" I finally asked him. He looked up and waited. "The secret is, you have to make yourself believe what you're saying, if only long enough to get the words out. She knows you better than anyone. It will take everything you have to pull this off. Can you do that?"

Jacob was looking down now at our entwined hands. "I want to say yes. I want to do that for her. But I don't know if I can be that strong. How can I make her believe I can live a whole lifetime without her when I don't know how I can get through the next minute? How do you look someone in the face and smile, tell them you're OK when you're barely holding on?"

I was looking at our hands now too, examining how his rich brown skin contrasted with my own pale tone, how perfectly smooth and unblemished it was, how perfect the crescent shape of his fingernails were, not a speck of dirt beneath them despite the muck that clung to his clothes and feet. Then finally, I looked back up at him. "Maybe I'll just have to believe it for you, Jacob. Because I do, you know. I know it may be hard to imagine now, but Bella isn't your whole world. You'll wake up one day and you'll realize that life has gone on; that you really have let her go."

"What if I can't? What if I don't want to?"

I sighed. "Then it's just a waste, isn't it? To spend the rest of your life mourning Bella when you could actually be living it. Do you really think she's the only girl in this world that you could possibly love? That there is no one else out there for you? Seriously, that's just _sad_. I mean, look at you!"

He gazed at me in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

I snorted. "I mean - and believe me it's killing me to admit this - but you're kind of amazing. I guess it was stupid of me not to realize there was a reason why Bella had such a hard time letting you go." I smiled tentatively at him, determined not to blush. After all, I wasn't speaking anything but the truth - I shouldn't have to feel embarrassed about it. "You're the type of guy that generally only exists in a girl's dream. First of all, you're gorgeous. But it's more than that. Who wouldn't want someone who's not afraid to love her with everything he has, or fight for her, or even cry for her...do you know how extremely rare that it? I have to confess, in a different world I could totally be crushing on you right now."

Jacob laughed, and I noted with amusement that he was actually blushing a bit himself, his brown skin turning copper colored. "Um...well...thanks." He mumbled, looking down. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he looked back at me, his face suddenly curious. "Why in a different world?"

"I would have thought you could figure that out." I looked back at him, but he still looked puzzled. I sighed and then spoke again. "Because, Jacob, it gets awfully cold in Bella's shadow."

"Oh." He looked uncomfortable again. "I'm sorry about that. But you know, you're really a - "

"Jacob." I interrupted, giving him a hard look. "If you try to tell me that I'm a great girl and someday I'll find a guy who appreciates me, I swear I'll kill you."

He laughed again. "Sorry. Hey, isn't that pretty much what you just finished telling me though?"

I giggled. "I guess so. It's true though. Someday you'll find her, and when you do, you're going to light up her universe."

"Sure, sure." He was looking away from me now, his voice flat, and I heard in it what he didn't want to say, that he couldn't believe that he would ever love again. That maybe that he didn't even want to.

"What about you?" Jacob said suddenly. He looked at me and I was surprised to see a hint of alarm in his eyes. "You're in danger too."

"Huh?" I knew this sudden change of topic was nothing more than a diversionary tactic but I couldn't help but rise to the bait anyway. "What are you talking about?"

"You're in the exact same boat as Bella. If these Volturi would kill Bella for knowing about vampires and not being one of them, they'd kill you too. So does that mean - " he gave me a hard stare. "Sam was wrong. Or you lied to him. You're going to become a vampire too." His voice was accusing.

"No, I'm not!" I snapped back. "It's not the same for me as it is for Bella. The Volturi don't know I exist, and the Cullens aren't exactly going to run off to Italy and tell them about me. So I just have to lay low, is all. Bella doesn't have that option."

He winced again but his eyes stayed focused on me. "Lay low? A blind man could see the holes in that plan. That's taking a big risk, don't you think?"

I shrugged. There was really no other answer that I could give him.

Jacob was still staring at me. "I don't get it. Why would you take that chance? Why aren't you - why would you decide - " He struggled to form his question, but I cut him off. I knew what he was really asking, and it wasn't about me at all.

"I made a choice. Bella made a different one. Doesn't mean that one of us is wrong and one is right...we just - we have different situations. Bella not only has a sword hanging over her head, but she also has Edward. She wants to be with him. Even without the Volturi's ultimatium. she would have chosen to be with him for eternity. I don't have - " I stared ahead for a moment. "I don't have anyone that I would want to be immortal for and I think living forever will pretty much suck if I'm by myself. And besides...well, you know what? First of all, it's none of your business why I've chosen not to become a vampire. Second, you don't give a damn anyway - you're just looking for another excuse for Bella not to be one and you think I might be able to provide it. Sorry, but you're talking to the wrong girl." I stood up. "I have to go."

"Wait." He stood up as well, blocking my path. "Elisa, come home with me."

I stared at him. _"What?" _

His face was serious. "I can't do anything for Bella now, but I can still help you. As long as you're with the Cullens, you're a target. Even if they would never hurt you, everything else in their world is still a danger to you. Don't leave with them. Accept Sam and Emily's offer and come back with me. The Volturi will never have a reason to come to La Push. You'll be safe there, I promise."

I stared at his outstretched hand, and it was hard...so much harder than it had been before, to say the words that I knew I had to say. "I can't, Jacob. I know you don't understand but...well, look." I held out my wrist to him, letting him see the golden bracelet on it, and then I flipped the ID panel over so he could read the name on it...Elisa Cullen. "You see? They are my family now. I've lost enough. I'm not going to give up anyone else."

Jacob exhaled, dropping his hand. "You're right." He said flatly. "I don't understand. Elisa, what if the worst happens? What if they find you? Will the thrill of hanging out with vampires be worth it in the end? Is it worth losing your life over?"

I gave him a cold look. "They are far more than just vampires to me, Jacob, but I don't expect you to get that. Maybe you can understand this though - as much as no one seems to believe me, I do know what I'm risking and I've accepted the consequences. If it does come down to - " I hesitated for a moment " - the _worst_, well, at least I'll know that I lived my life on my terms and I didn't hide in a corner because I was afraid of what might happen. I spent it with the people I care about. That's just going to have to be enough."

Jacob started to say something else but just then a far away cry diverted both of our attention. "Elisa!" The call rang through the trees and I gasped. Someone was looking for me.

"Oh no, it's really late! The ceremony must be about to start - I have to go!" I turned to move through the trees and then looked back. "Are you coming, Jacob?"

Jacob took a deep breath. "I'm not really dressed." He looked down at his grimy clothing with a grimace. I started to protest but he held up a hand to stop me. "Elisa, I can't do it. I'm sorry but I can't send Bella down this path with a smile on my face. I can't stand there and watch her choose..._him_. But I won't - I won't interfere. I want her to be safe and I won't hurt her again. If this is how it has to be, then..." He couldn't seem to bring himself to say more.

Tears welled in my eyes. I could see now what his sacrifice was costing him. "Thank you, Jacob."

He nodded, his jaw tight. "I guess this is goodbye, then."

"Yeah." I nodded. "We're leaving tonight so I won't see you again. It's so weird that I'm actually sad about that."

He smiled, but his eyes were still empty. "You're a sweet girl, Elisa. Take care of yourself. Try not to let anything eat you."

"Ha ha." I rolled my eyes, then stood there, waiting.

He raised his eyebrows. "Don't you have a wedding to get to?"

"Yes." I smiled, swallowing back the sudden melancholia that wanted to claim me. "But you don't really think I'm going to miss seeing you do the wolf thing, do you?"

"Oh." Jacob smiled reluctantly. "I don't know, Elisa. I think I should wait until you're gone. It's sort of...intense. It might be too much for you."

"Excuse me?" I gave him an indignant look. "Whatever! I just don't think you want to show me because it's so much lamer then you want anyone to know about." I grinned and gave him a challenging look.

Jacob laughed out loud now, then shrugged. "OK, OK, if you insist. Are you sure you really want to see this?"

"Oh, come on." I drawled, folding my hands across my chest. "Impress me."

He gave me an amused _'you asked for it' _look and with that, he pushed himself away from me, turned, and moved towards the woods.

It was very fast. I don't know what I expected, more of a build up, some climatic music maybe, but there was no real warning. One minute Jacob was taking quick strides away from me, the next he moved much more quickly, almost as if he were jumping, and I didn't understand that it was the moment until I heard the violent ripping of his clothes. Before my disbelieving eyes, he...expanded. I couldn't think of a better word than that, and yet it was so inadequate to describe what was happening right before me. Pieces of his clothing shot up in the air and scattered over several feet and Jacob Black was gone. In his place, the biggest creature I'd ever seen in my life, even making the angry bear I'd once run into seem small in comparison, stood, turning to look at me.

My knees went weak and yet somehow, I managed to move. I stumbled backwards a few feet, only stopping when I backed into a tree, which I gratefully leaned into for support. I suddenly felt like I understood so much more now. I saw the power and majesty behind the Quileute legacy in a way I could have never imagined even a minute ago and I knew seeing even this glimpse of it with my own eyes was something I would never, ever forget.

The Jacob wolf merely stood there, watching me with those same century old black eyes, seeming to wait for a response.

"OK." I gasped out after a moment. "I admit it...I'm impressed."

A great rush of air left his lungs and I understood that he was laughing. I laughed too, albeit shakily. Then he took a step backwards, towards the thickest part of the forest, and his gigantic, shaggy head moved in a nod. A gesture of goodbye. I lifted a trembling hand in farewell, and then, with a great bound, he leapt away and was gone like he'd never been there at all.

I knew I should go too, but I stood there, watching, although there was nothing left to see. The lump in my throat grew and grew until it was nearly choking me, and the burning sensation in my eyes was unmistakable. I knew I didn't have time for this, and yet there was no help for it. I knew myself well enough to know that the tears were coming whether I wanted them to or not, and I might as well get it out of the way now.

I couldn't believe I was actually going to cry for Jacob Black. I was already sobbing, even as I scolded myself for it. How could someone who had been nothing but an annoyance to me this morning have the power to break my heart now? What was wrong with me? I felt disloyal for even feeling this way. _Good going, Elisa. _I snapped at myself. _Might as well turn in your Team Edward membership card. Welcome to Team Conflicted. No, more like Team __**Traitor.**_

The tears came harder now and I broke off my internal dialogue to give into them completely. At that moment, I deeply envied vampires for their ability to cry without tears. I was wiping them away as fast as I could, not wanting to wreck my makeup, but they kept coming faster and faster. I wasn't even sure who I was hurting for more now. Jacob and the shattered heart he held so clearly before him? Bella, because no one should ever have to be that torn or carry the burden of someone else's broken heart, especially on their wedding day? The girl, whoever she was, that was Jacob's destiny, the one he might never recognize, because his eyes were so full of the one he could never have?

Or maybe I was crying for me, because as bad as I felt for Jacob and Bella, I felt worse for myself. Because as petty as I knew it was, I was still jealous of her. It was terrifying to see for myself how violently love could wreck a person but even so, I still wanted it, and knowing that I was alone in this world, that there was pretty much no chance that anyone here that would ever love me half as much as either Jacob or Edward loved her... It not only made me feel every single bit of what I'd already lost but it was also making me grieve for what I would never have.

And it hurt too, to know how much I'd not only underestimated Jacob, but most likely the rest of them as well, his pack, Emily...every person at La Push that I had judged so easily and brushed off. I knew by choosing to leave with the Cullens tonight that I was giving up the chance to know some truly amazing people and yet there was no other way for me. The realization that I now knew just the tiniest bit of the conflict Bella felt every day made me cry even harder. How could she stand this kind of pain?

It seemed like I was there a long time, but I knew really it had only been a few minutes when I finally managed to get a hold of myself again. I wiped away the last few tears, took several deep breaths, and straightened up, hoping that when I got to the house my eyes and face wouldn't be too red and give me away. I already didn't know how I was going to explain why I'd been gone so long.

My head was full of excuses as I made my way through the trees, even as I knew that Alice wouldn't believe a single one of them. She'd smell Jacob on me, and so would the rest of them. They probably already knew he had been here. I just hoped no one was planning to clue Bella in. It was kinder if she was left in the dark, if she didn't have to know how much he was still suffering. Then again, maybe I should tell her I saw him...she had a right to know, didn't she? At least I could tell her truthfully that he wished her well...

It came from nowhere. Just as I saw the outline of the house through the trees, heard the muffled, yet cheerful voices of the guests and the first notes of the band warming up, just as I felt safer than I had since I'd decided to confront Jacob, something hard hit me from behind. I flew forward several feet, my progress only stopped by yet another tree. My hands shot out barely fast enough to keep my face from slamming into it as I came to a halt. I didn't even have time to move, to gasp for breath or scream before something icy gripped my arms and turned me around. My terrified eyes couldn't focus at first, and then the figure before me came into view.

Even as my breath came in panicked pants and every instinct within me screamed at me to run, I registered that she was beautiful, the creature before me. Despite her casual clothes covered in dust, as if she'd traveled a long way without stopping, and her glorious golden red hair thoughtlessly twisted into a loose bun, she looked like a supermodel. If I'd met her on the street or in a mall, I would have been admiring, even envious.

But we weren't in some commonplace scenario, and this was no ordinary meeting, because she was clearly a vampire. And I was a human who couldn't have been in a more vulnerable position. It looked like I had been right to fear what besides Jacob Black could have been lurking in the dark, but this hindsight wasn't going to do me any good, because she still held me against the tree in an iron grip. I was completely helpless, alone...and most likely, seconds from dying.

"You're not the one." The vampire said suddenly as she stared at me, and even as scared as I was I had to admire the perfect modulation of her voice. Her stunning face was frustrated now. "Then why..." She looked me over closely and then in a blindingly fast motion she grabbed my hand, the one Jacob had been holding, and sniffed it. Her face wrinkled into lines of disgust. "_That's_ why." She spat now. "Where is it?"

"Where's what?" I managed to squeak out, and then cursed myself for not using the little breath I had to scream for my life.

"The _dog_." She hissed. "I can smell it on you. Where did it go?"

I understood now. She'd smelled Jacob, the werewolf...her enemy. _He _was who she wanted, and I could tell by the unfiltered hatred that blazed from her eyes, it wasn't for a friendly chat. I clamped my lips together in a thin line. I had a feeling this was one of those scenarios where I died whether I talked or not, and I wasn't going to use my last breath to betray anyone.

The vampire woman watched my closed expression and shook her head. A bit of the predatory glare was leaving her face as she surveyed me. She looked actually almost...worried, as if she was realizing belatedly that she'd made a grave error in judgement. As her grip on me loosened just a bit, I wondered if I had made one myself. She was a vampire, yes. And clearly no friend of the wolves, but now I was registering her golden eyes, and I had to wonder if she was a friend of someone else. Like the Cullens...that had to be it. Why else would she be here?

"I don't understand." She was murmuring now, almost to herself. "You're human. And yet..." She looked at me and her eyes narrowed. "You know what I am."

"Um..." I wanted to deny it, but the right words wouldn't come. As I struggled for something to say that would get me out of this mess, her eyes suddenly darted back to the wrist that she still held, and fastened on my bracelet. The ID panel was still face up, and I saw her lips move silently as she read the name on it.

"Elisa Cullen." She whispered. Her face was shocked for a moment. _"Cullen." _She stared at me for a moment and I stared back, unable to look away from the hypnotic glare of her eyes. Then, shockingly, she began to laugh. "I don't believe it." Abruptly, she stepped away from me, and I dropped away from the tree, barely stopping myself from falling. The relief that I felt at being released was short lived. Almost immediately, she grabbed my wrist again and began to drag me - _towards_ the house.

"I just can't wait to hear the story behind this." She was still chuckling to herself, but there was a note of irritation in it that was unsettling. At least she no longer seemed like she was about to rip my throat out, and she was taking me to the house...to do what I didn't know, but it didn't seem like I was going to die in the next few minutes. I stopped trying to dig my feet into the ground and concentrated just on keeping up with her. I'd settle for explanations when we got there.

Despite my good intentions, curiosity got the best of me. "Who are you?" I blurted out as she tugged me onto the immense green lawn.

The vampire woman paused and looked at me, her perfect lips curling into a smirk. "Oh, how rude of me not to introduce myself. Hello, Elisa. My name is Tanya."

_**Edward: **_

_I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
I don't know what I'm diving into  
just hanging by a moment here with you..._

'Hanging By a Moment', Lifehouse

_"I'm saying let's go. Right now. I want to look in your eyes when I tell you how wrong you are, and I want you to believe me. Let's get out of here, go someplace where we can be completely alone, and talk this out..."_

My words echoed in my head as I waited for the seconds that were stretching into eternity to pass. As I stood there, on the other side of the door from Bella, I was already making plans. Getting out of here without anyone seeing could be tricky, but definitely not impossible. Going out the window would probably be our best bet, considering the grounds were now covered with guests. After that, it was just a short run to the garage, and I was certain we could manage that without running into anyone.

But what vehicle to take? I really didn't want to drive off in the Volvo. It wasn't fast enough, for one thing, and for another I definitely didn't want to be breathing in the pungent aroma of cat urine for hundreds of miles. I wondered if Alice would be too angry if we took her Porsche but immediately dismissed that notion. Asking my sister to be that understanding was pushing it, especially since we'd be leaving her with the fallout that our departure would cause. Alright, the Aston Martin then. After all, it was my 'special occasion' car and absconding with Bella mere minutes before our wedding ceremony was to begin was nothing if not a special occasion.

I felt a rush of guilt as I remembered Alice's world weary mental sigh of just a few minutes ago, sent towards me as I crept up the stairs. "If it makes Bella happy..." she'd thought sadly, clearly meaning for me to hear her, as she emptied the room so I could speak with my bride. I hadn't understood then what she had meant, but just a few moments later it had become clear exactly what I needed to do.

I couldn't continue to coerce Bella into this ceremony, not when I knew she was unhappy about it, not when I knew she was doing it just for me. Especially not when she still thought I was having doubts about our future. I only had myself to blame for that. I had meant it when I told her I didn't regret inviting Jacob, but I certainly regretted not telling her about it. What a foolish thing to do, withhold something like that from her and not expect it to come back and strike me in the face. Both Elisa and Alice had told me to confess, and I didn't listen. Now I was paying the price for my stubbornness, but if my only punishment was having to give up this ceremony, I would accept it gladly. In fact, it would be proof positive that once again Bella was letting me off far too easily.

A slight inhalation on the other side of the door caught my attention again. Bella had been silent for the past minute and I didn't want to press her - not that I wasn't sure what her decision would be. And to my own surprise, I wasn't nearly as selfishly disappointed as I had feared. Oh, it definitely pained me, knowing that although they would understand, my family would be disappointed, especially Alice and Elisa. And it stung as well to know that I was taking their daughter's biggest milestone away from Charlie and Renee as well, but how could I put anyone else's feelings above Bella's? This was her wedding day, and I didn't want her to look back on it with regrets. I knew I never would, no matter how we got married, whether it was in Vegas with an Elvis impersonator and strangers off the streets as witnesses, or in a courthouse with a judge or...

But what if, now that I had given her the choice, Bella had decided she didn't want to get married at all? Oh, I wasn't insecure enough to believe that this whole Jacob situation was a deal breaker. I knew she still wanted to be with me, but what if she had made up her mind that marriage would just never be what she wanted? I knew it didn't mean to her what it meant to me, so if that was her choice - I gritted my teeth. I would just have to accept it, and I would never let her know how..._bereft_ that made me feel. It was ridiculous, I knew...a piece of paper would not make us more committed to each other but still, to stand in front of man and God and pledge our eternal promise to each other...what that meant to me I could never properly express, not even to myself.

The doorknob moved, just the tiniest bit, and I smiled, putting away my wistful longings. None of that mattered now. What mattered was that I was still getting my dream come true. Bella and I were about to begin our lives together, whether it was unconventional or not. I would not waste a second of our time in regrets or thinking of what might have been. The thought of leaving with her, right now, finally being alone, able to look into her eyes and reassure her of the depth of my desire for our forever together was an ineredibly irresistible one. Suddenly, I felt like I couldn't wait an instant longer.

I put my hand back on to the doorknob, smiling. "Actually, Bella, it's better if I come in there because we're going to need to go out the window and - " As I spoke, I'd begun to turn the doorknob, but my words were cut off in surprise as I suddenly felt it tighten in my hand. I twisted it past the resistance anyway, but the moment I began to push open the door it slammed shut again. I could have forced it, but I knew Bella was putting all her weight against it to stop me.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

Her voice finally sounded and to my amazement, I heard laughter in it. "Sorry, Edward, but you're not getting out of this that easily."

"I don't understand." My voice was as confounded as I felt, and then I sighed. "Bella, don't do this. Don't decide that we have to go through with this for everyone else."

"Actually, I'm not." Her muffled voice was mildly indignant. "Edward, it's not that I don't want to leave with you. I'm tempted, I really am. But I did what you asked. I imagined what it would be like to walk out there, and I saw all those faces in my head, staring at me. And you know what I've realized? I don't want to remember this day and _not_ be able to see those faces, every single one of them. I don't want to look back and not remember my father walking me down the aisle or my mother watching, or any of the other people we care about standing by us."

For a moment I couldn't respond. Her words brought it all back to me, just how badly I wanted to go out there, in front of all those people. and make her my wife and I didn't want her to hear that longing in my voice. I knew if she did, the discussion would be over and I still had to give her this chance. It took me a few more of those infuriatingly long seconds to be able to trust myself not to just give in to my own selfish desires before I spoke again. "Bella, as lovely as that sounds, I meant it when I said that I can't go through with this if you are having doubts. I can't stand it if you marry me thinking I've deceived you and I'm still working against the future we planned together. Please, open the door and take my hand, and let me prove to you how much I want the same things you do."

"Edward." Her voice was quieter now, more serious. "You don't need to jump through hoops to make me believe you. As much as I want to look into your eyes when you say it, I don't need that in order to know that you're sincere. I trust you with everything I have to tell me the truth. So tell me now, right here...do you still wish I'd choose something besides a life with you? If you could, would you change things for us and send me down a different path?"

I closed my eyes at her words, my hands splayed over the cool wood grain of the door between us, wishing I could reach right through it and touch her. I stood there, only for a half a second, before I spoke the only words I could, the absolute truth. "Never, Bella. Never, even if it was the right thing to do, could I ever again wish for an existence where we are not together. I can't take one more step without you. I can't even imagine it."

There was a sigh from the other side of the door that still separated us, to my ever-growing frustration, and then she spoke again. "I can't either, Edward. I can't imagine having to live through another second without you. And that's all I needed to hear."

"Are you _crying_?" My voice rose in alarm.

To my surprise, she laughed again, despite the slight choke in her voice. "Brides are _supposed_ to cry on their wedding day." She paused for a moment, and her voice became clearer. "I'm crying because I'm happier than I've ever been. And the only thing that is going to make this day better is for me to be able to see your face as I walk down the aisle towards you. I want that memory more than anything. So I can't give you my hand right now...the next time you're going to see it is when you're putting a ring on it. I am sure - more sure than anything - that it's what I want. So if you really want this day to be as perfect as it can be, then it's time for you to go back downstairs and keep our appointment. You know where to wait for me at. I'll be there soon...the one in the white dress."

"Are you sure?" I couldn't stand to open my eyes, afraid that it would all disappear, that this was some elaborate fantasy I'd cooked up in my head. "Because we could still - "

"Edward." Her voice was slightly teasing now, slightly impatient. "No Runaway Bride today. Now go downstairs and get ready to make an honest woman of me, or I'm going to take a page out of Elisa's book and sic Emmett on you."

How could I tell her - how could I possibly find the words - to express what this...no, what _she_ meant to me? How could I even begin to describe how overflowing with happiness and relief I was at this moment? I hated it, being trapped on the other side of the door from her as her voice overwhelmed me. My fingers were digging into it, and too late, I realized the wood was splintering lightly. I wanted to tear it off its hinges and get to her, but then I realized what she was saying and finally, I could believe that she truly meant it.

"Edward?" Her voice was questioning now, nervous at my silence.

"Bella." I said her name back. "I'll be waiting for you. I love you."

"I love you too." Her voice was hushed. "So much." Then she chuckled softly. "Now go. I'll see you soon."

I could not stop smiling as I turned, making my way back downstairs. I felt light enough to fly. What had I ever done to deserve this? It seemed too good to be true, that not only could I have Bella, could I love her and she love me, but that our dreams could be the same? It seemed that the whole universe was entirely out of balance, tilted far too much in my direction, giving me everything I never knew I needed. It was almost frightening in a way...I had learned in my long existence that what is given can just as easily be taken away. But no...I would never let that happen. Nothing and no one would ever separate me from Bella again.

My feet were taking me outside, towards the lawn where our guests converged, a few starting to take their seats, when I realized that was not where I wanted to be. I didn't feel like meaningless small talk at the moment...I wanted to be alone for these last few minutes, just glorying in my undeserved good fortune, holding on this moment forever. I turned abruptly, quickly ducking out of sight before anyone could converge on me with their good wishes, and headed around the side of the house.

Alone for the moment, I leaned against the wall of the house, and closed my eyes. The sensations that I felt, the things I saw on the back of my closed eyelids amazed me...I'd never felt anything close to this before and I reveled in it, in the clearest visions I'd ever seen dancing through my head, showing me endless possibilities...showing me the life, the future I never would have guessed in a million years that I would have...

"Edward."

My eyes flew open at the sound of my name. In front of me, Rosalie smirked. "Now that's a first...I can't remember ever having been able to sneak up on you before."

Despite the fact that she had just interrupted the closest experience that I'd had to dreaming in almost a century, I couldn't bring myself to be angry with her. Instead, I merely smiled in acknowledgement that she had bested me in this small way. Rosalie chuckled, but then her face turned just the tiniest bit annoyed. "You've been avoiding me."

I opened my mouth to deny it, and her eyes flashed. With a sigh, I gave up. Her thoughts were already calling me out, and she was right. "I'm sorry. It's just that - "

"It's just that what?" she snapped, her irritation quickly overflowing. I frowned, but remained silent. She'd been banking this resentment for days, and the only thing to do now was let her vent. "That everyone in our family gets to wish you well but me? Why is that, Edward?"

"I didn't mean to make you feel excluded." My voice was sincerely apologetic. I could see now that I had genuinely hurt her feelings. "I suppose that - " I didn't know how to say what I meant without making things worse. The last thing I wanted to do was mar this day with yet another argument.

"I don't have to read minds to know what you're getting at." Rosalie gave me an aggravated look. "You're so sure that you know already what I want to say to you, and you didn't want to hear it. Is that right?" _Maybe it's time that you admit that you don't know me as well as you think you do, Edward. If you would open up that all knowing mind of yours sometimes, you might actually learn something new._

I was listening to her thoughts and memories now, more than her voice, watching as visions of Bella - I was amused at how deliberately blurry my bride's face was in them; obviously Rosalie was in agreement with Alice about me not seeing Bella before our wedding - flitted across the screen of her mind. We stood in silence for a moment as I put the pieces together, then turned back to her. "You made peace with Bella."

She shrugged. "Are you really so surprised?"

The honest answer was yes, but I bit that back. "Thank you, Rosalie. That means a lot - to both of us."

Rosalie sighed. "I know you resent the way I've acted towards her, Edward, the things I said...and I'm not going to apologize. Not to you. Because you, of all people, should have understood why. I was trying to save her life, just like you were."

I nodded slowly. "Perhaps I'm the one who owes you an apology, Rosalie. I think that I...assumed your motives too quickly, You're right - sometimes I do think I know all of you so well that I don't really listen to the real meaning behind your thoughts. I will try not to make that mistake again."

Rosalie nodded, smiling slightly. "I suppose I gave you enough reasons to jump to conclusions. But Edward...please believe that I really am happy for you. For both of you, even if I don't...well, it's like I told her. I tried, and now there's nothing more I can do but accept your choices." She frowned then, and I shied away from the sudden turmoil of her thoughts. There was something else she wanted to say to me, but it made her feel embarrassed, even vulnerable, and I wanted to give her enough privacy to make the decision herself whether to continue the conversation or not.

In a moment, she'd made up her mind. "I lied." She wasn't looking at me now. "I do owe you an apology. Not for the things I said to Bella - that's between me and her now. I owe you an apology because I didn't understand for a long time why you had to have her. I didn't even try. Even when I saw how it tore you apart to give her up, I didn't try. I wish now that I had done things differently. I wish I had been a better sister - to both of you. I just couldn't comprehend how you could be so attached to a human despite the danger it put you both in. I think I get that now, at least more than I did."

"Because of Elisa." It wasn't a question. "You're attached to her."

Rosalie sighed. "Well, Emmett's so fond of her and I suppose in her own way she's tolerable..." She broke off at my grin. "Fine. I admit it. I'm attached." To my amusement, she began to pace back and forth for a few steps before throwing me an aggravated glance. "And it's so...unnerving! Being fond of a human when they are so..._breakable. _How do you stand it with Bella, especially with the propensity that girl has for landing herself in the worst possible scenarios? I know I can't watch Elisa all the time and it's silly to be so overprotective but I can't seem to help it. I worry about her and all the millions of things that could happen to her constantly and it's driving me mad! I can't stand thinking - Edward, why are you _laughing_?"

"I'm sorry." I tried to keep a straight face and failed miserably. "It's just...out of all the things we do have in common, I never thought this - a weakness for humans - would be one of them. You have to admit it's rather ironic."

"Oh, shut up. You don't have to be so smug about it." Rosalie scowled at me for a moment, and then reluctantly, her lips quirked into a smile and after a moment, she was laughing too. "I never imagined it either. In a way, it's rather nice to know that even after all this time in this existence that there are still new things to do, new feelings to discover. I'll get used to it, I suppose." She sighed. "Speaking of which, do you know where Elisa is? I can't seem to locate her. Of course it would be easier to find her if I didn't have the scent of werewolf in my nostrils everywhere I turn." She gave me a scathing look. "I can't believe you invited the dog."

I sighed. "Join the club. I did, however, have my reasons."

Rosalie sighed. "Well, is he actually going to attend the ceremony or is he just going to lurk in the shadows all day?"

I frowned. "I don't know. I haven't really been listening..." I didn't want to, either, in all honesty. I knew the pain that Jacob was experiencing right now as if it were my own. It was something I'd already had gone through myself, and I wasn't particularly inclined to relive the experience through him. Still, I should probably check - the last thing Bella needed was another surprise, and if Jacob was going to show up, she should be prepared.

So I let my mind open, searching not only for Jacob's thoughts, but Elisa's as well, so that I could direct Rosalie to her. It was more difficult than usual...not only did we have a lot of people on the grounds, but the sense of occasion in the air had their thoughts excited, babbling. My name and Bella's name was repeated so many times in the din rushing into my head that for a moment it was impossible to concentrate. After a moment though I was able to sift through the chaos. bringing individual voices out of the masses, identifying them, and moving on, until I found what I was looking for.

"Oh." I grimaced slightly. "Hmmm."

"Who is it, Jacob or Elisa?" Rosalie demanded, looking at me as I listened.

I sighed. "Both."

"Both?" Rosalie looked puzzled for a moment, then her face darkened. _"Together?" _

I didn't have to nod - she read the confirmation clearly on my face, and her hands twisted into fists. "You see?" She burst out. "That girl is a walking disaster! First Elisa runs into Jane, after that she gets hit by a car, then she _dies_, is miraculously resurrected here, moves in with a house full of vampires, and now she's gone trotting off into the forest with a _werewolf_! I swear sometimes I think she might even be worse then_ Bella_. How are we supposed to keep her alive when she has no common sense whatsoever?"

Rosalie was fuming now as she glared towards the forest and I had to bite down on the urge to begin laughing again. My sister shot me a dirty look and then turned back towards the dense foliage. "Elisa!" She called, her voice sharp, then sighed. "Oh, never mind. I'll just go and get - "

"Edward!" My name, both thought and spoken in urgent tones, had us both turning our heads and then looking upwards to see Alice on the balcony above us. When my eyes met hers she gave me a deeply frustrated look. "We have a problem."

I gave her a bewildered look. "What - " I stopped speaking as the image filled my head. "No." I groaned loudly. "Not _her_. Damn it, Alice, why didn't you warn me sooner that she was coming?"

"I _did_." Alice nearly growled. "Last night, remember? I told you there was something that you would need to take care of today! I thought you would have done it by now - do we really need anything else going wrong?"

"You did?" I thought back to Alice's words from last night, and winced lightly as I realized she was right. She had sent me a clear image of Tanya's arrival and I had ignored it completely, so focused on Bella and today. "I'm sorry, Alice...I must not have been paying attention. I'll take care of it now...I'm assuming she's already here?"

"Yes." Alice was still frowning, but it was a look more of irritation than concern and I relaxed a bit. She must have seen that it wouldn't be difficult to get rid of our latest wedding crasher. "Please go deal with her before this gets to be bigger than you and Bel - " Suddenly, she froze, and in a second her face had gone from annoyed to blank and then to alarmed.

"What is it?" Rosalie had been looking back and forth between us, trying to understand what was happening.

"Elisa." I gritted my teeth as the images from Alice's mind filled my own, and then smiled grimly, hoping to dispel some of the alarm on Rosalie's face. "Come on, let's go rescue your disaster prone human before she gets herself into real trouble."

I looked back at Alice, who exhaled loudly. _"Hurry." _She urged. "I need all the bridesmaids upstairs as soon as possible, and I'd really prefer Elisa to be in _one_ piece." She shot me a final, aggrieved look and then disappeared back inside.

Rosalie needed no prompting; she was right at my side as I rushed towards the woods. I looked at her set jaw and clenched fists with amusement. "You know, if you really want to keep Elisa alive, maybe you might want to consider not fantasizing so much about killing her."

Rosalie just shook her head as we moved. _"That girl.."_ she exhaled. It was her only response and yet I understood exactly how she felt.

Almost as soon as we had begun to move, I held up a hand and Rosalie and I came to an abrupt halt. We were almost at the treeline - and then they were there, appearing from the trees, before us. I had the smallest glimpse of Elisa's pale face before Tanya filled my vision and the next thing I knew, a soft bundle of flesh and pink silk was being hurled towards me. Elisa smacked into my chest hard, and I had to grab her to keep her from falling. Immediately, Rosalie reached out and took her arm, pulling Elisa to her side and stepping in front of her protectively. Both of us turned to glare at our new arrival.

"Rosalie, Edward." Tanya's voice was as pleasant as if she had just dropped in for tea. She gestured at Elisa with a smirk. "I believe _that_ belongs to you. You really shouldn't allow your family pet to wander around unprotected in the forest, you know. Especially when the dogs are out." The sudden fire in her eyes proved that she wasn't as calm as she pretended to be.

Elisa was staring back and forth between us, watching every nuance of our expressions as I gazed at Tanya and she looked back at me. I could hear Elisa trying to make the connection, understand why the name Tanya was so familiar to her, and then something in our faces triggered it, and the last pieces of the puzzle fell into place. _Tanya! _She thought to herself. _From the Denali Clan...the one who - _Elisa's eyes suddenly locked onto me with an outraged expression. _This is all __**your**__ fault, Edward! You just had to break the rules and come see Bella last night and now the bad luck genie is totally out of the bottle. Lovelorn ex's and wanna be's are crawling out of the woodwork - what next, is Mike Newton going to challenge you to a duel? _

"Calm down, Elisa." I murmured out of the side of my mouth as Tanya watched us curiously. "Everything is going to be fine."

_Calm down?! _Elisa's thoughts sputtered into incoherent fury for a few minutes before they became clear enough to read once again. _Do you have any idea what I've been through today trying to make sure you and Bella get married without any more problems? _Random images and phrases tumbled over each other in her mind...first I heard her irritation with Bella, my reluctant bride and I couldn't help but smile, knowing how all that had turned out. Then I saw her with Jacob, arguing...now he was on the ground, grieving, and I heard her internal conflict, her frustrated attempts to comfort and reason with him...there was more, another struggle, a personal one this time but she shied away from that, not wanting me to hear it. The visual changed again and I watched Tanya hurl her into a tree...

_I can't take any more of this, Edward! Just - forget being a gentleman for once, throw her back to wherever she came from and let's get on with it already! Bella is waiting for you! Are we __**ever **__going to get this ceremony underway?_

"Rosalie, Alice is waiting for both of you. Why don't you take Elisa back to the house?" I suggested quietly, wanting Elisa out of the way so I could deal with this latest complication. "I'll be right there."

Rosalie nodded and began to pull Elisa away but Tanya's thoughts turned sharp and she stepped forward to intercept them. "Not so fast." With lightning speed, she reached out and grabbed Elisa's wrist and I saw with a small hint of dread that her eyes were on the bracelet I'd given her. "Do you mind explaining this?"

"I really don't see how we owe you an explanation, Tanya." My words sounded through gritted teeth and I exchanged a frustrated look with Rosalie. What had we done? How could we have exposed Elisa like this - why weren't we more careful? True, Tanya was our friend, our ally, but still, Elisa's existence was supposed to be a carefully guarded secret, safe from the dangerous world we were reluctant members of. The more people - no, the more _vampires_ - who found out about her, the more danger she was in...the higher the likelihood was of word getting back to the Volturi. We would have to tread very carefully in the next few minutes and in the future, we could never afford to be this careless again.

"Perhaps it's not my business." Tanya's voice was even smoother, but with a clear tone of warning. "But humor me. I'm just _brimming_ with curiousity." She still held Elisa's wrist, her eyes touring over her, sizing her up. Elisa glared back, her ever present temper beginning to overcome her quite sensible fear and I hurried to speak before our adopted human inevitably said something that would make the situation even worse.

"Elisa is...alone in the world, Tanya. We've taken her in." My explanation was clipped.

"Why?" Tanya looked from Elisa back to us. "What did you do, eat her parents and then adopt her out of guilt?" She snickered, and Elisa shot her a furious look, opening her mouth. Only my warning stare stopped her from speaking.

"Seriously though...why her? What's so special about this child? Is she exceptional in some way?" Tanya suddenly dropped Elisa's wrist and then took her face in her hands, turning her head back and forth as she looked her over. Elisa gasped indignantly and tried to pull away but Tanya held her fast. I clenched my jaw, shooting a warning glance at Rosalie's tense face this time, knowing if I tried to intervene it would just make things worse. Tanya was merely curious at this point, but if we became too defensive that would change to suspicion, and who knew what she'd decide to do next.

After a moment, Tanya dropped her hands. "I don't see the pull myself. She's pretty enough, but the world is full of exotic humans to change into even more interesting vampires. I don't understand why you selected this one." She shrugged now, clearly losing interest. "How much longer are you going to let her age before you change her?"

I kept my face expressionless at that, but a tiny gasp came from Rosalie, and Tanya's eyes suddenly fastened on her, then narrowed, considering what she saw on my sister's face. "I don't believe it. You're not going to change her, are you?" Her voice rose in disbelief. "You have to be joking. What do you think you're doing? How can you consider something this foolish? Are you so addicted to humans now that you would endanger not only yourself but me and mine as well?" Her eyes were sparking now as they met mine. "We're your closest allies. If the Volturi comes down on you, their eyes will turn to us next. Why would you risk all of us?"

"She doesn't want to become one of us, Tanya." Rosalie stepped forward now, her voice careful as she considered how best to plead with her old friend. "You know that Carlisle would never allow this lifestyle to be forced on anyone. She had the right to make her own choice."

"Her own choice." Tanya snorted in disbelief, looking at the three of us. "What kind of fairytale world are you living in? Are you really so deluded that you imagine she actually has a choice? Or are you just cruel enough to let her believe that until the inevitable occurs?" She lifted Elisa's chin in her hand, forcing her to look Tanya in the eyes. "Let me clue you in to the truth, pet. There is only one real choice for a human that knows our secrets. Die young...or live forever. I suggest you decide quickly."

Elisa blanched at her words, her face going pale once more, and beside her, Rosalie hissed. Tanya lifted her head and laughed softly. "Why, you do value her, don't you? That's very interesting, coming from you, Rose. In that case, I'll tell you what. If Carlisle doesn't have the stomach for it, _I'll _change her. As a favor to my old friends." She dropped Elisa's face abruptly and held out a hand. "What do you say, pet? It's just three days to a whole new you."

Rosalie moved now, knocking Tanya's hands away, standing between her and Rosalie. Her eyes were glittering dangerously as she looked at the other woman. "Get away from her!" I quickly stepped to her side, and the two of formed a vampiric wall in front of Elisa, both of our stances defensive.

For a moment, Tanya looked stunned, and then she laughed, a tinkling sound full of disbelief. "Would you fight me over her, Edward? Rosalie? Has this small human really changed things between us so much? Am I not still your friend?"

"Lay another finger on her and see how quickly you earn my enmity, Tanya." Rosalie's voice was a snarled warning.

For a moment Tanya's eyes blazed violently back, and their golden eyes clashed together as they stared each other down. Then, with a sigh of defeat, she dropped her defensive stance. "Well." Her hands dropped to her side. "I have to say, I didn't expect this at all." She stood in silence for a moment, and I listened to her debate with herself. As her thoughts became less heated, I began to relax, straightening up to face her, waiting for her to speak.

"I value you all too much to allow this child to divide us. As far as I'm concerned, from this point on the girl doesn't exist. But hear this - we will not betray you or your pet, but we will not suffer for your foolishness either. If the Volturi comes down on you, don't expect us to come to your defense. We have to protect our own above all, and I won't lose any of my family to your folly." Tanya turned to me. "Do we understand each other?"

"Perfectly." I smiled now as we clasped hands in a gesture of understanding. "Thank you, Tanya."

Tanya merely shook her head, clearly indicating that while she may have accepted our decision she certainly didn't understand it, and then turned to Rosalie. "And you, Rose? Can I still call you my friend?"

Rosalie smiled as well, her face relaxed with relief. "Of course, Tanya." They clasped hands as well. Elisa stood silently, watching with wide eyes, her thoughts once again chaotic, a mixture of fright, conflict, and rebellion. I sighed. Tanya had re-opened a can of worms with Elisa that we thought we had sealed...sooner or later, we were going to have to address this issue all over again.

"We need to go, Elisa. It's almost time." Rosalie touched her shoulder to get her attention.

Elisa nodded shakily. "OK." She began to turn towards the house, and then turned back. "Aren't you coming, Edward?"

Tanya answered before I could. "Sorry, pet, but Edward and I have unfinished business." Her voice was low now, intense.

As realization dawned in Elisa's eyes, they burned angrily and I suppressed a groan as the furious thoughts spilled out of her mouth. "Excuse me? Are you seriously that shameless? You do realize he's getting married in about five minutes, don't you?"

"Elisa, _please_ be quiet." My voice was pleading. "Allow me to deal with this."

"Oh no, let her speak!" Tanya's voice was amused once more. "What are you, the bride's lap dog? Did she send you out here to bark at the heels of all of her rivals?"

Elisa snorted angrily, pulling away from Rosalie's restraining grip. "Rival? _You? _That's funny that you would think of yourself that way, considering that until today I've never once heard Edward even speak your name." Her voice was amazingly scornful and I almost admired the way she didn't seem to care at all that she was insulting someone who could kill her in less than a second.

The amusement immediately left Tanya's face. "In the interest of not dying_ today_, pet, I suggest you remember just who you're talking to." She hissed. I closed my eyes in exasperation. As Elisa had pointed out, it was mere minutes before I was to marry Bella and I was stuck in the middle of a cat fight. Fantastic.

Rosalie dashed forward and grabbed Elisa around the waist as she started to speak again, lifting her off her feet and turning her towards the house. She should have put a hand over her mouth, however, because even as she was being forcefully removed from the scene Elisa continued to yell over her shoulder.

"Oh yeah, is that a threat?! You'd better hope I _never_ become a vampire then, because the first thing I would do is kick your skanky - " Before she could finish, Rosalie did clamp a hand over Elisa's mouth, her own face shocked. She shot me an exasperated look and with that, she carried the still angry but thankfully muzzled Elisa away.

I didn't know whether to laugh or...well, actually the urge to laugh was really the only one I was feeling at the moment. I'd have time to be angry at Elisa's heedlessness later. Rosalie was no doubt angry enough to cover the both of us anyway - I could only imagine the blistering, well-deserved scolding that Elisa was getting at the moment. The girl really did allow her temper to overcome her common sense far too often...that was something else we'd need to address soon.

Tanya was staring after their disappearing figures with a stunned expression, and then she turned back to me. I was surprised to see a glint of humor returning to her own eyes, and then she chuckled. "Well...how interesting. That's one bold little girl you all have taken under your wing. Maybe she has potential after all." She lifted her shoulders. "Of course, she's deeply stupid, and possibly has a death wish, but at least she has guts, and she's apparently loyal as well. Those aren't bad qualities to have. Really though, I'd stop all this wishy-washy nonsense about letting her remain human and just bite her already. Otherwise, with a mouth like that someone's bound to kill her before the year is out."

"I'll take that under advisement." I murmured sarcastically. "But now I do have a wedding to get to, and I hate to be rude, but I think you understand why it's best that you leave before it begins."

"Oh, yes, I understand perfectly." Tanya's face suddenly became cold. "Not only do you think it might create an uncomfortable situation with your bride, but you're worried about what I could do to your other so called friends. I ran across one of your 'guests' earlier by the way, or at least the stench it left behind." She glared at me now. "I can't believe you allow them so close. Do you have any idea the pain those _beasts_ have caused my family? Do you not even comprehend the threat they still represent to you and yours, even? And how do all of you respond to that? You ally with them in battle, despite knowing they'll use what they've learned about you against you in the end. You_ socialize _with them." Her voice dripped with disgust. "The only thing that is stopping us from attacking them is our loyalty to your clan. You'd just better hope they keep to their side of the bargain. Believe me, any one of us would love an excuse to take them out."

"The treaty stands." My voice was warning now. "Even after we're gone from the area. Understand that. If any one of you touch the wolves, we will have a serious problem."

Tanya glowered at me for a minute, and then turned away. "Fine." she spat.

"If that's it then..." I began to move away from her as I spoke, knowing it was useless to try to avoid what was coming but unable to stop myself from trying anyway.

"Edward." Tanya turned back to me, moving to block my way, her voice lower now. "You know why I really came here." She came closer to me now, and her fingers begin to drift up and down the lapel of my suit. "You're making a mistake. I can save you from it. I can offer you so much more than this." She looked into my eyes.

I struggled for every bit of patience that I possessed before I answered. "Tanya, we've had this discussion before. My answer is even more emphatic now."

"Of course. Because of _her_...that trembling mortal that you are so eager to shackle yourself to." Tanya's nose wrinkled. "But don't you understand, that's exactly why I thought this time you might feel differently! Before, you were closed off, not only from me, but from the world, from anything that could possibly touch you. Now you've experienced a relationship and your eyes have been opened to a whole new world. I can take you the rest of the way into that world, Edward. I could be your partner, your equal, in more ways than she could ever conceive of. Don't you see that? How good we could be together?"

As she spoke, she pressed herself closer to me, but it was her thoughts, the mental images she was sending at me, that she truly hoped to tempt me with. They swirled into my head now, living fantasies that she had created just for me, vision after vision of the two of us, entwined in a variety of intimate poses, each more creative than the last. I tried to block them, but they came faster and faster. My face twisted as I pulled away from her, unable to hide the revulsion I felt.

Tanya stared at me and my changing expressions and I saw the change in her eyes, the near shock she felt as she registered my reaction. "Am I really that loathsome to you?" She whispered. Her voice held more amazement than hurt.

"I'm sorry, Tanya." I pushed her back gently. "But there is not, and never was, anything that I felt for you other than friendship. Not before Bella and certainly not now. I love her. Can't you, of all people, understand that, with all you've seen of this world? I love her with every fiber of my being. There is nothing else in this universe that I need or desire except to be with her."

Tanya continued to hold my eyes with her own for a long moment, and I was silent, just listening to her process my words. Finally, she sighed. "You do, don't you? You truly love her. So be it, then. I have to say, I don't envy you. You'll live and you'll die on her whim now, a slave to your own emotions. What a foolish way to spend eternity, as nothing more than a puppet." Her voice and her thoughts didn't hold any malice, just genuine astonishment, and suddenly, I pitied her and what she couldn't understand, deeply.

"I can't accept that you truly believe that, Tanya. You are hardly immune to love. I've seen you, with your family. You love them fiercely. You'd die for any of them without hesitation. Do you really think that those bonds enslave you?"

Tanya shook her head impatiently. "Love and loyalty to family is one thing. It's natural...instinctive. And lust I understand as well. I enjoy it, as you well know. It's not only pleasurable, but an extremely useful tool." She sent a predatory smile my way. "But romantic love...it's _insidious_. It's an infection, a disease that rots from the inside out. It takes away everything except the obsessive desire to be with the object of your affections at the expense of everything else. I know you don't agree. My family doesn't either, for that matter, but look at what_ love _has done to us. You remember my sister, Edward. You remember how full of life she was. For hundreds of years, she had the world at her feet and she was such a force of nature. There was nothing she couldn't do. Now she sits, and she stares, and she grieves. She lives, and yet she's empty...lifeless...dead as she would have been if she had only been granted her mortal life and was nothing more than dust. I look into her eyes, and my sister isn't there anymore." Her voice was suddenly filled with grief, and I couldn't help but feel for her. "_Love_ did that, Edward. It destroyed her, and the rest of us have ceased to mean anything to her. We just have to stand by and watch. I think you can understand my utter disdain for the whole phenomenon."

"And yet you feel the void, Tanya. You were going to use me to try and fill it, despite the fact that you hold no real feelings for me either. It was that, and your pride and stubbornness that led you here more than anything else, the fact that you couldn't really bring yourself to believe that I didn't want you."

"Hmmm." Tanya's lips tightened momentarily, and then she smiled again, though reluctantly. "I have always found your insight rather annoying. Alright, so I admit it. I would like a companion of my own. Especially now that Irina...well, I suppose it has left an emptiness within me. Give yourself a little credit, however. I could have anyone I want, but I came for _you_. I do honestly believe that we could have been good together. But you are right. I don't love you...at least not in that way, and I would never want to either. And if it's love you must have, then you can keep your simpering bride, and I'll do nothing more but wish you well. I don't pretend to understand it though, Edward. Aside from my own wishes, it just doesn't make sense to me. Look at you! How can this weak little human who needs to be rescued all the time possibly be your true mate? At least you're planning on making _her _immortal soon but still..." Her voice was genuinely bewildered.

"Bella is so much more than what you imagine, Tanya. You just don't know her." I knew as soon as I said those words that I'd made a mistake. Tanya's eyes narrowed and became calculating. "That's true, Edward. I _haven't _met her. But I would like to."

My mouth hardened into a rigid line. "Not today." My voice was nearly a growl.

Tanya shrugged, unruffled by my change in tone. "No." She agreed. "Not today. But soon. You can't put it off forever, you know, and I admit, I am extremely curious about this paragon of yours."

"You know what they say about curiousity, Tanya. It kills the cat." I couldn't hide the irritation in my tone.

"Yes, but satisfaction always brings it back." Her voice was smug now. "Oh, don't look at me like that, Edward. You never know...she might actually like me. You do...sometimes."

"Sometimes." I agreed, letting her know by my expression that this definitely was _not_ one of those times.

She laughed again. "I suppose I should go. And Edward..." She turned, and tossed me a final look over her shoulder. "Please, consider bringing her soon. I promise to behave myself and everyone would like to see you. Maybe it would even do Irina some good. She doesn't blame Bella, you know, for what happened. None of us do. It's the wolves who are responsible..." Her lips twisted again, but with a mighty struggle she forced her expression to become benign once more. "Just come. It's been a rough time. All of us could use a little distraction."

I sighed and then nodded. "I'll see what I can do, Tanya."

That mischievous glint was in her eyes again. "Once your Elisa is a little less...mortal, send her our way too. The others would certainly get a kick out of her."

"_Goodbye_, Tanya." My words were pointed, and with one final chiming laugh, she was gone. I shook my head as I looked at the lightly waving foliage she'd left in her wake. This little visit had been far more unsettling then I'd expected. If only Elisa hadn't gotten involved...and now Tanya wanted to meet Bella. That was bound to be an interesting encounter...and one I would have to endure sooner or later. Tanya was right - I couldn't avoid it forever.

_Edward._

It was Carlisle's voice that summoned me now, from the house ahead, and just the sound of it was enough to wake me up from my musings and bring me back to what this day really meant. For all around me now, excitement and anticipation filled the air with promise. Ahead, I could see guests taking their seats in front of the archway where we would say our vows, see the minister and Carlisle talking a few feet away, even as his eyes looked for me. Jasper and Emmett were walking down the front steps of the porch, and I could see they were looking for me as well.

Finally, it was time.

_**To be continued...**_

_**In the next chapter, the bridal party shares a timeless ritual with Bella...and at long last, the wedding.**_


	9. Dare You To Move

**Hello, and welcome to chapter nine of Evening Falls! This chapter is only Bella's POV, and is far shorter than my chapters usually are, but since it's her wedding day, I thought Bella deserved a chapter to herself. (Plus the rest isn't quite done and I'm impatient. :p )However, I will have another chapter up soon with Elisa and Edward's POVs, never fear! **

**A huge thank you again to everyone who has read and reviewed so far. Your encouragement and readership has meant so much to me and I am very much looking forward to moving on with the story. There is still a huge amount to come, and while I'm a bit anxious about Breaking Dawn and how it might affect your desire to read this story, I'm hoping that my tale is different enough to still keep you all interested. At the end of the chapter that I upload tonight, I will have a new story summary that will give you some hints as to what is to come!**

**Please keep the reviews coming - they are such an inspiration to me. **

_**Edit: So sorry that I didn't get the next chapter out last night...family stuff came up but it's almost ready...should be up late morning to early afternoon PST! Thanks again for reading.  
**_

_Everyone's here..  
Everybody's watching you now  
Everybody waits for you now  
What happens next  
What happens next  
I dare you to move..._

**'Dare You To Move'****, Switchfoot**_**  
**_

_Bella:_

Nice, soothing, blissful calm surrounded me as I sat there, perched on the stool in Alice's bedroom, waiting for the ceremony to begin. I had to admit that it wasn't exactly how I expected to feel at this point, just minutes before the biggest life-altering event of my life. I knew a great deal of my sudden inner peace was due to the conversation I'd just had with Edward, but I was started to suspect that Jasper had snuck up the stairs and unleashed some serious tranquility in my direction as well. At the moment, I was feeling too relaxed to mind.

I glanced at the others in the room. Jessica was still at the window, pointing out guests to a patiently listening Angela and regaling her with every bit of gossip she'd heard over the summer so far. On the other side of the room, Esme and Renee appeared to be bonding - they'd been deep in conversation for the last several minutes, only stopping to toss me fond looks every few seconds.

On the other hand, Alice, well... I smothered a chuckle as I watched her pace back and forth across the bedroom floor, her hands on her hips. She was muttering under her breath and casting annoyed glances at the door. It was almost amusing, in a way, getting to be the serene one now as she grew more and more tense. I really hoped that Rosalie and Elisa made an appearance soon though, because I suspected Alice's head might actually explode if they kept her waiting for much longer.

Just as head exploding seemed dangerously imminent, Alice suddenly stilled, looking at the door. A few seconds later it opened and Elisa appeared, shepherded inside by Rosalie.

"Sorry about the delay, Search and rescue took a little bit longer than I'd anticipated." It was hard to tell if Rosalie was joking or not...her words were playful but her face was tense. As soon as she realized I was looking though, she smoothed out her expresson and gave me a gleaming smile.

Elisa was greeting Esme and Renee now, murmuring apologies, and then she turned to look at me. I smiled at her. "We were starting to get worried, Elisa. What have you been doing all this time?"

I was surprised by the wariness that sprang into both Rosalie and Alice's eyes at what I thought was a fairly innocent question. Elisa's face was hesitant, almost torn, as if she were debating whether to reply or not. A glance from Alice seemed to decide the matter and she shrugged. "Nothing much. Just talking to a few people. I lost track of time."

I didn't believe that for a second, not with all the shifty looks the three of them were giving each other. They were definitely hiding something - you'd think Rosalie and Alice, at least, would be better at it after all the years of practice they had. I suppose I should have been concerned but it was funny how I just couldn't bring myself to care. Wow. Jasper was _awesome_. If he could bottle this effect, he'd be...well, even richer than he already was.

I giggled to myself as I took another sip from the glass of champagne Alice had pressed into my hand several minutes earlier, and then I stopped. Maybe it wasn't Jasper after all. Maybe the champagne was going to my head - I wasn't at all used to alcohol. I eyed the contents of the crystal goblet suspiciously, and then shrugged and took another swallow. I could definitely get used to euphoric, carefree me.

"Wow, check you out, Bella!" Elisa said now as she watched me. "I should be asking you what happened while I was gone. When I left you were...um...well, kind of a wreck. Now you're all..." she searched for the right word. "...glowy!"

This set me into another fit of giggles and Elisa gave me a strange look. "Glowy..." I snickered. "You're so cute, Elisa."

"Um...yeah." Elisa was eyeing the glass I'd set down on the dressing table, and then subtly, she eased herself between me and it. "Well, I'm glad to see you've gotten over the nerves. There was nothing to be scared of anyway."

"Well, you're braver than me, Bella." Jessica announced from the window before I could reply. "I'd be terrified if I were you. I mean, there must be like a hundred people here! Oh my gosh...is that the _mayor_?"

"Alice!" I choked, all my serenity instantly dissolving. "Tell me you didn't!"

Alice looked at a spot over my head, determinedly not meeting my eyes. "Well, I ran into her at the post office and it seemed rude not to..."

"And a hundred people??" I glared at her as Renee hurried over to put a soothing hand on my shoulder.

"Sixty-five!" Alice corrected, giving Jessica a dirty look. "Well, more or less." She smiled sweetly.

I forced myself to take several deep breaths, picturing Edward's face in my mind as I willed the calm to return. "That's fine...it's all fine." I mumbled. "I'm happy. I want to do this. I'm perfectly serene. I...I need more champagne." I reached for my glass but Alice snatched it away.

"Oh no, you don't." She chuckled. "You hold your liquor like a broken glass, and we need sober Bella at the altar." Darn it.

"Never mind all that now." Esme was next to me before I realized it. "Less than fifteen minutes to go now." She smiled brightly. "Renee, let me take you downstairs and get you and Phil seated."

My mother came over and hugged me tightly, tears already trembling at the corners of her lashes. "I'm so happy for you, Isabella. I will see you in a few minutes. Make me proud." She kissed my cheek and then they were gone.

"There's a few last minute traditions to observe." Alice informed me before I had time to spiral into an anxiety attack. I noticed now that Elisa, Angela, and Jessica were all holding boxes.

Nervously, I swallowed. "What's this?"

Alice smiled at Elisa, who walked forward, handing me a long, flat, black velvet jewelry case. "From Edward." She announced. "Your something old, to show that family and the past is never really forgotten."

With slightly trembling fingers, I opened the long case and then gasped at the sight inside. The antique, multi-strand pearl choker that met my gaze was absolutely beautiful. I traced the ivory cameo at the center in awe.

"Let me help you." Alice was beside me, lifting it out of the case and fastening it around my throat.

"This belonged to his mother too, didn't it?" I murmured as she adjusted it.

Alice nodded, smiling. "It's perfect with your dress." She stepped away from me and nodded to Angela.

"Next is something new to represent looking ahead, to new beginnings." Angela smiled, passing me a much smaller jewelry box. This one contained a simple but beautiful pair of teardrop pearl earrings to match the choker.

"Thank you." I told her as she helped me slip them into my ears, and then Rosalie stepped up to me.

"Something borrowed, not only a piece of jewelry but a piece of the happiness that Emmett and I share, to show you and Edward the way to find your own." With that, Rosalie slipped a brilliantly sparkling diamond bracelet off of her own wrist and onto mine.

I barely had time to stammer another thank you before a giggling Jessica was thrusting another box into my hand, this one small, white, and cardboard. "Something blue, for purity." She said, her voice amused as I lifted the lid. "Though I doubt you'll stay pure for long once Edward gets a load of that on your leg." I blushed as I looked down at the frilly silk blue garter nestled on the cotton. Edward wasn't really planning on hiking my skirt up in front of everyone and -

My thoughts were cut off as Alice, chuckling no doubt at the obvious direction of my thoughts, stepped forward. "The last traditional token for the bride to carry down the aisle is a 'sixpence for the shoe'. It represents prosperity and good fortune in your new life." She dimpled as she smiled at me.

"That's a nice thought." I said, relieved that Alice wasn't handing me any coins to stick in my already dangerous high heels. "It's a good thing we don't have any sixpences lying around though. I'm naturally inclined to fall already without anything sliding around in my shoes."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I know_ that_, Bella. That's why I had your shoes specially made."

My eyes widened as I looked down at my delicate, strappy heels. "You mean, it's already...?"

Alice smiled smugly. "Yes. There is a sixpence imbedded in the lining of your right shoe. There's no real need for either of you to worry about the prosperous part, but everyone can use a bit of good fortune, don't you think?"

"Wow." I admired her ingenuity as I wriggled my toes inside my shoe. "I can't even feel it. Thank you, Alice!"

"Ladies!" Esme had reappeared at the doorway. "It's time!"

I froze. Outside, I could hear the band begin to play, and my palms became moist. I could feel myself start to shake.

"It's alright, Bella." Alice whispered softly, putting a cool arm around my waist and walking me out the door. Behind us, Jessica and Elisa were chattering excitedly, and on the other side of me Angela gave my shoulder a reassuring pat.

"I know." I whispered back to Alice. "I'm fine. I _want_ to do this." Why, oh why, when I knew this was my choice, did that have to feel like a lie? Why did all my blazing insecurities and crippling shyness have to come raging back_ now_?

Before I was ready, we were downstairs in front of the French doors that led out to the patio. From there, it was just a short walk around the corner of the house to where the ceremony would be. Charlie was waiting for us, smiling nervously as he shifted back and forth. His eyes grew damp as he looked at me, just like they had earlier at the house when he'd first seen me in my wedding dress, and I felt my own eyes dew up in response.

Esme suddenly turned to me and clenched me in a tight embrace that left me mildly breathless. "My daughter." She breathed as she released me, her face emotional. With a final pat on my cheek, she hurried out the door to join the guests waiting for my appearance.

The music outside changed now, and my heart hammered wildly as Alice turned to Jessica, handing her one of the small bridesmaids' bouquets. "You're up!"

Jessica sent me a bright smile, tossed back her hair, and then sauntered out the door. In quick succession Angela, Elisa, and Rosalie were sent after her. Then Alice turned to Charlie, gave him a brief but heartfelt hug, and looked at me, beaming. "This is it, Bella!" her voice was nearly vibrating with excitement. "Thank you so much for going through with this. You won't regret it, I promise." I could only whimper in response. Alice ignored that as she picked up her own bouquet and with a few graceful, gliding steps, she was gone.

"Well, Bells." Charlie lifted his arm for me to take. "I guess we're next."

I didn't respond, nor did I take the offered arm. A loud voice, one sounded a lot like Alice, was shrieking inside my head for me to move, but I could not make my body obey. I was stricken with terror and it was a far different reason then I had imagined it would be. I was not afraid to marry Edward, not anymore. I was not frightened to walk out in front of all those people...well, alright, so I was, but that was an infinitessimally tiny fear compared to what was raging inside me now.

No, what was making me so rigid with fright was the sudden, heavy sense of loss I felt, the terror of letting go of my parents, my friends, of my_ humanity_. I knew this was coming, but I'd always pushed it to the back of my mind, letting it get lost in my desire to be with Edward for all of eternity, a decision that I still knew was the right one. Yet I had lived in denial too long, only allowing myself the briefest bit of lingering on what I was giving up. Now I had to face it..._right now_, this minute, because as soon as I took Charlie's arm and walked outside, there was no going back. It was too much to deal with. What if I wasn't strong enough to give it all up, to stand at Edward's side for all of eternity, watching the world change while we remained frozen in time forever? Could I really be a true Cullen? Did I have it in me? Or had everyone overestimated me? Had I overestimated myself?

"Bella?" Charlie's voice was anxious now. "Honey, your music's started. We've got to go."

"Dad..." I croaked out, feeling my eyes fill with tears. How I wanted to do it, how I wanted to be brave enough to take that first step, but strong Bella had left the building. In her place stood cowering, shaking Bella, too scared to even take a breath.

"You're holding everything up, you know."

Someone spoke from the doorway and I froze into place as the voice penetrated my brain. I knew it instantly, its every resonance, the light teasing tone that I never thought I'd hear again, and yet I could not bring myself to believe it was really him. He couldn't be here, safe, whole, _smiling_, on my wedding day. I was just having some enormously vivid wish fulfillment fantasy.

It was the stunned expression on Charlie's face that made me realize I wasn't dreaming, that forced me to raise my disbelieving eyes to the doorway.

Jacob was standing there, his massive frame filling the doorway that led to the lawn, and blocking out the light from the cloudy sky overhead. I couldn't speak; couldn't make a sound. Distantly, I was aware of Charlie mumbling something and then leaving the room. For an endless second we merely stood there, staring at each other. I took in every detail of his appearance, from the neat black slacks and suit jacket he wore over a casual white shirt to the new length of his hair. I t was trimmed neatly, far shorter than when I'd last seen him, just long enough to barely reach past his ears.

Then I took in his face, frowning slightly as I saw how prominent his cheekbones were. He hadn't been taking care of himself. And yet, unbelievably, his full lips were curled into a smile as he gazed back at me. Not the bitter smirk of the boy/man forced into a secret life he wanted no part of, but the genuine sunshine smile of _my_ Jacob. His eyes, they were sparkling too, crinkled into laugh lines as he took in my astonishment.

"Cat got your tongue, Bella? Can't even say hello?" He grinned.

"Uh..." I could only sputter for a moment and then deep, joyous relief finally loosened my tongue and the words spilled out. "Jacob! Where have you been? Are you OK? How could you just take off like that? Do you have any idea how worried I was when I heard? And Billy - "

"Bella." His smooth voice interrupted and I was instantly silent. "Look, I'd love to play Twenty Questions all day with you, but there's a whole crowd out there waiting for you to make an appearance. Plus I imagine the groom is getting just a bit nervous by this point." I could tell by the sudden mischievous touch to his grin that he was enjoying the idea of Edward sweating it out at the altar, waiting for me.

"But Jacob - " I couldn't just leave it at that, shrug my shoulders at his miraculous reappearance, and then trot blithely down the aisle.

"Bella, the only thing you need to know is that I'm alright." Jacob's face was serious for a moment. "That's why I'm here. I knew you wouldn't believe it until you saw me for yourself. And now you do. I am alright, and I'm going to keep being that way. I'm sorry that I left, and that I worried anyone, but it was just something I needed to do. But I'm here now, for you. I didn't want to miss your big day."

The tears nearly overflowed then, and it took a gigantic effort to hold them back. I sniffed loudly, and Jacob sighed. "We can talk afterward. You've got to get moving." He picked up my bouquet from the table, and I suddenly became aware that _'Here Comes the Bride' _was still playing, but slower now, a little discordant, as if some of the musicians had stopped and others were wondering to continue. My heart nearly stopped and then began to hammer wildly as I remembered once more what I was facing and I stared frantically into Jacob's face.

He surveyed me and my clear terror for a moment. "But hey, if you want to back out, I can hotwire a car and have us on the freeway in ten minutes. What do you say?" His grin was positively wicked now.

I stared at him for a moment, and then simultaneously, we both began to laugh. For a moment that was the only sound in the room, and as our chuckles mingled together I felt myself go nearly weak with relief.

"But you're sure, aren't you? I mean, despite the fact that your knees are knocking together." Jake's smile was gentle now. "This is really what you want, isn't it?"

I paused and took a deep breath, then nodded. "Yes." I prayed that it wouldn't hurt him again, that simple word. "It's more than that. It's what I need. I'm just a little...well, a_ lot _terrified."

"It's OK to be scared. But you've made your choice, Bella. Now it's time to follow through." His voice was still kind - too kind. Jacob was moving across the room as he spoke, opening the door and speaking to summon Charlie back in. My father came, hesitantly at first, and then as he saw my luminescent expression and the smile on Jacob's face, his own face visibly relaxed. Charlie came to stand next to me, and automatically, I took his arm, still staring, wide-eyed, at Jacob. Why should he be so mature, so understanding? Why wasn't he tearing me apart with his words, or with the pain I knew I must still be causing him? I didn't deserve his friendship, his forgiveness, his acceptance, and yet he was here, holding it out to me. It was too much, for him to take the burden off my shoulders and add it to his own, and yet suddenly I felt so light...so _free_.

"You ready, Bells?" Charlie was asking me now.

I looked once more at Jacob, for courage, and he nodded at me. "Just put one foot in front of another. Oh, and try not to fall down." His lips quirked and then once again, his face became serious. "You're a beautiful bride. Be happy, Bella. You deserve that."

"Thank you, Jacob. Thank you _so_ much." My voice was hoarse and then we were moving towards the door. The panic was warring with anticipation now, but Alice must have seen that I was coming because suddenly the band began full force again and I could almost hear the crowd shift and turn their heads to the end of the aisle where I would be appearing at any second. I turned to give Jacob a pleading look and he nodded in answer to my unspoken question.

"I'll be here, Bella. Right out front. Go on now."

With that, with the strength I'd borrowed from Jacob giving me momentum, Charlie and I stepped through the glass door, onto the lawn, and turned towards my destiny, towards my choice, towards my new life.

And with each step I took, I said goodbye.

Goodbye to Charlie, my father. The man who was silent, but strong, the father I'd barely known until I was seventeen, and yet I had come to rely on him so much, and never once had he let me down.

Goodbye to Renee, my erstwhile, scattered brained mother, the one who taught me to love and laugh and to care for others. To not only expect the unexpected, but embrace it.

Goodbye to Jacob, my sun, my shelter from the storm, my safe haven, who taught me that love comes in so many different forms and can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

Goodbye to Angela, my true, faithful friend. I'd learned my lesson well from her...kind, loving souls like Angela were rare and should be treasured, not neglected or taken for granted. I would never forget that again.

Goodbye to the rest of them, Jessica, Mike, Ben, Eric, Lauren... and so many other people who all had their effect on me, some more so than others, but each had left a mark and a memory that I would treasure. Each had their own small part in my fate, in shaping the person who would walk before them today and I was suddenly so grateful to them all, to everyone that was waiting for me, that my throat closed and my eyes became misty. I wished I could tell them. I wished I could have been more for them what they were for me. Most of all, I wished for the best for them, that one day, each and every single one of them would get to be as scared, uncertain, terrified, and most of all, as gloriously happy as I was right now. Everyone should have a day like this.

Most of all, goodbye to me, Bella from Phoenix, Bella of Forks, human, clumsy, insecure Bella Swan. I'd learned all I could from the me I was right then. Now I was choosing to let her go, to metamorphasis, not just into a vampire, but into an adult, a lover, a fighter, and a wife. Everything was going to change. I wondered what this new Bella would be like. I hoped that I could be proud of her. I hoped that she would be someone who deserved to be as lucky as I knew I was.

And then we were turning, my father patting my hand nervously as we appeared around the corner of the house and the crowded mass of seats in front of the floral archway came into view. I heard the collective intake of breath, the whispers, and vaguely I registered every head turning in my direction. I didn't care. There was only one face in my vision and I smiled as Edward's eyes locked on to me.

The time for goodbyes was past now. My future was waiting, and on steady legs and with a soaring heart, I walked forward to meet it.


	10. The Bitter and the Sweet

**Ack, I'm so sorry this is late again! I'm terrible at deadlines...I always end up writing so much more than I planned on. I hope you all forgive me and from now on, if I set a specific time for the next chapter to be out, feel free to reach through the computer monitor and smack some sense into me. **

**I haven't replied to any of my reviews yet because I've been too busy writing (and then scrapping what I wrote and rewriting :p ). but as always, tha;nks again for the fabulous feedback I've received so far. It's very much appreciated!**

**And who else is totally excited that Breaking Dawn is going to be out in about two days? Even my tiny little podunk town is having a BD Release party...yeehaw!**

**Anyway, without further ado...Chapter Ten.**

_Edward:_

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people  
Nothing to do, nothing to lose  
And it's you and me and all of the people and  
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you  
_

_'You And Me' Lifehouse_

I looked calm, I was certain, standing there under the ridiculously floral archway, trying to preserve my dignity even as a couple of stray pink petals floated downward to land on my head. I kept my expression pleasant, implacable, giving no hint to the storm raging inside as I awaited my bride. The crowd was beginning to murmur restlessly, shooting each other looks, some twisting in their seats to peer in the direction where Bella should be appearing.

I looked at Alice, standing there in her pink maid of honor gown, a bit tighter and lower cut than the other bridesmaids' dresses. My sister flashed me what was meant to be a comforting smile. _Everything is fine, Edward. Bella is coming. I know she is._

Actually, she didn't. My jaw tightened in acknowledgement of that fact. For there was no reassuring imagery to accompany her words, just a blank space where Bella and her future should be. Because she was with _him_.

It was both easy and excruciating to not search out Jacob Black's thoughts. Easy, because of the crowd around us, their chaotic, internal monologues clogging up all my mental highways and giving me the closest thing to a headache that a vampire could possibly experience. Excruciating, to not allow myself to search for him and through him, Bella, because as much as I knew they deserved privacy I was absolutely frantic to know what Jacob could possibly be saying to her that was keeping her from coming to me at this vital moment.

Alice was frowning at me now, obviously guessing the direction of my thoughts. _Stop it, Edward. You need to have more faith in Bella than that._

For a moment I frowned, and then a sense of peace washed over me, courtesy of Jasper. I sent him a thankful look. It was far easier to think clearly now and I knew Alice was right - I was being ridiculous. I thought back to the conversation I'd had with Bella less than an hour ago and felt deeply ashamed of my fleeting doubts. She had suffered so much and stayed at my side, unwavering through it all. Even when I left her, she'd still been mine. Nothing could break the bond between us now. I'd waited a lifetime for her...I could wait a few more minutes. With a genuine smile, I nodded at the bandleader and he raised a hand, signalling to his flagging bandmates to begin playing in earnest once more.

My faith was almost instantly rewarded. Around the corner, Charlie and Bella appeared. The rest of the world fell away as I stared at her. There could not be a more beautiful creature in existence, and she was _mine. _Forever.

Bella stared right back and I marvelled at the directness of her gaze, the smile on her face, the sureness of her steps. This was not the nervous girl who had shuffled self-consciously through our wedding rehearsal just last night. I shouldn't have been surprised though. That was my Bella, with the appearance of a lamb, yet the heart of a lion - she may quail at the small steps but when it came time to jump the ravines she was pure courage through and through.

And then she was before me, and I could not tear my eyes away from her as the minister's voice boomed out. "Who gives this woman's hand in marriage?"

"I do." Charlie's response, much like Bella, was surprisingly sure.

Words blended into one another for the next few minutes. I was aware of nothing but Bella, of her eyes looking so forcefully back into mine, of her full lips repeating our vows, of the warm touch of her fingers as she slid the ring onto my finger, and I did the same for her. This was beyond bliss, beyond heaven...it was so much more than I could have ever hoped for or deserve. Too soon, and yet not soon enough, the minister's voice rang out. "I now pronounce you man and wife...you may kiss your bride!"

How could I put into words the sensations that coursed through me, the emotion I felt, when I pulled back Bella's veil and took her face in my hands?. It was beyond me, it transcended me, the way I felt when our lips met. I pulled her as tightly to me as I dared without hurting her and kissed her warm lips until I dimly became aware that the cheers of the crowd were turning into hoots and laughter. I pulled back and Bella was blushing, but her eyes sparkled at me.

"I love you, Isabella Cullen." I murmured, my lips against her hair.

**--**

Too soon, the moment was interrupted, although that itself brought its own kind of joy. Our loved ones were gathering around us now, offering congratulations and hugs. Bella's mother was crying so hard I could not understand the garbled words she spoke to me, but I must have responded appropriately regardless because she smiled at me warmly before moving on to her daughter.

Then Carlisle and Esme were before me. Neither of my parents said much as they embraced me, overcome by emotion, but their jubilant congratulations were quite clear to me. They, too, moved on to Bella, and then Elisa was there, hugging me happily. "Congratulations, Edward!" She chirped, her face still pink and shiny from recent tears, though it was clear they'd been happy ones. "It was such a beautiful ceremony, and I am so happy for you guys..." She sniffled again and wiped her eyes.

"Thank you, Elisa, for all the work you put into this." I told her, smiling.

Elisa shrugged. " I think I got in Alice's way more than anything, but you're welcome." She grinned, and then her eyes slid sideways to Bella, who was still pre-occupied by well-wishers and then back to me. For a moment she looked just the slightest bit troubled.

_Hey Edward, are we keeping the little visit from your vamp tramp a secret? Because it's not like __**I**__ want to tell Bella but the whole secret thing hasn't really worked out too well for you so far..._

I breathed out heavily, but nothing could really put a damper on my euphoria, even the thought of discussing Tanya's visit with my new bride. "Don't worry, Elisa." I told her as quietly as I could and allow her to still hear me. "I'll tell her myself...soon."

Elisa smiled at me, looking relieved. Then she bounced over to speak to Bella and I found myself face to face with a beaming Alice.

"It's about time." Alice's voice was absolutely gleeful as she embraced me. I returned the gesture whole-heartedly and then Alice stepped back. "One big day down, one to go." She informed me, her eyes sparkling. The image appeared almost immediately - one that had first unsettled me like almost nothing else in my whole existence, yet one I recognized well by now, having seen it dozens of times over the last two years. It was my Bella, her skin alabaster, eyes golden, smiling. As always, her face was the only clear thing in the vision, the rest of it murky and obscure, the circumstances apparently not decided on yet. The image shimmered before us for a moment, then faded, and I sighed.

Alice made a small face at the sound of my exhaled breath. "You _will_ do it, Edward. Soon. We can't risk losing her again because of your foolish stubbornness."

"We won't _ever_ lose her again, Alice." I knew she understood the promise behind my words.

She looked at me for a long moment, then smiled. "Thank you." My sister turned to go to Bella, then tossed me a glance over her shoulder. "Oh, and Edward...enjoy the storm."

"What?" I asked, bewildered, but Alice would not let me see the meaning behind her words and it was too late to stop her, she and Bella were already deep in conversation.

The next twenty minutes or so were much of the same...it seemed every single person at the wedding felt the need to congratulate us personally. Bella was the epitome of graciousness as she returned their heartfelt words with smiles and sincere thanks. I, on the other hand, was beginning to feel distinctly impatient as the seemingly never-ending stream of guests barely allowed us to even look at each other. Finally the herd began to thin, people beginning to make their way across the lawn to the tables or to the dance floor where the band was re-grouping and the DJ was setting up. I sighed in relief as I reached out to draw Bella close to my side.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, her voice all innocence as she pressed herself into me, reaching up to caress my face.

"Too. Many. People." I growled back as I tried not to give into the urge to make like a caveman and drag her upstairs. Her gentle touch was maddening. "How much longer is this going to go on for?"

Bella was laughing now, obviously enjoying my impatience. "Hours. The servers haven't even brought out the food yet."

I groaned loudly. "This is all your fault." I informed her. "If you'd just let me run off with you, we'd be completely alone right now."

"Edward!" Bella gasped indignantly but her voice still held laughter.

I sobered. "Bella, thank you for going through with this. You don't know what it means to me...to everyone here."

"To me, too." She whispered back. Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her lips against mine and I allowed myself to get lost in her for just a moment, glorying in the fact that she was mine, my _wife_, until the end of time. Her arms wound around my neck and it was only with a Herculean effort that I was able to pull away from her. We sighed at the same time, and then laughed. I reached for her hand, winding her fingers with mine, and we were both silent, just enjoying each other.

Bella tensed suddenly beside me, her expression both pleased and apprehensive, and I saw the reason immediately. Jacob was coming out of the crowd towards us, his demeanor deceptively relaxed. I eyed him cautiously as he stepped up to Bella first.

"Congratulations." He told her softly, his voice pleasant, a wide contrast to his volcanic thoughts.

"Thank you, Jacob. It means so much that you came." Bella's voice trembled just slightly.

"Yes." I said quietly. "It does." I could hear the memory in his thoughts now, what he had said to Bella before the ceremony, and I felt a rush of genuine amazement. He had put everything that he'd ever wanted for himself aside to make sure that she could have this day, this future, with me, that she could leave him behind without regrets. It was an extraordinarily unselfish gift.

Jacob kept his smile firmly in place as he turned, and Bella looked shocked as he extended a hand to me. For his sake as much as hers, I went along with the pretense, clasping hands with him even as his vehement thoughts hissed their way into my head. My gratitude towards him for everything he had done for Bella was never-ending. I could take whatever hostility he was slinging my way happily in return.

Even as I thought that, Jacob was clearly misinterpreting my expression. _I don't want your pity, bloodsucker. Just keep her safe. _I nodded my head as if in response to the blatantly insincere congratulations he was now speaking to me, knowing he would understand.

_I mean it. If anything happens to her - if those Volturi leeches get her or if you lose control and kill her yourself, do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you?_

I raised an eyebrow slightly as I waited for the inevitable death threats, but Jacob was not content with that. His smile was wider now as he engaged us in menial small talk, all the while lobbying mental fireballs at me.

_Oh, I'm not going to __kill__ you. The opposite, actually. If Bella dies because of you, I won't let you cop out of the guilt by offing yourself. Instead, I'll become your new best friend, on you like white on rice 24/7. I'll devote my entire existence to keeping you alive, making sure you suffer through every single second of eternity without her. Hell, I'll move into your house if I have to. It will be you and me, together forever, Edward. A fate worse than death, punishment more terrible than anything that hell can dish out. That incentive enough for you?_

I couldn't help the genuine shudder of horror that rippled through me at that, and Jacob smirked. Bella looked back and forth between us, her eyes becoming a bit concerned. Jacob noticed her expression and fixed a more sincere smile on his face, but he was stepping back from us now and I could hear that he had endured all that he could. "Look, Bells, I'm sorry but I've really got to get going."

"Oh." Bella's face fell slightly. "You don't want to stay for the reception?"

Jacob's thoughts clearly revealed that he'd rather having flaming hot coals pressed against his eyeballs, but his expression showed no hint of his inner turmoil and I marvelled at his self-control. "Naw. I've been gone long enough - got a lot of people back at the rez that I gotta catch up with." He shrugged.

"Of course." Bella murmured softly, and I knew that she also realized how hard it would be for Jacob to stay and have to watch us celebrate our union. She reached for his hand, and squeezed it lightly. "Thank you again, Jacob. I am - " She took a deep breath and I stepped back to give them a little privacy. "I'm really going to miss you."

"Me too." Jacob's voice was hushed now, a bit of the mask slipping.

Bella's eyes filled with tears. "Jacob - " She began.

"Please, just don't." His voice was a low whisper now. For a moment they were both silent, then he smiled again. "Goodbye, Bella."

"Goodbye, Jacob." Bella's tears were threatening to overflow now, and I ached for her, knowing this was just the first farewell of many.

He tossed me a final glance but only spoke to me in his head. _Remember what I said. _

I grimaced. How could I ever forget? If I'd still had the ability to dream, his little speech would give me nightmares.

Bella leaned into me as we watched Jacob walk away. He did not look back. Bella took a deep, shaky breath and I looked down at her in concern. To my surprise, she smiled at me. "Don't worry about me, Edward. Of course I'm sad butI had to let him go a long time ago. I'm just so glad to know that he is going to be alright."

I had doubts about that myself, but it would have been cruel to voice them, so I just held her close and stroked her hair as we both watched Jacob weave his way through the crowd. I was waiting for him to make a discreet break for the forest, but suddenly he caught sight of someone and veered left. Bella noticed too, and then I saw her eyes widen as she saw who he was heading for - Elisa. We both saw him touch her lightly on the arm to get her attention. Elisa turned around, and when she saw who it was she squealed lightly and then launched herself at him with her usual lack of restraint, hugging him. He looked taken aback for a moment, but pleased as he hugged her back.

Bella gasped. "Jacob - and Elisa...they've met? When? Where was I?" I didn't need to answer - I could almost see the wheels turning rapidly in her head. "Before the wedding - that's why no one could find her!" She gave a startled laugh. "Wow...they seem like they know each other rather well for such a short acquaintance."

"Elisa seems to have that effect on people, I've noticed." I kept my tone deliberately casual but I was gauging every nuance of Bella's reaction to what she was seeing.

She studied them for a moment, and then gasped lightly, turning to me. "They didn't...I mean, Jacob didn't...you know, with Elisa, or on Elisa or however it - " Bella stopped speaking as I shook my head. "Oh." She sighed. "That's too bad."

I lifted my brows in mild surprise at her words. She looked genuinely disappointed, but then she took in my expression and chuckled. "It's just that someone like Elisa would be good for him. Someone good-hearted, who could take care of him and make him laugh again..." Bella looked back at them, and Jacob _was_ laughing now at something Elisa was saying. "See?"

I didn't say anything to that, but there must have been some imperceptible darkening on my face because Bella laughed. "Something tells me you don't love that idea, of the two of them. Why? Because it's Jacob? Or - "

"It's not that I don't wish Jacob well. I do, more than I can express, actually. I truly hope that he finds the one that's out there for him - he deserves to be happy. But Elisa is..." I wasn't sure how to phrase it correctly. "Too young. Besides, she's leaving." I finished, knowing how weak that would sound, but I didn't want to tell Bella what I really meant. I could tell by his attitude that Jacob was not exactly immune to Elisa; she was having some kind of effect on him, but the majority of it was lost in his longing for what he could not have. Bella was the one on his mind and in his heart, and Elisa deserved better than to be someone's second choice.

Bella sighed again. "I'm having a fantasy here, Edward, and you're wrecking it. It would be so perfect, if she could be the one...we'd all be family, all the resentment and heartache over with. Happily ever after. Why isn't real life ever that easy?"

"That wouldn't bother you though?" I couldn't help but ask.

Bella moved closer to me, taking my left hand in hers, linking our fingers together and idly tracing our rings. "Honestly?" She gave a deliberate pause and then smiled directly at me. "No. Not anymore."

Elisa had noticed us watching her by now, and she looked self-conscious. Jacob looked up too, following her gaze, and his expression cooled. He gave us a small wave and then took Elisa by the arm, steering her around the corner of the house and out of our sight. Bella watched them go and then shook her head slightly. "I suppose we should go mingle - "

"Hello, newlyweds." Rosalie was suddenly in front of us and I realized she had been one of the few to not speak to us right after the ceremony. "Congratulations. Welcome to the family, Bella." There was no mistaking the sincerity of her words and I smiled at her in appreciation. Bella looked touched as well as Rosalie reached out to squeeze her hands.

Rosalie then turned to me, deciding to get right to the point. "I didn't get you a wedding present." She announced, her teeth gleaming as she smiled at us.

Bella laughed. "That's alright, Rosalie. We didn't want any, remember?"

Rosalie just raised a perfect eyebrow and I sucked in an admiring breath as I saw the image in her mind. Her smile widened into a pleased grin as she saw the impressed look on my face. _"Niiice." _I told her, figuring she genuinely deserved the praise. Impressive that she'd managed to hide this from me.

"What am I missing here?" Bella looked confused.

"Rosalie is saying she didn't get _me_ a present." I explained to her. "She did, however, get you one."

"Of course I didn't get _you_ a wedding gift, Edward." Rosalie rolled her eyes, ignoring Bella's now dismayed expression as she turned to her. "Do you have any idea how wholly unsatisfying he is to shop for? Every year at Christmas it's the same thing. He either reads my mind to find out what I'm getting him, or he asks Alice to tell him and since he's her favorite, she always does. Then he always manages to find some way to exchange it for whatever he really wanted before I ever even get it under the tree. Going through that once a year is enough."

"Edward, that's awful!" Bella frowned at me now, temporarily distracted from the subject of her gift.

I just shrugged, still smiling. There was no real point in telling Bella that Rosalie, on the other hand, let me put in weeks of effort into her presents only to loudly insult them in front of everyone on Christmas morning, and then make the biggest show of exchanging them that she could. Rampant insensitivity seemed to be a trait that defined our relationship, from the earliest days when we had instantly disliked each other until now, even though we had grown to genuinely love each other as family. Oddly enough, it had become strangely entertaining over the years, a constant competition to see who could be the most obnoxious. It was the one thing I rarely beat her at.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Rosalie was asking now. "Let's go check it out."

Bella gave me a wide-eyed look that turned into alarm as Rosalie and I turned towards the garage, realizing exactly what type of present Rosalie had gotten her. Whatever protest she was about to make, however, dried up when Rosalie reached out and took her arm, linking them together as casually as if they'd always strolled around like the best of friends. Bella looked absolutely stunned, but Rosalie chose to ignore this as we walked quickly to the garage.

Bella held her dress up tentatively as we stepped onto the dusty concrete inside the outbuilding, and Rosalie flipped on the light. The building was far emptier than it usually was. Over the past few weeks, my family members had taken turns driving vehicles and irreplaceable possesions to our new home in Newfoundland. The only vehicles that remained were the Volvo, which I still hadn't decided what to do with, the Aston Martin that I had planned on driving to Canada with Bella, a new van that Carlisle had purchased just for the trip, and the Porsche that Alice and Jasper would be driving. And there was one more vehicle, hidden carefully under a tarp. Rosalie strode over to it and with the grace of a supermodel whisked the tarp off. "Surprise!"

Bella's jaw dropped. After a moment of staring, she hurried over to Rosalie's side. "It's...it's...gorgeous! What kind of - "

Rosalie laughed, clearly pleased with Bellas's reaction. "It is a '67 Mustang, fully restored, brand new V8 engine and more. Since you were so fond of that rusty truck of yours, I figured you might have a taste for the classics."

"I do!" Bella's eyes were still wide with amazement as she walked the length of her new car, trailing her fingers over the glossy black paint job and eyeing the red leather interior. "I mean, I didn't even know I did, but I totally, completely _love_ it! "

Even I had to admit that the car was perfect for Bella. It had not only that vintage feel, but just a hint of the danger she seemed so fond of. I sighed resignedly as Rosalie grinned at me. "It's so much better than that pretentious, overpriced piece of machinery that Edward wanted to get for you." She informed Bella smugly.

Bella was too absorbed in her new car to answer. I shrugged at Rosalie. "Perhaps." I admitted. "But it's not nearly as safe. Maybe you can drive it to Canada and put it away until - " I didn't get to finish that sentence...Bella straightened up and both she and Rosalie shot daggers at me with their eyes.

"No way." Bella announced firmly. "The Mustang is staying right here until _I_ drive it to Canada. I can't wait to try it out!"

"Bella - " I started to protest but Rosalie kicked me lightly.

"Stop being such an overprotective ninny, Edward." She scowled at me. _I can't believe it, but I'm almost looking forward to the day that you'll no longer have an excuse to wring your hands over fragile little Bella every second. _Her thoughts informed me icily.

"I can see how this is going to work. You're going to side with Bella from now on every time we have a disagreement, aren't you? Traitor." I muttered. Now that Rosalie had absconded to Team Bella, it was clear to me that I had no hope of _ever_ winning another argument.

"That's what sisters are for." Rosalie responded, still smug.

"Thank you, Rosalie." Bella was beaming at her now, and we all realized her thanks wasn't just for the car.

At that moment the garage door re-opened and Emmett came in, followed by several of our guests, all men, whose eyes lit up at the sights before them. "Rose." Emmett smiled at her. "I thought I saw you headed this way and these guys were all excited to see what you've been working on in here."

Rosalie brightened as she and Emmett led the others over to the Mustang and began to talk mechanics. It was something she and Emmett both enjoyed, shining the spotlight on her and her considerable talent, and rubbing it just a bit that not only was she shockingly beautiful but had a gift for cars that most professional mechanics would sell their souls for. Every single one of those men would leave knowing he had just met the perfect woman, and that he had no chance of ever obtaining her, and I could tell by Emmett's roguish grin that he would enjoy that too.

Leaving the two of them to it, I took Bella's hand and we walked back out into the day. For a moment, we were quiet as we strolled back onto the lawn hand in hand, and then I looked down at her. "How are you enjoying married life so far, Mrs. Cullen?"

Bella rolled her eyes, but then a wicked smile curved her lips. "Why don't you ask me...tomorrow?" Her voice was all suggestive sweetness and I could only stare, mouth agape as I tried to reconcile the fire she'd once again stoked inside of me. "You are diabolical." I breathed, and she chuckled.

The intrusion of the mundane came to my rescue once again. My attention was diverted this time by the stormy thoughts of my brother Jasper, and I turned to see him leaning against a nearby tree, oblivious to our presence. He was glowering across the grounds at Elisa, who had returned from her stroll with Jacob and was standing next to Jessica, talking with a group of our old high school classmates.

Bella followed the direction of my gaze. "What's wrong with Jasper? Why is he staring at Elisa like that?"

I noticed the hint of defensiveness in her voice - it was beginning to grate on all of us, Jasper's unchecked hostility towards our newest family member. Even as we watched, Alice made her way over to Jasper, taking his hand and whispering in his ear. It took a moment but he finally relaxed, though he shot Elisa one last cold glance before walking off with Alice.

A nudge from Bella reminded me that she was still waiting for an answere. I considered my words carefully - it looked like an uncomfortable subject was about to come up sooner than I had planned on. "Something happened earlier. Jacob wasn't our only unexpected visitor. Someone else showed up as well...Tanya."

"Tanya." Bella repeated, her voice flat. She turned her head and began scanning the guests, her expression wary.

"She didn't stay." I answered her unspoken question. "Tanya wasn't here to attend the wedding."

"Then why was she here, Edward?" Bella's voice was just a little too controlled. She waited for a moment. "That's what I thought." Unexpectedly, she laughed. "I suppose I can't blame the girl for trying."

"I can." I muttered. "And she's not exactly a girl, either."

Bella looked confused now. "I don't understand, though. What does this have to do with Elisa and Jasper?"

I rubbed my forehead. "Elisa ran into Tanya as well." I explained. "When she realized why Tanya was here...well, let's just say our young champion was displeased. And not afraid to be vocal about it."

Bella stared. "Edward, tell me she didn't make a scene."

I chuckled. "You do realize this is Elisa we are talking about here, right?"

Bella laughed, but then bit her lip. "She's got to stop doing that! I admit, I actually do admire her ability to..." She struggled for the right words.

"To say anything to anyone, no matter how inappropriate?" I guessed and Bella nodded.

"Yes! Sometimes I wish I had her guts, but if she isn't more careful she'll end up getting herself into big trouble one of these days. Her world is different now - Elisa can't go on acting the way she used to without realizing the consequences have changed. Edward, you've got to talk to her."

"Rosalie already did." I told her. "And..." I paused for a moment, looking across the grounds again. Jasper and Alice were deep in conversation with a concerned looking Carlisle and Esme now. I listened for a few seconds before I spoke again. "Carlisle is going to speak to her too."

Bella nodded. "That's good. But I think you have a lot of influence on her...are you sure you shouldn't speak to her as well?"

"I don't know if I could keep a straight face during that conversation." I admitted ruefully. "The whole scenario was rather amusing, actually."

Bella was grinning now too. "I'll probably end up thanking her at some point myself." She admitted. "OK, but I still don't understand what this has to do with Jasper. He's upset that she insulted Tanya?"

I shook my head. "No...it's more complicated than that. Jasper feels that - "

At that moment, a voice boomed across the grounds, making us both jump slightly. The DJ had turned on his microphone, and belatedly we realized that nearly everyone was surrounding the dance area. Bella blanched...she knew what was coming.

"Well, folks, we're going to open the floor with a special song for our newlyweds. Will the bride and groom please come on down? It's time for your first dance!"

Bella moaned as all eyes turned, searching and then finding us, eager voices beckoning us forward. I laughed as I raised her hand to my face, pressing a kiss into her palm, and then pulling her with me, everything else forgotten.

_**Elisa:**_

_You can't make the snow fall in summer  
Or make him not want her  
And not leave you behind  
Maybe he'll stay in touch years down the road  
And hope that he's still on your mind  
The sun may come up and go down again  
I'll still swear it's a beautiful life  
_

_'__Beautiful Life', Charlotte Martin__  
_

Tears had always come easily to me, and the second I saw Bella come around the corner of the house on her father's arm they flowed as freely as if someone had reached into my head and turned on a faucet. I cried harder when Chief Swan handed her off, and she and Edward were facing each other in front of the minister. The way that they stared at each other as they stood underneath the archway...it was like watching Romeo and Juliet come to life without the depressing family feud and suicide crap mucking it all up.

What really opened the floodgates for me though was the sight of Jacob Black, coming from seemingly nowhere, slipping into a seat next to his shocked looking father. As if he felt me staring, he looked directly at me and smiled faintly. I knew then that he had done it. He'd come here for Bella, and he'd set her free. My heart swelled with emotion and from that point on I pretty much had absolutely no chance of regaining my composure during the ceremony.

At least I wasn't the only overly emotional person around - I could see Renee in the front row, sobbing with her head on her husband's shoulder and next to them, Esme was wiping her eyes with such an emotional face that you'd have to really stare in order to see that she wasn't actually shedding any tears. Several other sentimental souls were looking rather misty eyed as well. Mrs. Haversham, who was much further back, was the loudest crier of all, bawling and blowing her nose so loudly that people seated near her were giving her dirty looks. Beside me, Jessica had begun to sniffle as well. Angela made a valiant effort to keep a calm face, but after a few minutes of watching us succumb to near hysteria she started tearing up too.

After the ceremony was over and we'd congratulated the newlyweds, the three of us practically raced to the bathroom where we fought for space in front of the mirror and took turns fixing each others smeared makeup. When I came back from the restroom, the first person I noticed was Jacob again, talking to Bella and Edward. He was smiling, but I couldn't but notice the darkness of his eyes and the rigid set of his shoulders. I had to fight against the urge to go rescue him and I sighed at the sheer stupidity of that impulse. First I practically beg him to come to the wedding and sacrifice himself for Bella's happiness and then, when he actually goes through with it I want to save him from all the pain I'd known it would cause him. Hello capriciousness, thy name is Elisa.

Trying to distract myself, I began to wander across the grounds. I saw Jessica standing with a group of people I didn't know, waving me over, and I was about to walk over and join them when I felt a heated touch on my arm. I turned around and Jacob was standing there, smiling at me.

Happy that he'd sought me out and especially that he didn't seem to blame me for the ordeal he'd just been through, I didn't think before I threw my arms around him. "Jacob! You came back!" He looked surprised at my overly exuberant greeting and briefly I wondered if I should be embarrassed by my own impulsiveness, but quickly decided I didn't care. I had thought we'd said goodbye forever and now here he was again - why get hung up over the details?

We pulled apart and for just a few seconds, awkward silence reigned until I spoke again. "You did it, didn't you?" I didn't need confirmation for what I already knew. "You are so totally my hero." I giggled at the look on his face when I said that. "You look different. Who cut your hair?"

Jacob's lips quirked. "Emily. She was pretty much the only person at home who understood why I had to come back. Well, Seth was on my side too but Leah was still out-shouting him when I left." He sighed. "I wanted to thank you, Elisa, for saying what I needed to hear earlier. It really made a difference."

I smiled. "Even I'm bound to get something right every once in a while."

Jaccob wrinkled his nose at me. "Somehow, Elisa, I really doubt this is the first time you've managed to say exactly the right thing at the right time."

I shrugged. Might as well let him go on thinking that - since I wasn't going to see him after today there was no real need to clue him in on how generally inept I really was. I let my gaze trail up and down his long frame, observing all the details that had changed in just the short time since I'd last seen him. He looked so different from the person I'd met in the woods earlier today, almost too civilized in a way, but his eyes - they frightened me a little. There was a deadness in them that was alarming, like some part of him had just given up. I decided not to think about that too much. Let it just be for today, was all I could hope. Maybe tomorrow would be better for him.

Jacob frowned a little as my eyes traveled over him. "Something wrong?"

"No." I smiled as I let my eyes make the circuit once more. "I'm just checking you out. You clean up really well, do you know that?" I watched with amusement as his skin turned copper colored like it had earlier in the forest. "Are you blushing? _Again? _Do you know I've never been able to make a guy do that before?"

Jacob laughed now, and a bit of life sprang back into his gaze, much to my relief. He surveyed me with dancing black eyes for a moment, but slowly, the light faded and my heart sank just a little. Something seemed to catch his attention and he looked up. I did as well to see Bella and Edward standing several yards away. To my surprise, they were both staring at us, and I flushed slightly, wondering if Bella had seen me practically throwing myself at her sort of ex. That was going to make for an awkward conversation later.

Jacob seemed to not want to be in their line of vision either. He took my arm. "Let's go this way." It wasn't really a suggestion - he was already leading me around the corner of the house, towards the forest where we'd first met. For a moment we walked in silence, then he stopped just short of the treeline. "Anyway, I'm going to take off, but I wanted to say goodbye first."

"Goodbye?" I frowned. "You haven't even really said hello yet." I wished he would look at me, really look, just once before we said our final farewell. It was quite disconcerting to have a whole conversation with someone who stared right through me like I was a ghost.

Jacob seemed to think my downcast expression was irritation with him for bailing so quickly. "I'm sorry, Elisa, but I just can't stay. I can't watch..."

I put a hand on his arm, not wanting him to have to finish that sentence. I knew what he meant - he'd done everything he could for Bella and anything more was just added salt in his wounds. "I understand, Jacob, I really do."

"Thanks." Jacob shoved his hands in his pockets. "So, you sure you don't want to come with me? Emily and Sam would be real happy if I brought you back. They're not too thrilled that the Cullens are taking off with you for parts unknown."

I sighed. I heard the hint in his words and I wasn't about to clue him in on where we were heading. "No thanks. But could you - " I hesitated for a moment. "Will you tell them thank you for me? I know I didn't really say it before, but it means a lot that they offered. I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to know them better." _Or you. _I thought to myself.

"Sure. I'll tell them." Jacob nodded. "Well, I guess this is it, huh?"

"Yeah." I paused for a moment. "I won't forget you, Jacob Black."

He smiled. "I won't forget you either, Elisa." But his eyes belied his words...they were distant, looking away from me, back towards the noise of the festivities that we could not see, back towards Bella.

"Really?" I crossed my arms, feeling a little chilled. "Because it looks to me like you already have."

"What?" Jacob looked back at me now, his expression confused.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." I shook my head. It wasn't so much that I felt bad for me. I'd be over this little Insta-Crush that I'd developed on him despite myself soon enough. But Jacob...well, I suspected if he had his way he'd be frozen forever in this state of mourning for Bella and it made me sad for him. Boys could be so stupid. Selfishly, I was almost glad that I would not see him again. Watching him and what he was doing to himself was already hard enough. Seeing him suffer over the long term, if I'd had enough time to grow really attached to him, would be pretty much unendurable. I hoped I was wrong though. Maybe I wasn't giving him enough credit. He deserved a little time to grieve, after all.

"I suppose I should get going." Jacob was saying now, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Sure. Goodbye, Jacob. I hope...that you have a really good life, with everything you deserve." I smiled at my own lame farewell even as I felt that annoying lump trying to rise in my throat again.

"You too. Hey...Elisa." Jacob had turned towards the trees, but quickly he turned back and finally it was there, what I had been waiting for, a look that was just for me. I looked back at him questioningly and he grinned. "You know, in another world, you and me...I think it could have been fun."

I couldn't help but smile at that. "It probably would have been."

And then he was gone, disappearing into the shadows. I stood there for a few long minutes, just gazing at the empty space where he had just been. It seemed very unfair that goodbye hadn't been any easier to say the second time around. There was a familiar burning sensation beneath my eyelids, but I refused to give into it this time. Instead, I thought about his last words to me. There might just be hope for the boy after all. And with that bit of hope making me smile, I turned and headed back towards the reception.

To Be Continued...

**A/N (and it's a long one...) **

**-sigh- I admit I'm really sad to see Jacob go. I definitely wasn't the biggest fan of his character, but he grew on me a lot while I was writing this, (like Elisa, I realized that I had greatly undervalued him) and I was so tempted to scrap my future plans for Elisa and set the two of them up. I wasn't expecting them to have such a good connection (well, they did in my mind, anyway), but really, neither one of them were ready for a big mystical soulmate connection. Don't worry though...someday, Elisa's prince will come (and because I'm evil, their relationship will be full of obstacles and complications, I'm sure. :p ) And we just might have not seen the last of Jacob, either...**

**Anyway, Elisa's segment was originally supposed to be much longer but I felt the rest of it (which is pretty much reception fluff; a few funny and sentimental moments here and there) detracted too much from her final encounter with Jacob. In the next chapter, would you like to see the reception continue or are you ready for the story to move on? Let me know...it will help me decide which direction to go. **

**In the meantime, I believe I promised a new story summary, now that Bella and Edward are actually married and the old one doesn't quite fit anymore. OK...here goes. **

_Fifteen year old Elisa was once an everyday Twilight fangirl, but now, inexplicably, she's become a part of Edward and Bella's world. Her struggle to fit into her new life, however, may become a fight just to survive at all as a betrayal turns a frightening premonition into a grim reality and the Cullens discover that even their best efforts may not be enough to keep either Bella or Elisa safe..._

**OK, that was rather vague...I'm working on it. Also, however, I do have some teasers for you all...a few quotes from later chapters (yes, I stole that idea from Stephenie Meyer's daily Breaking Dawn quotes. Sue me. :D ) Read at your own risk, however...I kinda suck at teasers - sometimes they are far too vague or they give away too much. And please keep in mind that some of these quotes are from chapters far, far down the line. I don't write chapters ahead of time (if I did, I wouldn't have so much trouble with deadlines) but I do have the entire storyline written out, and as scenes come to me I tend to write down bits and pieces. And these could be out of order as well.**

**Teasers:**

_"I don't believe this." I stared around at the ring of faces surrounding me, seeing nothing but concern and knowing I shouldn't resent them for it but I was just so frustrated. "I finally meet a guy who's sweet, cute, available, and very possibly not even gay and I'm __**not**__ allowed to date him?!"_

**--**

_I didn't need to wait now for the vision that would confirm my worst fears. By the time Alice fell to her knees, screaming Bella's name, I was already running, and as I ran, for the first time in almost a century I began to pray..._

_**--**_

_Without warning, his ice-cold tongue snaked out and lapped the tiny amount of blood off of my wrist as I cringed back and tried to pull away. His eyes gleamed. "Delicious." He murmured. "I envy her this treat." With that, he released me and looked at his watch. "Fifteen minutes, starting now, Elisa. I suggest you run."_

**NEW: A line from the very next chapter, (#11, The Storm). **

_Please forgive me, Bella. Please. _I whispered brokenly.


	11. The Storm

Welcome to chapter eleven of Evening Falls! This chapter is a bit shorter and will not have an Elisa POV (because Edward and Bella aren't into threesomes. :D ) Don't worry though, our young semi-heroine will be back to wildly dominate the rest of the story.

This chapter is a little more..well, adult then the others. I'm going more for passion and romance than graphic detail, so I don't think it will be _too_ adult, but nevertheless some of the young and innocent might want to avert their eyes.

Thank you again so much for the reviews...you guys keep me going!

5/1/12: Hey anyone who may go back and read this: I've edited this chapter only slightly to remove the way too long, mood killing song verses and Edward/Bella headings. The first half of the chapter is Edward, 2nd is Bella, and they are separated by a double line break. Enjoy!

**The Storm:**

_'...in a boy's dream...'_**  
**

We were standing on the front lawn, listening to the final farewells of our guests ringing out through the night air. The sound of car wheels on concrete was constant as vehicle after vehice wound around the curved driveway and then sped away, leaving a trail of red brakelights through the night. Those that were too intoxicated to drive, thanks to the generous open bar, were being helped into taxi cabs by my siblings. Alice, who possessed an amazing amount of common sense to go along with her prenatural foresight, had thought ahead and hired every taxi in Forks and Port Angeles to be on standby just for this reason.

Even as I thought that, two of our most drunken guests rolled by. And when I say rolled by, I meant that literally. One was Billy Black, rocking back and forth in his wheelchair, which was being pushed by a none too coordinated Charlie. Even as I watched, Charlie stumbled and Billy's chair tipped dangerously, threatening to dump the man onto the concrete. Both of them found this hilarious...their loud laughter bounced off the treetops, scaring the few night-flying birds that had chosen to rest there.

"Dad!" Bella chided, walking down the steps and taking the handles of the wheelchair from her father.

"Bells?" Charlie blinked his red eyes in surprise. "Where did you come from?"

"Isabella!" Billy burst out at the same time. "There you are...well, aren't you a sight..." He was staring at her like it was the first time he'd seen her all day, as if their disastrous confrontation that morning had never happened. "Seems like just yesterday you were only this high..." His hand flopped next to his chair, moving so much that according to him, Bella had been about six inches tall with a tendency to fluctuate wildly. "Now you're all grown up...and _married_..." He sighed heavily. "Know what this means, Charlie? It's official...we're _old_." He and Charlie both suddenly teared up.

"Oh no." Bella murmured quietly, watching them. "Not _again_."

Alice quickly swooped to the rescue, coming quickly to Charlie's side and gesturing for a taxi van to pull forward next to us. The helpful, and rather besotted driver, hurried out and immediately began to help Billy out of his chair and into the seat. Alice took my new father in law's arm and after Bella had given him a quick hug, hustled him along into the backseat, ignoring his slurred protests. Bella sighed as she leaned into to kiss Charlie's cheek, and then she pulled back, shutting the sliding door.

"I'm glad I got to talk to him earlier." She told me quietly. "If that had been our final goodbye..." She looked after the van and shook her head with a half-amused, half sorrowful smile. It was painful, watching her snip away at the last few remnants of her human life - but necessary. I could not swoop down and shield her from everything, even if my instincts screamed at me otherwise. I was realizing more and more everyday that not only was Bella certain of her choice, she was far stronger than I had ever wanted to admit. I was so proud, so amazingly lucky to be able to call this incredible creature my wife.

A hand on my arm broke into my thoughts and I looked down to see Bella's mother looking up at me "Renee." I smiled at her warmly.

"Edward." She responded, and I saw her look at Bella. Phil, her stepfather, was talking to her now, and I realized with some surprise that Renee had asked him to distract her...my new mother in law wanted to speak to me alone. I took her arm and led her a few feet away to give her a chance to say whatever it was she wanted. Renee looked relieved that I had so quickly surmised what she was trying to do.

"Thank you, Edward. I wanted to...well, I was going to apologize to you for being so stubborn about all of this, but then it occurred to me that it was probably good practice for life with my daughter." We both laughed, and then she continued. "But still, I wanted to tell you..." She looked again towards Bella, biting her lip in hesitation then spoke again. "I'm happy for you both, but I'm not going to lie. I'm still worried. Bella is convinced you two have done the right thing and I have to admit I trust her judgement more than I trust my own most days. Still, I'm her mother and it's my job to look out for her, so hear this. Bella loves you above anything else in this world. She loves you in a way that makes absolutely no sense for someone who is so rational normally, in a way that I didn't even think she believed in. She trusts you to never hurt her again. Don't let her down."

"I won't. I swear it." My voice was as low as hers.

Renee gave me a searching look very reminiscent of her daughter's and then she smiled. "I believe you." With that, she turned back to a now suspicious looking Bella.

"We're going back to the motel now, sweetheart. We have to leave early for Seattle if we want to make our flight." She kissed Bella's cheek, whispering a few more words in her ear and then with a final wave she and Phil were off. I realized with a small jolt that they were the last of our guests to depart. Only our family remained. Within a few minutes, we would finally be alone to begin our first night as man and wife. I sighed now, looking away from the emptying grounds to the darkening sky. It was thick, with blackish clouds now obscuring the stars, making it seem later than it was.

"What are you looking at, Edward?" Bella's voice was muffled against my shoulder, tired but happy.

I wound my arm around her waist, pulling her even closer as I kissed the top of her head. "It's twilight, Bella. I was remembering how it used to hold such melancholy for me."

"And it doesn't now?" Bella's face was upturned as she waited for my answer.

"No. Now it's a promise, the end of another day I got to spend with you and the dawn of so many more to come. You've changed my perspective on everything." I kissed her lips this time. "Thank you."

Bella sighed and pressed herself more firmly into me. I might have had to remind myself to not lose control if a teasing thought hadn't sounded in my brain.

_Oh, get a room, why don't you?_

I turned, and Bella moved with me, to see Elisa sitting on the porch steps, watching us. Her lips were quirked into a small smile. I noticed that she had already changed out of her bridesmaid gown into a pair of sweats, her traveling clothes. Her hair had been taken down and braided. Like Bella, she looked pleased, if tired, but her happiness was tinged, bittersweet. I knew why the sadness was beginning to overtake her but I couldn't linger on that...not tonight, when Bella was already facing so many separations. At least this goodbye would only be temporary...for now.

"Well, we _would_ get a room, Elisa." I matched her teasing tone, and Bella laughed with me, realizing what Elisa had been thinking. "But apparently we're not allowed to go to it. In fact, I was under the distinct impression that you, Alice, and Rosalie had forbidden us to go into the house at all."

Elisa giggled. "Well, everything is just about ready for you. But we're thinking that you'll want to wait to get the full impact until we're gone." Her voice became pained now. "Which is in about five minutes, apparently." She stood up then, and walked over to us, making a valiant effort to blink back the tears in her eyes. "You guys will come soon, won't you, to St. John's? And you won't just grab Carlisle and take off again for Alaska right away - you'll stay a few days at least, right?"

"Of course we will, Elisa." Bella spoke up before I could, her face compassionate. Carlisle had warned us that he suspected Elisa would take our departure from her life very hard and it looked like the fallout was already beginning. I knew that Bella felt as badly about it, if not worse, than I did, but there was no help for it. Newborn vampires and helpless young girls were not a good combination - if Bella was going to become like me, sacrifices had to be made. Elisa, unfortunately, was only one of them.

Elisa frowned, and I saw in her thoughts that she recognized our worry about her and she didn't want it, not tonight. She stood up, plastering a bright smile on her face, and I heard her searching for a way to change the subject when the quiet roar of an engine pulled up in front of us, distracting her.

Carlisle got out of the maroon van and headed up to the porch to pick up the last few suitcases. Emmett, Rosalie and Emmett had come up to us now. They were murmuring goodbyes to me and Bella, exchanging hugs, when Emmett was distracted by Elisa's horrified expression. "What's up with you?" He asked, his voice curious.

Elisa pointed at the vehicle Carlisle had just gotten out of. "That. It's _hideous_." She shuddered. "The Cullens, forced into family vandom. I don't think I can bring you any lower."

Emmett laughed. "Yes, clearly there's no end to your insidious evil." He teased. "Come on, kid, it's time to go." He and Rosalie would be riding with her, Esme and Carlisle.

Elisa exhaled shakily. "Just a minute." She turned back to us and hugged me first, then Bella, biting her lip to hold back the tears. "You two have the best honeymoon ever." She smiled. "Even if you're stuck in moldy old Forks. We'll see you soon." She turned abruptly and climbed in the van. I knew she didn't want Bella to see her cry.

_Let's not drag this out and upset her more. _Carlisle's thought sounded in my head now and I nodded as he moved to us quickly and said a fast, but heartfelt goodbye. Esme and the others did the same and then, almost too quickly, the van also descended down the drive and disappeared. As they pulled away there was the soft purr of an engine as the yellow Porsche pulled up next to us. Alice jumped out of the driver's side, followed quickly by Jasper.

"Well, I guess this is it..." Alice's eyes sparkled as she looked at us. She came to me and put a delicate hand on either side of my face, not saying anything else. She didn't need words, not even the ones in her head, to express what she was feeling at the moment.

"Thank you again, Alice, for everything." I knew my answering smile was enough to express my gratitude but I wanted to say it aloud anyway.

I turned to Jasper to say farewell to him as well and noticed his face was turned upwards. I followed his gaze to see that the black clouds were swelling angrily, buffeted across the sky by a rapidly rising wind. In the distance, there was a muted boom. He grinned. "Looks like one hell of a storm is heading this way."

"Imagine that." Alice murmured quietly, and beamed an angelic smile at me when I looked at her. A sudden suspicion crossed my mind and I stared hard at her, remembering her words earlier today right after the ceremony...something about enjoying the storm. As I tried to puzzle it out, her mind immediately filled with song lyrics. I glared at Alice and her grin widened.

_At least I'm sparing you a rousing chorus of 'Like a Virgin'..._

I glowered at her. Alice rarely withheld her thoughts or her visions from me and it was beyond aggravating when she did, especially when I suspected whatever she'd seen had to do with Bella.

Knowing me as well she did, Alice quickly recognized the look on my face. In a hurry now, she launched herself at Bella, giving her the briefest of hugs, a kiss on the cheek, and then grabbing Jasper's hand and tugging him back towards the Porsche. "Sorry to rush off, but we don't want them to get too far ahead. We'll see you in a week or two!"

"Alice..." I said her name through gritted teeth.

"Edward..." She returned, her voice teasing, but then she looked at me and her expression became serious as her thoughts were suddenly crystal clear to me once more. W_ord of the day for you, Edward: __Faith.__ You've learned to have it in Bella, and perhaps even in a higher power. Now why don't you try having some in yourself? _

With that, she turned back towards the Porsche. "I don't suppose you'll let me drive for a while?" I heard Jasper ask her as they moved away.

"Not a chance!" Alice's tinkling laughter sounded as she waved at us a final time, and then they were in the car and speeding off.

Bella looked surprised and just the slightest bit hurt by the abruptness of Alice's departure. "What was that about?" She asked me.

I lifted my shoulders. "She was eager to leave us alone."

"Alone?" Bella turned around and surveyed the empty lawns. Even the caterers and servers were gone...a cleaning crew would come tomorrow to pack up the remnants of the reception. "We are, aren't we? We are completely, one hundred percent..._alone_."

"_Finally_." Despite the wariness that was beginning to creep in on me, I could not hide the relief and joy in that word.

Bella laughed, a sound that was abruptly cut off as I swung her up into my arms and leapt on to the porch. "Ready to see whatever is waiting for us inside?" I asked her. A breathless chuckle was her only response as I pushed open the slightly ajar front door with my foot.

At first, nothing looked different. The great room was the same as ever - when we moved on from a place, we only took what was irreplaceable or had some type of sentimental value, so our furniture and nearly everything else still remained. Despite the fact that the house was still fully decorated, it had already begun to take on that hollow, empty feeling, as if the walls themselves knew that the occupants were never coming back. And then, as we approached the staircase, that empty feeling began to ease as we saw what was waiting for us.

The lights had been dimmed, but it was not too dark for even Bella to be able to see. The stairs were covered in rose petals...thousands of them, poured over each step, their fragrance warm in the air. On the side of each step there were what looked like candles, but on closer inspection they proved to be cleverly disguised lights, pointing the way upwards. I hesitated for a moment, and Bella stiffened in my arms, clearly wondering what was stopping me. With a sigh, both of hesitation and anticipation, I carried her up the stairs.

More rose petals and more flickering lights led the way to my bedroom. The door here was also just slightly ajar, and we could see the golden light filtering out from under it. I pushed it open, and Bella gasped.

It was not the same room it had been a few days ago. Alice, Esme, Rosalie, and Elisa had outdone themselves. My black and gold color scheme was completely gone...the walls redone in a warm cream color with just a hint of rose. The carpet as well had been completely replaced, the new one just a shade or two darker than what was on the walls. Most of my furniture - anything that would have interfered with the clearly romantic theme they were going for - was gone. And in here, candles - real ones this time - covered every surface, hundreds of them, from tiny scented votives to long tapers. They, along with two tiny, antique lamps cast the only light in the room. The trail of rose petals continued, drifting across the floor and up over the bed, which had also been stripped and then remade with new bedding to match the rest of the room. A white, gauzy canopy surrounded it now. My stereo system was gone and my CDs and albums long since packed and shipped, and yet soft music filtered through the room. I saw that it was coming from a small silver CD player that was nearly hidden underneath the bedside table. I smiled as I recognized Clair de Lune.

"Wow." Bella whispered, echoing my thoughts.

I set her down carefully and something flashed in her eyes - disappointment? I touched her face gently and then gestured to her dress. "I thought you might want to change into something a little more comfortable."

"Oh." I could see her slight blush even in the dim glow from the candles. "I suppose I should...where did they put my suitcase?" She looked around the room and finally we saw it, sticking out just slightly from under the bed. Bella knelt down to pull it out and I saw her frown. "It's..." Her face became suspicious and she pulled it out, the flipped open the already unzipped top to reveal that it was empty except for a small sheet of paper. She pulled it out and read it, the suspicion darkening to a scowl.

"What?" I asked, holding my hand out for the note. Bella handed it to me without a word, glowering. I read it quickly.

_'Dear Bella, _

_Congratulations! You are a married woman now! _

_And as such, we respectfully request that you stop dressing like a colorblind slacker teen. No one needs that much flannel. To help you on your way, you'll find a few things in the closet. Don't be mad...you'll thank us someday. _

_Love, _

_Alice and Elisa_

_P.S. Your nightgown is in the bathroom.'_

I had to take a deep breath in order not to laugh. I had never cared about how Bella dressed - rarely noticed it, if I was at all honest, unless she'd made a particular effort, but I knew it had always been a point of contention between her and Alice and now apparently Elisa had become Alice's partner in crime.

"I am going to _murder_ them!" Bella announced as she stood up and headed towards the bathroom. She closed the door behind her a little harder than necessary and I waited for the infuriated shriek as she confronted whatever overdone (or underdone) monstrosity Alice and Elisa had left for her. She made no further protests however...there was just a long silence before I heard the rustling that meant she was changing out of her wedding gown.

My chest, and quite a few other muscles that I didn't want to contemplate, tightened as I tried to block out the sound of buttons being unsnapped and cloth pooling onto the floor. I turned, pacing across the room as I tried to get the dangerous images of Bella undressing out of my head. My own intense reaction to just the sound of her movements on the other side of the door alarmed me. Tonight, of all nights, I needed to be completely in control and I was beginning to fear that I had even less of that restraint than I had been counting on. As I paced, I shrugged out of my jacket and pulled off my tie, throwing both on the loveseat in the corner.

The tentative creak of the bathroom door wrested me from my thoughts and I turned as Bella stepped hesitantly back into the room. Her arms were crossed self consciously across her chest, and then she dropped them with a mixed gesture of resignation and defiance.

I could not stop staring. I had been expecting - been prepared, really - for Bella to come out in some near see through bit of lace held together with a few satin straps. Something that, as tempting as it would be, would be so _not_ her that it would have be easier to focus more on her unease and making her comfortable than anything else. Instead, the gown that Bella was wearing was clearly vintage, in obvious keeping with the theme of her wedding gown. It was ivory colored, long, flowing and falling to her ankles, almost modest...until one observed the bodice, which was molding to her every curve and caused her cleavage to swell gently above the delicate fabric. Worse were the delicate corset strings that laced up the front and held the bodice closed...just one tug on those and...

"What?" Bella flushed now and I realized that I had not been subtle about my staring. "Don't blame me...Alice picked it. Don't you like it?"

_Like it? Like it? _I was half a second away from tearing it off of her...I had to pull myself together - couldn't let her see me like this, all need and instinct. I didn't want to frighten her. _ Alice, I will kill you by inches. _I silently vowed to myself.

"It's very...nice." I finally managed and Bella's face fell slightly. Damn it - I was terrible at this, all stilted awkwardness and inexperience, for once really like the green schoolboy I pretended to be. I crossed the few feet that separated us and took her into my arms, touching the shining hair that she had taken down to cascade around her shoulders. "You, Bella, are more breath-taking than should be allowed. Forgive me if I don't always say the right things...this is new to me too."

Bella relaxed into my arms and then wound her own arms around my neck, pressing us together, swirling her scent around me until I had to stop breathing for a second or two and count backward in my head -in French, Portuguese, and Gaelic- in order to kill the sudden burning in my throat. If only the rest of it could be as simple...my throat was hardly the only part of me that was on fire.

Bella lifted her head, her fingers lightly trailing the seam of my white dress shirt. "Don't you want to...change or something as well?" She asked me.

"Soon." I told her, and with that, I swept her up in my arms again and carried her over to the bed. Gently, I deposited her on the far side and then carefully, I eased myself next to her and pulled her back to me, cradling her on my chest.

Bella didn't seem to like the chastity of this position...she raised herself up on her elbows in order to see my face, and then reached out, lightly caressing my skin. I sucked in another breath...the sensations that her careful touch raised in me were nearly indescribable. Once again, I fought against myself, struggling to remain still, and she frowned. "Edward, is something wrong?"

Again, I cursed myself for being so inept. Here I was, trying to hide my desperate desire for her, fighting to stay in charge of my own instincts, and not only was I a miserable failure at it but I was making her feel insecure of top of everything else. "Nothing is wrong." I assured her, reaching out to cradle her face in my hands. "Nothing could be more right than this, the two of us, together."

Bella relaxed, smiling, and then she leaned down, pressing her lips to mine. For a dangerous moment I forgot everything that was at stake and I kissed her back, wanting to do more, so much more, and as her hands began to travel to the collar of my shirt and then unfastened the first few buttons I knew I was just seconds away from throwing caution to the wind. It took everything I had...and stores of strength I didn't even realize I had access to, for me to stop and to gently tug her back down to my chest.

"Edward..." Her protest was muffled, but the frustration in her voice was clear.

"Easy, Bella." I whispered to her as I stroked her hair, feeling her reluctantly relax underneath my hand. "We have all night. Let's take it slowly. I just need a few minutes to take it all in." My voice was smooth, sincere...lying was one thing I never seemed to have a problem with. I shuddered to think what that said about me.

Bella sighed, but acquiesced, and I felt her relax further on my chest. It was what I'd been counting on, that the fatigue I knew she was feeling after such a long, momentous day would be my ally. To further my agenda, I began to hum her lullaby, keeping my hand rhythmically moving through her hair, feeling both sadness and satisfaction as I saw her eyelids began to grow heavy, then finally close.

"This is _cheating_." She whispered before sleep finally claimed her, and I smiled to myself. Yes, but if it was the worst thing I did to her tonight, we could both count ourselves lucky. My grim smile faded then, and I exhaled as silently as I could manage. At once, I felt like the most blessed, yet most cursed man in the universe. I had what anyone would envy...all my dreams had come true this day, and yet I was cursed. Bella was mine and I was the last person in this universe who she should be with, the one who couldn't hold her, couldn't caress her, couldn't kiss her even without worrying what I could do to her. I remembered Renee's words to me earlier, telling me that Bella trusted me not to hurt her, and I felt sick. Renee thought she was warning me to not leave Bella again, as if I could, but she didn't realize I could hurt her in far more insidious ways.

I wished that I could give Bella a better reward for her love and trust in me, but all I had for her was pain and broken promises. It was definitely better if she slept now, oblivious, peaceful, because when she woke up there was going to be no end of turmoil. Oh yes, a storm was certainly brewing, but it wasn't the one outside.

Because I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't make love to her. Not tonight, not when she was warm, and soft, and oh so fragile. So frail, so breakable...it was too much of a risk. One that I could not bear, for her sake and selfishly, so much more for mine. I could not hurt her again...I could not lose her. There was no way I could withstand that agony.

So I would break my word, the bond that I had given to her, and she was going to hate me. Oh, maybe not forever, but probably close to it. At the very least, Bella would not be able to trust me for a very, very long and that realization was agonizing, but it was the price I was going to have to pay to keep her safe. I should not have promised her in the first place - I should not have been so weak. Should have always remembered that it was her life that lay on the line, and that was far too high of a price to pay. I should not have tricked her into this eternal bond with me under false pretenses, even if I had believed at the time that I could go through with it. I was a loathsome, foul, deceptive monster and when she woke up, she'd know it.

_Please forgive me, Bella. Please. _I whispered, far too low to disturb her. She turned in my arms and sighed, burying her face on my shoulder, so trusting, and I hated myself even more for not being stronger, not being what she needed, for being this disgusting beast that could snap her like a twig with one thoughtless gesture.

I knew Bella trusted me but she had always been braver than me. She was the lion, and I was the lamb, the coward...if it had been up to me, we would have never been together. It was her that first whispered my name, who reached out and touched my hand, who kept saying yes every time she should have said no and run. It was her that loved me even when I betrayed her, who accepted me with open arms when I came crawling back... My fists clenched together. After all of that, how could I do this to her? What else had she ever asked of me but this moment? How could I not be strong enough to give it to her?

Alice's voice whispered in my ear now... W_ord of the day for you, Edward: __Faith__. Why don't you try having some in yourself? _How well I understood now just what she had been talking about.

_Alice... _I groaned silently back. _It is just not that easy. It's too much of a chance. This is Bella's life we're talking about here... _But I could feel myself weakening, remembering back to a day, a black, horrible day, when Bella lay broken, poisoned and bleeding before me and I had raised her hand to my lips...I had been stronger than I'd believed myself to be then too...maybe I could -

_No! _I nearly screamed the word at myself. That had been different. If I hadn't acted, Bella would have lost her life, become a monster like me. Even if I had known then what I knew now, that one day I would accept her choice, even celebrate it, she hadn't been ready then. I hadn't been ready then. It could have destroyed us.

Bella turned then, moving restlessly in my arms, and her lips parted. "Edward..." she breathed, and the sound vibrated through me. I felt myself burning again, the flames hotter this time because they had sensed my weakness and exploded like gasoline contacting a lit match.

_I'll be alright. _I thought to myself as my insides burned and my fingers throbbed with the need to touch her. It was nearly impossible to resist, but if she just remained still, asleep for just a few more minutes, I could pull myself together, bring back my resolve, recall all the reasons why it would be madness to give in tonight and risk it all...

And at that moment, the fates, or something with a hellish sense of humor saw fit to intervene. The roar of thunder that sounded outside was so loud that it shook the whole house, making the windows rattle, and then the skies opened up and rain began to pound the windows.

In my arms Bella shot up, gasping slightly, her hand over her heart. Watching her chest heave against the too tight bodice strings of her nightgown, like the heroine of some silly paperback romance, did absolutely nothing to strengthen my resolve. Only my last last scrap of self-control, and the startled sheen of her eyes, stopped me from lunging at her like an animal.

"Bella, it's OK, it's just - "

Another blinding flash lit the sky, followed by an even more deafening roar, and then with a crack, the electricity snapped off. Bella gasped as the room noticeably darkened. I hadn't realized how much light the tiny lamps had provided until they were extinguished. The lit candles nearby flickered as the relentless wind found its way through tiny cracks in the walls and inside the room.

"Bella." I whispered, knowing she was struggling to see me in the darkness. I could feel the way her heart pounded as I held her close. "It's alright. It's just the storm. Don't be afraid."

"I'm not." I was surprised by the strange note in her voice, enough not to resist when Bella struggled out of my arms and off the bed. She walked across the room to the sliding glass window and pushed it open. Immediately, we were buffeted by a spray of rainwater, blown in by the rushing wind. Another flash of lightning lit up Bella's face brilliantly, and her expression stunned me. Her eyes were glowing with excitement. She was staring out into the storm, and then before I could stop her, she stepped carefully over the sill and out onto the narrow balcony beyond.

"Bella!" She was going to get wet, cold, sick, and without the electricity, I wouldn't even be able to turn on the heat to warm her up. I stepped over the sill after her, intending to demand that she come back inside and drag her if she resisted, but then I saw her, face upturned to the sky, eyes closed, raindrops dewing in her hair and sparkling like diamonds, touching her face and streaming down. Her nightgown was already soaked, and I saw with a groan that where it clung to her skin it was nearly transparent. Another flash of lightning illuminated her, standing there like a young goddess, lighting up every curve where it showed clearly through the wet cloth, and I knew I was lost.

And as I stepped to Bella and pulled her to me, I was certain of two things.

One, that at no time in the entire history of mankind was surrender going to be so rewarding.

And two, that somewhere between here and the Canadian border, Alice was laughing.

* * *

I wasn't frightened, not when the roar of thunder woke me out of my quiet doze, not when the next flash of lightning flared so brightly I was temporarily blinded, not when the electricity snapped off and the room was plunged into darkness except for the muted glow of the candles. No, I was enthralled, exhilarated...I felt suddenly, vividly _alive, _connected to everything around me, as if I were a force of nature myself.

It was a strange reaction for me. I was used to rain...endless, dreary, drizzling sheets of rain, day in and day out, but this was no ordinary shower, what was hurling itself from the sky right now. No, this was Mother Nature showing off, letting us know no matter what advances modern man made, she could not ever be tamed or controlled.

I didn't know what it was that compelled me the most to move, whether it was the sound of the rain pelting the roof, coming down so hard and so fast it was like thousands of tiny fists knocking and demanding entry. Or maybe it was the howl of the wind, whipping and whirling around, clawing at the windows and making them rattle. I could almost visualize it, curling into invisible fingers and beckoning me forth.

Its call pulled me out of Edward's arms and off the bed, out the window and onto the balcony, disregarding my flimsy attire and bare feet as I stepped on to the frigid wood, water pooling around my toes. Despite the storm's unchecked wildness, it treated me gently, seeming to celebrate that I had answered its summons. I didn't feel the chill of the raindrops that pelted me even as they rolled down my face, streamed down my neck, soaked into my nightgown. The wind, when it touched me, was like a caress, dancing around me, twirling my hair and making it flair around my shoulders, flicking the bottom of my nightgown and making it ripple... The sky lit up again and I could see the jagged streak of the lightning across the sky, so awe-inspiring, so beautiful.

"Edward!" I called. I wanted him to share this with me, wanted him to feel the wild excitement that was lighting me up from the inside out, but as I turned to go and find him he was already there. His cold arms were suddenly pulling me to him, and before I could take a breath his lips came down on mine and I forgot everything else. Nothing else existed except for the feel of his lips, and his hands, and those were suddenly everywhere, pushing back my hair as his mouth drifted from mine only to rain kisses down my neck, stroking my face, my arms, and then moving upwards again to gently flick at the straps of the gown until they fell away.

My breath came in gasps as I returned every kiss, my own hands clinging to him, touching every bit of exposed skin I could find and feeling frustrated that there wasn't more of it. I heard his quiet laugh as my fingers moved to the buttons of his shirt, tearing at them when they didn't open quickly enough for my liking. Somewhere deep down I was waiting for the moment...the point when he'd stop, pull away, put that wall up again between us...I had been expecting it ever since he'd carried me into the bedroom earlier. Despite his promises, I had seen the barrier in his eyes and I'd been afraid he was going to back out on our deal. I didn't know what had changed...maybe nothing had, maybe I was still dreaming, but if this was a dream I wasn't _ever_ planning on waking up.

"Bella..." His voice was a low whisper, almost a plea as he whispered it into my ear, and I answered his unspoken question by dragging his head down to mine and finding his lips once more. I exulted in his response...he didn't pull away, he didn't stop...his lips moved with mine and then parted, and I felt a shock that thrilled me from the top of my head to the very core of my being when his tongue touched mine with the lightest, most feathery of flickers. Despite the fire that was raging through me now, untouched by the icy sheets of rain that were drenching us both, I was careful to not respond in the way that I wanted to. I could feel, despite the gentle passion that he was assaulting me with, that he was still holding back, struggling to stay in control, and as much as I wanted him to give himself to me freely, I knew that control was necessary. Some things would have to wait until I was as strong as he was.

Too soon, he dragged his mouth away from mine and I wanted to protest until his lips traveled downward again and once again I felt the electric shock of his icy tongue, this time on my neck as he kissed the raindrops off my skin. My breath caught between a gasp and a moan and then I was cradled against his chest as he picked me up, carrying me back across the window sill and then gently set me back down on the bed. For a moment, he hesitated, almost as if he were going to move away instead of join me, his beautiful face torn even as his eyes burned down at me.

I wasn't about to allow him a single instant more to fill up with second thoughts. I reached for him, pulling him to me and he came although he could have easily resisted. My hands were busy with his shirt once again, most of the buttons undone or torn off now thanks to my impatience, and I slid my palms under it, parting it and then sliding it off of his shoulders. I couldn't get enough of touching him. I don't think anything but the feel of his fingers gliding over my shoulders, down my collarbone and then lower, hesitantly touching the bodice strings of the far too tight garment I was wearing, could have distracted me.

He had paused there, his hands poised, but careful, and to encourage him I covered his face and his neck in kisses. I heard a deeply exhaled, nearly growled breath and then the strings gave way and the gown was being pushed down. I helped him, impatiently pulling the wet fabric off my skin and then tossing it away from the bed. I turned back to him, and for a moment I saw the black fire in his eyes as he looked at every inch of me, and I smiled before my eyes closed and I fell back against the pillows, bringing him down with me. Somehow, the rest of his clothes melted away and it was just the two of us, skin to skin.

And as the thunder crashed and lightning lit up the room, as the last lit candles were dousedby the wind and the rain rushing in from the window we'd forgotten to close, we were together, connected, instinct telling us what to do, moving as one.

It was the perfect storm.

_To Be Continued..._

_In Chapter Twelve, Edward and Bella make the final preparations as she counts down the last days of her life as a human. Meanwhile, just as life begins to finally become routine for Elisa, she has an unsettling experience that makes her question the one person she thought she knew better than anyone...herself._

**A/N: Regarding Breaking Dawn (No Spoilers!)...I had originally planned to finish this story before BD came out, which was a ridiculous plan because I have a huge amount of story left to tell. So I wasn't sure how reading it would make me feel about continuing Evening Falls, but I love writing this story, so I've decided that I'm not going to worry about what happened in Breaking Dawn. I'm just going to continue this exactly as I had planned and not sweat over whether it's too similiar or too different or whatever. It is what it is, and I love Elisa too much to not tell her tale, or to put my own twist on Bella and Edward for that matter. I hope you all continue to read and enjoy it!**


	12. Miles To Go

**I think it goes without saying that I'm sorry this chapter took me so long, but life gets in the way, and I just can't seem to stop living it. Anyway, I will do my very best to get these chapters out more quickly but with as long winded as I am, they do take a while. :)**

**Speaking of long-winded, **_**Miles to Go **_**is only half of the chapter I intended to write. Elisa had a lot to say this time around, and the mood changes quite a bit about half way through, so I thought it was best to upload it in two chapters. The second part, **_**Halfway To Normal, **_**should be uploaded in a day or two.**

**I wanted to say thank you all so much to everyone who has been reading this story and giving me such great feedback. It means the world to me and inspires me to keep going.**

**Enough talk; on with the chapter. It's all Elisa's POV this time around - chapter after next will return to my usual Elisa/Bella/Edward formula. **

**Miles To Go**

_Scarlet red drips from my veins  
What's wrong with me  
That I imagine such things?_

If Only, Tiffany

_Someone was chasing me._

_I ran, struggling for air, trying to get my weak, too slow body to move faster down the dark, unfamiliar alleyway, feel splashing through puddles. Above me, my pursuer leapt from rooftop to rooftop with leonine grace, easily matching my pace. _

_I was more than aware that I was being toyed with, that if the unknown figure wanted to, it could swoop down upon me at any moment, like a hawk descending on their prey. Maybe this was amusing, to watch me desperately try to escape._

_Ahead of me, I could see the alley rapidly coming to a dead end. I'd be trapped then, my back against the bricks, the dirty, graffiti covered walls of this urban hell the last thing I saw. _

_As I ran out of places to flee, trapped, helpless, resentment bubbled within me. To have survived so much just to have it end like this...was this really how it was supposed to be? _

_It didn't matter. There was nothing, no way out, no hope._

_At that moment, my eyes, frantically touring every corner of this desolate place, caught sight of the rusted, metal door breaking up the stone wall to my right, nearly hidden in the shadows. My feet took flight once more, racing for it, knowing without seeing that my pursuer was close. _

_Just as my fingers touched the cold metal that could have been my salvation, I heard the nearly silent sound of the predator alighting on the pavement behind me. The possibility of escape had come far too late._

_Really, I'd expected it all along._

_I didn't want to turn around, but I wasn't going to die like this, hiding, my face pressed against the grime-covered wall. I wanted to see the face of my executioner. My body disagreed; preferring to curl up on the ground in a useless attempt at self-preservation. It took a few endless seconds for my brain to connect with my limbs and force my feet to propel the rest of me around. _

_I stilled, staring in surprise at the face before me. _

_"It's you!" There was no terror in my voice, just shock and a kind of benumbed understanding. _

_This changed everything. Not my fate, of course, but the reason for it. _

_I looked down, unsurprised to see the blood staining my hands, and then back up to the figure before me, surveying me with a determined but oddly sympathetic expression. I smiled sadly, to show that I understood._

_Then I closed my eyes so I would not have to watch him spring._

I sat up in bed, gasping. For a moment, I was completely disoriented, staring wildly at the unfamiliar walls surrounding me. In a moment, some semblance of reality returned. It was a dream, nothing more. I was fine, in my new bedroom in St. John's.

I clasped my hand over my mouth, knowing I was still hyperventilating. I didn't want anyone to hear me and come upstairs to check. I knew Carlisle had been worried that my insomnia and nightmares hadn't gotten much better over the past several months. I was afraid he was going to suggest medication for me soon, and in my mind, it was a short jump from that to straitjackets and the loony bin.

The unrelenting darkness wasn't helping me to regain my composure. Five more minutes of staring into the shadows and imagining what could be hidden in them and I really would lose it. Resignedly, I reached over and twisted the knob on the old-fashioned lamp next to my bed. The resulting warm glow brought the room to life and I instantly felt better.

The bedroom Esme had designed for me was stunning. Just gazing around at it was enormously helpful at putting the bad dreams far behind me. How she'd managed to figure out my taste so completely with a few choice questions over the summer I'd never know. Stepping into it was like stepping into _A Little Princess_, right into Sara Crewe's garret. Well, except without the rats, and starvation. The furniture and even the faded rose shade on the walls screamed turn of the century, but it was still girly enough to make me feel right at home. I even had my own fireplace. I'd loved my bedroom at home, but this was something else.

I sighed heavily at my own thoughts. I was going to have to stop doing that, comparing everything here to what I'd left behind - what I could remember of it, anyway. _This_ was my home now. Thinking otherwise, after everyone had worked so hard to give me a chance to be happy here, made me feel low and ungrateful all over again.

I was about to lie back down and try to make myself fall back asleep when something caught my attention. My ears, now far more attuned to subtle noises, could hear barely perceptible footsteps outside my bedroom door. Someone was moving hesitantly, almost at a human pace, most likely pondering whether to come in and check on me or not. Great - I didn't want anyone to fuss over me right now. It was just too embarrassing.

I blinked rapidly and prepared to put on a good show as my doorknob slowly turned.

Sure enough, my door creaked open and Esme's concerned face appeared around it.

"Elisa?" She whispered softly.

I turned towards her slowly, keeping my eyes unfocused and sleepy looking. "Hmm?" I mumbled.

"I thought I heard you, and then the light went on...is everything alright?" She studied me carefully.

"Everything's fine." I slurred my words just slightly, as if I were still half-asleep. "I woke up and just forgot where I was for a minute."

Esme chuckled. "That's understandable. No nightmares, though?"

I shook my head, smiling slightly to reassure her. "No. Sorry to bother you." I yawned widely and Esme visibly relaxed. She was always easier to fool than the others were. I felt a little bad about that.

"I'll just turn this off then and let you get back to sleep." Esme patted my head and then reached over to turn off the lamp. I had to fight to keep my heartbeat and breathing steady as the darkness fell over me once more. The last thing I needed was for Esme to report to Carlisle that I had added being afraid of the dark to my already long list of mental defects.

After Esme had flitted out of the room, I made myself close my eyes. The dark had brought the bleak alley back full force, forced me to remember the terror I'd felt as my pursuer, whose face I could not and did not want to remember, closed in on me. I concentrated as hard as I could to make my mind go blank, but as soon as I forced those visions out of my head, they were replaced by the ones that woke me up almost every night. Nancy's pleading voice, Scott's answering snarl, the sound of his gun as it went off...

I bit my lip hard and made myself breathe evenly as I concentrated on another image. Dragging the picture out of the ever-increasing fog that was my past, I recalled my younger self, maybe four or five. The memories came a little more easily now, and I remembered now that I had had bad dreams then too. Whenever I had woken up crying my mother would come in and rock me back to sleep. I thought about that now, how safe I felt in her arms as we swayed back and forth, her voice crooning an off-key lullaby in my ear.

With my phantom mother's face fixed firmly in my mind, her ghostly arms around me, I finally drifted back to sleep.

**x X x**

I slept restlessly and I woke up enough times to realize I was dreaming again, but thankfully, the details were hazy and I was tired enough to not let it keep me awake. By the time dawn began to chase away the lingering shadows in my room, the dreams were just a haze.

The light of day nudged me awake gradually. I opened my eyes and didn't recognize anything at first. Then I remembered - _again _- that we were in St. John's and I leapt out of bed. There was so much I wanted to do today, and I knew Esme had a few things planned as well.

As I got dressed, I thought about the drive to Canada. It seemed to have sped by in a blur. We only stopped when absolutely necessary - in other words, for me to do essential human things like eat and rest. Still, I had enjoyed the trip across the provinces. Edward had been right - Canada _was_ beautiful.

Carlisle and Esme seemed to feel badly that we didn't have time for more sightseeing, with so much still to arrange in St. John's once we arrived. They had both apologized to me repeatedly, promising me a better vacation during spring break. As if I was going to hold anything against them - they'd changed their entire lives because of me. Besides, I had years to explore my new country.

I had just finished brushing my hair when there was a crackling, static noise in the air.

"Elisa?" It was Esme's voice, but distorted, almost electronic, making me jump in my tracks. "Are you ready for breakfast?"

I'd forgotten about the intercoms installed in nearly every room, a leftover from the previous owners. I hurried over to the one on my wall and pressed the button so that I could respond. "Sure, Esme. I'll be right down."

"I'm in the kitchen." She responded and then clicked off.

I nearly got lost on the way downstairs to find her - that's how big the new house was. This was definitely going to take some getting used to. The sensation was disorienting. It felt like once again I'd tumbled off balance and fallen into another world.

First, St. John's was nothing like what I had expected. Emmett in particular had been very entertained by my open mouth and popping eyes as we had driven into the city limits.

That's right; I said the_ city _limits. It wasn't huge, but it was most definitely a thriving slice of urbania. This was so _not_ the tiny isolated outpost I'd been picturing. Of course, my little fantasy of what St. John's was supposed to be like had involved a few primitive wood buildings, of lot of 'eh' saying, fur covered old men and the occasional wandering moose. Clearly, my lack of knowledge about Canada had completely warped my expectations.

Then, of course, if St. John's itself hadn't been enough of a shock (I suspected it might even have a mall - heaven!), there had been the new house. It was stunning. White, like the old, but even bigger, sprawling across acres of emerald green. Like the Forks house, it was not in town, but in a far more rural area, dominating a secluded glen far from prying eyes. Another dark, unfathomable forest loomed nearby to make for easy hunting.

The estate had a slightly more polished, manicured feel than the other house. When Esme was giving me the initial tour she'd explained that unlike most of the tumbling down houses she re-built from the ground up, the St. John's house had been in fairly good condition and hadn't needed a lot of work. It had only been vacant for a year or so after the elderly woman who owned it had died. It was clear that Esme was disappointed that she had not been able to put as much of her own mark on the place, but I suspected there would be serious remodeling in the future.

However, she did have a new project on the horizon. There was a second, much smaller house on the estate, set far back from the main house. When Esme had shown it to me, she explained that it was called a carriage house. Back in the days of horse drawn transportation the building had housed buggies and carriages, hence the name. Since then, it had been renovated and used for different things, the latest being servants' quarters.

It was clear no one had concerned themselves with it for years though. Contrary to the well-kept grounds and main house, the carriage house was in complete disrepair. The outside walls were cracked, and inside, the walls were covered in scratched paint or peeling wallpaper. Almost every window had been broken, and vandals had long since carried off anything of value inside and damaged much of what was left.

All of this seemed to delight rather than worry Esme. She happily informed me that she planned to remodel the decrepit building and present it to Bella and Edward as a wedding present. I honestly had a hard time picturing how she was going to make the tumbledown house presentable in the mere week or so before they made their appearance. Apparently, I was underestimating vampire ability because she didn't seem to think the time restraint was much of a challenge at all.

On the other hand, maybe...I swallowed hard as another thought occurred to me. Maybe she hadn't meant for it to be finished in a week. Maybe she was thinking she had a lot more time than that. Bella and Edward would only be in St. John's for a few days before Carlisle accompanied them to Alaska. He'd be back as soon as it was certain there were no problems with Bella's transformation, but they wouldn't be. How long would it be before Bella could even consider controlling herself around me or other humans? A year? Two? Five? By the time they joined up with the rest of the family again, I could be long gone. Maybe that's what they wanted. My eyes burned. It felt like I'd had hardly any time with them at all, and they were leaving.

I felt a serious wave of depression coming on at that. I cut my Inner Voice off before it could start a monologue of 'poor me' and entered the kitchen.

The new kitchen had an island, with barstools, and I went to it and sat down. Esme was waiting for me, hovering over the stove expectantly.

"What would you like to eat this morning, Elisa?" She asked brightly. "Pancakes, eggs, waffles, omelet's, crepes…?"

I held up a hand as she continued to rattle off options like a short order cook. "You don't need to go to so much trouble, Esme." I picked a banana out of the bowl of fruit on the counter. "I'll just have this."

Esme sighed. "If that's what you want."

She looked disappointed and I felt guilty again. Esme was born to be a mother. I should let her take care of me more. I decided I'd be extra hungry for lunch, even if I had to choke down every mouthful with a smile on my face.

Not knowing what to say, and sincerely hoping she wasn't about to ask me if I'd slept well, I concentrated on peeling my banana. Esme turned away from the stove and walked to the island, casually leaning forward on her elbows. "I was wondering if you'd like to help me in the flower garden this morning, Elisa. It's not in good shape at the moment; I have lots of work to do before it gets too cold."

I nodded, hurriedly chewing so I could answer her. "Sure. I mean, I don't know anything about gardening but I could pull weeds for you or whatever."

Esme flashed a happy smile at me. "I'll teach you." She assured me. "It will be good for you to be outside as much as possible while the weather is still good. I think some fresh air and exercise is just what you need to get some color back into your face and get your appetite back so you regain some of the weight you've lost."

I flushed at her words, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Of course I would have lost weight during these past few months...in fact, the wedding was the first time I'd felt hungry enough to eat a whole meal. Ugh...between the lack of sunshine, the near inability to sleep, and the weight loss, I must look hideous. I hoped I was halfway back to normal looking before school started.

Just the fact that I cared about how I would look on the first day of school was bizarre too. All those things that I used to care about, clothes, boys, friends, school, back when I was still Elisa Jensen from San Diego, had been lost in my grief for my family and my old life. It was an odd feeling to regain some of that back, as if I'd been torn apart and now was reassembling myself, piece by piece. It seemed inevitable that some of the pieces would be missing or distorted by now...it caused a wave of half-excitement, half-apprehension in me to realize that the Elisa I was putting back together was someone I really didn't know yet.

Esme was still talking and I put a lid on my inner thoughts for a moment so I could focus on what she was saying.

"There are a few dance studios in town. I remember you said you were taking classes...later this week maybe we can take you around to a few, see if there's one you like." Her face was slightly anxious looking now. "We want life to get back to normal for you - none of want you to feel like you have to give up any more than what's already been taken from you."

I didn't quite know what to say to that. It was becoming more and more clear to me why Carlisle and Esme had chosen St. John's...a place that was so much bigger, more populated, than what they seemed to prefer. It was because they were trying to give me back a familiar environment, at the expense of what might be more comfortable or convenient for the rest of them, and that realization made my throat tighten in a very familiar way.

"That would be great, Esme. I've missed dancing." I smiled back at her. "Thank you."

Esme looked pleased. "Wonderful. So we've got a busy week then in between working on the house, getting you set up in dance, registering for school..."

Her words were interrupted by the abrupt appearance of Alice, who appeared out of seemingly nowhere, streaked into the room, and then plopped onto the stool next to me.

"Don't forget though, Esme. Tomorrow she's all mine." She informed us with a grin, coming into the conversation as if she'd been present the whole time.

"I am?" I wasn't upset at the idea of spending the day with Alice, just surprised. Did Alice need me to help her with some chores of her own? I tried to imagine what those could be. Color coding the endless racks of clothes in her walk in closet? Polishing her crystal ball? Buffing the shine on all six hundred and seventy eight pairs of her shoes?

"Of course, silly." Alice informed me, breaking into my speculative thoughts. "School starts in a few weeks. You need clothes." Her smile widened. _"Finally."_

Esme laughed. "Alice has been dying to take you on one of her shopping expeditions." She frowned slightly. "I hope you're up to it. Keeping up with Alice can require quite a bit of stamina."

"Don't worry." I grinned back at them. "I got that impression when we went shopping for Bella. Besides, when it comes to shopping I am all about stamina. "

"Excellent. A girl after my own heart." Alice flashed her brilliantly white teeth at me again. "It will be nice to have another shopping buddy when Bella's not here." She chuckled. "Actually, it will be nice to have a shopping companion even when she _is _here." We all snickered.

Alice turned back to Esme. "Speaking of school, where is she going?" She stopped for a moment, her face going blank. "Sullivan High, it looks like, but apparently you haven't made a firm decision yet."

I stopped eating, waiting for Esme to answer. I'd been wondering about that myself.

Esme looked thoughtful. "Sullivan has a good reputation but St. Agatha's has smaller class sizes and in terms of curriculum..." She continued musing aloud but I wasn't listening any more. My mind had frozen on _'St. Agatha's'_. That sounded suspiciously like...private school. Private _Catholic_ school. Every single bad movie I'd ever seen about girls in plaid skirts and angry nuns with rulers came rushing back to me and I cringed. Besides, with a name like St. Agatha's, I was strongly suspecting it was a no boy's zone. Ewww...how horrible. All girls, all the time. With my tendency to get into catfights and hair pulling matches, I'd be bald by December.

Someone chuckled next to me and I realized Carlisle had come in without me seeing. He surveyed my expression with amusement before turning back to Esme. "I think Sullivan will be fine. We'll try it for a semester or two at least, and if it doesn't work out we can always give St. Agatha's another look."

_Thank you, thank you, thank you._ I flashed him a grateful smile.

Alice looked relieved too. "Good. You were just about to make our all day shopping spree nearly pointless." She grimaced. "Uniforms...how awful."

Carlisle turned back to me. "Are you done eating, Elisa?" He asked, looking at my empty banana peel.

I nodded, and he held out a hand, helping me off the stool. "Why don't you come into my study for a moment? I'd like to have a word with you, if you don't mind." He exchanged a look with Esme.

I swallowed apprehensively. His smile was kind, but I knew that look. The one said a lecture was coming. I steeled myself in preparation; it was always worse when it came from someone you respected and wanted to please.

Carlisle led me down the long hallway to his study, an enormous, wood paneled room that took up a big chunk of the main floor. Once inside, he shut the double doors behind us and indicated that I should sit down on the long lounge against the wall.

To my surprise, Rosalie and Emmett were also in the study, looking as though they'd been waiting for us. From the look on Rosalie's face, I had a pretty good idea I knew what this was about and I had to restrain myself from giving her a resentful look. Did she really think I needed to have another conversation about the Tanya incident on Bella and Edward's wedding day? My ears were still ringing from the 'talk' I'd been forced to endure from her.

After a moment's hesitation, Carlisle seated himself across from me, behind his desk. I felt even more like I'd been sent to the principal's office. I fidgeted a little in my seat, waiting for the worst, but no one spoke for a moment. Carlisle's calm face gave no sign of unease, but I suddenly got the impression that he was nervous too. I felt a bit better at that realization.

"So Elisa…" Carlisle finally broke the awkward silence. "I understand there was an incident between you and Tanya the other day."

I _knew_ it.

"Um…sort of." I admitted, looking down at the carpet. "It was no big deal though." I tried to look nonchalant.

"No big deal?" Rosalie sputtered in indignation, ruining my attempt at casual. "Carlisle, I told you what she did! Elisa practically challenged Tanya. She all but told her she intended to become a vampire just so she could, and I quote, 'kick her skanky ass!' " Rosalie put her hands on her hips and gave me a furious look.

There was a strangled snort and I looked up to see Emmett trying to cover his grin with his hand.

Rosalie glared at him furiously. "Em, it's not funny!"

"I'm not laughing!" Emmett protested as his eyes danced. He winked at me and I looked away before I could smile back at him and get myself into more trouble.

Carlisle cleared his throat pointedly and the two of them went silent immediately. He looked back at me and took a deep breath, as if measuring his words carefully.

"Carlisle, look, I know what you're going to say." I blurted out before he could speak. "I'm sorry about the whole Tanya thing. I didn't mean it. It's just - she made me so mad and I lost my temper. I promise it won't happen again."

Carlisle smiled at me warmly and I relaxed a bit. "It's understandable, Elisa. You're young, and like many people your age, you tend to react without thinking it through first. What we need to impress on you, however, is that your life is no longer like that of other teenagers. I cannot stress enough how important discretion is to our family, not only when it comes to dangerous situations, but in our every day lives. We can't afford loss of control, even if it's just verbally. One wrong slip of the tongue can change our lives. I know this is a lot of pressure to put on your shoulders, but I very much need for you to practice self-discipline."

He leaned back in his chair and surveyed me. "And please understand that it's not just out of concern for our secrets that I'm speaking. We want to keep you safe, Elisa, but we can't do that without your help. You were very lucky that Tanya has so much self-control, and a sense of humor. If it had been anyone else…" He let his words drift off without finishing.

I nodded. "I understand and I promise to work on it. Losing my temper with Jane and Tanya is bad enough - I'm not going for a third time."

Carlisle's head shot up and he stared at me. "_Jane?"_ His voice was strained.

Uh oh. I really was going to have to work on these little slips of the tongue. "Well…uh, you know about the whole Jane thing. Italy, the tunnel…" I crossed my fingers that this would be the end of the discussion about Jane.

"Yes, I remember, but apparently, I'm missing some of the finer details. Please, fill me in." Carlisle looked at me steadily. Darn vampires…they always knew when you were holding back.

"Um…I might have called her Munchkin Princess?" I smiled weakly. "She was a little mad about it." Raging and homicidal was a more accurate description, but Carlisle probably knew her well enough to figure that out on his own.

Carlisle closed his eyes. "Munchkin princess." He repeated, his voice flat.

"Well, she started it!" I folded my arms across my chest, starting to feel a bit defensive.

From Emmett and Rosalie's corner, there was a wheezy, choking sound and I turned to see Emmett nearly convulsed with laughter. Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head.

Carlisle looked at them. "Rosalie, Emmett, I think perhaps it would be best if Elisa and I finished this discussion in private." His voice was still calm, but there was a note in it that said this wasn't a suggestion.

Rosalie nodded and with another fierce glare at her husband, walked with him out of the room.

I looked back at Carlisle to see him pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefingers and I realized where Edward had picked up the gesture. Not knowing what else to say, I stared again at the carpet as I waited for him to speak.

Carlisle finally looked back at me and sighed. "I think, even more so now, that we need to make very sure that you and Jane never encounter one another again. It is not in her nature to forgive or forget such an insult." His voice was grave.

I nodded again, feeling a ripple of fear now. He didn't have to tell me twice - Jane was definitely one vampire I never wanted to see again in any way, shape or form. Just the mention of her name was enough to give me flashbacks.

"Elisa." Carlisle's gentle voice had me raising my head to look in his golden eyes.

He smiled more readily now. "I have noticed that you are much more apt to be reckless and find yourself in harm's way when you are acting on someone else's behalf. More specifically, Bella and Edward's."

He leaned forward to gaze at me more intently. "I think your loyalty and protectiveness of those you care about are wonderful qualities to have, but Esme and I worry about you. We know that we can't replace your parents but we are your guardians now and you need to trust that we want what is best for you. Maybe it's time for you to stop trying to take care of everyone else and let us take care of you for a while. Deal?"

I nodded slowly, feeling a little overwhelmed by the serious turn of the conversation, but touched at the same time. "OK."

"Good." Carlisle stood up, still smiling. "I hope, Elisa, that as you get to know us better you'll come to rely on us more."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I felt a bit awkward. "I mean, for everything."

He nodded, seeming to understand. "I won't keep you inside any longer. We won't have much more of this nice weather so you might as well enjoy it while you can."

As grateful as I was to him for putting up with so much from me, it was still a relief to leave his office. Carlisle was in some ways even more intimidating than Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward put together, despite his gentle mannerisms. He had an aura of power around him that was disconcerting. I think he realized that I felt that way too - I had noticed how exaggeratedly careful and slow he was around me, as if he were afraid of frightening me.

I was still standing in the hallway, trying to remember which direction I should go to make my way outside and to the gardens, when a cold voice came out of seemingly nowhere, startling me all over again.

"Do you have any idea how much you are going to hurt them?"

I whirled to see Jasper standing several feet from me, nearly lost in the shadows against the wall.

"What? Hurt who?" I stammered.

"My family. _Alice_." When he said Alice's name, something in his eyes flared, and I realized then how hard he was trying to control himself. My heart began to pound.

"I wouldn't ever hurt -" My voice was trembling now, but Jasper didn't let me finish my sentence.

"Did you think that was amusing, what you pulled the day of the wedding? Running off alone in the woods with a dangerous creature like a werewolf, and then antagonizing our ally into nearly attacking you? I thought I was beginning to understand you, Elisa. You told me that you understood the risks you were taking by being with us. You never mentioned that you _wanted_ to take those risks, that you were going to use this experience as an elaborately planned suicide."

_"What?" _I gasped out, staring at him.

"It was bad enough, the fact that you wanted to live with a family of vampires. Bad enough that we would risk not only the wrath of the Volturi, but us potentially killing you ourselves. Still, perhaps that was manageable. But with the heedless way you choose to lead your life, it's no longer a question of if something will happen to you. It's a question of _when_. Do you have any idea what that is going to do to everyone who tried so hard to protect you? They will all be devastated. They'll blame themselves. Guess who I'm going to blame?" He was glaring at me now, his golden eyes frigid, and I took a nervous step back.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't think enough." I was fighting back the tears now. "But you have it all wrong - that was never what I wanted!"

"Really? I have it wrong?" His eyes seemed like they could burn a hole through me. "There's something about you, Elisa...something _off_. Are you going tell me I'm wrong about that too? That you're not hiding something?"

I wanted to say no, to deny all of his angry accusations, but my mouth was too dry to speak. Jasper gave me one last disdainful look, turned on his heel and was gone in an instant.

I stood there in shock for a moment, feeling overwhelmed by a strong sensation of guilt and shame. Tears began to trickle down my face. What had I done now? Was I really so selfish...so dangerous to everyone I cared about?

There was a movement from the doorway leading back towards the great room, and then Emmett appeared, followed closely by Rosalie.

Emmett took one look at my tearstained face and whirled back around.

"That's it," he growled. "I'm beating Jasper's ass."

"Em!" Rosalie grabbed him, stopping him in his tracks. "I'm not happy with him either but you attacking him is just going to upset Elisa more."

I nodded vigorously, wiping my eyes. "I don't want you guys fighting because of me. Please, Emmett. Just let it go."

Emmett sighed, then inclined his head in defeat.

Looking relieved, Rosalie let go of his arm and then walked over to me. She lifted my chin in her hand so she could look into my eyes. "Don't let him get to you like this, Elisa. Jasper just has...issues." Her own face tightened now. "I think I'm going to go talk to Alice."

I wanted to protest but she was gone before I could make a sound.

Emmett still looked frustrated, but his expression softened as he looked a at me. "She's right, kid. Don't let him get under your skin."

I nodded, trying to look calm. Emmett didn't seemed fooled.

"How would you like to go for a run with me, Elisa? I can't really take you sightseeing at the moment, on account of it being all sunny and inconvenient, but I seem to recall that you enjoy traveling vampire style."

"Really?" I brightened.

Emmett grinned. "Really. Go get a sweater first though. It may look sunny, but it's not all that hot and Esme will kill me if I let you get cold."

I smiled in response and hurried up the stairs.

As soon as I was out of Emmett's line of vision, I let my cheery smile drop. Jasper's words were still boring into my brain. Even the sight of my pretty new bedroom as I walked in wasn't enough to cheer me up. I closed the door and leaned against it, struggling to process my emotions. It hurt that Jasper still clearly disliked me and distrusted as much, if not more, than ever. And I felt sick, guilty, because, disregarding his insane notion that I was flamboyantly suicidal, everything else he'd said was true. I had been thoughtless and I hadn't considered the consequences of my actions, not only for me but for the family that had risked so much to take me in.

Underneath all that though, was another emotion, rapidly bubbling to the surface. _Anger. _I was getting fed up with Jasper dumping on me every chance he got. Maybe he was right about some things but did he have to leap at every opportunity to make me feel like crap? I was fifteen; wasn't I entitled to make a few mistakes? Did he leap down Bella's throat for going after James in Phoenix, or for falling in love with a werewolf, or for existing in general? Nooo, of course not. When it came to Bella, everyone was _so_ understanding, no matter what insanity she got herself stuck in.

Me, I call a skank a skank, spend twenty minutes in the woods with the same werewolf and a collective coronary is had by all. Sheesh, overreact much?

Yes, I was definitely getting seriously pissed off. And it was even more frustrating that my natural desire to go back downstairs and kick Jasper as hard as I could was impeded by him being all stony and invincible. It was so unfair. There should be a law that nobody was allowed to be that annoying unless they were kickable as well.

"Elisa, are you coming?" Emmett's voice floated up the stairs to me.

"Be right down!" I called back, and grabbed my sweater from the bedpost where it was hanging.

A few minutes later, I was walking at Emmett's side to the forest beyond the house. I had thought that Rosalie might come as well, but she must have still been talking to Alice. I felt another wave of self-consciousness at that, followed by more Jasper-centered resentment. I wasn't going to take the blame for any strife between Rosalie and Alice - this one was all on him.

My eyes narrowed as I caught sight of his gigantic motorcyle leaning against the outer wall of the garage as we passed it. Quickly, I calculated the odds of my living to see tomorrow if I gave in to the urge to spray paint 'Jasper Hale Sucks!' on its shiny silver surface, but had to admit it didn't look good.

Still, I was on the defensive now. No more groveling and wishing that Jasper would forgive me for daring to interrupt his eternity with my unwanted presence. I didn't ask to be here, but I was, and he was just going to have to get over it.

"Ready to ride, Elisa?" We'd reached the outskirts of the dense trees now and Emmett was looking at me expectantly. I beamed back, deciding not to let thoughts of Jasper ruin anything for me from now on.

**x X x**

It was surprisingly easy to not think about Jasper as the days passed by. Out of sight, out of mind, I supposed, and I barely saw him. Clearly, he was avoiding me again. I didn't mind this much, except for the fact that it meant I barely got to see Alice either. That made me sad. I'd had a lot of fun with her the day she took me clothes shopping and I'd been hoping it was the start of a good relationship between us. It looked like that wasn't going to happen now - just something else to blame Jasper for.

Aside from my rapidly growing resentment towards Jasper, the last days of summer were laid back and easy. As much as I missed Bella and Edward, I enjoyed the calm as my life finally began to settle into a steady pattern. I generally spent mornings with Esme, tending to the flower gardens that wouldn't bloom until spring, or shopping for antiques for the house. After lunch, I accompanied her to the carriage house where Rosalie and Emmett would already be hard at work, and Carlisle occasionally as well if he wasn't working. Between the five of them, the remodeling was coming along remarkably quickly. My humanly slow attempts to help didn't accomplish much, but all of them put on a good show pretending that I was a vital part of the renovations. It was kind of adorable in a way, how hard they tried to make me feel included.

Evenings I generally spent with Rosalie and Emmett, sometimes at home, usually not. They seemed to enjoy taking me out on the town, to dinner or movies or whatever they could think of that they thought I would find amusing. Carlisle and Esme joined us from time to time. I think Carlisle felt a little guilty that he wasn't able to spend more time with me, but between his schedule at the free clinic where he now worked and my need to sleep at night, we were lucky to see each other a couple of hours out of the day.

Edward and Bella called every other day or so. They had finally left Forks, but they were taking their sweet time making it to St. John's. It was understandable. After all, they were newlyweds. But I could not deny to myself that I was growing impatient. When they finally arrived, it could be the last time I saw them for years. In general, I tried not to think about that too much - it was far too painful, one of the few black spots on my otherwise peaceful days.

We'd been in St. John's for about ten days and Esme's theory that fresh air and exercise would do me good seemed to be paying off. I was finally eating full meals and for the most part, sleeping through the night. The return of my good health left me with an abundance of energy and general high spirits. I was looking forward to starting school again. In fact, I was looking forward to life in general.

Still, despite the fact that I was finally starting to feel at ease, I still wasn't completely comfortable with knowing that I was in serious danger of being spoiled rotten. I felt like I was doing a lot of taking, and no giving in return. To counteract the guilt, I insisted on being given a list of chores to do around the house. Esme and Carlisle agreed, and in return, offered me an obscenely large allowance. I had to bargain them down to a more reasonable amount. Not that I was generally that selfless, but they'd done enough for me already. I wasn't going to cap it all off but taking advantage of them.

On this particular afternoon, I was straightening up the library. Aside from my bedroom, it was my favorite room in our new home. I loved to sit in there for hours and work my way through the bookshelves, which were unexaggeratedly better stocked than most bookstores. It could be years before I ran out of things to read.

There wasn't much for me to do. I put away a few random books, dusted the already pristine looking furniture, and then decided to vacuum. The floor didn't really need it, but in the interest of feeling useful, I dug the vacuum cleaner out of the hallway closet anyway and dragged it through the library door. Then I turned on my iPod, a back to school gift from Emmett, plugged in the cleaner, and went to work.

My thoughts drifted as I pushed the machine idly across the floor, wondering again about Edward and Bella, who were supposed to be there any day, thinking about school and what my classmates were going to be like, endless, random musings with little importance.

It was the scrape of the vacuum against stone that brought me back down to earth. Without noticing, I'd pushed it right into the hearth before the fireplace. Even as I realized this, it was too late to stop it - the vacuum was already gliding across the hard, slick surface and then crashing into the fireplace itself.

None of this would have been a big deal, except for what happened next.

Carlisle's ancient cross, the one that had belonged to his father in England some three hundred plus years ago, was affixed to the wall above the fireplace. The impact must have jarred it loose. It detached itself and smacked into the stone at my feet, snapping cleanly in half.

I stared at the broken cross in mute horror for what seemed like an eternity, even though I knew it was just seconds. Hw could I have been so careless? And why did I have such disastrously bad luck? The library was full of fragile and undoubtedly expensive objects, and yet I still had to go and break the one thing that could not be replaced.

Tears began to form in my eyes and I tried not to sob as the magnitude of my crime hit me. How was I going to explain to Carlisle that I had broken his one remaining link to his human past; the only remnant of his father? A relic that had survived for centuries until Hurricane Elisa blew into town and trashed it, just another piece of debris in my wide swath of destruction.

It wasn't so much that I was afraid of Carlisle's reaction. He'd forgive me, that I knew. He'd tell me it was an accident and that he understood. Maybe he'd even try to make me believe that Esme could fix it somehow. Knowing this did not make me feel better. This was just too much, the last straw. Everything I touched, I wrecked somehow. Why did I always have to be such a burden on everyone? I did not want forgiveness and understanding. For once I wanted to be the person who wasn't such a perpetual screw up in the first place. I wanted desperately at that moment to just not be _me_ any more.

And then the room began to spin.

For an instant, I thought I'd just gotten a bit dizzy. Then I felt it, the pressure, building from the top of my head and spreading through every particle of my body until it reached the tips of my toes. It was like a giant hand had wrapped itself around the whole of me and was squeezing, pressing me flat. Even my lungs no longer had room to draw air; my heart no longer had space enough to beat. I was dying, I had to be, and I could not even take a breath to cry out one last time. All around me the room twisted and turned, shifting so fast that it became nothing more than a blur.

Just as suddenly as it had begun, it all stopped. I stared in front of me in bewilderment. I was no longer in front of the fireplace, but back in the doorway of the library. The handle of the vacuum cleaner was still in my hand, but the cord was still wrapped up, as if I'd just taken it out of the closet.

Feeling dizzy again, and distantly aware that my head was throbbing painfully, I forced myself to look through the doorway and at the wall in front of the fireplace. To my shock, Carlisle's cross was back on the wall, whole and unblemished, as if the last couple of minutes had never happened at all.

I was utterly confused but before I could even try to comprehend what had just happened, the pain in my head exploded, washing over me in waves and making me stagger. It felt like my brain had swollen to several times its normal size, then caught fire. I put my hands on either side of my head, as if I could somehow block the agony out but it only increased. My eyes felt like they were being forced out of their sockets.

My knees began to buckle but just as I began to slump to the ground, a cold, hard arm came around my waist and held me up.

"Elisa, what's wrong?" Esme's anxious voice sounded in my ear. "I thought I heard something fall - was it you? Did you hit your head?"

I tried to shake my head no, but that brought a fresh wave of blinding pain. My stomach churned violently in response. Dimly, I realized that I was seconds away from hurling on Esme. I don't know where I got the strength to move but I straightened up and pushed against her arm. She released me immediately and I raced down the hallway to the bathroom, barely making it in time.

Esme was right beside me. If I hadn't been in such a miserable state, I would have been embarrassed. Her cool hands held back my hair as I heaved over and over. After an endless interlude of paying homage to the porcelain gods, she helped me to my feet, washed my face, and then nearly carried me down the hall to my room where I gratefully crawled on top of my comforter.

The pain was unrelenting. If I moved my head even a fraction of an inch, it got worse. At one point, I actually saw stars. The throbbing in my brain made any other pain I'd ever been in seem kind. Even being hit by the car back in San Diego seemed like a ride at Disneyland in comparison.

While I was lying on my bed, praying for unconsciousness or a quick death, Esme hovered over me, occasionally wiping my face and asking me anxious questions. I must have answered them but it was beyond me how I still had the capacity to form words. I was vaguely aware that others were near...Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice, speaking softly to Esme and looking down at me with concerned expressions.

The seconds seemed to pass by as though they were imbedded in quicksand but eventually Carlisle was there at my bedside. After a near silent discussion with Esme, he knelt down, and shined a light in my eyes which just made the agony that much more intense. He also took my temperature and pulse, asked me a few questions that I mumbled nonsensical answers to.

I nearly cried with relief when he produced the syringe, although under normal circumstances I would have been cringing in terror instead. The sting of the needle in my arm was almost a soothing distraction, and within a matter of minutes, I fell gratefully into blackness.

It seemed to be a very long time before any awareness came back to me. I woke to find Esme still beside my bed.

"How are you feeling?" She whispered quietly.

I paused for a moment before speaking to consider it.

"Good." I decided after a moment. "A little shaky, maybe, but my head doesn't hurt anymore."

Esme smiled, but her face was still tinged with worry.

"Do you remember what happened?" She asked me as I sat up slowly, giving myself time to make sure my stomach didn't rebel on me again.

"Not really - " I started to say, but suddenly it all came rushing back and forgetting my decision to be careful, I shot off the bed so quickly that a wave of vertigo made me stumble.

"Carlisle's cross!" I croaked as Esme stared at me in bewilderment. "It broke when I knocked it off the wall! Esme, I am so sorry - "

"What are you talking about, Elisa?" A different voice sounded from the doorway and I looked up to see Rosalie standing there as if she'd been there all along. "The cross is hanging on the wall like it's been since we moved in."

"It is?" I sat back down on my bed heavily. "I don't understand - are you sure?"

Rosalie shook her head, exchanging a look with Esme. "Carlisle's on his way upstairs now to check on you. Maybe he can explain what you're rambling about."

Just as she said, Carlisle appeared moments later. Rosalie and Esme left the room as he began to repeat his examination from the night before.

He smiled down at me reassuringly as he took my pulse. "You gave us all a good scare, Elisa. Have you had migraines before?"

"Migraines?" I repeated, surprised. "_That_ was a migraine? Wow. I underestimated how bad they are, I guess. I didn't know migraines made you feel like someone filled your head with dynamite and then lit the fuse."

Carlisle chuckled. "I take it that's a no."

I nodded. "Even I would have remembered something like that."

I thought for a moment, not sure whether I should ask what was on my mind, but he was already looking at me curiously.

"Do migraines um...make you imagine things? Or...see things that aren't there? I hoped that question didn't sound as insane to him as it did to me.

Carlisle looked at me contemplatively for a moment. "Some people do experience visual anomalies before and during an episode; flickering lights, blurred vision, that sort of thing. Did that happen to you?"

_No. I saw your cross fall down and break. Then everything went all swirly vortex on me. No need to be concerned, though. I'm just stark raving mad, is all._

"Something like that." I mumbled. For obvious reasons, I decided against telling the truth. Really, when it came down to it, I wasn't even sure if it _was_ the truth. I wasn't sure of anything. I could have just imagined everything.

I hoped.

There was a quiet knock on the doorframe and we both looked up to see Esme there. "Is everything alright in here?"

Carlisle said something in reply, but I didn't hear a word of it. My eyes were riveted by what Esme was carrying. It was covered in a cloth, probably to protect the fragile wood, but there was no mistaking the shape clearly outlined in the soft fabric. It was Carlisle's cross.

Esme noticed me staring and smiled. "I thought I'd just go check since you seemed so concerned. I'm glad you said something - I should have realized that it was loose. It would have fallen eventually. I'm going to move it downstairs to Carlisle's study and we won't have to worry about it anymore."

"I'll go with you. Elisa, you get some rest." Carlisle followed Esme to the door and then with a rush of motion they were gone, leaving me staring after them.

So much for it being my imagination.

This could not be happening. My life was finally getting back to something that I could consider normal by my new world standards, and now the foundation was threatening to fall from under my feet all over again. Was I being punished for something? Maybe I got too comfortable. I should have known that the break from the traumatic and irrevocably weird was just that, a temporary vacation before the universe hurled something impossible to deal with at me once more.

I closed my eyes, massaging my forehead, trying to puzzle it out. This didn't have to be a big deal, right? Maybe I just had an Alice moment, saw something before it actually happened. That wasn't so bad. It wasn't even really that strange.

Except…I distinctly remembered Esme telling me she'd heard something fall. As far as I knew, visions did not come with Surround Sound.

I groaned, lying back and pulling my pillow over my head. There was only one thing I could be sure of. Whatever this was, I was not ready to handle it. I wasn't strong enough. I just wanted it all to go away. The unknown force that had been stealing all my old memories little by little could have this one too, because I had absolutely no intention of thinking about it ever again.

I stared up at the ceiling, counting every tiny little bump and crack in the plaster overhead, starting over every time traitorous thoughts tried to intrude. I was tired enough that it was easier than I had expected to allow my mind to go blissfully blank. My eyelids grew heavier and heavier and I didn't resist as sleep pulled me back into its grip.

Just beyond the peaceful black of oblivion, the dreams waited to have their say once more.

To Be Continued...

_Hope you enjoyed this chapter - reviews are always appreciated! In the next chapter the mood is a bit lighter, even as Elisa discovers living in denial has its own consequences. Happily for her, Edward and Bella's arrival is a good distraction, and starting her sophomore year all over again is an adventure in itself. _

Excerpt:

_Poetry? _He wrote poetry? Could it be...a boy that was both pretty _and_ deep? OK, I was definitely riding the train into Crushville now and it was with no small amount of relief. _Goodbye, _Edward. _So long_, Jacob Black. It was about damn time I got to crush on someone who hadn't been branded by Bella first.


	13. Halfway To Normal

_**First of all, THANK YOU all so much for your response to the last chapter. It shocked the hell out of me and made me all misty eyed like the sentimental drama queen that I am. You all rock. **_

_**Secondly, the thing about me and deadlines is, I lie. I don't do it intentionally, but I always seriously underestimate the amount of story I have to write, and overestimate the amount of time life is willing to give me to do it in. So I'm sorry this second part of Elisa's chapter took so long to get to you. **_

_**On the other hand, this chapter is super long and I really should have divided it again, but I promised you all poetry boy crushing in this chapter, and I was determined to deliver. Enjoy!**_

**Halfway To Normal**

**_Elisa:_**

_Sorry I'm not home right now  
I'm walking into spiderwebs  
So leave a message  
And I'll call you back  
A likely story, but leave a message  
And I'll call you back  
_

_'Spiderwebs', No Doubt_

"Elisa, how long are you going to keep this up?"

Rosalie's voice was impatient. I looked up from my position behind the kitchen counter to see her surveying me, her brow furrowed in irritation.

"Keep what up?" I asked, but almost immediately lost interest in her answer. My attention was caught by the voice coming from the tiny television set perched on another nearby counter. An overly cheery TV chef was cheerfully rolling a ball of dough between her plump hands and I copied the movement, picking up my own clump of dough from the glass bowl before me.

"This!" Rosalie gestured at the flour-covered counter before me. "This whole insane cleaning and baking kick you've been on for the past few days. What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Why would you think something's wrong with me? Maybe I just like to cook." My protest was half-hearted. I wanted her to stop talking so I could concentrate on what I was doing. Perfect piecrusts didn't just roll themselves, after all.

"Right. Elisa, you've been living with us for three months and in all that time, you've barely been able to operate a microwave. Now suddenly you're Martha Stewart's demonic love child. I _know_ something's up." Rosalie put her hands on her hips and surveyed me with a clenched jaw.

I ignored her, dropping my perfectly round ball of dough on the middle of the counter and beginning to roll it flat.

A gentle cough sounded in my ear and I reluctantly looked up, belatedly realizing that Rosalie was not the only person in the kitchen with me. She was flanked by Esme and Emmett, who were both watching me with concerned expressions.

"Sweetheart, are you absolutely positive nothing's bothering you? After all, I did find you scouring your bathroom floor with a toothbrush at five in the morning." Esme's voice was tentative as she looked at me, and the blatant worry in her tone wasn't as easy to shake off as Rosalie's irritation.

"Not to mention that you washed Rosalie's BMW. Twice." Emmett folded his arms across his massive chest.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I considered how to answer them. It's not as if I didn't know, even if I didn't want to admit it, that I was acting bizarrely.

It had been three days since the 'incident' as I now called it in my head to avoid recalling any details. The first day had been the worst. Despite my attempts to block it all out, my traitorous mind, which was so good at forgetting everything I _didn't_ want it to, refused to let go. I hadn't felt so close to crazy since the day when I had woken up from a dream only to find it was real, that Edward was dead because of me and everything in my world had changed. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't even think straight. I felt like once again I was losing my grip on reality.

I'd been desperate for a little mental peace, and I'd found it at three a.m. the following morning when insomnia prompted me downstairs for a nocturnal ice cream break. I'd accidentally dripped chocolate syrup on the kitchen floor. and in the process of wiping it up had found myself on my hands and knees scrubbing the entire floor with a sponge. Two hours of desperate cleaning later, I had stumbled back to my room with the scent of Pine Sol burned into my skin and tumbled gratefully into an exhausted sleep.

It was like an addiction for me now. The more washing, scrubbing, polishing, and shining I did, the less I thought about anything. When I ran out of things to clean, I turned to something else that required a lot of both concentration and mindless repetition - the culinary arts. Emeril Lagasse was my new best friend. Racheal Ray was my mentor. Julia Child was the ultimate goddess.

There was just no way I could explain this to any of my adopted family. There was also no way I could appease them; make myself stop and go back to being normal. I didn't even know if I _had_ a normal any more. I needed something to obsess over; at least until the sickening fear that overwhelmed me every time my thoughts got too close to the danger zone faded. I'd get over it all in time - why couldn't they just leave me alone until then?

Before I could even attempt to get my sluggish mind to come up with a way to stop Esme from worrying, we were distracted by the abrupt arrival of Alice. She raced into the kitchen soundlessly and came to a perfectly still stop before us.

"I have good news - " She stopped speaking abruptly as she took in the tableau before her. "What are you all staring at?"

"We're watching Elisa bake a pie. From scratch. She spent an hour peeling apples she picked herself from the orchard. It was _riveting_." Rosalie informed Alice dourly. And here I thought _I_ overused sarcasm.

Alice's eyebrows rose slightly as she watched me press my flattened dough into the pie pan.

"How very...domestic." She murmured, and then turned back to the others. "Anyway, I was about to tell you - "

She broke off again, staring at Emmett. "What in the world happened to your _pants_?"

Emmett looked down at the black trousers he was wearing, grimacing at the way they were bursting at the seams and stopped a good two inches short of his ankles, showing a vast expanse of white sock.

"Err...Elisa washed them for me." He smiled weakly.

"In the washing machine?" Alice's voice rose slightly. "Elisa, how did you miss the tag that said 'dry clean only'?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled, concentrating on matching the edges of the pie dough to the pan. "Oh, right. Sorry about that."

Alice shook her head and turned back to Emmett. "I can't stand it. You look like Urkel. Please, go change!"

Emmett looked down as Rosalie grimaced. "Well, see, actually Elisa, uh -"

Alice looked horrified as she realized what he was trying to say. "She did that to _all_ of your pants?" She closed her eyes as if in actual physical pain. "All that Prada...the Italian leather..."

"Next time I'll be more careful." I said, vaguely aware of the need to defend myself.

"Next time?" Alice croaked, turning to me. "Elisa, please understand that what I'm about to say does not mean that I adore you any less. However, if I ever catch you manhandling any of the designer clothing in this house again, especially if it's _mine_, there is no force in this universe that will stop me from killing you and hiding the body. Are we clear on that?"

"Sure. Whatever you say." I shrugged, eyes back on the TV as the onscreen chef went into near spasms of joy over the prospect of filling our pie with actual fruit.

I barely noticed when the four of them suddenly lifted their heads all at the same time and broke out into smiles.

"_Finally!" _Emmett exclaimed, grinning broadly.

"That's what I was trying to tell you." Alice beamed happily.

I distantly registered the sound of a car door slamming as I spooned apple filling into the pan.

"Thank God, the cavalry's here. Maybe they can talk some sense into her." Rosalie smirked at me.

"Huh?" I asked, finally distracted enough to look up. "What's going on?"

"Bella and Edward are home." Esme's smile was jubilant as she turned towards the front door, the others right behind her.

"_Really?" _I squealed, all thoughts of baking instantly forgotten.

The sound of the front door opening answered that question and I raced into the hallway and towards the foyer, the rest of them patiently matching my human pace.

I hurled myself into Edward before he was barely through the door. He laughed as he hugged me back. "We missed you too, Elisa."

"Sure, you did." I rolled my eyes, but smiled as Bella stepped over the threshold, looking around her with wide eyes. She hugged me as well, and then I stepped back to let the rest of the family at them.

Alice hurled herself at Bella with even more excitement than I had, then she nearly leapt at Edward. I watched as the rest of the family greeted them as well, the jubilant mood of a family reunited almost ringing through the air. Even Jasper appeared from wherever he'd been exiling himself to greet them. The only person missing was Carlisle, who was at work.

I had missed Bella and Edward even more than I'd realized, I thought as I stood there, watching. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears again as I looked at them. _Perfect. _I was such a sap. I took sapdom to a completely new level. I was _saptastic._

Edward caught my eye and grinned at that and I flushed slightly, realizing he was hearing my thoughts quite clearly. I had let my guard down in the weeks that he wasn't around and now I felt vulnerable and exposed all over again. This wasn't good. I had learned from my previous experiences with him quite well. The more I tried not to think about Things That Must Not Be Remembered, the more I would. I was instantly desperate for more distractions. Maybe I could clean the gutters. Or -

"My pie!" I exclaimed suddenly. Everyone turned to stare at me. "Sorry." I flushed slightly. "It's just...I've got to get it in the oven. I want it to be done by dinner. Oh!" I brightened. "Now that Bella's here, I have someone to cook for. I'm going to make something special. I'd better go check out some recipes."

Bella stared at me. "_You_ cook? Since when?"

Esme turned back to me, her brow furrowed. "Elisa, can't all that wait? I'm going to take Edward and Bella to see their wedding present. You worked so hard on it - don't you want to be there?"

"Oh, no." I backed away. "It's fine. You all go ahead. Have fun." Before anyone else could protest, I hurried back into the kitchen.

After a moment's quiet conversation, I heard the rest of them head out the front door. Voices and laughter drifted back to me as they all walked past the kitchen window, following the path down to the carriage house. I felt a twinge of regret. I would have really liked to be there with them when Bella and Edward saw their new place for the first time. At the same time, it was a relief to be away from Edward's mind reading abilities and safe on my own little island of denial.

I turned the volume on the television set up and prepared to lose myself once more.

**x.X.x**

I watched anxiously as Bella dug her fork into the pasta and took a tentative bite. She chewed for a moment and then gave me a startled glance.

"This is actually..._good_." She stared down at her plate. "You made this by yourself?"

"Thanks for sounding so surprised." I huffed, leaning back in my seat.

Bella laughed. "I'm sorry. It's just that...I had no idea you were interested in this sort of thing. You didn't need to go to so much trouble just for me."

We were in the formal dining room - the first time we'd used it since moving in. Esme had clearly wanted to celebrate Edward and Bella's homecoming. Everyone was there, even Jasper. While the rest of the family was seated around the table while Bella and I ate though, he was leaning against the far wall, there and watching, but not interacting. For a moment, I had a rush of guilt, despite my anger towards him. He was pulling away from everyone...because of me. His clear unease was taking its toll on Alice as well. Sometimes, when she didn't realize anyone was watching, her face was dark, haunted.

Edward was looking at her now as well, and I wondered if he was following my thoughts or whether he'd just been thinking the same thing too.

I turned my attention back to Bella and what she had been saying.

"It wasn't any trouble, Bella. You won't be eating human food much longer. Might as well enjoy it while you can. Plus, once you go I won't have anyone to practice on." I forced a bright smile.

An awkward silence fell at my words but I made myself continue. "Have you decided when you're leaving?"

Bella and Edward exchanged an uncomfortable glance but it was Carlisle who spoke.

"I've arranged with the clinic to take two weeks off starting this Friday. We'll leave Thursday night for Alaska." His eyes were wary as he looked at me.

Thursday night. That was in three days. Only three measly days until Edward and Bella walked out of my life. I stared down at my plate for a long moment, feeling my appetite disappear.

_Don't you dare cry. _I scolded myself. _Look at how happy they are together. They deserve to stay that happy for eternity. Don't make this harder on Bella by acting like a brat._

I looked back up to see everyone staring at me. From the looks on their faces, they were all bracing for an outbreak of hysterics on my part.

I forced a shaky smile. "That's...great." I murmured lamely. I mean, really, even if I wasn't about to start bawling, what do you say in a situation like this? Have a nice death? Try not to eat anybody?

Everyone was still staring at me and it was getting harder and harder to keep smiling.

_Edward, do something. Make them stop looking. I can't stand it. _

Edward took pity on me as I knew he would. "Are you finished, Bella?" He asked, looking at her empty plate, and then shooting a quick look around the table.

Everyone began to talk at once, breaking the stilted silence, and relieved, I stood up and reached for Bella's plate.

"Elisa, you cooked. Let me clean up." Bella smiled at me.

"No, no, I don't mind. You guys just got here. Hang out and relax."

Bella started to protest but something about the look on my face had the words dying on her lips. Gratefully, I stacked the dishes and retreated to the kitchen. Once there, I filled the sink with water hot enough to scald my hands, and began to scrub the plate I held until the heat burned every other thought out of my mind. Until there was no more need to block out unwanted memories, no more grief for Edward and Bella, nothing but an empty oblivion...

**xXx**

An hour later, the dishes were washed and the kitchen had been mopped, polished, and sanitized into submission. I looked around at its gleaming surfaces and had to admit there was absolutely nothing left for me to do.

As if she were the mind reader instead of Edward, Alice appeared in the doorway nearly on cue.

"All done?" She said brightly. "Good. Come and join us in the living room. I tivo'd Gossip Girl for you."

I hesitated. "Maybe in a little while." I mumbled, looking around. There had to be something I was forgetting to do.

_Maybe I should wax the floor..._

"Oh no, you don't." A new voice spoke up and I looked up once more to see Edward this time. He was looking at me with a most perturbed expression. "The mindless repetition of your thoughts is maddening. I am not going to listen to you chant _'wax on, wax off' _for the next few hours."

"I told you, Edward." Rosalie said from behind him, and I saw to my surprise that Bella and Emmett were crowding into the kitchen as well. "She's been like this for days. Clearly, she's broken. Fix her!"

"What is this? Why are you all in here?" I stared at the row of faces gazing down at me. "Is this like...an _intervention_?"

Alice cocked her head to the side, considering. "I suppose that's a good of a word as any."

I clenched my jaw in aggravation. Who did they think they were? Overreacting, neurotic vampires plus one, that's who. There was nothing wrong with me being a little more responsible than usual.

I stared at Edward with pleading eyes, begging him silently to put a stop to this but his face remained impassive.

"Well...get on with it then." I finally snapped through gritted teeth when no one spoke. "Should we all sit in a circle and talk about our feelings?"

Edward cleared his throat, opened his mouth, and then stopped for a minute. He turned to Rosalie. "Actually, Rose, I think you should be the one to talk to Elisa."

"What?" Rosalie sputtered. "Why _me_? Edward, you should do it. You're the one with all the practice at dealing with recalcitrant humans."

Bella made a face at that and Edward chuckled before he looked back at his blonde sister.

"Elisa looks up to you, Rosalie. She'll listen to what you have to say. Go on now."

Edward stepped back and at the same time Emmett gently shoved Rosalie forward until she was standing inches from me.

"Well...I..." Rosalie gave the rest of them a clearly frustrated look and turned back to me. "Elisa, listen...it's just that..." She stopped. "Edward, please! You know I'm not good at this sort of thing."

It was odd, watching her stumble over her words. She was generally so self-assured and unshakable. I must have really been getting on her nerves.

Edward didn't step forward to bail her out and I felt bad for putting her in such an awkward position. "Rosalie, it's ok. You don't need to say anything. I'm sorry I've been irritating you so much. I'll try to stay out of your way more."

Rosalie exhaled, her hands nervously tangling together.

"I think you're missing the point, Elisa. It's not so much that you have irritated me...though you have. It's more that I am -"

She looked up at the ceiling then, as if wishing it would fall in on her and save her from this conversation. "I am _concerned_. You've been so different lately. I...well, I liked you the way you were. I wish you'd go back to that. So if something has upset you and made you act this way, you should tell us. And then, you know...get over it. Quickly."

Rosalie stepped back then, looking greatly relieved. "I'm done."

Edward patted her shoulder as she stood next to him, although he looked a bit as if he wanted to laugh. "You did great, Rose."

She rolled her eyes at him and then looked back at me.

"Oh." I was completely at a loss for words. "Um...thanks, Rosalie."

There was another tongue-tied pause, and then finally Edward spoke again. "So, Elisa? Is there anything you want to tell us?"

This was it, my chance to get it all out and have a heart to heart that would probably lead to my long-term incarceration in a top of the line mental institution. So, was I ready to share?

_No_. _Absolutely not. Hell to the N - O. No times infinity. _

"OK, Elisa. I get the point." Edward grimaced.

"Wait a minute." Bella suddenly moved to the front, standing directly before me. "I know what this is about."

_Uh oh. _"You do?" I fought the urge to bite off all my fingernails in one motion.

Bella sighed. "It's because we're leaving, isn't it? You feel like we're abandoning you."

I froze. I'd spent the last hour putting that out of my mind and to have it brought up so abruptly again, before I had a chance to put up my defenses, was like being punched in the face.

I didn't say anything but the tears welling in my eyes were clearly enough of a response. The expressions on their faces were pained now, and in the case of Bella and Edward, guilty as well. I wanted to say something to make them feel better but I was afraid if I opened my mouth I'd sob instead.

Bella shuffled from foot to foot, looking much as Rosalie had, as if she wished someone else would take over for her. Her face was resolved, however, when she finally looked back at me.

"I wish it could be different. I wish we had more time with you. It's not like Edward and I don't realize how much we're going to miss. You're already a teenager. You're going to grow up and we won't get to see it. It's just that...not all of this is in our hands. I've made my choice but if I don't follow through, it won't only be a danger for me, but for all of us, including you. We can't ever give the Volturi an excuse to come here."

"I know." I whispered. "I understand all that, really. I don't blame you at all. I just - " I couldn't finish.

There was a long quiet, and then Bella looked over her shoulder at Edward. I couldn't see her expression but he immediately moved to her side.

"What is it?" I heard him whisper to her.

Bella bit her lip. "I've actually been thinking that - well, we don't exactly have to leave this Thursday, do we?" She turned to me again.

For a moment I was speechless, then I finally grasped what she was saying. "You mean...you might stay?"

"Just for a little while longer." Bella said hastily. "A couple of weeks, perhaps, long enough to see you settled in school. Pretty soon you'll be so busy you won't have time to miss us."

Before I could start jumping up and down like a five year old at Chuck E. Cheese, Alice broke into a dazzling smile. "You're going to be here for your birthday."

"What? No, I'm not!" Bella looked horrified.

Alice continued to grin. "Oh yes, you are."

"Really?" I squealed. "That would be so awesome - we could have a party and I can bake you a cake and - " I stopped at the expression on her face. "Or not."

Bella surveyed my face for a moment and sighed. "I suppose nineteen's not that much older than seventeen. Fine. Until my birthday. We can leave the day after." She looked up at Edward now. "If that's alright with you."

Edward smiled down at her and then kissed the top of her head. "Whatever you want." They stared at each other dreamily for a long moment and I almost expected violins to start playing in the background.

Emmett cleared his throat loudly. "Later for that, lovebirds. Focus. It's great that you two are staying and all, but you might want to clear it with Carlisle first since he already arranged his time off."

"No need." Carlisle's voice rang out behind us and we all whirled around to see him and Esme standing just beyond the doorway, arm in arm. Both were smiling. "It won't be a problem to rearrange my schedule. Thank you, Bella, for this. It's appreciated more than you know."

He looked from her to me and I realized then just how much he'd been worried that Bella and Edward's departure was going to send me off the deep end. I smiled guiltily. Considering the way I'd acted the past few days, he hadn't been far off the mark.

I looked back at Bella, taking a deep breath so my voice wouldn't shake when I spoke. "Thank you, Bella." I wished I could have told her outright what it meant to me that she and Edward would put off something so important on my behalf, but I couldn't find the words.

Bella smiled. "Well, now that that's settled, are you going to finally come hang out with us, or do you have some more obsessive cleaning to do?"

I paused for a moment, thinking it over. I felt strange, as though I'd come out of a deep fog and I could see everything so much more clearly now. I didn't want to go back into that fog. I wanted to make the most of the time I had left with Edward and Bella. I knew, even with this temporary reprieve, that it was still going to hurt like hell when they left, but I'd deal with that. I'd survived worse after all.

As for the 'incident'... I tensed automatically, pretending I didn't see the slight confusion on Edward's face. I'd deal with it later. Or not at all. There had to be a way to avoid obsessing about it that didn't involve permanent dishpan hands and a possible addiction to cleaning fumes.

I looked at Alice now. "Did you say something about recording Gossip Girl?"

Alice laughed and slung her deceptively delicate looking arm over my shoulder.

"Welcome back, Elisa. We missed you."

**xXx**

Morning light filtered through the dining room window, illuminating the room as I carried plates to the table.

"Bella, I hope you like your eggs scrambled. I haven't exactly gotten around to learning how to cook them any other way yet."

Bella raised her eyebrows as I set the plate before her. "Scrambled is fine but..." She and Edward exchanged concerned looks across the table. "I thought you were over this whole crazy Stepford Wife kick you've been on."

I giggled as I scooped two pancakes off the platter I was holding and onto her plate. "I am. I promise. I'm tired of smelling like Comet all the time. It's just that it turns out, oddly enough, I'm actually good at the cooking stuff."

I sighed now as I thought about the irony of that. My mother couldn't get me to boil water before, and now that I lived with a family of non-eating vampires, I start making like Betty Crocker. Leave it to me to turn up with a talent that was nearly useless.

Edward frowned at me from behind the newspaper he was pretending to read so Bella wouldn't get self-conscious about chewing next to him. He didn't comment though, and for that, I was grateful. It was already hard enough getting used to having to share my head all over again.

The three of us were mostly quiet as Bella and I finished breakfast, but it was a comfortable quiet. It was nice to see that they were making such a clear effort to spend time with me, when I knew they would probably rather be holed up at the carriage house doing things I really didn't want to think about.

I hazarded another quick glance at Edward's expression at that but his face remained blank this time, eyes still on his reading. I forced myself not to smile and returned to finishing the last few bites of my pancakes.

Alice came strolling into the kitchen at that moment.

"Good morning." Her white teeth flashed at us. "Bella, Charlie's going to call your cell in seven minutes. He misses you."

Bella straightened up and felt her pockets. "I left it at the carriage house." She grimaced and jumped up. "I'd better hurry."

"I can -" Edward began but Bella waved him off.

"Stay. I'll be back in a little while." She dashed out of the dining room.

"Bella, don't - " Alice called after her. In the distance we heard a thud.

"- run." Alice shook her head, smiling.

"I'm OK!" Bella called out to us just as Edward jumped to his feet. We heard the front door open and close and he sat back down, looking resigned.

"She looks happy." Alice told Edward softly as she sat down in Bella's vacated seat.

He sent a gloriously incandescent smile at her, making her laugh outright. "Apparently, she's not the only one."

As they continued to talk, I let my thoughts drift away into mindless daydreams and random thoughts. It was a couple of minutes before I became distantly aware of any of their semi-silent communication again.

"You were right. I needed to have more faith. Thank you." Edward was telling Alice now, his expression intense. "I owe you a great deal."

Alice's smile held a hint of wickedness now. "Yes, you do."

I finished the rest of my orange juice, wondering what they were talking about.

Edward's own expression turned light once more. "You definitely stacked the odds. The nightgown was a nice touch, by the way."

"I can't take the credit for that one, actually." Alice shook her head and looked over at me. "Elisa picked it out."

"Hmm?" I said, slowly catching up. "Oh, Bella's nightgown! We found it in a vintage shop. It was _so_ her. Did she like it?"

Edward didn't answer. He stared at me for a long moment. "That's it. I am not getting you a car for your birthday."

"What?" I was bewildered. What had I done now?

Edward slowly broke into another incredibly wide grin. "I'm getting you a _fleet_."

"Oh." I laughed then. "So she did like it." I watched his face. "No..._you_ liked it. You liked it _a lot_." I shuddered. "Thanks for sharing, Edward, but that was one scenario I really didn't want to imagine."

Alice laughed and grimaced at the same time.

"If you think _imagining_ it is bad, try getting the full visual." She made a face as she exited the kitchen.

Edward went back to his paper, looking a bit uncomfortable now.

"Poor Alice. Bet she wishes her gift had a refund policy sometimes." I muttered, mostly to myself, as I stood up and took my plate to the sink to rinse it off. Not that I wasn't happy to know that everything had worked out for them, but the mere idea of Bella and Edward getting buck wild was massively uncomfortable for me. And - well, kind of gross.

"Elisa, please! If you must think about my sex life, could you at least come up with a more discreet term than 'buck wild'?" Edward was making a face at me over his paper.

"Nobody asked you to listen." I tossed back at him absently, not really paying attention. I was a little startled by my own reactions. The way I felt around Edward, and my thoughts about him and Bella were..._different_. Something had changed for me, and I was trying to put my finger on what.

I thought about it for a moment, and then realization began to set in. I gazed at Edward thoughtfully and he stared back, still looking perturbed.

Could it be? Really? I decided to test my new theory. Deliberately, I called forth one of my most frequent pre-traumatic death fantasies. As it sprang to Technicolor life in my mind, my daydream self (still me, but taller, and with perfect hair) pressed her lips eagerly against daydream, Bella-free Edward.

As the image blossomed in both our minds, Real Edward winced so violently that his chair skidded halfway across the kitchen. He looked thunderstruck.

"I_ know_!" I beamed in answer to his horrified expression. "Isn't it justrepulsive?"

"What?" He croaked, looking like he wanted to bolt out the door. It seemed he was still so shocked by the vision I had just forced on him that he didn't quite understand what I was getting at.

"Don't you see, Edward? The idea of you and me together is just, like...sickening! Do you understand what this means? I'm _totally_ over you!"

Edward stared blankly for another moment. "You are?"

"Yes!" I burbled joyfully, beginning to dance around the kitchen. "Thank you, Gods of Inappropriate and Awkward Crushes, for letting me off the hook! This is going to make my head such a better place to be!"

I stopped prancing when I caught sight of Edward's still bemused expression. A little late, I realized that my utter joy over this newfound revelation could be coming off as somewhat insulting.

I hesitated. "Look, it's not like you aren't still gorgeous and great and all that. It's just that - well, I guess that I really do see you as more of a brother type now. Besides, you're kind of annoying, with the mental eavesdropping and the superiority complex. No offense."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Of course not. I simply can't imagine why I'd find your sudden revulsion towards my person in the _least_ bit offensive." He frowned. "And I don't have a superiority complex."

I rolled my eyes. "You _so _do."

"I so do not!" He protested, and then he looked horrified all over again. "Oh _no_. Your Valley Girl teen speak - it's catching!"

I rolled my eyes at his droll tone, ignoring the jab about the way I talked. "Oh come on, Edward. Don't tell me you're not relieved about the end of the whole crush ordeal."

Amusement was beginning to creep into his face now. "I don't know, Elisa. I feel rather..._bereft_." His eyes danced.

"Ha ha. Funny."

Edward chuckled. "In all seriousness though, Elisa, I truly didn't mind it. I was honored to be that high in your affections. I can see that you don't pick them lightly."

"No, I guess I don't." I mused, more to myself than to him. After a moment's quiet, I looked back at him. "You're still high in my affections, Edward. Just...not _that_ way any more."

I turned away to clear off the table and then looked to see him still watching me, his eyes speculative now.

"I don't suppose your change of heart has anything to do with a certain Jacob Black, does it?"

I shot Edward a dirty look as I reached for a sponge to clean off the table with. "Have I mentioned lately that I really, really hate that whole mind reading thing you do?"

He did not rise to the bait; just continued to watch me with his far too observant golden eyes.

I sighed. "Look, the whole Jacob thing was no big deal. It was just a little crush. Took me like two days to get over it."

I bit my lip as he smiled slightly. "OK, more like two weeks. The point is, there was no hope there. He barely noticed my existence. Do I look like the kind of girl who enjoys beating a dead horse?" I paused for a moment as my words created unwanted mental images. "Ew."

Edward had an odd look on his face that I was pretty sure had nothing to do with any dead horse imagery I'd inadvertently sent him. He eyed me for a moment, looking contemplative.

"I wouldn't exactly say that he didn't notice you, Elisa. In fact, I think you may have had more of an impact than you realize."

I shook my head. "Edward, I'm not weeping under the covers at night over him. You don't need to try to make me feel better."

"I'm not." He stood up now, reaching into his pocket. "I found this in the mailbox the morning we left Forks."

He tossed me something and I reached out and caught it automatically. It was a padded manila envelope, smaller than my hand. My name was scrawled on the front in bold, unfamiliar handwriting. Curious and a little confused, I opened it. Something tiny fell out immediately and I barely managed to catch it before it hit the floor.

I turned the small object over in my hands curiously. It was an intricate wooden carving and I immediately recognized the craftsmanship - it was the same quality as the beautiful wolf charm that Jacob had carved for Bella. But this wasn't a wolf...it was a tiny flower, intrinsically detailed, and stained a pale blue.

I stared at it for a moment and then looked inside the envelope. There was a folded piece of torn notepaper inside with just one short sentence.

_'Told you I wouldn't forget.'_

I blinked rapidly and looked back at the wooden flower in my hand.

"It's a forget-me-not." Edward explained quietly.

I couldn't speak. I just stood there, holding the charm, along with Jacob's note, and wondered if there was a polite way to ask Edward to leave so that I could cry in private.

When I looked up again, he was already gone.

**xXx**

I'd been sitting on my bed, holding Jacob's charm in my hand and staring into space for who knew how long when there was a quiet knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called, hastily stashing the charm on my nightstand.

The door opened and Bella walked in, dangling a set of car keys from her fingers. I looked back at the sunlight that beamed through my window, wondering where she was going. Edward couldn't take her out in this weather, at least not any place public.

"Pretty." Bella murmured, looking around my bedroom and I realized it was the first time she'd been in it.

"Thanks. It's all Esme though." I looked at her curiously. "What's up?"

"There's been a little change in your plans for today." She told me, absently playing with a lock of her hair.

"I didn't know I had any plans for today." I said, a little confused.

Bella smiled as she moved closer to the bed. "I think it was supposed to be a surprise. The principal of your new school offered to give you a private tour and a chance to meet some of your teachers before school starts next week. With this though - " she gestured at the bright day outside "- Carlisle and Esme can't risk going out. That means I get to take you." She jangled the car keys. "We've got to be there in an hour so get moving."

I jumped off my bed, excited at the thought of getting a preview of the place where I'd soon be spending half my life, and headed to the mirror to make sure I wasn't looking completely heinous. Bella waited patiently as I ran a brush through my hair and put on a coat of lip-gloss.

When I was finished, I turned away from the mirror to see Bella still standing next to my bed. She was looking at a small object she held carefully between her fingers. With a slight sinking of my heart, I recognized what she was staring at. It was the forget-me-not I'd left on the nightstand.

"Uh..." I had no idea what to say.

Bella looked up at my stammer and to my relief, she was smiling. "It's beautiful." She said, no hint of surprise in her voice and I immediately realized why.

"Edward told you about it."

She nodded, walking over to me and gently lifting my hand. She touched the golden bracelet around my wrist; the one Edward had given me. "Were you not wearing it because you were afraid it would hurt me?"

I nodded, blushing slightly.

"Thought so." Bella fastened the charm to my bracelet and we both looked at it for a moment, dangling there against my wrist. "Elisa, you're not taking anything from me. I don't have any claim on Jacob."

There was nothing I could say to that, or at least nothing that she would want to hear. I just smiled weakly as my fingers traced the flower.

"It's too bad that the two of you didn't have more time together." Bella's eyes were thoughtful as she watched me. "Who knows what could have happened?"

I sighed. I knew what could have happened. A whole lot of nothing, that's what. She may not think that she had any claim on Jacob but he was hers anyway, signed, sealed, and delivered, even if there had been part of him that had looked at me and regretted it.

"Elisa?" Bella's voice was lower now and I looked up to see her eyes filling with tears. "Do you really think that..." She hesitated. "That he's going to be alright?"

_No. _"Yes." I lied. "It'll probably take some time, but he's going to be fine. Better than fine, even."

Bella exhaled, her face losing some of its sadness. "You're right. He will be. Anyway, we really should get going."

Both of us relieved at the change of subject, we left the room and hurried down the stairs. After a quick goodbye to the others, we were in Bella's Mustang and headed down the long rural road leading towards the highway into town.

I admired the interior as we drove, twisting around in my seat to check everything out. "Bella, this is the coolest car _ever_." I announced after a moment.

She looked over at me and laughed, the wind blowing her hair into her eyes. "I know."

Her smile faded slightly as she looked at the upcoming highway signs and she dug the paper with the directions to Sullivan High School off the dashboard.

Belatedly I realized she was even less familiar with St. John's than I was. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" I asked her as she looked over the paper.

A sigh was her only response. I giggled. "We're going to get lost, aren't we?"

Bella wrinkled her nose. "Probably." She admitted, and then we both laughed.

Surprisingly though, Bella did pretty well for her first time driving around St. John's. We took a couple of wrong turns but with the assistance of some helpful locals we got back on track and arrived at the high school only about fifteen minutes after we were supposed to be there.

The principal, Mr. Wilkers, a short, nervous looking man with thin gray hair greeted us with what I thought was unusual enthusiasm. "Elisa Cullen!" He gushed, shaking my hand eagerly. "I've heard so much about you from your aunt and uncle. It's a delight to have you in my school this year. I'm sorry to hear that the flu kept them from coming with you today, but it's wonderful to meet your, uh - " He looked at Bella.

"Sister in law." Bella explained, smiling politely as he grabbed her hand with as much energy as he had mine.

"Excellent." Mr. Wilkers beamed and Bella and I exchanged bemused looks. "Unfortunately, I had to reschedule a last minute appointment and so I won't be able to take you on your tour personally." He looked almost devastated at this and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to avoid snickering. "However, my secretary, Marcie, will show you around the campus and then bring you back here and I'll answer any questions you have then. Your happiness, Elisa, is of paramount importance to all of us here at Sullivan High."

Huh? _Why? _I shot Bella another bewildered look as Mr. Wilkers showed us into the outer office to await the secretary, who had gone to get my class schedule.

When Mr. Wilkers, still stammering apologies, went back into his own office to await his appointment, I turned to her. "OK, either Canadians are like, super, no-boundaries-having friendly, or there's some serious butt kissing going on here."

Bella laughed. "From what I understand, Carlisle and Esme made a very generous donation to the school, one that kept their entire art department from being cut. I think you can expect special treatment for quite a while."

"Sweet." I grinned. "I hope word trickles down to my math teacher."

Bella chuckled as the secretary came bustling in, gushing just as much as the principal had.

The tour was nice, but nothing particularly interesting. The campus was fairly large and I knew I would never remember where all my classes were by the time school started the next week. I got to meet a couple of teachers as well, who seemed nice enough but not nearly as impressed by my new last name as either the principal or the secretary. Darn it. Maybe lenient grading wasn't in the cards after all.

Just as we were ushered back into the outer office, the principal's door opened and out came a flustered looked older woman with dull red hair. She was accompanied by a boy with shoulder length, dirty blond hair and a surly expression. Mr. Wilkers was right behind them and the look on his face was very different from the one he'd had when he spoke to me.

"Keep in mind, Mrs. Rafferty, that we are being very generous in allowing your son back this year after last year's debacle. Any more problems and expulsion will be our only option." He looked at the boy. "Is that clear?"

The boy didn't answer until his mother nudged his shoulder, her expression aggravated. Then he sighed heavily, shuffling his feet. "Yes, sir."

Mr. Wilkers caught sight of us then and his face went slightly red. He dismissed the mother and son with a glance and hurried forward to greet us once more. I moved aside to let the two of them pass. As the boy walked by me, he glanced at me for a brief moment, and I was caught short by the brilliant light blue of his eyes. My heart skipped a beat and I watched as they walked through the door and disappeared.

"Well, what did you think?" Bella asked twenty minutes later. We were back in her car, putting our seatbelts on, ready to go home. "Did you like the school?"

"Hmm?" My thoughts had drifted again and I had to drag myself out of another daydream in order to concentrate on what she was saying. "Oh, the school. Who cares? Did you _see_ that boy?"

"What boy?" Bella turned the key in the ignition and drove out of the parking lot.

"The boy in the principal's office! The gorgeous one with the incredible blue eyes!" I exhaled impatiently.

"Oh, him. He was alright, I guess." Bella's voice was disinterested as we sped down the road.

" 'Alright'?" I sputtered indignantly. "He was entirely hot! Oh, forget it. I don't know why I bother. You are _so_ picky. They can't all be sparkly, iridescent vampires or hunky, brooding werewolves, you know."

Bella laughed. "I suppose I do have pretty high standards." She admitted after a moment, blushing slightly.

"Definitely. I met Mike Newton at your wedding and he was totally adorable, yet you talked about him like he was some giant slug boy oozing on your shoes." I shook my head. "On the other hand, I guess it's a good thing you never encouraged your many admirers by showing any kind of interest. Imagine the battlefield your wedding day could have been if it had been full of spurned Bella suitors. It would have been like Helen of Troy all over again."

Bella blushed more. _"Shut. Up." _She muttered through gritted teeth.

"No, really. We're talking total Trojan War. Knife fights over the buffet, gun battles on the dance floor...the entire male population of Forks, maybe even some of the females, battling it out for the fair Bella's hand." I sighed dramatically.

"Smartass." Bella gave me a mock glower and I giggled the rest of the way back to the house.

**xXx**

The next few days went by almost too quickly. I was trying to hold on to each moment I got with Bella and Edward, making the most of these final days, but the time still flew by. At least I had the prospect of school and the new knowledge that at least one cute boy would be there to distract me.

I'd been restless the whole Sunday before school was to start, and as evening fell, I wasn't getting any more relaxed. Emmett offered to take me for another run, probably because Rosalie was going mad watching me pace all over the house, but Esme shot down that idea, saying it was too dark and cold. To placate me, Bella and Edward offered to stay in and have a movie night with the rest of us. I had serious doubts about whether I'd be able to sit still long enough to follow anything with a plot, but I agreed anyway.

As the two of them debated with Emmett and Rosalie over what movie to watch, I wandered into the kitchen looking for a snack and found a box of microwavable popcorn. I took one out and put it in the microwave, then leaned against the counter, tapping my fingers impatiently, waiting for it to be done.

Just as the first kernels began to pop, the phone on the wall next to me rang. I was the only one in the kitchen, so I picked it up.

"Cullen Residence." I said, using my best polite voice in case it was one of Carlisle's colleagues.

"Pet!" An unpleasantly familiar voice drilled into my ear. "Ah, how adorable; they've trained you to answer the telephone!"

I gnashed my teeth together with the effort it took to not respond to that, and dropped the phone on the counter as if it burned my fingers.

"It's Tanya." I grumbled to no one in particular.

Rosalie appeared almost instantly to pick up the receiver.

"Hello, Tanya!" I heard her exclaim.

I got my popcorn and retreated to the living room before I could give into the temptation to snatch the phone back and tell Tanya something that would definitely get me into trouble with Carlisle.

Emmett was already in the living room, sprawled on an easy chair in the corner and watching a loud action movie on the enormous flat screen TV. He looked bored.

I looked to see that Alice was perched in the window seat in the corner, generally Rosalie's favorite spot. I wondered if there was going to a territorial smack down over it later. She had a sketchbook on her lap, and her eyes were far away as her pencil moved rapidly across the paper.

On the loveseat in the opposite corner, Bella and Edward were curled together. If they were supposed to watching the movie, they weren't doing a good job of faking it. The two of them were staring into each other's eyes with equally dumbstruck, lovesick expressions. I didn't know why they even bothered with these little shows of 'family time'. It couldn't be more obvious that they were dying to get back to the carriage house where they could boink like bunnies in private.

Edward extracted himself from Bella long enough to shoot me a pained look, and I smirked as I settled myself on the long sofa in front of the television. After a moment, I realized I'd already seen the movie so I looked to the magazines on the coffee table for entertainment. Most of them were gossip rags, which clearly had been purchased with me in mind. I couldn't imagine there was anyone else in the house that cared about whether Britney was planning a comeback or Angelina and Brad were on the rocks. I picked one and settled back to read.

Several minutes later Rosalie strolled into the room.

"Tanya says hello." She announced to the room in general.

"That's nice." Alice still looked distracted, but she smiled as she responded. "How are they all?"

Rosalie smiled as she crossed the room to join me on the sofa. "Surprisingly well. Tanya sounded like she was in a wonderful mood. Apparently, Irina has made a turn around. She's been talking and even gotten out and about quite a bit. They're all so relieved."

I wondered idly what had been wrong with the vaguely familiar sounding Irina, and then returned to my magazine, only half listening to the rest of what Rosalie was saying.

"Tanya mentioned you, Edward. She said you were planning to bring Bella to them soon for a formal introduction to her family. Everyone is apparently very excited to meet your bride."

Across the room, Bella looked up, showing interest in the conversation for the first time. She gave Edward a quizzical look. "Am I missing something here?"

Edward looked as though he wished Rosalie hadn't said anything.

"Tanya wants to meet you." He finally admitted to Bella. "As well as the rest of her clan, apparently. She asked me to bring you by soon. I did not commit to it, however, no matter what impression she gave Rosalie. I wanted to talk to you about it first."

Bella looked contemplative for a long moment. "I think I'd like to meet her as well." She said finally. "Besides, if they are expecting us, it would be rude not to come. I don't want to cause a rift between all of you and your closest friends." She looked abruptly downcast. "At least not more than I already have."

Edward sighed. "Bella, what happened with Laurent was not in the least your fault and all of them know it. He got what he deserved. Tanya herself made a very clear point of telling me that none of them blame you."

I was definitely puzzled now. I had a feeling I should know what they were talking about, but many of the details I'd known about Bella and Edward in my old life were just as fuzzy as the rest of my past memories.

Edward was looking at me now. "Laurent was Irina's companion." He explained. "The werewolves killed him early this last spring when he tried to attack Bella."

"Oh!" Now I remembered. I turned to Bella then. "Whether they're over it or not, are you seriously going to go hang out with Tanya of your own free will?" I made gagging noises.

Rosalie laughed at the blatant ire in my tone. "Tanya's not so bad, Elisa. In fact, I think if you ever got to know her, you'd probably like her."

"That's unlikely." I mumbled under my breath.

Rosalie watched my unmoving expression and shook her head. "Don't judge her so quickly. You're so young, Elisa. Everything is so black and white to you. Either someone is a villain or they're not; there's no in between, no shade of grey."

I frowned. "What's so grey about it? She showed up at Bella and Edward's wedding and tried to steal the groom. That puts her pretty firmly in the villain category as far as I'm concerned. I mean, really, what kind of person does that?"

Rosalie shrugged. "A lonely one, perhaps. One who really doesn't understand what's she's missing in her life. Tanya has spent lifetimes never knowing love, and I think, without even realizing it, she's trying to seek it out. I feel for her."

Oh yay, a dissection of Tanya's character and motivations. Let me count the ways in which I _didn't_ care. With a subtle roll of my eyes, I went back to my magazine. At least Bella would be a raging newborn by the time she went to visit the Denali coven, and able to hold her own. Maybe Tanya would bat her eyes at Edward once too often and Bella would lose it and kill her. One could hope, anyway.

"Oh!" Rosalie said suddenly, as if she'd just remembered something, dragging my attention back to her. "Tanya mentioned something else."

Edward's head shot up and he sent Rosalie a fierce look. "You're just now deciding to tell us this?"

"Edward, she hasn't told us yet." Bella sighed and smiled at the same time. "Do you think she could finish a sentence before you start in on her?"

"Thank you, Bella." Rosalie said pointedly.

Edward looked irked - I'd bet good money that whatever Rosalie was about to say, he had not wanted Bella to hear. Too bad for him - she was going to be strong enough to kick his ass in a couple of weeks, so he might as well get over the whole hyper protective thing.

Rosalie was speaking again. "She said Sebastian had been there for a visit recently. He mentioned stopping by to see us next, but Tanya told him it wasn't a good time. She's pretty sure she talked him out of it."

Edward gritted his teeth. Bella looked as confused as I did. "Who's Sebastian?" She asked.

"A blight on the world." Edward mumbled, still giving Rosalie a murderous look.

"He's a family friend." Rosalie corrected.

Edward snorted loudly, obviously not in agreement.

Bella gave him an impatient look and then turned to Alice, who had been staring blankly out the window. "Alice, do you mind giving me a little back story here?"

"Oh." Alice smiled, still looking distracted. "Sebastian is a nomad, like many of us. He generally travels alone, but he's very well liked among our kind. He's stayed with us on several occasions, but he's never settled down anywhere for long. He's very charming, in his own way." The way she said that didn't make it sound like a compliment.

"Most sociopaths are." Edward grumbled, turning his '_stop talking' _glower on Alice now. She looked suitably unimpressed. They stared each other down for a moment, and then he turned back to Bella, looking resigned. "I'm sorry if I seem like I'm holding back. It's just - Sebastian is not trust worthy. The idea of him anywhere near you…or Elisa…" He shuddered.

Vitally interested in the conversation now that my name had been brought up, I leaned forward, my magazine forgotten. "Why? He hunts humans?"

Edward frowned. "No, actually. Like us, Sebastian sticks to an animal diet - mostly. It's not out of any type of reverence for human life, however. He sees mortals as little more than toys to be played with, and since he has no respect for them, he can't stand the idea of being dependent on them for anything, including sustenance. Like Alice said, he's very charming, but it's a front. He's manipulative and power hungry. He also has certain talents, but he's so blatantly untrustworthy that even the Volturi declined him when he tried to join their ranks. Sebastian would be delighted with the new, vulnerable element of our clan. He'd think of both of you as a tool to be used in whatever way could benefit him. Such as selling Elisa out to the Volturi if it won their favor."

The room went instantly tense. I could see Rosalie had not thought of that, and her eyes were alarmed now.

Everyone looked at Alice expectantly, but her face had already gone blank. He waited patiently for a moment, and then as her eyes returned to life his own expression became relieved.

"He's definitely not coming." Alice informed the rest of us as Edward leaned back on the couch. "He's on a ship. I couldn't see exactly where he was headed, but it's far - not anywhere near here. I don't think he'll be back in our part of the world for quite a while."

"Well, that's that then." Rosalie looked relieved. She threw a glance at Edward and he smiled at her, his irritation with her apparently forgotten. In fact, the entire atmosphere in the room was rapidly becoming more relaxed. For a moment, I thought it was just the communal relief at Alice's pronouncement, but then a slight prickling on the back of my neck had me turning around.

Jasper was there, standing near the doorway. I stared at him curiously for a moment, realizing suddenly that he'd been around a lot more lately. Quiet, and on the fringes, but most definitely present, much more so than he had been in months.

With a jolt, I noticed that he was looking right back at me. I flinched nervously, and lowered my eyes, but not before I saw that his expression wasn't hostile as it had been so often in the past. He'd looked almost...contemplative, as if he were trying to figure out a hard to solve puzzle. Unease rippled through me at the thought and I wasn't quite sure why.

Determinedly, I stared back at the movie on the television, forcing myself to pay attention to it. I didn't take my eyes away from it until it was over, and when I finally allowed myself to glance up, both he and Alice were gone. I felt a sense of relief that was far stronger than the relaxing vibes that he'd pumped into the room earlier.

I yawned widely, stretching my arms above my head, seeing now that Bella and Edward were gone too. I wondered if they'd made a run for it as soon as the credits starting rolling on the screen or if they'd snuck out before.

"It's a big day tomorrow - you should go to bed." Rosalie told me. She and Emmett were on their feet as well.

I would have argued but I was too sleepy now to keep up the pretense. With a resigned smile, I said goodnight and headed towards my room.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I passed the shadows underneath the staircase, realizing belatedly that I wasn't alone. Jasper and Alice stood there, barely visible, wrapped in each other's arms. Alice was reaching up to smooth the hair away from his eyes and he was whispering something to her as his hands caressed her face, too low for me to hear.

Seeing them together, in what was clearly supposed to be a private moment, was far more embarrassing then it would have been if I'd caught any of the others the same way. Alice and Jasper didn't often show their affection towards each other in front of any of us and when they did, it always felt so much more intense.

Before I could turn away and rush up the stairs, they had spotted me and were apart in an instant.

"I didn't -" I began, but Jasper took a step back and disappeared. Alice turned towards me. My face was burning.

"I'm so sorry." I stammered. "I didn't mean to - well..."

Alice smiled reassuringly as she stepped towards me. "It's fine, Elisa." Her eyes scrutinized my face. "I hope you're on your way to bed. You look tired."

So did she, I recognized abruptly. There was a type of weariness clinging to her features that didn't belong on a vampire's face. The smudges under her eyes, indicating that she needed to hunt, only added to the impression that she needed a good night's sleep.

"Are you alright?" I couldn't help it; the words slipped out before I could stop them.

Alice looked startled for a moment, and then she laughed lightly. "Of course, silly. Why wouldn't I be?"

I didn't have the answer for that but I heard the false note in her voice. These past few weeks I'd thought the increasing darkness on her face, and the looks Edward had been giving her ever since he returned, were because of her concern over Jasper. Now I was wondering if it was something else completely.

Alice's smile faded as she returned my gaze. "You know, you are far more perceptive than someone your age should be." Her smile returned, rueful now, but genuine. "It's just..." She hesitated for a moment, and touched her head. "It never stops. Sometimes I wish it would just be quiet for a while."

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked.

"You can stop worrying about everyone else, and get a good night's sleep." Alice took my shoulders and turned me towards the staircase. "Goodnight, Elisa."

Her words were pointed, but her smile was impish now as I headed up the stairs.

"Goodnight, Alice!" I called back, but the hallway was already empty.

I continued up the stairs and was about to push open my bedroom door when I stopped.

I turned around and eyed the door to the library across the hall. I hadn't been in there since the 'incident'.

I thought about it, chewing a nail nervously and then, before I could lose my nerve, I walked over to the door and pushed it open.

Esme had left the lamps on in here, knowing my tendency for late night reading. I stepped inside hesitantly and immediately made my way to the window. I looked out across the grounds towards the carriage house, noting with relief that there was soft light filtering from the windows and a thin spiral of smoke coming from the chimney. Edward was far enough away that my thoughts were my own once again. Not that I was exactly sure that I wanted to think them.

I turned towards the fireplace and looked at the empty wall above it where Carlisle's cross had once hung. For a moment, I imagined that I could still see its faint outline on the wall. Or maybe it was my own guilty conscience projecting images for me.

I wasn't exactly sure what I was feeling guilty about and I sat down in the stuffed chair before the fireplace to think it over for a minute. After a few minutes of contemplation, I decided I felt guilty because...I should have told the others what had happened, with the cross breaking and then everything going wonky on me. Carlisle had asked me to trust and rely on them. Keeping this to myself felt like a betrayal after all they'd done for me. What was I afraid of, really? I knew they wouldn't really lock me up, even if every single one of them thought that I'd lost my mind.

It was just that...all I wanted now was to be normal. I was tired of the weirdness that constantly tried to hijack my life. I just wanted to go to school and hate it the way teenagers were supposed to, get picked on by some mean girls, crush on a few unattainable boys, date a couple of jerks, and get my heart crushed. Oh, and fail math. Again.

Those were all things that I understood, that I could deal with. _This_, whatever it was, I could not.

And if I told anyone about it, I couldn't pretend to be normal anymore. I'd have to face it. I was _so_ not ready for that. Maybe I would never have to be. Maybe it would never happen again. A girl could dream, right?

Speaking of dreaming...I hopped up to head back to my room. It was time to leave all this behind and focus on what awaited me tomorrow...my first day of school. Possibly the scariest thing I'd faced in the whole time I'd been here.

I opened the library door to step out into the hallway and nearly had a heart attack. Jasper was standing there, just outside the doorway, as if he'd been there all along. Maybe he had been.

Jasper was infuriatingly silent as I hyperventilated and tried to keep from passing out from shock. "Don't..." I gasped out after a minute. "...ever...do...that...again."

For a moment, he almost looked amused. I glared up at him. "Was there something you wanted?"

He didn't say anything. After a moment, I sighed in exasperation and whirled around to go to my room.

"Elisa."

His voice stopped me in my tracks. I turned back. He surveyed me for a long moment and then his eyes went dark. "Never mind." With that, he turned and loped gracefully down the hall.

"I'm so glad we had this talk!" I snapped after him. He didn't turn around or make any sign that he'd heard. I huffed my way inside my room and closed the door with an angry click. Almost immediately, I was disappointed with myself for rising to the bait. I definitely needed to practice that self-discipline that Carlisle had mentioned. It was just..._hard_. Especially when Jasper acted like someone had given him a handbook titled _101 Ways to Seriously Piss Off Your Adopted Human._

I looked at the clock on my nightstand and flinched. It was getting late and I needed my rest if I didn't want to be a baggy-eyed, sleep deprived fiend on my first day.

I wouldn't think about any of it, I vowed to myself as I got ready for bed. No freaky self-repairing cross memories, no swirly vortexes, no seriously aggravating Jasper. I would only concentrate on the mundane details of my ordinary existence. I was going to be just another regular girl at school tomorrow, no different than anyone else. Except, of course, for the very unordinary fact that I lived with a family of vampires.

I gritted my teeth at that and forced myself back to the happy land of denial.

One normal life, coming right up.

**xXx**

I was terrified.

It was far more frightening then I had thought I would be, standing there in the middle of the crowded hallway of Sullivan High, trying to make my way through the jungle.

I had never really had the experience of being the new girl before - at least not since the fifth grade, when my parents bought the house we'd lived in ever since. Even then though, I met Michelle and Rae and bonded with them almost immediately, so I never really had to worry about being totally stuck on my own.

This was different. I was not only in a different school but also in a different country and I felt as alien as I would if I had neon green skin and antennas. It was the feeling of being completely alone that I hated most of all.

Carlisle had decreed that none of the others would be enrolling in school with me. Not that any of them had been jumping up and down with excitement at the thought of pretending to be high school students again after having so recently graduated anyway. I think Emmett would have done it though, if I'd begged. Carlisle said, however, that the contrast between me and the rest of them, with my tendency to grow and change like a normal human, and their tendency to, well, _not_, would have been too obvious.

I suspected what he really meant by that was that, on my own, I was reasonably pretty and somewhat intelligent. In comparison to _them_, I was a plain Jane of epic proportions and a drooling cretin on top of it. The faculty and my fellow students would never be able to believe we'd come from the same family.

I shook off the depressing thoughts of my own inadequacy and looked down at my schedule again with a frown. The tour I'd taken was doing me no good at all. Everything looked completely different now, crammed full of students and teachers. I'd managed, through sheer luck, to locate and make it to my first two classes on time but now my good fortune seemed to have run out. I'd misunderstand the directions a harried teacher had barked at me, and if I was reading the poorly printed map of the school right, I was in the wrong wing entirely.

By the time I'd corrected my mistake and made it to the room where my Life Science class was held, the bell had rung three minutes ago. I just hoped the teacher would go easy on the new girl.

When I opened the door, every head turned around to look at me, and I could feel myself turning crimson. I tried to ignore my classmates' stares, turning to seek out the instructor, a tall, sour-faced man with a stringy comb over.

"Who are you?" He snapped, looking down at the notebook he held in his hand.

"Elisa Cullen." I was thankful I didn't stammer.

"Cullen..." His face wrinkled as he seemed to try to place the name, and then his lip curled. "Oh yes. The _doctor's_ daughter."

"Niece." I corrected, still standing with my back pressed against the classroom door.

The look he gave me clearly stated he didn't care if I was Carlisle's dog. "Just take your seat, Ms. Cullen."

Impatiently, he gestured towards the middle of the room. Belatedly, I realized that my classmates were all seated at shiny, two-person black topped tables, and there was only one available seat left for me to take.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw who occupied the other side of the table. It was the blond boy I'd seen at the principal's office after my tour the other day, the one I'd pointed out to Bella. _Sweet_. This class may not be so bad after all.

I took my seat, my spirits rising despite the annoyed frown on the teacher's face. He turned his attention back to the book he held.

I turned, smiling brightly, to greet the boy. "Hi." I whispered.

My smile faded instantly at the look on his face. He was glaring at me, even more heatedly then the teacher had, as if I'd insulted him and ruined his day by daring to sit next to him. I blinked in surprise, taken aback by the open hostility. My first instinct was to flush and turn away, but as he continued to glower, irritation began to burn inside of me. I stared back at him until he rolled his startling blue eyes and turned back towards the front of the room.

I took out my notebook and pen and slapped them on the table a bit harder than necessary. To think just a second ago I'd been happy to be seated near him. What a_ jerk_. Like I really needed this on my first day. What was his problem, anyway?

I fumed over it while the teacher continued calling roll and then an odd feeling of deja vu swept over me. This was...familiar. _Really_ familiar. I pondered it for a moment and then an unwitting, nearly silent chuckle burst from me. Of course! This was just like something I hadn't thought about in months and months...the day Bella and Edward first met.

I chewed idly on the tip of my pen as I tried to recall the details. As far as I could recall, it had been a scenario much like this one, only Edward had been glaring at Bella because he was so unnerved by the fact that he wanted to eat her. I snuck another surreptitious glance at the boy next to me, wondering if there was any possibility of him suppressing cannibalistic desires of his own. The thought made me smirk and apparently, he noticed, for his head turned towards me slightly again.

I looked away quickly but out of the corner of my eye I could see the near furious look he was giving me. I had to bite down on my lip to keep from giggling. Maybe it was because of the deja vu or maybe it was just because I was teetering on the edge of an emotional apocalypse, but the whole thing was starting to seem rather funny.

I snuck another sideways peek at him. For a moment I ignored his scowl, admiring his unusually blue eyes, wondering what they'd look like crinkled in laughter. His skin was oddly tanned too; strange in these parts, where the sun didn't shine often enough to make someone look as surfer boy as he did. He would have fit in perfectly back in my old high school. Here, he was somewhat of an anomaly.

"Rafferty, James?" The teacher was barking now, catching my attention.

"Present." My seatmate spoke, his tone bored.

_James? _His name was James? _Seriously? _I couldn't help it - I started to giggle again. It wasn't even that funny - it's not as if James was a particularly unusual name but the more I tried not to laugh at the coincidence the more I wanted to. I ended up opening my notebook and using it to shield my face, sure that my new crankmeister of a teacher would not take kindly to my sudden fit of hysteria. Luckily, I managed to keep the volume to a minimum so no one noticed.

Well, almost no one. James was giving me yet another frigid glance and I had to put my hand over my mouth to suppress my snickers. His eyes narrowed and if possible, became even colder.

I took several deep breaths and forced myself to keep looking towards the front of the room, trying to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. As I watched, the man took a piece of chalk from the frame below the chalkboard and wrote _'Mr. B' _in giant script across its dark green surface. Before I could wonder what the B stood for he turned and faced us with a look of long suffering resignation.

"Welcome to Life Science. I am your teacher, Mr. B. My actual surname is Baucienega, but as I have no wish to listen to my proud family moniker be mangled by the tongues of you intellectual lightweights, you will refer to me with the initial. Understood?"

I rolled my eyes. Why did there always have to be one mean, job hating, student loathing teacher in the bunch? At least I had him early in the day and could get the scheduled misery over with. Between Mr. B and James, I could predict that third period was going to be like a daily trip to the dentist, but without the fun of laughing gas.

Thinking about James had me looking back over at him before I could stop myself. Yep, he was still giving me the thousand-yard glare. I choked back a laugh and snatched my notebook back up as camouflage once more. The expression on his face at that was priceless. I hoped he'd give more dirty looks - watching him get madder and madder as I refused to cower before him was probably going to be the most fun I'd have all day.

James apparently had had enough. He leaned towards me, under the cover of my notebook.

"What is your _deal_?" His whisper was scornful.

I gave him a frigid stare of my own. "What's my deal? What's _yours_?" I whispered back. "You're the one who's glaring at me like I ran over your grandma - clearly, I am not the only person at this table with issues."

He looked startled, and just for a second I was certain I saw his lips twitch, like he wanted to laugh.

"I was trying to be intimidating." He informed me loftily, face cold again, and I decided I'd imagined it.

I rolled my eyes. "Really? Well, I'm trying to be annoying. Take a wild guess at which one of us is going to be more successful."

His lips started to form what I was sure would have been a _fascinating_ retort but just then Mr. B, who had come over unnoticed by either of us, slammed his roll book down on our table, making us jump.

"What do we have here, Elisa? James? Are we making a love connection?" He traced a sardonic heart in the air with his fingers.

Laughter rolled quietly around the room at his words and I turned scarlet. James merely looked extremely angry.

Mr. B, on the other hand, was clearly enjoying what was possibly his first public humiliation of a student this school year. "As happy as we all are for the two of you and your budding relationship, you are disrupting my class. Keep it up and I'll make sure you both get to spend plenty of time together…in _detention_!"

With that, he turned and strode back to the front of the room, looking very satisfied with himself.

I didn't dare look at James for the rest of the lesson. Mr. B droned on, boring us all stupid, and then proved his total Snapeness by assigning us a stack of first day homework. The bell rang amidst the disgruntled murmurs, and all of us rose and rushed gratefully to the door. I tried to catch James' eye as we both squeezed out the doorway but he didn't look at me. So much for hoping that our shared embarrassment would be a bonding experience.

I was too rushed, trying to find the rest of my classes, to think about James again until lunchtime. Out of all the mini ordeals I'd suffered throughout the day, that had to be the worst, walking into the cafeteria knowing absolutely no one and having no idea where to sit. Once again, I missed my old friends fiercely as I stood awkwardly, holding my lunch bag and trying to be subtle about sizing up the different groups. Where did I fit now?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a table full of girls eyeing me speculatively. I recognized several faces from various classes. More than that, I recognized the type. They were all dressed in the latest fashion, looking deceptively casual as they leaned into each other, talking in whispers and sizing other students up as they walked by. This was the group where cheerleaders were spawned and prom queens were crowned in public opinion long before the actual event.

They were the type of girls that I'd be sitting with if I were back in San Diego, the select few that would end up ruling the school that year and their obedient court. I'd never been the most popular girl in school but being part of the crowd that hung on her periphery, whoever she may be, was very familiar to me. I'd been a wanna be, I realized now with a pang. It was only those last few months in San Diego that I'd stopped caring about fitting in, and ironically enough, that was when Vanessa, the undisputed queen of my school, had taken me under her wing.

None of these girls looked like a Vanessa, who had defied every single stereotype of the typical high school mean girl, but the way they were staring at me was clearly an invitation. They recognized their own in me, it seemed, and I could walk over and join them at any point.

I almost did it. It would have been so comforting to fall back into old routines, but my life was different now and the old me was long gone. This crowd was the crowd that would get all the attention. I couldn't afford that. I didn't need Carlisle to show up and point out the hazards of being in the spotlight, a spotlight that might turn to my new family next. No, I needed to be anonymous, average, just another face in the crowd.

I sighed as I looked down at my outfit, one of the many eye-catching pieces that Alice had picked out for me. If I wanted to be anonymous, I might have to dress down a little. How sad.

Ignoring the piercing stares of the girls across the cafeteria, I sought out an empty corner of a long table and resigned myself to being a social pariah. Lunch dragged on, lonely and depressing. I was almost eager to get back to class, a disgusting turn of events. I couldn't go on like this every day. It just was not going to work. Maybe I wouldn't be aspiring to be head cheerleader anymore, but I was still going to need friends. Sitting alone and brooding every day might attract its own brand of unwanted attention anyway.

I let my eyes tour the cafeteria, looking for potential friend possibilities and my eyes lit on James, sitting two tables away. He was with a girl who was dressed all in black, complete with blood red lipstick and multiple piercings. _Way to live the Goth stereotype_, I thought to myself bitterly as I saw them put their heads together and start laughing over some private joke. I wondered what he saw in her. After all, he was pretty much dressed like any other boy in the school in his jeans and hooded blue sweatshirt. I never would have guessed him for one with a black leather fetish.

Despite my jealous internal sniping, I had to admit the girl he was with was extremely pretty underneath the heavy eyeliner. I wondered if she was his girlfriend and found myself extremely depressed by the thought. Not that I should have cared - he'd been nothing but a total jerk to me. Still, I did, and I might as well be honest with myself about the reason why. The boy was _hot _and he had that whole angsty, rebel boy thing working for him. I was _so_ shallow.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the torturous lunch period and gratefully, I pulled out my schedule once more.

The rest of the afternoon, in stark comparison to the morning rush, crawled by. It seemed like I was getting one of my wishes from last night already - school _sucked_. I couldn't believe I had nine months of this to endure. Just one more reason to never, ever want to be a vampire. Going through four years of high school hell was enough - I couldn't imagine having to repeat the experience every few years.

I was immensely relieved to be able to attend my final class of the day, English 10A. I was even more relieved when I walked in to find that the teacher was a friendly bear of a man who had given my lost self directions several times earlier that day. He recognized me too and beamed as he waved me inside.

"I wondered if you'd show up in one of my classes today." He grinned and waved an enormous hand at the still mostly empty classroom. "I'm Mr. Thornhill. Take a seat anywhere."

He raised his voice at the other students weaving their way through the desks. "All of you settle in - I'm going to check for stragglers and lost souls." With that, he lumbered out the door.

I went to find my seat and froze as I saw James sitting towards the back. He saw me at the same time I saw him, and irritation crossed his face. Pointedly, he looked at an empty desk at the other side of the room. I followed his gaze and took a step in that direction, then deliberately turned around, stepped forward, and dropped my book bag on the desk next to his.

"What are you doing?" He snapped.

"Oh, James." I adopted a syrupy tone. "I couldn't possibly stay away. Your icy disdain is like a drug to me." With a dramatic sigh I slid into my seat and turned to bat my eyes at him.

His mouth definitely twitched that time before his face smoothed into cold lines once more. "You weren't kidding about that whole being annoying bit, were you?"

"It's a gift." I shrugged as I dug my binder out of my bag. "Besides, I saw that almost smile. You can't fool me - there's a sense of humor hidden somewhere underneath that surly demeanor."

He couldn't seem to help smiling that time, but I could tell it bothered him, giving me that small victory. I smiled widely back at him, my mind made up. James intrigued me. Whether it was his general hotness, his dreamy Newfoundlander accent, or something else entirely I wasn't sure yet, but I wanted to know him better. Therefore, I was throwing down the gauntlet and letting my interest in him be known. Let him make of it whatever he wanted. Either we'd be friends by the end of this class or we'd be enemies. I could deal with it either way - it was better than spending months mooning over him in silence.

Mr. Thornhill returned with several more students in tow, and any progression towards our inevitable bestest friends/mortal enemies future had to be halted as class began.

English 10A wasn't nearly as hard to sit through as most of my classes. Mr. Thornhill, it turned out, possessed his own abundant sense of humor, making class much more interesting. Plus, James's close presence and the confused looks he kept sending me were enough to lighten my mood considerably.

There was less than twenty minutes to go when there was a knock on the door and a skinny, gray haired woman stuck her head in. I recognized her vaguely - she was another teacher for some subject I didn't have.

"Dan..." She said to Mr. Thornhill, her voice aggravated. "There's a fight going on right outside my classroom. Would you mind - "

"Oh, of course." Mr. Thornhill turned to us. "I'll be right back. I expect you all to remain in this classroom and quiet while I'm gone."

As if. The second he was gone, the class broke into excited chatter and half the students jumped up and made their way toward the windows, hoping to see the fight for themselves. I immediately vowed to myself to never ever tell Carlisle and Esme that there had been a fight bad enough that teachers had to break it up on my first day of school. I had a feeling if they heard about this, I'd find myself appropriately uniformed and imprisoned behind the wrought iron gates of St. Agatha's before I knew what hit me.

James did not join the crowd at the window. I turned to him, determined to make the most of this golden opportunity.

"Where did you get that tan?" I asked him the first thing that popped into my mind.

He looked at me for a long moment, as if deciding whether to answer or not, before he spoke. "I spent the summer with my aunt in Venice Beach."

"Venice Beach?" My voice was surprised.

"Yeah. As in California. Ever been?" His voice was mildly derisive but that wasn't what caused the unexpected pain to shoot through me.

"Yes, I've been there." My voice was flat now as I remembered. Venice Beach. California. San Diego. His words were a harsh reminder that they all still existed in this world but everything that I had known and loved there was gone. For all I cared, the whole of southern California could just fall right off the map.

I didn't feel like talking to him anymore. In fact, I was instantly sick of his whole crappy attitude. My friends or enemies plan now seemed like a stupid idea. I just wanted to go home, pull the covers over my head, and indulge in some more strenuous forgetting.

"Are you OK?" I was startled by the tone of actual concern in his voice. I turned to see him looking at me, his brow furrowed.

"Fine." I still couldn't inject any life into my voice. I turned away from him and stared out the window at the cloudy sky outside.

James didn't try to talk to me again, and I let my thoughts drift into pleasant, undemanding daydreams. In the background, the noise of the classroom became steadily louder, evolving into occasional shouts and roars of laughter, but I barely noticed anything until suddenly, something slammed onto my desk, making me jump.

I looked down to see a leather bound book - no, a journal, perhaps, that someone had apparently thrown my way for reasons I couldn't imagine. Confused, I reached out and picked it up.

"Hey, throw it over here!"

I looked up to see a tall, jock type calling out to me. He was standing near the front of the room, surrounded by a ring of friends. His hands were outstretched. I gave him a bewildered look and he grinned at me. "Come on, cupcake. Toss it my way."

Before I could tell Jock Boy what I thought of him calling me cupcake, someone hurtled into him, slamming him against the wall. I gasped as I saw it was James. His eyes were flashing furiously and the jock's friends, who'd been laughing, went instantly silent.

It took a couple more seconds for me to understand but then it clicked. The journal belonged to James. The others, in typical bully fashion, had taken it from him and were amusing themselves by tossing it back and forth across the room out of his reach. The difference in this little scenario is that James apparently wasn't good at playing the role of victim. He was still holding the other guy against the wall, despite the fact that he had to be twice James' size.

The rest of the class was acting oddly as well. Instead of cheering on the conflict like they had the earlier fight, they'd all gone very quiet. Almost to a one, they were frozen in place as if a potentially deadly animal had been uncaged in the room. I thought back to the first day I'd seen James, and the principal's warning to him, and this suddenly made sense too. James clearly had a reputation - a _scary _one.

The jock's face was nearly purple, whether from embarrassment or anger I didn't know, but he lashed back now, knocking James away from him and into the first row of desks. James was back on his feet in an instant, his eyes flashing dangerously and the two of them circled each other.

"You are so dead, you psycho f- " Before the other boy could finish his sentence James shoved him backwards. I'd had enough. I jumped to my feet, still holding the journal, and dashed forward, grabbing James's arm and pulling him back as the other boy made another lunge for him.

James gave me a blazing look as the jock's friends, seeing an opening, leapt forward and grabbed their friend, pulling him back as well. He resisted just as much as James did, giving me a murderous look.

"You don't want to get into the middle of this, blondie. I've owed Poetry Boy here a solid ass kicking for a long time." Again, he tried to push his friends off of him.

"Shut up." I snapped and turned to James, who had shaken off my restraining hand and looked like he was about to start the fight all over again. "James, I have your book. Come sit down."

James ignored me, his eyes still locked on his enemy. I sighed in exasperation and leaned forward, lowering my voice. "I heard what the principal said to you the other day. If you get into another fight, you're going to get expelled, aren't you? Come on, he's not worth it!" I gave his arm another tug and this time, he went with me, betraying reluctance in every step.

"Thornhill's coming back." Another boy, who was standing near the door, said abruptly. There was an immediate rush to get back into the seats.

"Elisa." James hissed to me as we sat down. "Can I have my book back, please?" His voice was impatient.

I looked down at it. "Did he call you poetry boy?" I asked as I handed it to him.

James looked upset that I had picked up on that. "Yeah. I write. So what?" He took the journal from me.

He wrote? _Poetry? _Could it be...a boy that was both pretty _and_ deep? OK, I was definitely riding the train into Crushville now and despite my misgivings, it was with no small amount of relief. _Goodbye, _Edward. _So long_, Jacob Black. It was about damn time I got to crush on someone who hadn't been branded by Bella first.

Before I had time to contemplate the ramifications of my brand spanking new crush, Mr. Thornhill walked back into the room. He surveyed all of us for several long seconds as we stared back at him, and his mouth quirked. "Dead giveaway, guys. You're all far too quiet. Whatever you all got up to while I was gone, I never want to know about. Unless it involved superglueing my seat." He took a cautious peek at the chair behind his desk and we all laughed.

The bell rang then, and I got up, shoving my books in my backpack and savoring the first few seconds of freedom.

"Hey."

I looked up in surprise to see James standing in front of me. "Did you want something, James?" I asked as I fastened the bag's clasp.

"Everyone calls me Jimmy." He corrected. "And...I wanted to say thank you."

"Oh." I smiled. "You're welcome. _Jimmy_."

He smiled back just slightly, and headed towards the door. Just as he reached the doorway, he looked back. "Elisa?"

"Yeah?" I asked, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"If I'm late to third period tomorrow, save me a seat, OK?" He flashed me a far wider grin this time, and then walked off.

_Score! _My own answering grin was smug as I headed out the door. So...friends it was.

I had a feeling it was going to be a very interesting year.

--

_Again, thank you all so much for reading. The next chapter, Nineteen, returns to the Elisa/Bella/Edward POV formula, and it's one I've been building up to for a long time. If you've been reading Evening Falls for a while, it's one you definitely shouldn't miss. I'd sneak peek it here, but I'm afraid I'll give too much away. I may change my mind later though, so you might want to check back in a couple of days and see if I've added it._


	14. Shadows

_**Prepare for rambling author's note coming at you in 3…2…1**_

**I am immensely sorry for my long absence. Real life got stressful on me and my muse bailed. I'm hoping to appease any readers I may have left with this Christmas offering. **

**This chapter is not what I intended to write so forgive me if my author's notes at the end of the last chapter seemed misleading. As usual, I have too much plot. I am pleased with it though, because I got a chance to explore two characters that have been in the background for much of Evening Falls...Alice and Jasper. **

**The other stuff I mentioned is coming up soon, I swear!**

**Many thanks to those of you who have taken the time to read and review and especially those who sent me messages letting me know this story hasn't been forgotten and that I should really get my ass into gear. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**Special thanks goes out to Navirae, who I have shared so much with, and siDEADde, who brought Jasper and Alice to life for me and whose cyber ass kicking and beta'ing made sure this chapter got done. Amelia and Tammy thanks for the laughs, support and big thinking.**

**I swear I'll shut up in a minute but one more thing…this story is and will remain T-rated but Bella and Edward are married now and so there will be intimate scenes. No lemons in this story, but just so you know. ******

**Hope you are all having a great holiday season, whatever you do and however you celebrate it.**

**Evening Falls**

**Chapter 14: Shadows**

_**Edward:**_

Shadows played on the wall, dancing in the flickering light cast by the fireplace, The glow illuminated our entwined figures on the floor before it. Bella's scent swirled in the air, enveloping me. It was the sweetest, most addictive of torture. It was the same and yet not the same as it had always been, matured now like fine wine.

It was the other sensations gripping my body that were almost cruel in their intensity. They attacked every cell in my being with the deceptively caressing hands of a lover, lying in wait to reveal their true, dark intentions the second I let down my guard.

I both fought and gave in as my body moved almost against my will, enchanted forevermore to be in perfect tandem with my bride's. Beneath me, the sounds she was making, the feel of her warmth drawing me in deeper teased and taunted my self control. One arm wrapped around her small and far too fragile figure, holding her as close as I dared. The other arm was flung outward, hand outstretched against the smooth floorboard, firmly out of the game. I considered it my anchor, the one small part of me that kept me grounded and in control.

Bella shifted, moaned, and it was nearly my undoing. My fingers clenched on the floorboard, and it splintered beneath my fingers. A second later my entire hand broke through the wood. Bella arched up to meet me at the same time. My other hand wove itself into her hair, gripping lightly, and we rode the wave together. Ever conscious of Bella's frailities, I only allowed myself to skim the surface, refusing to allow the ecstasy to submerge me.

Still, it took a few moments for me to think rationally once more. When I did, I carefully rolled off of Bella, both glad and saddened by the regret on her face as I did so. As I saw her lips part to object I leaned back and kissed her carefully, distracting her. At the same time I reached past her and pulled a nearby recliner soundlessly over the hole in the floorboards. I'd fix it while she slept that night.

"Thank you." Bella told me quietly when I released her and pulled back. She sat up, reaching for her discarded robe on the floor next to us. I sprang lightly to my feet, following her cues, and reached for my own scattered clothing.

"If you're thanking me for what just transpired, you've got it quite backwards." I grinned at her as I pulled my shirt over my head. It was my turn to silently mourn now as I watched her breathtaking body disappear underneath her nightgown.

Bella laughed too and then crossed the room to me, her face becoming more serious. She leaned upwards to touch my face. "No, really. I know that , well, _this_ - " I watched as the blush bloomed on her face " - is still hard for you."

I opened my mouth for a quick denial but the look on Bella's face made it clear she wouldn't buy it. I sighed. "It is." I admitted. "It's difficult to remain…strong, for lack of a better word."

Bella frowned slightly as she leaned into my chest. "I'm sorry." She murmured.

"I'm not." My voice was louder than I'd intended in my haste to reassure her. She looked startled for a moment as she lifted her head to look at me. "Bella, what it means to me, that you can trust me on this level, that we can share this, the way you make me feel…there are no words."

For a moment we were both silent, just wrapped in each other's arms, then Bella's head inclined and she groaned softly.

"What?" I asked, turning to see that she was gazing at the clock on the wall behind us.

"The time! I can't believe it's this late and I haven't even gotten dressed." She turned and hurried up the stairs to our bedroom, and went to the large dresser in the corner. I followed, keeping in step with her.

"Why the rush, love? We're still honeymooners. No one expects us to make round the clock appearances."

"I know." Bella sighed as she dug through the drawers. "It's just that Elisa will be home soon. "It's only two days until we leave. We should have planned to pick her up at school; spend as much time with her and the rest of the family as we can." Her grimace was broken by a sudden yawn.

"Relax,. You worry too much." I took the jeans she'd pulled of the drawer from her hands and tossed them on the chaise in the opposite corner. "Rosalie and Emmett will pick her up. You're tired. I've been keeping you up too much. Why don't you lie down?"

Bella immediately started to object, but I swung her into my arms and had her on the bed before the first word left her mouth. I ignored her glower as I tucked the blankets around her. "There's only have so much time left for sleeping, Bella. Tomorrow is your birthday. We're leaving the next morning. I don't want you to regret not having these last few dreams.

Bella's frown softened. "Maybe you're right." Her voice was quiet, thoughtful. I'd gotten used to the quiet of her mind but there were still moments, like this one, where I desperately wished I knew what she was thinking.

Bella yawned again as she settled more deeply into her pillow. "Wake me up before Elisa gets home though. Promise?"

"Promise." I vowed.

Bella was more tired than either of us had realized. Within a few minutes she was deeply asleep. I was about to join her on the bed when a faraway flash of movement caught my attention. I turned my head, looking out the bedroom window towards the forest beyond. Something was out there, moving fast, far away enough that even I had to focus intensely to capture it with my eyes.

Another flash of ebony and ivory colored movement made me smile. I looked back at Bella, sleeping peacefully, torn for a moment, and then, quietly, I eased open the window and jumped to the ground. I was running as soon as my feet touched the earth. A landscape of green flew past me as I ran.

My presence was not unexpected. I could hear her thoughts now as I followed, and our sight blurred together until I was no longer sure if what I was seeing came from my vision or from hers. She wasn't slowing down to allow me to catch up.

'_Go away, Edward.' _The thought carried to me on the breeze. I frowned for a

moment, my feet slowing automatically, and then I redoubled my efforts. Alice had been dancing around this conversation since I'd come to St. John's with Bella, and I wasn't willing to leave for Alaska with so much left unsaid.

Alice was caught off guard for a fraction of a second, my intentions clouding her own perception, and then she was on the move again, leaving the ground and darting up a tree. She leapt from branch to branch, looking split seconds ahead to stay just out of my reach. I grinned and followed her example, and for several minutes we played the game, with me reading her mind to see where she'd go next while she used her own talent to forestall me.

It was inevitable that another one of the mundane mental flashes that Alice so often got would be her undoing. Just as she made a particularly impressive flying leap onto a branch two trees away, her mind flickered to life with images. I'd been waiting for this opportunity, and even as I shared the short, insignificant vision, I was moving forward. Alice tensed as I landed a few branches above her, but she didn't jump again, resigned.

Another hop and I was directly above her. Instead of jumping down to join her on the massive branch that her small frame was perched on, I grabbed the branch above me and swung like an Olympic gymnast until I was upside down, my feet hooked to the branch. I swayed back and forth and then dropped one leg, bending my knee to cross the opposing lower leg comically as I suspended from the other foot.

Alice couldn't help bursting into laughter as I hung above her in my deliberate pose. "The Hanged Man." Her lips quirked as she recalled the pose from the hand painted Tarot deck I'd given her as joke years ago. "Clever, Edward."

"It's nice to see you smile again, little one." I told her as I carefully eased myself onto the branch next to her. It creaked under our combined weight, but held.

At my words, her face clouded. "Don't start. Please." She turned her head away from me.

For a moment I did hold my peace. We sat side by side, tensed, watching the trees sway lightly in the wind. The quiet was awkward. Of anyone, Alice had always been the one I could talk to, say anything to, and now I was at an utter loss. It was discomfitting, to say the least.

And still, I had to try. "Talk to me, Alice. _Please._ Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing's going on. I'm fine." Her words were clipped and abrupt.

I sighed. "I'm not even going to point out the folly of lying to someone who can read your mind. And I'm not the only one who's noticed. Carlise and Esme are worried. You put on a good show but we've all seen how you've changed. You've stopped singing. You only laugh when you're trying to pretend everything is alright. You're pulling away – from all of us, and you're taking Jasper with you. You're _not_ fine."

"But I have to be, Edward!" Alice's façade began to crack as she turned to look at me. "There's too much going on! I'm wasting so much time on this when I should be helping you and Bella prepare for her change. And what about Elisa? She's going through so much, losing her family, trying to settle in to her new life, and what help have I been in that department? She's had to rely on _Rosalie_, of all people!"

I couldn't help but chuckle at the uncharacteristic note of petulance in Alice's voice. "To be fair, Alice, Rosalie has actually been quite good for Elisa."

"I know." Alice's voice was still tinged with a slight bitterness. "It's a fine twist, isn't it? I can't say I ever saw this one coming…Rosalie gunning for Big Sister of the Year while I'm stuck skulking around the woods having…_issues_!"

I had to laugh at that and Alice smiled as well, though it didn't meet her eyes. That sobered me quickly.

"Tell me about it."

Alice stared straight ahead for a long moment. "You already know."

We were both looking away from each other. I examined the forest sprawling around us, its sea of green barely touched by autumn. I wouldn't be here when the leaves changed and fell to the ground, coloring everything with nature's own paintbrush. I didn't regret it…but I did regret the people I would have to leave behind.

"Tell me anyway." I pushed away the melancholy and turned back, staring at the side of her face, mentally willing her to look back at me.

Finally she did. "I've lost control of the visions. They come and go whenever they want and I can't stop it. I can't make them be quiet. I don't see what I want to see, and sometimes, when I try to look…" She stopped talking abruptly. Her thoughts were rushing, chaotic.

"Alice…" I brought her back with the sound of my voice. "Stay with me. Don't be afraid. Look now, while I'm with you." I urged. "Try to see. Look for something benign."

She didn't respond but her thoughts spoke for her._ I don't want to. It's all full of shadows._

I reached for Alice's tiny hand and squeezed it in mine. She heaved a resigned sigh and then the images came to life in our shared sight. Rosalie and Emmett swam into view before us. They stood on an isolated roadside, Rose's BMW parked nearby. Rosalie was bent over the hood of a stranger's disabled car, brow furrowed in concentration. Nearby, its owner, a plain, twenty something man with close cropped hair, gazed at her in fascination. Emmett stood next to him, watching the stranger ogle his wife, his face amused.

Just as we both began to relax, it happened. The vision flickered like a shaky picture on a television set. Another image flashed before us, an empty, unfamiliar room, but it was gone before I could absorb any details. Rosalie and Emmett blurred back into view, then spun away again. Another flash of the unknown room and then all the images began to blur together.

Alice shook her head and everything disappeared. She groaned lightly, massaging her forehead like a human with a migraine. "Do you see? It's incredibly aggravating. Just these flashes that keep coming back and I don't know what they are. It's happening more and more and it's worse around Elisa. Every time I'm around her, it all comes rushing in."

"That's why you've been avoiding her." It wasn't a question.

Alice sighed, still massaging her temples. "Yes. And I've let Jasper take the blame for that. It's incredibly unfair to both him and Elisa. I should - " She stopped speaking abruptly.

"You want to leave." I finished the sentence that she couldn't.

"I don't _want_ to. But maybe it's for the best. Look what I'm doing to everyone! I haven't been there for you and Bella, I'm making Carlisle and Esme worry, Elisa thinks Jasper hates her, and Jasper's blaming her for my problems. My talent doesn't work right anymore. I feel…_useless_. What good am I to anyone?"

I gave her a disbelieving look. "How can you even say that? Do you think we've kept you around all these years just because you're handy? You're not just a vampire who can see the future, not to any of us. You're a sister. A daughter. How can you disregard how much you mean to all of us? We wouldn't be whole without you."

"That's not fair." Alice whispered, turning her face away again.

She was right. The last thing Alice needed right now was guilt from the brother who was leaving her behind. I'd been speaking out of my own regret, desperate to make her see reason before I could no longer be there for her.

"Alice, maybe you and Jasper should come with us."

"I've considered it." Alice admitted, turning back to me. "But this is your time, yours and Bella's. I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Alice – " I started to protest but she cut me off.

"I'll stay, Edward.." She sighed now. "You're right. I don't want to hurt anyone. I'll make it work somehow. Besides, I couldn't do that to Esme, divide the family more than it has to be at the moment. And how could I walk out on Elisa when she's already upset enough about you and Bella leaving? I just wish I knew why this is happening. I can't imagine what it is that makes it so much harder for me to be around her."

"Can't you? Really?" The words were out before I thought enough to stop them and since I was already there, I plunged ahead. "Think about it, Alice. She's a young girl who lost her whole life. She's starting over in a strange new world and the one thing she has left, her _memories_, are being lost as well. Don't you see where you might feel a connection to that?"

Alice's eyes narrowed. "What are you trying to say?"

I ignored the warning signs blazing in her eyes and plunged ahead. "What I'm saying is that perhaps Elisa's triggering this reaction in you because she represents something you don't want to face. Alice, you can make all the trips to Biloxi you want. You can do research, look up records, visit your parents' graves, spy on your niece, but none of it will give you what you're looking for. Not until you're ready to actually face your human past."

I tried to squeeze her hand again to soften my words, but she yanked it out of mine and jerked away from me, unbalancing me so much that I nearly fell from my precarious perch.

Her thoughts were raging at me before she spoke, and I knew immediately that I'd said the wrong thing. "You've got this so wrong! Of all people, you were the one I thought I could count on to understand, Edward! How can you even think I don't want my human memories? You know what it would mean to me to have those memories back! I've spent so many years wondering, searching, and now you are trying to imply that it's _my_ fault I can't remember!"

"Alice, no – "

"Go away, Edward. Take Bella and go." She repeated her earlier thought aloud. "I'll be fine without you. We all will. Isn't that what you wanted? To follow me out here and fix me so you could leave without feeling guilty? Take your absolution then. I don't need you anymore."

Alice's thoughts didn't match the vitriol of her words. She was crying soundless tears as she turned away, already drowning in remorse. I reached for her but she was too fast.

"I think this conversation is over." The words were hissed at me. With that, Alice leapt gracefully from the branch. I saw her alight much further down on the next tree over, and with another jump, she was gone from my view.

I hesitated a second, torn, and prepared to spring, ready to go after her. I balanced on the balls of my feet, ready to leap, and that's when I heard it; the thoughts of someone I hadn't even realized was there, the only person I knew who had the skill to take me by surprise. I looked up.

Jasper was on the branch above me. As soon as our eyes met, he took one foot off his own branch and slammed it down hard on mine. There was an enormous crack as the limb broke beneath me. Suddenly, I was falling. I grabbed for another branch as I spiraled down but it snapped off in my hands. A minute later I slammed into the ground face up.

I lay on my back for a moment, blinking up at the clouded sky and then attempted to sit up. A black boot came down on my chest and forced me back to the ground.

"Hello, Jasper." I looked up at him. "I take it you think Alice wants a little space."

"That's very perceptive of you." He smirked down at me.

"Yes, well, I had some time to consider it while I was free falling."

Jasper grinned at that but the smile faded quickly. "Back off, Edward. I mean it. Don't push her."

"Jasper, she needs – " My words were cut off by the low growl that built in his throat. With a final, warning glare, he took his foot off of me. I stood up slowly, keeping a wary eye on his tense frame.

"I've always respected your bond with Alice. That doesn't mean you know what she needs better than I do." Jasper's dark eyes challenged me. "Go back to your wife, Edward, and let me take care of mine." His thoughts were a turmolt of helplessness and frustratioh. He'd always been able to fight Alice's demons with her before, and now he was at an utter loss.

Before I could retort, the direction of Jasper's thoughts switched abruptly. He turned, sensing something I couldn't. "Go _now_." His voice had lost all anger_. It's Bella._

As soon as I connected his words with his thoughts, I was off and running, back towards the estate. It was only a minute before I was bursting through the door of the carriage house. I raced up the stairs and into the bedroom Bella and I shared.

"Bella?" My voice was urgent.

My abrupt reappearance had startled her. Bella was been sitting up in bed, the sheets wrapped carelessly around her legs, and her cell phone clutched in her hands. Tears had been streaking down her face and she tried to wipe them away, looking self-conscious.

"It's nothing." She whispered. "Don't look so worried. You didn't need to run."

"Don't tell me it's nothing." My voice was more impatient then I had intended, and I modulated it back to a gentler tone as I slid on to the bed next to her, taking her free hand in mine. "What happened?"

Bella sniffed as she wiped away the last tear. "Charlie called." She smiled weakly. "We had a nice talk, but then he asked if we were coming back for Christmas. He sounded so excited…" Her voice cracked. "I'm not coming back, Edward. Ever. I have to either keep stringing him along for years, always making excuses, maybe meeting him once or twice in some dark café, wearing sunglasses. Or I have to…" She stared blindly at a spot past my head. "It might be kinder if we let him believe I died instead of thinking that I just don't care anymore."

I winced at that. "Bella, it's not too late. You know that you don't have to – "

"Don't say I don't have to go through with it!" Bella's voice was sharp, but she looked instantly contrite as soon as the words left her mouth. "I'm sorry. It's just…we've had this discussion. I've made my choice. I want to be like you. Forever, remember?"

"I know. It's still what I want too." I forced myself not to flinch at my own selfishness. "It's just that it's hurting you."

Bella nodded. "I miss him. I miss Renee too. It's hard. It's going to get harder. Whether I'm immortal or human, I'm going to lose people eventually. You can't protect me from that."

I traced her wedding ring slowly, looking down at our hands. "It's a lot to lose, Bella. It might not hit you until it's too late."

Bella sighed. She touched my face then, gently lifting my chin so she could look me in the eyes. "What would you give up, if you had to, in order to be with me, Edward?"

"Anything. Everything." I whispered.

She smiled. "Exactly."

I pulled her onto my lap then, and buried my face in her neck, breathing in her familiar, burning scent, the intoxicating smell of her skin. I felt her warm breath rustle my hair slightly as she rested her head on top of mine. Our hands touched and fingers wound together as I thought about all the things I should be saying right now, all the things I wouldn't.

Because I didn't care anymore. I didn't care if it was wrong. Not enough to turn back, not enough to stay. I'd come so close to losing Bella too many times and to even contemplate it again took strength I didn't have. All that mattered to me now was keeping Bella with me. I'd let the world burn before I gave her up. And yet, she was giving everything up for me. God, I hoped I was worth it. The memory of the haunted look in Alice's eyes when she'd left me in the forest made me doubt it.

I wasn't sure how long we sat there in stillness, wound together, before the distant sound of a car passing by a mile away reminded me that time waited for no one to catch up.

"Elisa will be home soon." I told Bella, releasing her. "Or would you rather stay here?"

"That's a trick question." Bella made a face at me and jumped up. "We'd better go." We both sighed at the same time, then laughed.

"Are you going to tell me where you went?" Bella asked abruptly as we swung our clasped hands between us a few minutes later, walking up the pathway towards the main house.

"Oh." I hesitated. "I was in the forest." I tried to keep my tone level.

Bella shot me a suspicious glance as we followed the path's curving lead and came in sight of the front porch.

I was ready to reassure her when the sight of Alice, waiting on the porch, distracted me. She stood at the top of the steps as we began to ascend, her face contrite. Behind her, in the shadows, stood Jasper, watching me carefully.

_I'm so sorry, Edward. _

As soon as I reached her side, I reached for her hand. She gave it to me freely this time, and I squeezed it carefully, hoping to convey with this simple gesture that there was absolutely no need for her to apologize. I would make my own amends to her later.

_I didn't mean it, any of it._Alice's thoughts were heavy with contrition_. I overreacted. Everything is fine now._

I smiled as though I believed her, and together, the four of us walked into the house.

**Elisa:**

I stood up from my desk, stretching slightly, as around me the classroom erupted, the end of the day clamor far louder than usual. We were only two weeks into the school year, but it had been long enough for the early novelty to die down and the realization that we still had about another eight months of stupefying boredom before us to sink in. At least freedom came twice on this cold, early autumn day, for not only had the final bell just rang but it was Friday as well.

I wasn't in a hurry myself. I stood up and casually shoved my binder and books in my backpack, dropping my pencil in the process.

"Got it." Before I could reach down, Jimmy was already stuffing my pencil in my bag, then grabbed it out of my hand and zipped it up for me. He handed it back with a rushed sigh. "Let's go."

With that, he sped out the door. It took him about five seconds to realize I wasn't matching his frenetic pace. By the time I caught up to him halfway down the hall he was tapping his sneaker impatiently on the linoleum.

"What are you doing?" He demanded as soon as I got within hearing distance.

"Um…walking?" I said, a little confused. "It's an amazing concept, really. You just put one foot in front of the other and voila! Movement." I demonstrated with an exaggerated flair.

Jimmy rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. What's with the laidback? Usually as soon as the final bell rings you're dragging my ass out the door like your feet are on fire."

That was true, I had to admit, because it was generally Rosalie and Emmett who were parked outside, ready to pick me up and seriously, try to keep Rosalie Hale waiting.

I shrugged in response to his words. "My ride is going to be late today." According to the text message Alice had sent me, twenty-three minutes late, to be exact. "Don't let me hold you up if you're in a hurry though." I added as Jimmy stayed beside me while I walked over to the bank of lockers.

Jimmy shook his head. "My mom's always late too." He smiled and leaned back against the wall, waiting for me. The smile sent a jolt through me and it was a second before I remembered that I still needed to get the rest of my books. I opened my locker hurriedly; grateful that for once I didn't have to worry about someone hearing my thoughts or my heartbeat speeding up.

After I was done, we headed out the main entrance. The steps to the school were nearly empty now even though mere minutes had passed. I shivered slightly in the rising wind as I turned and tossed my bag on the top step and sat down to wait it out.

Jimmy followed my lead, slouching casually next to me. The fact that he didn't seem in any hurry to leave my company sent another embarrassing thrill through me. Over the past two weeks, we'd sat together in the two classes we shared and I ate lunch with him and his friends, but we'd never hung out beyond that. I'd been starting to think that I was a 'school' friend only, someone to hang out with just because it was convenient. Maybe I'd been wrong. I hoped so. The more time I spent with Jimmy, the more I liked him, and I was tired of being stranded in Crushville on my own.

This new hope was as daunting as it was optimistic. My tongue felt uncharacteristically tied, and we sat there in silence as I desperately tried to think of a decent topic of conversation.

"Hey, Jimmy." A voice sounded behind us. I groaned silently. Fantastic. The first chance I get to be semi-alone with Jimmy, and along comes Tandy Newman like a vulture. She was the goth girl I'd seen him having lunch with on the first day and I'd since learned that while they were not dating like I'd feared, she was still wildly possessive of him. Apparently they'd grown up together and were aggravatingly bonded. You couldn't even BFF that business...he was more than her best friend; he was _hers_ and she had no problem pointing it out every single chance she got.

"Hi, Tandy." I forced a smile as we both turned to look up at her.

She didn't even bother to look in my direction and I clenched my teeth. Tandy had never been particularly friendly but we usually only saw each other at lunch. It was much easier to ignore her attitude when we were in a crowd and I could hope it wasn't directed towards me.

Jimmy looked from me to her and sighed. "Hey, Tandy. Aren't you going to say hi to Elisa?"

Finally, Tandy deigned to roll her eyes in my direction. "Oh, is _she_ still here?" She asked Jimmy. Her voice dripped disdain.

Jimmy started to say something but I cut him off. "You know, if you have a problem with me I suggest you talk about it to my face."

Tandy flipped a 'don't talk to me' palm in my direction and turned back to Jimmy. "Call me tonight. I have a family thing on Saturday but we can hang out Sunday."

Jimmy shrugged. "Sure." He smiled and inwardly I bubbled with jealousy.

As if she sensed it, Tandy smirked in my direction and I resisted the urge to throw my book bag at her. "Well, I'd just love to hang with you and Barbie Girl but I have a bus to catch. See you later."

"Knock it off." Jimmy gave her a warning look but she'd already turned on her heel and marched off.

"Ignore her." Jimmy told me as I glared after her. "Tandy's just a little weirded out, I guess. She's used to being my only girlfriend." To my surprise, he blushed. "I mean, girl who is a friend, not girlfriend, because she's not, you know…"

"Um, right." His words gave me a warm flush. It was clear he didn't want me to get the wrong idea about him and Tandy. He wouldn't care about that, would he, unless he was interested, right? I tingled down to my very toes at the thought.

"Hey." Something occurred to me then, recalled from snippets of lunch conversations. "Don't you guys live like two blocks away from each other or something? Why don't you take the bus with her?"

Jimmy's face tensed and he looked away. "My parents won't let me. They know if they don't pick me up, I won't go home."

"Oh." I was taken aback, with no idea what to say. Again, my mind turned back to previous conversations. He had made enough offhand remarks over the past few weeks that I knew things at his home weren't great, but this sounded a lot worse than I had imagined.

We were both silent for a minute, before I mustered up the courage to speak again. "Is it really bad? I mean, with your parents?" We hadn't really gotten personal on this level before, and I hoped I wasn't crossing some kind of line.

Jimmy looked back at me, quiet for a moment as if considering his words before he spoke. "No, I guess not. It's better than last year, anyway. My mom and dad are…I mean, they're OK. They try, you know?" His smile faded. "It's just – they expected me to turn out differently. I'm not who they wanted me to be and they can't deal."

I nodded. "I've been there."

His eyes flashed curiosity but before he could ask, I hurried to speak again. "So what happened last year?"

Jimmy scoffed. "I think you got a flashback of it that first day in English, when I went after Brett."

"Yeah." I smiled now, remembering Jimmy shoving our classmate Brett, who I still referred to silently as Jock Boy, against the wall. "So, you got into a lot of fights."

His grin was sheepish now. "I almost got expelled. My parents were going insane. As soon as school let out they sent me to my aunt in California. My aunt is great. She's an artist. We used to go to the boardwalk on Venice Beach every day and sell her paintings. After I'd been there for a month I called my parents and told them I wasn't coming back. I thought maybe that would be better for all of us but they lost it completely. I was pissed when they made me come home."

"Well, I'm glad you did." I smiled at him, fighting back the blush that wanted to bloom on my cheeks.

Jimmy looked at me for a long, contemplative moment, then smiled slowly. "So am I…_now_." His eyes never left mine and my breath caught. I hoped he didn't notice. No…wait. I hoped he _did_. I liked this boy. And, unless I was completely and utterly misreading him, he liked me too. This could totally be our moment. I widened my eyes and sent _'ask me out'_ vibes at him as hard as I could.

"Can I ask you a question now?" Jimmy said suddenly.

_Success!_ I exulted silently.

"Sure." I tried to keep my tone casual.

Jimmy hesitated a moment, taking a deep breath. It was so adorable that he was nervous.

"Why do you live with your aunt and uncle?"

_Wait…what? _ _That_ was the question he wanted to ask? Disappointment spiraled within me, followed immediately by trepidation as I realized just what he was asking.

"Oh. Um…" I looked down, playing with my bracelet absently before I peeked up again to see him watching me.

"I'm sorry. Look, you don't have to tell me."

"No, it's OK." I forced a smile. "It's just that – " _That I have to lie._ I thought to myself. This was going to be so much harder than I'd ever imagined. I'd always considered myself fairly adept in the art of deception, but lying to my father about going to the movies with a boy or whether I'd done my homework was on a completely different level from what I was about to do. Plus there was the unexpected realization that I didn't _want_ to lie to Jimmy. Before, when I'd practiced my stories with Carlisle and the others, I'd only thought about protecting them. With that perspective only, lying was easy. When it came time to do it while looking in the eyes of someone I knew I could really care about, it was a million times more difficult.

I inhaled deeply and steeled myself. Might as well get it over with. "My family – I mean, my parents, and my brother…they're – gone." I swallowed hard as pain slashed through me at the words. At least so far I'd said nothing but the truth.

"Gone?" Jimmy pondered this for a moment, and then his clear blue eyes widened. "You mean, like – really gone?"

I nodded, pressing my lips together.

"Oh, man." Jimmy ran a hand through his dark blond hair. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright." I mumbled, still looking down, trying to find some small comfort in the fact that I hadn't lied outright.

"Can I ask how?" Jimmy scooted a little closer to me on the step, still looking apprehensive.

Well, there went my small bit of comfort. I moistened my lips nervously. "Car accident outside of Seattle about four months ago." The words themselves felt tainted.

"I didn't realize it was so recent." Jimmy looked horrified all over again. "I shouldn't have asked."

"It's OK." I said again, forcing a shaky smile. "Really. It would have come up eventually."

We sat in silence for the next minute before I dug my cell phone out of my bag to check the time. Three minutes left before Rosalie and Emmet would be there. I put the phone back and stood up, picking up my book bag. "My ride should be here soon." I told Jimmy when he looked puzzled.

He stood up too at that and gave me a contemplative look. I returned his gaze questioningly and unexpectedly, he grinned brightly. "I think we should hug now."

"Huh?" I blurted, too startled to say something wittier.

"Well, it's customary after bonding over family trauma. Seriously, I've seen it on TV hundred times. There's awkward conversation, revelation of secrets, some cheesy music, and then hugging. If you need to get in the mood for it though, I can always sing a few lines of _'My Heart Will Go On.'_

I started to laugh. "That won't be necessary."

It _was_ awkward, as we turned towards each other trying to figure exactly where our arms should go, but we managed it. I thought it would just be a quick, embarrassed gesture, but he squeezed me tightly around my bulky jacket and didn't seem inclined to let go immediately. He smelled really good too…not vampire good, but fresh, with a hint of soap.

"I'm really sorry about your family." Jimmy whispered in my ear as I leaned into him. "But I'm glad you came here."

At that, butterflies moved into my stomach and unpacked suitcases, apparently planning on staying for a while. My pulse raced as his warm breath tickled my ear, and I fervently hoped that he remembered that the customary sitcom-esque hugging scene should always be followed by the ritual asking the girl for her phone number.

"Hey!" A loud voice sounded, cutting into my hopeful reverie, and we both jumped and parted immediately. I turned scarlet as I saw Rosalie's BMW pulling in just feet from the bottom of the steps. Emmett was leaning out the driver's side window, his eyes fixed on Jimmy.

"Gotta go!" I sputtered. "Um…see you on Monday!" I turned and hurried down the steps. Rosalie gave me a pointed look as I sprinted around her side. She climbed out gracefully and pushed her seat in so I could climb in.

"Who's the blond kid with the wandering hands?" Emmett demanded as we pulled out of the parking lot.

My blush bloomed anew. "Jimmy. I've mentioned him before. I think you guys have even seen him a couple of times."

"Jimmy what?" Rosalie was the one who asked now.

"Rafferty." I wondered why she asked.

"R-A-F-F-E-R-T-Y?" Emmett spelled out, looking at me in the rearview mirror for confirmation.

"Yeah, why? Are you planning on checking up on him or something?" I snickered at my own words.

"Yes." Emmett and Rosalie replied immediately in unison. I leaned forward, studying their profiles for signs of humor and finding none.

"_Seriously_? Why?" I demanded.

Neither of them answered; they just shot me looks over their shoulders that said it should be perfectly obvious.

I shook my head, aghast. "Oh my God. It's like living with the Secret Service!"

Emmett chuckled then. "Just watching out for you, kid. By the way, sorry we're late. Did Alice warn you?"

I nodded. "So what took you so long?" I said, leaning forward, hoping my tone was casual enough to convey curiosity and not resentment. I didn't want them to think I was complaining.

Emmett looked back at me, a slight grin playing about his broad mouth. "Stopped to help a guy who broke down. Rosalie fixed him up well enough that he could make it to the mechanic's."

He chuckled now. "You should have seen the guy's face when Rose got out and popped his hood. He was already panting at the sight of her, and the second she started talking engines he lit up like a Christmas tree. I think if I hadn't been there he would have proposed."

Rosalie's tinkling laughter filled the car as we hit the main highway leading out of town.

"You know, I like this," she said suddenly. She turned her head to look out her side window. "Living in a bigger place, I mean. It makes life so much easier when everyone doesn't know who you are and aren't out to scrutinize your every move. We don't have to pretend to be going to college or worry about our ages so much…we can all just do our own thing. I think we might be able to stay here for quite a while before anyone gets suspicious. We should do this more often. No more small towns."

Emmett shrugged. "Works in theory, babe, but you know why Carlisle and Esme started picking the rural areas."

Rosalie sighed, looking annoyed. I scooted forward until I could rest my hands and my chin on the back of Emmett's seat. Rosalie turned, giving me a puzzled look and I grinned at her. "Oh, don't let me interrupt. Talk like I'm not even here."

Emmett snorted. "Was there something you wanted to know, Elisa?"

I sighed. "I thought I was being subtle about my attempt to filter out all your dark, vampire secrets."

Rosalie laughed. "Elisa, you are about as subtle as a jackhammer on a Sunday morning."

"OK, OK." I gave up with a sigh. "So why do you guys usually pick small towns like Forks? Doesn't that make you like a hundred times more conspicuous?"

They exchanged looks and then Emmett twisted in his seat slightly to face me.

"Well…that's actually the point. We used to live in larger towns…Esme doesn't like big cities but we needed to blend in and it's easier to do that in a crowd. But when Jasper and Alice moved in, things changed. Jasper had ten times the problem with self-control that the rest of us did. We had to re-evaluate. Carlisle felt it might be more motivating if it wasn't easy to cover up mistakes; if we lived someplace where we were known. The stakes had to be higher. Jasper knew our every move was being watched. There was so much more to lose if he - slipped."

"Oh." I thought about that for a moment. "That's…well, that's a lot of pressure. It's almost kind of - " _'Mean'_, is the word that popped into my head but I shook it off. Carlisle and Esme wouldn't be deliberately cruel. I was sure they'd agonized over their decisions once the needs of their family had changed.

"But Jasper's better now." I said, almost to myself. "I mean, he hasn't tried to eat anyone in ages, right? So maybe he's over the worst of it."

Rosalie shrugged. "We'll see." Her voice betrayed wariness and I winced silently at the implication. After all this time, they still weren't sure of him. I had to admit, I almost felt sorry for Jasper for a minute. It had to be tough to always be considered the weakest link. And after all, he'd stuck it out with them after almost killing Bella, stayed through the guilt and the blame he had to have been drowning in during the days after. That definitely said something about his determination to make things work.

I was mostly silent the rest of the way home, answering the perfunctory questions about my day with equally generic answers. My mind was full of too many new thoughts to concentrate on having a real conversation.

The nagging bit of sympathy I was feeling for Jasper lingered for the rest of the ride and all the way into the house. Rosalie and Emmett melted away almost immediately; probably to go run background checks on all my classmates.

Preferring not to think about that, I followed the sound of voices to the living room. Bella and Edward were there, speaking quietly to Esme and Alice. Jasper was there too, leaning against the wall next to Alice with his usual _'present but not participating'_ stance.

Heads turned in our direction when we came in. Edward, Bella, and Esme all smiled their hellos but it was Alice who spoke, turning towards me. "Hello, Elisa! Did you have a good day at school?"

I started slightly and I couldn't explain to myself why. Her voice was a little bit loud, maybe. "It was fine." I dropped my book bag as I answered her.

"That's great!" Alice beamed at me. I smiled weakly back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper move the slightest bit and my gaze was drawn to him. As soon as I looked, I wished I hadn't. He was looking at me, and his face was granite again, his mouth apparently kept from turning downward into a scowl by sheer force of will. I immediately felt myself getting defensive. I was getting so tired of this. What was his problem _now_?

Something in my face must have tipped off Alice because she inclined her head towards him just slightly and her fingers lightly brushed his arm. Jasper's expression immediately changed and unable to help myself, I stepped back. His face was all twisted up into something so bizarre, so completely opposite of the way he normally looked at me that I couldn't figure it out for a moment. He almost looked like he was in pain, his mouth contorted upwards…oh, wait. That was a _smile_. _Creepy_.

There was the quietest of snorts from Edward's direction and I was all too happy to look away from Jasper's forced friendly glance to see him watching me. Our eyes met, and then he looked away from me over to Alice. Something unspoken passed between them, and Alice exhaled a whisper quiet sigh.

I was struck with the urge to escape this awkward scenario. There were too many undercurrents in the room of façade and secrets.

"Um, I'm going to put this away." I indicated the bag I'd dropped by the couch.

"I'll carry it for you." Edward spoke up. He strode forward and plucked it from the floor before I could say anything, giving me no choice but to trail behind him into the hallway and up the staircase.

"OK, what was that about?" I asked as soon as we were out of sight. I lowered my voice even as I knew it was a wasted effort.

"What was what about?" Edward questioned blandly, looking over his shoulder at me as I followed him up the stairs.

"Oh please." I scoffed as we reached the landing and he led the way to my bedroom. "I don't know if I've gotten more observant or you guys are just less stealthy, but something's going on. Why was Alice so twitchy?"

Edward looked slightly uncomfortable now. "What do you mean?"

I knew I should drop it, especially since most of the household could probably hear my every word, but agitation propelled the words forward anyway.

"I'm not stupid, Edward. I know when someone's trying way too hard. My mom used to get all maniacally cheerful like that when something bad happened and she didn't want us to worry. Is there something I should know about?"

He was quiet for a moment as he opened my bedroom door and walked inside to put my bookbag on my desk. I immediately pushed it over and sat on the corner, swinging my legs and looking up at him expectantly.

Edward sighed and sat down at the edge of my bed, facing me.

"I'm afraid I may have picked a bad time to leave."

I pondered this for a moment. It wasn't exactly the explanation I'd been looking for but I was pretty sure I had pushed him as far as I could. "Is that why Alice is upset? Because you and Bella are leaving?"

Edward inclined his head but didn't speak. It was answer enough for me. I felt a bit guilty once again that I had forced their separation with my human vulnerability.

"Stop that." Edward half smiled. "We've been over this. It's not your fault."

I appreciated his words but I couldn't honestly see any way that it _wasn't_ my fault. I saw Edward open his mouth to object at that, and I spoke quickly to forestall him. "You shouldn't worry so much. She'll be OK. At least she can come visit you." I felt another sharp pang at that. All of the others could still keep Edward and Bella in their lives in some small way. _I_ was the one who would be saying a permanent goodbye.

Edward looked pained at that, and I sent a mental kick in his direction. "Your turn to stop beating yourself up. I'm not going to throw myself shrieking from the battlements or anything. Not that we have battlements…at least I don't think we do. Actually, I'm not exactly sure what battlements are."

Edward pressed his lips together but a guffaw escaped his lips anyway, interrupting my babbling. I flushed slightly but refused to let his amusement divert me.

"You know, I seem to recall having a conversation with a certain someone who told me that when you get a second chance at life, you should take it without regrets. You've earned your second chance, Edward. Time to hop off the guilt train, grab Bella, and make the most of it. No regrets. Be happy. You guys deserve it."

Edward chuckled. "And I'd thought I'd come up here to give _you_ advice."

I shrugged, grinning, and he stood up. "Are you coming back downstairs with me?"

I hesitated. "In a few minutes." I told him.

He nodded, and with a final grin, he stepped back towards the door and was gone before I could blink.

Once Edward was gone I jumped down from the desk to shrug out of my coat. As I hung it up in my closet a faint whiff of soap reached me – Jimmy's clean, boy scent, left behind after our hug. I smiled, remembering. It was going to be hard to adjust after Bella and Edward left, but at least I had something to look forward too.

As soon as it appeared, my smile faded. Did I really, though? Sure, we'd had a moment that afternoon but what did it mean? Maybe I hadn't come right out and said it but I hadn't exactly been subtle about liking Jimmy. Tandy had certainly picked up on it, anyway. He had to know and if he liked me too, wouldn't he have said something by now? Asked me to hang after school, or go to a movie? Even just asked for my phone number? Done at least one thing to show that he'd actually noticed I was a girl?

Feeling a bit irritated now, I wandered out of my room and downstairs into the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator, but we were apparently lacking chocolate and nothing else looked appealing. I sighed heavily and slumped onto a stool in front of the counter. Trying not to think about Jimmy, I picked up a book I'd left there this morning after breakfast and attempted to lose myself. It was a wasted effort. I couldn't concentrate. I tossed it aside impatiently. There was no way around it…I had some serious boy induced moping to do and I might as well get it over with.

There was a blank notepad left on the counter, and I picked up the pencil next to it, doodling idly and contemplating my potentially boy repelling DNA.

"What are you up to in here, Elisa?"

I jumped a little as Bella's voice sounded behind me. I hadn't even heard her come in. "Sneaky." I informed her. "Preparing for centuries of giving unsuspecting mortals heart attacks, I see."

Bella smiled a bit at that, sliding onto the stool next to me. "I was wondering where you went." She eyed my face for a moment. "You look a little down. Is everything alright?"

I blew out a breath, debating whether to answer, but the chance to talk it all out with someone who might actually understand was irresistible. "It's just…_boys_. They're stupid."

Bella grinned. "Are you only now figuring that out?"

"No, I'm just reiterating it." I swung my legs, still leaning forward on the counter. "It's just…I don't get it. I like this boy and he acts like he likes me. I mean, he goes out of his way to spend time with me, walks me to class, hangs out at my locker, tells me he's glad I came to St. John's...how can I be misreading that?" I sighed heavily. "I used to be so good at this."

Bella shrugged. "Maybe he's shy."

I shook my head. "Not Jimmy." I thought it over for a moment. "You know what I think it is? He's really smart. I'll bet he's looking for someone deep. Maybe I'm too shallow for him. I so need a new image." I dropped the pencil and contemplated for a moment. "I can change. I should try to be more like you. I'll trade in Gossip Girl for Masterpiece Theater, disdain the masses, and never wear pink again. What do you think?"

Bella laughed. "Is this still about needing advice on boys, or are you just making fun of me?"

I giggled. "Maybe a little of both." I admitted.

Bella leaned forward, resting her elbows on the counter and cupping her chin in her hand as she contemplated me. "Elisa, you're great the way you are. Do I really need to give you the lecture about trying to change just for a guy? Besides, you are not shal – _wow_!"

Startled by her change of tone, I looked around the kitchen for a second before I realized what she was staring at…the sheet of paper that I'd been doodling on. I followed her gaze and my jaw dropped.

"I didn't know you could draw!" Bella reached for the paper and picked it up as I gaped soundlessly at her. "This is amazing, Elisa…you're very talented."

"Uh…er…" I stammered, staring at the paper. A young girl's face stared back at me, a child really, maybe about ten. She had dark hair curling softly around her shoulders and her features were more blunt than delicate.

Bella's brow was wrinkled lightly as she studied it, as if she were trying to place something, and then she shrugged and handed the drawing back to me. "Is she someone you know?"

"…No." I finally managed. "It's just …random."

Bella still looked mildly perplexed. I quickly folded the drawing in half before she could notice that my hands were shaking and shoved it inside my book. "I have to go to the bathroom." I mumbled. Without waiting for a response, I rushed out of the room.

Once inside the huge downstairs bathroom, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. My heart was thudding so hard in my chest that I could almost hear it myself.

_Calm down, calm down, calm down._ I chanted to myself. I stood up and stumbled towards the sink, turning on the water full blast, hoping it would cover any noise that I was making, then leaned forward until my head touched the mirror, closing my eyes. I forced myself to concentrate only on the noise of the rushing water, and when that began to relax me a bit, I turned my attention to the sound of my own heartbeat, counting each thump and willing them to slow. Panic and unanswered questions still pushed at the edges of my mind but I refused to let them in. I wasn't even going to acknowledge this one. It was going into the vault, along with the incident in the library, to never see the light of day again.

Once I felt a little more steady, I splashed some water on my face, hoping to cool my flushed cheeks and patted my face dry. Just as I turned off the water, there was a tap on the door.

"Elisa? Is everything OK?" Bella's voice sounded.

I put the towel I was holding away and hurried to open the door. "I'm fine." I told her.

Bella wrinkled her nose, looking less than convinced, but she nodded anyway. "You rushed out of the room awfully fast."

"Um…sorry. Nature called and she was kind of impatient." I gave her a shaky grimace that I hoped passed for a smile.

Bella's eyebrows climbed even higher on her forehead at that but she let it go. "Come on, let's go see what everyone else is up to."

She led the way back to the living room. To my disappointment, Jasper was still there but he didn't look up when we came in, which was a relief. His eyes were on Alice, who came bouncing forward as soon as we entered.

"Let's go to your place, Bella. I'm going to help you pack." Alice beamed at her. "I can help you coordinate your wardrobe."

Bella grimaced slightly and then gave Alice an entirely fake smile. "Um…great."

A quiet chuckle went around the room and then Bella looked at me. "Do you want to help, Elisa? Knowing Alice, this is probably going to take hours."

"Sure - " I started to say but Alice's expression had me breaking off. For just a split second, before her face became a smooth, smiling mask, a look of almost panic had flared into her eyes. Jasper's eyes suddenly slid from her face to mine, then narrowed in resentment. At that moment, a piece of the puzzle I didn't even realize had been missing slid into place inside my head.

"Um…" I looked away as suspicions and hurt pricked at me. "Actually, I uh…I told my friend I'd call them but maybe in a little while?" I mentally crossed my fingers.

"Just come over when you're ready." Bella smiled at me. Alice smiled too but something was still flickering in her eyes that didn't match up with her expression. She took Bella's arm and the two of them walked out of the living room, Alice already talking rapidly, apparently trying to make a case for why Bella would need haute couture in the wilds of Alaska. I watched them go for a moment, my mind working feverishly. Across the room, Jasper was watching them as well, his eyes lingering on Alice. Once she was gone, he remained only a moment longer before exiting as well.

As much as I wanted to spend time with Bella, I was almost reluctant now to go to the carriage house. I warred with myself over it, hating that I suddenly felt uncomfortable about being near Alice and simultaneously trying to convince myself that the look I'd seen on her face had nothing to do with me.

Just as I'd finally made up my mind to forget about it and seize this last chance to spend time with Bella and Edward, Esme had decided she also wanted to go help Bella pack. Rosalie and Emmett decided to join us as well, and before we knew it everyone was going, even Jasper.

Carlisle joined as as soon as his shift was over and the nine of us filled the tiny carriage house to capacity. No one seemed to mind the close quarters. Packing was forgotten in the chorus of conversation and laughter. Bella and I made dinner, breaking in her tiny kitchen for the first time. After the two of us ate, Edward played the piano and to my surprise, Alice accompanied him, adding her exquisite vocals to his notes. I was stunned by how beautifully she sang. There was nothing now in her behavior that lent credence to the odd vibes I had gotten from her earlier. I must have imagined everything.

With all of us there, the night ended up turning into a goodbye celebration of sorts. It was a nice way to make up for the birthday party we had decided not to throw for Bella. The room reverberated with laughter and cheer, all tension forgotten. Even Jasper seemed more relaxed, or at least I thought so, until he left abruptly after a couple of hours. Alice watched him go with an unfathomable expression. No one else seemed to notice, or at the least they were too polite to remark on it.

The impromptu gala wore on into the night. I was determined to stay as long as everyone else did – even Bella wasn't showing signs of winding down - but after the clock chimed midnight I could no longer hide my frequent yawns and drooping eyelids. I lounged on the sofa, watching the others and trying to keep up with conversations.

"Elisa, why don't I take you back to the house and put you to bed?" Esme was by my side.

"I'm not t – " My attempt to deny my obvious exhaustion was ruined by an enormous yawn. I smiled ruefully. "OK, I'm beat." I yawned again as I got to my feet. "Stay, Esme. I'll walk myself back and go to bed."

Esme started to object but I waved her down. Any other night I probably would have lost that argument but I knew she wanted to spend as much time with Edward and Bella as possible too.

I walked the winding stone path back to the main house enjoying the silence. The gardens, mostly cut down in preparation for winter, still looked ethereal and mysterious in the moonlight. If I hadn't been so tired, and it wasn't so cold, I would have liked to have stayed outside for a while, experiencing the enigmatic way night changed everything into something different.

I walked through the back door and stopped in the corridor to stretch before I went upstairs to bed. I'd barely taken another step when it happened. Out of nowhere, a cold hand gripped my upper arm. I gasped in shock and barely had time to register the fact that Jasper had appeared beside me before he was dragging me down the hallway. I was too stunned to object as he shoved me inside Esme's empty sitting room and closed the door behind us.

By then, his grip on my arm had slackened enough that I was able to pull out of his grasp. I whirled around to face him, suddenly furious. "Excuse you! What do you think you're doing?"

"We need to talk." His voice was cold and his face colder. The only spot of emotion was his eyes, which blazed at me.

"What, you can't just say that? You know, just because you ultra strong supernatural types can drag us humans around like paper dolls doesn't mean you should!"

"Keep your voice down." He snapped back at me. I opened my mouth to retort but his eyes narrowed, warning me. I swallowed, my anger starting to wash away under a tidal wave of apprehension. I had no idea what I'd done this time to set him off, but clearly he was extremely angry.

Jasper didn't keep me wondering long. Out of thin air he was waving a piece of paper in front of my face. I gasped as I recognized it – the drawing from earlier, the one I'd been trying so hard to forget.

"This fell out of your book. Where did you get it?"

I blinked, startled by the accusatory tone of his voice. "What are you talking about? I didn't get it anywhere. I drew it."

Jasper stared at me. "_You_ drew this." Deep skepticism etched itself into his features.

I gazed back at him, bewildered. What was it to him, anyway? "Yes." I managed, blinking rapidly.

Jasper raised an eyebrow and with just that little gesture seemed to reveal a wealth of doubt. It unsettled me, both because he was making me feel I'd done something horribly wrong and because deep down, I wondered if maybe I had.

"I need you to tell me the truth, Elisa." Jasper's voice, to my surprise, had lost some of its edge. I looked up at him and there was something in his eyes – desperation, perhaps? I wasn't sure but for a moment, it made him just the slightest bit less scary.

"I _am_ telling you the truth. I did draw it. I mean, sort of." I blurted out. I grimaced as I realized what I'd said.

" 'Sort of' ?" Jasper's voice was impatient again. "Either you did or you didn't. Which is it?"

I couldn't even muster up any more answers. Nothing was going to be good enough to satisfy him anyway. I turned away, crossing my arms over my chest, feeling myself shutting down. It was all too much; a giant swirl of confusion and emotions I couldn't handle anymore.

Jasper heaved a long sigh behind me. There was a welcome breath of quiet, and then a sense of calm began to steal over me, wiping away the chaos that had been clouding my mind.

"Cheater." I grumbled, but I couldn't feel real annoyance. It was such a relief to be able to think clearly again.

I heard Jasper tapping his foot impatiently behind me and I turned back to face him. The mellowness enveloping me was bewitching. I wanted to answer his questions now, even as I knew I was being tricked into doing so.

"I don't care whether you believe me. I did draw it. It's just…I don't know _how_."

"What do you mean?" His voice was careful now, like he was trying not to upset me again.

A bit of remembered panic was coming back to me, dissipating the calm slightly. I began to pace. "I can't draw." I admitted. "I mean, at all. I've never been good at it. Even my stick figures have inadequacy issues. There's just no way I could have drawn anything like that at all, but I _did_."

"What about this?" Jasper tapped something on the picture, a line of writing underneath the drawing that I hadn't noticed before. I stepped forward to read it. _Cynthia_, it spelled out, in miniscule but perfect script. The name was familiar, but I couldn't quite place it.

"That's not my handwriting." I whispered. I cringed back slightly, waiting for his reaction.

Jasper looked away from me for a long moment. "I know." He said. His voice was still quiet. "It's Alice's." He turned back to me.

My mouth opened but nothing came out as I turned his words over in my mind, trying to make sense of them.

"The drawing is exactly her style too." He continued, sounding more like he was speaking to himself.

"I don't understand." I choked. "Jasper, I swear I didn't take one of her sketches. _I_ drew this. Ask Bella – she was there!"

"I believe you."

OK, _that_ was unexpected. "Uh…good. Do you mind telling me what is going on then?" I twisted my fingers together as I spoke.

"I don't know." It was in his voice now, that faint edge of desperation.

I tried again for answers. "Do you know who Cynthia is?"

Jasper hesitated for several seconds before he spoke. "Cynthia was Alice's little sister."

"Really?" My voice was high pitched, surprised. "Is this actually her? How do you know? I thought Alice didn't remember her."

"So did I." His voice was so faint now that I wasn't sure I'd heard his words correctly. He lapsed into silence now, his eyes far away.

"OK, I am massively weirded out and this is coming from the girl who died and was resurrected to live with a family of vampires. Why is this happening? What does any of this have to do with _me_?" I demanded.

Jasper's eyes fixed on me, and the coldness was back. "If I had any idea, Elisa, I wouldn't be stuck here having this conversation with you."

I glared at him, trying to cover up the hurt his obvious insult made me feel. "Well, if talking to me is such a burden, why don't we just skip all this and go ask Alice about it?"

Jasper's jaw tensed. "That's not a good idea."

"Why not?" I demanded.

Jasper didn't reply; just went on standing there. Despite myself, I couldn't help but begin to feel a bit bad for him. Whether he was being a complete jerk about it or not, it was clear this whole freaky situation had him just as thrown as I was, and he didn't have a clue what to do about it. For a moment, it brought back the feeling of sympathy, I'd had for him earlier in the day. For once he was almost relatable.

And then, of course, he had to ruin the moment by speaking.

"You are not to tell Alice about any of this." It wasn't a request; it was a command.

I hadn't actually been planning on telling Alice anything, but his tone irked me. I crossed my arms. "I don't see why I should have to keep secrets from Alice. Maybe she should know."

"Elisa." My name was hissed through gritted teeth. "If you breathe one word of this to her – "

He stopped as my eyes filled with angry tears. "Are you _threatening_ me?" I demanded. It took an immense effort to keep my voice from breaking.

"If I have to." Jasper's voice was ice.

I should have been feeling infuriated all over again that he had the nerve to try and intimidate me like that but more than anger, more than fright, I felt hurt. In his eyes, I wasn't family any more than I had been the first time I stumbled across him in the forest. I wasn't anyone he could trust. He thought he had to use fear just to get through to me. Did he hate me so much he couldn't comprehend that I cared about Alice too?

"I'm not going to let you do this to me." I stumbled backwards towards the door, my voice choked. "I've had enough of being pushed around. I'm not going to keep secrets if the price I pay is living in fear. I'm telling Alice everything right now, and if you don't want me to, try and stop me. You can, of course, but how are you going to explain what you've done to your family?"

My eyes were too blurry to see his reaction to my words. As the tears overflowed, I turned and walked blindly forward. I had just opened the door when it slammed back shut again. I blinked away more tears and looked up to see him towering above me, his hand pressed against the doorjamb, holding it closed.

"_Please_." It was all he said, but the desperation wasn't hidden now. It was rolling off him in waves.

I stayed frozen at the doorway for one more moment, then sighed, turning back towards him.

"Fine. You win. I'm only keeping quiet for Alice's sake though, not yours." I slumped against the door. "I don't know why we're bothering to be all secretive though. Can't she just – _see_ us?"

Jasper hesitated. "Perhaps. We'll just have to chance it. Her visions…they're clouded lately, and she still doesn't see you as clearly as the rest of us."

His attempt to keep his voice casual wasn't working. I didn't know whether he was losing a grip on his own emotional control or what, but worry seeped into every syllable.

"What's going on, Jasper? What's wrong with Alice?"

Jasper closed his eyes and just shook his head. I waited for more, but he didn't speak, nor did he open his eyes. His silence was maddening. Vampires in general, I'd noticed, were infuriatingly vague. Apparently, along with immortality, superhuman strength, and transcendent beauty came the complete inability to ever again answer a simple question with a straight answer.

"OK, then." I tried again. "Does it have something to do with me? Is that why you two haven't been around? Is _Alice_ the one who can't stand to be near me?"

I didn't think it was possible for Jasper to look any more tense, but he managed it. "You have no idea you're talking about."

"No, I think I do." I turned away as the tears threatened to come back. It explained so much. Now I understood why he hated me – beyond the mistakes I'd made, beyond the threat I posed to the life he and the rest of the family had worked so hard to build, was the heart of the matter. I was hurting Alice. I didn't know why, or how, and worst of all, I didn't know how to stop.

"What are you going to do? Are you going to – " I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I could finish. "Are you going to leave too?"

Jasper shook his head. "We'll see." His voice was flat again, and tinged with a hint of resentment. Clearly, I wasn't alone in feeling I was to blame. How could I face Esme every morning if Alice and Jasper left as well? No matter what platitudes anyone threw at me, it would be my fault. And as selfish as it was, I hurt more over the idea for myself than anyone else. I didn't think I could stand another goodbye.

"Don't be upset." Jasper spoke through gritted teeth again and I realized I must have sent a rush of melancholy his way.

"Oh, so sorry!" I snapped, glad for a chance to vent instead of wallow. "Am I inconveniencing you with my unruly human emotions? In case you haven't noticed, this whole mess doesn't just suck for _you._ And I'd try for that stiff upper lip thing you seem to be so good at it, but the fact that I'm having freaky automatic drawing episodes and making Alice wig every time she gets within ten feet of me and _no one will tell me why _is harshing my mellow just a bit!_"_

Jasper's lips twitched. For a moment it seemed as if he were struggling with himself, perhaps about to speak, but then his expression stilled. Silence reigned once again.

I snorted derisively at his lack of response. "You know, for someone who's supposedly all empathic, you suck at warm and fuzzy. Can I go now?" I turned back to the door.

Jasper waved a sardonic hand towards the door. "Be my guest."

Just as I opened it, his voice sounded again. "You _will_ tell me if there are any more incidents like this."

"Oh goody, more commands." I said under my breath. Then I turned back, smiling slightly.

"Sure. I'll tell you…on one condition."

There was disbelief on his face as he looked down at me. "_What_ condition?" He demanded.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "From now on, if you want to talk to me, you will _ask_. There will be no more unfounded accusations, no glowering at me from darkened corners, and most of all, you will not in any way shape or form drag me anywhere. From this day forward, I am Handle With Care only. Got it?" I thought over what I just said. "OK, I guess that was more than one condition, but you get the general idea."

Jasper's eyes sparked angrily. "And if I don't agree?" He pulled himself up to his full height.

"Then not only am I _not_ your clandestine partner in this little…whatever the hell this is, but I tell Alice everything. Including the part where you threatened me."

"I didn't exactly threaten –." Jasper broke off at my smug smile. I had him in a corner and we both knew it. "_Fine_." He bit off the word.

"That's not good enough." I shook my head. "You have to promise."

"Has anyone ever told you that you are exceedingly obnoxious?" His voice was exasperated.

I decided to ignore that the answer to his question was a resounding YES. "Has anyone ever told _you _that when you smile you look like a serial killer?"

Jasper's mouth twitched. "Elisa, I _am_ a serial killer."

My smug look instantly faded. "Oh." I squeaked. "Um, right. Well…OK then. This has been swell and all, but I think I'm going to go now and find a nice, quiet place to – well, _hide_."

"We'll talk." He reminded me as I stepped out the door.

"Can't wait." I mumbled, looking back at him one last time. The ghost of a real smile played around his mouth, transforming his face. For one second, I saw again that Jasper I'd met so long ago in the forest the day Emmett had saved me from the bear. The Jasper that might have liked me. A poignant ache settled over me and without another word, I turned and fled down the hall.

I was still shaking from a mixture of triumph, confusion, and fear ten minutes later after I'd changed into my pajamas. I sat on my bed, too tired to let myself try to puzzle out the events of this very long day.

As I reached out to turn off the lamp, strains of faint music reached me. I cocked my head, listening, and stood up, following the sound to my window. I opened it and leaned out, looking towards the carriage house. Edward was playing again and Alice was singing once more. They must have had a window open as well because I could hear it plainly now, the folk song Alice was singing.

_There was an old woman_

_There was an old man_

_They lived along the high road…_

Ignoring the chill breeze that was wafting in and raising goosebumps on my arms, I left the window open and crawled under my heavy comforter. The tinkling of the piano and Alice's ringing crystal tones were the perfect lullaby.

_And on we go and on we go_

_Can you recall the day we married, oh?_

_And on we go and on we go_

_Wouldn't you be frightened to die alone?_

_Come a little closer, my darling, oh…_

I shivered as a new chill scratched along my back, dancing at the corners of my consciousness, and then I pushed it all away, letting Alice's lilting voice lull me into sleep.

**To Be Continued…**

_Thanks again for reading!__ In the next chapter, Bella's birthday dawns and as the Cullen family prepares to say their goodbyes to Bella and Edward, an unexpected visitor shows up to change everything._


	15. Happily Ever After

_(I'm uploading this at an unholy hour after writing all night and I'm cross eyed with exhaustion. Any gigantic typos, etc, will be taken care of when I regain consciousness, I promise.)_

**_A/N_**

_At very, very long last the Great Chapter Fail of '09 has come to an end and I present to you, with great relief and much groveling, Chapter 15 of Evening Falls. Despite the title , it is most definitely NOT the final chapter._

_I can't even express how much I appreciate all who are still reading after this long. It's your comments and reviews help keep me committed to this story even when it feels like I can't get another word of it out. And I also wanted to send a slobbery, misty-eyed thank you to smellyia for the wonderful write up this fic received via TLYDF. I was truly honored and it really was the kick in the ass that I needed.  
_

_To the Erudites - as always you're an inspiration._

_Navi, what would I do without the 2am timed writing and hand holding? Thanks for putting up with me for so very long.  
_

_And to Amy, I swear I would have stopped showing up long ago if it wasn't for you._

**Evening Falls:**

**Chapter Fifteen:**

**Happily Ever After**

It would have been laughingly optimistic to think that I could escape the dreams that night. Luckily, I'd been too tired to even think about it, or I might not have gone to sleep. All too soon they had me in their thrall. There were too many different images flickering in and out of my restless sleep. I woke often, trying to shake them off, but was too exhausted to resist the darkness for long.

I woke again somewhere near dawn, a bit more aware this time, at least enough to notice the sky turning light outside my window. Part of me fought to stay awake but my eyelids were too heavy. It was moments before I was lost once more.

The steady, maddening beep beep noise next to my ear was the next thing I became aware of. I was lying on my back, held in place by tubes and and the needle stuck through the back of my too small hand. The antiseptic smell stung my nostrils.

I couldn't see beyond my curtained bed but I could hear footsteps, muted voices, the sound of doors opening and closing. The machine beside my bed kept beeping. In the next room, I heard voices growing slightly louder, then abruptly, the high pitched sobbing of a young child. The voices rose in false reassurance and blended together to become a maddening chorus. I couldn't even raise my ensnared hand to cover my ears.

"Elisa." The voice sounded, weary, with a hint of something else. Anger? Fear?

I tried to turn my head towards the speaker but my body didn't seem able to work with my mind. It took several seconds for my head to actually move.

"Dad?" My voice was high-pitched, younger, the way I heard it sometimes when I was sifting through all my rapidly fading memories.

He smiled when our eyes met, but it was as false as the lying voices in the next room.

"Dad." I whispered again and my voiced cracked. I felt tears well and overflow onto my numb cheeks. "I don't like it here. I want to go home."

"I want to take you home." My father whispered back and I heard the caution now. He didn't want to be overheard. We were partners in this somehow…us and him, together against…what? "But you have to do one thing for me first."

I wanted to ask, but my voice wouldn't cooperate. I just lay there, helpless to do anything but question with my eyes.

He leaned forward, his eyes locked on mine.

"You have to forget."

Abruptly I was awake again, gasping. The sky was lighter now, filling my room with the typical washed out gray of dawn in St. John's . I was shivering, my blankets twisted around my legs and not affording the rest of me any protection against the chill air wafting in from my still open window.

I struggled to untangle myself even as I blinked back the tears I must have been shedding in my sleep. My breathing was too heavy, my heart pounding. The dream danced away, trying to escape even as I struggled to hold onto it. I couldn't let this one go the way so many others had. I wanted to remember it, even the suffocating sense of claustrophobia I'd felt being trapped in that room. It was worth it for what else the dream had brought me…the clearest memory of my father's face that I'd had in months.

There was a quiet knock on the door. "Elisa?" I heard Esme call softly. "Is everything OK in there?"

I quickly swiped at my damp eyes, knowing she wouldn't be fooled but hoping she'd chalk up my tears to Edward and Bella's imminent departure.

"I'm fine." I called back and the door swung open.

Esme stepped inside, her eyes concerned. Immediately, she looked at the window. "Has this been open all night? You must be freezing." In a flash she was across my room, shutting it. "That should make you a little warmer. You know, it's still very early. Why don't you go back to sleep?"

"No, no." I jumped out of bed immediately. "I'm up."

Esme's brow wrinkled but she smiled anyway. "Alright, then. Why don't you get dressed and I'll see you downstairs?"

I got dressed quickly, still shivering. The memory of the dream was already floating away, and as much as I wanted to hold onto to the clear image of my father, the rest of it held a murky sense of horror that I was only too glad to forget.

The sky was lightening quickly now, although the clouds showed no sign of lifting. The brightness entering my room made it easier to for my spirits to rise. I didn't want to be in a bad mood today – it was Bella's birthday. Although I wasn't exactly sure how we were going to celebrate it. Originally Alice and I were going to throw her a party, a plan she'd reluctantly agreed to, but neither Bella nor Edward had been able to hide the panic that flared into their eyes whenever we mentioned it. Birthday parties were clearly still a sore subject for them, so we quickly gave up that idea.

Or maybe Alice had just given in so quickly because it would have been too hard to spend that much time with me, planning everything. I frowned as the thought occurred to me, and then shook it off quickly. Today I would think nothing but happy, cheerful thoughts, especially considering the wreck I was bound to be tomorrow when Edward and Bella said their goodbyes.

I was concentrating so hard on happy go luckiness as I bounded down the stairs that I didn't pay close enough attention to what I was doing. Near the bottom, I skipped a step completely and went hurtling towards the landing. I had one second to think about how I was going to completely ruin the whole day by ending up in the hospital before I hit something hard and stopped moving altogether.

Emmett smiled at me as he carefully set me back on my feet. "Good morning, Elisa." He grinned as I gasped in relief. "Starting your day the Bella way, I see."

"I heard that!" We heard Bella call from somewhere in the vicinity of the kitchen.

Emmett laughed, leading the way towards her voice. I entered the dining room after him to find Esme was not alone. The rest of the family surrounded her, gathered inside, sitting around the table. I raised an eyebrow at this impromptu scenario. It almost looked like I had interrupted some kind of meeting.

Wait – maybe not. There was one person missing… Alice .

I hesitated, then hazarded a glance at Jasper. He looked up at me at the same time. So far, his face was carefully blank with no trace of his usual hostility. I took that as a good sign, or at least a sign he'd decided to humor our agreement of the night before, rather than kill me in my sleep instead.

"Good morning, Jasper." I said, deciding as long as we were being civil I might as well make the most of it.

"Good morning, Elisa," he responded, his voice just as deliberately polite as mine.

I noticed several curious glances being tossed our way before Esme spoke up. "I have breakfast for you here." She nodded behind her at the kitchen counter and I noted the full plate with amusement. Clearly Esme had decided if she cooked before I got downstairs not only would I not have a chance to object, but I'd eat it out of politeness. Sneaky.

I had to move past Jasper to get to my food. "Excuse me," I murmured as I edged past him.

Jasper immediately moved to the side. "No, pardon _me_."

I looked up at Jasper suspiciously at the overly solicitous tone and just for a moment, I saw his eyes crinkle like he was going to laugh. Despite myself I couldn't repress a giggle. The circle of faces around us looked even more confused now, and I had to bit the inside of my cheek before I started laughing outright. Then I saw Edward's face and immediately tensed. He was giving first me, then Jasper, a puzzled bordering on suspicious look. Quickly, I looked away. Jasper's face was stone again, and our tiny second of camaraderie was gone as if it had never happened.

As I sat down and began to eat, low conversation began again. I snuck peeks over my shoulder as Emmett joined the others in the dining area just through the doorway. From the gist of what I heard, they were solidifying the final details of Bella and Edward's departure the next day. I listened vaguely as I ate my pancakes without really tasting them. I was still tired enough that it was easy to allow my mind to go blank, to sit there and not think of anything much.

By the time I was done eating, the kitchen and dining room had emptied out. I jumped down from the stool and wandered over to the sliding glass door, looking out at the cloud filled sky beyond. It wasn't any brighter than it had been when I first woke up, taking its sweet time transitioning from night to dawn. For just a moment I was filled with an oddly apprehensive feeling, as if the sun would never rise at all. Everything seemed cast in shadows, like winter had snuck in and overtaken fall, unwelcome and unrelenting.

I shook my head at my own melodramatic meanderings as I left the room. I was clearly still having a hard time adjusting to near constant gloom after living my first fifteen years in the land of eternal sunshine. It was making me morose. I'd have to nip this disturbing tendency in the bud before I found myself sporting a dyed emo fringe haircut and nursing a rabid crush on Gerard Way.

I had barely made it into the hallway before Emmett re-appeared, making me gasp in surprise as he slung a casual arm around my shoulder. I turned, objecting to being startled, but he was already speaking over me.

"What are you up to, early bird?"

I smiled back. Emmett was like a walking ray of sunlight. Just being near him had the ability to lift my spirits. "Nothing. I think everyone's busy. I guess I'm going to kill time and work on my stupid Life Science project."

Emmett made a face. "You're doing homework willingly? You really must be bored. What's the project?"

I scowled, remembering. "I have to identify five species of local wildlife, and describe their habitats. All because I had to open my big mouth in class and tell Mr. B that the Eastern Grey Squirrel is not exclusive to this region. Excuse me for actually paying attention."

Emmett frowned. "Is this teacher picking on you?"

I shrugged. "I think it was just my turn. He's an equal opportunist – he hates us all."

"Huh." Emmett grinned suddenly. "Get your coat."

"Why?" I asked, already turning towards the coat closet at the end of the hallway. "Where are we going?"

His grin widened. "To do your homework, of course."

**xXx**

"Emmett!"

"Yes?" Emmett's voice floated up to me from the ground, aggravatingly unconcerned as he watched me cling desperately to the tree branch high above him.

"I'm going to fall!" I tried to shriek the words, but a sudden gust of wind blew into my face and carried the sound away. I gasped as a wave of dizziness made me sway dangerously.

Far below my precarious position, Emmett looked up at me. "Elisa, come on. Would _I_ let you fall?" He called back up to me, actually managing to interject a note of offense into his words.

"I could answer that question with a lot more confidence if you'd stayed up here with me!" I yelled back.

Emmett snickered loud enough for me to hear even from this distance. "Neither beast nor bird is going to come out with me around. You're perfectly safe, I swear. Just take the picture, and then I'll come back up and get you," he promised.

"But – " My protest was weak and I gave up quickly. All I was supposed to do was snap a picture of the squirrel's nest that was wedged into the branch a foot away from me, and hopefully the squirrel itself if it deigned to make an appearance. How was I going to explain that the simple act of reaching into my pocket to remove the digital camera required far more defiance of gravity than I felt was wise to engage in from my treacherous post? Even if Emmett wasn't an invulnerable vampire and could relate to my fear at all, he'd still laugh at my cowardice, but I couldn't help it. I distinctly remembered the last time I'd been up in one of these trees and the fall that came thereafter. I wasn't looking to repeat the experience.

I whimpered to myself as I tried to pry the camera out of my suddenly uncooperative jacket pocket, trying not to peek down as I did so. After several trembling seconds my efforts paid off.

"OK, I got the shot! Come and get me now!" I couldn't hide the quaver in my voice.

In a flash, Emmett leapt onto the trunk and zoomed to my side. Too close to peeing my pants terror to be embarrassed, I wrapped my arms around tightly and buried my face in his neck as he began a much slower descent, one of his arms securely around my waist.

"You can look now," Emmett's voice teased after a couple of minutes. I opened my eyes to greet the welcome sight of the ground that was now a reassuring, non-lethal distance away. Emmett tensed, then jumped the remaining distance. We landed lightly on the ground, and he carefully set me back on my feet. I swayed for a moment and relaxed, happy that my rubbery legs were still able to hold me up.

Emmett held out his hand. "Let me see it."

I handed him the camera. He looked carefully at the picture display. "Perfect. If you don't get the extra credit for this, I'm going to eat your teacher."

I giggled as I took the camera back.

Emmett was uncharacteristically quiet as I put the camera away and made a check mark next to Eastern Grey Squirrel on the scribbled list I'd dug out of my other pocket. I gave him a quizzical look as I waited for him to speak.

"Are we going to talk about this, Elisa?"

"Talk about what?" Confused, I stashed my pencil behind my ear and looked up at him.

Emmett gave a pointed look around at the trees. "Homework at seven in the morning? Really? What's up with that?" He shoved his hands in his pocket and leaned back against the tree.

"This field trip was your idea." I feigned obtuseness although I was well aware of what he was getting at.

Emmett sighed, ignoring my inept sidestep. "You told Carlisle that you weren't having nightmares anymore."

I folded my hands across my chest, feeling neatly trapped. "I'm not! I mean -" My tone lost its edge when I looked back up at him. Emmett was so hard to deceive. He was like Rosalie in that way. They both saw things others didn't, and neither one of them had any patience for subterfuge. "OK, maybe I lied. Are you going to tell him?"

Emmett shook his head. "I wouldn't do that, but I'm sure he probably suspects." He straightened up. "Look, I get that you don't want anyone to make a big deal about it, and I'm not going to. Just keep in mind that you can talk to me when you need to. OK?"

I hesitated. The subtle note of hurt in his voice was back, and this time it wasn't feigned. I felt a piercing stab of guilt at that and I wished I could tell him that of anyone, he was the one I'd choose to talk to first if it had been at all possible. The problem was, all of the reasons that I wanted to tell him everything were the same reasons why I couldn't. If Emmett got the slightest inkling that Jasper had done anything to frighten me, he'd beat his brother like a drum first and ask questions later. I couldn't be responsible for any more divisions in the family.

"Emmett…" I tried to think of the right thing to say. "I will remember that, I promise."

Emmett smiled back, looking appeased. "You up for more? We still have four to go."

"Would it involve more tree climbing?" I bit my lip, trying not to experience heart failure at the thought.

Emmett laughed and chucked me under the chin. "Why not? You held your own up there pretty well. I think you're an adventurer at heart, even if you don't know it yet. There is so much I can show you…" His words trailed off and his face became speculative. "You know what you'd love? Skydiving! It's a total kick. How about I take you out for your birthday?"

My eyes widened in panic. "Um…no?" I managed to squeak out, but Emmett's attention was suddenly elsewhere. He turned away from me, his shoulders tense, staring through the trees to our right.

I was instantly quiet, recognizing his wary posture. Silence reigned for another moment then abruptly, Emmett grabbed me around the waist and galloped towards a thick stand of trees. I gasped in surprise but forced myself to not pepper him with the questions I wanted to ask.

He set me down behind the largest tree and stood behind me. The thick tree trunk kept us both hidden from view. I turned to him, questions in my eyes, and he smiled faintly, dispelling my alarm. "A couple of hunters," he breathed into my ear. "Just don't want them asking questions."

I nodded, understanding, as I heard faint men's voices coming closer to where we were hiding. Emmett had taken me a decent, albeit short for him, distance from our home, deep into the forest. A pair of teenagers in the middle of nowhere, with no hiking or camping equipment and clearly not dressed to brave the elements would definitely have been hard to explain.

The hunters, two older men dressed in camoflauge colors, green vests, and brown caps, clearly had no idea anyone else was around as they walked the path mere feet away from where we were hidden. Their rifles were held casually at their sides, and their voices rang out clearly in the early morning stillness. As I peeked, the dog at their side pricked up his floppy ears and turned in our direction. I shrank back. Next to me, Emmett held his ground but his face was wary as we heard the dog begin to whine and growl.

"Ranger! Quiet!" One of the men ordered.

"Something over there?" The other man questioned. I didn't dare look now but I imagined him turning to walk in our direction. Emmett was frozen, perfectly motionless as we waited to see if we'd be discovered.

"Let it go, whatever it is. I want to get deeper in before we let Ranger loose."

I breathed a silent sigh of relief as we heard the men began walking once again. Their dog gave another mournful whine but obediently began to trot after its master.

As the hunters continued down the trail, snippets of conversation floated back to me. "Hey, did you hear there was another bear attack just outside of Buchans? Some idiot with a camcorder followed the bear for nearly a mile before it turned on him."

"Damn. Did the guy make it?"

I peeked through a gap in the leaves as the other hunter shook his head. "Nope. The video he shot was all over the news – I'm surprised you didn't see it. They think it's the same bear that attacked that other camper two weeks ago. They're gonna shoot it – if they ever find it."

The other hunter's face lit up. "Maybe we should head out there."

The first hunter snorted loudly. "You want to get arrested for poaching? Besides, I'll bet it's rabid. Two people in one month – that's not normal. Something's making it crazy. You go and get yourself killed if you want. I'm staying right here."

The second hunter sighed loudly. "Yeah, fine. I'll stick with small game until bear season." The two men continued to talk softly but their words were imperceptible to me now as they moved down the path and out of my range of vision. I waited a few more seconds before I turned around to face Emmett.

"That's cheery news. A mad killer bear is on the loose. Good thing it's so far – Emmett?"

Emmett's near black eyes were gleaming, and a wide, nearly feral grin split his face. _"Awesome!"_

**xXx**

"Absolutely not." Edward's voice rang through the dining room where the family was assembled. "It's Bella's birthday and I'm not leaving her alone to go chasing some – "

"It's also your last day here." Emmett deliberately emphasized his words, cutting Edward off. "The last chance we get to have to be together, all of us, for who knows how long. Come on, Edward. This bear is a killer." He lowered his tone and his voice became mock solemn. "Put aside your own needs for once and do it for the _people_."

"Oh, shut up." Edward snapped.

"Boys…" Esme cautioned from her perch against the wall. Next to her, Carlisle stood with his arm casually slung around her shoulder. He remained silent, though he frowned slightly in Emmet's direction.

Emmett shrugged, his usual grin back on his face. "OK, so do it for me. Oh, come on, you guys! We all need to hunt anyway. We might as well do it together. Look, we can be there in under an hour. With all of us tracking it, it won't take us long to find it. We kill, we feed, score some good karma while we're at it, and we're back home just in time to cut birthday cake and watch Bella blow out the candles."

Standing next to me, Bella shuddered the way she always did whenever her name and birthday was mentioned in the same sentence. "Edward, please, go ahead. Emmett's right; it's your last chance to be with everyone all together. Elisa and I will be fine."

Edward shook his head. "I am not leaving you alone on your birthday, and Alice won't want to either."

Rosalie, who'd been sitting at the table studying her nails and ignoring the argument, looked up. "Where has Alice been all day, anyway?"

I looked around as well, noticing that once again Alice was missing, though Jasper stood next to Carlisle, silent as usual. At the mention of Alice's name, he looked up. "She's at the carriage house, packing for Bella and Edward." His voice was flat.

"I'll get her!" I bounced forward. Hopefully by the time I got back I would have missed the whole Bella/Edward separation angst bit.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper open his mouth, but the objection was never voiced. Instead he closed his mouth quickly and stayed silent, though by his expression the restraint was causing him near physical pain.

I heard the arguing start up again as I headed out the front door, Edward and Emmett doing most of the talking while the rest of the family stood around with long-suffering expressions.

I was at the carriage house in a matter of minutes. After a moment's hesitation, I entered without knocking. "Alice?"

The scene that met my eyes was unbelievable, like something out of a Harry Potter movie. Clothing was flying through the air, some still in stacks, some in garment bags, some on hangers, seemingly suspended of their own volition. Each item seemed to have a mind of its own…some fell into packing boxes on one side of the room, others dropped perfectly folded into the one of the giant, open suitcases on the floor, and yet more ended up discarded in the ever growing pile next to the far wall.

It took several more seconds of gaping for me to realize that no one had waved a magic wand…the driving force behind all of this activity was Alice, who was rushing from place to place so fast that she was just a blur to my human eyes.

"Eight pairs of sweatpants? Honestly, Bella, what were you thinking?" I heard her mutter. Another pile of clothing came whizzing past my head so fast I had to duck. They flew past me to lie rejected on top of the now teetering pile.

"Elisa!" Alice came to an abrupt stop in front of me, several pairs of jeans in her hands and a slightly frantic expression in her eyes. "I'm sorry – I didn't realize you were here."

I shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I avoided decapitation by flying garment, so it's all good."

Alice smiled, but she still looked distracted. "I decided to leave Bella out of the packing process. She keeps trying to sneak in more flannel." She looked around at the chaos on the floor. "I want it all to be just right."

I frowned, a little perplexed by her anxious tone. "It will be, I'm sure. Um, you're needed back at the house, though. Emmett wants to go bear hunting."

"Bear hunting? Now?" Alice 's perfect features tightened and her voice was a mix of surprise and irritation. Then her face went blank for a fraction of a second. "Oh. Well, that figures. "They'll just have to go without me. There's so much left to do." With that, she whirled around and clothes began to fly once more.

"Um… Alice ?" I tried again, starting to wish I'd let Jasper come instead of me after all. I didn't know how to talk to this strange, stressed Alice. "It's just that they really wanted you to go. I guess Emmett though it would be nice if the whole family went together, since Bella and Edward are leaving tomorrow."

"Tomorrow! That's exactly my point!" Alice burst out, loudly enough to make me jump. She kept moving as she spoke, even faster now. My eyes couldn't keep up with her rapid movements – I had to keep circling the whole room trying to get a fix on where she'd stop next. "There's so much left to do." She stared around her with agitated eyes.

I didn't speak again and she didn't press me. In fact, I had a sneaking suspicion she'd already forgotten I was there. I watched her quietly for a moment, realizing again how very human she looked these days. The circles under her now ebony eyes were darker, and tiny stress lines seemed permanently imbued in her forehead. She mumbled under her breath as she zoomed around, obsessively checking and re-checking the stacks of clothes, repeatedly upending the suitcase and re-starting the packing process all over again.

"Alice?" I blurted once more.

Alice finally stopped moving, which was a blessed relief because she'd been giving me motion sickness, and looked at me questioningly. The tiny bit of self-restraint I had was pleading with me to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business, but fifteen years of no common sense whatsoever made speaking without thinking automatic.

"A few weeks ago Carlisle told me that I should stop trying to take care of everyone else and let myself be taken care of for a while." I played with my bracelet as I spoke.

"That's good advice, Elisa." Alice said, her voice still disinterested. She looked back at the trunk at her feet.

"Um, yeah, I guess it is. It's just…I kinda think maybe he gave it to the wrong person." I bit my lip but the words were already out.

Alice's head shot up and her obsidian eyes locked on to me. The look on her face was inscrutable.

"Sorry," I mumbled, backing away. "I just meant – I'll go now."

Just as I was about to make an awkward exit, she spoke again. "I have to admit, Elisa, I never see you coming."

I turned back, confused by her words. There was a small half smile on her face, but she didn't clarify her words and I was too nervous to ask. After a few seconds she dropped the load of clothes she was holding onto the sofa abruptly. "It doesn't take a lot of foresight to know there will be weeks of sulking if Emmett doesn't get his family hunt. Will you tell the others I'll be there in five minutes?"

There was no anger in her voice but it was clearly a dismissal. I'd upset her with my unsolicited advice. Mentally I cursed myself as I hurried out of the door. _Think first,__** then**__ speak, Elisa. Other people do it, why can't you? _

I was seriously contemplating a vow of silence when I walked face first into a brick wall. Gasping, I jumped back. The wall moved and I realized it was Jasper, who had come out of no where to step directly into my path.

"Gah! Could you please stop doing that? I swear, you're reaching near Edwardian levels of stalkery!" I rubbed my aching chin and nose, wondering if I was going to bruise.

Jasper chuckled, much to my surprise.. "Horrors. We can't have that." Almost immediately his smile faded, and he looked towards the carriage house and back at me with a clear question in his eyes.

I lowered my voice to a whisper, hoping Alice was too busy being obsessive compulsive to overhear us from this distance. "She's not doing well, Jasper. She can't even fake it anymore."

Jasper didn't reply, but his face seemed to darken. Instinctively, I took a step back. His eyes narrowed as I did so. Without another word, he turned and began to walk down the path.

"Jasper!" I called after him before I could stop myself. He turned, his face as unreadable as Alice's had been.

"Is she going to be alright?"

Jasper paused for a moment. When he spoke his voice was flat again. "Just go back to the house, Elisa." The look on his face didn't invite arguments. Without another word, I turned on my heel and ran.

**xXx**

It was apparent as soon I stepped back inside the main house that Edward had lost the 'to hunt or not to hunt' debate. Everyone was standing, looking expectant, in the foyer. He was in the back of the group, arms around Bella, with the martyred expression of a Christian about to be fed to a lion.

Esme looked at me curiously. "Isn't Alice coming?"

I bit my lip, wondering what to tell her but Edward spoke for me. "She and Jasper will be right over."

Esme's own face darkened unexpectedly into a frown at that. The look she cast at Edward was odd on her normally placid face. It bordered on suspicious, and I wondered then if perhaps Jasper and I weren't the only ones worrying about Alice.

Any further conversation was suspended when Emmett followed Esme into the foyer. "Well, they'd better hurry up. Time's a-wasting." His foot tapped impatiently on the floor and he walked restlessly back and forth. Emmett paced the room twice more, then jerked open the front door.

"ALICE! JASPER! IF SOME REDNECK HUNTER GUNS DOWN THAT BEAR WHILE WE'RE WAITING ON YOU I'M GONNA – "

"Going to _what_?" Abruptly Emmett was shoved back, and Alice stepped over the doorway, Jasper directly behind her.

"It's about time!" Emmett either hadn't noticed Alice's expression, or he was in the mood to play with fire. She glowered at Emmett as he towered over her.

There was a communal sigh – whether of relief or exasperation I wasn't sure.

"Are we ready?" Carlisle's voice was exaggeratedly patient. There was a general murmur of assent and a wave of movement towards the door. Only Edward and Alice remained standing with me and Bella.

"Let's go already!" Emmett was clearly out of patience. He turned and glared at his recalcitrant siblings.

Alice remained where she was. "I don't think I should go."

Edward looked instantly relieved. "If Alice isn't going then I'm not – "

"Oh, come on!" Emmett fixed the two of them with the biggest puppy dog eyes I'd ever seen. "What part of _last family hunt_ did you two not understand?"

Rosalie disattached herself from the group and walked back to Alice. "Look, let's just go. The sooner we find this stupid bear, the faster we can come home."

Alice surveyed the expectant expressions around her and her face took on a mutinous glower. "NO."

A clamor of voices broke out at once, Emmett loudly protesting that Alice was wrecking their family bonding time, Edward arguing again that it was Bella's birthday and the family should be bonding at home, Esme and Carlisle's voices trying to make peace.

"Alice, come on. Why don't you want to go?" Emmett had abandoned begging and puppy dog eyes now and was settling for straight out pleading.

Alice blinked slowly and I was startled to see the confusion on her face. "I don't know. I just…don't think I should."

"Have you seen something?" Edward's voice was nearing alarm now. He and Alice locked eyes. Immediately their faces went blank in tandem, but cleared almost immediately. Edward looked relieved, but the confusion was still marring Alice's features.

"Everything's OK?" Emmett demanded. "Come on, then!"

Amid the commotion, Jasper made his way back to Alice's side. His words were quiet, but not so quiet that I couldn't hear them. "Alice, you're making this harder on yourself than you have to. You need to hunt."

Alice locked eyes with him for a long moment. Whatever else passed between them was unspoken, but it was enough to make her drop her defensive stance.

"Fine." Without another word, Alice turned and stalked out the front door with Jasper at her side, leaving the others trailing in her wake.

Edward was the last to go, turning to Bella again. "If you want me to stay – "

"Yes, yes. Parting is such sweet sorrow, you'll count the minutes, blah blah blah. Just go already!" I put my hands on my hips. "Goodbye, Edward," I added pointedly. "Bella and I will be fine. Maybe we'll even go out."

Edward frowned even more deeply. "I'd prefer that you didn't."

I sighed in exasperation. "Whatever. Don't get your panties in a bunch. We'll stay home and twiddle our thumbs."

Looking relieved, Edward kissed Bella goodbye and patted my head as he passed. I suppressed the urge to kick him only by remembering I'd break my foot doing so.

The door shut behind Edward, and simultaneously Bella let out a heartfelt sigh, as if the sun had abruptly fallen from the sky. I would have rolled my eyes but I'd been doing it so much lately that I was starting to fear they might get stuck that way.

"So, Elisa…" Bella turned to me, plastering on a smile. "What would you like to do?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It's your birthday. You get to decide."

Bella looked lost for a moment. "Well, if you want to get your homework, I can help you finish it."

I gave her a disbelieving look. "Homework? Seriously? Geez, Bella, stop bringing the fun. I might explode from excitement."

Bella laughed sheepishly, turning and walking into the living room. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm not that fun to hang out with, but you don't want to leave it all until the last minute, do you?"

"Of course I do." I flopped onto the couch and reached for the television remote. " I'm expected to be irresponsible. It's called being a teenager." I gave her a pointed look. "You might want to try it sometime."

Bella gave me a vague smile, her eyes far away. I waited for more but she just gazed out of the window, moping over Edward and their agonizing hours long separation, I was sure.

I jumped up from the couch. "Let's go into town."

Bella turned away from the window, her eyes startled. "We told Edward we wouldn't."

"And?" I shrugged. "Besides, how's he going to know? He can't read your mind, after all."

"Yes, but he can read yours," Bella said pointedly.

I grinned. "Yes, well, as soon as he gets in the door I'm going to put in my copy of _Prince Caspian_ and fantasize about Ben Barnes for the rest of the night. Believe me when I say Edward is not going to want anywhere _near_ my thoughts."

Bella pursed her lips. "Sorry, Elisa."

I groaned loudly, and sat back down abruptly. Bella seemed to sense a tantrum brewing and hurried to head it off. "Tonight we'll do something, I promise. We can all go out together."

I was fully aware that I was being patronized but allowed myself to be mollified anyway. Truth be told, I wasn't really up to covert hi-jinks anyway. What I really wanted was something to distract me from the constant worrying that had overtaken my life lately. Everything was just so bizarre lately – I was desperate for a moment of normalcy.

"So, no homework then?" Bella asked once more.

I didn't even bother to dignify that asinine suggestion with an answer. Bella didn't offer any other ideas, so we just stood there for a moment, staring blankly, before I brightened. "I know what we can do! But first, I have to start mixing your birthday cake."

"Wait…what'?" Bella followed me as I turned and dashed into the kitchen to begin attacking cupboards and pulling out mixing bowls. "What birthday cake?"

"The one I'm making for you, silly. I'm baking it from scratch. No boxed cake mix allowed. It's going to have layers and filling and everything." I beamed proudly. "Esme took me shopping yesterday and I bought all the ingredients. I'm even going to decorate it."

Bella's nose wrinkled slightly. "Elisa, um, I know you've been all about the homemade cuisine lately but isn't that a little ambitious?" She watched me pull out ingredients from the refrigerator and began stacking them on the counter. "Especially if you've never done it before?"

"Oh, ye of little faith." I made a face at her. "All I have to do is follow the recipe. How hard can it be? Hey, can you get the mixer down for me?" I gestured at the cupboard over her head.

Although she still looked doubtful, Bella helped me compile the rest of the ingredients. I refused to let her help me beyond that, so she sat back and watched me work. Soon the kitchen smelled of vanilla and I had two round pans of cake batter to put in the oven. Even she had to admit it smelled pretty good.

After we set the timer, I dragged Bella upstairs. Judging by her wary expression, she had a pretty good idea of what was coming next, and her suspicions were confirmed when I pulled her into the largest bathroom on the second floor, the one that was better stocked than a beauty supply store thanks to Rosalie and Alice.

"Oh no." Bella groaned. "Not makeover time. Do you know how many times Alice has done this to me already?"

"Stop talking," I informed her, opening a drawer and eyeing the dozens of brand new make up cartridges. "I'm bored and this is what you get for refusing to entertain me." I cocked my head to the side as I studied her. "Are you sure that's the hair you want to be stuck with for eternity? I think we have some dye – "

"Elisa!" Bella clutched her hair protectively and gave me a deeply offended look.

I sighed. "I was kidding. A little trim would do you some good though…"

I reached for the scissors hopefully only to be met by a fierce glare. "_**No**_."

"Boy, for someone who doesn't care about how she looks, you sure are touchy about your hair." I frowned at her as I sat down the scissors resignedly. "Let me guess…Edward likes it long so he can run his fingers through it or something sickeningly sweet like that."

I'd only been teasing but Bella blushed scarlet, making me giggle, then shudder. "Ew. Don't tell me stuff like that. It makes me imagine things. Disgusting things."

"I didn't tell you any – " Bella started to object, even redder now, but the tenor of her voice changed as soon as I turned and she saw the eyeliner pencil in my hand. We had a quick stare down until I blinked and allowed my chin to wobble and her face softened into resignation.. "You are a special brand of evil, Elisa. Fine, go ahead." She stared at me like I was a torturer about to put her on the rack.

Fifteen minutes later of cosmetic overhaul later, Bella was clearly running out of patience. "Can I look now?" She demanded, fidgeting.

"I'm not finished yet!" I protested, squeezing a final lock of hair in the straightening iron I was holding.

"How can you not be finished? You put enough gunk on my face to paint a house with." Bella pulled away from me and straightened up. Before I could stop her, she whirled around to face the mirror.

"Oh. My. God."

"What?" I tried to look innocent as Bella's eyebrows nearly shot off her forehead.

"I look like Marilyn Manson!" Bella touched her pale, powdered face and grimaced, then reached down to pick up the tube of blood red lipstick I'd left on the counter. She looked at the label and scoffed. "_Vamp_?"

I shuffled nervously. "I see you've caught on to my theme, then."

Bella continued to stare at me, blinking eyes that were heavily ringed with black eyeliner. Her hair hung straight to her shoulders and her powdered down skin gleamed, making her crimson lips look even more striking. "What exactly did I do to deserve the Morticia treatment?"

I hopped on the counter next to her and fingered her dark hair. "I wasn't trying to make you look _bad_. I was just trying to…well…imagine you as a vampire. I mean, I'm not going to get to see you afterwards, at least not for a long time. I wanted something I could picture in my head."

Bella shook her head. "I suggest trying to imagine me as immortal, not imagine me going to a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show." With that, she grabbed a pack of cleansing wipes and began to scrub at her face before I could stop her.

"Bella! I wanted to take a picture!" I protested as the au naturel Bella I was used to made a quick re-emergence.

Bella gave me another narrow eyed look as she continued washing the make up off. "Like I want any photographic evidence of this."

"I didn't even get to the body giitter yet," I grumbled, more to myself than Bella.

Bella threw away the used cloths and turned back to the mirror, touching her head. "I need to wash out all this product." She murmured, more to herself, then caught sight of my downcast expression. "You're acting like I'm going to disappear off the face of the earth. Believe it or not, modern technology exists even in the remote parts of Alaska. We can take pictures. We might even be able to set up a webcam to chat with you. You'll see me, one way or another. I promise." She patted my head, a gesture I normally found extremely condescending, but it was clear she was trying her hardest to make me feel better.

And it was working. I couldn't help but feel slightly cheered – I hadn't really thought of that before. Bella and Edward weren't hopping a shuttle to Mars; they were just going north. Maybe I wouldn't be able to visit, on account of being a snack sized human and all, but I'd be able to keep in touch. Maybe what I'd been really worried about was that they would forget about me; that they wouldn't want to keep in contact, but looking at Bella's sincere expression made me realize that I may have been a touch overdramatic.

Bella smiled in response to my expression. "You really thought we were abandoning you, didn't you?" She ruffled my hair. "You're not getting rid of us that easily."

"Thanks." It wasn't the most eloquent of responses, but it seemed to be enough. I jumped off the counter. "Sorry I made you sit through the makeover fail."

"It wasn't so bad - " Bella began, then shook her head. "Alright, I hated it. I'm just not the girly type, but you don't need me for that anyway. Alice must love playing dress up with you."

My smile faded and I looked down. "Um…not really."

Bella was checking for signs of stray gothface and didn't seem to notice my tone. "Sure she does."

"No." I shook my head. "She doesn't.. Alice and I don't really do anything together. Not anymore."

Bella looked over at me. "What are you talking about? You used to hang out with her all the time. You guys planned the wedding together, you ganged up on me and took my clothes… Speaking of which, I'd like them back if you don't mind. I know they must be hidden around here somewhere."

"Oh," I bit my lip and tried to look innocent. I really didn't want to be the one to tell her that Alice and I hadn't exactly hidden her clothes. Instead, we'd gleefully burned her Lumberjack Teen ensembles in a giant bonfire and dedicated their sacrifice to the fashion gods. The memory made me smile for a moment, and then I felt even worse about the Alice situation then I had before. What had happened? What had I done to make her dislike me so much since then?

"Everything's different now." I spoke out loud. "_Alice_ is different. You haven't noticed?"

Bella looked confused. "No…she's seemed normal to me, but I guess…" Her words trailed off and she looked suddenly stricken.

I sighed. "I think that maybe it's me."

"_You_?" Bella looked confounded. "What are you talking about?"

I hesitated, twisting a strand of hair around my finger until it broke off, wondering how to answer her. I was suddenly gripped with a near overwhelming to desire to spill my guts, Jasper and any other consequences be damned. To tell her everything, about how Alice couldn't stand to be near me, Jasper hated me, about every single bizarre thing that had happened since we'd come to St. John's whether it was proof I was losing my mind or not.. Just imagining unburdening myself brought with it such a sensation of relief that the words were spilling from my lips before I had time to even think it through.

"Bella, I have something to tell – "

From the distance there was a far away buzzing and we both jumped a little at the same time.

"The cake!" I flew out of the bathroom and down the stairs into the kitchen, Bella right on my heels. A few frantic seconds passed while I desperately opened drawers looking for an oven mitt until Bella sighed and pulled it off the wall hook next to the stove and handed it to me.

I pulled open the oven door and scooped out each round pan carefully and placed it on the counter. Then I peeled off the oven mitt and noticed Bella's expression as I did so. She was bent over the pans and her nose was wrinkled critically.

"What?" I was ready to defend my culinary masterpiece until I got a clear look at what were supposed to be my cake layers. The edges of what was supposed to be golden fluffy goodness by this point were dark and charred, while in the middle the batter remained so uncooked that it was actually bubbling.

I groaned loudly. "No! What happened? I swear I did everything just like the cookbook said! It can't possibly be me. The oven must be broken."

"It worked fine yesterday," Bella mused and grinned at the look I threw her way. "OK, whatever you say. It's all the oven's fault." The sincerity of her words were offset by the smirk playing around the corners of her mouth.

"Now what I am supposed to do? I don't have enough to make another batch." I sighed heavily, feeling the beginning of an epic Pout-A-Thon coming on.

Bella patted my shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Elisa. I didn't need a cake. We're the only two that would eat it anyway."

I glowered at her. "You don't need a cake? Are you kidding me? We didn't have a party, you don't even want presents which is totally insane, and now there won't be a cake? Bella, this is your LAST mortal birthday and you are going to HAVE A CAKE!"

Bella raised an eyebrow as I ranted. "Are you having a tantrum, Elisa?"

"YES!" I was pacing the kitchen floor now. "Can we call Edward or something and ask him to pick up one on the way home? It won't be the same but I can still decorate it…" I stopped when I saw Bella was shaking her head.

"They'll be out of cell phone range by now." There was just a hint of smugness in her tone and I was tempted to throw some half cooked batter at her. It was so irritating to see how gleeful she was about how every attempt to celebrate her birthday had gone completely wrong. Dammit, I was going to get a birthday cake and make her eat it if it was the last thing I ever did.

"Hmmm…" I murmured out loud as I thought. "I wonder…" I began to pace the room. "Can Alice, like, get messages?" I closed my eyes without waiting for an answer and began concentrating as hard as I could. "Ommmmm. Alice…" I intoned. "We need birthday cake. OMMMMMM."

"What are you doing?" Bella's voice broke into my concentration and I opened my eyes.

"Be quiet. You're interrupting my mind meld!" I squeezed my eyes shut again, trying to ignore Bella's chuckles.

"I don't think it works like that, Elisa," Bella was saying now. "And besides, if it's really that important to you we can always leave them a message the normal way…you know, on their phone?" Funny how she'd neglected to mention that before, but I was too involved in my new endeavor to care.

"No, no, this is totally going to work. I can feel it." I waved Bella off and concentrated once more, picturing Alice in my mind as strongly as I could. "Alice…we need…"

Abruptly the red-black darkness behind my closed eyelids disappeared. For a moment there was nothing, just blankness and a jolting sense of loss. That split second was horrifying – as if my sight had been taken from me for good, but then the images rushed in, filling my head, sight that wasn't my own, that I couldn't control. It was just flashes, so abrupt I couldn't see make out more than a detail or two before one flickered off and was replaced with another. A forest…figures moving…a flash of eyes, golden, then red…and then it stopped, as if a spinning carousel had abruptly stopped moving, leaving one last lingering vision in my head. I saw hands. MY hands. Covered, dripping in red, just as I'd seen them before in my dreams months ago.

"Elisa? Elisa!" The shout had my eyes snapping back open. Everything came back to blinding life, the kitchen, Bella's worried voice, the feel of her hands on my arms pulling me upright. I realized belatedly that I must have stumbled or fallen into the counter. The cake pans had fallen to the floor, making a sticky mess of uncooked batter and burnt crumbs on Esme's squeaky clean floor.

"Elisa, what's wrong? What happened?" Bella was shaking me lightly now, and I could hear my own desperate gasps for air and feel the tremors that were still shaking my body. My hands stung and I realized I'd been rubbing them frantically against the denim of my jeans as if to wipe off the non-existent blood.

Bella's eyes were wide, alarmed, as she stared at me. The look on her face gave me the bit of calm that I needed to find my voice and my words and put them together in a coherent sentence. "I - I don't know," I finally managed. "I think maybe I fainted."

I tried to take a step forward but balance had not returned as quickly as my voice had and I stumbled, and nearly fell into Bella. She righted me once more. "Sit down."

I clutched Bella's arm as she tried to lead me to a kitchen stool, certain that if she let go I would not be able to stay on my feet. "No," I gasped, my lungs constricting more with each strangled breath I took. "I need air."

Bella nodded. "Come on." With her supporting me we managed to make our way to the sliding glass door in the room behind and stepped outside. The breeze that greeted us was chilling, but refreshing. I gulped the air greedily, still clinging to her until the shakiness slowly subsided and I was able to breathe normally again.

"Are you alright now?"

I nodded. My head was pounding now, but the rest of me felt okay. As long as I didn't think about what I'd seen, that was, because as soon as my thoughts strayed in that direction my heart tried to pound itself out of my chest all over again.

"You must have been concentrating so hard on your 'mind meld' you stopped breathing for a few seconds." Bella's voice was amused again.

I managed a small smile. "Yeah…I guess."

The breeze picked up, scattering the first of the fall leaves around our feet and we both shivered. Without the chill wind, the day would have almost been warm. The sky was cloudy but bright, and the occasional ray of sunlight broke through to illuminate the lawn.

"Do you want to go back outside?" Bella asked now, looking down at me as I rubbed my arms.

I shuddered at the thought, a wave of claustrophobia enveloping me. I felt restless now, nervous, like a circus cat pacing in their cage, the smell of unattainable freedom in the air.

"No," I shook my head. "I want to stay out here for a little while. Oh! As long as we're out here, I want to show you something."

With that, I led Bella across the lawn. At the entrance to Esme's gardens, two tiny trees had been planted on either side of the path. I walked ahead of Bella and gestured grandly. "Ta da! I mean, I know it's not the most impressive present ever, but we planted these for you and Edward, like a way to mark this year. Imagine how big they could be by the time you come back." My voice wavered at that slightly.

Bella smiled. "They're perfect." Her fingers lightly touched the branches of the one she was standing next to. "These little trees look so fragile when they're young. You'd never guess how much they can withstand; how long they'll be here. How many lives they'll see come and go."

"Kinda like you." I half smiled as I turned and wandered away, towards the center of the garden plots. Directly in the middle stood an old, cracked stone fountain, its shallow pool empty. According to Esme, it had been part of the property for years, since the time the house was built. It no longer worked, but she was determined to repair and restore it, even though she'd been told repeatedly it would be easier just to replace it.

I sat down on the edge, looking at the leaves that were stuck soggily to the bottom of the pool. Bella followed suit, sitting beside me. She was quiet, her head still turned towards the trees that were barely more than seedlings.

"Bella?" My voice was tentative and she turned back towards me. "Are you – " I searched for a way to phrase my question. "I mean…what's it like? To know you're going to be immortal?"

Bella laughed at first, but her face quickly grew solemn. "It's…" Her fingers twisted her shirt absently. "It's exciting. At least it was exciting. Right now I think I'm more terrified than anything. I begged for this for so long and now…I don't know. I didn't want to be afraid." The last few words were a quiet whisper I barely caught.

"You _don't know_?" My voice was louder than I'd intended and Bella blanched.

"I didn't mean I don't know if this is what I want still. It is. I just – maybe I didn't think about everything I was going to lose. I didn't want to. I thought if I just focused on Edward and what I was gaining it wouldn't hurt so much. Now I can't stop thinking about everyone I'm leaving behind, everything I'm going to face and I don't know if…I don't know if I deserve this." I stared at her. "_If_ you deserve it? I don't understand. What do you mean?"

Bella stood up, moving restlessly around the fountain. "Elisa, I'm going to live forever. I'm going to be powerful, and I'm going to be a predator, and I don't even know if I can handle it. What if I don't turn out the way everyone expects? What if Edward gets tired of me? What am I supposed to do with my forever then? What if I'm just not strong enough? I don't understand why this is happening to me; why I've been given this chance. It feels like too much, like fate made a huge mistake when it put me in Edward's path. It should have been someone else. Someone better. I'm not even a good person."

She came to sit down next to me again, her entire posture defeated. Her questions had tumbled over one another rapidly, reminding me of how I'd felt earlier when I had wanted to spill everything to her. It was as if she'd been waiting for the right opportunity to vent it all, and I was just the one who happened to be here when she did.

I gaped at her. "Not a good person? _You_? What are you talking about? You're like, practically perfect!"

Bella gave me a long suffering look, as if realizing she was talking to someone who couldn't possibly understand. "Elisa, you idealize me. I don't know why, but you do. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I mess everything up. I hurt people. Like my parents…like Jacob. Even Alice. It's like you said upstairs earlier. Something's wrong with her and I didn't even notice because I'm so wrapped up in my own life. The worst thing is, I _know_ I'm doing these things. I know I'm going to do it before it actually happens. I _plan_ to hurt people. All because I want Edward; I want this life, and I'll do whatever it takes to get it."

"Well, that's just…" I sputtered, trying to think of the right words. "You're being totally ridiculous. You're not trying to hurt anyone. All this is what you're _supposed _to do. It's how your story goes. You're like the princess in the fairy tale. You meet the prince, upstage the evil stepsisters, go to the ball, fall in love, get rescued a few times, then get married, become immortal, and live happily ever after. See?"

Bella looked at me, shaking her head. "As simple as that, Elisa?"

I nodded firmly. "Yes. As simple as that. Bella, to me, this _is_ the fairytale. Maybe it's not exactly how I imagined. Maybe it's a lot harder and scarier than I ever could have guessed, but it's still magic. And you're the one who gets to live out the dream. How many people can say that? You could kiss a frog and you'd still get…well, Edward. The rest of us kiss frogs and just get warts. You've got the closest life to a perfect that I'll ever see, and you _have_ to live your happily ever after and not feel bad about it. Do it for the rest of us."

Bella smiled for a moment before it faded away and her face became melancholy once more. "And what about the people I'm putting in danger? What about the person I kill when I lose control? Where is their happily ever after? How do I justify that? What gives me the right to make this choice, not only for me, but for them?"

I flinched. "I don't know," I finally whispered.

The silence stretched out painfully. Bella's eyes shone with tears, while inwardly my mind churned with new, unpleasant concepts that I'd never considered before. Why did everything have to be so hard? Why couldn't there be just one right answer and one wrong one, and not all these murky pathways in between?

"But there's no other way for you, is there? I mean, maybe you're right. But what about _your_ life? It's not exactly fair either that the Volturi will kill you if you don't change before you ever had a chance to really live. So maybe there really isn't any right or wrong. Maybe there's just…choices. And doing the best you can with what you've been given."

Bella sucked in a deep breath and nodded slowly. Her eyes were still too shiny.

I reached over and touched her hand. "Bella, maybe you're not perfect but you're a better person than you give yourself credit for. That's why you're going away, because you don't want to hurt anyone, remember? Edward will make sure you don't, until you're strong enough to control yourself. It's all going to be OK. It's all going to work out just like it's supposed to before I came here and screwed everything up."

Bella blinked, looking startled. "Screwed everything up? What are you talking about?"

I sighed now, kicking my sneakers against the cracked concrete surrounding the fountain. "I changed so much for you guys. Don't you ever wonder what it would have been like if I'd never come back? Maybe everything would have better for you."

Bella looked bewildered. "Better how?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you would have found a way to tell Charlie everything. Maybe you could have stayed in Forks and you and Jacob would have made up and kept being friends. Maybe you wouldn't have had to lose anything at all."

Bella scoffed, giving me a disbelieving look. "Right. It's definitely all your fault that everything didn't turn out completely perfect like that. Oh, and maybe I would have even gotten knocked up with a half-vampire daughter that Jacob could imprint on so he could have his own happily ever after!"

I started to giggle. "Yeah, he could move in with you and you'd be his _mother in law!_"

The tears welling in Bella's eyes were ones of mirth now. "And Edward could call him _SON_!"

I couldn't help but imagine the look on Jacob's face if that were to ever happen and I nearly fell off my perch. "Don't forget the part where the Volturi shows up to massacre you all, only to be cleverly outwitted by your brilliant _conversation_."

Bella was holding her stomach as we leaned against each other laughing hysterically at the absurdity of it all. After a few moments Bella straightened up, wiping her eyes. "Elisa, honestly, I don't see how it could get much better than this. I'm sorry for the things I have to give up, but I'll never lose sight of what I'm gaining in return." Her eyes looked clearer now, her face resolute.

We allowed quiet to descend once more as we both sat there, lost in contemplation. Eventually I noticed the lengthening shadows around us. The air had gotten considerably colder; the sky darker. I turned my face upwards. "It's going to rain."

Bella nodded. "We should go inside."

Neither of us moved for a couple more minutes until Bella nudged my shoulder. "We've done enough daydreaming for one day, Elisa."

I laughed as I got to my feet. "I'd forgotten I'm not the only one who dreams."

Bella started to chuckle too but abruptly stopped, staring at me. "What did you just say?"

I barely registered what she was asking. I was still transfixed by the sky. It was in constant motion now, the clouds moving rapidly, blocking the last rays of sunlight that had struggled through. The wind blew harder and I felt the first drops of rain strike my face.

Bella followed my gaze upwards. "I'm getting the weirdest sense of déjà vu. As if we've had this conversation before."

I stilled. Goosebumps were breaking out on my skin, and it wasn't because of the cold. Bella was right. This felt really odd, like replaying a scene I'd just watched in a movie. My earlier apprehension was coming back to me in droves.

"Bella," I choked out, my voice cracking. "Someone's coming." I didn't think the words before I spoke them, and they surprised me as much as they did her. But as soon I said it, I knew it was true.

Bella gazed at me, her eyes wide. To my great relief, she didn't waste time asking the questions I couldn't answer. My sudden, inexplicable panic seemed to jump from me to her like a forest fire spreading from tree to tree. She jerked her head towards the garage where her Mustang was parked. "We're getting out of here."

The sense of danger now was almost palpable, a physical presence that hung over us. Like two rabbits sensing a nearby fox, we turned and sprinted for the garage.

It was too late. I think we both knew it even before the air stirred around us, even before the figures emerged from the shadows, blocking our path and driving us back towards the garden.

Three pairs of eyes surveyed us and I saw again the red and gold remnants from my vision earlier. It had been a warning; the last in a long line of them, warnings that I'd been too stupid to heed. I understood it now as we were surrounded.

Three sets of immortal eyes stared at us. The first two pairs were a familiar, if not reassuring, shade of gold.

The third pair gleamed a deep, burgundy red.

**To Be Continued....**

Sneak Peek from Chapter 16:

_"Fascinating." The dark haired vampire was suddenly in front of me. I took an automatic step away but his hand reached out and grabbed me at the same time, pulling me back to him. He kept a firm but not painful grip on my hair as he studied me, forcing me to hold still as he spoke to his companions. "The stories are true. I can't see this one at all. It's quite remarkable." _

_Abruptly he released me. I hadn't been expecting it and I stumbled, nearly falling. I righted myself just in time to see the blur of motion and then he was in front of Elisa. I went cold as I saw him reach out a long white finger to stroke her cheek, his eyes bright with interest. "**You**, however, are clear as glass to me." I heard his low murmur as he leaned forward to speak in her ear. _


	16. Lessons

**So it's been almost forever again, (but not as long as the last chapter took; let's hope this is the start of a good trend.) I want to apologize again but the fact is, I have a family and when I was churning out chapter after chapter, it was because I was neglecting other important things in my life. That's just not an option anymore, so as much as I love it, I have to put other things before writing. I hope all of you can understand and I so much appreciate all of you who have stuck with me.**

**So, there was a lot of foreshadowing leading up this chapter but because it's been so long, I'm going to provide a little reading guide in case anyone wants to brush up. Before reading this chapter I recommend re-reading Bella's POV in Dreaming (chapter six) and also Halfway to Normal (chapter 13).**

**This chapter is shorter than the others, because it's one scene, but it is a vital one. Also, had no time for beta so hopefully I have caught all major errors. Thanks as always to Navi and siDEADde for being great sounding boards, as well as smellyia and angstgoddess003 for the timed writes. Would be lost without y'all  
**

**Chapter 16:**

**Lessons**

**Bella:**

The notion of escape had come far too late for either one of us. The three immortals appeared, surrounding us on all sides. As they walked forward, I grabbed Elisa, pulling her close to me. We walked awkwardly, herded backwards by the graceful strides of the ones before us.

Our clumsy exit strategy was upended abruptly by the brick garden walls at our backs. There was no where else to go. Now I could only try to suppress my terror, present a calm front for Elisa's sake.

The three vampires that surrounded us studied us in silence for a long moment. I stared back, memorizing details, looking for some sign or clue about what they wanted. There were two men, one woman, reminding me sickeningly of James and his murderous coven. One of the men was slight, with topaz eyes, a tangled shock of black hair in jarring contrast to his white skin. His face was angular, odd looking, like pieces of different puzzles had been put together to make something that didn't fit together, yet were somehow still striking.

The second man was huge. His muscled arms bulged through the thin black T shirt he wore and his legs were so thick I was amazed he'd found jeans to fit into. His stature would have been almost comfortingly reminiscent of Emmett, if it hadn't been for the blazing burgundy eyes. Not the ruby red of a newborn, but the crimson of a vampire that had drank human blood, and recently so. The way he stared at us wasn't comforting either. While the other two stood calm, complacent, I sensed his impatience was barely held in check. His hands flexed constantly, fingers twitching, as if looking for something to grasp.

"Which one is she?" The enormously muscled man spoke as I looked at him. His voice was scornful.

The woman stepped forward, her long black hair ruffling in the breeze, and as soon as I looked at her, I couldn't look away. Her golden eyes didn't even turn towards Elisa; no, her stare was for me alone. There was no question in her assessment.

"Bella." Her voice was casual, but there was the tiniest quaver of excitement behind it, the tone of one who was opening a birthday present she'd anticipated for months. "I've been waiting a long time to meet you."

I swallowed hard. My mouth was so dry my tongue threatened to stick to the roof of it and not allow me to speak but I managed to croak out a sentence. "Who are you?"

A small, cold smile shaped her lips. "I am Irina. We have some friends in common."

I gasped lightly. Irina? Of the Denali Coven? Had we overreacted, misunderstood? Were these friends after all?

As soon as the relief washed over me it was snatched away as more snippets of conversation and vivid memories came floating back to me. Another name came unbidden to my lips.

"Laurent," I whispered.

For a moment the smile left Irina's face and her features twisted into a dramatically different expression, nearly feral. It was gone before I could process it, and her tone was neutral again. "Laurent, I'm afraid, is not who I was referring to. He's ashes in the wind, if you recall, thanks to your four-legged friends."

She wasn't as calm as she pretended. I could see that in her hands, as they dug into the loose shirt that she wore, twisting and wrinkling the fabric over and over.

"Fascinating." The dark haired vampire, the one with golden eyes, was suddenly in front of me, diverting my attention. I took an automatic step back but his hand reached out and grabbed me at the same time, pulling me back to him. He kept a firm but not painful grip on my hair as he studied me, forcing me to hold still. "The stories are true. I can't see this one at all. It's quite remarkable." I couldn't understand what he meant by 'seeing' me. His eyes seemed to catch every detail; what about me was cloaked to him?

Abruptly he released me. I hadn't been expecting it and I stumbled, nearly falling. I righted myself just in time to see the blur of motion and then he was in front of Elisa. I went cold as I saw him reach out a long white finger to stroke her cheek, his eyes bright with interest.

"You, however, are clear as glass to me," I heard his low murmur as he leaned forward to speak in her ear.

Irina laughed then, a tinkling, brittle sound. "You're too forward. Introduce yourself to the humans before you start pawing at them."

"Oh, yes." He smirked slightly as he stepped away from Elisa and turned to include me in his glance. "I am Sebastian, and this," he jerked his head towards the bulky blond vampire, "is Dax."

"_Sebastian?" _

Elisa and I had spoken at the same time and his smile widened. "Have my old friends mentioned me, then?"

I nodded, than bit my lip immediately, remembering what Alice and Edward had had to say about their fellow 'vegetarian' was less than flattering. A quick glance out of the corner of my eye told me that Elisa's expression matched mine.

"I thought you were on a ship," she blurted out abruptly.

Sebastian's face broke once again into that blindingly cocky smile. "I told you they'd check, Irina. Edward always thinks the worst of me."

He made a mock hurt face as he turned towards Elisa. "I _was_ on a ship but when Irina called, I took a little swim back to shore. My curiosity got the best of me, I suppose. I was so eager to meet the human that Edward's been hiding. You, however, are quite the unexpected bonus." That same eager gleam returned to his eyes, and Elisa blanched as he turned back towards Irina. "I don't recall you mentioning that there were two of them."

Irina rolled dismissive eyes in Elisa's direction. "Bella is the one we came for. The little one is Carlisle's latest pet, I gather. She's of no use to us."

"That point could be argued," Sebastian murmured. He put a finger under Elisa's chin and tilted her face upwards. "What's your name, pretty pet?"

"E-Elisa," she stammered in response. Her small frame was tense, as if she wanted to pull away but was afraid of what would happen if she did.

"Elisa. Beautiful," Sebastian smiled and released her.

"I must say, this has worked out so much better than I'd ever anticipated," Irina's voice sounded again, drawing my attention back to her. "We hadn't planned on coming for you today. We were only in the area to scout it out, as one might put it, to see where you were and how difficult it might be to get to you. Imagine our surprise when we saw Carlisle and his clan depart, leaving you so very conveniently alone. Careless of them, really. When the hen house is left unguarded, the foxes will come out to play."

Any hope that this was just a casual visit drained away at her words. I could feel the blood leaving my face in a rush, and the chill settling on my skin had nothing to do with the cold.

"So this is all about Laurent?" I finally managed to croak out. My voice shook. "He died because of me, so you want to hurt me for revenge, just like Victoria?"

"Not like Victoria!" In a second Irina's calm façade was ripped away. "Don't you dare mix my name in the same sentence as hers!" The feral look was back, her mouth twisting into a grimace. "The wolves killed Laurent, but she was the one who set him in their path. He never would have gone looking for you if not for that bitch. He didn't want to, did you know that? Laurent never held anything against you or Edward, but she kept at him. He thought he owed her…"

"Why did you – " I broke off abruptly, realizing the folly of my question too late, but Irina clearly understood what I'd meant to say. "Why did I let him go? I didn't. I told her if she ever came around again I'd tear her into pieces myself. I thought she'd never come back after that." Irina's voice suddenly broke. She was pacing now, back and forth, not looking at me any longer. "I only left for a few days. When I came back, he - " She paused, shaking her head.

Her voice began to shake. "Do you know how long I waited for him? Nearly a thousand years I've lived this cursed existence. I bided my time for centuries. I was patient. I never complained, because I knew when I found the right one it would all be worth it. And it was…Laurent was everything I needed to complete my eternity. But how long did I get to have him, Bella? After all the centuries of waiting…how long?"

She whirled, staring at me. "Less than a human year before he was taken away from me. A moment for one as old as me, time I could measure in one long blink of the eyes and he was torn away from me! All that waiting…for what? So I could know pain? To spend the rest of forever grieving for him?" Her voice rose and cracked now. "I begged to go when Carlisle called and asked for help. I wanted Victoria dead so badly…" Her fingers curled into claws. "But my family wouldn't let me. They knew I'd turn on the wolves next and break the precious peace that was so important to our friends. They cared nothing for the dogs, of course, but allies among our kind are a rare thing. So they put what Carlisle and his clan wanted above everything. Above avenging Laurent's death. Above _me_!"

There was a whirlpool of emotion packed into that simple sentence. Irina whipped back around to face me then, and the ferocious expression on her face dimmed into cold contemplation. "If they thought I'd just let this go, that I wouldn't avenge him myself, then they've forgotten exactly what I'm capable of. Edward took care of Victoria and now I'll take care of the dogs. They wiped Laurent off the face of the earth. I am going to return the favor. When we're done, there won't be a Quileute left to pass on their precious legacy. That is my gift to him."

"No!" The cry came from both Elisa and me at the same time. Irina ignored us as we exchanged frantic glances. I had to do something, say something, but what? So much was at stake here and I felt helpless, powerless, confused…what was my part in all of this?

It seemed apprehension and fear for Jacob, for his tribe, had glued my lips together while she spoke. Irina paused now, looking at me, apparently expecting some kind of response. I pried my mouth open with difficulty, my mind racing. I had to find the right words. "You can't…you'll die trying. There's too many of them now. The pack is growing all the time – there might even be more now, and they're more powerful than you know."

Unexpectedly, Irina's face lit up. "Of course, Bella. You are exactly right. What chance do the three of us," she looked over her shoulder at Dax and Sebastian, who smirked, "have against a whole werewolf pack? But you see, it won't just be us. My clan, the Cullens, our friends, will all be forced to unite against them. It will be war, one that we will win. And when we do, the Quileute legacy will be dust and memories, just like my Laurent. Appropriate, don't you think?"

"But how – " Elisa stammered.

Irina smiled then, her cold façade snapping back into place, her agony over Laurent put away. "Did you think I came straight here? Oh no. This is too important to be rushed. We've been doing our research quite carefully, on the dogs' own turf, no less, deciding the best way to strike."

"You've been in La Push?" My voice was choked, horrified. A roster of names flickered to life in my head. Jacob. Billy. Sam. Emily. The rest of the pack. Irina had been there, with her murderous cohorts, alongside my friends, people who'd risked their lives for me, and it was all my fault. I thought if I'd left, the danger would leave…I'd been so naive.

"Oh yes." Irina's smile widened. "The wolves are fascinating creatures." There was a hard edge to her voice now, making the sarcasm into malice. "They knew we were there, of course…our scent drove them wild. I'm sure the fact that they couldn't catch up to us was very frustrating for them. We did, however, generously grant them a small bit of satisfaction."

The burly, red-eyed vampire called Dax grinned. "Yeah…there used to be four of us. Irina decided our companion was - dispensable." He burst into riotous laughter, as if he'd just told a very good joke, oblivious to the derisive looks both Irina and Sebastian threw him. From their attitude, I could easily guess Dax's place in all this. They didn't consider him their partner or their equal. He was quite literally the hired muscle.

"I wanted to watch them, you see." Irina turned her attention back to me. "I wanted to see how they attacked, exactly, how they worked together. It proved to be very interesting. The pack moves in tandem, seemingly with no need to communicate aloud. It proved to me something that I had theorized about." Her eyes locked on me. "One mind. The pack collective. That's how it works, isn't it?"

I didn't want to answer that. I could tell that somehow, this information was vitally important to her, a key part of her plan, and if I could just bluff, make her uncertain, then maybe -

My attempt at subterfuge was worthless. My too easy to read face had already given it away and Irina's eyes gleamed. "Yes, precisely! They are linked when they are in their wolf form. What one knows, all know. What one feels, all feel." Her face became solemn, almost regretful. "And that, I'm afraid, is where you come in, Bella."

I shook my head, my heart swelling with panic for Jacob and the rest of them. "I won't help you - please, just - "

"Quiet." Irina waved an impatient hand. "I also spent some time in Forks." My gasp interrupted her again, new names flooding into my head this time. Charlie. Angela. Jessica. Ben. So many others…

The look she flashed at me was blazing this time. Instinctively I stepped back. Elisa huddled closer to me.

"No one was harmed. I'm not a wild animal. I don't take life casually, whether it's human or vampire." She seemed almost offended that I might think otherwise, as if we shouldn't judge her despite her sudden arrival and clearly murderous intentions. "But I did pay attention to the humans' gossip. You and the Cullens are still the big news around there. And there was one particularly delicious rumor…apparently your marriage and subsequent departure left a certain hot-headed young man, Jacob, quite devastated. Jacob Black, a _Quileute_." She smiled archly. "A _werewolf_. One that has the serious misfortune to be in love with a vampire's wife. Or perhaps you are the unfortunate one. You see, Bella, your death at my hands will give Laurent the vengeance that he was denied before. When poor lovelorn Jacob watches me, a vampire, kill you before his eyes, his own need for revenge will be unstoppable. And his fury will belong to his brothers as well. The dogs will rage, and they will attack. My clan will not sit idly by and let the wolves hunt us down. Neither will yours. They'll have no choice but to fight. Others of our kind will hear about the threat. They will come at them in force. We protect our own."

"No!" Elisa cried out. "You can't - " I felt her body trembling violently next to me. My own frame was shaking harder as I turned to her and put my hand across her mouth. "Elisa. Please." My voice was surprisingly calm.

Irina didn't spare a glance for Elisa. Her eyes never left mine. The other two vampires, however, didn't share her indifference. I saw one set of eyes, then the other, lock onto Elisa, who was still under my restraining hand. A protective instinct welled up in me. If I had to die, let me be the only one. I would do whatever I could to make them leave her be.

Sebastian came in a flurry of movement to stand next to Irina. His expression was one of strained patience. "Enough talking. Bella, you know our kind well enough to know there's no fighting us. We can force you to come with us easily, but it would be tiresome. So the question becomes, how much pain must we inflict upon you to gain your cooperation?"

I stared at the three vampires and in those seconds, as they waited for my reply, I saw so clearly the dreams of my future blowing away, ashes in the wind, just like Irina had said. _Edward!_ My mind screamed, unwilling to accept that it was going to end like this. He must know by now that something was wrong. He'd come – they all would. Seven against three…surely we'd be saved.

But what if it wasn't that easy? Irina was outnumbered, but she was hundreds of years older, more powerful, more experienced. She wouldn't go easily. Dax was certainly a threat; she'd known what she was doing when she recruited him. Sebastian was an unknown element but a dangerous one. Alice and Edward has as much as said so themselves. In the inevitable battle, no one was guaranteed to survive. My family…which of them could I stand to lose? I'd put them in this position before and the terror for them, for Edward, had been unendurable. How could I risk them all again?

There was only one decision I could make. I stepped forward.

"Bella, don't!" Elisa grabbed my hand as I pulled away from her, but almost immediately Irina had my arm. She pulled me effortlessly across the pavement and to her side.

"A wise choice, Bella." A long, white finger reached out and touched my face contemplatively. "Your death is a means to an end. I get no pleasure out of it, nor would I by causing you pain. The more you cooperate, the less you'll feel. It's a necessity that your death will have to be bloody, for show, you see. But I'll try to make it quick."

Her hand stroked my cheek, shockingly gentle in comparison to her words, almost motherly. "I'm sorry for you, but I'm sorrier for Edward. Your suffering will be over quickly. What he'll face is unendurable. Losing you will destroy him." For a moment, her face showed true regret and something like hope leapt in my heart. Maybe she was still in there, the Irina that my husband knew and loved. Maybe she could be reasoned with.

"Then don't do this to him, Irina. Please. Don't be responsible for what will happen to him. You know how it feels – " Before I could even finish my sentence I knew I'd said the wrong thing. Irina's face went hard and her hand dropped away.

"I _do_ know how it feels!" The words were hissed between bared teeth. "And tell me, did Edward ever spare a thought for my pain? Did he ever regard Laurent's death as any more than righteous retribution for daring to touch his precious Bella? Was he there for me as I would have been there for him had our situations been reversed?"

I was helpless to defend Edward against Irina's sudden rage. Her voice quieted, but her words were no less harsh. "He didn't even think of me, did he? But soon he'll know. He'll know _exactly_ what I went through!"

"And he'll kill you for it," I whispered through numb lips.

The near ferocious anger suddenly drained out of Irina's face nearly as fast as it had come. It was replaced by a nearly tranquil smile as she leaned towards me, her voice now just a whisper.

"I know."

With her words, all the hope that I had left packed its suitcase and fled like a thief in the night. This was more than vengeance. Irina knew she'd die. She _wanted_ it. This was a suicide mission. She wanted her pain to end and she was mad enough with grief to want to take as many people with her as possible. I could not reason with her. All I could do was accept my fate and hope that Edward and the others would grant her wish quickly, before she could do more damage. This couldn't end in war…they wouldn't let it. Not even Jacob, as distraught as he'd be. He'd have to know it was the last thing I would have wanted. Irina wanted him to witness my death. Maybe I'd have a few minutes to tell him, to warn him…

Even as I hated Irina for what she was going to do to me, to Edward, to everyone that I loved, I understood her. The vampire that stood before me radiating menace was not the Irina she had once been. She was the creature that unrelenting grief had shaped her into. Edward had tried to explain it to me before, but now I saw for myself the unyielding, unchanging beings that vampires really were. Here, we humans for all our weaknesses had the advantage. We could suffer terrible pain and loss and continue on. For us, time could heal; perhaps not take away the pain, but ease it a bit. Vampires could not adjust like we did. Just as love would always seem the brand new, all encompassing emotion that it did when it was new, so would loss. I had known that incredible agony, and as bad as it had been for me I still could not comprehend what it must be like to know one was going to experience that feeling with no surcease from now until eternity. Time would never soften the blow. Immortality was her enemy now, her punishment, her price.

Over my shoulder, I saw Sebastian's darkened expression. He was looking at Irina as if he'd just realized something unpleasant, but it was Dax's face that chilled me. He was looking at Elisa again, the way a starving dog looks at a meaty bone just out of reach.

"Let's go." I whispered huskily. I would not cry now. I would not break down in front of Elisa. So far, Irina hadn't paid her the least bit of attention. I couldn't save myself, but I could try to get them away from her, to ensure that at least she'd survive this horrible day. And if she did, I wanted her to tell Edward I'd been brave. I didn't want him to suffer through these last few memories she'd share with him any more than he had to.

"Yes, let's." Irina turned towards the garden gate, accepting without question that I would follow. And despite the fear weighing me down, I would have, but Elisa's voice rang out. I cringed as she ran forward to block Irina's path. "NO! I won't let you take her, you crazy –"

Irina flicked a disdainful hand in Elisa's direction. I didn't even see her make contact, yet the force of her blow hurled Elisa back into the garden wall where she crumpled to the ground. I cried out in alarm, trying to go to her, but Irina's hand was instantly on my shoulder, her fingers digging into my skin. "Behave." She hissed.

To my relief, Elisa was already getting to her feet, although she looked dazed. She touched a shaky hand to her head. The relief curdled in my stomach when she pulled it away to examine the slight red stain on it. Sebastian and Dax stiffened immediately, both turning to her as if on cue. A low growl emanated from Dax's throat.

"Control yourselves." Irina snapped at them coldly, her voice impatient. "We have more important things to do."

"Irina…" Dax looked at her, his face wheedling. "Let me have the little one. You don't need her; you said it yourself."

"We have no time," Irina let go of my shoulder and turned to him. "You've fed already. Now let's go."

"But what if she raises the alarm?" Dax's tone was calculating. "You've told her where we're going. What if she sends the others after us?"

"No!" I cried as I saw Irina's face become contemplative. Elisa paled now, coming out of her daze. She clearly realized the danger she was in. "She won't - you can tie her up or something. Please - " I was ready to beg on my knees if I had to.

Irina spoke over me as if I wasn't there. "I don't know. Tanya likes her…she'd be upset." But her tone betrayed how little that meant to her anymore. She'd stopped caring about Tanya's feelings the moment she'd set foot on the path that brought her here. My heart began to pound.

Dax heard her complacency too and his grin became animalistic as he turned towards Elisa.

"Please, Irina!" I tried again. "You've got what you came here for. She has nothing to do with this! You said yourself that you don't allow life to be taken without reason. There's no reason to kill her!"

Irina's lip curled. "Oh, there's reason. She'll be a reminder…a cautionary tale for my dear friends, just as you'll be. If Edward hadn't been so determined to have you, if the Cullens had made the choice to change you long ago instead of believing they could bend the rules without consequences, none of this would have happened. Lessons will be learned! Both of you will serve as a reminder of what happens when our kind is careless. Humans don't belong in our world." She nodded now to the one that had been waiting for permission. "Make it quick."

"STOP!" Sebastian's voice rang out, freezing all of us in our tracks. Dax and Irina gave him astonished looks.

Sebastian moved forward in a flash to stand next to Elisa, blocking Dax. "This one is_ mine_."

"What?" Dax's face betrayed anger and shock. "You don't even eat humans!"

Sebastian smiled then, a cold, amused smile that sent warning signals screaming through my brain. "Correction. I don't feed on humans _often_. A glutton with so little self-control like yourself couldn't possibly understand, Dax, but I'll try to explain it anyway. I abstain from human blood because I will not allow myself to be ruled by desire and instinct like the common vampire. However, every few years, I happen upon an exceptionally luscious mortal; one with a taste that I know will be beyond compare. My long stints of abstinence in between make the feast beyond any pleasure you could ever imagine. This one intoxicates me…her scent…the things she makes me see… Who knows? I might even keep her."

His fingers idly played with a lock of Elisa's hair as he spoke. She didn't move away…she didn't move at all. She barely seemed to be breathing. Her only reaction to his words had been in the widening of her eyes. Silently, uselessly, I encouraged her inaction, trying to think of a way to divert his attention from her.

"We don't have time for that!" Irina's face was furious. "Alice must have seen us here by now. We have to take Bella and go or our plans will be ruined!"

Sebastian's lip curled as he looked back at Irina. "Oh, yes. The plan. Well, Irina, if I may be honest, I never really cared about your plan. I was simply bored, and a werewolf fight sounded like fun. You neglected to mention the not fun part where Edward kills us."

"I can take care of him." Dax's self satisfied expression was grating. He clearly did not comprehend that Irina had set him on a path that would almost certainly lead to his demise, so assured he was of his own abilities.

"Well, be that as it may, I'm fairly certain that somehow at the end of this scenario my head parts ways with my body. I came here out of curiosity, not a death wish. Now I've found something better to do so I'm afraid you two will have to play dogcatcher without me."

"I should have known better than to trust you," Irina hissed at him.

Sebastian shrugged. "Probably," he admitted with a smile.

Endless seconds passed as the two of them stared each other down. My heart felt like it might explode. What could I do? Sebastian was still dangerously close to Elisa. I had no hope of getting her out of his reach. I could only pray that Irina would be so panicked by the Cullens inevitable return that she would force them to leave with me before they could carry out their plans for Elisa.

"So be it then," Irina nodded to Dax, and before I could register what was happening, he turned towards Elisa, his face twisting into a near salivating snarl. At the same time, Irina blocked Sebastian's path, distracting him.

"You're either with me or against me, Sebastian. Are you really foolish enough to challenge me? Let the pet go or die with her."

Livid rage darkened Sebastian's features. If he were human, his face would have been a mottled red. He dropped into the attacking crouch I'd seen too many times before. Irina answered him with a vicious growl. As they circled each other my attention was diverted again by Dax's movement. He was moving at a wary, catlike pace, edging past Sebastian towards Elisa. My heart jumped into my throat. I wanted to cry out, warning her, but Elisa was already well aware of the danger. She stumbled backwards, cornered like a hunted animal with no where to go.

Dax glanced back at Sebastian, cornered by Irina, and then he moved so fast he blurred, racing towards his prey. As soon as I saw him speed up, I moved as well, instinct sending me running towards Elisa. What I was thinking, how I could protect her, I didn't know. I just had to get to her.

Dax was much, much faster, of course, but I was closer. Just as he reached Elisa, I did as well. Without thinking, I reached out and shoved her out of the way. At almost the same time, I collided with Dax. It felt like I'd been smacked full on with a metal sheet. Something sharp raced across my skin so fast that I didn't have time to understand, to register pain, to comprehend that I was falling until my body hit the ground.

The air was immediately full of screams. Above me, Elisa was crying my name, her voice full of panic and hysteria. I wanted to reassure her, trying to sit up, but my limbs wouldn't cooperate. I still felt nothing, but my head was spinning. I felt weightless, limp, and then the smell crept up around me and my stomach jolted. Blood…was Elisa hurt?

"Elisa – " I tried to say her name but all that came out was a desperate, choking, gurgling noise. And then I felt it…the most horrific sensation of air rushing out of my own skin. I brought my hand up to my throat only to recoil away. My hand had touched something wet, hot…and the jagged edges of ruined flesh.

Now I felt it, the blood pouring from my throat down my chest, soaking my clothes, saturating the air. It was bubbling up in my mouth too, choking me, drowning me. I gagged as it spilled out over my lips.

Through the shock I felt a dull terror building inside of me. It battled with the odd sensation of near languor, peace…my body felt so suddenly weary, so tired…I wanted to tell Elisa it was OK, to stop screaming. It would be alright. Didn't she understand? I'd been bitten. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be, but the venom would heal me.

As the disconnection between my mind and body ebbed, I was brought back by the desperate need for air, by the tearing pain that was beginning to overtake me. My body thrashed, out of my control. Above me, Elisa was kneeling down, supporting my head, her face a mask of horror. I felt her hand at my throat, desperately trying to stop the tide of blood. She was talking…other voices were screaming behind her, but I couldn't comprehend what they said.

Even as I struggled to keep from going under, to give into the shock, I was waiting, for the burning that I knew was coming, that would make the pain I felt now seem like a pleasant dream. Even as I feared it, I welcomed it.

It didn't come. My vision was blurring, the pain dissipating instead of increasing…even the horrible sensation of suffocating on my own blood was easing. Everything was pulling away, like the world was shrinking around me, fading away. No, _I_ was fading away.

Now I understood why.

I wasn't changing. I was just…_dying_.

To Be Continued

_**A/N**_

_***cringes* I know, I know! Don't hate me…I could have tried to write the next part but I'm traveling almost all of July so it would have taken me another 3432434 days and I really wanted to get this out before I left. Don't hate me. I've written part of the next chapter already and will try to write more while on vacation.**_

_**Despite the wretched cliffhanger, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. I've been building up to this one for a LONG time.**_

_**Oh, and I'm aware that Breaking Dawn describes Irina as a blonde but I've had this planned out since before BD and in my head, Irina was always dark haired so I hope you'll excuse my creative license.  
**_

**As always, reviews are shamelessly courted.**


	17. Repercussions

_**Ok, I know what you're thinking. You're looking at this page, then you're looking at your calendar, and you're thinking NO FREAKING WAY. She did not update in only a month's time. Not the queen of the missed deadline and the three month wait. This must be some epic ass author's note. Leave it to Ava to write a 5k excuse about why the next chapter isn't here yet.**_

_**But really, it is a chapter. A WHOLE chapter! I came back a little earlier than I expected from vacation with my creative well all replenished and despite the fact that I had a wonderful time, could not wait to get back to writing. It is true the chapter is shorter than my normal never ending story, but it is for good reason.**_

_**Thanks again to everyone who has read, reviewed, wrote with me, and listened to me babble on endlessly about this story. As always, is appreciated so much more than any of you will ever know. And I do apologize to anyone who has not yet received a review reply. I am woefully behind, but shall immediately devote myself to catching up.**_

_**And here we go…**_

_**Chapter 17:**_

_**Repercussions**_

_Elisa:_

NO.

It was the word that kept coming back to my lips, to my mind, echoed over and over again. This couldn't be happening; none of it. This was just a bad dream, my imagination gone haywire. My mind refused to accept the truth of the situation, as if the force of my will could freeze everything in an instant. If only wishing could turn everything back to the moments before Dax had lunged at me. Before Bella had tried to intercede. Before the hands that had been reaching for me ripped into her instead.

What happened had been far too fast for me to understand. Dax and Bella had collided as I'd fallen back, pushed out of harm's way. Almost instantly she had crumpled to the ground and at first I didn't realize how bad it was. Not until I saw the blood spurt from between the fingers she had clasped over her throat. Her own expression was bewildered as she struggled to rise.

The soothing haze of shock abated all too quickly and I was ripped back into the living nightmare of this new reality.

I didn't remember running to her, or how I had managed to lift her upper half onto my lap without hurting her more. It seemed I was just instantly there. The sight of her ravaged throat up close was an appalling sight that I would never be able forget. It was instinct that had me covering the brutal gash with my hand, trying to hold it closed. She choked and gasped in my arms, flailing as she struggled for breath.

"Bella, please, hold still. It's going to be OK, everything will be alright…" I was babbling in a nonsensical attempt to soothe her, but it was foiled by the tears that were streaming down my face. Never had I felt more helpless than I did at that moment.

Bella's eyes had been locked onto me but abruptly her gaze left mine, a look of utter horror crossing her face as she stared at something over my shoulder. I was slow to catch onto the danger; had almost forgotten what a precarious situation we were still in. A shadow fell over us, and I screamed when I looked up to see Dax closing in, a wild cat circling his wounded prey. On one of his hands, his razor sharp fingernails were crimson tipped. He looked at them with a feral grin, deliberately bringing his fingers to his mouth, sucking Bella's blood off of them. All the while he stared down at us, a predatory smile twisting his mouth.

We were out of options. Escape was impossible. There was nothing I could do but huddle myself over Bella, a useless, weak human shield, and wait for the inevitable.

"NO! No, no, no, no_!_ You imbecile!_ Not her_!" The hysterical, banshee like wail had my head shooting back upwards. Dax froze in place, turning slowly to look at Irina. She ran forward, leaning down to stare at Bella. Her face was enraged, so twisted with fury that she looked like she had gone completely mad. Dax seemed stunned at the force of her reaction as she whipped around to face him.

Bella jerked in my grasp but I couldn't take my eyes off the two of them. Dax was taking the defensive now. He was no longer Irina's cowed lackey. He was a ferocious predator willing to fight to the death to protect his kill. Irina advanced on him and he snarled, crouching, a clear invitation to battle.

It was an idiot move on his part. He should have run. Irina launched herself at him with a wild shriek so loud my eardrums ached with the sound of it. He went flying with the force of her blow, slamming into the garden wall. It exploded with a near sonic sounding boom, bricks and dirt spraying everywhere. I had to duck to protect Bella and myself from the flying rubble.

Before Dax could even attempt to rise, Irina was on him, screeching words in a language I didn't understand. They melded into a blur of tangled, struggling limbs.

The cacophony of shrieks and howls was unrelenting, accompanied with a sound like cracking stone.

Even as I cringed away from what I was seeing, another part of me, a cold, vengeful part, wanted to keep watching, rejoicing remorselessly every time Dax screamed. He was getting what he deserved, and I was glad of it. If he managed to mortally wound Irina before he died, so much the better.

My fractured attention snapped back to Bella. Her spasms had stopped, her face becoming oddly slack, almost peaceful. Terror shot through me.

"Bella!" Instinct kept my voice a low hiss. To my great relief, her eyes slowly turned back to me, awareness – and pain – returning to her expression once more.

"Stay with me, Bella. I'm going to get us out of here." My whisper was more hopeful wishing than reality. This was the time for escape, while Irina and Dax were diverted, but what could I do? How could I move her? I wasn't strong enough to carry her. If I tried to drag her, I could hurt her. Where would I even go? The house, maybe…if I could get to a phone, surely the fear of human discovery would force Irina to flee. It seemed an impossible task, but I had to try.

I tensed, preparing to move, when a low voice sounded in my ear.

"Going somewhere?"

My cry of alarm strangled in my throat. I had almost forgotten Sebastian's presence. When his voice sounded only the strong instinct to keep Bella still prevented me from jumping. He had come from seemingly nowhere to kneel down next to us. I wanted to pull away, but I didn't dare move.

"Well, this is bloody inconvenient," he murmured as he looked at Bella cradled in my arms. At the look I flashed him, he grinned. "Pardon the pun."

I stared at him warily

"You'll never make it anywhere with her, you know. It's such a waste, really. She'll die for nothing now."

Bella moved again at his words, her eyes agonized. Her lips parted but she was still unable to speak. Sebastian shook his head in mock sympathy. His face betrayed nothing but casual interest, as if he was a blameless observer rather than an accessory to what had happened. I was amazed at how calm he was in the presence of so much fresh, flowing blood.

As I returned his stare, my heart began to pound with something like hope.

"You can help her," my voice was hoarse, desperate. "Save her. _Please_."

Sebastian arched a black eyebrow. "What exactly is it that you are asking me to do?" He knew full well, but his expression said he wanted me to say it.

I looked down at Bella before I spoke again. She stared from Sebastian back to me. Her chin moved the tiniest fraction, but I understood what she was trying to tell me. I looked back at Sebastian.

"Change her."

Sebastian looked at me, waiting for more. I moistened my dry lips. "Save her, and you can do whatever you want with me. I won't fight you."

Bella's eyes betrayed alarm now. I ignored her frantic gaze, choosing instead to look directly into Sebastian's golden eyes.

His low laugh sounded. "Do you really think you have anything to bargain with? I can do whatever I want with you regardless. How do you imagine you could fight me? Still…" he looked at Bella contemplatively. "Having Edward in my debt could be quite useful some day…"

"Then do it!" I begged, looking frantically over my shoulder. We were running out of time. Any second now, an enraged Irina could descend on us. She was still screaming incoherently in the distance but Dax had long stopped making any noise at all.

Sebastian hesitated, looking at Bella, so blood spattered and pale as she gasped for breath that she looked like a corpse already. "You're too far gone, you must realize. This is probably just going to kill you," he informed her in a tone so cavalier that if he hadn't been in the position to be Bella's savior I would have wanted to claw off his face.

"Do…it…" Bella's soundless whisper was still clear to both of us. Sebastian inclined his head and reaching down, picked up her wrist. He brought it to his lips.

I held my breath as his mouth grazed her skin. Bella flinched and gritted her teeth. I tightened my grip on her, trying my best to keep her still.

It was both terrifying and fascinating to watch the change in Sebastian's face as his teeth pierced Bella's skin. His features tightened, became more animalistic, and a grunt escaped his lips. As I stared, red began to flood his eyes, overwhelming the gold.

It seemed as if his lips had barely touched her, however, when his head suddenly jerked up and her limp arm dropped to the ground beside me.

"NO!" I cried. "Don't stop –"

Bella was writhing in clear agony and it was harder to keep my grip on her. I opened my mouth to scream at him to finish what he'd started but my words broke off as I saw what he was staring at. Irina was only a few feet from us, completely still. Her attention was focused away from us, as she stared into the forest.

Whatever held her attention had captured Sebastian's as well. He shook his head, as if trying to shake off the lure of Bella's blood, and inhaled deeply. His features darkened and he groaned.

In a flash, he stood up, ignoring my desperate protests. "Sorry, love. Company's coming and they're sure to be put out with me. I can't take you…you'll slow me down and in the interest of not being dead, I need to move quickly."

His face sobered as he looked downward. "My apologies, Bella. It was worth a try."

I grabbed for his pant leg as he moved away and instantly he was kneeling again, his face next to mine. "Don't waste your time on a lost cause. I didn't give her enough. Leave her and run while you still can, before Irina takes out her disappointment on you as well."

With what seemed to be a single step, he was several feet away, turning to look at me one last time. "Take my advice, Elisa. Save yourself. I am very much counting on seeing you again."

"Wait!" My cry was useless. The place where he stood was empty, only the leaves still rippling in his wake giving any sign he'd been there at all.

Frantically, I used my free hand to pick up Bella's arm, praying. My heart leapt wildly, actually hurting my chest, when I saw the small, bloody wound. It had to be something, right? Even a tiny bit of venom…

My own gasp interrupted my frantic internal bargaining. The small wound was already healing, the tiny rips in the flesh sealing before my eyes. It still looked pink and raw, a cut a day or two old, but it was enough to make my fragile hopes soar once more. Desperately, I looked down at my hand covering the tear in Bella's throat. I didn't dare remove it to check for signs of healing. It felt as gaping and mortal as ever. Blood still oozed between my fingers and underneath my palm, but had it slowed? There was already so much of it on both of us it was impossible to tell.

Another breathless hiss from Bella caught my attention. She was staring up at me again, her face straining as she fought to communicate with me. I read her lips clearly. "Go…run…"

I pressed my lips into a defiant line, realizing what she was asking, and shook my head. "I won't leave you, Bella."

Her responding glare was fierce, her eyes urgent with her need to convince me. It was a lost cause. She was lying here because of me. There was no way I would abandon her now.

"Irina!"

The nearby rustling, and the quiet footsteps although I registered it dimly, was not enough to distract from my fervent musing, but the voice that sounded was. For a single instant, I thought we were saved, until I realized why the voice was so familiar.

Tanya had appeared, streaking out from the tree line like a comet flying across the sky. Running with her was another vampire, a woman with long, auburn hair. The third sister – I had no idea what her name was.

"Irina!" Tanya spoke again, her voice tinged with shock. She had come to a stop in front of Irina. The auburn haired one hesitated for a moment, then with a blur of speed she appeared at my side, kneeling down next to Bella. I reared back, holding Bella tighter as wariness flooded me. Were they here to stop Irina – or to help her?

Tanya's face was aghast as she looked from Irina to Bella crumpled in my grip.

"Bella?" The auburn haired woman spoke with a faint accent, her voice questioning as she looked at Bella's limp figure.

I nodded numbly and the vampire moaned softly, shaking her head. Her cool fingers were suddenly on top of the hand that I had against Bella's throat, repositioning my own before I could object. "Put pressure here," she ordered quietly.

I felt the difference immediately. The seemingly never ending flow of blood slowed instantly underneath my skin.

"You must be Elisa. My name is Kate. Don't be frightened now. We're here to help." Her voice was clearly meant to be soothing, but I heard the falseness beneath it. She could not quite mask the dread in her eyes every time she looked at Bella.

Bella blinked up at her, looking as though she were struggling to comprehend her words. My stomach clenched at the confusion on her face. She was barely hanging on.

"Irina," Tanya's voice sounded again, and the note of pure anguish in it pulled my gaze to them again. "What have you done?"

Irina stepped away from her sister, tense and wary. She looked torn between fight and flight even as her face was furious and defensive. "What you wouldn't!" Her shout was thunderous.

"But why? Why did you do this to our friends? To _Edward_?" Still on her knees next to me, Kate glared up at her sister. "You've betrayed us and everything we stand for! How could you do this to an innocent? She was not to blame for Laurent's death! It was Victoria - "

"Don't say her name!" Irina shouted. The hysterical tone was back in her voice. "She is dead, but the dogs live, thanks to the two of you and Eleazer and Carmen as well! None of you stood by me when I needed you! You all were too weak, too afraid to break with Carlisle and his clan, to stand with me and avenge Laurent. My own people refused to help me when I needed you the most. You forced me to act! Bella's blood is on your hands just as much as mine!"

"Irina, you have to stop this now. Don't you realize the danger you're in?" Tanya's demeanor as she spoke to her prodigal sister was in stark contrast to Kate's angry tone. Her face was pained, pleading. "This will not be forgiven. Edward will kill you and none of them will lift a finger to stop him!"

Irina sneered now. "Do you think I'm afraid to die? Every second of this cursed existence seems a century without Laurent. The only thing I have left is my promise to avenge him and I won't let anyone take that from me. Not even you! The dogs are our enemies! They must die, and if it takes Bella's death to start a war, so be it, even if I have to do it alone!"

"But you weren't alone, were you?" Tanya stared down, her expression full of disgust. In the dim light of approaching dusk, I couldn't see what she was staring at until she reached out and picked up something long and white…something that wriggled sinisterly in her grasp. Bella's eyes bulged and I gasped. It was Dax's arm, disembodied and yet, somehow, still inexplicably alive.

Kate looked stunned as well. In a flash she was on her feet, her figure blurring from place to place. I realized she was helping Tanya pick up the rest of Dax's body. It was a sickening sight, all of those trembling pieces, and I was glad I couldn't see them clearly. They tossed him into the empty fountain as if he was as inconsequential as trash on the highway. There was a snapping sound, and Tanya's hand seemed to flame until I realized she held a lit match. She tossed it into the fountain and it lit up like a bonfire, flames and sparks shooting high. The smoke smelled sickeningly sweet.

"Who else helped you, Irina?" Tanya's face was betraying anger now. Irina didn't answer, her fists clutched at her sides. Both Kate and Tanya took simultaneous, deep breaths, testing the air.

"Sebastian," Kate breathed. She looked furious, but it was nothing compared to Tanya's expression.

"That traitorous bastard," she snarled. "I'll kill him for this!"

Kate shook her head. "'We have time enough to deal with him. We have other priorities now," Her head turned towards me and Bella once more. "Help me get Bella inside. We have no time to waste." Her gaze included Irina as well as Tanya.

"Help you?" Irina snarled, her words dripping with malevolence. "Help you save _her_? No! A thousand times no! It's time for both of you to show your real loyalty now! She is nothing to us! _I_ am your sister. Help _me_! I can still start the war. I can take Bella's body to the Quileutes, and if you both stand at my side we can begin to cut them down." Her voice quieted, becoming cracked. Seeming to give up on Kate, she turned back to Tanya. "I have to do this, for Laurent. He deserves it. Please, I need you! Don't abandon me again. Help me destroy the dogs. It's the only way I will ever know peace!"

Tanya stared at her sister. For a moment, an endless moment in which my heart threatened to pound right out of my chest, she looked torn. Finally, her face cleared, though it was full of sorrow. "Irina, no! Let your hatred go before it destroys you. We have to get you home before the Cullens return. They'll kill you if we don't. Please, see reason! Let us protect you!"

"We can't just run!" Kate protested, kneeling once more next to us. "Not with Bella hurt!"

Tanya whirled to face her, her eyes suddenly blazing. "It's too late for her, Kate! She'll be dead in minutes, if she even has that. The damage has been done. Irina is right on one count. _She_ should be our priority. Our loyalty is, and always has been, to each other above all others. We cannot forget that now."

She turned back, holding out her hand to Irina. "Come with us, sister. Come home."

For a moment, I thought Irina would weaken. She stepped forward, her face drawn with indecision. Her hand fluttered upwards, towards Tanya's outstretched one. Abruptly, she stepped back, her eyes hardening.

"I can still do it," she hissed. "I can claim retribution for Laurent without any of you! I'll kill them all myself!"

"NO!" Kate and Tanya cried out at the same time but it was too late. Irina was already gone. Tanya's figure blurred for a moment as she started after her and stopped just as abruptly.

"What are you waiting for?" She demanded of Kate. "We have to stop her, or she'll destroy herself!"

Frantically I grabbed Kate's arm with my free hand before she rose. "Don't leave us! Bella will die! You have to change her!" I was close to hysteria myself, my voice breaking.

Kate hesitated, turning to look up at Tanya. "Tanya, please. We have to stay and do what we can!"

Tanya looked at us. Bella lurched in my arms. A gurgle came from her throat, perhaps her own attempt to plead for her life.

"And leave our sister to the mercy of the wolves? Or to the judgment of the Cullens? Are you truly choosing to just let her go?" Tanya's voice was thick with outrage.

Kate bent underneath Tanya's accusing stare. I saw her waver and dread began to weigh me down even as she spoke for us. "Tanya, how can we leave them?"

"You can't!" I cried out and for the first time, Tanya's gaze met mine, and quickly traveled lower to look at Bella.

"I'm truly sorry." Tanya's voice was gentler now. "But we can't help you and I won't let my sister die too." Her gaze settled on Kate. "You have to make your own choice, the choice you can live with. I am."

There was no time to bargain, to call her back. With a rush of air, Tanya was gone. I dug my fingers into Kate's stony skin, the pleas spilling over my lips so quickly I could barely make sense of them myself. She had to save Bella. We were out of chances. There was no one else.

Even as I begged, I knew it was too late. Kate's eyes were regretful, but resolved. She had made her choice.

"I can't," she shook her head and with a swift motion she was out of my grip and on her feet. The pity on her face revolted me. We didn't need her sympathy, we needed her action.

I was struggling to speak over her worthless apologies, frantic to make her understand, but she wasn't listening. "I've never changed anyone. I don't think I can by myself. I'm sorry. Please, believe me. I'm so, so sorry."

"NO!" I wailed. "No! Come back! Please, come back! Please!"

My cries were pointless. She had already gone, and with her, she had taken the last semblance of hope we'd had.

Bella's eyes were tearful, resigned. At least the pain had gone from her expression, but that was cold comfort. It only meant that she was too far gone to feel it anymore. I didn't even know if the venom was in her system anymore with how much she had bled out. Carefully, I cradled her head against one hand as I stared down at her, desperately willing her to keep fighting.

Her lips moved. She couldn't make any more than a gurgling sound but I understood the words anyway. "...Edward...tell Edward..."

"No," I whispered. I could feel my lips trembling. "_You_ tell Edward! He'll be here soon; you just have to hang on!"

Her lips moved again and I read the soundless words. "...please, Elisa..." The strain on her face as she struggled to communicate with me was wrenching.

"OK," I whispered, defeated. More tears fell from my eyes onto her pallid face. "I'll tell him, whatever you want."

Her eyes stared at me desperately but she now lacked the strength to even move her lips. She was dying, whether I wanted to accept it or not. She wanted me to tell Edward her final words, but she was too weak now to talk anymore. The time that Sebastian and his venom had bought us was rapidly running out and she knew it. Her own tears welled in her eyes and spilled over her temples, mixing with mine as they made tracks on her grimy skin.

I did my best to stop crying. The least I could do was be calm for her. In response to the question in her eyes, I tried my hardest to guess what she'd wanted to say. I couldn't deny her this last, tiny bit of peace.

"I'll tell him you love him. I'll tell him that..." I struggled silently, trying to find the right thing to say. "I'll tell him that no matter what, you'll always be with him. That you were so brave, and now it's his turn, to be brave like you, to go on. He will, Bella. He'll do it for you."

I must have guessed correctly for her bloodied, battered face relaxed. I hoped that I would be forgiven for the massive lie I had just told her. It was kinder now to not tell her the truth. For I knew without any shadow of a doubt that if we lost Bella, we'd lose Edward as well. No matter what anyone said, how hard we pleaded, if I shed an ocean of tears, he still would not stay on this earth without her. They could not exist without each other.

Bella's eyes were dimming now, turning away from me to stare aimlessly up at the gray sky. Panic gripped me and I shook her as lightly as I could. "Bella, no…look at me, Bella, look at me!" I was so frightened in that moment I might have slapped her face if I'd had a free hand. Even as grim as it seemed, I couldn't give up that tiny part of me that still believed she would make it through this. She was the princess in our story. This was her fairytale. It couldn't end this way!

To my overwhelming relief, Bella's eyelids flickered and her gaze returned to me. "Good," I crooned to her. "It won't be long now. Edward is coming."

A light flickered in her face then, fanning the painful singe of hope within me once more. I hurried to keep going, to say anything that would keep her from slipping away. "He's almost here. I can hear him."

"You…can?"

I couldn't imagine the reserve of strength it took for her to frame those words. I nodded eagerly, losing myself in the comfort of the lie. I was dimly aware that I was pulling dangerously away from the truth of the situation, hugging my spun bedtime story close to shield myself as much as her.

"He's running. He's so close. So you can't close your eyes now. He'll be disappointed if he comes and you're not awake. Promise, Bella? Stay awake for Edward."

"…Edward…" Bella's crimson stained lips formed his name and slowly curved into a half smile that must have cost her dearly.

Her eyes turned towards the forest, and my gaze followed. The image my words had formed in my own head had been too comforting; the sight of Edward rushing in to save the day the nick of time had been a lifeline for both of us. The harsh reality that I was confronted with, the sight of the empty tree line, was too much. I sobbed loudly, despite all my good intentions. My vision was so lost in the blur of tears that I couldn't see what effect my breakdown was having on Bella. Where was he? Why didn't he come?

"Edward…" I sobbed as the shadows lengthened over us, the last dull rays of the sun swallowed up in the darkening sky.

And then I was screaming, unable to stop, something snapping within me. Over and over, I screamed Edward's name, knowing it was useless, knowing it was too late.

Knowing that even after my breath and my voice were gone, I would still never, ever be able to stop.

_To Be Continued…_

**-ducks and covers-**

_I know, I know! I swear I actually wrote quite a bit beyond this, but no matter how I tried to justify it to myself, the rest of Elisa's chapter changed the tone too drastically and worse, it dragged. This had to be where I ended it. But I promise, the next chapter offers some resolution AND it is Edward's POV. I can't wait to get it out._

_Thank you__ all for bearing with me. I would love it if you review and let me know what you think._


	18. Vigil

**_Happy Holidays!_**

**_This chapter was, by far, the hardest one I have ever had to write. I've rewritten nearly all of it about three times. I am forcing myself to put it up now, just to get it over with. I want long time readers to know how very sorry I am that it took so long to get out but life these past few months has been a rollercoaster and focusing on my imaginary world is not always so easy._**

**_Rest assured I am not giving up on Evening Falls, and I hope you all don't give up on me._**

**_This chapter's format is slightly different from the others. Part of my rewriting process was my struggle to decide whether it should be from Edward or Elisa's POV. Neither one of them would shut up, so it had to be both. Because there are several changes of scene, instead of my usual Elisa/Edward heading, POV breaks are indicated by a line._**

**_To brush up on what's happening before you read this chapter, I recommend re-reading Chapter 17, Repercussions. For extra credit you might also want to re-read Wedding Daze part 2, Edward, and Miles To Go. :D_**

**_See a/n at end of chapter as well for info on an Evening Falls extra or two._**

_Chapter 18:_

_Vigil_

_The vision came, like thousands before it, without warning._

_What was different was the carnage this one left in its wake. With a few flickered images, Alice's foresight destroyed everything. Killed the happy, shared camaraderie the seven of us had been sharing in less than a second. Ripped away my hopes, my dreams, my future in a shower of blood and betrayal_.

_I didn't need to wait now for the rest of the vision that would confirm my worst fears. By the time Alice fell to her knees, screaming Bella's name, I was already running, and as I ran, for the first time in almost a century I began to pray..._

_

* * *

  
_

"Bella, it's raining," I whispered as I stroked her damp hair.

Bella's head remained cradled on my lap. I could barely make out her features in the dying light. Her open eyes glittered as they stared sightlessly up at the sky. Rainwater had pooled in their empty depths and spilled over, false tears on her ghostly white face.

I didn't know why I couldn't cry.

That the screams forced from my throat had stopped, I understood. It took a certain amount of energy and a voice I no longer had to scream. But that I could just sit there, quiet, calm, as the rain soaked my skin…it didn't make any sense. The tears that I had shed so easily before were out of my reach now.

I reached out and closed her eyelids. That was better. The rain had washed the blood and grime off of her face. She looked peaceful now. Almost like she was sleeping.

She didn't look like she had suffered. Maybe that would make Edward feel better. I wouldn't tell him the rest. I wouldn't tell him how she cried, about the convulsions that had racked her, how scared she had been.

How she had died waiting for a prince who didn't come in time to say goodbye.

But in thinking this, I had gone too far.

It was imagining it, imagining the look on Edward's face when he finally came through those trees, when he saw that he was too late, that broke through the icy veneer of shock I had wrapped myself in. My pain, I could hold off. His, I could not. Not knowing that I was the cause of all of this, that if it hadn't been for me and my uninvited intrusion into their lives, Bella would be safe right now, already immortal, out of Irina's reach.

Was this what I had come back for? Had I overcome death only to pass it on?  
To destroy everyone I came into contact with?

I desperately wanted to cry now, to release the pressure that was building inside of me, compressing my lungs and sealing my airway, but the tears I had shed so easily before were out of my reach. All I could do was rock back and forth, choking and gasping, my fingers squeezing Bella's cold hand tightly.

It was unendurable, the weight bearing down on me. I could feel myself being smashed underneath it, unable to resist as the pain morphed into something else, a piece of my nightmares, a memory I'd tried to forget.

The pressure was building, pushing on me, constricting, constraining, squeezing everything out of me. I tried to draw another breath but there was no more air to breathe in. I could feel myself solidifying, like I was turning to ice from the inside out. I couldn't move, couldn't blink but around me the world shifted and twisted. The darkness wavered and I rose and fell with it, like a too small boat on a storm tossed sea. My head was a cracked open chasm filled with the screaming I couldn't voice.

Bella's face swam in front of my clouded eyes. For just the tiniest tic of time, I could feel something besides the pressure that was twisting me and wringing me out. I could still feel her hand in mine and it was the only thing that kept me from giving up and falling into the abyss that was swallowing me.

With that realization, something else kicked in within me, a fiercely strong instinct that I didn't understand, screaming inside me, insisting that no matter what, I had to stay focused on her. I held onto her like a drowning man holds onto a lifeline.

Two things happened very fast. Something slammed into me, tearing Bella's hand out of mine, sending me airborne and smashing me back into the ground a few feet away. As soon as I lost my grip on her the whirling world around me went still once more and air rushed back into my lungs.

But that wasn't my salvation. It was what I had seen right before I went flying.

Bella's eyes.

_Open_.

* * *

If time had ever been my enemy before, if immortality had ever seemed unbelievably tedious or painful, it was nothing compared to how cruelly it punished me as I ran back to St. John's. It had taken us an hour to get to Buchans. It would not take me nearly as long to get home and yet every second was a waste, an eternity of futility. With every step I took, every ragged breath, I heard Elisa screaming my name. The whisper pounded in my ears like a false heartbeat: _too late, too late, too late._

It was worse still to smell her blood, far before I was finally breaking through the tree line and skidding to an abrupt stop. To not be able to prevent every single wretched scenario that presented itself to me, to be able to linger on the worst possibilities.

The reality was even worse then I'd feared. A scene from a human nightmare lay before me when I finally broke through the tree line and skidded to an abrupt stop.

Bella was crumpled in Elisa's arms, the two of them sprawled in a crimson rain driven river. They were oddly blurry in my sight, as if I was staring at them through a haze of human tears.

Bella was in my arms almost immediately. I felt oddly calm as I gathered her blood soaked body to my chest, carefully cradling her head. She felt cold…too, too cold. There was a roaring in my head, like I was standing next to the ocean during a storm, listening to the surf pound the shore. It drowned out everything else as I stared down at her.

"Edward?" My name was a pitiful croak coming from several feet away. I looked to see Elisa amidst the rubble of the destroyed garden wall, painfully pulling herself upright. Too late I realized I had thrown her out of my way, and I hadn't been gentle about it.

There wasn't room in my head to care.

I couldn't make myself accept what was right in front of me. Bella's eyes were half-lidded, uncomprehending. The wound on her neck wasn't real…the slow crimson trickle down her throat wasn't real, none of this could be real. The God that I believed in would not, could not be this cruel. Even if _I_ was damned, even if _I_ deserved to suffer, what had she ever done to anyone?

"Bella, please…Bella…" I was babbling now, nonsensical, and holding her far, far too tightly. It wouldn't matter now -

And then I heard it through the rush of nothingness in my head.

Her heartbeat.

Far too slow…too weak…but it was there. Bella's heart was still beating.

"Bella! Look at me now! Bella!" My voice was too loud, too hard, calling her back from a path she was halfway down. For a moment there was nothing to indicate she heard me. When her eyes finally moved, sought me out, it brought forward a rush of indescribable, almost painful relief.

She couldn't move, couldn't speak, but she knew I was there. I saw it in the warmth of her eyes.

"Stay with me, Bella. Don't leave. Wherever you go, I will follow."

"Son," Carlisle's voice spoke into my ear and I felt a magnificently weakening rush of relief. He was here, they were all here. I could hear the rest of our family rushing in through the trees, their thoughts horrified at the sight before them. Immediately the relief was gone as I saw Bella again through their eyes. Her hold on life was precarious at best.

"Carlisle…" I begged, trying to force myself to release my grip on Bella's limp body so he could work on her.

"No," Carlisle shook his head. His sorrowful golden eyes held a message I could not – did not want – to comprehend. _I can't help her now. You have to do it, Edward._

I stared down at Bella. She struggled to keep her eyes open but it was a losing battle. Even as I watched, her gaze clouded over.

"Edward!" Alice screamed next to me. She grabbed my shoulder and shook frantically. _What are you waiting for? _

Everything in my being was screaming along with her but there was still that part, that minute but powerful part, raging at me that I would be robbing Bella of the last bit of her that she had left…her soul. I stared desperately at Alice, begging silently for a piece of the future, a magical sign that I was doing the right thing.

No comfort came from my sister's thoughts, as raging as a storm tossed sea. She grabbed me again, around the collar this time, her face twisted with fury and terror. _DO IT NOW!_

I didn't need to make sense of the future she was seeing now. I could imagine it myself, perfectly. I could see the mourners, could see Chief Swan's grief stricken face, could see Bella's white casket being laid to rest in the soggy Forks ground. I could see the universe, stretching on endlessly, years and decades and centuries of pointless living. An empty existence, without rhyme or reason.

I could not bear it.

There was no more time to be gentle. No more time at all. I picked Bella up, holding her close to my chest, flipping her lank, blood soaked hair away from her ravaged throat. Her eyes rolled back in her head, unseeing. She would feel nothing…at least for now.

And then, finding a tender spot right above her collarbone where the flesh remained whole, I bit.

Bella flinched in my arms, the instinct for self preservation that I'd often feared that she lacked kicking in at this inopportune moment. Her struggles were brief; she was far too weak to muster up a real fight. She went limp in my arms, and I reared back in alarm. It was only the reassuring pressure of Carlisle's hands on my back that gave me the courage to try again.

It seemed an eternity ago that I had been in danger of being overcome by the taste of Bella's blood. It was bitter gall now in my mouth, only a reminder of what I stood to lose.

My goal was to inject venom, not take what little blood was left. As quickly as I could, I stopped and sealed the wound. I didn't want to do it again, afraid the shock and pain would be too much for her, but her head still hung back limply. The place where I bit had healed somewhat but her throat wound was still horrific.

Carlisle touched my shoulder. "Again," he urged. _We have nothing to lose now._

So I bent again. To kill her. To save her.

* * *

"Edward," My voice was a near soundless sob as I struggled up on my hands and knees. I couldn't quite believe that he was really here, that I wasn't imagining him.

At my strangled croak, Edward looked up and briefly met my eyes. The complete terror in his face was my anchor back to reality. If this was just a daydream, he would be calm and assured in his ability to save her, the knight on the white horse I'd desperately imagined. Instead his gaze was wild, panicked, leaving me trembling all over again.

Yet…she was alive! How was it possible? I'd watched her die.

The world was spinning around me again and I swayed. Distantly, I was aware that I was about to pass out for the first time in my life.

"Elisa!" Rosalie's voice called me back from the haze that was trying to overtake me. I blinked and she was before me. All around me blurred shapes were solidifying…Carlisle and Alice were crouched down next to Bella. Emmett and Jasper were standing by the fountain, staring at Dax's remains. Esme and Rosalie were next to me, their whisper light touch all over me, looking into my eyes, examining my small wounds, parting my hair to look at my scalp.

"Who did this, Elisa?" Emmett demanded, his gaze on me now. It took a few seconds to focus on what he was asking me. I was too busy staring at Bella, or what little I could see of her now that she was surrounded. Edward was kneeling over her but I couldn't see –

"Elisa!" Rosalie's impatient voice reminded me that they were waiting on an answer.

"Irina," The name came out a garbled whisper.

Emmett, Esme, and Rosalie all wore identical expressions of stunned disbelief at my words.

"No," Rosalie shook her head. "You've never met Irina. You must be mistaken. It couldn't have been – "

"It was," Jasper's voice was deliberate, yet pained. "Alice saw her."

Esme was shaking her head. "I don't believe that. Irina would never be a part of this! What reason would she have to hurt Bella?"

I couldn't stand to listen to them try to reason it out. How could they even carry on a conversation at a time like this? Who cared about Irina when Bella was –

"Bella!" I choked and Esme's attention snapped back at me. I struggled to push my way past her but she caught me by the waist. The place where Bella had lain was empty. "Where is she?!"

"They've taken her inside," Esme's expression was distraught now, as if it all was finally catching up with her.

Rosalie said something to Esme that I didn't hear, and was at my side in a second, gripping my shoulders. "We're going to get you cleaned up, Elisa." Her voice was strained, and I realized that she was trying to speak and hold her breath at the same time. Bella's blood still soaked the ground and belatedly I realized that all of their eyes were still black. The hunting trip hadn't been productive after all.

I didn't move and Rosalie gave me a gentle shove. She was the only one with me now – the others must have gone to check on Bella. Rosalie turned me towards the house and led me quickly through the lower level to the staircase, her cold hand on my back. I was shaking as I walked, babbling nonsense, no control over my own words.

Rosalie's hand stopped me and she turned to face me. "Elisa, stop it. You have to pull it together now. This is not the time to fall apart."

It felt like my brain was working too slowly…I didn't process her words until her hands gripped my shoulders and my feet left the ground. We were halfway up the staircase before I could blurt out a protest. Rosalie ignored my garbled words and I found myself being stripped off in the bathroom before I could take another breath. She shoved me into the shower before I could really complain. I stood under the spray, shivering violently despite its warmth. The door clicked shut behind her as she left the room.

Underneath the flowery scents of the bathroom came another smell, stronger, mixed with the warm spray. I made the mistake of looking down to see the rivulets of pinkish red blood running down my body and swirling down the drain. Blood – I must have been covered in it. I held out my hands and the water cascaded over them, washing the crimson off the skin. My stomach lurched as I saw the reddish tinge to my fingernails. I turned my hands over to see that blood still filled the insides of my nailbeds. Bella's blood. Just like in my dreams.

My stomach heaved then and I doubled over, retching.

"Elisa!" I heard Rosalie knocking on the door, calling my name. "Are you alright?"

I choked for a minute before I could reply. "Fine." My voice was an unconvincing tremor.

The door opened again as I was rinsing out my mouth. "Hurry, Elisa." Rosalie tapped on the glass shower door. "I'm putting clean clothes on the counter."

I got out of the shower almost immediately but even the simplest tasks like wrapping a towel around my dripping hair or buttoning my jeans seemed to be beyond me. My hands shook so badly I dropped or fumbled with everything I touched. Rosalie must have been right outside the door listening because she was back in seconds, sighing as she tugged clothes over my head, waving away my stammered apology.

"What's happening? How is Bella?" I asked her as she quickly toweled off my hair.

"She's downstairs. Carlisle is taking care of her."

"Can I see – " I started to ask as she nearly dragged me out of the bathroom.

Esme was waiting just beyond the doorway, holding a black shoulder bag. I recognized the sleeve of one of my own sweaters peeking out of the top, and realized immediately what it meant.

"Where are you taking me? I can't leave, not now!"

"You can't stay here. It's not safe any more, with Bella…" Esme didn't finish.

At the same time that I shrank away from what she was saying, hope revived within me. "So she's changing? She's going to be OK?"

Esme and Rosalie exchanged looks before turning back to me.

Rosalie sighed. "We don't know yet."

Esme threw Rosalie a reproving look. "It's just a matter of time, I'm certain."

I nodded but my mind was back on that bag full of my clothes and what it meant to me. "You're sending me away?" Despite myself, my voice cracked. "Will I ever see any of you again?"

Esme gasped. "Oh, Elisa! That's not what we meant. I'm going with you. We just need to stay away for a few days. As soon as Bella is able, she and Edward will go to Alaska just like they planned, and you can come home. You didn't really think we would just abandon you now, did you?"

I couldn't speak. It was all too much. I was sobbing again as Rosalie and Esme shepherded me outside and into Esme's black SUV. I had wanted to ask to see Bella one last time, but I couldn't stop crying long enough to find my voice. Esme looked even more worried over my hysterical fit, but Rosalie ignored it, picking me up and putting me in the front seat when I didn't move fast enough for her. Esme was instantly in the driver's seat.

Rosalie leaned into my open door. "Call me and let me know where you are," she told Esme. "Emmett and Jasper have gone after Irina. I'm going to try and catch up with them. As soon as there is news I'll be in touch."

With that, she slammed the door closed and was gone, and we were speeding out of the driveway, turning towards town. I craned my neck and stared out the darkened window towards the house until it disappeared from my view.

* * *

She was far too quiet. Too still.

Bella was lying on the bed in the guest suite downstairs, motionless, paler then the sheets she lay on. Alice had cleaned her up the best she could, redressing her in one of Esme's nightgowns.

"She's not healing," I was trying to keep my voice calm as Carlisle checked again underneath the wrappings around her throat that were slowly being stained with blood. "Why isn't it working?" The panic broke through, making my voice crack.

"The venom is keeping her alive," Carlisle assured me. "We can't ask for much more at the moment. It took a while with Esme too. As much blood as she lost, it's a miracle that –" he stopped speaking abruptly but his thoughts gave him away. It was a miracle that she was alive at all.

"You can't guarantee me that it will work, can you? It could go either way." I looked up at him.

Carlisle took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He didn't need to answer. I knew already that the venom couldn't save everyone. If her heart wasn't strong enough to keep beating, to keep it circulating through her system, she was lost.

"Will you be alright with her for a few minutes? I need to try to contact Denali, and I want to call and check on Elisa as well."

"Elisa," I whispered, shamed once again that I had been so short-sighted. "I am so sorry. I didn't think to ask if – "

"She's fine,' Carlisle assured me. "Physically,anyway. Just some scrapes and bruises. Rosalie and Esme are taking care of her."

I nodded, my eyes back on Bella's face.

Once he left, the silence of the room was maddening. Alice had crept onto the windowsill on the other side of Bella's bed. She sat there with her knees folded to her chest and her chin resting on them. Her face was grim.

"Alice,"

I shouldn't ask her, I already knew that, and yet I couldn't stop myself.

She tensed, but didn't look up, refusing to acknowledge me.

"Alice, please. Look again." My whisper was hoarse, pleading. Alice's face stayed carefully blank, but her slight tremor gave me away.

Reluctantly, she met my eyes. "No. I don't want to see it anymore."

"Alice…" I didn't have the words to beg her, but the crack in my voice was enough.

She steeled herself, straightening up, her hands gripping her knees tightly as she searched for Bella's future. She struggled for a moment and then it was there…Bella, strong, ruby eyed, marble skinned. The same tiny bit of vague imagery that used to haunt me so. Now I clung to it; my one beacon of hope.

But it still wasn't set, distinct. Almost as soon as it appeared, it was washed away. Replacing it was the glimpse we had both dreaded seeing. A grave, freshly dug. Mounds of unfairly cheery flowers covering the dirt. The name on the tombstone; Bella Swan Cullen.

"It could still go either way," Alice's voice broke into my despair. Her hands were shaking. She saw me looking and her façade crumbled. "Don't ask me again. Please."

I wanted to tell her I was sorry but I couldn't find the words.

There came a quiet murmur of voices…Rosalie and Carlisle were talking just outside the open door.

"They're gone," Rosalie was telling him, referring, I knew, to Esme and Elisa. "I was planning on trying to catch up with Emmett and Jasper but –"

She broke off to look through the doorway at me before she continued, this time directing her words at me. "I do understand why she has to die. If it was Emmett, lying in there, I'd want Irina dead too. But she's been our friend so long… I just can't help them kill her. I'm sorry, Edward."

The mention of Irina's name had me clenching my fists but I struggled for a calm tone, shaking my head. "I understand completely. I don't blame you. I wish that Emmett and Jasper didn't' have that burden either. I should be the one, but I can't leave Bella now –" I broke off again as I saw the grave in my mind once more.

Carlisle walked in, his smooth skin crossed with rare lines of stress and pain. As soon as he saw me watching his expression smoothed. "I finally got hold of Eleazer and Carmen. They're in South America – they're catching the next plane back. I haven't been able to reach Tanya or Kate and neither have they. I suspect they already know and have gone after Irina themselves."

"It's a bit late for that." My tone held the full weight of my bitterness.

"Edward, we can't hold them responsible for what Irina has done," Carlisle began.

I couldn't bear it, to hear him speak Irina's name. To listen to him defend her sisters, innocent though they may be. Before he could continue I broke in with the first thing I could think of to stop him.

"Sebastian was involved as well."

Carlisle froze before the next words were out of his mouth. As fresh pain crossed his face I immediately regretted dropping the bomb on him like that

He closed his eyes. "You're sure?" he asked finally.

"Yes," Alice answered for me. "I saw him here, with Irina. I don't know who the other one was. He's dead anyway."

"His name was Dax," Rosalie volunteered. We all looked at her in surprise and she tapped the pocket that held her cell phone. "Esme called a few minutes ago. Elisa told her everything. Irina had some insane idea about killing Bella as revenge on the Quilleutes. She thought it would start a war."

Carlisle's calm broke and he uttered an oath under his breath, turning away from us.

I put my head in my hands, stunned by the sheer insanity of it all. "Such a waste," I whispered into my fingers. "All this for Laurent. She would have sacrificed us all for her empty vengeance."

"I don't know how Sebastian could have allowed himself to be involved in this," Carlisle whispered. I looked up to see him shaking his head, his eyes far away.

I felt a surge of renewed hatred when he mentioned Sebastian, and it was only the great love I bore Carlisle, and the desire to not hurt him more, that kept me from retorting. Over the years, I had frankly been bewildered by Carlisle's relationship with Sebastian. The man I considered my immortal father wasn't one to be fooled easily by pretense, and Sebastian's supposed charm was an easily pierced front. Yet Carlisle insisted on seeing the best in him, opening our doors to him again and again, despite my warnings. What I had observed from the time he'd spent with us had only lowered my estimation, but Carlisle held on to his belief in Sebastian's innate goodness with a stunning naiveté that I could not fathom.

It was a belief I did not share. I'd been in Sebastian's mind enough to know that he was out for himself, and there was not a single attachment that he had that he wasn't willing to betray to gain what he wanted. No, I wasn't surprised by his betrayal. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to suffer for it. Even if it took years, I would find him. When I did, I would make sure he died slowly.

I was so lost in thought that I hadn't noticed Carlisle and Rosalie leaving the room.

I leaned over the bed. "Bella? Can you hear me?"

There was no response. No nothing. Tentatively, I touched her face. She had warmed only slightly, and I pulled the comforter up from where it had been hastily tossed aside, tucking it around her.

Alice was huddled back in her corner once more, watching us. Her thoughts were like a black sea under a moonless sky, reflecting my pain back at me, magnifying it. But I couldn't ask her to leave. This waiting would be unbearable without her.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, none of it. We had so many plans…I was supposed to help Bella prepare for her change, make it as safe as it could be. Carlisle and I had plans to make it as easy as possible for her but now it was all in ruins. I took Bella's limp hand and squeezed it between both of mine.

And as I waited, I finally had a moment to think. To try and understand. .

I took my time, sorting through everything I had pushed away for the past terrible hour. The secondhand information from Rosalie, the near delirious images I had gleaned from Elisa's head, the details of Alice's vision I now sorted and sifted through, struggling to put the pieces together and understand.

Most of all, I was tallying, planning.

For someone had to pay for this.

The one called Dax, to my everlasting disappointment, was already dead. And I had read clearly in Emmett and Jasper's mind that they had no intention of bringing Irina back in one piece. They would kill her where they found her and burn the pieces.

Even as I rejoiced in that image, I grieved for the necessity of it. This unknown Dax, from the little I had been able to glean about him, was nothing more than should be expected from the lowest of our kind. A murderous thug for hire, who took his payment in blood. He undoubtedly had only survived as long as he had by virtue of his one gift; strength.

But Irina…there was part of me, that understood Rosalie's disbelief. I also wanted to refuse to accept our betrayal at her hands. From any of our Denali brethren would be difficult to accept, but that it was _Irina_ was unfathomable. Not her – I pictured her now, as I remembered her. The Irina that I knew was warm, loving, almost maternal in nature. And when had I ever known a vampire who loved humans more, with the exception of Carlisle? It had been her compassion for them that had first spurred her sisters to attempt to stop living off of their blood, a nearly impossible feat. There was not a single note in my hundreds of memories of her that explained this.

I understood so much more now. When Tanya had shown up so unexpectedly at my wedding, she hadn't come all that way in a feeble attempt to seduce me away from my bride. I thought back now, remembering her words, and cursed myself for my hindsight. I'd been so blind. Tanya had been terrified. She had been asking for my help, and I hadn't understood. Why hadn't I realized…?

Even as I cursed myself for my ineptitude, I hated Tanya all over again for being too stubborn and proud to ask for help outright. For not doing something, anything, to prevent Irina's descent into madness. I was being unfair, I knew. Yet I still burned to punish her for the same lack of foresight I was guilty of myself.

"Edward!" Alice's gasp jolted me out of my reverie and I was immediately inside her mind.

Another vision shimmered like a reflection in the water…uncertain at first, and the solidifying. Bella, glorious and strong. Immortal.

"Do you see it?" Alice's voice shook.

At first I didn't understand. It wasn't anything we hadn't seen before...and then I realized what she meant.

"It's gone," Alice's voice cracked into a sob. "The other future, the funeral, the grave…Edward, it's _gone_!"

And just as the purest joy I'd ever felt shot through me like a beam of light, Bella reared up from the bed, eyes bulging, her mouth opened in a soundless scream.

* * *

"Bella!" My own scream woke me out of a sleep I didn't remember falling into. I sat up abruptly, gasping and staring around the dark, unfamiliar room in panic. The night sky outside the window told me that quite a bit of time had passed. Where was I? What was happening?

"Elisa?" Out of the darkness, Esme's voice sounded and the second scream that was building in my throat was instantly silenced. She was sitting in an easy chair in the corner, lit by a dim, old fashioned lamp. "It's alright. I'm here.''

"I…where…" My head swam as I struggled out from under the covers and swung my legs over the side of the bed. My whole body felt oddly numb. "Where are we?"

"Don't you remember?" Esme looked worried.

I jumped as the bedroom door swung open and Rosalie appeared, carrying a steaming mug that she sat down on the bedside table. "Drink that," she ordered me as I stared at her. "It's tea. You're feeling a little off from the sedative Esme gave you. It should wear off soon."

"Sedative?" I followed Esme's guilty gaze to a small wicker trash basket beside the bed. An empty vial and a used syringe stared up at me. Any other time I would have been feeling totally betrayed and thrown a huge tantrum, but it barely registered now.

It was slowly coming back to me. Esme had driven us not to a hotel, as I'd assumed she would, but instead to a quasi-campground, an enclave of cabins nestled next to the forest for tourists who wanted to say they had camped out without the uncomfortable camping part. It was closing for the season, but Esme's dazzling smile and the roll of bills she'd pressed into the caretaker's hands had him quickly unlocking one of the more isolated cabins for us.

Once we'd gotten inside, she'd asked me to tell her what had happened. I did my best, but speaking about it brought it all back and I had quickly fallen apart. I didn't remember much after that. She must have dosed me at that point.

As clarity returned, so did the full horror of everything that had happened. I jumped out of the bed, fear returning in waves. "Bella! What's happening? How long has it been? Is she ok now?" I looked at Esme and Rosalie for confirmation. They exchanged looks again like they had earlier.

"She's just fine," Esme's voice was placating. "You've been through enough for one day. Try to stop worrying."

I took a deep breath, shaking all over again. "Really."

Rosalie nodded. "Really."

I drew in a deep, trembling breath, feeling the tears gathering in my eyes once more. To keep from shedding them, I looked around at the rustic wood paneled walls of the small bedroom. It was neat and clean, but the faint smell of wet fur and old fish lingered, a bygone of hunters and campers past. The furnishings were the bare minimum, the wooden table the bed frame and saggy mattress all had seen better days. I was fairly certain the rest of the cabin didn't look any better. All in all, it was not the type of place I imagined Esme and Rosalie willingly choosing to stay.

"I hate hotels,' Esme said in response to my look, smiling more sincerely now. "This is better. We have our own kitchen so I can still cook for you and it's handy for discreet hunting. We won't be here long, regardless."

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, looking out of the window at the darkened sky beyond.

"About eight hours. It's just two in the morning. You should try to get some sleep." Esme looked back at the bed. I gave her a disbelieving look in response. As if I could really sleep anymore.

"What about the others? Have Jasper and Emmett found Irina yet?"

Rosalie's face hardened at the mention of Irina's name. "They haven't called. They'll catch up to her long before she gets to La Push, don't worry about that." Her voice was ice.

"Drink your tea, Elisa," Esme urged, seeming to want to change the subject. Reluctantly, I picked it up and followed Esme into the main room. She nodded her head towards a worn red plaid couch, tossing me a green fringed throw blanket. I curled up on the rough sofa and gratefully pulled it over me to ward off the chill. It didn't seem like the cabin had a heat source other than an ancient looking iron stove in the corner.

There was silence for a moment as I sipped my tea. Rosalie was watching out the window.

I still felt horribly off-center, like I was balancing on a tight rope with no safety net underneath. Nothing felt right, or real. Fiercely, I wished Emmett was with us. I needed him right now and his unshakable optimism. I wanted to feel safe again, a seemingly impossible concept.

But thinking of Emmett brought a fresh wave of alarm.

"What if they don't?" I said suddenly.

Esme turned to look at me, her eyebrows raised.

"What if they don't catch Irina in time?" Abruptly, I was terrified all over again, my voice rising in pitch. Tanya and Kate had gone after her too, and they had the lead. What would stop them from turning on Emmett and Jasper? "What if there's a fight? She's strong and she was totally out of her mind! She killed that other guy so easily - what if she hurts them or maybe she'll double back and – "

Esme flinched, her expression crumpling. Rosalie turned from the window to give me a scathing look. I felt instantly horrible. I'd been so caught up in my own worry and desperate need for reassurance that I hadn't thought about how horrific this was for Esme. She loved Bella like a daughter and to nearly lose her must have been agony. The last thing she or Rosalie needed was for me to make them worry about Jasper and Emmett too.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm just…" I pushed the throw off of me and jumped up, crossing the room to Esme, hesitating for a moment before I reached up and put my arms around her. "It's going to be alright. It has to be." My words were for myself just as much as her.

Esme immediately hugged me back. "Of course it will, Elisa. Of course."

I didn't respond and the false smile didn't linger long on either one of our faces. There were no more words exchanged as we all settled in, gazes darting from the clock to the too silent cell phone.

All that was left to do now was wait.

* * *

Two days. Two days in complete, utter hell.

I didn't know what was worse, when Bella had flailed in my arms silently, unable to give voice to her agony, or when her throat had finally healed and she was able to scream. I did my best to soothe her, holding her hand, wiping the endless tears that streamed down her face. I hummed her lullaby, promised her it would be over soon, talked of our future, and none of it made the least bit of impact. The fevered eyes that stared up at me held no sign of recognition at all. When she still had the strength, she fought me, clawing at me until my shirt was in shreds, cursing at me with words I had never thought would sound from her lips. She screamed for mercy, for death. In the face of her misery, I was helpless.

Yes, if there was a hell for me, this would be it.

On the evening of the second day Alice could bear watching us no longer. When I wouldn't budge from Bella's side she called in reinforcements. Rosalie returned briefly to assist. She and Carlisle had to physically pry me away from the bed, and Alice took my place.

I cursed them myself as Carlisle and Rosalie forced me outside. It wasn't until Carlisle gave into a rare display of anger that I could be reasoned with.

"You're no good to Bella like this, Edward!" The frustration that rang in his words was enough to silence me at last. "I know it's horrible to watch her suffer but you knew this would happen! You cannot afford to fall apart now. Newborns are unstable at best, and you're the one who's going to have to hold Bella together until you can get her safely out of all populated areas. You can't do that half starved and out of your mind with grief!"

He was right, I knew he was, but asking me to stay away from her when she needed me so badly –

"Hunt, Edward." Carlisle saw the protest in my eyes. "We will take care of her until you get back. Please – this is too important to take chances with."

He turned and disappeared back into the house. I nearly defied him and followed, but Carlisle was right. Bella had one more day at most before she woke to her new life. I had to be prepared to help her the best I could, especially on the long journey to Alaska, where she would be exposed to so much temptation. I needed to be as strong as I could be for her.

I was only gone long enough to take down a couple of small deer that had lingered too close to our property. It wasn't enough to sate me but it took the edge off. As my hunger eased, so did some of my mental anguish.

When I returned to the room where we were keeping Bella, I was surprised to see Rosalie still there. She was sitting in my vacated chair, holding Bella's hand.

Alice saw me first. She was back on the windowsill, and she turned her gaze from Rosalie to shrug at me. _Interesting, isn't it?_

I shuffled slightly as I stood in the doorway and Rosalie looked up. Immediately she dropped Bella's hand. "I was just – I thought I'd sit with her a while. She's been quiet since you've gone."

I looked at the sweat pouring down Bella's face, the dark circles under her tortured eyes, and knew that wasn't because her suffering had eased. She was simply too exhausted to keep screaming.

"Edward…" Rosalie's voice was quiet now, thoughtful. She looked at Bella on the bed and I saw her visibly blanch. "I am so sorry it happened like this."

Her sincerity rang through both her words and thoughts. I nodded, grateful for the gesture. "Thank you, Rose."

She smiled faintly at me and got up so I could resume my seat.

"Have you heard from Emmett?" I asked her quietly as she passed me.

Rosalie stiffened as she reached the doorway. "No," she whispered. I heard the worry in her thoughts.

"They're alright," Alice whispered. "I've seen them. They've just had a hard time finding her. Irina plays a good game of cat and mouse."

"Can you see anything else?" I asked her.

Alice shook her head, sighing. "No. I've tried but there's just too much – " she touched her head and didn't finish, frustrated. _It's been hours since I've been able to see them. I'm frightened. Don't let Rose know._

But Rosalie had seen our unspoken communication and guessed what it meant. "I'm going to go back to the cabin," she turned abruptly and left the room, not wanting us to see her worry turn into full blown panic.

"They're fine, Alice," I assured her as I took Bella's hand once more. The words rang with false optimism.

Alice wasn't fooled. She jerked her head in acknowledgment and we fell silent once more, listening to the tick of the clock.

It was nearly an hour before the silence was broken again.

"NO." Alice's voice was a malevolent hiss. I lifted my head to see her face taut with anger. Too late I saw the images in her head and I shot up, knocking the chair over, just as the front door opened.

There was no rationale left in Alice's mind. As the voices sounded, she tried to launch herself out the door with an incensed growl. I barely managed to grab her in time.

"Let me go, Edward!" Alice fought me with an unexpected ferocity and if Carlisle hadn't taken that moment to enter, I would not have been able to keep her in my grasp. Jasper and Emmett were right behind him, but it wasn't their sudden reappearance that was provoking Alice's fury.

As I looked into the faces of the two people that were following my brothers into the room where my dying wife lay, shedding her mortal life like a snake's skin, Alice's fury jumped to me and ignited, became my own.

Jasper already had his hands full with Alice, so it was left to Emmett and Carlisle to grab me as I leapt forward, snarling. Tanya and Kate's faces were dull, haunted. They couldn't even bring themselves to be shocked by the strength of our reactions.

"STOP! Edward! Alice!" Carlisle's voice rang out, laced with all the power he wielded as our father, our teacher. It didn't douse my fury, but the loyalty I bore him was a force in itself. It welded my feet to the ground instantly, even as I seethed.

"How could you bring them here, Carlisle?" Alice's voice was a mere hiss. She was in Jasper's arms now. His hands encircled the small band of her upper arms as much in restraint as comfort.

"They've brought us news." Carlisle was looking at me now, his face grim. "Irina is dead."

"Good," Alice bit off the word. Kate flinched. Tanya, still leaning against the wall, didn't appear to have heard. Her eyes were closed. Slowly, she slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor. Her thoughts were a looped recording, playing over and over in a blackened abyss. _My sister is dead. My sister is dead. My sister is dead. _

"You killed her," I stated quietly, looking at Emmett and Jasper's grim faces. Their minds were a barrage of images rather than words…the smoke, rising from a pit hastily dug deep in the forest, the sounds of Kate's grief, Tanya's desolate expression.

"No," Emmett looked at Tanya. He didn't need to say anything else.

Carlisle's intake of breath was audible. Tanya lifted her head then, and the eyes that met mine were dark, haunted.

"I had to," she whispered. "She wasn't going to stop….I couldn't get through to her. She would have destroyed everything that came across her path. I think that… that it was what she wanted." Tanya stared down at the object she held in her hand. It was an unpleasant jolt to realize it was Irina's necklace, identical to the ones that Kate and Tanya wore. The pain that ravaged her features as she spoke was as familiar to me as if I were looking in the mirror.

The memory of who was responsible for that pain burned away the fragile flame of sympathy I'd been feeling, and my lip curled as I looked at Tanya and Kate. "If that's all you had to tell us, you know where the door is."

"Edward, _please_," Carlisle's face was aghast. Alice hissed. I ignored their censure but then Kate was pushing her way forward to stand in front of me.

"It's not all," her voice was ragged, but forced, as if reading lines from a script. "Edward, we can't even tell you how sorry we are – "

"_Sorry?!_" It was not my voice that rang out. Alice's voice vibrated with fury; her hiss of a moment ago hadn't been for me after all. Abruptly, she jerked herself out of Jasper's grasp; I hadn't even realized he was still restraining her. She was in front of Tanya and Kate immediately, bitter, near hysterical laughter spilling from her lips. "That's funny, coming from you."

"Alice, stop this," Carlisle's voice held a deep note of pain. "What Irina became is a tragedy. No one can be blamed."

Alice ignored him. Her attention was still fixed on Tanya's hollow face. "I saw what you did." Each word was a deliberate, measured accusation.

Tanya had no reaction to Alice's words, her face remaining as lifeless as before. Kate, however, flinched.

The pictures were pouring into my mind now, the pieces that Alice had tried to keep from me as I struggled to save Bella's life. But she had no control now. The barrier broke down and every piece was delivered to me. I saw Elisa on her knees, pleading for Bella's life.

She was pleading with Tanya. Tanya, my friend. Tanya, part of my family.

And Tanya had refused to help them.

"You left them," The words almost didn't want to leave my lips, as if only speaking out them out loud cemented it as truth. "You were _here, _Elisa begged you to save Bella, and you just left her to die."

I wasn't the only person stunned by this revelation. The shock and betrayal marked Carlisle's face too. Emmett's expression was stone fury. I couldn't process Jasper's reaction…he was drowning in a deluge of raw emotion, barely able to keep from going under.

I didn't care why they had done it. I didn't try to understand. All I knew now was fury beyond anything I had ever known. It made my earlier anger towards them seem laughable. This was beyond what I had felt for James, even Victoria. The mantle of wrath fell over me like a cloak. It settled into my veins, into my bones, making all the world fall away, silent and meaningless.

All I saw before me was my prey. Kate would die first. I would break her in half and tear her head from her body. It would destroy Tanya to watch…two sisters in one night. I wanted that, wanted to hear her screams of anguish so badly that I could nearly taste it, as if hate were the sweetest nectar. She'd attack me then…God, I wanted her to attack me. It was just the excuse I needed to lose the last bit of my humanity. I wanted to rip into her and tear out her cold, dead heart, just to see if she actually had one.

The growls and snarls reverberating through the room weren't just coming from me. The threat I posed had finally snapped Tanya out of her apathy. She faced me, crouched as I was, braced for attack. Her teeth were bared. And at my side, Alice's eyes glittered with fury, her thoughts synced perfectly with mine. We'd kill them together.

"Edward…please…"

At first I thought the pathetically croaked sound of my name was my imagination. Like an inconveniently conjured Jiminy Cricket, perched on my shoulder to be the voice of my rapidly disappearing conscience. I tried to block it out, but it sounded again, louder and more desperate this time, rasping into a scream.

"Edward!"

Her voice was the only thing that could recall me and it did, a hook dangling in the depths of my inhumanity to reel me back to shore. I turned and ran back through the bedroom doorway.

Bella had managed to pull herself to a sitting position. I could barely see her eyes; they were so swollen red from the hours of screaming and sobbing.

I tried to gather her close to me but she was fighting me now, still rasping out my name. Her words all ran together. ", _please_…!" Her fingernails dug into the cloth of my shirt, tearing it and scrabbling useless trails across my skin.

A near silent intake of breath had me looking up. Unbelievably, Tanya and Kate had followed the rest of us into the bedroom. Now they stood, eyes fixed on Bella as she shook and gasped.

I clenched my teeth as another wave of fury nearly overtook me, seeing them so close to her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper wince.

"Get out," I nearly growled the words. I closed my eyes to spare myself the sight of them but Kate's voice sounded.

"Edward, there is nothing we can say to change what's already happened. Please believe that we are both so happy to see that Bella is alright."

"Does she look alright to you?" I snapped my head back to stare at them.

"You should go." Carlisle's flat tone didn't mask the heavy censure in his voice as he turned to face the two sisters.

"Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out," Emmett added, his voice granite.

I opened my eyes to see Kate give me one last mournful look, her thoughts laden with worthless, far too late regret, and then she was gone. Tanya turned to follow, stopped, and looked back. Her eyes met Carlisle's before turning to the rest of us.

"I'm sorry. I truly am. But I had to try. She was my sister."

"What about Bella? What about _my_ sister?!" Alice's fragile control snapped. Before anyone else could react, she launched herself at Tanya. Caught by surprise, Tanya screamed, flailing wildly as Alice's fingernails ripped into the skin at her throat.

I jumped up, but I didn't know myself whether it was to stop Alice or to help her. Jasper leapt in front of me, sparing me the decision. He, Emmett, and Carlisle were on Alice instantly, prying her off Tanya.

Alice didn't make it easy. She was a blur of kicking, thrashing limbs, her banshee like screams turning the small room into a madhouse. Tanya lurched upright, her hands around her own throat. Her eyes were shocked, knowing how close she'd come to death herself. She stumbled backwards and was gone as fast as Kate had been.

No one paid any attention to her departure. Jasper was fighting for mental dominance now. It was painful to be in his mind as he summoned up every bit of willpower he'd ever possessed, trying to fight back our culmination of rage and grief. Slowly, the room quieted as his emotional elixir took effect. My entire body felt heavy, almost numb. I nearly fell into the chair besides Bella's bed.

She was still now, under Jasper's spell as well. Her eyes had fallen closed. For one wistful moment I imagined she was sleeping. But her breath came in agonized pants and tears still leaked slowly from beneath her closed eyelids. The hands that twisted the sheet beneath her was white knuckled. The pain would not allow her even this brief respite. It was crushing to be so helpless, to only be able to watch.

_Edward, for God sake's, you're making this nearly impossible for me to keep up. _

Jasper's silent admonition stung me out of my fog. "Sorry," I mumbled, unable to meet his eyes.

"It will be over soon," Carlisle reassured me. His hand dropped onto my shoulder. "Twelve hours maybe, another day at the most. She'll be fine. In a decade she'll barely be able to remember what pain was."

It was an exaggeration, of course. None of us ever forgot the burning days. But he was trying to be comforting and with Jasper in the room, it was easy to be comforted. "Thank you," I whispered.

"Let me go now, Jazz." Alice's voice was weary. I looked to see that he was still holding both of her arms, though she had long ceased struggling.

"No," Jasper shook his head. "I'm taking you hunting. No arguments. You've already gone far too long and it's showing."

Alice was too far under Jasper's influence to be able to muster any anger, but her eyes still flashed stubbornly. "I'm not leaving."

Carlisle sighed. "Alice, just go. You've pushed yourself far enough for the time being."

Her face crumpled slightly and she looked at me, eyes pleading. "But I want to be here when she wakes up."

"Then hurry," I suggested, as unmoving as she had been with me earlier.

Alice sighed in defeat. "Fine. But we're not going far."

Jasper exhaled in relief and dropped her arms. Alice nudged me with her foot as she passed. "I'm taking my cell. We shouldn't go out of range. Call me if there's any change."

"Of course," I reassured her.

"I'm leaving too," Emmett announced as Alice and Jasper disappeared out of the doorway. "I'm going to check on Rose and the others. Give me a heads up when Bella's…better." He paused at her bedside. "Can't wait to see how you turn out, little sister," he murmured softly before he too was gone.

Carlisle was leaning over Bella again, checking her vital signs though I knew this was more from habit and needing something to do than anything else. "Yes, it won't be long now," he said quietly as he straightened up.

"You should hunt too," I murmured as I looked at his too dark eyes. "None of us got a chance to before. We'll be fine here as long as you come back quickly."

Carlisle shook his head firmly. "I want to be close by. Don't worry about me." He smiled faintly. "I'll be in my study if you need me."

With that, he backed out of the room.

A small, tortured cry broke from Bella's lips, calling my attention back to her. Her face was bone white.

"Bella?" Carefully, I took her hand in mine. She whimpered and tried weakly to pull it away, but I held it fast, desperately clinging to the belief that my presence was of some comfort. Quietly, I began to hum her lullaby once more.

And as the hours wore on, the vigil continued.

**--**

Just after midnight, everything changed.

"Bella? My head shot up. I wasn't sure what had so suddenly seized my attention. Maybe it was the sudden quiet…too quiet. I stared at her. Bella was completely still, motionless. Her heartbeat was slow…so slow.

It was happening. _Now_.

Bellas eyes were tightly shut, and she began to struggle, her head whipping from side to side as if fighting to save the mortality that was so rapidly leaving her. As if her own force of will could keep her heart beating. I jumped up from my chair, pulling her up into my arms as I sat down on the bed, cradling her. "It's almost over, love. I am right here."

Bella moaned, her eyes rolling in her head before she squeezed them tightly shut again. Her body began to spasm. She was gasping for breath. The sight was terrifying. It was too familiar; the sight of a human in their death throes. I knew it was necessary but watching her struggle, her pain and confusion, was nearly unbearable. I leaned in again to whisper reassurances as the beat pounding in my ears got slower…slower…

There was a pause. Her heartbeat staggered, stopped, started again. Bella clawed at my arms, fingers digging uselessly. Her eyes pleaded for me to do something, to save her. I could only hold her close and whisper reassurances. "Don't be afraid. You know what this is, Bella…you wanted this…" My reassurances were weak, empty, and they fell on deaf ears, yet I continued to speak them. Maybe the words were only for me after all.

Her arms fell back at her sides. The pauses between beats were longer now. I began to count them down in my head.

_Ten…nine…eight…seven…_

Bella stared up at me blankly. With a jolt I noticed that her eyes were no longer brown but a rapidly brightening maroon.

_Six…five…four…_

Her eyes fell closed. Her body went limp in my arms.

_Three…two…one…_

Full stop.

Bellas body shuddered lightly and then, she was perfectly motionless. Not a particle of her moved, not her chest, not an eyelid, not a finger. Her eyes were closed again. It was like watching a corpse in repose.

"Bella?" I whispered. "Bella, love, it's over now. Open your eyes."

No response. I wondered briefly where Carlisle was, but of course, he would want to give us privacy. He'd be nearby, just in case.

I reached for her hand, lacing our fingers together marveling at the touch. She felt silky smooth now. Not warm and delicate, but marble and silk.

I hadn't expected this, had felt too guilt stricken to ever imagine this moment, so I could have never guessed at the strength of my happiness and relief. Never before had I realized how very much her mortality terrified me. How I counted her every breath and obsessed over her every human frailty, so afraid of how easily she could be taken from me. Now she was safe. She was unbreakable. And she was mine. Forever.

And at the height of my ecstasy, at this glorious, unparalleled moment, my cell phone, carelessly tossed on the bedside table, went off.

_Not now!_ I tried to ignore it, stroking Bella's face. She could hear me now, I was sure of it. "I know it's a lot to take in. I have so much to show you. Don't be afraid."

The ring tone began playing again, over and over, and the vibration shook it to the edge of the table before it fell, clattering noisily to the floor. There could be only one person calling me. Alice. So she wanted to share in this moment. I owed her that much.

I flipped open the phone and put it to my ear. Bella still did not move. "Alice –

Instead of the triumphant, happy sound I'd expected, Alice was nearly screaming into the phone, her voice hysterical. "Edward, you have to stop her before – "

At precisely that moment, Bella opened her eyes.

_**To be continued…**_

**a/n**

Thanks so much for reading. Reviews, as always, keep me going.

Because I cut so much this time around during the writing process, I have a few extras. The scene during the hunting trip where Alice had her vision was fully written out, and if you'd like to read it I've 'hidden' it in one of my Passions stories. (Yes, Passions. Shut up. You're reading TwiFic. You have no room to judge. =P ) It's called the Ex Factor and you can find it in the final chapter titled TEST.

Also, Edward's memory of the last time he saw Irina (in Denali, when he ran away from Bella in Twilight) has been posted as its own one-shot, titled _Weak_.


	19. September's Girl

Evening Falls  
Chapter 19

September's Girl

_The agony swept over her like a wave crashing into the shore and taking a piece of driftwood back with it. It pulled her into its depths and boiled her whole, until every last piece of rational thought was washed away and there was nothing left for her but the screaming._

_After an eternity of burning, the pain began to recede. She thought Death had finally come to pardon her but He only stopped the pounding of her heart and left her there to experience a wholly new torture. _

_It was the scent, and the air was heavy with it. All around her, filling her, a tantalizing, achingly sweet flavor she could almost, but not quite, taste. It was ambrosia dangling just out of her reach, a magical elixir, and only it would bank the rising flames in her throat. _

_The spicy aroma seemed to taunt her as she moved, racing through corridors and smashing through doors in frustration. In some rooms and hallways it was stronger than others, and she quickly realized she could track it. Concentration turned to rage as when each trail led to nothing and the hunger grew stronger, clawing at her insides and demanding satisfaction._

_Another crash, the sound of glass breaking, and she was on the ground outside. The night air swept around her. Immediately, she was distracted by a hundred new fragrances, some bitter and pungent, some sweet, a few mouthwatering, but none of them called to her like the first. A deep breath, then another, and her instincts were ablaze again…there it was, faint, but still a trail she could follow._

_But he was back again, blocking her way, that same voice that had been trying to divert her from her goal. He reached for her now, his voice and his hands restraining, and her earlier rage exploded. It was gratifying to watch him fly away from her but by the time he blew through the wall of her former prison she was already running. _

_And now another face before her, more pleading words, someone else in her way. A quick blow, a distant smashing of trees, and finally, her route was clear._

_Her feet barely seemed to touch the ground as she ran, tasting the air as she did so. It was still there, that maddening scent. It was nearly gone at times, and there were moments where it was swallowed up by other intriguing smells, a few so delicious that she nearly turned off her path to pursue more easily gained fulfillment. But then it would snake past the others again and pull her to it once more._

_Now it was growing stronger, even more so then it had been when she had first awakened to this new world. The source was close, it had to be, she was starving and she would die all over again if she couldn't feed soon. _

_Through the trees it moved and instinctively she slowed, creeping forward…ah, this was what she needed, this part was almost as good as the kill would be, to stalk her prey, to savor the moment…_

_It ran and fell as if it knew what fate awaited it, and its weakness called to her. She could no longer resist, shrieking her need to the sky and then, she moved to strike…_

_

* * *

_

I'd been hovering in the twilight between waking and sleeping again when the distant click of a door had me sitting up abruptly.

The cabin bedroom came into blurry view. "Hello?" I blurted, stupidly, because the room, dimly lit by the oil lamp next to the bed, was clearly empty. Still, sudden anxiety pulled me to my feet and had me stumbling out of the bedroom into the main area of the cabin.

"What's going on? Who's here? Is there news about Bella?" My words were more of a nonsensical babble, abruptly interrupted when I tripped over the phone cord and promptly stumbled into the back of the couch trying to free myself.

"Elisa," Esme's firm hands stopped my whirlwind spiral before I could do real damage. "It's nothing. Rosalie and Emmett just went for a quick hunt, that's all.''

"Oh," I yawned widely, rubbing my eyes. Her words registered abruptly and I dropped my hands. "They're gone? Emmett left?" I couldn't disguise the sudden apprehension in my tone. We'd spent two frantic days not knowing if he and Jasper were alive or dead as they pursued Irina. It had been such a relief to have him back and now he'd gone off again after less than a day. It was hard enough to have the rest of the family scattered under such dire circumstances; couldn't he have stayed in one place for at least a little while?

"They haven't gone far," Esme smiled at me, clearly reading my expression. Her tone turned mock reproachful. "They wanted to be back before you woke up. You've only been asleep for about an hour."

I could only smile guiltily at that, which quickly turned into another enormous yawn. Esme chuckled. "You're exhausted. Go back to bed."

I wanted to protest but Esme's easy smile and relaxed expression quickly turned me against putting any lines back onto her face. It had been such an awful few days for her, almost losing Bella, not knowing what had happened to Jasper and Emmett, and the final blow: the news of Irina's death.

I winced now, remembering. When Emmett had first shown up, my joy and relief at seeing him had only been enhanced by what he had to tell us. As far as I was concerned, the tale of the death of the vampire who'd nearly destroyed our family was a happy refrain to sing to. It was only when I had seen how devastated he was, and watched his pain reflected in Rosalie and Esme's eyes that I understood. They had loved her. No matter what she had done, she would still be mourned.

I shook off the grim memories and turned towards the bedroom, though I was pretty sure I was too awake and edgy to fall back asleep now.

I'd only taken a few steps when my stomach let loose with a freakishly loud and totally humiliating growl. My embarrassment was quickly overshadowed by Esme's delighted face.

"You're hungry! No wonder you can't sleep. It's about time; I was beginning to worry that we were going to have a repeat of those months where you barely picked at your food." She paused. "All we have is the leftover Chinese food from earlier tonight. I can heat it up for you, I suppose."

"That sounds great, Esme," I said, a little started to realize it actually did. Over the past two days Rosalie had brought me food from probably every restaurant within twenty miles but most of it had ended up in the garbage thanks to my lack of appetite. Now suddenly, I felt ravenous.

I followed Esme across the room to the tiny kitchenette. She looked almost gleeful as she threw open the door to the ancient refrigerator. I felt guilty all over again, watching her. She was so happy to be taking care of me and I didn't deserve it. Did it ever occur to her that everything that had happened in the past few days was because of me? That Bella would have never even been in St. John's for Irina to attack if I had not blundered into their lives?

Esme's happy expression began to wither as she pulled the cartons out of the ancient refrigerator. It was almost as if she'd guessed the direction of my thoughts. I tried to plaster a happy expression on my face, prepared to deny everything, and then I realized what was making her mouth turn down. There was a disgusting, rotten fish smell emanating from the open refrigerator door, turning my stomach.

"Good Lord, dozens of people must have stored their catch of the day in here. You'd think at least one of them would have known how to clean it out properly." Esme glared at the fridge as if expecting an apology. She opened a carton and sniffed it cautiously, then sighed. "Well, you won't be eating this, that's for certain. It's all tainted. I'm so sorry, Elisa. I should have known better than to put food in here. It's just hard for me to gauge whether scents that I can detect are apparent to humans too. "

The thought of eating orange chicken that tasted more like ten day old sushi was definitely pretty gross. "It's OK, Esme. I can wait until morning." Of course, just at that moment my traitorous stomach decided to growl even more loudly.

"Don't be silly. You're hungry; you should eat. We can go to the store, or…" Esme looked at the clock on the wall. 12:17 A.M. "Or not…" She tapped her foot on the floor impatiently. "I can't believe I didn't think to stock up. Perhaps there's an all night diner closer to town. Are you up for a drive?"

I shook my head, looking down at my pajamas. The last thing I felt like doing was getting dressed and showing my Irina induced black eye and haphazard hair to the world. "You said Rosalie and Emmett would be back soon. I'd rather wait for them."

Esme nodded reluctantly, still looking dissatisfied. She thought for another moment and brightened. "I know! The caretaker spends all winter here. He must have a well stocked cabin. He's sure to at least have some eggs if nothing else. I'll just pop up there and ask him."

"Mr. Oldridge?" I recalled the caretaker, a sour faced man in his fifties who had nearly slammed the door in our faces when we'd first asked for a cabin. He hadn't even cracked a smile when Esme had handed him a fat roll of bills, though he sure pocketed the money fast enough. "Are you sure you want to wake him up in the middle of the night? You're just going to make him mad and he's like only one solitary winter away from an insanity defense already."

Esme laughed, patting my head. "Don't worry about me. I'll be just fine." She started to rush out the door before I could protest. "I'll be right back. He's just up the road." In a blink of an eye, she was gone.

"Esme, wait!" She'd left her jacket on the coat rack next to the door and Mr. Oldridge was going to think it was awfully odd that she was walking around on a frigid fall night without one. I grabbed it from the hook and ran out the door after her. "Esme!"

Even though I'd run out just seconds after she did, there was no sign of her. "Esme?" I looked towards the road, but it was empty. Oh well. Esme knew how to take care of herself; she'd figure out how to dodge any questions he might ask.

The door was still open, but I didn't feel like going back inside. The crisp, cold night air was refreshing after the stagnant, stale fish smell of the cabin.

I shrugged my arms into Esme's jacket and wandered across the grass several feet away from our cabin, but not so far that I couldn't see the reassuring light spilling from the windows and the door way. There was a fallen log near the road, so firmly embedded in the ground that it was clearly intended to be used for seating. I sat down with a heavy sigh, looking up at the night sky. It was much clearer here then I was used to, so many more stars…the moon was full and round, hanging low over the cabin and lighting up the area around me. It was so quiet here, in the middle of the woods, like the city lights and noise of St. John's was a thousand miles away, though Rosalie had traveled from the cabin to our house and back quickly enough that I knew we couldn't be that far.

It wasn't long before the chill started to seep through my thin pajamas. I stood up reluctantly, knowing I'd better go back inside before Esme caught me and had a fit. A shiver ran through me as I walked, belatedly realizing that the grass was damp with dew, wetting my socks. Hurrying before my feet got completely soaked, I ran back up to the cabin.

Apparently I was in too much of a hurry, because I pulled a Swan as soon as I reached the porch, stumbling on the steps and falling abruptly to my knees.

"Ouch!" I jumped up, assessing the damage. My palms and my knees stung, but from what I could tell in the dim light, I had only scraped off a few layers of skin. I wasn't even bleeding, thankfully. Maybe Esme wouldn't notice.

Just as I limped into the cabin, the peaceful night quiet was rent by an unearthly shriek. I whirled around, gasping, eyes frantically touring the trees. My gasp turned into a scream. Something was racing towards me from the trees, a bright figure moving too fast for me to comprehend. Sebastian…had he found me? Instinct took over and I slammed the door shut, frantically looking for the lock.

I didn't even have time to fumble for the deadbolt. Whatever it was slammed into the door so hard it cracked and buckled inward. I screamed more loudly this time, frantically looking around for another exit. Another enormous crash and the door fell completely in.

Adrenaline and terror were moving me before I could think rationally. Before the door even hit the floor I was running for the kitchen, remembering too late that the window over the sink was far too small for me to squeeze out of. I tried to turn, heading for the bedroom instead.

I didn't make it more than a few steps before he grabbed my hair from behind, using it to slam me to the floor. I was being dragged backwards, towards the door. Strands of hair tore out of my scalp as I fought to get away, desperately reaching for anything to hold onto. My fingers were ripped off the corner of the kitchen doorway before I could get a good grip. The small end table that held the phone toppled over as I slid by, trying to hook my foot around it. The phone crashed to the ground next to me and I frantically grabbed for it but it was already out of my reach. His guttural snarls pounded through my ears, drowning out my own breathless screams.

"Don't, pleaseplease… stop!" I was still screaming when the grip on my hair tightened, abruptly dragging me to my feet. I twisted to face him, frantically hoping there was some way I could still get him to see reason. Esme would be here any second, he wouldn't want to be discovered…

My struggles stopped instantly, stilled by disbelief.

It wasn't Sebastian.

She stood inches away from me and I still could not believe it. Could not accept that she was the one who had smashed in the door to get to me, that it was her who was snarling, teeth bared, poised to rip out my throat.

"Bella?" Her name was a choked plea on my lips.

An intake of breath and the grip on my hair was released. I hit the floor hard and instantly scrabbled backwards. The wall met me and stopped my progress far too soon. All I could do was huddle there, shaking, my scalp throbbing with pain. "Bella?" My voice cracked.

She had backed into the ruined doorway and was standing now, staring at me. The scarlet hue of her eyes terrified me all over again and I shrank back.

"Elisa?" She whispered after a few seconds.

The sound of my name on her lips; the near fearful tone of her voice dissipated my fear just slightly. I was still shaking from head to toe but slowly, I managed to get to my feet, never taking my eyes off of her. "Bella, what happened? Where's Edward?"

"Edward…" she whispered his name like he was a precious memory that was just now coming back to her. "I don't know. I don't remember." She looked so lost, so confused that despite everything I took a step towards her.

"It's OK," I whispered. "He can't be far away."

As I rose and moved forward, Bella seemed to shrink. I realized abruptly that she had moved several feet backward so quickly that I hadn't even seen the movement. It hit me then, all at once, and I froze, my heart thudding staring at her. Bella was here. She was really here! She was alive! After all my hoping and praying, someone up there had listened.

I could feel the tears starting again, the relief washing my terror away. This was Bella, just Bella. She'd lost control for a minute, but she was back now.

I gazed at her in awe for an endless moment and she stared back at me, her blood colored eyes never blinking. I didn't like looking at them. It made her seem – _wrong_. I tried to ignore them, looking at the rest of her face instead, searching for remnants of the person I had known.

She was still beautiful but it was a different, almost unnatural beauty, too perfect, even in her torn, dusty nightgown with her hair tangled. It seemed darker now, her hair, hanging heavy over her shoulders, accentuating the luminous pale of her ivory skin. Her features seemed to have been sharpened by an artist's scalpel, almost a caricature of her old self, like all the imperfections that I'd never even noticed before had been Photoshopped away.

I hadn't realized how close to her I'd gotten before a sudden flash of her white teeth warned me, ripping away my reverie. Alarmed, I reared backwards.

"Don't…move…" she seemed to spit the words out between gritted teeth.

"Bella?" A new voice came out of the darkness behind her. Bella whirled so fast it made me dizzy. Another flash of movement and Esme was on the steps.

"Bella..." she breathed again. For just an instant, she started forward, relief and happiness radiating from her. She froze just as abruptly, taking in the destroyed doorway. Her eyes turned to me, framed over Bella's shoulder and her movements instantly changed, becoming wary and slow.

"Elisa, stay very still," she warned me in a low tone as she crept forward. I couldn't see Bella's face but her body language was changing too. She crouched and I heard the warning growl.

"Bella, you must be very confused. Let me help you," Esme soothed. She held out one hand beseechingly as she continued to move slowly up the steps. With the other, she gestured to me. I hesitated, and over her shoulder she threw me a desperate look. She wanted me to go to her, but Bella was between us.

My heart was pounding all over again as I tried to tiptoe the few steps to the doorway. If I could just get past her while Esme had her distracted…

As I moved, Esme abandoned all caution. I barely saw the blur before she was beside me, pulling me forward. Her voice was an urgent whisper in my ear. "Elisa, I want you to run as fast as you can to Mr. Oldridge's cabin. Get inside and stay there until I – "

I cried out in panic as Esme flew away from me, struck with such force that she flew back out the door and past the steps without ever touching them. She hit the ground so hard that it indented the soft earth. She was on her feet in a second, crouching, her stance defensive. Bella was on the front step now, poised to attack again.

"Bella, think about what you're doing. We're your family," Esme's voice was beseeching.

"NO!" I screamed as Bella leapt off the porch and straight at her. Esme saw her coming and her response was immediate. They met in mid air, colliding together with a sound that I could only equate to a concrete building crumbling in an earthquake. Their figures blurred together and I couldn't see them as they hit the ground and rolled towards the forest, but I could hear them, hear the unearthly screeches, the tearing of cloth, and a terrible stone cracking sound that was too horribly familiar…

I couldn't help it, I ran after them despite the fact that they were already so far away that only the cracking of trees gave me some idea of where they were. "STOP! Please!" I was out of breath, sobbing…somebody had to come, they had to be stopped, they were going to kill each other and it was all because of me…

Another enormous crack from the forest and this time I saw the giant treetop sway in the distance, the moonlight illuminating it. Another snapping sound and it toppled forward. Before it even hit the ground there was another, then another, the far away tree line collapsing like dominos, and falling out of my line of vision, leaving an empty black space behind.

Then there was nothing. It all stopped as suddenly as someone had flipped a switch, the snarling, the screaming, the slamming and ripping of rock was simply gone. I stood there in the clearing, waiting for an endless second, the eerie silence hollow and possibly even more terrifying then the sound of battle. At least then I knew they were still alive…

I turned and ran back for the cabin. _Carlisle Carlisle Carlisle _If I could just get to a phone, he'd know what to do…

She hit me from behind before I'd made it two steps. I flew forward, skidding along the ground, dirt and grass flying in clumps before me before her frigid hands pulled me upwards.

"Bella – " I only managed to gasp her name before she seized me around the throat. I scratched desperately at her obdurate fingers as they tightened around me. She was lifting me again to the tips of my feet before they left the ground entirely. I could feel my toes still skimming the grass but I couldn't reach far enough to put my feet back down. All I could do was dangle, kicking and sputtering helplessly.

Bella's twisted, feral expression filled my vision, her lips drawn up in a perversion of a smile. There was no reason left in her predatory eyes, no hint of the Bella I'd known. I closed my eyes. _Oh God, please let it be quick._

And yet she didn't strike. She remained unmoving, seemingly unaware of my struggles. I didn't understand. Why hadn't she killed me yet? Maybe she was fighting herself, trying to stop.

Not that her indecision was going to do me any good. Her cold, hard fingers were too tight around my throat, slowly cutting off my air supply. While she tried to stop herself from devouring me alive, I was going to strangle to death anyway.

"Bella, please, don't…" Before my air was completely gone, I tried to appeal to her once more, half choking, half sobbing her name. Her eyes locked onto me and I thought I saw a hint of recognition. Then I felt the sting of her fingernails as they broke the skin on my neck, and the light trickle of blood that followed. Her eyes narrowed in reaction and she bared her teeth as savage instinct overtook her once more.

Even as I knew my time was up a strange peace begin to creep over me. The night sky was filling with a radiant kaleidoscope of color, morphing and swirling all around me, then shrinking, my vision narrowing until it looked like I was staring down a long, narrow tunnel that I couldn't see beyond. The fear, the pain, it was all fading, darkness crowding out the color and reaching for me. It was a relief, to know it was taking me before she could, that by the time she struck I'd be beyond feeling. As it pulled me in, I embraced it, ready to let go but something tugged at me, one last thought and one last breath to accompany it.

"I forgive you," I gasped, not knowing if I'd really spoken out loud or if there was any part of her that could hear me. Later on, when she realized what she had done, when she was torturing herself with the memory, I wanted her to remember my words. I wanted to tell her so much more, that I had no regrets, that if I had it all to do over again I would have still chosen to become a part of her world but the black was surrounding me now.

I was falling. It felt more like floating…a slow, peaceful descent. Just one tiny pinpoint of vision was left and I was dimly aware that someone was crying out my name but they couldn't call me back now. The ground rushing up to meet me looked soft and inviting. Before I reached it, I was gone.

* * *

"Come on, Elisa. Breathe!"

The mist of peace that had nearly overtaken me receded abruptly and I was back in my body again. I could feel the chilly ground beneath my lower half, but something hard was supporting my back, lifting me upwards slightly. I couldn't see anything. I could hear the anxious murmur of voices around me but everything was still dark. It took a few seconds to realize that it was because my eyes were still closed. I didn't quite seem to be able to command them to open. I felt so weak, so tired… The blackness still beckoned and part of me – a big part – really wanted to sink back into its soothing oblivion.

But the familiar voice was more urgent now. I struggled to throw off the haze long enough to be able to place it…Carlisle? Where had he come from?

I could feel his cool breath on my face. His icy hand patted my cheek insistently, refusing to let me slip away again.

"Open your eyes, Elisa!"

Carlisle's voice was growing more anxious and I had a sudden horrifying suspicion that he was about to give me mouth to mouth. The potentially epic skeeviness of that scenario had my eyes flying open.

Carlisle's face was a bright glow in the gloom around me. It was hard to focus…his features didn't look quite right to me; something was off – but my eyes were so blurry… he was supporting me up into a sitting position, his face breaking into a relieved smile as I began to cough and gasp, my throat burning, reminding me too much of the desperation for air I'd experienced.

Just as soon as his smile had appeared it was gone, replaced with barely suppressed emotion that was startling to see on his usually serene features.

"Elisa," he breathed urgently, "Where is Esme?"

I flinched at his question, painful realization coming back to me. As he took in my expression, a flicker of sheer agony flashed in his eyes.

"I'm here!" The husky cry made us both jump. Carlisle's head snapped around and we were both staring at the luminous figure emerging from the trees.

I couldn't see Esme clearly, but I knew something was very wrong. She hobbled forward, her stilted gait slow and hesitant. Carlisle's arm was still around my back, helping me sit up, and his fingers tightened convulsively on my arm. I knew he wanted to run to her.

"Go," I urged, pulling away from his support and struggling to my feet.

He was in front of Esme before the word had completely left my lips. "Esme!" His voice was gruff, so unlike his usual tone as he stared down at her, and then they were kissing, so passionately that even though I couldn't see them well I still had to look away.

"I'm fine," Esme's voice was reassuring as they parted, and deliberately loud enough for me to hear. I couldn't see Carlisle's expression well enough to verify that but I had my doubts regardless.

"Where's Bella?" Esme's voice changed from appeasing to alarmed, a reaction I instantly mirrored. I couldn't believe I'd almost forgotten about Bella. Apprehension filled me once more as we both looked around.

"She's still here. Look," It was Carlisle's turn to be mollifying.

I didn't get a chance to even see the direction they were turning in before Esme made an anxious noise. Carlisle immediately lifted her off her feet and they were back by my side. She pulled me next to her, her arm a protective shield around my shoulders.

Esme's safeguarding stance did nothing to lessen my feeling of being a rabbit in a snare as I finally saw her. Bella was across the clearing from us, almost swallowed up by the vast foliage around her. She was poised with one foot barely touching the ground, her body twisted away from us, as if ready for flight at any second. Despite the fact that she wasn't looking at me I had to fight the urge to hide.

I didn't realize at first what was keeping her attention so firmly diverted from us. It wasn't until I heard Edward speak that I realized he was there. He stood several feet away from her, his hands held upwards in the manner of surrender.

"It's alright, Bella," His voice was gentle, barely audible to me. Cautiously, he took one step towards her.

Bella immediately reared back. I jumped, startled by her sudden movement. Instantly, her head snapped towards me and I shrank into Esme, my breath coming in short, panicked pants.

Esme's arm tightened around my shoulder and Carlisle moved so that I was between them. "I think she's under control for the moment," he murmured softly.

If I hadn't been so scared I would have scoffed at that highly optimistic notion. But Bella had made no movement towards me. It must have been growing closer to dawn, because I could see far more clearly. The tortured expression on her face was obvious even from this distance.

Her eyes turned from me back to Edward but her expression didn't change. She was staring at him like he was something that had crawled out of a nightmare.

"We're all alright. There's no lasting damage," he was telling her now. "Look at Elisa. She's completely fine."

I had to smother my indignant gasp at that. Had Edward even looked at me? No, of course not. His eyes were for one person only, and I couldn't help the surge of resentment, especially as I didn't exactly feel 'fine' at the moment. His lack of concern was galling. I was only the one Bella had nearly killed, after all, but apparently the worst thing about my second untimely death was the detrimental effect it would have had on Bella's delicate psyche.

Carlisle and Esme looked on anxiously as they watched Edward slowly inch closer to her. She backed away again and I held my breath for a moment, certain she was about to disappear. But she held her ground, though her gaze was wary.

Over his shoulder Edward finally looked at me. His face was pleading and despite my hurt feelings, it tugged at my heartstrings. She was going to slip away from him at any moment if someone didn't do something.

I took a deep breath and fervently hoped that he wasn't about to get me nearly killed again_. _

"Bella, look, he's right. You barely hurt me," I spoke shakily, trying to disguise my nervousness even as Carlisle's hand dropped to my shoulder and tightened on me in warning.

As if punishing me for the lie, my throat ached enormously as I talked and my scalp throbbed more then ever. I had to resist the urge to feel it for bald patches. I kept going anyway. "Everyone's al-"

I looked at the others again as I spoke and my words abruptly cut off in a gasp. I could see their pale, ghostly figures much more clearly and there was something – wrong. I saw now why Carlisle had looked so odd to me earlier; what Esme had been trying so hard to downplay. They both had marks…no, _cracks_, running through the bits of exposed skin I could see, even through their faces. The skin had literally cracked open, like a rock that had been split by an axe. Edward had the same injuries; I could see the evidence on his face now as the sky turned grey and the sun tried to force its way through the heavy clouds.

Esme looked the worst. Her face almost seemed lopsided, the cracks much deeper than the others. In the crevices that lined her skin I could see a clear liquid oozing out, like blood would drip from an injured human. Her clothes were nearly in tatters and beneath the shredded material I could see the angles of her body that jutted awkwardly. One leg seemed to dangle at an unnatural angle. It took me a beat to realize it was turned in the socket, her foot facing the wrong way.

I had to bite my tongue hard to keep from screaming, but even so, I couldn't help the sobs. I pressed my hand against my mouth, trying to keep them from sounding, but it did no good.

"It looks much worse than it is. We will heal, Elisa," Esme's words were directed at me, but her eyes were on Bella.

Bella looked sickened. Her whole body was trembling as she stared from face to face. Edward moved, his figure blurring for a second before he was in front of her.

I couldn't see his expression or hear what he was saying to her, but something changed in her face. She looked over his shoulder at us all once more, and her whole frame went limp in his arms. "Take me away from here, Edward."

Edward turned then, looking back at Carlisle and Esme with an expression nearly identical to hers. Carlisle nodded to him. Edward turned to me then, looking at me for a long moment. I struggled to understand the regret in his black eyes.

Just like that, they were gone.

I blinked, standing there, waiting. The seconds ticked by and nothing filled the silence.

"Esme?" I choked. Her hand lifted to stroke my hair.

"They're not coming back, are they?" I whispered.

Esme's eyes were sorrowful. It was answer enough. I couldn't say anything else. All I could do was bury my face in the collar of her ruined shirt, trying to hide the tears.

"You're safe now, Elisa," she crooned into my hair, her fingers lightly stroking my head.

"I know," I sobbed. "But I didn't get to say goodbye."

**A/N: I know, I know. It's been way too long. I wish I had been able to update sooner, and I could get the violins playing in the background while I tell you all the reasons why I didn't, but I'd rather save the angst for the story. I just want Evening Falls readers to know that despite what it may have seemed like, I am not giving up on this story and there is far more to come.**

**Annnnd…this chapter is only about half of what I have written. Another chapter is just about ready! Bella's segment is coming up right behind this one. I want to say that it will be out tomorrow but I constantly underestimate the editing I need to do so let's say Friday. **

**I really missed this and am thrilled to be back. It will be even more thrilling if I still have readers left. I have so much gratitude towards all of you who have read and reviewed for me in the past. I can't even count the times I have gone back and read your feedback when I was feeling low and like I couldn't even try to write any more. **

**Thank you all so much.**


	20. Bella

isclaimer: Twilight and all associated characters are not mine...don't sue me...blah blah blah.

Oh, and Evening Falls is a teen rated fic. We're not going hardcore here but it does contain violence, adultish situations, and moping. Lots and lots of moping.

This chapter is dedicated to Navirae. Thank you for all the late night timed writes and making sure I got this out.

And also thanks to Amy, who continues to inspire me. Moar Alice, dammit.

Evening Falls

Chapter 20

Bella

Glorious, strong, immortal…

When I was still human, those were the words that came to me when I tried to imagine my new life.

Now different words repeated in my head, over and over, an endless loop with no off switch.

Monster.

Predator.

Beast.

How had it gone so wrong? How could I have been so arrogant to think I would be immune to the bloodlust? How could I have even imagined that I would be strong enough to resist?

The forest around me was in a constant state of transformation. Small animals streaked by in panic only to blunder across my path again. Trees rose up to meet me and then fell away. Birds shrieked, wings frantically pummeling the air and whirled around just to reappear. Ferns crumpled underneath my feet only to grow upwards and be trampled once more.

At least that is what it seemed like, like I was standing still and everything else was moving around me. This couldn't be running. Running required effort and air. It stole energy and cramped my muscles.

This felt like nothing, there wasn't any effort behind it at all. It was wildly frustrating. I had too much energy, too much power, and nothing to funnel it into. What was left now to rein me in? What could exhaust me enough that I wouldn't still burn for the blood, that I wouldn't still want to turn around and go back?

But he was with me. I felt shamed then, that I'd almost forgotten. Every step, every breath, every time a new and pungent blast of heat and blood pulled at me, he was my anchor. It was the feel of his smooth hand in mine, the light pressure of his fingers that kept me in one piece. He was a living memory of who I had once been. Who I still wanted to be.

How far had we gone, how long had my surroundings swelled, shrank, and bloomed again before he finally stopped me? It didn't feel far enough. How long did one have to go before they could outrun themselves?

"Bella," the sound of my name on Edward's lips was a thousand wind chimes ringing at once. "It's safe here. We can hunt now."

Hunt? Hunger and panic mingled together at his words, threatening to overwhelm me. I couldn't hunt, I couldn't think of feeding, not after –

"Bella?" The haze was building around me, swallowing me whole, the hunger pouring once more into every cell of my body to become my only reality. His voice was a thin thread connecting me to the last shred of my humanity.

"This will make it easier, I promise," Edward's words seemed to come at me from a long distance away though he was standing right next to me. His hand was pulling at me now, leading me. I thought perhaps I should resist but I was afraid to let go of him, afraid of what I would do if I did.

He stopped again too soon. Frustration forced a growl from my throat, and he made a reassuring noise in response. To my horror, he dropped my hand. No no no no…but then he was speaking again, and the sound of his voice was almost as good, a lifeline. "Look,' he urged, and I tried to focus on what he was saying. "There."

I released the breath I had not realized I had been holding and immediately the scent filled me, hot, savory, wild… It enfolded me, pulled at me and I had to find it.

Through the strand of trees I saw and smelled her at the same time. The doe lifted her head from where she had been grazing, her enormous black eyes fixed on us for the merest fraction of time before she bolted.

I was after her just as fast. She tore through the thicket like a streak of lightning and every step she took I shadowed. She leapt and she bounded, she twisted and darted through the maze of trees and foliage in desperation,, but she couldn't shake me.

The chase was exhilarating, nothing like the unsatisfying run of before. It thundered towards victory, a finish line to cross and a reward to claim. Even as my hunger peaked, I deliberately allowed her to escape me time after time, drawing out the anticipation. I gloried in her every panicked breath, letting myself get close enough to brush against her with the lightest of touches before deliberately slowing long enough for her to jump away again.

But my fragile self control could only allow the game to continue for so long. The doe stumbled over a fallen log, injuring her leg. Still she refused to give up, limping back to her feet. Her breath came in agonized pants, her flank quivering and dotted with sweat. I closed in on her, savoring her scent, the fear making her pumping blood even sweeter.

The rush of satisfaction as I closed in on her was indescribable. I was salivating, venom pooling eagerly in my mouth, and satisfaction was a centimeter away. Her wild flailing was no match for my steel grip.

And then I made the mistake of looking into her eyes.

She stared up at me and I saw myself as she did, reflected in twin black mirrors. My teeth were bared and I was snarling, red eyes aflame.

Monster.

Predator.

Beast.

The doe fell out of my grip and to the ground. She stayed where she had landed, shock and fear immobilizing her trembling form.

I half crawled away from her even as every cell of my new body screamed to go back. It was only when Edward's hands reached for me, pulling me to my feet, that I felt I could maintain any semblance of control.

"Bella, what is it?"

I shook my head wildly. Why was he making me stand here, so close to her, couldn't he see that we had to get away? Couldn't he see that she was innocent, that she didn't deserve this, that if I killed her, I would be more than a monster, that I would become Death itself?

No, he didn't see, because he was urging me forward now, but he couldn't move my immobile form.

"You have to, Bella, you need it," he was nearly begging. The hunger raged again at his words, trying to propel me forward, but I dug my feet in, shaking him off.

"I can't," It was a silent plea as I stared at him. I'll get lost if I do, and I remember how deep that abyss is. I don't know if I'll be able to come back this time…

Edward looked from me to the doe. Resolution hardened his features, his mouth setting into a grim line.

He was next to the doe now, too fast for me to understand what he was about to do. "No, Edward!" I tried to cry out, but it was too late.

The snap of her neck was like the gunshot at the start of a race, signaling to me. I tried to fight it still, forcing myself not to rip the limp body out of his arms, but he ran a knife sharp fingernail across her neck and drops of red immediately appeared like a macabre necklace.

The scent of fresh blood caught me up in its spell and I had no more will left to fight. It called me like a Venus Fly Trap calls to its prey, luring me with the sweet smell. Her still warm body was back in my arms as if I'd called her to me and the trap separating me from my humanity snapped shut.

She was empty all too soon. I pulled at her neck for the last few drops, grunting in disappointment when no more was forthcoming. Sudden anger consumed me, like a flame lit match that goes out as quickly as it ignites, and I threw her away from me.

I backed away into firm hands that turned me around. "Shhh, Bella, it's alright, you're alright…" His voice was nearly crooning and it was only then that I realized I was sobbing.

It wasn't better, not at all, even with my burning hunger somewhat banked. It was all coming back to me, every memory, and it wasn't like human memory, some things dim or easy to shut out. It was all crystalline and vivid, playing in my head as if I were standing next to myself watching it happen all over again; slamming Edward through the front of the house, throwing Carlisle out of my way, and Esme, oh God, what I did to sweet Esme who had loved me like a daughter... I had wanted to tear her apart and all because she had gotten in my way.

And Elisa…I had hunted her the same way I had hunted down the deer and she had meant nothing more to me than a steak on a plate would mean to a human. Elisa, the girl who was like a little sister to me, the one who had looked up to me so much, who still saw the world in shades of black and white where everyone was a good guy or a villain, the one who still believed in princes and princesses and fairy tale endings. Why did I have to be the one to shatter all that for her?

I couldn't stand it anymore, this remembering. I just wanted to sit down, some place quiet, but everything around me was a maelstrom of color, smells and sounds. I could hear it all, the sound of small animals crawling and slithering through the underbrush, the rush of the wind, the beating of wings, the chirps, trilling, screeches, and cries as the creatures of the forest communicated with each other. The more I listened the more was added to the cacophony.

All of it was crowding into my head at once, each new piece of the puzzle screaming for my attention, too many, too much, each new scent and sight and sensation pulling me into different directions and I needed it to stop, just for one minute, make it stop so I could breathe and think.

But it wouldn't, I realized. It would never end. Silence was lost to me forever.

I clapped my hands over my ears but it didn't help in the least, I didn't recognize the feel of my own skin, and Edward was saying my name and the sound of it on his lips was like a discordant symphony, beautiful and horrible at the same time.

I closed my eyes but even the familiarity of the darkness behind my lids was stolen from me. It shimmered with a thousand glimmering facets of color I'd never comprehended, almost alive. Still, it was a vast relief from the chaotic assault the world had rendered on my senses.

That gave me hope. If I could shut some things out, maybe I could shut out others.

It took a massive, near painful effort, but I forced myself to concentrate, just one piece at a time, one sound, one smell, one wisp of air. One by one, I cut them off. I could visualize it now, one door after another slamming shut and locking.

As the dark descended it touched me, its grasp tentative, and I floated away on it, a leaf on the water as shore got further and further away.

Awareness did not come back slowly, as it did to humans after a long sleep or a particularly interesting daydream. No, it happened all at once, like a light coming on and flooding a pitch black room.

I was perfectly aware of everything around me. My eyes were still closed and there was no rush to open them, not with so much newness to take in already. I was still trying to grasp this new awareness and not let it overwhelm me. It was almost bewildering to come to the conclusion that there was no danger of that. When I thought that I shut down, locked myself away, I'd really been processing, taking in every new bit of information and examining it with my new mind.

I could feel myself...my body felt granite hard, and yet ridiculously light at the same time and it rippled with so many different sensations I couldn't even name them all. I felt everything...every strand of hair on my head, the weight of my closed eyelids, every single wisp of air that touched me.

I felt him. I felt his hard arm around me, embracing me, I felt his body against mine, I experienced each breath that came out of him as it was my own. Just taking in his nearness was riveting and it was enough just to be near him, just to breathe him in.

Even as I reveled in his nearness, Edward seemed to realize that something had changed.

"Bella?" I heard him whisper. No, it wasn't even a whisper...it was one of those silent movements of his lips that I could never hear before, but now his voice, like everything else, was so much clearer, so much stronger, full of a melody unfathomable to my former self.

I opened my eyes then and the world surged in. I was a bit surprised to find that it was night. Not night as I had known it before; the loss of the sun merely changed the colors of my surroundings instead of hiding it. Everything was translucent and bright, fascinating, and I didn't remember to answer Edward until he moved forward.

As soon as he filled my sight the rest of the universe fell away and I could only look at him. His black eyes, the sheen of his skin, the perfect ski slope shape of his nose, the perplexed curve of his lips, all of his previously unseen shades and nuances were entrancing. It was only the faintest of lines breaking through the beauty that disturbed the spell. I traced one with my eyes, from where it snaked out of his hairline to race down his forehead and curve across his face until it disappeared underneath the collar of his shirt. Regret pierced me sharply at the sight

."Bella, I'm so sorry," The breathed apology was barely more than a sigh, but the words, so close to what I'd been thinking myself, snapped me to attention, shattering my spellbound state.

"What?" My voice came out far louder than I had meant it. "You're sorry?"

Edward was kneeling in front of me now, a fraction of a centimeter away. I waited with bated breath for him to close the distance between us. He didn't. I could not understand the regret in his eyes.

"I shouldn't have done this to you, Bella. I should have let you go in peace, but I wanted you so badly and so I made myself believe that you knew what you were doing, that you really wanted this existence. It was so selfish of me, but I promise you I will make immortality bearable for you if it's the last thing – "

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

He jumped back at my roar. I was startled myself, but vampire emotion didn't seem to work like human emotion and I couldn't bottle it up. Impatience was too close to anger; they bled into each other effortlessly, and propelled me onto my feet.

"Are you sorry you made me a vampire? Is that what you're trying to say? You're sorry you didn't just let me die?"

"No! Well, not sorry, but you… You closed down on me, Bella. You shut me out. This isn't what you wanted, is it? It's not what you thought it would be." He stared at me and I could see how hard he was fighting to keep himself implacable, but there was the tiniest of lines around his mouth.

I was searching for the right words, but I hesitated too long. Indescribable pain burned in his eyes and he turned away. "I've caused you so much pain."

"Edward, no! Listen to me, please!" I wanted to pull him back around to face me but a part of me warned that if I touched him now, I would not be able to put together what I needed to say. "You're right, " I told his obstinate back. "I couldn't have imagined this. It's more than any mortal could even dream of."

I stepped towards him, but he still refused to face me. "I would have died if not for you, more than once. You've saved me for the last time now. You've given me forever. How could you think for a second that I don't want it?"

Slowly he turned. The pain was still in his face but there was a spark of something like hope in his eyes. "But – when you – "'

I shook my head impatiently. "It's not you or any of this – " I gestured at the brilliantly colored world around me, " – that I'm disappointed in. I'm disappointed in myself." I stared downward now, unable to meet his eyes. "I wanted to be strong. I failed you and your family and everything you believe in."

"Bella, what are you talking about?" The genuine astonishment in Edward's face stopped my tirade short. "You were amazing! You have no idea how well you managed to control yourself. If you'd been any other newborn, Elisa would be dead right now, and probably a lot of other people with her."

I winced at that. He noticed, and his voice became gentler. "Bella, I'm not exaggerating to spare your feelings. You're remarkably advanced, so much more so than I could have ever anticipated. We may not have to stay isolated for nearly as long as I'd first anticipated before you're able to integrate with humans once more."

I had serious doubts about that, especially considering how the mere memory of the scent of Elisa's blood was making my mouth water.

"Don't do that," I shook my head. "Don't act like it's no big deal. I was completely out of control. I attacked you!" I couldn't suppress my unhappiness, no matter how hard I tried. How could I have been so weak? After all, I'd known what I was in for, right? I had advance knowledge that so many others didn't but in the end, it didn't matter. It was like my worst fears were true – what if I really wasn't strong enough for this life?

"Bella!" Too late I realized I'd slipped away into my own thoughts. I don't know how long I'd been unresponsive, but Edward was shaking me lightly, his eyes alarmed. I realized immediately that he thought I was losing my grip again, like I had earlier.

I smiled shakily at him, and his breath left him abruptly in a relieved sigh. He touched my face lightly and I shivered at the sensation, but he must have misunderstood the gesture, because to my disappointment he immediately dropped his hands. "Please, listen to me. You couldn't have been prepared. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Carlisle and I had so many plans. We were going to get you to our house in Alaska, far away from any humans, we were going to take our time and make sure you were ready, try to control the pain…" His eyes turned far away and he wasn't really talking to me anymore as much as remembering. "I should have never left you alone. It was the stupidest – why wasn't I more careful? I wanted you to cross over peacefully and instead your change came about under the worst of circumstances because I was foolish enough to overlook – "

"Edward!" I broke into his diatribe, putting my hands on either side of his face. The sensation of his skin underneath my palms was so distracting that I lost my train of thought and had to look away from the endless depths of his ebony eyes to collect them again.

"Let's make a bargain," I suggested when I'd finally collected myself again. "I'll try to stop beating myself up over what I did and you agree, for the sake of my flimsy newborn self-control, to stop saying stupid stuff about regrets."

I put a finger to his lips when he started to speak. "We're going in circles around the same thing, over and over. Can't we just – stop? Neither one of us can change the past." I dropped my hands down to his and laced our fingers together.

He smiled then but it was still pained. I sighed, moving closer to him, keeping our fingers still intact. "Do you remember all the things you said to me while I was changing? About us, about our future, how it would be when it was all over?"

I was instantly sorry I'd mentioned my change. An expression of pure agony flashed on his features. I was about to back track when it dissolved into a look of surprise. "You…remember? You heard me? But you were in agony – "

"I don't remember that part," I shook my head.

Disbelief shadowed his face and I hurried to explain. "I don't mean that literally. I do remember it; I remember the pain but it's…it's like a faded, grey snapshot. Your voice, on the other hand…it was the only thing that kept me sane. I don't think I would have made it through if you hadn't been then. You gave me a reason to wake up again."

He still looked as though he didn't quite believe me. I couldn't help but wince, knowing why. "I remember everything I said to you too," I admitted, chagrin spiraling within me. "I screamed at you. I cursed you. I asked you to kill me."'

"Of course you did,"' he answered, looking at my downcast expression. "It's perfectly understandable. I did too, during my change. All of us did."

"Then you should know I didn't mean it," I smiled then, neatly trapping him with his own words.

Edward looked taken aback. Then he laughed and I was instantly in his arms. "Oh, Bella,' he whispered. "I love you." He didn't say any more but I understood completely.

"I love you too. We promised each other forever,' I whispered into his neck as he embraced me. "This is it. And maybe I should be sorry, maybe I should spend the next few decades pondering the moral ramifications of what we've done but I can't bring myself to care. This is our happy ending, Edward and maybe it's selfish of me, but that's all I care about now."

"It's not an ending,' his responding whisper was fierce, 'but it certainly is happy."

I sighed contentedly and his arms tightened around me. We stood there for a long moment. It was only when a light rain began to fall that I lifted my head.

"Where are we, by the way?" For the first time, I took in my surroundings. All around me the beauty of the terrain was astonishing. It was surprisingly flat and open, with minimal tree coverage, not like the miles of forest I recalled. The sky seemed endless, alternating between blue and gray and stretching on and on.

"Gros Morne," Edward replied immediately.

My knowledge of Canadian geography wasn't that immense yet. "Where?"

"It's a national park,' Edward explained, 'on the west coast of Newfoundland."

"A park?" Agitation spiked my words, making my voice rise. "As in, a tourist destination? Where people go?"

"I know," Edward sighed. "It's not ideal. I had only planned to take you here to hunt, then move on, but then you – "

He smiled crookedly at me and I forgot to be embarrassed over my mini breakdown. "It's not tourist season anymore, and we're isolated enough to easily avoid trouble, but I'd still rather not linger here. We've chanced it long enough already."

"Yes,' I agreed. "The less time we spend near populated areas, the better." I sighed. "We're still a long way from Alaska."

Edward nodded. The smile that curved his lips now was peaceful, almost lazy. "It will be quite the journey, Bella." I had a feeling he wasn't talking about our trip now. "I have so much to teach you." He straightened up suddenly, apparently preparing to get down to business.

"Do you remember, when we first returned from Italy, and I told you that the Volturi perceive time differently than humans do?"

"Yes," I wondered what he was getting at.

"Well, I really meant us – vampires, I mean, not just the Volturi. Time doesn't limit us in the way it does for humans, so we don't feel it pass the way they do. For example, how long do you think we've been here?"

I looked around, slightly perplexed. "A few hours?"

Edward smiled. "We've been here for nearly two days."

Disbelief churned within me. How could that be?

"You were unresponsive for almost a day," His voice was quieter now.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

His smile brightened again. "Don't be. I just want you to understand how easy it is to lose yourself and come back again only to realize that weeks have gone by. We are quite reliant on human technology to keep us from losing track." He tapped his watch. "It is one of the reasons we attend school and why Carlisle works. It keeps us aware when we are forced to pay attention to the days and the seasons. Of course, it can also make time pass excruciatingly slowly."

School. I frowned at the thought. We were definitely going to have to address some issues down the line. There was no way I wanted to spend my eternity writing papers and dodging horny football players.

Edward laughed at my expression. "We can discuss it later on. There's plenty of time," he promised.

"All the time in the world," I whispered, my voice husky as he pressed his lips to the palm of my hand. A surge of an entirely different kind of hunger was shooting through me. Out of long habit, I fought my reaction to his touch. Instantly though, it occurred to me, with a jolt of unbridled excitement, that I didn't have to restrain myself anymore. I was no longer Breakable Bella. Edward couldn't hurt me with just a touch. There was nothing at all to stop me from throwing myself at him if I wanted to.

I was about to throw a whole lot at him, too, but Edward was too busy completely misinterpreting my expression to notice. "Bella, you're hungry," his voice was suddenly that of a father trying to talk a recalcitrant child into swallowing a spoonful of medicine, "We need to try hunting again."

It wasn't only his accidental rejection that caused my stomach to plummet as he pulled me to my feet. The memory of last night was suddenly all too clear, the crack of the doe's neck as he snapped it, her glassy, glazed over eyes, the smell of death, on me, in me... Sudden panic had me pulling away, but my vampire gestures were so much more unintentionally dramatic than my human ones. I was several feet away from Edward in the space of a second, and he was staring at me, confused and perhaps a trifle alarmed by my reaction.

"Edward, I just don't know if I – " I stopped abruptly. The breeze had picked up as I spoke, and a strange, bestial scent was tickling my nose. The scent was clearly animal – it wasn't nearly as appetizing as the scent of human blood had been and yet it was still potent, teasingly delicious…

"You see?" Edward's touch on my face was briefly distracting. "You're beginning to understand your instincts now. To feed is natural, nothing to be afraid of. Let me show you." He held out his hand.

The hesitation was gone, and I reached out to take it.

The scent changed slightly, becoming more distinct, tantalizing, as adrenaline caused the animal's heart to pump faster, the blood to circulate more quickly. It knew danger was near. The ground vibrated the slightest bit below my feet as it fled.

As one, we began the chase.

"I see Emmett isn't the only one who likes bear," Edward's voice was light, teasing as he looked down at me. We'd come to a stop in an entirely different part of the park. "I wonder what he'll make of the competition."

I sighed contentedly as I leaned against a nearby tree. I felt full for once, the burning quelled at least temporarily. Edward's eyes were golden again as well. He'd fed at my insistence, after I refused to let him hand off his own catch to me. Hunting had been far easier this time around. The bear I'd killed had merely been a bear. I suppose I should have felt a bit guilty about that but I'd eaten meat as a human too and never sobbed over the cows that made up my hamburgers. Was this really so different?

Neither of us felt the need to fill out the quiet. It was enough to be with him, listening with my new ears, and seeing with my new eyes.

"I can smell the water," I realized. And I could hear it too. It was much easier now to separate sounds and differentiate them from each other, and the sounds of waves crashing against a distant shore was quite distinct.

Edward nodded. "We're close to the shore. From here we will have to cross the water."

I looked at him. "We have to swim?" A long ago voice came out of my memory, him telling me the story of how Carlisle had swam the English Channel. Then, the mere idea had seemed so farfetched but now it felt like a perfectly natural suggestion.

"Yes," Edward was looking apologetic, as if he were forcing me to do something greatly uncomfortable, but I was intrigued by the idea. To be in the water with him, to explore the undersea world with no need to breathe… I felt a rush of excitement just imagining it.

"After we come ashore again in Labrador, we'll have to get a vehicle. We still have a very long distance to travel, and being inside a vehicle is the best way to avoid human contact. It will be tricky, trying to keep you away from people and find a car at the same time so you'll need to – "

I had stopped paying attention to his words as he continued. The shapes and movements of his lips as he formed each syllable was just too fascinating.

Belatedly, I realized he had stopped speaking and was waiting for a response from me.

I thought back and was pleased to realize that I could recall his every word even though I hadn't been really listening. I was about to repeat his careful instructions but the patient quirk of his mouth was distracting all over again and the few inches between us was suddenly much too wide a gulf.

"What is it?" His voice was worried all over again. "Should we hunt again? Are you – "

"Edward, please shut up," I murmured as I closed the distance between us. Before he could put voice to the objection I used my own lips to show him a much better use for his.

I was not prepared for his response. Long practice had me prepared for his caution, so it was a shock when he pulled me so tightly to him that it almost hurt, in the best way possible. His mouth moved roughly against mine, needing and exploring in a way that I'd almost been afraid to imagine before. My gasp remained silent when he lifted me off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His responding groan was the sweetest music I'd ever heard.

I could never have imagined this while I was still mortal. It was beyond human comprehension, the way I felt, how my whole being vibrated with a pleasure so fine that it was nearly unbearable. I didn't care if it was dangerous to linger here. it didn't matter to me if the sun came out and lit us up like human shaped disco balls and a busload of tourists came along and took pictures. I would lose my mind if we stopped now.

Wherever his fingers touched me, points of electricity spread, pulsing beneath my skin. I didn't want to rush but I couldn't wait any longer. My fingers were tearing impatiently at his shirt, bringing back memories of our wedding night. Fabric was so much more cooperative now then it had been for me then though; one little tug and it ripped right off of him. I exulted in his breathless laugh. There was a similar ripping sound and the cool, water tinged breeze was whipping across my bare skin. He stopped then, staring at me, and the torn nightgown was snatched out of his hand by the breeze and went sailing past the trees.

Our laughter was abruptly silenced as our lips crashed together again and we sank down onto the ground. It felt as welcoming as the softest feather bed. Every single one of my enhanced senses were filled, with the sight and smell and touch of him and I never wanted it to stop. This had to last forever.

It was a never ceasing thrill to realize it could.

The sky had changed color again when we finally became aware of something beside each other. I was lying in his arms in the shadow of a huge boulder and the sky above us was a surprisingly clear and rapidly lightening midnight blue.

"It's almost dawn," he whispered into my hair.

Dawn of what day? I had no idea. "How long we were…?" I let the question trail off.

"A while," His voice was deeply smug.

I chuckled, then sighed, adjusting myself on his chest so I could better see his face. "I suppose we have to go, don't we?''

It did my heart good to see that he looked just as reluctant. "We've pushed our luck too far already. But we have time," he reminded me, "loads and loads of time."

I marveled at how light his face looked as he spoke, how free of pain and care and worry. He was…happy. In spite of everything, I'd made him happy. I almost missed human tears then. If any occasion was worth shedding them, this was it.

"Thank you," I whispered instead, hoping it was enough. I forced myself to sit up then, before I could give in to my desire to see how much more time we could make pass here in this beautiful place.

He mirrored my action and the sight of his bare skin in the moonlight made me ache with longing. I spoke quickly to distract myself. "I'm sorry about your clothes." The giggle at the end of my words gave away how truly unrepentant I was.

Edward laughed. "I'm sorry about your gown," He sounded equally insincere but suddenly his smirk faded into a look of minor concern.

"What?"

Edward's look changed again, into deep amusement. "It's just that….those were our only clothes."

"Oh," I said, looking down at myself ruefully. "Oops."

I looked back at Edward's perplexed expression as he pondered the problem of our accidental nudity and I couldn't help it. My peals of too loud laughter rang across the landscape. A fraction of a second later, he began to laugh as well.

He stood up, pulling me with him and we began to run, still laughing.

To be continued…

a/n

Wow, what a relief to finally get this chapter out. I hope you all enjoyed it. I'm sorry it was a day late, but when I estimated that it would be out on Friday I didn't realize that everyone in my family was uniting in a grand conspiracy to make sure I didn't have a moment's peace to write. I wish I was kidding. Even the cats were in on it.

I won't be writing for the next week because I promised to give my real life my undivided attention but after that, all systems are go. I am absolutely thrilled to be back into the groove and so, so grateful for all of you that are still continuing to read. Your feedback means the world to me. Thank you again.

Oh, and a heads up: Bella and Edward will not have an extensive POV for the next several chapters, although we might look in on them ahead of time. Right now all is well for them and their lives are a fairly consistent pattern of hunting and sexing. (What? They're newlyweds!) Elisa, on the other hand, has TONS of stuff going on so the story is all hers for a while.


	21. Blue

_a/n_

_This is not at all the chapter I had intended to post, but when the word count crept past 13k I knew it was time to divide it up. Not that I have any real objection to super long chapters, but I've noticed in the past that 1) I burn out quickly when I write and write and never get to the end and 2) some of my favorite scenes get buried when the word count goes over 10k. So I apologize for the delay and also that this chapter will not have the cliffhanger or title that I referenced in the last._

_HOWEVER… another chapter is coming out on. I can say this with confidence because it is already written (yay!) and is only awaiting editing. (UPDATE: I am going to actually say Tuesday, because I didn't think about the plans I had this weekend and I may need the extra day.)  
_

_Thank you again for welcoming me back after my long absence. Your reviews and encouragement have meant a lot to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter._

**Chapter 21: Blue**

Three days after my latest near death experience the typical gray of St. John's was chased away by an unexpected visit from the sun. Its rays lit up the world around me, spilling over the lawns and shorn gardens of the estate. The golden late fall sunshine was somehow more welcoming than it seemed in summer when it scorched and burned. Everything it touched warmed and glowed under its caress.

Except me.

My arms tightened over my chest as I sat on a lounge chair on the carriage house porch, watching the shadows on the grass slowly shrink to nothing as the unwelcome sunshine chased them away. It crept closer and closer to where I sat, but stopped just short of the porch, leaving me in shade as if it knew it was not welcome to go any further.

I think I resented the sunshine mostly for how I felt in comparison to it. The drizzling gray weather had been a much better counterpart for my glum mood. I couldn't hide on a day like this. The more everything and everyone else glowed and sparkled around me, the dimmer I felt in comparison.

I should have been happy, and knowing this just made me feel worse. I'd escaped more than one vampire with no more than surface injuries, which was miraculous in itself. Bella was finally safe, off with Edward enjoying their happily ever after. Or at least that's what I was guessing, because I hadn't heard a peep from them. Apparently there was no cell phone service in happily ever after land, or maybe it was just me they weren't calling.

A nearly imperceptible movement, a blink of an eye perhaps, caught my attention and I turned my head, remembering that I wasn't alone.

Alice, perhaps the only person on the planet who could outstrip me for the gold in the Misery Olympics, was perched on the other lounge chair, knees clasped to her chest, in the same position I'd found her in when I got up this morning. She could have been there all night, as far as I knew. Maybe I should have felt relieved that she no longer seemed to be avoiding me, but she'd have to acknowledge my existence in order to avoid me.

Even now she stared straight ahead, silent, deep lines etched into her face.

A distant shout caught my attention and I looked across the distance to the main house. Emmett was dangling from the eaves, upside down like a giant, sparkly bat, in a position where he could paint even the tightest crevices at the top of the house. It was his voice that I'd heard, and even as I watched him I saw him pointing downward. Following his gaze, I could see his goal: the paintbrush that had apparently fallen from his hand to land three stories below on the grass.

Emmett called out again and I saw Jasper, who was on the ground hanging new shutters at the windows, grin widely and turned away, deliberately ignoring him.

"Oh, come on!" Emmett shouted, but Jasper began to whistle jauntily, paying no attention. Finally Emmett gave up. I gasped as he deliberately lost his grip and then he was falling, twisting in mid air like a gymnast going for the gold. One heart stopping second later, he landed perfectly upright on the ground. I barely resisted the urge to break into applause.

As soon as Emmett reclaimed his paintbrush he threw it at Jasper, but that was a mistake. Jasper snatched it from mid air and was off and running. Emmett bellowed a string of curses and was after him in a flash.

I couldn't help but giggle watching them. "Human or immortal, guys don't really ever change that much, do they?"

My brief lift of spirits was quickly extinguished when Alice didn't respond. She'd been just like this, sullen and uncommunicative, ever since she and Jasper had turned up at the cabin five minutes too late to catch Edward and Bella. I bit my lip, remembering her reaction. I had never seen her fall apart like that before, and I think it scared and unnerved everyone else as much as it did me. She'd been so furious with herself for going to the house first, 'getting it wrong' as she called it. Ever since then, the rest of the family had practically lined up to tell her she was being too hard on herself, but it was like talking to a wall.

As hard I was trying to be understanding, Alice was really starting to get on my nerves. I didn't really get what it was she had to be so upset about. I mean, had anyone smashed down a door to get to her, dragged her around by the hair, tried to strangle her, and then bailed without so much as a 'sorry for the near fatality' ? Nope, didn't think so. Besides, if she wanted to see Bella so badly she could just trot off to Alaska after them without any fear that she'd become dinner, unlike some of us who were slightly more edible. As far as I was concerned, she had absolutely no right to be bogarting my sulk.

My glum reverie was interrupted by an abrupt guffaw of laughter. I turned to see the Alice statue had finally flickered to life. Her eyes were bright as she chuckled.

"Two nude hikers were spotted near Gros Morne,' she said suddenly, and I realized she was laughing in response to something only she could see.

"Um…what?" I turned to her, bewildered. Was this a funny thing I was too blonde to get? Just in case, I let out an unconvincing laugh. If one of us didn't start faking it, emos from around the world would be drawn in by the power of our collective melancholy and arrive in droves to anoint us with black nail polish and lace up boots.

Of course Alice didn't respond to what I thought was a rather stellar effort on my part. She'd had already gone back into her slack jawed, catatonic daze. I wasn't even sure she'd been talking to me in the first place; not once had she looked in my direction.

I hesitated for a moment. Perhaps I should have left well enough alone but she'd given me an opening and I was nothing if not opportunistic. "The new paint job is starting to look pretty good, don't you think?" I indicated the main house across the clearing.

No response. I wasn't sure why I was even bothering. Pure stubbornness, I supposed.

Taking a deep breath, I plunged ahead, determined to pretend that this conversation wasn't completely one-sided.

"Leave it to Esme to use a few broken doors and one Edward shaped hole in the wall as an excuse for an extreme home makeover. I'll bet it's really frustrating for her to have to let everyone else do the work while her leg heals. And who knew how much of an ordeal that was going to be? I mean, I guess I thought Carlisle could just snap it back into place and she'd be good to go. Can you imagine having to stay completely motionless for days at a time in order to heal? Well, I guess _you_ could – ' I shot a furtive look at her unmoving figure - "but still, she must be so bored. Maybe I should go in and put on a DVD for her. I have the first two seasons of Gossip Girl – do you think she'd like…nah, probably not, huh?"

Silence. Alice gave no indication that she had heard a word I said. How long was she going to keep this up? Fine, then. I'd break her eventually. I'd never known anyone who could sit through one of my monologues without at least telling me to shut up at some point.

"Anyway, I really hope the repairs are done soon. It's kinda weird, staying here at the carriage house now that Bella and Edward are gone." I couldn't help the wistful sigh. "Especially since I have to sleep in their bedroom. Not really making the missing them any easier, you know? Also, they probably boinked on that bed. It's gross."

I thought I heard the faintest of snickers at that, but a hopeful sideways glance told me that Alice was still as stonefaced as ever. Damn. She was one tough nut to crack.

"Alice…" I abandoned subtlety in the hopes that if I talked to her directly, politeness would force her to answer. "I –" My mind went suddenly blank and I searched for something to say. "I'm worried about you." The words that fell off my lips weren't what I had meant to let slip at all and immediately I wanted to take them back, worried about how she would react.

Her eyes flickered to me so fast that if I hadn't been staring right at her, I wouldn't have noticed. I held my breath, waiting for more. Seconds rolled by. Nothing. Hello, was I even here?

Frustration erased all caution. Maybe everyone else was content to let her go on this way but I couldn't stand this anymore. I jumped to my feet, ready to call in reinforcements. With any luck, Jasper could hit her up with a mega dose of happy and then we could all go on with our lives.

"JA-mmpf!"

Alice had leapt up so fast that I'd barely been able to draw breath for the first syllable before her hand slammed over my mouth. "Elisa, don't!"

I garbled a protest into her cold hand but her grip merely tightened on me in response. We stood like that for a few seconds, and then she released me suddenly, looking towards the lawn to see if anyone had noticed.

Emmett and Jasper were still just blurs zigzagging around the grass. Alice exhaled a long breath. When she looked back at me, her eyes were pleading.

"Alice…" I kept my voice low in response to the look on her face. "You need him."

She shook her head a little too fast. "I'm sorry. I know I've been – " she didn't finish. "Just…let him be for now. He's had to carry me for so long."

I followed her gaze, watching Jasper and Emmett chase each other all over the place, alternating between cussing each other out and bouts of laughter. I hadn't seen him like this in – well – ever. It reminded me once again of what he'd been like the first day I met him, before I'd moved in and apparently set his emotional radar to permanently pissed off.

I turned back to my lounge chair and flung myself down on it, scowling. I'd keep my mouth shut for her sake, and maybe even a little bit for his too, but I wanted her to be fully aware that I wasn't happy about it.

After a second's hesitation, Alice sat down as well, minus the dramatic flair. Out of the corner of my eye I could see she was finally looking in my direction, but I refused to return her gaze. Nice of her to notice I was alive now that she wanted something from me.

I re-crossed my arms and slumped backwards, stretching my legs out before me and tried to ignore the fact Alice was still staring at me, practically burning a hole in the side of my head. I shut my eyes before I caved, hoping she'd take the hint.

Eventually I heard the slight rustle as she moved. A couple of footsteps and I could feel her standing next to my chair, staring down at me. I turned my head away.

Finally Alice sighed. "I'm going to go see if Emmett and Jasper need any help with the house."

I refused to bite. Let her see what it was like to be ignored. I felt the slightest of breezes as she flitted off but I still didn't open my eyes. My body was nearly sagging into the chaise, and it was becoming more and more apparent how tired I was. Any progress I'd made on the sleeping through the night front had been blown to hell by the events of the past week so it was no wonder I was exhausted. I wasn't quite comfortable enough to fall asleep but it was surprisingly pleasant just to lie there and watch the pictures forming and floating on the back of my eyelids, like seeing shapes in the clouds. I watched faces solidify and then dissolve into sunflowers, whose petals fell off and the stems became wands, which flew through the air leaving trails of sparks, lighting up the red-black until it bled away, dissolving and solidifying again into new shapes, fanciful lanterns and red lined leaves on a blue background. The pattern hardened to form a rectangle barrier all around me, the brightly papered walls of an unfamiliar room.

I stared down at hands that were no longer my own.

_Outside the sitting room window, voices called to each other on the street and the sound of hoofbeats and creaking wheels was near constant. Down the hall, she could hear her mother and sister in the kitchen clanking pans, Cynthia's voice rising in complaints and her mother's quieter, chiding tone. She felt a small twinge of guilt knowing that she should go and offer to help, but she needed this right now, needed the escape and refuge that only her stolen hours in front of her mother's piano could provide. _

_The keys felt cool under her fingers despite the sweltering heat of the day and she allowed herself a moment to just feel the smooth surface before turning her attention to the sheet music in front of her. And then she was playing, her fingers dancing across the keys and the poignant music filled the room. She lost herself in the melody, no longer feeling the effort behind it, not worrying about the notes, just playing._

_The pain was an abrupt, unwelcome visitor. It came unbidden but insistent, an unwelcome but impossible to refuse guest. Her hands flew up from the piano to clutch at the sides of her head. "No, please, please, not now…"_

_She tried with all her might to force it away, shield herself from the onslaught, but the vision was already there, filling her head...she saw her father, standing in an unfamiliar drawing room, raising a glass. His smile was bright, his eyes triumphant. The man across from him grinned as well, and their glasses clanked together. They tossed the liquor down their throats and she could taste it, feel it burning down her own. Her eyes watered._

_The vision cleared then and her sight was her own once more. But this, of course, was only the first act. The crime had been committed; the punishment must always follow._

_She knew to expect it, but it did not make it any easier to bear. Pain seared through her skull like a hammer striking her from inside out. It burned and spread into her eyes. The room swam around her and she swayed in her seat._

_Her stomach rolled violently then and she couldn't stay still any longer. Still clinging to the top of the piano for support, she pulled herself upwards. If she could just make it to her room without anyone seeing her, perhaps she could plead illness and stay in bed for the rest of the evening. They'd suspect, of course, but they'd pretend to believe her. It was easier on all of them that way._

_Too late, she heard the light running steps. The door knob turned and the distraction was too much – gravity lost its precarious hold on her and she fell to her knees just as the door opened._

"_Mary Alice?" Cynthia's voice came from the landing. "Mother wants to know why you're not practicing – " Her sister gasped as she pushed open the door more fully to see her older sister crumpled on the ground. "MOTH-"_

_With a supreme effort, she forced herself from the ground, grabbing her sister and putting her hand over her mouth. "Shhhh,' she whispered, "I'm fine,"_

_Cynthia whirled, shoving her sister's arm off of her. Instantly, her face transformed from concerned to accusing. "Have you…you've been seeing again!"_

"_No!" She tried to protest even as she stumbled backwards and sank once again onto the piano bench, her legs too shaky to hold her upright any longer. _

_Cynthia glared at her. Despite the several years difference in their ages, Cynthia was as tall as she was, and could look her directly in the eyes. "You promised! You swore to us all that it would never happen again!" Her voice was a damning hiss. _

"_I –" The pounding in her head wouldn't let her think of a way to talk herself out of this. Desperately, she tried changing tactics. "Mr. Durmond has offered Father the partnership,' she smiled weakly. "We can afford the silk now that you wanted for your dress. I'll make it for you. You'll be the envy of all of your friends."_

_But Cynthia would not be placated. "You can't possibly know that!" Something wavered in her angry face, and her chin trembled. Her voice began to shake. "You're not supposed to know that, Mary Alice. It's wrong."_

"_I've tried to stop," She hated herself for the easy tears, but she hurt too much to prevent them. "I promise I've tried, but it just keeps coming!" She stretched out a pleading hand to her sister. "I'm certain this is the last time. I'll try harder. Mother and Father don't have to know," she whispered. "Please help me, Cynthia. I need you."_

_For one hopeful breath, she thought Cynthia would waver. Her little sister's cerulean blue eyes, the same as her own, were filling rapidly with tears. Her own fingers twitched, her hand began to rise –_

_And just as suddenly, she dropped it back to her side, her gaze hardening. "I'm telling!" _

"_Cynthia, don't!" _

_But it was too late. Cynthia had disappeared into the hallway. She could hear her feet pounding the floor as she called for their mother._

_All she could do was sink back down on to the floor and wait._

"Elisa!"

I jerked upright, my eyes flying open. Complete disorientation descended and I blinked several times, looking around wildly, trying to make sense of my surroundings. Why was I back on the porch? What had happened to the carpet underneath me, the piano…Cynthia! Where did she go? She was going to tell Mother – I had to stop her!

"Elisa, pay attention!" Rosalie's voice was impatient and I was finally able to focus on her, standing at the foot of the lounge chair. "I came to see if you were hungry."

"What?" I mumbled, realizing that I had jumped to my feet. The ground moved unsteadily beneath me and I swayed with it.

Rosalie stared at me. "What's wrong with you? Are you sick?"

"No - I just – " I rubbed my eyes wildly, trying to orient myself. Everything looked too bright, surreal, and I felt so unsure, not entirely convinced of where I was yet. "I was dreaming…wasn't I?"

"Hmm," Rosalie pursed her lips, giving me the once over. "You definitely need to eat something. Be in the kitchen in five minutes." With that she disappeared back inside.

As soon as she was gone, the panic that had been held at bay exploded within me. I stumbled to my feet and hurried to the door to follow Rosalie inside. The simple act of opening the screen door seemed to be beyond me, and I tried not to hyperventilate as I clawed at the handle, finally wresting it open and stumbling inside.

I still felt disconnected from everything around me, like I was still half in the dream. Blinking rapidly, I tried as hard as I could to focus on the familiar living room in front of me but I could still see the other room, the flowery wallpaper, smell the furniture polish mixed with the cooking scents floating from the kitchen, feel the piano keys under my fingers…

My eyes froze on it then: Edward's piano, crammed into the corner of the tiny living room.

It almost seemed to call to me, and my reluctant feet walked towards it slowly, like a mosquito circling a bug zapper, knowing I was going to regret this in about two seconds but unable to stop myself anyway.

I sat down on the piano bench. There was a piece of sheet music opened in front of me but in my mind's eye, I could see the black typeset title of another piece of music and the notes lingered in front of me, crystal clear and insistent.

I let my fingers drift across the keys. It felt all wrong, this shiny piano with its gleaming white keys, nothing like the one in the dream, but my fingers moved anyway as if guided, pressing keys and the notes flowed together, just a few bars, the melody haunting, poignant.

A deep, nearly painful nostalgia welled up in me.

"That's beautiful, Elisa," Rosalie's surprised voice came from behind me, startling me so much that my fingers pressed down on the keys automatically and a discordant chord chased the music away.

"I didn't mean to scare you," her tone was apologetic now.

I didn't even dare look at her. My fingers were clenched tightly in front of me and I was gritting my teeth so hard I was almost afraid she could hear them scrape together.

A second's pause then her voice sounded again. "I didn't know you could play."

_That's because I can't. _

Even now, I could feel the stolen skill flowing out of my hands, the notes that still floated in my mind rapidly becoming the incomprehensible black marks that they had always been to me. The music that I had just played I would not have been able to repeat.

It took everything in me to keep from hyperventilating. But I couldn't hide the tremors that shook me from head to toe. Something was happening to me; something that had been ongoing for a long while, and I couldn't deny it or pretend anymore.

Why was this happening to me? Why now? Couldn't mind blowing weirdness just take a week off and give me a break for once?

I heard Rosalie move closer.

"Elisa," her voice was worried now and I felt her hand gently clasp my shoulder. "What's going on with you?" Gently, she pushed me over slightly until she could sit down on the bench next to me.

"It's alright," My voice was a hoarse croak. I wanted so badly, more than anything, to throw all this at Rosalie and have her fix it, give me some reasonable explanation that would stop my insides from icing over, but the fear that she'd look at me the way Cynthia had looked at Mary Alice was stronger.

I moistened my lips and settled for a half truth. "I miss Bella and Edward," I whispered. "I feel like – " I didn't know how to finish the sentence.

Rosalie reached out and carefully wiped away a runaway tear that I hadn't realized was trickling down my face. "It's more than that," Her voice was firm.

I turned away from her too knowing gaze but she took my chin in her hand and turned my face back to her. "Elisa, I want you to listen carefully. What happened to Bella wasn't your fault, do you understand?"

I stared at her, startled, but she was already continuing. "You have to understand, it was always going to go wrong. The idea of Edward and Carlisle taking her to Alaska for her change was a nice fantasy, and we all played along with it, but I think all of us knew that it was never going to happen like that. "

"But – " I squared my shoulders, half glad Rosalie had so successfully distracted me, but filled with certainty that she was completely wrong. "Bella wouldn't have been here for Irina to go after if it wasn't for me. She only stayed because she was worried about me. How is that not my fault?"

Rosalie huffed out an exasperated breath. "Elisa, Laurent's death is what made Irina go off the deep end. Those events were set in motion long before you blundered over our horizon," She smiled to soften her words. "If Bella hadn't stayed, Irina just would have found another way to strike at her. After all, I talked to Tanya all the time. I probably would have told her when Edward and Bella left and where they were going, and she wouldn't have thought anything about passing it along. Besides, even if it hadn't been Irina, it would have been something else. I mean, this is _Bella_ we're talking about. She's simply incapable of approaching any milestone without turning it into a major catastrophe."

Despite myself, I couldn't help but smile at that, and Rosalie's expression lightened. "That's better," She brushed a final tear away. "So I don't want to see any more of your ridiculous moping, is that clear? I realize without Edward here to brood all the time, you may feel like you have some big, angst ridden shoes to fill, but really, one guilt stricken drama queen is more than enough." She shot a semi-glare towards the door as if she could see to the grounds beyond.

I returned her smile tentatively. "I guess I am not the only one who's noticed that Alice is…" I trailed off.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, her face tight with sudden annoyance. "Yes, well, she's next on my list. For now, come and eat. I don't cook for just anyone, you know."

Obediently, I followed her into the tiny kitchen, sitting down at the small breakfast nook. There was already a stack of perfectly round pancakes on my plate. She'd even remembered that I liked strawberry syrup instead of maple. "Wow," I said, surprised at how suddenly hungry I was. "Thank you, Rosalie."

Before she could reply, I heard the front door open and footsteps boomed across the room. I tensed automatically but Rosalie was already looking expectantly at the doorway.

Emmett strolled in, grinning at me. "Hey ya, kid," He paused to kiss Rosalie lightly on the cheek before leaning against the counter and looking over at me. "How are you doing?"

Rosalie spoke before I could. "Aren't you supposed to be painting?" She asked him pointedly.

Emmett shrugged. "I'll need to go into town after sunset and pick up some more paintbrushes. I broke the last one over Jasper's head." He shot a wink at me.

Rosalie shook her head at him reproving. "I hope you know you're going to have to be the one to explain to Esme if the house isn't done by the time she gets back."

Emmett snickered, but I barely noticed. "What? When she gets home? What do you mean? Esme's gone?"

Rosalie exchanged a droll look with Emmett. "Your powers of observation are stunning, Elisa. You honestly didn't know she was gone? Have you seen her and Carlisle since you got up this morning?"

I flushed. "Um…no," I admitted, feeling rather stupid. "But I just assumed they were inside the main house or – wait, what about her leg? I know she said it was healed but I thought Carlisle said he didn't want to take her hunting for a few more days."

Emmett and Rosalie exchanged a wary look at that, so quickly that most people wouldn't have noticed but I was used to their tricks by now. "They didn't go hunting, did they?"

There was silence for a moment. I slapped my fork down on the table. "No one ever tells me anything," I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You might as well tell her, Rose. She has as much right to know as any of us." A new voice came from the doorway, and I nearly jumped out of my seat, going cold all over again when I saw Alice in the doorway, Jasper right behind her. I hadn't even heard the door open this time.

Instantly, I tensed, the panic that had only just dissipated rising within me again at Alice's nearness. I tried my best to keep my face calm, determinedly staring at my plate as if I hadn't even noticed their sudden arrival.

But out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper's head turn in my direction. I knew without looking that his eyes were fixed on me, feeling what I was feeling. I had promised to tell him if I had any more strange Alice related occurrences. The thought was almost a relief. At least I had someone to dump this on, someone who might know what to do about it. All I had to do was tip my head the slightest bit in response and he'd know I had something to tell him.

But I didn't. The fear was stronger than the relief for the moment, and the mere thought of talking about it, exploring it, made me tremble all over. For the moment I just needed some time to breathe, to try to process this, to dig out the courage to face it somehow.

"Well, well, look who's deigned to participate in a family discussion," Rosalie's tone was dour as she turned to the newcomers. Jasper and Alice's sudden arrival had unnerved me so much I had nearly forgotten what we were talking about.

Alice returned Rosalie's cool gaze without flinching. Finally, Rosalie sighed heavily and turned back to me.

"Carlisle and Esme caught a flight to Seattle early this morning."

"Seattle?" I was completely confused. "Why? What's in Seattle?"

"Neutral territory," It was Emmett who spoke this time. "They're meeting with the Quileutes, Sam and the tribal elders."

I was glad I had stopped eating, because I would have choked at that moment. _"Why?"_

Rosalie sighed, heading towards the sink where she began running a few dishes under the water. "It's a re-negotiation of the treaty. In light of Irina's plan to cause war between us and the wolves, Carlisle feels we made a mistake in severing our ties with them. He wants us to be able to communicate with each other in case anything like this ever happens again."

With that she turned and jerked opened the dishwasher, shoving in the dishes much harder than necessary. "You don't agree," I offered carefully as she straightened up, glowering.

"No, I don't!" Rosalie stomped across the kitchen and began scrubbing angrily at the already spotless stovetop. "The wolves can take care of themselves. Letting them know where we are just leaves us vulnerable. They can't be trusted. I told Carlisle and Esme this of course, but _no one_," she punctuated each word with such violent scrubbing that I was afraid she might actually puncture the top of the stove, "_ever. listens. to. me!_"

Alice and Jasper were exchanging looks that warred between amusement and wariness as she ranted. Emmett brushed past them and wrapped his arms around Rosalie's waist. "I listen to you, babe," He grinned at her.

Rosalie clearly wasn't in the mood to be mollified. His grin faded as she shot him a murderous look. "Not when there's a dissenting opinion."

"That's not fair," Emmett sounded wounded and I winced to myself, feeling suddenly like an intruder. They'd never fought in front of me before.

As Rosalie looked at Emmett's face, her own softened. "It's just that I'm so tired of everyone brushing off everything I have to say as something self-serving and not to be considered. I'm not saying this because I don't like the wolves. Of course I don't like them. They're revolting. But that's beside the point. Does the phrase 'mortal enemies' mean nothing to anyone else?"

"So we're really going to be back in touch with them?" I broke in impatiently. "Is that what it means?"

"Purely on an emergency basis, if they agree," Rosalie gave me a sharp look. "We won't be socializing with them." Was I imagining it, or was that a veiled warning? "The era of friendly vampire/werewolf relations died when Bella changed, and thank goodness for that. The last thing we need is Jacob Black coming to sniff around you now, trying to recreate what he had with Bella."

I flinched, both from surprise and hurt. How did Rosalie know about me and Jacob? Not that there was really anything to know but clearly, we'd been a topic of conversation. _Edward!_ What had he done, called a family meeting? Was nothing sacred with him?

"For God's sake, Rosalie!" Alice's indignant voice sounded as she straightened up at the counter. I looked up to see the angry look on her face. "We're all used to your snide remarks, but must you unleash them on Elisa as well?"

"I'm not being snide; I'm just speaking the truth," Rosalie snapped back. "And it's not as if she was harboring any delusions otherwise, were you, Elisa?"

The last was directed at me and all four of them turned to look at me. I gulped suddenly, caught in an unexpected spotlight. I shook my head hurriedly. "No, I wasn't – I mean, I knew it was like that for him. I definitely knew that." I nodded more affirmatively this time. Too late, I realized I was playing with the flower charm dangling from my bracelet and I snatched my fingers away before they became an admission of guilt.

"Oh, I picked something up for you this morning, Elisa," Rosalie said and I was relieved at the change of topic. "Let me go get it." She disappeared in a blur, leaving me surprised, but hopeful. Rosalie had gotten me something? Like a present?

When she left, I noticed that Jasper and Alice had gone too, without so much as a goodbye. I was a bit shamed to realize how relieved I felt.

Rosalie reappeared, tossing a stack of papers on the counter, and my hopes flushed themselves down the toilet of life as I realized what they were.

"Homework?" I groaned. She must have gone to the school to pick up the week's worth of assignments I'd missed. Carlisle had called them and told them I'd been in a minor car accident to justify my extended absence.

"Thanks," I added grudgingly, barely able to keep myself from adding an ungrateful _'for nothing!'_

"You'd better spend the day catching up, since you have to go back tomorrow," Rosalie tapped the stack.

I groaned even more loudly at that. "Rosalie, I still don't understand why I have to go back on a Friday. Why can't I just miss the full week and go back on Monday? At least then I won't look like I've been in the boxing ring with Mike Tyson." I pushed my plate away, losing my appetite. As much as I wanted to see Jimmy again, the idea of him seeing me like _this _was excruciatingly embarrassing. I winced, remembering, and touched a tentative hand to my throat, still ringed with purple, finger shaped bruises. At least I could hide those – the same couldn't be said for the marks on my face.

"Your principal called twice yesterday, and again this morning," Rosalie reminded me. "If you don't make an appearance soon, he's going to think your injuries are more severe than we're letting on. I'm sorry, but we have to send you before anyone gets suspicious. Besides, you've already been back to dance class."

"That's different," I grumbled. Rosalie shot me a stern look. I bit back the third groan and settled for some heavy sighing instead.

Emmett studied my disgruntled expression. "Don't worry, Elisa, we'll help you cheat," he stage whispered, indicating the stack of homework before me.

"Really?" I asked hopefully, and then I shot a wary look at Rosalie. To my surprise she was smiling as well. When I caught her eye, she shrugged.

"Just this once," her voice was mock stern. She shuffled through the papers, sorting them into piles and distributing them among the three of us. I was extremely gratified to see that their piles were bigger. "I have to be honest, Elisa…you really never will use most of this after high school."

* * *

That evening, the brief respite in the weather disappeared under a deluge of thick gray clouds and a rapidly strengthening wind. By the time I climbed into bed the storm raging. The sound of rain pelting my window and thunder roaring every few minutes only added to my addled mind and restlessness. Sleep was out of my reach and there was nothing now to distract me, and unwelcome thoughts ran through my head constantly; human Alice with her long hair and blue eyes, an old piano with yellowing keys…

And the way she had fallen, that strange notAlice, with her hands pressed against her head as if it were splitting open. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to suppress the image, but it was immediately replaced with another – I saw myself in the doorway of the library, my hands pressed against my own head in the exact same manner…

With a frustrated groan, I gave up on tossing and turning and sat up wearily, considering whether I should just turn on the light and try reading for a while.

My room was lit up by a sudden flash of lightning and I saw myself reflected in the mirror, wide eyed and white faced. It flashed once more and again my surroundings were lit up in the mirror, my wrought iron bed, the curtains blowing in the wind, the black outline of the figure sitting on my windowsill…

"AAUGH – " My scream had barely sounded when the spectre lifted a admonitory finger to its lips. I snapped my mouth closed, my heart nearly thudded out of my chest even as recognition dawned. I jumped off the bed, hurriedly twisting on the lamp.

"Jasper! You…you…_Edward_! You scared the hell out of me! God, why do you vampires have to be so creepy?"

Jasper's lips twitched and I held up a hand. "Don't answer that." I sat back down on my bed.

As the shock wore off, nervousness stole in and took its place. I watched him with wary eyes. "What do you want?"

Jasper's face was solemn now. "I got the impression earlier that you might have something you need to tell me."

I stared down at the carpet as apprehension surged within me once more. Boy, I really sucked at the subterfuge.

"Yeah," I said finally. "I guess I do." I kept my eyes downward, studying the patterns in my carpet as if memorizing them were vitally important. Jasper waited with unexpected patience.

The minutes ticked by and I could delay no longer. I mustered up every bit of calm I possessed and without preamble; I told him what had happened that morning on the porch. He remained expressionless as I struggled to detail everything I could remember.

When I was finished, he was quiet. Too quiet. I chewed a fingernail nervously, waiting for him to say something.

"You said you were tired when this happened…you closed your eyes?" He finally asked.

"It wasn't a dream," I said immediately. "Believe me, I'd be happier if it was. It was real."

"Like a vision?" Jasper's voice was very controlled.

I shook my head. "No, not – " I remembered suddenly the day Bella was attacked, what had happened right before, the dizzy array of images that had assaulted my brain, how quickly they'd flashed on and off. What had happened earlier today had been nothing like that. "It wasn't a vision. It was more like…a memory. _Alice's_ memory."

Jasper eyed me carefully, seeming to consider the certainty of my tone. "Elisa…" His tone bordered on impatience and he paused for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was gentler. "I understand how it could have seemed real, but – "

"You don't understand!" I broke in, agitated. "Look, there was too much stuff in it that I couldn't have possibly come up with myself! The house…the room…Cynthia…the detail…the smells! Plus I don't know how to play the piano and I did it anyway." I closed my eyes. I could still see the sheet music vividly in front of me. "And that song I was playing…Erik Satie…do I look like someone who has a bunch of classical music in their iPod?"

Jasper's eyes widened. "Erik Satie?" he demanded. He also pronounced it differently than I had. "Gymnopedie?"

I saw again the black print on the sheet of music, still so clear in my mind. I nodded. "That's it."

"It's one of Alice's favorites," Jasper murmured. I couldn't tell if it was poor lighting or not, but he seemed whiter now than he had a second ago.

"Color me completely unsurprised," I snapped. "Does that mean you believe me now?"

Jasper looked like he would have given anything to say no, but slowly, he nodded. "Yes." He looked away, back at the open window. I wondered if he regretted deciding to visit me.

"The girl," He turned back. "Cynthia. You said she turned on Alice? She betrayed her?" His voice was suddenly granite hard, the way I'd heard it so many times in the past, and instinctively, I moved up my bed, further away from him.

"She was just a scared kid," I objected, my voice squeaking slightly. "She couldn't have known what was going to happen."

The cold lines of Jasper's face said that was no excuse, but he didn't reply.

"Jasper," I spoke tentatively. "What's happening?"

Slowly, he shook his head once more. "I don't know what to tell you, Elisa."

I felt suddenly ten degrees colder. Part of me had really hoped that he would have come up with a better explanation, proven to me that I had imagined the whole thing. Even coming down with a slight case of insanity seemed preferable at this point.

"I read a book a long time ago," I began, when he didn't speak again. "I don't remember all the details. It was kind of stupid. But it was about this girl who wanted the talents of other people, and she found a way to kind of…suck the gifts out of them. She drained these other girls and left them these weak, blank shells." My voice became more high pitched. "What if I'm like…some kind of weird psychic vampire, and I'm sucking the life out of Alice? Is that what's wrong with her? _Me_?"

Jasper turned around to look at me. At first, his face was blank but unexpectedly, he chuckled. "Whatever is happening between the two of you, it's not that. You are not sucking the life, abilities, or anything else out of Alice, I promise."

"How do you know?" I crossed my arms stubbornly.

"Because I spend more time with her than you do, and she's hardly a drained shell. Believe me, Alice is just as…energetic as ever."

"Energetic? What do you mean by – oh, Jasper, gross! It was bad enough I had to visualize Bella and Edward's sex life, I don't want yours stuck in my head too!" I glared at him indignantly.

Jasper looked askance at my words. "I didn't mean it like that!"

"Sure, you didn't." I rolled my eyes.

Jasper shot me a scathing look and I moved up my bed again, until I was up against the wall. His eyes darkened.

"Are we going to tell Alice?" I asked tentatively.

He shook his head immediately. "Not now," He ran a hand roughly through his hair and then, seeming to feel I required some sort of explanation, sighed. "This is a bad time for her. She took what happened to Bella personally, as if it were her fault for not seeing it in time. Just give me some time to try and figure out what's happening, and then I'll tell her everything."

"OK," I nodded, relieved to have some one else make the difficult decisions.

"In the meantime…" Jasper paused. "Hold on a moment."

The curtains ruffled slightly, and he was gone. I stared at the empty place where he'd been in astonishment, but I didn't have long to wonder where he'd gone. When vampires said they'd be right back, they really meant it because it was less than a minute before he returned, coming through my door this time.

"Catch." He said flatly and tossed something towards me. I held my hands out more to shield my face from the unknown object than anything else, but he had perfect aim, of course, and it smacked right into my hands.

I looked down to see I was holding a small, bound book. It reminded me of Jimmy's poetry journal a bit, except the quality looked flawless and expensive. I could smell the rich leather and knew immediately it was the real thing. This was not something you could buy for $19.99 at your local bookstore.

Tentatively, I opened it. The gilt edged pages were blank and unlined. I looked back up at him, confused.

"I want you to write it all down," Jasper instructed, indicating the book. "Anything to do with Alice, any strange…dreams, visions, memories…whatever happens. Write it down as soon as it happens and include as many details as you can. Leave the book in your nightstand drawer so I can check it."

"Alright," I shrugged. "I'll start with today's, just so I don't forget anything."

I started to climb off my bed with the journal, intending to go over to my desk but to my surprise Jasper shook his head. "Not tonight. It's late. Don't you have school tomorrow?"

I was surprised that Jasper was so aware of my schedule. "Don't worry about it. It's not like I'm going to be able to sleep any – "

Before I could finish, my words were interrupted by an enormous yawn and his face swam in my vision. I stumbled, unexplained languor numbing my limbs. I was suddenly so exhausted that my eyelids wouldn't stay up and the room around me began to disappear. There was a soft thud as the book fell from my grasp and the last thing I was aware of was my bed rushing up to meet me.

**To Be Continued…**

Your feedback is greatly appreciated! Also, I hope you all missed Jimmy as much as I did, because he's back in a big way in the next chapter.

Also, a long running secret comes out and many questions will finally be answered in the next few chapters.


	22. Intervention

_a/n_

_Apparently, hell is icing over as we speak because I think I actually made my deadline! I very much enjoyed writing this chapter, and hope you all enjoy it as well._

_Oh, and I almost always forget these disclaimers, but Twilight and its related characters are not mine…blah blah…don't sue…blah blah…_

_Also, Elisa's back in school this chapter and so we have teenagers being teenagery, meaning there's some language. There is also some innuendo and discussion of illegal substances._

**Evening Falls **

**Chapter 22**

**Intervention**

I woke up face down in a pool of drool the next morning to find gray light flooding the room from the muted dawn. I was half hanging off the bed, my fingers nearly grazing the carpet, and the alarm clock was shrieking next to me.

Surprisingly, in the two seconds that it took to move over to click off my clock, the last vestiges of sleep left me and I felt surprisingly clear headed, much more so then I had in days, if not weeks. I probably should have been irritated with Jasper for dosing me with the equivalent of a psychic sleeping pill without even asking, but I had to admit, it had been a long time since I'd had such a good night's sleep.

My good mood instantly faded as soon as I caught sight of my self in the free standing mirror next to my dresser and I jumped off the bed and hurried over for a closer look.

My heart sank rapidly as I contemplated the horror that was reflected at me. During the night, evil fairies had apparently descended upon my face and changed all my bruises to the most vibrant, neon shades that existed in the Technicolor rainbow. My black eye was the worst offender; having turned several stomach churning shades of purple and green.

"Rosalie!" I wailed loudly, turning sideways to see if it was just as bad in profile. It was.

Rosalie appeared seconds later at my side as if she'd teleported herself there. She was fully dressed and looked like a model about to sit for a photo shoot, even in her jeans and plum colored sweater. I felt like even more of a troll than I had six seconds earlier.

"What are you carrying on about now, Elisa?"

I turned to face her fully and she flinched. Clearly, no other explanation was needed. "I see," she tilted my head upwards, looking me over carefully.

"Can't you do anything?" I begged. "Cover it up with makeup or something?"

Rosalie shook her head, looking aggrieved. "I'd have to cake it on – it will just draw more attention to it." She brushed my hair back from my face. "This is as bad as it's going to get, I promise. By Monday they'll have faded enough that we can cover what's left easily."

She heaved a sigh and turned towards my closet, swiftly pulling out a hanger. "I looked through your clothes yesterday, trying to find something that would cover up the marks on your neck. This is the best I could do."

The garment she was holding out to me was a cream colored turtleneck. I took it with the smallest sigh I could manage. It was a lovely sweater, obviously top quality but…well, it looked like something my mother would have worn.

I hanced another sideways glance in the mirror, imagining myself with my patterned skin and no neck style and whimpered quietly. Rosalie looked deeply sympathetic. "It's just one day," she reassured me before turning back to the closet. "Let's find you something to wear with it."

We were interrupted by a tap on my cracked door. It opened fully to reveal Alice, clutching the cordless phone from the kitchen.

"It's Esme," she explained, holding it out to me. "She wants to talk to you."

"Thanks," I mumbled, taking it, slightly diverted from my fashion crisis by her appearance. The panic that I had felt yesterday was mostly gone, but it still felt very awkward between us, like I had been caught reading her diary.

I forced myself to stop thinking about her and pay attention to Esme's voice in my ear. She was filled with apologies for not catching the flight back this morning like she and Carlisle originally had planned but apparently the Quileutes had asked for a day to talk amongst themselves. I was dying to ask about Jacob but she didn't mention him and I was too self conscious to bring him up with Rosalie standing right next to me.

After I had reassured her several times that we were all perfectly fine and that everyone was taking very good care of me, I hung up the phone.

To my surprise, Alice was still in my room, holding out a hanger to me with a tentative smile on her face.

"I think this skirt might be a good fit with that sweater," Her voice was very careful, almost nervous.

"Thank you," I said, hardly able to disguise my surprise, but feeling warmed by the gesture as I took the soft gray skirt from her. It had been a long time since Alice had taken an interest in my wardrobe.

Rosalie made a skeptical noise as she scrutinized Alice's choice, but apparently she couldn't find anything to criticize because she remained silent. I looked between the two of them, feeling the sudden chill in the room. Apparently, I had not been the only one who had taken Alice's distant attitude personally, and by the look on Rosalie's face she was not quite so willing to forgive and forget.

"Come on, Elisa," she said, deliberately ignoring Alice, "go get dressed and I'll do something with your hair."

She practically shoved me towards my bathroom but just before I entered, I turned back to Alice, who was hovering near the doorway with the uneasy air of someone who wasn't sure if they should stay or go. "Alice? Do you think maybe you could pick me out a pair of shoes too?"

Her anxious expression dissolved into a much warmer smile. "Of course."

I returned the smile and ducked into the bathroom,

By the time I was ready to go, my hopes were at least partially realized. Rosalie clearly understood how much of a travesty it was that I had to go out in public with a face that resembled a rejected Pucci print. She took extra care with my hair, brushing it until it gleamed, curling it with her own iron, and fastening it back with a pearl inlaid barrette from her own collection. By the time she and Alice were done with me, I was relatively confident that if I wasn't such a Bride of Frankenstein at the moment I might actually look good.

"That's much better," Rosalie was telling me happily as we waited on the porch for Emmett to pull up in the car. "No one will even notice – " she broke off at the look I shot her. "Alright, I'm not going to lie to you. They'll all notice. But at least you have fabulous hair." She winked at me, and I couldn't help but giggle, despite my feeling of impending doom. In less than an hour, I was going to see Jimmy for the first time in over a week, and it would be rather crushing if he shrieked and ran the other way the second he caught sight of me.

A horn honked impatiently and I looked up to see Emmett leaning out the driver's side window of the car. "Haul ass, ladies, it's not like they're going to wait to ring the bell until you get there!"

* * *

"It looks like you're expected, Elisa," Rosalie announced as we pulled into the school parking lot.

I looked out the rain spotted window and my heart, which had been residing somewhere in my shoe for the entire car ride, leapt back into my chest with a near painful jolt. A figure in a blue hoodie was slumped against the light pole that stood sentry at the end of the parking lot, watching us pull in. As we got closer I could see his tell tale blond hair escaping the hood over his head. He stood up as we drove closer, his expression impatient, clearly waiting for me.

However, I wasn't the only one having a reaction to Jimmy's presence. Emmett's normally light hearted face darkened noticeably. "I don't like you hanging out with that kid," he grumbled as he slid the car into the parking space. "Do you have any idea how long his disciplinary record is?"

"Emmett!" I turned scarlet as I realized that he'd made good on his threat to check Jimmy out.

"Probably as long as yours would be if you were a human student in this day and age," Rosalie slapped his arm and I was immensely grateful for her intervention. "Give Elisa a little credit. She knows what she's doing." With that, she climbed out of her seat and pushed the chair back so I could climb out.

Emmett grinned at that and conceded the point with a shrug. I grabbed for my book bag, suddenly desperate to be out of the car before he decided to confront Jimmy and ask him what his intentions were.

"Elisa," Rosalie froze me with a steel look as I started to climb out of the car. She leaned towards me. "You'd _better_ know what you're doing."

I gulped and squeaked an incoherent reply. She raised an eyebrow, apparently satisfied by my slight tremor, then she tilted her head, giving me a final once over. "By the way, I'd lose the sunglasses if I were you."

I touched the frame of my enormous sunglasses self consciously. It had seemed a good idea to grab them when we'd left the house – I was thinking of hiding my gigantic shiner by going incognito but maybe she was right. It was gray and drizzly out and my wanna be movie star look would stick out like a sore thumb.

I forgot all about my sunglasses when I stepped out of the car. Jimmy now was only a foot away, tapping his sneaker on the curb as he waited for me, and I desperately hoped he hadn't heard anything they'd said.

Rosalie and Emmett must have said goodbye at that point, but I barely noticed them pulling away – my attention was focused solely on Jimmy now. He looked even better than I'd remembered, the only boy I'd ever known that could make jeans that grimy look good.

When Jimmy saw me look at him, his face broke into an overwhelmingly bright smile and he rushed forward.

"Elisa!" Abruptly the grin faded. "God, your face – " he stared for a second at the bruises that my massive lenses couldn't conceal, then shook his head as if he'd interrupted himself. "I have been freaking out over you! Nobody in the office would tell me anything, and if it hadn't been for Thornhill giving me updates, I don't know what I would have done. " He ran a hand through his dark blond hair in agitation. "I mean, a car accident – that's gotta be rough, especially after, you know…" He lowered his voice but didn't finish, giving me a significant look.

I actually didn't know what that was supposed to mean…his light blue eyes were extremely distracting, especially with that thrilling concern so obvious within them. "Um…what?"

Jimmy's expression was becoming more and more concerned and suddenly it clicked_. Elisa, wake up and pay attention. He's talking about your family having died in a car accident, you moron._ Of course he would assume I'd been extra traumatized by this latest car related incident, and here I was, ready to compose sonnets about his eye color. This was the time to put on a good show to back up our cover story and I couldn't let myself get sidetracked now.

The usual pain that coursed through me whenever I thought of my family was an instant ally. I could feel my face start to crumple involuntarily. "Yeah, it was – "

"Hey, Elisa!" Much to my relief, we were interrupted by a loud voice calling my name. I turned to see two of Jimmy's friends, Connor and Mercer, heading our way. The fact that they were talking to me was a bit surprising; they usually sat with us at lunch but I'd never exchanged more than the usual pleasantries with them.

As they got closer, I fully appreciated for the first time what a study in opposites they really were. Where Mercer was black, tall, and rail thin, with a shaved head, Connor was so short that he looked like an escapee from elementary school. His hair was a dyed bright raspberry red tangle, and he was as white as I was.

When they reached us, Mercer grinned down at me. "Heard about your accident, Elisa. Nice tread marks!" Both of them were staring at my face and I flushed self consciously.

I rolled my eyes. "Uh…thanks?"

"Man, that bruise looks massive! I think it's bigger than the one I got when I face planted trying to jump a park bench on my skateboard. Take off the glasses and give us a better look," Connor was practically standing underneath my chin, staring upwards.

I groaned silently, looking at Jimmy for help, but he just smirked and pulled my book bag off my arm.

Slightly distracted by his unexpected chivalry in carrying my bag for me, I was quickly brought back to earth by an insistent voice.

"Come on!" Connor reached up and tried to pull my glasses off himself but I ducked out of his way with an indignant squawk. What was the big deal, anyway?

"Fine, then, take a look," I gave in and pulled the sunglasses off with a flourish. Connor and Mercer's reactions didn't disappoint. Their jaws dropped simultaneously and then Mercer let out a loud whistle. I couldn't help but laugh at how easy it was to impress them. Only boys would think giant bruises were some kind of badge of honor.

"That is one magnificent mark. If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd been in a fight!" Mercer finished his examination and stood back, beaming as if this was the ultimate compliment.

I giggled nervously. "Only with the airbag."

They both laughed appreciatively at this and I began to relax. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all. Sure, I was already getting the side eye and snickers from some of the passing students, particularly members of the clique that I had declined to join on my first day, but Jimmy hadn't seemed too repulsed. Plus his friends were acting like I'd passed some kind of initiation and was a full fledged member of the club now.

I turned my gaze back to Jimmy, but he wasn't looking at me. Instead, he was digging with seemingly no shame at all through the bag that I'd thought he was trying to carry for me. "Hey! Personal space! What do you think you're doing?"

"Looking for this," Jimmy pulled my cell out and immediately began dialing. "I'm putting my number in your phone. No way am I going through another week like this last one."

I heard a buzzing and he tossed my phone back to me and dug his own cell out of his jeans. "Now I have yours too – " He looked up at me as he spoke and instantly his words cut off in a strangled croak.

Any relief I had felt earlier had a shorter shelf life than the average Volturi tourist. Jimmy was staring at my fully exposed face in utter horror, exactly the reaction that I'd feared. Something shriveled inside my chest as I stared back at him, and I was seized with the urge to run to the bathroom and hide for the rest of the day.

Before I could contemplate whether there would be crying along with my hiding, he seized my upper arm in a tight grip, turning to Mercer and Connor. "We'll catch up with you guys later, alright?" It was a clear dismissal.

Connor and Mercer exchanged deeply amused looks as Jimmy pulled me away, oblivious to his expression. "Oooh, they want to be _alone_!" Their teasing hoots might have thrilled me under normal circumstances, if it hadn't been for the direly serious look on Jimmy's face.

"We need to talk," Jimmy nearly growled the words through gritted teeth and then he was tugging me across the lawn towards the school. I wanted to demand an explanation for his unscheduled freak out but Tandy Newmeyer, who apparently had called on the powers of darkness to conjure herself up at the most inconvenient moment, stepped into our path. My irritation at seeing her was increased by the fact that she was far prettier than someone wearing that amount of black mesh had any right to be.

"Jimmy, I thought you were going to meet me in the café –" Tandy caught sight of me and her scowl deepened. "Oh, it's you. Guess you survived after all." Her tone implied that this was a deep disappointment, and I gave her an acid look in response.

"Not now, Tandy," Jimmy shot her an impatient look and maneuvered me around her.

Tandy looked stunned by his brush off. She hurried forward to step in our path once again. "What's with you?" She demanded of Jimmy.

Jimmy heaved a sigh and we stopped abruptly, long enough for me to yank my arm out of his grip. "That's what I'd like to know too, Sasquatch Boy. I have enough bruises already without you dragging me around, thank you very much!"

"Do you now?" Jimmy's lips twisted and I noticed that his Newfie accent, barely noticeable at times, was getting stronger. "I was just looking forward to how you were going to explain how your 'car' managed to reach out and pummel you with its fists."

Tandy and I gasped at the same time, and she turned back to stare at me so fast that I was amazed she didn't give herself whiplash. Now I was caught in their dual, unrelenting gaze.

"I don't know what you're – " I was perilously close to stammering, and my heart was thudding in my chest.

"Wait a second," We were standing next to the school building now, and Tandy shot a wary look at the students milling within earshot. "Let's go down there," she pointed to the outside stairwell that led to the basement level of the school, where the science labs and the cafeteria were.

Before I could tell Morticia to mind her own damn business Jimmy had reclaimed my arm and was marching me down the concrete steps. As soon as we reached the relative privacy at the bottom, I pulled out of his grasp once more.

"Alright, now what's going on?" Tandy asked sharply, with some nerve, since I was the one who actually had the right to know.

Jimmy ignored her, his razor sharp gaze zeroed in on me. "How stupid do you think I am, Elisa?"

"I don't t-think you're stupid," I choked. Great. Now I _was_ stammering. What was going on here? He just couldn't be saying that he knew I hadn't been in a car accident, because never in our Vampire Subterfuge 101 sessions back home had we ever covered the part where _they didn't believe you_.

"Do you have any idea how many fights I've been, Elisa?" Jimmy's voice was more controlled now, but his jaw was still clenched tightly.

_No, but I'll bet Emmett does_, I thought to myself. Out loud, I said, "A lot?" The feeling of being backed into a corner was growing stronger by the second.

"Yeah, a lot," Jimmy nodded, his face grim. "So I know what it looks like when someone gets hit." He crossed his arms. "Look at her, Tandy, and tell me with a straight face that an airbag did that."

_Oh God. Oh God oh God oh God._ He _was_ saying he didn't believe the car accident story. Dammit, how could this be happening? And since when were teenage boys allowed to be insightful, anyway?

"Y-you're t-totally wrong– " I tried to object but I was stammering even more and turning a brilliant shade of red at the same time. It was definitely not my finest performance and even as I watched, the doubt on Jimmy and Tandy's faces solidified into certainty.

As Tandy looked me over, her dark eyes widened. "Nice turtleneck, Elisa. I don't suppose that's a hickey you're hiding under there, is it?" Her words were swimming in sarcasm.

My hands flew to my neck guiltily as my blush became even hotter. "I don't know what you're talking about!" To my alarm, my voice trembled. I was digging my own grave deeper by the second and I had no idea how to climb out of it.

I didn't think it was possible for Jimmy to look any more upset but at Tandy's words his face went an odd shade of gray. Without another word he strode over to me. I realized his intent too late but even as I started to whirl away he had caught my sweater by the neck and yanked it downward to expose my neck and collarbone.

I should have shoved him away but I couldn't move, even when Tandy moved closer to me, looking sickened. "Are those what I think they are?" She muttered to Jimmy.

He let go of my shirt abruptly and I stumbled back as he looked at her. "Yeah. Those are finger marks." When he turned to me, his lips were white with anger. "I suppose the car tried to strangle you too, right?"

I couldn't speak. I just shook my head slowly, tears welling in my eyes.

"Elisa, this is serious. You have to tell us what's going on." Tandy turned on me. "Did someone hurt you?" Her voice rose again when I didn't answer. "Stop standing there pretending like you don't know what we're talking about!"

"Elisa, come on," Jimmy broke in when I still couldn't master the power of speech. His voice was low and anxious now. "Hey, you can talk to us, OK? I didn't mean to get so mad. It's just – " He stepped closer to me, trying hard to force an imitation of his usual smile. "I have this burning urge to kill whoever did this to you, and if you don't tell me, I just gotta start going through everyone you know. Can't you narrow it down a little?"

I shook my head, even as the tears spilled over onto my cheeks. A sound between a laugh and a sob ripped from between my lips. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Tandy folded her arms across her chest in a direct imitation of Jimmy. "We know you weren't in a car accident, don't we?"

I stared at their unrelenting figures. There was nothing else for it. Slowly, I nodded. "But…I can't…please, just trust me. I can't tell you anything else."

Jimmy groaned loudly and he gestured towards me. I jumped back, not sure if he was trying to comfort me or strangle me himself. Tandy pushed him back. "Let me handle this, Jimmy."

She turned towards me. "Look, Elisa, I may not like you, mostly because you're a chirpy pain in the ass who's somehow magically hypnotized my best friend into thinking you're the best thing since chocolate chip cookie dough. But that doesn't mean I'm just going to sit back and pretend none of this ever happened. I mean, have you seen yourself? Nobody deserves to be hurt like that. Not even you."

I moistened my parched lips. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "All I can tell you is that it's not what you think it is."

Tandy sighed loudly and exchanged an exasperated look with Jimmy. "Fine. Since you're too stupid to help yourself, I guess we'll have to do it for you."

She stepped back, turning to him. "We have to go to Principal Wilkers."

"Wilkers is an idiot," Jimmy answered her, ignoring me as I tried to protest. "Thornhill is better. He'll know what to do."

"Wait, wait, wait!" True panic assailed me as they began to ascend the stone steps.

Jimmy turned, two steps above me, to look down. His face was set. "I'm sorry, Elisa, but Tandy's right. If you can't help yourself someone has to step in."

Oh, this just kept getting better and better. The Cullens' spent over a century keeping a low profile and now because of me they were going from mysterious and rich to child abusing deviants overnight.

"You guys don't understand! _Would you wait_?" I ran past them up the stairs, turning to block their way. I had to clear my head and think of a way out of this, but the only thing floating through my mind at the moment were the Lifetime movie titles that were going to be inspired by my life, like Victimized By Vampires: The Elisa Jensen Story (or maybe Buried Out Back: The Nameless Social Worker's Story was a touch more likely.) Oh God, if I didn't fix this now everything was going to be ruined.

"Look – " I held up my hands. "OK, you're right. We lied to everyone. There wasn't a car accident."

Jimmy and Tandy had stopped in front of me and now they exchanged a significant look. I blocked them more fully before they could start walking again. "If I promise to tell you the real deal, would you guys stop trying to go all afterschool special on me here?"

"Save the cover up, Elisa, I'm not interested." Tandy started forward again.

I turned to Jimmy, my eyes welling with fresh tears. "Please!"

He regarded me for a slow second, then, to my immense relief, Jimmy reached out and grabbed Tandy by the elbow. She gave him a furious look but he was already pulling her back down the steps. "C'mon, Tandy, this is too serious to screw up. I think we at least need to hear what she has to say."

Relief made my eyes well up even more. I had no idea what I was going to tell them, but at least now I had a chance.

Jimmy led the way back to our spot in the entry way. He turned back to me, arms folded, waiting.

"OK," I swallowed hard. My hands were shaking. "Do you both swear never, ever, to tell anyone what I am about to tell you?"

"You've got to be kidding – " Tandy began hotly but Jimmy cut her off.

"Depends on what you tell us." His face was unmoving, and I could tell that was as good as I was going to get.

Here went nothing. My mind, which was usually so good at coming up with stories, was dangerously blank, and I could tell by their impatient expressions that they weren't going to wait long. "Alright…so, this didn't happen in a car accident, like you already know." I touched my bruised face lightly. "It was – " A tiny voice in my mind screamed at me to shut up, but her name had already jumped to my lips. "Bella."

Oh hell, why did I just say that? _Way to sell out, Elisa._ If my vampire family had to rely on a moron like me to not blow their cover, they might as well give up now and surrender themselves to science for study and experimentation.

"Bella?" Jimmy's brow furrowed as he tried to place the name. "The girl you talk about all the time, the one that just married your cousin? _She_ did this to you? Are you serious? I mean, you talk about her like she's some kind of saint, like you – "

"Idolize her," I admitted, as he struggled for words. "At least…I did."

Unexpectedly, my voice cracked. Abruptly, I sat down on the bottom step, the weight of everything on my shoulders suddenly too heavy. I didn't know if I was going to be able to pull this off.

"Hey, Elisa…don't cry," Jimmy looked nearly panic stricken himself. He followed my lead, sitting down next to me. Tandy eyed us for a moment then went to sit on the step above us.

"What happened?" Jimmy urged once the imminent danger of waterworks seemed to have passed. "You two got into a fight?"

I bit my lip hard. It was too late to change tracks now. I was going to have to run with this one. "It wasn't really her fault. She wasn't herself."

"What do you mean?" Tandy demanded.

"She…um…" My mouth was cotton dry. "Bella…has a problem. It made her – different."

I could see by their faces that my vagueness wasn't going over too well. "What kind of problem?" Tandy was relentless. "Was she on something?"

Without any better ideas, I nodded again, hoping that would be enough.

Of course it wasn't. "What was it?" Freaking Tandy. Did she need me to draw her a diagram too?

"Um…heroin," I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head and then cringed silently. Fabulous. I really hoped that being known as a drug addict with violent tendencies was preferable to being revealed as a blood sucking fiend, because otherwise if Bella ever came back to St. John's she would really kill me this time.

"So what happened?" It was Jimmy that spoke this time. "What made her go after you?" He moved closer to me on the step.

Of course I couldn't tell them the truth, that apparently in Bella's eyes I really was the next best thing to chocolate chip cookie dough. Despite my annoyance at her fifty million questions, Tandy's prompting had given me sudden inspiration. I plunged ahead, feeling my gift for storytelling renew itself. And since the best lies were always rooted in truth, I decided to start there.

"OK, so last weekend, it was Bella's birthday. And um – she kinda has this social anxiety deal going on, where she can't stand being the center of attention. But I really wanted to throw her a birthday party, you know? I mean, a few presents, some cake…what's so bad about birthday cake, right?"

To my surprise, Jimmy and Tandy were hanging on my every word as if I was making total sense so far. Heartened, I continued. "Well, anyway, I guess I pushed it a little too far. It was only supposed to be family, but some other…old friends of hers showed up." I closed my eyes for a moment, seeing again the nightmarish image of Irina and her cohorts, appearing out of the trees. "They um…brought a not so great present."

"They brought her the drugs?" Tandy asked helpfully.

I nodded. "Yeah. " I felt dizzy as I remembered Dax stalking me in the garden, Bella running between us…the way that blood had gushed from her torn throat…

"What did she do to you?" Jimmy's voice was a horrified hush.

I shook off the memories and delved back into fiction. "She was completely out of it, like she didn't even recognize any of us or understand what was going on. I think she targeted me because she was mad about the party. I was the one who forced her into it. If it hadn't been for me, she would have stayed clean – none of this would have happened. So she - " My breath was coming in pants now. "She attacked me."

In my mind, Irina's hand flashed towards me again; I felt myself hit the garden wall. My head and face throbbed in memory, but I forced myself to continue. "And then…she choked me."

As I talked about it, it was like it was happening all over again. I could remember all too clearly strangling in Bella's grip, unable to breathe. My voice became a rasp and it was a struggle to not hyperventilate. "Anyway, I don't remember much after that. I guess she finally realized what she was doing."

"You don't remember?" Jimmy's eyes bulged in sudden realization. _"She choked you until you passed out?"_

"Damn," Tandy muttered from above us. "That is one crazy bitch."

Jolted at hearing Bella described that way, I shook my head in protest. "It's not like that! I mean, it is like that, but she's – that's not who she is! She's never been like that before. It wasn't her fault; you just don't understand."

"I hate to break it to you, Elisa, but if she willingly took the drugs, then it's completely her fault." Tandy's voice was flat. She'd been leaning towards me but now she sat back against the wall, folding her arms across her chest. "And I do understand, more than you realize."

Jimmy's hand tilted towards her and I saw the surprise on his face, as if he hadn't expected her to say what she was going to say.

Tandy sighed, shifting forward once more, her eyes fixed on my face. "My older brother Trent is hooked on crank." Her voice was very flat now.

Crank? I'd heard the term before, but I wasn't sure exactly –

Tandy broke into my thoughts as if she'd read them. "It's meth, Elisa."

"Ohhh…" I said, and then winced in horrified understanding. "That's really bad."

"Oh, you think?" Tandy's voice dripped with sarcasm.

I shot her an apologetic look and much to my surprise, she gave me a small smile. "Sorry. I'm a little touchy about it. Listen, I'm not telling you this so we can bond and cry together. I'm just saying I get the wanting to make excuses. My family has done it for years. But the last time Trent showed up, talking the same old talk about how he was going to change, he ending up stealing my mom's bank cards. He took everything we had. We got evicted because of him and spent six months sleeping in my uncle's living room until my mom scraped together enough to get another place. He never even came back to check on us or say he was sorry."

She looked away from me now, as if she didn't want me to see her expression. "You can't trust an addict and trying to justify what they do leads nowhere. No matter what is going on with her, that doesn't give her the right to use you as a punching bag."

"I know," I stared down at my feet. "I just – I can't believe I was so stupid. Everyone warned me about what could happen. They said we had to let her go away, someplace where she would be safe. But I wanted so bad to believe that Bella would be different, like she'd have some super self control and nothing would have to change." I took a deep breath. "I'm really mad at her," I admitted. "I feel rotten about saying that after everything she's done for me, but I am. I thought she was going to kill me! How do I get over something like that? And then…they just _left_. Both she and Edward walked out like I meant nothing to them. They didn't even say goodbye! I mean, I know they had to but - " The lump in my throat was making it hard for me to finish.

"Where did they go?" Jimmy asked curiously. "To a rehab center or something?"

"I'm not exactly sure," I mumbled. "Something like that. They're going to be gone a long time."

"You're lucky," Tandy turned her head back to me. Her eyes were overbright, but not damp like mine. "At least she's trying to get better. You have hope. That's more than most of us get."

I felt very small and petty now, sitting here feeling sorry for myself, especially in the face of what Tandy had just revealed. "You're right," I whispered. "I'm really lucky. I guess maybe I forgot that for a little while."

We sat in silence for a long moment before I cleared my throat. "Hey, you guys…I'm really sorry that I lied to you. It's just – "

"You wanted to protect her," Jimmy said, and I was filled with more guilt at deceiving him again. "I get that. It's going to be hard enough on all of you without people talking behind your backs. You don't need to worry about us saying anything. I swear we won't."

"Thank you," I answered as Tandy nodded. "Not just for keeping quiet. It may not have seemed like it a few minutes ago, but it means a lot that you were worried about me."

"Alright, now you're asking for it," Jimmy grinned and jumped up, pulling me up with him. He held out his arms exaggeratedly and I laughed, letting him pull me into a hard hug.

When he released me I caught sight of Tandy's face over his shoulder. She looked like she was gritting her teeth.

"Um…" I stepped in her direction hesitantly. "Are we hugging too?"

Tandy looked as if I'd just offered her a maggot sandwich. "I'll pass," she snapped.

I laughed again, feeling so giddy with relief that I'd managed to smooth everything over that I couldn't be offended.

My euphoria was dampened slightly when I noticed how quiet it was. The grounds were empty now, eerily silent when compared to the cacophony earlier. "Oh, crap! The bell rang!"

Jimmy snorted. "About fifteen minutes ago, Elisa."

"Oh no," I moaned. "Late on my first day back – Rosalie is going to kill me! I'd better get to class."

Tandy elbowed Jimmy in the side and he nodded reluctantly. "Us too."

I reached down to pick up my book bag as the two of them began to ascend the stairs.

There was a long squeak followed by a loud bang from somewhere above us; the sound of one of the outer doors opening and slamming closed again. The three of us froze in our tracks, and Jimmy turned to look at me, placing a finger over his lips.

Someone was walking in our general direction; I could hear the footsteps getting louder. I held my breath. The last thing we needed was –

"JAMES RAFFERTY AND TANDY NEWMEYER!" The voice boomed down to us and my stomach curdled as Principal Wilkers appeared at the top of the stairs, his face like a thundercloud. Strands of his comb over blew in the rising breeze. "Only a few weeks in and you two are already cutting class. Just as I had begun to hope that this year would be better, here we are, right back where we started from." He crooked a stubby finger at them. "My office, NOW."

Jimmy's shoulders slumped. He started forward, but I ran around him.

Principal Wilkers nearly jumped out of his loafers at the sight of me. Clearly, he hadn't seen me hidden behind the two of them.

"Elisa Cullen! Where did you come – oh dear." He was staring at my face. "We're very relieved to have you back. I was quite sorry to hear about your accident."

"Thank you. Principal Wilkers, I just wanted you to know that Jimmy and Tandy weren't really skipping class. I mean they were, but it's not their fault." I gave him my best wide eyed expression, knowing my face still bore the evidence of recent tears. "The car accident really shook me up. I wasn't ready to come back to school, and I guess I fell apart a little. They were trying to talk me into going to class. If anyone should be in trouble, it should be me."

Principal Wilkers looked completely discomfited. "I see. Well…er…" he looked at the three of us. "Under the circumstances…I suppose an exception could be made…" With that, he dug into his pocked and pulled out a small white pad. Taking a pen from his jacket pocket, he scrawled on it, repeated the process twice more, and bestowed each of us with a sheet. I stared at it, realizing with astonishment that it was an excused absence slip.

"I want all three of you in class next period, and from now on," Principal Wilkers was clearly trying for a stern tone, trying to reclaim some of his lost authority even as Jimmy began to smirk. With a brusque nod, he turned and went back the way he came.

Jimmy gazed at me in blatant admiration. "Did you see the way his spine turned to jelly at the sight of you? Your family must be _loaded_!"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Seems to help, doesn't it?"

He laughed. Then out of no where, he grabbed my hand. Immediately, electricity began to shoot up my arm as he started to lead me up the steps.

"Have you had breakfast?" he asked suddenly. "Because I haven't, and I think if I exploit you for sympathy, the cafeteria ladies will hook us all up. Want to give it a go?"

I giggled. "Sure – " I started to say, but my words were cut off as Tandy shoved past us. If Principal Wilkers face had looked like a thundercloud, then her expression was a hurricane warning.

"Count me out. I'm going to class," she announced, her voice still hard as she leaned down and picked up her book bag with an angry jerk.

"Are you kidding? We just got get out of jail free cards and you're going back in?" Jimmy stared at her. "What's with you?"

The way Tandy's eyes dropped to his hand, still clasped around mine, was a dead giveaway. "I have a group project due this period. I did most of the work, so I want to be there to get most of the credit. Besides, - " her voice turned glacial, "The two of you two probably want to be alone anyway." She shot Jimmy a final, blistering glare, and before we could protest, she had stomped up the stairs and disappeared.

As happy as I was to find the two of us with some unexpected alone time, the slight hurt on Jimmy's face still made me want to call her back and slap her. Talk about a mood swing. "Jimmy, is she on medication? You can tell me, I won't judge. It would explain a lot, actually."

Jimmy shook his head. "Just…give her some time. She'll get used to you. She's just…well, it's always been her and me since the third grade. I guess she's kinda – "

"Jealous?" I supplied.

Jimmy frowned. "Maybe," he mused and then his voice turned concerned. "But I mean, she's not jealous because she thinks you and me - I mean, it's not like that with us, never has been."

I shook my head. _Boys!_ They were so clueless. Maybe it had never been like that for him, but I would have easily bet that it was an entirely different story for Tandy. If she didn't clearly wish I'd stumble over a cliff I would have almost felt sorry for her.

"I'll talk to her later," Jimmy was still looking a bit too distracted for my liking. "It's getting out of hand. I'll try to make her understand that you and me are – "

"Are what?" My palms were starting to sweat a bit, and I hoped he didn't notice. But what exactly did he mean by that? That we were just friends? My hopes plummeted at the thought.

For several seconds too long, Jimmy didn't answer. He just stared at a spot over my shoulder as if the scarred brick wall had suddenly become fascinating. Finally, he looked at me again.

"Does it still hurt?" He murmured.

"Does what hurt?" He was standing very close to me, so close I could smell his soap and something sweet, like syrup. Pain seemed like a very foreign, far away concept at the moment.

"Your face. I mean, it looks like it really hurts," he explained, and the blood started pounding through my veins when he reached up and carefully placed his fingers on my cheek.

_Not when you're touching me. _I couldn't speak out loud; I was too afraid my voice would crack, so I just shook my head slightly.

He didn't drop his hand. Instead his fingers trailed a light line down my cheek and goose bumps broke out on my arms. He was even closer to me now.

"I really like you, Elisa," his voice was hesitant. "It's kinda…new for me. And I think it's weird for Tandy too. That's why she's acting like this."

"I really like you too," I whispered back_. So please, for my sake, shut the hell up about Tandy before you kill the mood._

He broke into a smile at my words and much to my delight, he moved even closer. We were almost touching now, barely an inch left between us.

"So…if you like me…and I like you…" His voice was barely audible now even though he was leaning down towards me, and he was speaking so slowly I thought I was going to scream from frustration. "Then maybe we should…"

_Yes! I have no idea what you're going to say but I think we totally should, so could you just get to the point already?_

And then he angled his head downward and I lost any ability to care at all about what he was going to say. The inch between had disappeared and his lips were a hairbreadth from mine, so close that I could smell his toothpaste and I had a millisecond of worry that I hadn't brushed my own teeth thoroughly enough. I mean, nobody warned me there would be kissing today and there was so clearly about to be – thank you Kissing Gods for cinnamon flavored dental floss; I'll buy it by the basketful from now on in gratitude.

And then his lips were just barely brushing against mine and I forgot to breathe and didn't care any more about dental hygiene. His lips were incredibly soft, and his fingers were winding through mine. My eyes were falling closed and even though the kiss had just started I knew with all certainty that it was going to be absolutely, positively, the best kiss I'd ever –

"Elisa Cullen!"

This could not be happening.

The trilling voice from above was like a bucket of ice water dumped abruptly on our heads. We both jumped apart immediately and my first instinct was to grab him and pull him back, consequences be damned, but the sound of high heels clicking on the asphalt were coming closer and closer. "Oh, there you are!"

I groaned almost silently as the rotund Marcie Hughes, our school secretary, appeared at the top of the stairs. She beamed down on us, clearly unaware that she had just disrupted the moment I'd been dreaming about for weeks. "Principal Wilkers told me you were out here, Elisa. I have something for you." She indicated something white in her hand and gestured for me to come up the stairs to her, clearly not wanting to navigate the steps in her teetering heels.

I couldn't suppress my glower as I reluctantly walked towards her. Jimmy followed right behind me, much to my disappointment. I'd hoped that he would wait where he was so we could finish what we had started as soon as I got rid of her.

"What is it?" I had to mentally pinch myself hard to keep my tone polite.

Mrs. Hughes didn't seem to notice. She tapped what appeared to be a white envelope on her palm. "Now, Elisa, under normal circumstances I'd be a little put out with you over this. After all, I'm very busy and I can't be running all over the place hand delivering students' personal mail, which has no business being sent to here in the first place."

I had no idea what she was talking about, but she was smiling widely with the manner of someone bestowing a great favor. "However given your…situation, I suppose I can make an exception just this once. Just do me a favor, and give your friends your home address from now on." With a final lipsticked grin, she pressed the envelope into my hand and turned to walk back into the school.

"Personal mail?" I stared at the envelope in bewilderment. There was no return address, just my name and the school's address scrawled in black ink. "Who would be – Jimmy?"

Jimmy had been shuffling from foot to foot next to me. Now he began to edge past me, not exactly wearing the happy expression of someone about to go lip to lip with his cinnamon scented paramour. "Where are you going?"

"I have to…" He was stammering worse than I had been earlier, and it couldn't be more obvious that he wanted to get away from me as fast as possible. "I gotta get to second period."

"But we still have ten minutes until the bell rings!" What had I done wrong? My ex boyfriend would have had his tongue down my throat by this point and be trying to unhook my bra on top of it. How had Jimmy managed to go from hot lips to cold feet so fast?

"Yeah, but I forgot my books in my locker so – " He gestured helplessly towards the school, already backing away from me.

"I'll go with you!" I insisted, stepping forward, but he looked even more panicked at this.

"No, it's cool, Elisa – I'll see you third period, OK?" With that, he turned and nearly ran off. As I watched him go, any self esteem I'd ever possessed fell into the dirt and was trampled repeatedly. I didn't know what had gone wrong, but clearly, something had.

I wanted nothing more than to flop down on the steps and sulk but the bell was going to ring for second period any minute. I had no choice but to get moving.

As I slumped up the steps I remembered the envelope that Marcie Hughes had given me and looked down it absently. I still couldn't figure out why anyone would send mail to my school. It had to be a mistake somehow.

I stopped walking as I read the black handwriting on the envelope. It almost looked deliberately messy, like someone had scrawled my name in an enormous hurry. Who would –

_Jacob. _

My heart began to hammer rapidly as I hurriedly tore open the envelope. It had to be him! After all, it made total sense. Of course he wouldn't want to write to me at the house and risk the others seeing. How he had figured out what school I attended was a mystery I'd try to figure out later.

I pulled the card out of the envelope with shaking hands. It was a greeting card, the type that could be bought in any store. I smiled as I read the front. _Missing You_ was printed in bold red font and a so cute it was almost creepy cartoon bear grinned up at me. OK, so this wasn't quite enough to make me forget about my near miss with Jimmy, but it sure was a good start.

Everything changed when I read what was written inside the card.

_Your secret is safe with me._

_-S_

The world began to swirl around me as pure terror tornadoed through my brain, smashing everything else into debris.

Not Jacob.

**_Sebastian._**

* * *

_To be continued…_

_UPDATED: For those of you who want a refresher on Sebastian, you might want to re-read chapters 16 and 17._

_I am so sorry that I inadvertently revealed this ending a few chapters ago, when my outline was completely different. I hope that there was enough twists in this chapter to make up for it. _

_In the next chapter, Sebastian's message unnerves everyone and unspoken resentments threaten to fracture the Cullens just when Elisa needs them the most._

_Reviews as always are shamelessly courted._


	23. Pieces

_So um...yeah. It's been a long time. A reeeeaaaalllly long time. I don't have any great excuses. All I can say is life happened. It happened A LOT._

T_o catch up any readers that I may have left, in the last chapter Elisa returned to school after her latest near death experience, this time at Bella's newly immortal hands, only to find danger has never really left her side at all, just taken a new face._

_I would recommend re-reading the last chapter, as well as the Sebastian heavy chapters 16 Lessons and 17 Repercussions. For extra credit you can also re-read chapter 1, Elisa's 2nd POV only._

_This chapter is dedicated to siDEADde, for the inspiration.  
_

**Chapter 23: Pieces**

_Walk away now_

_And you're gonna start a war…_

I never did step foot inside a classroom that day. After receiving Sebastian's stalkermail, I lost a few minutes to hyperventilating and near pants wetting panic. Then I made my way up to the front office of the school, jumping at shadows the whole way, and told Mrs. Hughes that I had a horrible headache and needed to go home. One look at my gray, sweat streaked face and she didn't even bother to send me to the nurse first for verification.

Luckily, there was no need for me to go into detailed explanation when I called home. As it turned out, Alice had seen me open Sebastian's card and Emmett and Rosalie was already halfway to the school.

We hadn't talked much on the car ride home, or at least I hadn't talked much. There had been a rapid fire interrogation when I first climbed into the car, and the rest of the ride was the two of them passing Sebastian's card back and forth. Their muttered conversation was barely audible to my ears.

Any hope I had that this might not be the terrifying death omen it appeared to be was lost as I watched their tight, hard expressions. Rosalie's hands were clenched around the steering wheel and her foot continually pressed down on the gas, urging her Mustang to go faster.

Alice and Jasper had been waiting for us on the porch, their faces as grim as Emmett's and Rosalie's. The pit in my stomach seemed to deepen another ten feet at the sight of them. Apparently Carlisle and Esme had been informed as well; Rosalie told me they were catching the first flight back from Seattle.

Now the five of us were congregated in the dining room. I leaned against the wall, watching Rosalie pace back and forth. Across from me, on the other side of the table, Alice and Jasper leaned into each other. I couldn't tell if they were speaking or not. Emmett stood next to me, watching Rosalie. My legs felt shaky. I wanted to sit down at the table, but no one else seemed to have any inclination to.

"This is unbelievable," Rosalie said, for the fourteenth time if I was counting correctly. I watched her pace back and forth, Sebastian's card in her talon like grip. Abruptly, she whipped around to face the rest of us. "Sebastian can't stand humans; why would he target Elisa, of all people? And how was he able to track her down like this?"

Her words hadn't been accusing, but Alice seemed to take them as a personal affront anyway. "I don't know. I didn't see," she slumped into a chair. "I'm sorry."

"Nobody's blaming you, Alice," Jasper murmured softly.

"What does this mean?" Emmett broke in impatiently. He gestured to the card. "Your secret is safe with me? What is he talking about?" He looked at me.

"I don't know," I muttered, alarmed by the way he was looking at me. There was only one secret I could think of that had anything to do with me…but how could Sebastian know that, the incident in the library, the visions, the drawing...?

But then again, he'd said during our brief encounter that I was 'perfectly clear to him'…what did that mean? Did he know something about me that I didn't even know about myself?

"He means he's not going to reveal Elisa to the Volturi," Alice's voice broke into my frantic thoughts. There was no uncertainty in her tone.

The others stared at her. "Are you certain?" Jasper demanded.

"I'm certain that's what he meant," Alice indicated the card with a flick of her chin. "Whether he will actually keep his word or not, that's an entirely different story."

"Why would he offer to keep our secret?" Emmett demanded, his voice even louder. He snatched the card back from Rosalie, reading it again as if he expected to find hidden messages in it.

"Self preservation, perhaps," Rosalie mused. "He knows we'd kill him if we thought there was even a chance that he was going to sell her out."

I was jolted by this, her flat declaration of the extremes in which the Cullens were willing to go to protect me, but before I could muse on it long the others were chiming in.

"I say we can't take that chance," Emmett's face was grim. "As long as we've known Sebastian, he's wanted to join the Volturi Guard. It doesn't make any sense that he would sit on info that could be his ticket in. We have to track him down. Now."

Jasper straightened up. "He's right. We can't trust him, not after he helped Irina."

"Sebastian won't tell," I hadn't meant to speak, but my sudden whisper had their heads whipping around in unison.

"Why would you think that, Elisa? Especially after what he helped do to Bella right in front of you!" Rosalie demanded. "You don't know him the way we did. He can't be trusted."

"I know," my voice was still a nervous whisper. "But he won't tell."

"Why - " Rosalie started again but I wasn't paying attention now. My mind was back where I never wanted it to go, back in the garden on that horrible day when Bella almost died. The day that was always soaked in blood in my memories, the few times I even came close to letting myself remember it.

I could feel his cold fingers on my face once more, could hear his voice in my head again so clearly, the last thing he'd said to me. "Save yourself, Elisa. I am very much counting on seeing you again."

And even more terrifying was what he'd said before that, to Dax, when he'd stopped his feral companion from killing me: 'This one intoxicates me…her scent…the things she makes me see… Who knows? I might even keep her."

I had never told any of them what Sebastian had said to me that day, or how I'd bargained with him; my life for Bella's. I didn't know for sure if I hadn't because I didn't want them to worry, or because I knew if I forced myself to face what it all could mean I might run screaming and never stop.

But the time for secrets was over now. Whatever expression was on my face as the memories slithered through my mind made their questions irrelevant.

"He won't tell them because he wants you for himself," Alice looked sickened.

"My God," Rosalie muttered under her breath.

"We have to leave. We have to hide her," Emmett's hands were balled into fists. He looked at me. "Pack some stuff. I want to be out of here in the next hour."

He turned to his wife. "Rosalie, can you make some calls?"

Everyone immediately began speaking at once but amazingly, no voice was louder than mine.

"NO!"

Emmett stared at me, his expression shocked. I rushed forward before he could interrupt me. "We can't run away! We have a life here! Carlisle has the free clinic, and it means everything to him. You all have been happy, and I have school, I have friends! I was finally starting to feel normal again. How can we give all that up?"

"Elisa," Emmett kneeled down in front of me, forcing me to look at his deadly serious expression. Gently, he took my hands in his. "Listen to me. Sebastian will kill you if he gets the chance."

"I know," I whispered back. I could feel the tremors begin. "But I trust you guys to protect me. Besides, if he's that determined, he'll find me wherever I go, won't he?" I directed the last question at Alice now.

After a long moment, Alice nodded. "Yes. Every single one of us knows that if he is really determined to have her, he won't give up just because it's not as easy to find us. Let's face it; that would probably only make it more fun for him."

"See?" I turned back to Emmett. "It's not even just him. I'm not invincible like the rest of you. There's always going to be danger around me, from sickness or car accidents or even other human beings that are just as twisted as Sebastian in their own ways. I can't hide out the second anything gets scary. It's just the way things are when you're mortal, and you can't protect me from life, not if I'm ever going to have a chance to live it. Please, Emmett..." my voice caught now and Emmett sighed heavily, his face still grim and uncertain.

"We need to know where he is. Can you see him now?" Rosalie's voice was barely controlled as she turned to Alice. It made my heart race all over again to see how clearly upset she was.

Alice's face was frustrated. "I can try, but my sight hasn't been working right lately. I don't - ' she sighed heavily, 'Just don't expect to rely on me. Sebastian knows how my vision works as well as anyone."

With that, her face went blank. We all waited as her eyes glazed over. I fidgeted nervously.

Almost instantly her eyes came back to life. A look of utter surprise colored her features.

"Alice, look, it's alright," Emmett began. "We can track him - "

Alice was shaking her head. "No, I can see him," her voice was as surprised as her face. "I can see where he is perfectly. Ireland. He's near the coast, but the weather has been too good for him to feel comfortable. He's had to stay under the radar a lot and it's making him consider going further north."

She shook her head, looking slightly stunned. "It's so clear…like – Sebastian's not even trying to hide. He wants me to know what he's doing – " Understanding darkened her features. "It's a challenge. He's daring us to come to him."

"And we will," Emmett's voice was decisive. "Jasper and I will leave immediately."

"No!" Rosalie whirled on him, her eyes blazing. "Do you think that you two can run off and play heroes while Alice and I stay home and keep house like good little girls? Not again! When you both went after Irina, we didn't know if you would come back at all." Her voice wavered slightly. "I'm not going through that again. I'm going with you."

Alice stood up. "Don't be ridiculous, Rosalie. I am the one who can see him. You and Emmett need to stay here with Elisa. Jasper and I will go.

Their dark eyes clashed for a moment and then abruptly Rosalie laughed, a harsh, bitter sound. "Oh, I get it," Her lips twisted into a sneer. "Well, that's just perfect. When you get to Alaska, be sure to say hello to Edward and Bella for us, would you?"

Alice looked stunned. "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Going after Sebastian is the perfect excuse you need to run out on us, like you've been dying to do since your precious Edward left the building. For all we know, you did see Sebastian mail the card to Elisa. But why would you say anything, when you knew it would all play out like this, just the way you wanted?"

Jasper stiffened, glaring daggers at Rosalie. Alice looked like she'd been hit in the face as she jumped to her feet. "How dare you even suggest that? I would never hold out on the rest of the family!"

"Wouldn't you?" Rosalie's expression was merciless. "Because isn't that what you've been doing for the past few months? Pulling away from all of us and taking Jasper with you? You don't talk to Carlisle and Esme any more. You certainly don't talk to the rest of us. So why don't you just run to the only people you really care about?"

"Rose, come on," Emmett touched her arm. "That's enough."

Rosalie shook him off angrily, turning her glare on him. "It is not enough, Emmett! We've all watched them both get more and more distant – when are we going to say something? After they're gone?"

They locked eyes for several seconds before Emmett turned away. His gaze settled on Alice, who was standing frozen in the doorway. As his eyes locked onto hers, she shook her head the tiniest fraction. Her face was pleading, as if she knew what he was going to say and was asking him to reconsider.

Emmett clearly wasn't going to give in. "She's right, Alice. We've been losing you, little by little, for a long time now. This has gone on long enough."

"You don't have to listen to this," Jasper's voice was low, but still had enough volume for even me to hear. He moved in front of her as if shielding her from the rest of us.

"Yes, she does! Both of you do!" Rosalie was shouting now. "We've had enough of the two of you shutting everyone else out!"

She stepped closer to Alice. "Edward isn't here for you to run to anymore. But what about me? Emmett? Carlisle and Esme? We're the ones who need you now! Elisa needs you! Don't you even care? Why are we all together if we're going to live separate lives? But if that's the way you want it, the two of you can just go ahead and walk out the door."

"You are not in any position to be handing out ultimatums," Jasper closed the distance between them and nearly snarled the words in her face. I shrank back against the wall at the look on his face, but Rosalie didn't back down a bit, returning his glare just as fiercely.

"If you're going to stay, I'm absolutely in the position to hand out ultimatums. Carlisle and Esme did leave me in charge," There was a strong touch of smugness in her tone now, masking the anger. "And I say that no one is going after Sebastian. At least, not yet. As long as we know where he is, we have some time. We're going to wait for Esme and Carlisle and then we will figure this out together." She leveled a glance at Alice and Jasper. "I hope that's clear to everyone."

Alice had been standing silently during Rosalie's tirade but now she crossed her arms and straightened up, her expression cold. "Sebastian could change his mind at any moment and be halfway to here, or even to Italy before we make it out of St. John's. You're willing to risk an awful lot on faith and no matter what you think, it's not solely your decision. You were left in charge of Elisa, Rosalie. Don't let it go to your head. The rest of us don't need you playing Mommy Dearest."

The brief calm was immediately erased from Rosalie's features and her next words were a malevolent hiss. "I suggest, Alice, that you leave the mother comparison remarks to someone who can actually remember having one."

Alice and I gasped at the same time but there was no time to see how Rosalie's words had affected her. Jasper flashed forward and the next thing I knew, he had Rosalie up against the wall. "Apologize!"

There was a roar and another flash and Emmett was there, his large hands closing around Jasper's restraining arms. "Get the hell off of my wife!"

Another blur of movement so quick I couldn't make it out and an enormous crash nearly shook me out of my skin. I ducked instinctively as pieces of the dining room table Emmett and Jasper had slammed into erupted all over the room. The two of them stood toe to toe in the midst of the wreckage, shouting at each other. Alice and Rosalie's higher tones outshrieked them, and the resulting cacophony was so loud I couldn't make out what anyone was saying.

"STOP IT!" I hadn't intended to scream, but the words were out before I could stop them. Belatedly I realized my hands were clasped to my ears.

There was instant silence. The four of them had frozen so quickly it was almost comical, as if they'd been playing a game of Simon Says. They were staring at me as if they'd all forgotten I was there and had to remember who I was. Under normal circumstances, their dumbstruck expressions might have made me laugh, but I was suddenly so furious that I was shaking all over again. "What is wrong with you? How can you all be so mean to each other? I thought you were supposed to be a family! Is that what you meant, Rosalie? Are we all just props? Has it all been pretend?"

I could feel the hot tears spilling down my face, but I couldn't stop. "Maybe you should remember that you're all like a hundred years old. At some point, you might want to grow up." With that, I turned on my heel and ran into the hallway and up the stairs to my room, pounding every single one of the steps as I went. When I got inside, I slammed my newly replaced door so hard that I risked breaking it all over again and twisted the lock on my doorknob.

Pressing my ear to the door, I listened carefully, waiting for the screaming to restart. There was nothing but silence. Of course, they didn't need to raise their voices to argue. Or maybe Alice and Jasper were already gone.

After all, Rosalie was right. What was keeping Alice and Jasper here? Both of them were barely present anymore. There was nothing to hold them. Not Carlisle and Esme, nor Rosalie and Emmett.

And especially not me. I was't Bella. I could never mean to them what she had. Would they have ever fought like this if she'd been the one in danger again? Would Alice and Jasper have even ever considered for a single second leaving her behind?

Of course not. I was just a pale imitation, a shade of the human girl they'd risked everything for. I would never get out from underneath Bella's shadow, even when she wasn't here. Especially now that she was a vampire and she was even better at being better than me.

Underneath the self pity and jealousy that was so strong it was nearly choking me, even underneath the guilt I felt about the directions my thoughts were taking me, was a deep, painful longing. I missed her. I missed her even more than I missed Edward at this moment. Who else could have understood how I was feeling right now? How scared I was? How certain I wasn't worth what they were willing to risk for me? Not the unwanted wanderer. Not the girl who didn't fit.

But she'd left me behind too, hadn't she? And I didn't mean when she'd ran from the campsite with Edward, and I knew she wasn't coming back. She'd left me behind the minute Edward's venom began to flow in her veins. Now she was one of them, cold, beautiful, invincible, unreachable. Bella had taken away the only person in this entire universe who knew what it felt like to be in the midst of a beautiful, perfect family and be anything but. The only one who could understand how strange and wonderful and terrifying it was to be part of their world and how irresistible the draw was, no matter what the cost. The difference was, she'd fallen in love with one person. I'd fallen in love with an entire family. I thought I might even love Jasper, in an I-really-wanted-to-kick-him kind of way.

And now the dream, all the security I had in this crazy world, was falling to pieces. It hadn't been right since Bella had gone and I hated her for it, almost as much as I loved her. I hadn't realized it until this moment. No wonder I'd been so willing to rip her reputation to shreds when I'd needed to come up with a cover story for Tandy and Jimmy. I was punishing her without even realizing it.

What a petty, mean-spirited person I was. No wonder everyone liked her better. But it didn't stop that knowledge from hurting. Everyone I loved here, loved her more. It would always be that way. I would always be second best.

My gaze fell then to the golden bracelet on my wrist and fresh anger and hurt welled up in me. Screw Edward for giving me this, for actually making me believe he cared about me. I remembered his face back at the cabin after Bella had nearly killed me. He hadn't cared in the least. I was nothing more to him then some obstacle he'd kick to the curb in a heartbeat if I got between him and his precious Bella.

And as for Jacob – I was sobbing now as I fumbled with his flower charm. After several seconds I managed to pry if off. With trembling fingers, I flung it into the vintage metal trash can next to my dresser. It hit the bottom with a pained clang that was matched by the skipped beat of my heart. He was just another person whose expectations I could never fill. If I had stayed in La Push when he'd asked me to, it wouldn't have made a difference. I would have just been a distraction for him, a way to get over his true love.

Weariness tugged me down the door and to the ground. I sat with my back pressed to it, my arms folded across my chest. A few more hot tears trickled down my face and I sniffled loudly.

From the other side of the door came a quiet tap.

I froze. The tap came again. It had to be Rosalie or Emmett. My heart twinged a little. I couldn't help but feel bad for including Emmett in all my ranting and raving when he'd always been such a staunch shoulder for me to rely on, but I was still too upset to want to talk to anyone.

"Excuse me but did you not hear the door slamming? In case you've forgotten how to speak teenager, that happens to be code for LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I heard a quiet chuckle. "I guess after all these years of roleplaying, we shouldn't need a translator."

Surprise made my next indignant sentence run back down my throat. "Alice?" I stood up, my hand already reaching for the knob before I snatched it back. If she'd come up here to say goodbye, she could say it to my door. I wasn't interested.

"Go away," I hissed again through gritted teeth.

I heard a whisper quiet sigh in the hall, and without warning, my doorknob twisted. I heard the loud snap as the lock broke and then the door was swinging open.

Alice stepped over the threshold, eyes fixed on me. "I think we're overdue for a chat, don't you, Elisa?"

At her words, the coals of my banked resentment flared even more brightly. Really? She wanted to talk now, after ignoring me and avoiding me for months? Was I just supposed to fall over myself in gratitude that she had finally deigned to acknowledge my existence?

My glower was a full on frontal assault sent her way. "Don't you have some leaving to do?" I snapped, staring pointedly at the door.

The expression on Alice's face at that said quite clearly that she was already teetering at the precipice of her patience. "Sit down, Elisa."

Her eyes crackled at me as she spoke and before I knew it my body had revolted to do her will despite the contrary thoughts in my head and I was sitting on the end of my bed. Huh. I hadn't realized before that she could be every bit as intimidating as Rosalie when she chose to be.

Alice stood silently for several minutes, surveying me with her ebony eyes as I scowled back at her, trying to prove I wasn't completely cowed. A quick distortion in the air, and she was by my side on the bed, curling up with legs tucked under her and back against the wall.

It was another long few seconds before she spoke again. "Elisa...I am so sorry for what went on downstairs. It was inexcusable for us to act that way, especially in light of what's happening right now. I just want you to understand that no matter what issues we may have with each other, every single one of us is committed to you, to being there for you and protecting you. It is our absolute priority."

My gaze locked onto hers. "Is it?" My voice was flat.

Alice stared back at me, and I spoke again before I could chicken out. "Are you leaving, Alice?"

She hesitated just a fraction of a second too long. "No, Elisa, of course not!"

I didn't trust her tone, nor the way her eyes danced away from mine. "Don't lie to me. If you're going to leave me, the least you can do is tell me why first." I pressed my lips together so they wouldn't tremble.

For once, Alice looked completely off kilter. Her eyes flitted all over the room before the finally landed on me again. I could have almost sworn I saw her bite her lip.

Finally she exhaled a long, pained sigh. "Elisa, it's complicated."

"Is that so?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't think it's that complicated, actually. Not when you say it straight out."

"Say what straight out?" Whatever. She knew exactly what I was talking about. The proof was in the lower lip that she was now chewing like a leg of raw venison.

"That you don't want to be around me."

Alice immediately started to protest but I threw up a hand to stop her. I'd been stuffing this for months and my quota was full. I couldn't stand to not throw it out there for one more minute.

"I know that you care about me,' I continued. "But there's something...wrong when you're around me, isn't there?" I refused to look away from her for even a second. "That's why you've been avoiding me. That's why Jasper hates me too, isn't it? Because I'm hurting you."

"Jasper does not hate - "

Alice didn't even get to finish the sentence before I breathed a deeply skeptical "Suuuuure," into the air.

She gave up with a sigh. "You're right." Finally, she looked at me again. "I have been avoiding you, and Jasper's been blaming you, not for anything you did but because he needs a target." She closed her eyes for a long moment. "I have botched everything so badly."

"Alice..." I nudged her with my leg when she didn't finish. "Please, talk to me! If you don't tell me what I'm doing to you, how am I ever going to be able to stop?"

"It's not you, Elisa! It's in my head, too much of it. Too many visions, too much chaos, and I can't control any of it. And when I'm around you, it's so much worse."

"I don't understand," I stared at her. "Aren't they always there, the visions? Aren't you always, like, able to tap into them?"

"Not like this," she shook her head. "I can barely even see what I want to see now, actually. It's so full of shadows, glimpses of people I don't know and places I've never been and it's more and more every day. I can't make it stop. It's relentless. I've tried so hard to be strong, but I can't bear it anymore." She stared across the room, away from me.

"People you don't know? Places you haven't seen? What are you talking about? What could that have to do with me?"

Alice was staring across the room, her eyes hollow. "Before he left, Edward told me it's because I relate to you too much. A young girl, ripped out of her old life, losing her memories..." she shook her head. "I told him he was wrong, but all along I knew I was just lying to myself."

"Memories..." I repeated, turning over everything she'd said in my mind and suddenly, it clicked into place. "I get it."

"Get what?" Alice demanded sharply, turning to gaze at me once more.

Didn't she understand herself what she'd been telling me? I blinked, confused. "Alice, it's not people and places you've never seen that are filling up your head. It's the ones you don't remember."

She gasped at that, and my bewilderment deepened at the stunned expression on her face. "I mean, seriously, that never occurred to you at all? That it's all starting to come back?"

The distraught gaze she returned had my mouth snapping closed and the conscience that had taken a brief siesta during my tantrum returned abruptly, bringing with it friends named guilt and shame.

"Alice, I'm so sorry," I muttered. "You know better than to listen to me. I never know what I'm talking about."

Her voice was wearier than I'd ever heard it before. "We both know that you do."

"No,' I shook my head, willing her to believe me so we could all trot right back to the happyland of denial. "You lost your memories because of the shock treatments. I understand that."

"The venom heals everything," her voice was still as fatigued as before. She touched her head. "Everything,' she repeated for emphasis. "Jasper and Edward, they've tried to tell me before, but they've always been afraid to push me too far. And I've never really let myself hear what they were trying to say. So we've all been pretending for years. Then you come along, and you don't know how to play my game."

"I'm sorry - " I tried to say again but it was her that threw up her hand this time to stop me.

"No, Elisa, I'm sorry. You're fighting so hard to keep your memories and I just threw mine away. I must make you sick."

"Alice!" I spluttered. "Don't you think you're being awfully hard on yourself? How is it so strange that you weren't ready to remember before? I mean, you had a really hard time when you were still human. Something incredibly bizarre was happening to you and you couldn't even talk to anyone about it. I'll bet sometimes you thought maybe you were going crazy or there was something so wrong with you – " I stopped for a second, wincing a little to myself as I realized just how much I was over-relating at the moment. "And then to have your family betray you like that – and I can't even imagine what the hospital must have been like…seriously, who wouldn't want to block that out?"

I was horrified to realize she was shaking. "Oh God. I'm going to stop now, I promise."

To my weak knee'd relief, she actually managed a smile at last. "Honestly, this is rather cathartic."

"Oh," I tried to plaster an expression on my face that said I understood what she meant by that. "OK."

Alice actually chuckled at this point, though I could still see the additional pallor in her already ghost white face. She looked like she was going to say something else but suddenly, something seemed to catch her eye. She seemed to blur in place for a moment and then she held something between her fingers, studying it carefully.

I swallowed hard when I realized what it was. She held Jacob's forget me not carving, the one I'd thrown in the trash earlier.

"Isn't this the charm that Jacob sent you?" she looked at me, puzzled. I was surprised by her question. I had no idea that she'd ever even noticed it, much less that she knew the circumstances behind it.

"I…um…" I couldn't quite meet her eyes. "Yeah. I threw it away."

"I see," Alice's face was understanding, and I was instantly certain that she did indeed see. We were quiet for a moment before she spoke again, sitting up a bit straighter.

"Elisa, is this about what Rosalie said to you the other day? That he would only want to be around you to try and re-create what he had with Bella?"

I didn't have it in me to deny it, so I just nodded.

She took a deep breath. "Look, I know you and Rose are close and I'm not trying to get in the way of that, or say anything to make you respect her less. But she's not always right."

I sighed. "I know. What she said to you downstairs, about your mother...she never should have said that."

"That's not what I was talking about it and you know it."

I couldn't help the rueful smile. "I know. But I'm deflecting. Also, it was really was an awful thing to say."

Alice's own small smile matched. "Rosalie always knows what will cut the deepest."

She waited patiently for me to speak next. After several moments, I finally did. "I know she's not always right. But this time, I think she is. About Jacob, I mean. He wasn't over Bella and I don't know that he ever will be. So right now, all that flower is is just a reminder of something else I can't have."

Alice considered this. "Very wise.' she murmured after a moment. "Still, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you."

She handed the charm to me. My fingers closed over it protectively, happy to have it back. I wasn't ready to put it on again, at least not now, but I knew I couldn't throw it away any more than I could throw away the brief moments Jacob and I shared together.

I shrugged. "I'm a little sad about it,' I admitted. 'but it's not like we were sharing the romance of the century. Besides –' I couldn't help my sudden smile. "There's kinda someone else. This boy at school – " I broke off abruptly. "You don't really want to hear about this."

"Actually, I really do,' To my surprise, Alice was smiling. "I feel like I've missed out on a lot with you these past few months. I want to hear everything."

I wasn't sure whether to believe her at first, but with a few choice questions and encouraging smiles Alice had me spilling my guts in a matter of seconds. I told her everything about Jimmy, from our stand off on the first day of school until our intimate moment on the stairs earlier today, and she listened raptly, eyes sparkling, and breaking into frequent bouts of laughter. I couldn't seem to stop talking, but she seemed to want to hear it all just as much as I wanted to tell it. I hadn't realized how badly I needed this, a moment, away from all the guilt over Bella and fear of Sebastian, a brief respite where I could just be myself again. And maybe she needed the break as much as I did.

The part that Alice laughed the hardest at, much to my shock, was my shame faced admission that I'd painted Bella as a violent heroin addict as a cover story for my injuries when Jimmy and Tandy had confronted me. She laughed so long, in fact, that I began to wonder if I'd broken her somehow.

"Alice, come on, it's not funny! If she ever comes back, how am I going to tell her that my friends think she's a fiending smackhead who tries to kill anyone who stops her from getting her fix?"

Alice went off into gales of laughter again at this, and it was a couple of minutes before she calmed down enough to speak again. "Elisa, look. This wasn't just your fault. The car accident story was flimsy at best. We should have known that someone would see through it, but we've all been so distracted." Her amusement faded for a moment. "Rosalie is right about something else, as pained as I am to admit it. Divided, we're weak. We let things slip through the cracks."

She smiled again. "Don't worry so much. What you said wasn't the most awful thing ever. I mean, it's realistic. Drug addiction occurs in the best of families as well as the worst. And besides, Bella has other priorities now. When she does come back, I have a feeling that she's not going to care nearly as much as you think she is."

"Yeah, well..." I traced a line on the floor with my shoe.

"On the other hand, maybe we just won't tell Edward," Alice smirked at me and I had to giggle too at that, imagining his infuriated expression.

"This boy, Jimmy...tell me more about him," Alice's expression turned contemplative as she changed the subject back to lighter topics. "It sounds like you really like him."

"I don't know,' I couldn't help my wistful tone. "I mean, I think I do, but today was so weird. I mean, at first he's all ready to be my knight in shining armor, but the second he finally makes his move, he freaks and bails for no reason! How am I supposed to keep up with his multiple personalities?"

Alice chuckled again, and I jumped slightly as she leaned forward to smooth my hair back from my face. I couldn't remember the last time she'd touched me. "Elisa, the males of our species are grossly emotionally stunted even at quite an advanced age, and you know I'm talking about Edward." She grinned at my giggles. "And Jimmy is a fifteen year old boy, which means that emotionally, he's about five. He probably has no idea what he's doing half the time. One thing I do think is obvious though: he cares pretty strongly for you as well. Enough to fight for you. Enough to stand up for you against his best friend. I think this one is a keeper."

I suddenly felt better than I had in ages. "Thank you, Alice, for listening. It really helps."

Alice was still playing with my hair lightly. "It was my pleasure," Her smile faded slowly as she dropped her hand and she sat up. Before she looked away from me, I saw the fresh pain in her eyes.

"Alice..." I tugged on her sleeve, refusing to let her slip away, not when I'd just gotten her back. "What is it?"

Alice turned back to me, trying to force herself to smile again. "It's just...I can't help wondering if this is what it was like."

"What do you mean?" I asked, unable to follow her abrupt change of thought.

"To have a little sister, " Alice explained, her eyes far away. "I can't help but wonder if I was good to mine when I was alive. Did I cheer her up when she was sad? Did she talk to me about boys? Did I give her advice? I don't know if I'll ever remember. I don't even know if her face is one of the ones filling my head. If I could choose, if I could only ever get back one piece of my mortal life, it would be her. Cynthia." Alice said her name full of a bittersweet longing that made me ache for her.

Alice stood up then, appearing to shake off her melancholy like a wet dog shakes off water. "Come on, Elisa, let's go downstairs. Jasper's been making Rosalie feel horribly guilty for the last hour and she's about to crack and try to apologize. It'll be fun to listen to her stammer."

She reached for my hand and I took it, but I didn't stand up. She turned back to me curiously. "What's wrong?"

I could barely breathe. The pit that had just settled into my stomach felt like it weighed a million pounds and was anchoring me permanently in place. All I could think about now was the day on Bella and Edward's patio, the vision I'd fallen into, the girl with the piercing blue eyes so much like her older sister's.

I suddenly felt like the lowest human being on the planet, almost physically sick as I realized the magnitude of my crime. Alice would have given anything to see her sister Cynthia's face just one more time. Well, I had seen it. I had even drawn it. I held at least some of the missing pieces of the puzzle she so desperately wanted to put back together.

And I had kept them from her.

"Elisa?" Alice asked again, the alarm on her face deepening as she stared at me.

I swallowed convulsively hard, willing the words to flow. I couldn't be a coward now. She deserved better than that.

"Alice, I have something to tell you."

As my indecision settled into certainty, words were no longer necessary. Alice's face went blank for a minute, and when awareness sprang back into her features so did the deepest look of shock I could ever recall seeing on another person's face.

* * *

The second Cullen family summit of the day took place in my bedroom, mostly because Alice and I were both so frozen in place that we couldn't move. She sat beside me on the bed, her face as rigid and as pale as a porcelain doll. Jasper knelt on the other side of her but apparently a sense of calm was as foreign to him as it was to me, because he didn't seem to be able to get any of us to relax, especially after the story I'd been babbling out for the last thirty minutes.

There was an excruciatingly long silence after I was done speaking. At least Rosalie and Emmett were staring at each other instead of me. In fact, now that I thought about it, neither one of them had looked me in the eye after my insane story about shared visions and stolen memories had begun.

"Please say something, somebody, please," I begged. I watched Alice out of the corner of my eye, but she was as stiff and as unresponsive as ever.

"I can't believe you kept this from me!" Rosalie burst out and I immediately missed the silence as she glared at me. "After everything I've done for you, Elisa, how could you not trust me with what was going on?"

A bitter laugh had us spinning, startled, in Alice's direction. Her eyes were glacial as they landed on Rosalie. "Kept it from you?"

"Alice..." I croaked, barely able to get the words at as nervousness closed around my throat and threatened to throttle me. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I was just...at first I wasn't even sure that I didn't imagine everything. And then - "

"I know, Elisa. I understand," The strain in Alice's voice was clear. She was trying so hard that it was if she might break apart with the effort.

"How do you know you didn't imagine everything?" Rosalie demanded now of me, putting her hands on her hips. "I mean, flights of fancy are not exactly rare for you, are they, Elisa? The day that you think you had that vision, you said yourself that you'd fainted while you were in the kitchen with Bella. Besides, when you dreamed of Alice and her family...well, that's exactly my point. You were asleep!"

Alice had flinched convulsively at Rosalie's words. Jasper was beside her now. hands on her trembling shoulders as if to keep her in one place. I could see how much the thought of my story not being true hurt her, even more so than the fact that I'd kept it from her in the first place.

"It was real!" My words were for Alice just as much as Rosalie. "I played the song for you, Rosalie, remember? Gymnopedie?""

"So? Lots of people play the piano!" Rosalie shook back her golden mane impatiently.

"Well, I don't," I said flatly. Everyone was looking at me now, and I could see the hope struggling with confusion on Alice's face. "I don't know how to play the piano. I can't even read music."

Disbelief left Rosalie's face at last and she closed her eyes for a long moment before she opened them and gave me a hard look. "Well, I'll say this for you, Elisa. You sure know how to keep bringing the drama."

I winced, stung by her words. Emmett touched Rosalie's arm. "Hey, back off. It's not like we weren't expecting something like this to happen eventually."

"What?" I demanded.

Before Emmett could answer Alice stood up, moving in front of me. "Elisa, your drawing...I need to see it. Please."

"I, um... " Apprehension settled into every pore of me as I registered her request. Of course she wanted to see the drawing of Cynthia. If I'd thought any of this through, I would have been prepared. Truth be told, I had no idea where it was. The last time I'd seen it was when Jasper had showed it to me in Esme's drawing room, and so far, I'd managed to avoid mentioning his part in this at all. I'd just have to stall until he could get it to me.

"I think I um…misplaced it but I'll find it, I swear. Just give me a few - "

"I have it." The words were so quietly spoken that I almost missed them, except for the look on Alice's face. Whip fast, she turned to face Jasper, their eyes locking together. The rest of his confession did not need to be spoken out loud. It was written in every line on his face.

Alice's eyes went from bewilderment to comprehension within seconds, and then darkened with a hurt so deep that it was agonizing to watch.

"_Not you_."

It took the space of one heartbeat to comprehend what had changed, that I was still standing there, Jasper was still frozen in place two feet away, and that there was suddenly an ocean size chasm between us.

As soon as I realized she was gone, I was running.

Distantly I registered that Emmett had reached out to try and stop me. I pushed past him, screaming her name, racing through the hallway and down the steps to the front of the house and outside into the gray, misty rain.

"Alice, come back!" I knew it was useless, knew she had already gone far enough that she couldn't hear me, and yet I couldn't stop crying her name. "Alice, please, don't leave! Come back!"

"Elisa, stop!" Rosalie grabbed my arm and I came to a complete, unwilling halt. "She's gone!"

"No!" I yanked my arm back from her and turned towards the forest. "ALICE!" I screamed the last towards the trees.

"Elisa, stop, please. Let her go." Emmett's voice was quieter, and it held a note of pain that broke through my own haze of anger and denial. I swallowed back the shout that was halfway out of my throat.

I saw him at that moment. Jasper was mere inches away from me, staring at the treeline with a desperation miles beyond mine.

Instant rage sparked again at the sight of him. "How could you do this?" I was shouting again, beyond control, even as Rosalie's grip tightened on me in warning. "I was trying to cover for you! Why did you tell her?"

Jasper looked at me then and the naked agony on his face should have stopped me in my tracks, but it was too close to what I was feeling and the resulting guilt just made me angrier. "Why are you just standing here? Go after her! Bring her back!"

"She doesn't want me to."

I opened my mouth to protest, but there was nothing left to say. I turned then, burying myself into Rosalie open arms as I began to sob.

"Come on, Elisa," her voice was far gentler than I deserved. "We need to go back inside."

I turned back as she and Emmett put me between them and led me away, long enough to see Jasper sink to the ground and put his head in his hands. My anger extinguished in less than a second. I wanted more than anything in that instant to tell him how sorry I was, but I knew anything I said would mean less than nothing to him.

So I let Emmett and Rosalie take me inside the house, Emmett accidentally banging the front door closed too hard behind us. There was an ear splitting crash as the patterned glass around the frame shattered into a million pieces.

Just like the rest of the world.

* * *

Saturday dawned finally after a long night of no sleep, looking even more gray and dismal then the day before. The house still felt excruciatingly empty and silent. Carlisle and Esme were still trying to get a flight home, but they'd been grounded in Seattle all night because of storm warnings, so who knew when they'd be back. And what would I say to them when they got home, anyway?

As for Jasper, I hadn't seen him at all since my last glimpse of him outside. For all I knew, he was gone too. I could have asked, but I didn't. I didn't want to know.

I'd been laying on my bed all morning still wearing the same clothes I'd worn yesterday, staring at the ceiling just like I'd been doing for hours, trying not to think. Yeah, as if there was any chance of that.

I blinked back another stream of never-ending tears and flipped over onto my stomach, trying to lose myself in my favorite book, A Little Princess, but even its familiar tale was unable to distract me from thinking about everyone I'd lost lately. My family. Edward and Bella. Alice.

The smell wafted at me from my night table, and I looked idly at the source, an untouched plate of delicious looking donuts that Emmett had brought me for breakfast hours earlier. I didn't want his offerings of food, or comfort. I didn't want anything at all except for the universe to fall in on my head. I was pretty sure that even the sight of Sebastian climbing through my window, armed with knife, fork and a plastic bib that read 'Welcome to the All You Can Eat Elisa Cullen Buffet!' wouldn't be enough to rouse me from my apathy.

Just as my pity party of one was gearing into full swing, my cell phone went off.

I jumped a mile, staring at it as it buzzed impatiently on my nightstand, and then grabbed it, frantically pushing the Answer button. "Alice?"

"Uh...no," I was startled all over again by the hesitant voice. "Elisa, this is Jimmy."

"Jimmy?" I gasped. OK, so apparently there was something that could distract me, and of course it was a boy. I was shallower than a Paris Hilton biography. "Um, hey!"

"Hey," he sounded a little more like himself now. "I just wanted to check on you. You kinda bailed early yesterday and I didn't know if was because of..." he broke off, clearly nervous.

"OH!" My heart thudded as it all came rushing back. It had seemed like a million years ago, our lip on lip action on the stone steps of the school. I could barely believe it had only been yesterday. "No, Jimmy, it wasn't anything that you did." Or didn't do, I silently amended to myself. "I just had a huge migraine."

"OK, good." I could hear the relief in his voice and I impatiently waited for more. He'd called to explain, hadn't he, why he had bolted in the middle of our climactic romance scene?

"What's going on, Elisa, really? You sound upset. Did something else happen?"

I took a deep breath, surprised once again at his insight, and then prepared to delve into the best cover story ever to make up for my subterfuge fail of the day before.

My self resolve and stiff upper lip lasted for all of about 30 seconds. Before I knew it I was sobbing out a highly sanitized version, skipping of course all the vampirey and secret visions bits, of what had happened with Alice.

He was unbelievably patient, especially for a fifteen year boy. When my verbal onslaught finally slowed down enough for him to get in a word in edgewise, his voice was shockingly gentle.

"Hey, Elisa, look, take a breath. It's going to be OK. I mean, you guys had a lot going on, between what went down with Bella and you, and everything. Alice is probably just as freaked as everyone else, and then add the fight with...sorry, I can't remember his name. Has anybody ever told you you have too many cousins? Anyway, it was probably just...too much, you know? She needs to be elsewhere for a while, get some space to think. She'll be back."

I sniffled loudly. "You really think so?"

"Aw, come on, Elisa, who could stay away from you?" His tone was playful now, but I couldn't help the fact that my heart stuttered and then began to pound loudly at his words.

"Thanks," I twirled a few strands of hair around my finger, shifting on the bed to get more comfortable. "I'm sorry I'm such a basket case today."

"No problem. You've had a shit week. Believe me, I understand. Hey, you know what you need? You should get out of there for a while. I have to go to the mall today to get a present for my sister's birthday. Why don't you come with me?"

"Really?" I sat up, sunshine bursting through the clouds of my day, only to immediately be drenched by Hurricane Rosalie, who'd just appeared in my doorway, her face stern. My heart sank. Clearly, she'd been listening. And with Sebastian possibly coming back to St. John's to try to snack on me like I was tasty Elisa McNuggets, there was no way in hell she was going to let me leave the house. Possibly never ever again.

"Um...I have to ask. Hang on." I already knew the answer but I put my hand over the speaker anyway and stared at her pleadingly.

Rosalie folded her arms and clenched her jaw, looking completely unmoved for an endless second until unexpectedly, her expression softened. "Tell him only if Emmett and I can drive you two."

"Are you kidding me?" I burst out and then winced, realizing I had just smacked my gift horse on the ass and sent it running away. "Really? I mean...really?"

Rosalie's mouth quirked. "Yes, really, Elisa."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I babbled and then immediately prayed that Jimmy hadn't overheard me. I sounded way too over-eager.

I couldn't help but add, "Um...but you and Emmett are going to stay with us?" It was impossible to disguise my disappointed tone. Ths was my first not-a-date-but-close-enough since I'd been reborn into this universe and I was going to have overprotective and unfortunately lethal chaperones. How totally embarrassing.

Rosalie put her hands on her hips, but she couldn't seem to force a stern expression. "I can't believe I'm letting you do this, but no. You two are on your own. We'll be around though. I'll give you as much privacy as we can, but we have to keep you safe."

Ignoring the last bit as much as possible, I told Jimmy my good news and we set up a time. After we hung up, glee had me bouncing off the bed. "Rosalie, you are the best!" I dashed over to my closet, but after five seconds of searching through overstuffed hangers without any idea of what I was looking for I gave up. "I gotta run down to the laundry and get that white sweater dress I wore last week."

Rosalie gave me a strange look. "Don't bother. We put it in the charity box."

"What?" I turned back to her, startled. "But I only wore it once!"

Rosalie shrugged. "That's about as often as Alice lets us wear any of our clothes before she replaces them." She realized what she said too late and quickly changed the subject. "Do you want me to help you pick something?"

"Yes," I answered immediately, relieved to leave that painful subject behind as well, and with that, we fell into a intense scrutiny of my wardrobe.

* * *

The Avalon shopping center was the local mall in St. John's, the holy grail of consumerism that I'd only dared to hope that existed after living months in decidedly un-shopper friendly Forks. Rosalie and Emmett pulled up at the circular front entrance after an awkward fifteen minute car ride, where Emmett had boomed question after question at Jimmy, practically forcing him to give a detailed biography of his entire life. I was SO glad Rosalie had taken pity on me and wasn't going to chaperone us. An hour or two with my overprotective adopted brother and Jimmy would be so traumatized he'd have to join the Witness Protection Program.

Rosalie, on the other hand, was actually going out of her way to make Jimmy more comfortable. I was going to owe her so big. She smiled at us as we started to get out of the car. "We've got some errands to run, so we'll be back in a couple of hours. Call if you need us sooner," she informed us.

I quickly deciphered her doublespeak. In other words, they'd be patrolling within screaming distance, but hopefully not within overhearing distance. Or visual distance, if I was really lucky and he decided to repeat the scene on the stairs, without interruptions this time. Hastily, I felt my purse to make sure I still had my cinnamon Trident.

I was hoping to get Jimmy away from Emmett before the inevitable threats of bodily harm ensued, but no such luck.

"Hey!" Emmett barked after us as we tried to make a hasty retreat. We turned back, and he was out of the car, standing next to us, eyes on Jimmy. He grinned the way a lion grins at a lame zebra.

"It was nice meeting you, James," His use of Jimmy's full first name was deliberate, I was sure, and my suspicions were confirmed when he gave Jimmy a manly slap on the back that sent him stumbling forward several feet. "I'm sure you'll take good care of Elisa. Cause if you don't, I'll make sure no one ever find your body. Have fun, kids!" With that, he jumped back in the car and they sped out of the parking lot, burning rubber the whole way.

"Oh my God," I covered my blooming face in my hand. "I'm so sorry about that."

"It's OK," Jimmy grinned, though he was still wheezing slightly from the force of Emmett's blow. "He's got that protective thing going on. It's cool."

I giggled in response, partly because I was relieved that he didn't take it personally, and partly because he had NO idea.

"I didn't know you had a sister," I said as we walked inside, winding our way through the throng of fellow shoppers. I wasn't sure where we were stopping first, so I let him lead the way.

"Oh, yeah," Jimmy ruffled his hair slightly. "That's because she doesn't live at home. Her name's Julie. She goes to the university in Toronto. Next week she'll be twenty-one."

"Are you guys close?" I asked curiously as we continued to walk.

Jimmy shrugged. "Sure. I mean, we didn't used to be. Kind of a big age difference. She was always bossing me around, and I was always messing with her and making her crazy. Last year though, she really came through for me when things were bad with my mom and dad. I didn't expect her to...you know, understand so much, I guess."

"That's cool," I wished I understood a little bit more. I knew there was a lot more going on in Jimmy's family life then he was saying. But I didn't know how to broach the subject and he was already changing it anyway.

"So I think I'm going to get her...I don't know, like a necklace or something." He pointed at a jewelry store several yards ahead. "But I suck at picking out stuff for girls, so I'm hoping you can help me out."

"Well, I am an expert," I smiled at him, though I felt a pang in my heart. I had always been quite the mall troller, but the mention of shopping experts immediately brought back thoughts of Alice once again, whose marathon buying sessions put my little sprees to shame.

Jimmy gave me a quizzical look and I smiled as brightly as I could. "Don't we have some gift buying to do?"

After buying his sister's present, the two of us spent the next half hour dashing out of different stores, with no real goal in particular. Jimmy even waited for me after I forced him into one of Alice's favorite boutiques and went to try a glorious ensemble that had been on display in the store window. Of course, that lasted only as long as boy patience did, which was about four minutes. Then he snuck around to the back of the stall where I was changing and starting kicking it to get my attention until the saleslady threw us both out.

We were still laughing over her infuriated expression when a thin wift of smoke drifted past us. I wrinkled my nose, about to sneeze, when the smell hit me.

It was heavy, perfumed, and too, too familiar.

Jimmy was cut off in mid-sentence as I spiralled around, looking for the source and found it almost immediately. Lazy puffs of incense smoke were wafting out of the shop just to the left and across the crowded corridor from where we stood. I stared, open-mouthed, at the displays I could see glimpses of between the shoppers that stood between us.

"Nancy..." I whispered, and then I was running, pushing people out of my way, desperate to get inside the shop before it could disappear like some out of reach mirage.

Within seconds, I was in front of the counter. A bored looking man with long graying hair in a pony tail looked up from his magazine. "Can I help you with something?"

Disappointment hurtled itself into me. "No," I shook my head and stumbled backwards, nearly tripping over a stack of books titled Your Spirit Guide to Love. Next to them, a rack full of oils jangled, threatening to fall. "Watch it!" he barked.

I knew now why this store seemed so familiar, and who I'd been so stupidly hopeful I'd find. It was some kind of alternative, new age store, just like the one I'd met Nancy in, back in my old life. Even some of the inventory was the same, though this store was far brighter than Nancy's had been. Or maybe it was just my memories that were so dimly lit.

But of course, this wasn't Nancy's store. This wasn't even her world.

"Hey, Elisa, what's going on?"

I jumped a mile as Jimmy's voice sounded in my ear. "Nothing; I just thought - " As I tried to explain, I made the mistake of looking around at the too familiar sights and suddenly they were back, screaming in my head, the memories I'd thought were nearly lost to me, far too vivid, too real, and they took me away with them.

To the last time I'd been in Nancy's store.

The night that I died.

I could see her again again, huddled on the floor in front of the counter, blood from her broken nose dripping on to her shirt, staring at me in horror. "ELISA, NO!"

And I saw him, the disheveled man that stood over her as he spun towards me. I saw the flash of the gun as it went off, I felt myself fly back and when I landed on the ground it wasn't the carpet of the store I felt beneath my back, but the cold, hard pavement of the rain-washed street in Forks.

I couldn't scream; there wasn't breath enough in me for that. Frantically, I pushed Jimmy out of the way, ten times as desperate to get out of there as I'd been to get in. But this time I did trip, my feet catching on another stack of books. They scattered everywhere as I fell into a nearby shelf full of candles. My weight knocked the whole thing over and I dropped hard on top of it, the wood shelves digging into my chest.

"Elisa!"

Jimmy was trying to pull me to my feet, but the shopkeeper was bearing down on us at full speed, bellowing like an enraged bull. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Back off! Can't you see she's upset?" Jimmy shouted back as he tried to help me push myself off the shelf without doing any further damage.

"Ask me if I give a shit! Look at what she's done! Get your crazy girlfriend out of my store NOW!"

I was more than happy to get out of Dodge as quickly as possible, but just as I stumbled back to my feet, a tag on one of the fallen candles caught my tear-filled eyes. I snatched it up. turning to the purple faced store owner.

"Wait, I want to buy this! I have money, please - "

"Are you deaf? Get the hell out of my store before I call security!"

"And tell them what? That we over-paid for your crappy merchandise?" Jimmy snapped back. He reached into his pocket and threw a couple of bills onto the counter, then grabbed my hand and dragged me away while the man sputtered furiously behind us.

We didn't speak as Jimmy tugged me through the crowd and over to the food court. We made our way to a vacant table and he pushed me gently into a seat. I was still hyperventilating as he sat himself onto the plastic tabletop, then turned and put his feet on the seat next to me.

When I'd calmed down enough that he apparently considered me ready for rational conversation once more he leaned down towards me. "What was that all about?"

"I'm sorry,' I whispered. "I know I'm acting insane. I just...that store, it reminded me of..." I swallowed hard, trying to put the right words together. "It was the last place that..." I struggled to find something as close to the truth as I could get. "The last place I saw my father, I mean before he - before my family - "

"Oh, God," Jimmy blanched as he realized what I was trying to say. "I'm so sorry."

I wanted to put up a brave front and say I was alright, but there was no way I could even begin to keep up that facade. So I just wiped my wet eyes with my free hand and we sat there in silence for another ten minutes, his warm fingers occasionally squeezing my cold ones.

"Oh," I finally managed, looking for my purse. "Let me pay you back for that candle."

Jimmy snorted. "No way. Consider it a gift." He gave me a curious look. "Why did you want it so bad, anyway?"

"It's...hard to explain," I looked down at the candle and its accompanying silver plate as I spoke.

"It's ok. You don't have to tell me." Jimmy jumped down from the table. "Come on, I'll buy you a pita."

I actually managed to smile at that. "No, I'll buy YOU a pita. After all, you did overpay for my crappy merchandise."

Jimmy snorted. "Stop trying to bogart my chivalry here, OK?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that as he led me over to the long line in front of Extreme Pita.

All the way there, his hand stayed firmly clasped around mine.

* * *

That evening, I sat on the hard wood window seat at the end of the hallway leading to my window, staring out the rain spotted window until the last of the light faded into black night. When every bit of glum daylight had been swallowed up by darkness, I picked up the candle sitting next to me and the long silver lighter I had borrowed from the downstairs fireplace mantle.

My fingers trembled slightly as I lit the wick and set the candle carefully on top of its silver holder, directly in front of the window.

"Hey, kid. What are you up to?"

The flame of my candle flickered lightly as Emmett appeared next to me and I quickly cupped a protective hand around it until it stilled. Emmett looked at me curiously. "What's this all about?"

Silently, I handed him the tag that had come with it.

" 'The Wanderer's Candle' ", Emmett read out loud. "One of the candles earliest uses was as a beacon of light, set in a window to guide travelers that had lost their way. Honor this tradition by setting The Wanderer's Candle in your own windowsill and keep it lit to guide a loved one back home once more.' "

"She'll see it, won't she, Emmett?"

Emmett's hand dropped to my shoulder and he squeezed it lightly. "Absolutely."

Rosalie appeared at the end of the hallway, gesturing to me. "Time for bed, Elisa."

I was so exhausted that I could barely keep my eyes open but still, I was reluctant to leave my candle to burn on its own. Rosalie followed my gaze. "It won't go out. We'll watch over it for you, I promise." She sighed then. "It's the least I can do."

I gave its bright flame one last glance, and with that, I turned and walked away.

_**To be continued...(yes, really! OK, probably.)**_

_**Thank you for reading!**_

_**AND THANK YOU so much to the readers that kept reviewing, favoriting, and nagging all through my year of epic fail. I'm not going to make any promises about what's going to happen in the future with this story, but I really want to finish Evening Falls, even if I never write another Twi-Fic. However, writing does take quite a bit of both time and concentration, two things I'm generally in short supply of. I'll do my best.**_


	24. Sacrificial

Previously in Evening Falls, _Carlisle and Esme went to Seattle to meet with the wolf pack and re-negotiate the treaty. _ _Sebastian sent Elisa a card that put the whole family into a tailspin. To make life even better, Elisa confessed to Alice that she'd been having visions of her human life and Jasper jacked everything up even more by revealing he'd known about it all along, causing Alice to split. _ _Also, Elisa is crushing even harder on Jimmy after much hand holding and bonding at the mall._

_And here's the next chapter! This was my attempt at writing a short one. *headdesk* Hope you enjoy it!  
_

**Chapter 24: Sacrificial**

In my former life, I'd attended plenty of family meetings. Some of them were to talk about chores and who kept leaving the toilet seat up. Sometimes they were to discuss where we might go on vacation. Usually they were held to talk about the latest way in which I had managed to epically screw something up.

How could I have ever imagined, even in my rather vivid dreams, that one day I'd sit down with a family full of vampires and discuss topics like werewolf peace treaties and how to keep sociopathic frenemies at bay?

And of course, the latest way in which I had managed to epically screw something up.

These random thoughts occurred to me as I sat down at the dining room table for our third meeting in as many days. Between Sebastian's stalkery and Alice's unscheduled bail, we were in definite crisis mode. At least Carlisle and Esme, who'd made it back from Seattle late last night, were helming this one, so it probably wouldn't be as dramatic as the last two. I fervently hoped.

I was the last one to be seated and Carlisle waited patiently to speak until I'd settled in. Rosalie and Emmett sat on either side of me. I tried my hardest to not notice the empty side of the table across from me, wher the four unoccupied chairs sat. How could we even call this a family meeting if half the family was gone? No Edward, Bella, Alice...no Jasper.

I had no idea where Jasper had gone and no inclination to ask. No one had mentioned him since I'd last seen him the day before yesterday, when Alice had left. I supposed without her here, he hadn't felt any need to stick around. As much as that hurt, I hoped he'd gone after her. Perhaps they were together now. I wanted that for them, to know that they still had each other even if they'd chosen to leave us. To believe I hadn't ruined that for them after all.

"First of all, I'm sure you all want to know what happened in Seattle,' Carlisle was saying now, and I was grateful for the distraction from my own morose thoughts. "The meeting with Sam and the elders went well. We were able to agree to amend the treaty. On our end, we have given our word that we will stay away from both Forks and La Push unless there is an emergency and we've been granted permission to return. On the wolves part, now that they know where we are, they have agreed that none of them will set foot on Newfoundland soil at all, not that I can imagine any of them having a need to, unless again, there is an emergency. We will share information back and forth concerning any threats on either end."

Emmett nodded. "Sounds reasonable to me."

Rosalie exhaled, looking irritated. She'd been very against letting the werewolves know where we were, and I could tell by her expression that her stance on the issue had not wavered at all.

Carlisle took a deep breath now and I was startled to see he was looking directly at me. "There was something else brought up in Seattle, and it concerns you, Elisa. And Jacob."

My head shot up. "What? Did you see him? Is he OK?"

Esme and Carlisle exchange worried looks before Carlisle turned back to me. "No, we did not see him, and I am afraid to say that from what Sam had to tell us, he is not doing well. He took Bella's departure much harder than his pack had hoped for, and when the news came about what had happened to her, and that she is now...changed, he completely lost control. Apparently, in his opinion Bella is dead, murdered, and the responsiblity for this lies in our hands."

Rosalie glared now. "I told you both this was a bad idea! What, is he coming after us now too? As if we didn't have enough to worry about already!"

Esme looked at my pale face and reached over to put her cool hand on mine. She began where Carlisle had left off. "Sam has ordered him not to. In fact, that was the only reason why he was willing to tell us so much about what he certainly considered a private pack matter. He was concerned that with this latest development that Jacob would use his new knowledge to try and circumvent his orders somehow."

Carlisle was still looking at me. "The one loophole that Sam is concerned that he may not have been able to close is you, Elisa. We all agree that if Jacob can find the means to contact you, he will do so, whether it's for information or even to use you against us. It's important that you be on guard, and if he does manage to reach you, we must know immediately."

I nodded. "Of course. I promise." The tears that had begun to form in my eyes were rapidly drying, and white hot fury was blazing through me now, chasing away the pity I'd been feeling just seconds ago. What the hell was wrong with Jacob? He'd let Bella go! I thought he'd finally realized it was for the best, that he loved her enough to want her to be safe. How sad that he couldn't find it within himself to at least be happy that his best friend was still alive. And just the idea that he would use me, if he got the chance, against my own family all for empty, pointless revenge disgusted me. In a way, I almost hoped he try, because there was more than a few things I had to say to him.

Esme gave my hand a comforting squeeze before she let it go. "He's been ordered not to contact you in any way. It's very unlikely that he will be able to get around that, Elisa, but he's managed it before, so we needed to let you know."

"Let's move on," Carlisle's face became even more solemn. Suddenly Sebastian's card was on the table in front of him. "We have another serious matter to decide. We need to come to a decision about what to do about Sebastian."

"Let's kill him,' Emmett suggested immediately.

Carlisle looked pained, but it passed quickly, to be replaced by his usual calm expression. "Rosalie?" he looked at her now.

Rosalie was slower to respond, but after a few seconds, she nodded. "I have to agree. We can't predict what he'll do next, especially without Alice here. It's too much of a risk."

"Esme?"

"You know him the best. What do you think, Carlisle?" Esme was winding her fingers through her husband's now, watching him carefully.

"I think..." Carlisle looked down at the card and sighed. "I think that Sebastian could be a danger to all of us, as much as it pains me to say it. And yet - " he studied the card closely again. "I think his promise is sincere."

"You can't bet on that, Carlisle!" Rosalie burst out. "Look at what happened to Bella! And this is Elisa's life we're talking about here. We can't take chances and hope for the best!"

"I understand that," Carlisle held up a placating hand. "But please, hear me out. I don't believe he sent this message to threaten Elisa. He's bargaining with us. He'll keep our secret if we don't try to kill him. In his own perverse way, he's extending an olive branch."

"If I may interject," The flat words came from the doorway, and when they sounded I gasped and jumped so violently that my chair tipped back and would have dumped me on the floor if not for Emmett's quick intervention.

"Jasper1" I choked out. "Sorry,' I gasped as the attention in the room briefly turned to me. "I just didn't realize you were still.. never mind. Go on with what you were saying."

They had already turned back to Jasper, who was speaking again. "Forgive me. I'm not trying to be impolite by interrupting, Carlisle, or with what I'm about to say, but I have to be honest. I don't know that we can trust your judgement when it comes to Sebastian. I know how you feel about him, and love can cloud one's perception immensely."

Although Rosalie had just been saying basically the same thing a few seconds ago, she and Emmett were immediately defensive on Carlisle's behalf. "How dare you - " Rosalie hissed at the same time Emmett growled at his brother in a way frighteningly reminescent of their recent fight.

"_Stop_."

It was amazing, the power that Carlisle's quiet edict had. Rosalie and Emmett went silent so fast that it was as if someone had pushed the mute button on a remote control. Jasper remained where he was, leaning against the wall. He did not continue.

"Please, just listen to me. All of you' Carlisle indicated the three of them with a tilt of his head, "are free to make your own decisions. However, you all made the choice to stay with me. You've looked to me as the head of our household, not always a position I wanted and yet I've taken it as my place because I have been honored by the trust you've placed in me. If you still respect me, listen to what I'm saying now. I realize I have regarded Sebastian with sentimental eyes. I always believed that we were the one line he would not cross. Now I know better and I regret my lapse in judgement greatly. If we had lost Bella, or Elisa, because of my foolishness...'

He broke off and changed direction. "We all know Sebastian will not go down easily. I believe, if we were to go after him, we would best him in the end, but at what cost? Which one of us would he kill first?" Carlisle stopped for a moment, staring downward, before he looked up again. "We nearly lost Bella, and Edward would have surely followed. Irina is dead. We can no longer count the rest of her brethren as friends. Have we not lost enough? Who else can be sacrificed in the name of revenge?"

"What about Elisa?" I jumped as Rosalie spoke. "Sebastians' promises are worth nothing. What is to stop him from going to the Volturi and revealing her?"

"Because Sebastian will not do anything unless it benefits him, Rosalie. I know the Volturi's terms for accepting Sebastian into their ranks. Giving them Elisa will not satisfy their requirements. All it would do is incur our wrath. He stands to lose much more than he gains by giving her up."

"And he would lose the enjoyment of holding her over our heads," Jasper's mouth quirked into a bitter smile. "It's always about the game for Sebastian. This one could entertain him for years."

"So he might not be coming after me after all, " I spoke before I meant to. "He just likes screwing with you guys, is that what you're saying?"

Carlisle's mouth quirked. "In a nutshell, yes." His face sobered. "Sebastian is not known for hunting humans. Please don't misunderstand me. He's killed his share. What I'm saying however, is that he would definitely enjoy using you as a bargaining chip, but unless it benefitted him in some way I cannot even imagine what purpose it would serve him to risk his life by coming after you."

I looked down at the patterns in the wood grain, processing this for a moment.

"So, Elisa,' Carlisle spoke after a moment. "What are your thoughts on this?"

"I get a vote?" I burst out, startled.

"Of course, Elisa. This affects you as much as any of us." It was Esme who spoke now.

"Hold up,' Emmett raised a hand. "Sorry, Elisa, I don't mean to interrupt, but I have to ask. Carlisle, what about Bella? She almost died, and Sebastian had a hand in it! Edward's not here, but we all know what he wants. He wants Sebastian dead, and how can any of us blame him? If he wants me to help him do it, I'm there. No question."

Carlisle nodded. "Edward and Bella have as much right, no, more so than any of us, to be heard on this. However, they are not here and we aren't able to contact them at the moment. This decision needs to be made now, but when they do return, we will certainly re-address the matter." He turned back to me. "Elisa?"

I took a deep breath. As much as I was gratified that I would have a say in this decision, it was also terrifying. So much rested on this...

After a moment, I forced myself to speak. "I personally think that Sebastian should be burned at the stake. But you asked who we could sacrifice for revenge. I say no one. I do trust your judgement, Carlisle, and I don't want anybody to risk their lives, especially not now."

"I agree," Esme folded her hands together. "Jasper?"

Jasper sighed. "We're too divided to act right now. It makes us weak. So...let him be. Only for now, however. I'm with Emmett. If Edward and Bella decide differently, I stand with them."

I am certain we are all agreed on that," Carlisle said. "For now, however, we stay our hand. Are we all in agreement?"

I looked at Emmett and Rosalie. Neither one of them looked comfortable with the decision, but slowly, both of them nodded.

"Thank you," Carlisle said. "I've said what I need to say this evening. Does anyone else wish to speak about anything?"

Before anyone spoke, Jasper turned towards the doorway, apparently feeling his part in all this was finished.

Esme clearly felt differently. She was behind him immediately, placing a restraining hand on his shoulder. "We do still have some unfinished business here, and as a member of this family, you are expected to stay and participate."

Jasper had stopped in the doorway as she spoke, his back to us and his frame still rigid.

Esme continued, still speaking to his back. "I have never believed that Alice was the only one holding you here. I hope I wasn't wrong."

With that, she resumed her seat. There was a moment of quiet that was broken only by the sound of Jasper's chair scraping back.

"Good," Esme smiled slightly, turning back to the rest of us. "So, now that I have your attention, does anyone want to tell me the full story of what happened while we were gone? Including, of course, details on the destruction of my dining room table. Hmm?"

I exchanged nervous looks with Emmett and Rosalie. I knew without asking that none of us wanted to detail the screamfest and family fisticuffs that had ensued before Alice's departure.

I didn't know if Jasper felt the same concern. His face was still impassive.

"We bought you a new one!" Emmett beamed brightly at Esme, clearly deciding that avoiding all acknowledgement of responsibilty and piling on the charm was the best way to get us out of this.

Esme shot him a 'nice try' look and looked down at the shiny wood table that we were gathered around. "Yes, and your pretty, mass manufactured, soulless plank of wood is by far the perfect replacement for the antique, hand made table I have carried from home to home to home for the last_ fifty_ years."

I couldn't help but snicker at that. I hadn't realized sweet Esme even knew what sarcasm was, much less that she could use it so effectively.

"Not to mention the stained glass panels that were original to this house and now are in pieces in a trash bag on the back porch. I don't suppose any of you want to tell me what happened there, either?"

Emmett sighed. "That was me. It was an accident. I was just a little...upset."

Esme's face softened at that. "Of course. I understand." She was quiet for the next minute and I knew she was thinking about Alice.

When none of us said anything else, she sighed.

"I am well aware that the four of you are not telling us everything." She included me in her reproachful gaze. "Since none of you seem to want to be more forthcoming, let me tell you how you're going to make this up to me,"

Now she smiled widely. "It will undoubtedly take me many, many weekends of going to every antique store, estate sale, and flea market not only in this province but possibly in the states as well until I find a table I actually want. Each one of you will take turns accompanying me until I'm satisfied, even if it takes years."

I was pretty sure that I heard Emmett whimper. Esme's catlike grin grew even wider at the sound. With that, she rose, looking at Jasper. "By the way, _you're_ first."

With that, she kissed Carlisle's cheek before she exited. As she left the room, I heard her deliberately loud stage whisper to him. 'Perhaps we shouldn't leave the children at home alone anymore, hmm?"

Everyone else was dispersing now too. Relieved that nobody had mentioned what I'd been afraid would come up, Alice, my strange ability to steal her memories and how it had caused her to leave us, possibly forever. I prepared to beat a hasty retreat before Carlisle realized what he'd forgotten.

"Elisa, a word please." Carlisle's voice stopped me. I knew I couldn't be that lucky. Resigned, I slumped back down in my chair.

"Don't be so nervous, Elisa. I promise there will be no waterboarding with this interrogation," Carlisle smiled at me.

He leaned forward. "I just wanted you to know that I realize how frightened and confused you must have been these last few weeks, with everything that's happened. It's understandable that you wouldn't know how to deal with...well, the strange incidents that you've been experiencing. I'm not upset that you kept it from us. We are so very sorry that Jasper was able to intimidate you under our noses the way that he did."

I bit my lip. "Jasper didn't actually -"

Carlisle stopped me before I could finish. "You don't need to cover for him any longer, Elisa. He came to us himself and told us everything. How you had wanted to tell Alice and he threatened you to keep your silence."

His face was grim now. "I know that he thought he was doing the right thing, but rest assured, we have made it abundantly clear how reprehensible his actions were. He's also aware that if he were to ever do something like this to you again, he would no longer welcome as a part of this household."

I gasped. "What? No, Carlisle - "

Carlisle stood up then. "Elisa, this particular decision_ is _out of your hands. Let us watch after you." He watched me steadily for a moment. "I can see that you need some time to process everything. We don't have to talk about what has been happening between you and Alice right now. But at some point, we will need to talk about it."

I nodded. Carlisle gave me one last smile, patted my head, and exited.

I followed after a moment later, feeling much more tired than I had before the meeting started.

As I reached the top of the stairs, a flicker caught my eye, and I hurried over to check on Alice's candle that was still set in front of the window looking out over the immense front lawn. Rosalie had kept her promise about not letting it go out. As I watched the bright flame dance in front of me, I had to wonder if Alice really could see it at all, or if it was just another futile gesture, a way to keep hoping as the weeks passed and we continued to wait.

I couldn't think about this anymore All I wanted to do was go to my room, hide under my covers, and pretend none of this was happening. And that was exactly what I proceeded to do.

* * *

The next week passed much like any other. We were all waiting, but the phone didn't ring. No messages were delivered. Alice's candle stayed lit throughout every day and night.

And she didn't return.

It was strange how something as devastating as losing her didn't make time stop for us all. It seemed wrong to be able to get up in the morning and worry about mundane things like whether Jimmy would sit next to me at lunch, or why Tandy Newmeier continued to suck. It was even stranger to be able to laugh with my friends at school or lose myself in a tv show, or have an hour pass where I didn't think about her. When I realized I was doing these things, I always felt bad. What if she saw me adjusting to life without her? What if she thought that meant we didn't want her back?

I was thinking all this, for the umpteenth time, the following Wednesday night as I stood in the kitchen in front of the open refrigerator, forgetting what I had wanted because I was so busy riding the guilt train. After a moment, I sighed and gave it up. Obsessing was not going to do anything except give me yet another sleepless night, and I'd had enough of those already.

Deliberately I turned my thoughts away from Alice and on to other topics. Immediately, I was thinking about Jimmy again. I'd thought our day at the mall might have been a turning point for us. In a way, perhaps it was. We were nearly inseparable at school, we'd gone to the movies and he and his friends Connor and Mercer were trying to teach me how to skateboard. We called each other every night too. There was a very satisfactory amount of hand holding as well, which was even more pleasurable because of the way Tandy turned green every time she caught us at it. In many ways, it felt like I had a boyfriend. Except hand-holding was_ all _we were doing. It's not like I wanted to jump his bones behind the school, but shouldn't we have tried the whole kissing thing again at some point? He'd never even once brought up our near miss, and I hadn't had the chance, or the courage, to bring it up. But I was getting tired of waiting for him to define our relationship. It was becoming clear that I was going to have to be the one to make the first move.

A movement that I barely saw out of the corner of my eye caught my attention and I turned my head, realizing that Jasper was standing inside the doorway. Whether he'd been in the kitchen all along or only just showed up I didn't know.

The desolate look on his face was a icy reminder that I wasn't the only one with a love life in dire need of resuscitation. His eyes were flat and dead, – I honestly didn't think he even knew I was in the room.

Before I could plan it out, pity had me speaking. "Hey Jasper, do you want me to get you something to – eat?" The last word came out a croak when my brain finally caught up to my mouth and I realized what I was saying. I looked at the contents of the full refrigerator, the cold air coming from it not enough to cool the flame of my cheeks. "Um, I didn't mean -er, _me_. Maybe…I could get you a…um..rat…or – something." Oh. My. God. Just when I thought I'd ascended the heights of Mt. LameAss I realize I've only begun to climb.

Jasper's dark eyes were fixed on me now and consternation had him looking almost as dumbstruck as I felt. He seemed to take a long time to process what I had asked and then his mouth quirked. Amazingly, it actually looked like he was fighting the urge to laugh, his expression suddenly more alive then it had been since Alice had left. "Anne Rice again, Elisa?"

"Um...maybe just a little,' I admitted, thinking now of the copy of _The Vampire Lestat _that was currently under my pillow.

I was sad to see his amusement fade almost immediately, to be replaced with the hollow expression that had been permanently etched into his features. I knew just how he felt. Well, maybe not exactly. Jasper was probably the only that time had actually stopped for.

"Jasper..." I couldn't stop myself. "Do you think she went to Alaska?"

Jasper didn't look nearly as upset at my question as I thought he would. Of course, because he must have spent days wondering himself.

"Edward has always been her port in the storm,' he answered quietly. "So it's highly likely, yes."

"Good,' I breathed, and then mentally punched myself. "Um, I mean that - "

"It's alright, Elisa. I know what you meant." He sighed quietly. "It relieves me as well, to think that she's not alone." With that, he went back to staring at nothing, making me feel worse for him than ever.

It was such a bizarre feeling to realize that out of all of them, Jasper was the one I had the most in common with now. He didn't know if he belonged here without Alice and I didn't know if I belonged here at all.

I turned back to the refrigerator, figuring Jasper was about to make a quick exit, and perused its contents once more.

"Do you want to play the Wii with me?"

I heard the words but couldn't connect them with their meaning at first. I even looked behind me to see if Jasper was actually speaking to me or someone else who had come in without me realizing. But no, it was still just the two of us and he was staring at me expectedly, waiting for a reply.

And then it became clear. All the grief was too much for him, and Jasper had lost his damn mind.

"Um...sure," Cautiously I followed him to the TV room, and took the controller he offered. Might as well humor the crazy vampire, plus that was just a good plan for surviving here in general.

For the better part of an hour we played a golf game, speaking only occasionally. I completely decimated him, and I was pretty sure he wasn't just being nice and letting me win. It was obvious that he was desperately trying to kill some time, but his mind was no where near on what we were doing.

Finally, he set down the controller and said goodnight. As soon as he was gone I decided I'd better go to bed before he came back and offered to watch Gossip Girl with me, which would be far too much weirdness for me to handle in a single night.

* * *

Maybe it was the close proximity to Jasper that had done it, or just that being so close to him made me think of Alice all night long that brought the dream I tumbled into nearly as soon as my head touched the pillow.

_It was the oddest sense of deja vu, the realization that I knew the house that I stood in, a house that had probably ceased to exist decades before I was even born. But I had been here before, in a memory that didn't belong to me . The music room that I had been in that time I knew was just through the doorway to the left. If I looked I could see a glimpse of the piano bench where I'd - she- sat._

_I knew what this was now and yet it didn't ease the strangeness. I was still me, I still had my own awareness, but I was her too, looking out of her eyes, feeling what she felt. We were all tangled up together and I couldn't tell where she left off and I began. _

_So we stood there, Mary Alice and me, locked together in this memory._

_These clothes that we were wearing, the heavy tights, the long black dress, the tightly laced up boots and overcoat covering us were far heavier than what I was used to, and I felt like I was suffocating. I wanted to tug the collar away from our throat to get some air but these were not my hands to control._

_In front of us, looking down as puffs of smoke rose from the pipe in his mouth, a gray haired man observed us impassively from behind his spectacles. His appearance was so benign that I didn't understand the jolt of terror that rushed through us when our eyes met his. At least not until I heard the word hissing through Mary Alice's mind, painted with a sickening dread in the pit of her stomach. Doctor._

_The doctor...I remembered now that that his last name was Radcliffe - pulled a pocket watch out of his waistcoat now. "Come, Mary Alice, say your goodbyes. We have a train to catch."_

_Mary Alice looked back at him stonily, not speaking, until he was the one who dropped his eyes and looked away. I had to marvel at her composure. I was horribly aware of what was happening now, and if I had been alone in this, I would have been a sobbing, pleading wreck. But steel wound through every fiber of Mary Alice's being, keeping her cold and expressionless even as I could feel the pain of betrayal and the fear of the unknown breaking her apart on the inside._

_We looked up then at the two silent figures standing at the foot of the staircase, waiting. For the last eighteen years, we'd called them Mother and Father but now we saw them as they truly were. Judas and his fifty silver pieces. Brutus clutching the bloody dagger. Neither one of them displaying the slightest trace of remorse. _

_We knelt and picked up the suitcase at our feet, ignoring the doctor's request to say goodbye. But just as we reached the doorway, Mary Alice turned us around to face them one last time._

_"From the moment you made this decision, you were as dead to me as you'll pretend I am. From tonight on, I'll never think of you again. You, however, will realize what you've done some day, when it's far too late. I hope it chokes you."_

_Mother and Father stayed silent and expressionless. Our rush of anger and frustration at their cowardice almost broke us. It was only Mary Alice's fierce determination to not give them the satisfaction that kept the tears inside and us on our feet. We yanked the front door open now, nearly hitting Dr. Radcliffe as we did so. It opened onto black night and a completely silent, nearly empty street. In front of the house a driver waited in front of a shiny motorcar._

_Of course; they would be sendng us away in the middle of the night. Can't let the neighbors see, after all. _

_Just as we were about to step over the threshold a voice at the top of the stairs had us spinning back around._

_"Mother?" Cynthia had appeared at the top of the stairs, clad in a long nightgown and rubbing her half open eyes. "I thought I heard voices...' she broke off into a wide yawn._

_"This is none of your concern, Cynthia. Go back to bed this instant," Mother's voice was sharp._

_Cynthia dropped her hands, first looking at her mother in surprise, then turning to look down over the balcony. She stared first at Dr. Radcliffe and then at us, noting the suitcase we held, her blue eyes widening._

_"What's happening? Who is that man? Where is Mary Alice going?"_

_"NOW, Cynthia!" Her father's voice was thunderous._

_Cynthia shrank back for a moment, but just as quickly, stepped forward again, starting to descend the stairs. Her eyes clashed with her parents. "No! Not until you tell me where Mary Alice is going!"_

_I could feel Mary Alice's shock at this. Never once in the last twelve years had she ever seen her younger sister defy her parents so openly. _

_Her parents looked as stunned as Mary Alice felt. For a second, heavy silence reigned and then Father cleared his throat. "There's no need to upset yourself, darling. Mary Alice is just going away for a little rest, that's all. She'll be back before you know it."_

_Cynthia read her parents' expressions and her eyes turned back to Mary Alice's. Then she looked again at Dr. Racliffe, a long, hard stare. I almost felt the click in her mind as the puzzle pieces slid together, and horror filled her expression, not only at what was happening, but at the recognition of her own complicity in it._

_"NO!" She ran down the stairs, only to be blocked by her parents before she could get to us. She fought wildly against their restraining figures. "No! Don't do this! Please, don't do this!"_

_"Cynthia - " We stumbled forward, only to be caught by Dr. Radcliffe, who grabbed us around the arm, squeezing hard enough to force a gasp of pain from our throat. _

_"Mary Alice..." Cynthia was sobbing now, all the tears we couldn't shed spilling from her eyes to pour down her cheeks even as she continued to struggle against her parents' restraint. Her hands were stretched out through the gap in her parents, trying to reach us, and we couldn't help but reach back, even as Dr. Radcliffe pulled us away._

_"Cynthia, I'll come back, I promise I'll -' The lie burned our throat, closing it before we could finish. Cynthia heard it too, the falseness, and her face blazed. With a surprising show of strength, she shoved her parents out of the way, and then she was running. We were fighting now too, pulling our arm out of Dr. Radcliffe's grasp, and our fingers had barely brushed hers before Mother leapt forward and grabbed Cynthia by her plaited hair, brutally yanking her back, and slapping her so hard across the face that Cynthia was knocked into the stair railing and from there fell heavily to the floor. She stayed there, her hand clasped to her rapidly reddening cheek, her eyes burning into Mother's. Her next words were hard and deliberate. "I hate you!"_

_Mother's face went from stone fury to shock at our sister's words._

_Dr. Radcliffe had us back in his grip now. He tossed a dismissive glance at Cynthia and then addressed Mother and Father. "I see now the full burden that you have carried. Fortunately however, the younger one's lack of discipline can be quickly remedied with a sound whipping."_

_With that he forced us around, and into the black night. But we hadn't even begun to ascend the porch steps before the closing front door swung back open and Cynthia was framed in the doorway, her eyes wild._

_"I'll find you, Mary Alice!" Her scream rent the night. " No matter how long it takes, I swear I will find you!"_

_Unseen hands yanked her back then, and the door slammed shut, leaving us alone in the dark._

With a gasp, I came awake in my bed. Before the dream had truly left me, before I could even quite remember where I was, I pushed the covers away and jumped out of bed, stubbing my toe in the process. A frantic search of my school back pack later, I clutched a pen in my hand and yanked open the drawer of my bedside table to pull out the journal that Jasper had given me. After a second's hesitation, I put it back in the drawer and ripped a page out of one of my school notebooks instead, writing as fast as I could for the next several minutes, putting down every single detail that I could recall.

That done, I got up and opened my window, the chill night air immediately rushing in and making me shiver. "Jasper," I called.

There was nothing but silence and the rustling of the wind. I waited a minute, but it had taken all of my courage to call his name once and I couldn't bring myself to do it again.

I turned away and nearly had a heart attack. Jasper stood right inside my doorway, his face impassive. "You called?"

I moistened my dry lips as my heart stopped trying to pound its way out of my chest. "I had another dream...it was about Alice." I handed him the folded sheet of notebook paper. "When you...when she comes back..." I broke off. It hurt too much and it was double the pain knowing it was hurting him too. "Her sister fought for her. She has the right to know that."

"I understand," he looked down at the paper and back at me. "If it's ever in my power again, I promise I'll make sure she gets this."

"Thanks," I whispered.

A crystal fragile silence hung in the air between us as I waited for him to make one of his hasty exits. Instead he looked up from the paper, his eyes puzzled. "Why didn't you use the journal I gave you?"

"Oh,' I gave a nervous chuckle. "It was just...too nice. I didn't want to ruin the pages with my terrible handwriting. Here, you can have it back," I started to cross the room to my bedside table but a shake of his head stopped me.

"No. Keep it. Maybe you should write your own stories in it."

"What?" I gave him a puzzled look.

"Write about your parents. Your life before you came here. All those memories you've been fighting so hard to keep," he explained. "If you can do it for Alice, you should do it for yourself as well."

.At that, he was gone, leaving me with what I knew would be another sleepless night and far too much to think about.

* * *

Everything that had happened the night before, the dream, what Jasper had said to me about my memories, lingered with me all day. I was so distracted I forgot all about my plan to semi-seduce Jimmy, which might have been a good thing since Tandy stuck to us like a burr all day and making my move in front of her would have been more than a little bit awkward.

After I'd come home from dance class late that afternoon, I went into the kitchen to make myself dinner, thankful that Esme didn't feel the need to cook six course meals for me anymore since we'd discovered unexpectedly that I could cook rather well for myself. I was just starting to put what I would need on the counter when the phone on the wall rang.

"Cullen Residence," I could barely keep my tone impersonal and polite as I answered. What if it was Alice? _ Finally?_

"Elisa?"

I could barely hear him; the connection was terrible and filled with static. Yet there was still no mistaking that voice.

"Edward!"

The line crackled loudly as I struggled to hear what he was saying. All I caught were random phases...'wanted to call...no service...hunting...pay phone...Elisa? Hang on..." His crackled voice sounded impatient. In the background I heard the crackling get even louder, then a loud snap and metal grating, followed by a thud. The line crackled so bad that for a second I thought we were going to lose the connection, but then it cleared and I could hear him almost perfectly. "There. That's better. It won't last though; we'd better speak quickly."

"What did you do?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I moved the phone booth." His voice was cheerful. "And some of the wires."

Figured. "Where's Bella?" I asked now, excitement exploding within me now, almost unable to believe that it was really him talking to me, after so many weeks.

"Hunting," I could hear the smile in his voice. "She shouldn't be too far but she didn't want to get too close to the town yet. We've been experimenting with testing her, letting her experience human scent, and she's doing so much better than I ever could have anticipated. But we still have a ways to go..." his happy voice suddenly turned regretful. "Elisa, you have no idea how she's torn herself up about what she nearly did to you - "

"Edward, I know,' I hoped he could hear my sincerity. "Really, I do. Please tell her that I don't blame her at all."

"I will,' his voice still sounded sad though, and I didn't understand why until he spoke again. "I owe you an apology too."

"Edward,' I rolled my eyes. "Did you really call all the way from Alaska to angst over not being able to stop Bella from throwing you through a wall and running off to eat me? You need to practice this happily ever after thing a little bit more. I'll bet when Prince Charming carried Snow White off on his white horse, he didn't moan the whole way back to the castle about not being able to stop her from eating the poisoned apple in the first place."

He laughed at that. "That wasn't exactly what I meant." His voice sobered again. "I know you thought that I didn't care about what nearly happened to you, that my concern was only for Bella."

"No, I didn't,' I lied automatically.

"Really?" Edward's voice was torn between skepticism and amusement. "So that wasn't you thinking that '_apparently the worst thing about your second untimely death would have been the detrimental effect it would have on Bella's delicate psyche' _?" He quoted exactly the melodramatic mental moan that I'd nearly forgotten having.

"Oh," I muttered. "That."

"Yes, that. It just makes me feel...that perhaps I haven't made it clear how important you are to me. I was terrified, not just for Bella, but for you. Losing you would have been...rather devastating to all of us. I'm sorry that you didn't understand that."

I took a deep breath, absorbing his words as tears welled in my eyes, waiting until I could speak without crying. "Thanks. I miss you both. A lot."

"We miss you too,' he assured me. 'Bella's going to be upset that she missed the chance to speak to you. I don't think we're going to have cell phone reception where we're living anytime soon, but now that we can get closer to town we'll have the opportunity to call sometimes and send you letters. We meant it when we said we weren't just going to disappear out of your life."

I smiled at that. "Thank you. And I want pictures too. TONS of pictures."

He chuckled. "Hundreds, I promise."

Then he sighed. "I hate to rush off, but I have to get back to Bella. May I please speak with Alice a moment before I go?"

I couldn't help my gasp. "You mean, she's not - " I nearly strangled myself trying to stop myself from finishing that sentence. "Um, sorry, I mean. She's out at the moment."

"Elisa, what's going on? Where is Alice?" The instant concern in Edward's voice told him my terrible voice acting wasn't fooling him at all. Dammit, I used to be so much better at this.

"Nothing's going on. She's just - not here right now. I'm sure she'll be back soon." I crossed my fingers and hoped he was still so lost in his honeymoon haze that he'd buy my lame lie.

Clearly, he wasn't. "_Elisa Anne Cu _- "

"Elisa, give me the phone," Carlisle had appeared beside me before Edward could finish using the full name card. I handed him the handset and nearly ran from the room.

"Jasper!" I gasped out when I had burst into the living room.

He was already there, and I could tell by his face that he'd heard. It was a good thing, because I was far too panicked to try and keep it from him. "She's not in Alaska! Where is she, then?" A almost too grim to be spoken out loud thought occured to me. "Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no." I suddenly felt like I was going to faint. Abruptly, I sat down on the floor. "She wouldn't have gone after Sebastian by herself, would she? Please tell me she wouldn't have done that!"

Jasper knelt down next to me, and I could see how hard he was fighting to stay in control. "No, I don't believe she would have."

I gaped at his expression. "Oh my God! You totally do! Can't you lie better than that? Now I'm really freaked!"

"Join the club," Jasper's whisper was so soft that I almost didn't hear it, but the point was, I did. Our eyes met, and before I could stop myself I burst into tears.

"Oh, Elisa," I hadn't even realized that Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme had appeared beside me. Rosalie pulled me to my feet as she spoke. "It's going to be ok. Calm down."

Beside her Emmett shot Jasper a significant look. Jasper closed his eyes and I saw the effort it was causing him to create the soft blanket of calm now descending over us.

"Stop it,' I half snapped, half sobbed and it retreated immediately. "I'm scared, you're scared. We can't pretend this isn't happening!"

"We're all scared, Elisa," It was Esme's gentle voice that sounded now. Sadness and fear shadowed her entire face.

Rosalie let go of me, crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes flashed. "No more of this waiting. I'm going after her. No, I'm going after HIM and I'm going to rip his head off for even imagining he could lay his hands on any one of my sisters - "

She was interrupted as Jasper's head shot up. He was staring at the front door and then we heard a distant car door slamming. I saw the bewildered look on every one's face as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. The next thing I knew, our front door shot open so hard that the replacement glass around the frame shattered once again.

"Jasper!" It was Carlisle's voice that sounded, and like a shot, he was after him. More blurs as Esme, Rosalie and Emmett all disappeared. What was going on? I ran after them immediately, relieved as I made it onto the porch that they were still in sight, moving almost at a human pace as they rushed towards something at the end of our long drive.

I was still far too slow to catch up to them quickly. I cursed my human limitations as I ran after them, jumping over the pile of broken glass in my way.

As I got closer, I saw what had captured Jasper's attention. A mail truck had pulled up at the end of the long drive, and Jasper had the terrified postal carrier pressed up against it as he held out his hand impatiently. "Give it to me!" I heard him practically growl, gesturely furiously at the man's mailbag, slung over his shoulder.

Despite how scared he looked, the middle aged, balding man was brave enough - or stupid enough - to answer back. "Sir, you're just going to have to wait until I sort yours - "

Now Jasper _did_ growl, and I thought the poor man was going to have a heart attack. He went stark white, ducked under Jasper's arm with surprising speed and turned to run, but Jasper yanked him back by the handle of the mail sack. It torn off in his hands, and the mail carrier went stumbling back down to the ground with a grunt of pain.

"Jasper! Stop this!" Carlisle was kneeling down next to the postal worker, who looked like he was going to pass out. Jasper ignored him, and everyone else as he upended the torn bag, spilling the neighborhood's mail on the soggy ground. He paused then, taking another deep breath, then tore through the mess and came up with a damp postcard.

The briefest of glances at it, and he closed his eyes, murmuring something in a language I didn't know.

Everyone gathered around him, and I saw the relief spring from face to face.

"Hey, I'm here too!" I half gasped the words, out of breath as I finally got to them. "What is going on?"

In answer Jasper held out the post card so I could read it.

There was just one sentence, written in miniscule, perfect handwriting that I recognized immediately.

'_I'm not that stupid_.'

"Alice," I whispered, going so weak at the knees with relief that I almost sat down on the ground again, but luckily Emmett was there to lean on now.

At the same time that I was feeling so happy that she hadn't gone on a suicide run and let Sebastian kill her, I suddenly felt angry. If she'd seen this, then she had to know how terrified we all were. How could she let us go through this? So she didn't want to be here; it didn't mean she couldn't call or text or _something_. I mean, was at least a 'hey, look who's not dead' facebook status update really too much to ask for?

"Jasper," Carlisle's brief smile faded and his tone became stern as he looked down at the still trembling mail carrier, cowering against the bumper of his truck. "You need to fix this."

"Of course," Jasper looked at the man and stretched out his hand for the man to grasp. "Please, sir, let me help you up."

The man ignored Jasper's outstretched hand, giving him a look reminscent of a fly who'd just been invited into a spider's web.

Jasper sighed and looked at the man in concentration. After a moment, I could see him visibly relax, and he allowed Jasper to pull him to his feet.

"What's your name, sir?" Jasper was keeping that gentile southern tone in his voice.

It was beginning to rain again, and I was shivering slightly as I watched but there was no way I was going back inside yet. I just had to see how Jasper was going to make his almost victim forget the snarling monster that was terrorizing him just moments ago.

"David Jessup,' was the man's hesitant reply.

"Mr. Jessup, allow me to apologize for my unforgivable behavior. I lost my head there for a moment. You see, we've been waiting to hear from a relative who's been stationed in Afghanistan for the past several months. We've all been very worried. It is such a relief that they were able to contact us at last."

"Oh, of course," Mr. Jessup smiled compassionately now that Jasper was pumping him full of calm and contentment. "I quite understand," his smile wavered as he looked down at the pile of ruined mail getting more and more drenched by the light rain. "I wish I could say the same for my supervisor. I'll get in trouble for this for certain."

"Oh, I'm sure it won't be that bad," Emmett's smile was jovial as he chimed in. "I mean, how mad can they get at a great guy like you, out here every day, doing your job just like you should. It was an accident, that's all." He kicked Jasper lightly to get him to play along.

Whatever vibes Jasper sent at Mr. Jessup now had the portly man nodding in agreement. "I am a great employee, aren't I?" His voice seemed surprised at this new, vampire enhanced hit of self esteem. "I'm the best carrier they have! I always finish my routes on time and never complain about the weather, or the dogs that chase me, or the screeching housewives that didn't get their Cosmopolitan and they don't appreciate me at all!"

Jasper patted the man on the back sympathetically, clearly ready to go back to the house. But apparently he'd tapped into something that Mr. Jessup had been suppressing for a long time, because the man couldn't seem to stop talking. "Did you know that last year I was suspended without pay, despite all my years of service, because a customer accused me of stealing a package from them? And when it was found in the back of a mail truck a month later, no one even apologized!"

Emmett looked genuinely disgusted at this. "Dude, that's messed up. You should quit!" Suddenly he grinned, giving Jasper another significant look. "I'm serious! Go back to the post office right now and tell your boss to take his job and shove it where the sun don't shine!"

"Emmett!" I heard Esme whisper, exasperated. "Stop it!"

But even Jasper was smirking now, the relief over Alice's postcard clearly putting him in a grand mood. I saw him narrow his eyes at Mr. Jessup slightly and the mail carrier immediately nodded in agreement.

"I will! I'll quit right now! I can't believe I didn't think about it before!"

Carlisle sighed and took Esme's hand. "Let's go back to the house so I can pretend I didn't hear any of this," he murmured to her quietly, and they turned to walk back at a careful human pace. Esme shot Jasper and Emmett another reproving look as they went.

"And after you quit, you should do something nice for yourself! Go on a vacation, maybe. I'll bet it's been a long time since you've done that, right?" Emmett was clearly on a roll.

"Yes, it has been a very long time! I've been wanting to take my wife on a second honeymoon, but after last year's debacle, there was no way we could afford it." Mr. Jessup looked downcast and I think even Rosalie felt sorry for him at that point.

"Then you should go! You deserve it! You should go to..." Emmett thought for a second and then smiled triumphantly. "..Bermuda! Yeah, you should absolutely go to Bermuda! Leave tonight, even!" Emmett was practically bouncing on his feet with enthusiasm.

"I should? Bermuda?" Mr. Jessup looked uncertain for a moment and then Jasper hit him up with a strong sense of adventure and apparently, a deep longing for suntanning on white sand beaches. "You're right, I should! After I quit, I'm going right home to tell my wife to pack!"

"Awesome! That's the spirit!" Emmett clapped Mr. Jessup on the back. "You're the man, and don't you forget it!"

"I _am_ the man!" Mr. Jessup repeated happily. He jumped back into his truck and a few seconds later two more full mailbags were thrown out of the back to join their fallen kin on the muddy ground. "Screw the mail, I'm going to Bermuda!" With that, the truck roared to life and made its way down the road.

Emmett turned to Jasper and high fived him. I watched, slack jawed with amazement at what I'd just witnessed.

Rosalie rolled her eyes as the truck turned a far away corner. "You two are such children," she shook her head. "Now that poor man is going to be out of a job and probably stuck on a plane before he comes to his senses and realizes he just got tricked into destroying his entire life."

Emmett looked deeply offended. "C'mon, Rose, would I let that happen? I'll have the plane tickets and hotel reservations for him within the hour, and by the time he gets back, not only will his boss be groveling to re-hire him, he's going to give him a promotion. Right, Jasper? Plus I bet he's going to have the happiest wife in the entire province."

Jasper nodded, still smiling slightly. "Sounds like a plan."

"And..." Emmett threw one arm around me and the other around his wife as we turned to walk back to the house. "Best of all, we don't have to worry about him saying a thing about Jasper's little slip back there The only thing Mr. Jessup is going to remember about this day was that it was the greatest day of his life. You all may now marvel at my awesomeness."

"That would be _our_ awesomeness," Jasper corrected pointedly.

Emmett grinned. "Couldn't have done it without you, bro." This was followed by a fist bump.

"I suppose we have some arrangements to make,' Jasper stopped just before we reached the porch. "To town, then?"

"Let's go!" Emmett was clearly enjoying himself. As he and Jasper turned away and headed towards the garage, I could still hear his enthusiastic voice. "Should we make his boss cry? Because I really, really want to..."

* * *

Later that evening, as I walked past the living room on my way upstairs, I was surprised to see Jasper, barely visible throught the open doorway, sitting on the couch in the dark. I guess he and Emmett had finished up their fairy godfathering for the evening.

After a moment's hesitation, I stepped through the doorway. He did not react to my presence.

"Um...do you mind if I turn on a light?" I asked finally.

Jasper just shrugged, not looking at me. His euphoria of earlier had clearly faded. My own was gone too; the temporary jolt of adrenaline caused by finally hearing from Alice gone now, swallowed up by the undeniable fact that whether she was alright or not, she still wasn't here.

After I snapped on the lamp, I sat down next to him on the couch. "Where was the card sent from?" I asked after a moment.

"Boston." His expression was desolate.

"Boston? What is she doing in Boston? Wait...Boston isn't that far away, at least not for a vampire. Do you think she's on her way back?" Hope lifted me for a moment, until I remembered that the postcard had to have been sent at least two days ago. I sighed loudly. "I guess she would have been here by now if that was the case."

"She was just passing through, I'm certain. She could have caught a flight to anywhere from there."

To my surprise, he kept speaking. "We haven't been apart for more than two days since she found me and even that has been rare. And now..I'm lost. I don't know what to do with myself I try to keep moving. I go to our room. I go into the forest. I go into town. Over and over, back and forth, as if it's going to make a difference. As if eventually, I'm going to find something that will make it all stop, make me stop. But I never will. Not without her. I didn't realize..." his eyes turned far away for a moment. "I always felt how much Edward loved Bella. But in many ways, I thought it was best that she was out of our lives when they separated, for us, for him...even for her. I suppose I was scornful of the way that he couldn't function without her. I wish I didn't understand it so much more now."

"I'm sorry,' I whispered.

"Elisa, I'm the one who's long overdue with an apology. What I did to you; the way I bullied you and intimidated you into keeping what happened from Alice, it was inexcusable."

I watched the flames lick the logs in the fireplace for a long moment before I looked back at him. "You didn't have to take the blame for everything, you know. I knew what I was doing. I mean, you did scare me,' I admitted. "A lot. But you didn't force me not to tell Alice."

Jasper looked frankly disbelieving at this, so I continued. "Look, you've probably noticed by now that if I really want to do something, I generally go ahead and do it. Even when I know the consequences aren't going to be good."

"Well...yes, I would have to say I have noticed that," Jasper said drily.

"So if I had wanted to tell Alice earlier, I would have. I just...I didn't want to. I wouldn't have ever told anybody if you hadn't found the drawing." I sighed heavily now. "I never thought about what it would mean to her. I only thought about what it could mean for me ."

Jasper was silent now and I thought I could feel the condemnation in his lack of a response. I didn't flinch away from it; I deserved it. "It's exactly like what you said to me when we first got here. You told me I was selfish, that I didn't think about what I was doing to everyone else. You were right. But I think I might be able to fix that now." This last sentence came out much more slowly, as the ramifications of what I was about to began to hit me.

Jasper's head shot up and he scrutinized my face. "What are you trying to say, Elisa?"

I ignored his question. "You know, that was pretty cool what you and Emmett did today, for Mr. Jessup."

"Why are you changing the subject?"

"I'm not," I was determined to finish. "I just thought it was interesting, how you were able to completely turn him around like that. One minute he's shaking in his shoes and the next, he's happier than a newborn in a blood bank and practically ready to give self-help seminars. All because of you."

Jasper looked perplexed. "How was that a surprise to you? You've always known what I can do."

"Not really,' I shook my head. "I didn't know that you could so completely change someone like that. Make them believe just about anything you want them to, by tweaking how they feel . You can, can't you?"

After a long moment, Jasper nodded. "I suppose so. With some people, like Mr. Jessup, it's fairly easy because I'd tapped into something that was already there. But if I'm manipulating someone with a false belief that's completely contrary to that person's innate truth, it's much more difficult and it will wear off far more easily. But yes, I can make any human believe whatever I want them to believe, or at least I've never failed at it before. Most immortals as well, with a few talented exceptions."

I moistened my dry lips. "Then you can help me. You can help Alice."

"What are you talking about?"

I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it abruptly, looking around. "Jasper,' my voice was a stage whisper now, 'is anyone listening?"

Jasper raised an eyebrow but he did turn his attention away from me, listening for a long moment. "No. No one is nearby at the moment."

"Good," I still kept my voice hushed. "What I mean is, I know Alice is upset, but she has to understand by now, if she's thought about it at all, that the last thing either one of us wanted to do was hurt her. So...what if that's not the only reason she's staying away? what if it's...me and what I've been doing to her? And if that's so, what if we could make it easier for her to come back? Easier for all of you? No more having to protect me from the various psychotic vampires and other beasts that are sure to come around. No more having to worry about the Volturi torching you all as punishment for harboring a human. It would be better for everyone."

Understanding was beginning to creep into Jasper's face but he maintained a deliberate silence, clearly waiting for me to spit it out.

"I could tell Carlisle and Esme that I'm scared, this is all too much for me, too weird. I could tell them I don't feel safe here, that I don't feel safe with any of you. The thing is, if I'm staring down at my feet and crying my eyes out when I say it, they're going to see right through me. But if you make me believe it, just long enough to get me far away, I think they'd go along with it, wouldn't they? Nobody's going to force me to stay here if I don't really want to, right?"

Jasper wasn't looking at me now. "Do you want to leave, Elisa?"

I sighed, knowing he had already felt my answer. "No. It's the last thing I want. But I'll get over it eventually. We both know it's for the best."

"And where would you go? To La Push?"

I snorted loudly. "No way. If I ever lay eyes on Jacob Black again, the first thing I'm doing is kicking him in the balls, and it'd all just go downhill from there. What I was thinking is that Carlisle might be OK with sending me to boarding school, somewhere far, far away. Like, I dunno, Switzerland. Switzerland's nice, right?"

"Hmm." The sound was non-committal.

"Come on, Jasper. It makes sense. You know it does."

Jasper nodded contemplatively at this. "I suppose it does."

I couldn't deny how much it hurt to hear him agree, even though it was what I'd expected. I refused to let myself fall apart now though. There would be plenty of time for that later, preferably when I was continents away. "So you'll help me then?"

Jasper turned to look me directly in the face. "Absolutely not."

"What?" My facade crumpled into ash at his words. "Why not? I thought this was what you wanted!"

Jasper ignored the question, standing up. "Come with me, Elisa." He gestured to me to follow him.

Confused, I did so, and he led me out of the living room and down the hallway. When I realized he was leading me to Esme's sitting room, I hesitated, remembering the last time we were in there and the somewhat terrifying confrontation we'd had. I wasn't looking to repeat the experience.

Jasper looked back at me expectantly over his shoulder until I finally stepped inside. He blurred behind me to close the door. Half a second later, he was across the room, opening a closet door to reveal shelves full of neatly stacked craft supplies, and reaching up for something on the top shelf that was too high for me to see. He came back down balancing a towering pile on one palm. I instantly recognized what he held as scrapbooks.

"Esme is quite sentimental," Jasper was saying now as he set the stack down on the small table where Esme's sewing machine sat. "She was very committed to preserving as many of our memories as possible. Of course, since so many of our major life events are repeated over and over again, it became rather pointless. She only updates ours now for special occasions." With that, he selected the book at the top of the pile and handed it to me. "You might find this interesting."

I looked down at the cover of the scrapbook he'd handed me, and it was instantly clear that Esme had made it herself. It was covered with ice blue silk, and there was a name embroidered on the front in glittering silver thread. _Rosalie_.

Eagerly, I opened it. On the first page, there was a sepia toned photograph of a stunningly beautiful young woman. She stood by herself on the porch of an unknown house, unsmiling, wearing a style of dress I'd only ever seen in movies, and clutching a pair of gloves in one hand.. Her eyes were huge and dark, staring directly into the camera. It was impossible to tell their color, of course, but I would have bet my pinky nail that they were crimson. This picture had to have been taken shortly after Rosalie had become a vampire. "Wow, " I whispered, awed by this unexpected glimpse into the Cullens' past.

"So all of you have one?" I looked back at the stack.

Jasper nodded.

"Do you think anyone would mind if I looked through them?" This was greatly exciting, almost like being to walk into the past. I was realizing suddenly what it really meant to live forever. All the things they must have seen! My mind was instantly besieged with a million questions for all of them that I couldn't believe I'd never thought to ask before.

"Of course no one would mind."

I giggled. "Hand me Edward's then. I can't wait to see him in bell bottoms!"

"I thought you'd like to see this one first," With that, he handed me a green bound scrapbook.

I took it with suddenly trembling fingers, for with a jolt I had already recognized the material that covered this one. It was soft, emerald green...It was from the outfit that I'd been wearing every time I had crossed into this strange world. Memories caming flooding back as if someone had flipped a light switch. I could recall vividly when I'd closed my eyes to dream that first night and had woken up at La Guardia airport with Bella and Alice, and so much more, seeing Edward for the first time in the alley in Italy, Jane terrifying me so much it was a wonder I'd ever been able to sleep again, Emmett saving me in the forest, laughing with Jasper, Edward, and Emmett in a broken down car...

And there was no way I could stop myself now from recalling the last day I'd worn it, wandering the streets of Forks in the pouring rain, knowing I would never go home again.

I hadn't seen the top that the material was taken from, or the jeans that I'd worn with it, since that day. I guess if I'd thought about it at all, I would have thought that it would have been thrown out, for fear that the sight of it would upset me. And yes, some of the memories flooding back to me were relentlessly painful, but there were so many others that I wouldn't have traded for anything. It was immensely touching that Esme felt those memories should be preserved as well.

I traced the embroidered name on the cover, woven in a delicately pale shade of pink. _ Elisa_.

Slowly, I opened the it and began to turn the pages. It was amazing to see how well filled it already was, considering that I'd only been in their world for a few short months. There were dozens of photographs, a few I remembered posing for, like the one with Esme, Carlisle and I standing in front of Sullivan HIgh on my first day of school. For the others, I hadn't even realized that anyone had been taking pictures at all. There was Edward and me, sitting on the hood of his Volvo in the yard of the Forks house making faces at each other. Rosalie styling my hair on Bella's wedding day. Alice helping me put my new clothes away after our all day shopping expedition. Me leaning out of the mini-van window watching the scenery pass by on our way to St. John's, reading in the library, laying on the bed in my room doing my homework, the giant stuffed bear that Emmett had given me beside me. She'd kept other things too; a card from Principal Wilkers welcoming me to Sullivan, a poem I'd written for English, even progress reports from my teachers, just the ordinary minutiae of my life glued or taped on to pretty patterned paper. Details that would never hold any interest to anyone except for Esme. Because to her, apparently I was endlessly fascinating.

Just like any child would be, as seen through their mother's eyes.

"You're making this really hard," I whispered to Jasper as I closed the book.

"No, I'm making this impossible." Jasper leaned against Esme's desk and studied me with dark eyes. "I've never seen Esme this happy. She's been a mother without a child, at least not one she could take care of and watch grow up. You're a child without a mother. You need each other more than you know, and if you think I'm going to be part of taking you away from her, from anyone here, you've lost your mind."

Of course I was crying by this point. It was several minutes before I managed to speak again.

"So that's it then. I belong here. Is that what you're trying to say?"

"I believe the appropriate response to that, if we translated it into Elisa speak, is 'duh'. "

I laughed through my tears. "Right back at you, Jasper."

He looked perplexed at this, so I sat down my scrapbook and turned to face him fully. "I know you believe that you don't really fit here with Alice gone, and what I don't get is how you can be so dense for someone who's supposedly empathic. Don't you know how everyone feels about you? How can you even consider walking out on Carlisle or Esme, or taking another brother away from Emmett, or not being here to annoy Rosalie as only you can? We wouldn't be complete without you here. You do get that, right?"

Jasper took a deep breath. "Maybe, like you, I just needed to hear it."

"She's coming back, you know," I continued to watch his expression. "Everything you said, about how lost you feel without her, there's no way she's not feeling that too. She'll do whatever it is that she thinks she has to do, and she'll come back for you. I know she will."

Jasper didn't answer - I don't think he could have formed words to respond to that. It didn't bother me. There were no more words for a long stretch after that. I just stared down at the book on my lap, not even trying to sort out my tumultous thoughts or feelings. I thought maybe Jasper would leave, but he stayed next to me, still leaning against the table, gone somewhere else in his head as well.

A distant chiming from the grandfather clock in the dining room finally nudged me out of my reverie.

"So...it's decided then, right?" I looked at Jasper, who waited for me. "I mean, about me. I'm staying, right?"

"Clearly."

"And you're staying," I looked at him for assurance.

Jasper paused for a moment. "Yes. I am."

"Well...if that's the case then, maybe we should both stop acting like a giant pair of Edwards, wallowing in guilt every second of the day. If this is the life that we've both chosen, I think we should probably go on and live it, at least before the Volturi or something else lethal inevitably shows up again."

"So what you're saying is, we should quit our bitching?" Jasper actually smiled without looking like it was going to break his face.

"And the whining and pining."

"Do we have to give up the moaning and groaning too?"

"Definitely," I held out my hand to him. "Deal?"

Jasper shook it. "Deal."

Just then, we heard Rosalie's voice sound from the hallway.

"Oh,_ thank God_!"

**To be continued**

_In the next chapter, Elisa decides to go after what she wants and his name is Jimmy. Later on, she makes a surprising realization about her strange connection to Alice._

Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	25. About a Boy

_I know. I KNOW. Normally, updates won't even come close to this fast, but I was actually writing this chapter at the same time I was writing the last one and since it's ready to go, no point in putting it off. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and I apologize for the alerts you may get for chapters that aren't there. I have updated, it's just that I'm kind of a screwup and also ffn is giving me fits at the moment.  
_

_Some warnings; a little bit more language in this chapter and some discussion of more mature matter.  
_

Evening Falls Chapter 25:

**about a boy**

"How is your omelet, Elisa?"

Hastily, I swallowed the bite that I had chewing to look up at Esme from my stool. She looked anxious at my delay in responding. "Did I go too heavy on the onions? I know you don't too many - or is it the cheese...?"

"Esme," I finally managed to get a word in edgewise. "Seriously, it's the best omelet I've ever had. I promise."

Esme beamed at this and disappeared only to reappear in front of the sink, where she started scrubbing out the frying pan.

"So where were we?" I turned back to the quiet figure on the stool next to me. "Oh, right, World War II! How did you all avoid the draft? Oh, wait...did any of you go to Woodstock? What did you think of the 80's? Did Alice love Madonna? I'll bet she totally did..."

"Elisa,' Jasper said patiently. "Perhaps we could take this a decade at a time? And not right now, either. You do have to go to school, after all."

"Fine," I sighed, picking up my empty glass and plate to take over to Esme at the sink. "But you'll tell me more tonight, right?" I gave him a significant look, one that said he'd better stick to our deal. If he thought for a second that he was going to spend another evening skulking around the woods by himself he had some serious re-education coming.

"Cross my unbeating heart,' Jasper said solemnly as he stood up to leave the room. The slight twitch of his lips told me he understood exactly what I was trying to do. Not that forcing him to participate in family life for once was my only goal in bombarding him with my zillion of questions. Esme's stack of scrapbooks had lit a firestorm of curiousity that would not be satisfied until I'd spent days interrogating each and every one of them.

"Thank you, Elisa,' Esme said as I handed her my plates. I was about to go get my book bag when something occurred to me.

"Hey, Esme, did Carlisle leave for the clinic already?"

"Yes, over an hour ago. Why?" Esme looked at me curiously.

"I just wanted to know what he said to Edward the other day; I keep forgetting to ask. Did Carlisle tell him that Alice is gone?"

Esme nodded, sighing. "Yes, he did. Edward did not take it well; he's worried sick about her. And when he heard about what happened with Sebastian..." she shuddered. "I don't know that it was wise to tell him about that. Carlisle said he was absolutely livid. At least he has Bella to think about now - that should stop him from doing anything rash."

Emmett snorted as he walked into the kitchen. "I don't think we need to worry about what Edward's going to do, Esme. He's not the newborn, after all. We'd just better hope he doesn't tell _Bella_," he snickered at that.

Esme looked even more worried at this, and Emmett covered his grin quickly with a forced sober expression.

"Speaking of Carlisle,' Esme was saying now, clearly wanting to change the subject, 'he was very touched that you volunteered to work at the clinic with us this Saturday, Elisa."

I felt the tiniest twinge of guilt at that. Truth be told, I could think of about a thousand different things I'd rather do this Saturday then work at the clinic, but Carlisle had been planning this day for months. Health care was free here, but that still didn't mean it was always easy to get. There were long waits at many medical facilities, except for medical emergencies. But even more so, Carlisle wanted to get basic care to the people who needed it the most, and were also the least likely to get it.

He had a small army of volunteers that would scout the city in vans, looking for the homeless, seniors, prostitutes, drug addicts, illegal immigrants, runaways... anyone that might normally never set foot inside a clinic like his. The mobile volunteers would go back and forth all day, bringing as many people in who were willing to come in, and doing what they could right there for those who would or could not. Inside the clinic, another large group of medical professionals who'd also volunteered their time would be waiting.

I'd never seen Carlisle so excited; this obviously meant a great deal to him, so how could I not volunteer? Of course volunteers like me would not be involved directly with any of the medical aspects; our job would be to check patients in, hand out paperwork and care packages and other miscellaneous duties.

"You know," Esme leaned forward on the counter now and to my surprise her suddenly innocent expression was rather reminiscent of Emmett's. "Carlisle will need as many volunteers as he can get. Maybe you could ask some of your friends? For example, this Jimmy we've been hearing so much about?"

_What?_ Who had she been hearing about Jimmy from? Because it certainly wasn't_ me_ - I shot Emmett a sharp look and he just grinned in return.

"Elisa?" Esme was still waiting for a response, but I wasn't sure what to say. Was it really time to bring home the almost boyfriend to the vampire parentals? I felt slightly dizzy at the thought.

"Darn it, ' Esme frowned at the look on my face. "You're panicking and I thought I'd worked that in so casually. Apparently I need to work on my subtlety."

I couldn't help but smile. "You were very smooth, Esme. I'll ask him, but he might have plans, so no promises."

"Well, if he does, we'll just think of something else," Esme persisted. Clearly she was not planning on taking no for an answer. Really, the whole situation was kind of adorable. And bound to be incredibly awkward.

"Elisa!" Rosalie appeared, tapping her stiletto heel impatiently on the ground. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

I looked at the clock on the wall. "Oh, crap!" With that I sped out of the kitchen and ran down the hall to the bathroom.

"Elisa!" Rosalie yelled after me. "You're going the wrong way! The car is _outside_, remember?"

A second later she was framed in the doorway, watching me in front of the mirror, finger combing a few strands of hair and applying a quick coat of lip gloss. "Are you grooming _again_?"

"You're one to talk!" I snickered.

"Yes, well, I'm not the one about to be late. Now MOVE!" Rosalie waved me out of the bathroom impatiently and pointed towards the front door.

"Way to overreact; Rosalie," I grumbled as she shepherded me down the hall. "Nobody's going to fall over and die if I'm late one day."

Rosalie glowered. "_Cullens_ are never late."

I flinched at that. Great; I really needed a reminder first thing in the morning that I was the only blight on the family name; the thorn in a bush full of roses. "I'm sorry, Rosalie. It's just that today is kind of a big day for me, and I want to look nice."

Rosalie's face softened as she opened the car door and waited for me to climb in. "What's the occasion?"

Before she finished the sentence she and Emmett were already in the car and we were zooming down the long drive. He was watching me through the rear view mirror, clearly waiting for my answer too.

"Well..." I hesitated for a moment then decided I'd might as well get this over with. "I've decided to ask Jimmy out. I mean, not just to volunteer at the clinic with me, but on a real date."

I braced myself for Emmett's explosion but he merely seemed to consider this for a moment. "Well, you could do worse."

At almost the same time, Rosalie turned in her seat to frown at me slightly. "Are you absolutely sure you want to do that, Elisa?"

"Wait...what?" I was bewildered. "Is this opposite day or something? Emmett, I thought you hated the idea of me dating him! And Rosalie, seriously, weren't you encouraging me to go for it just a few days ago?"

Emmett chuckled. "OK, so I may have overdone the overprotective big brother bit. Look, James seems like a good kid, and I can tell he cares about you, especially after what happened at the mall the other day."

I nearly choked, knowing immediately what he was talking about. "You saw that? I thought you guys were going to keep your distance!"

"We did!" Rosalie said defensively. "We tried as hard as we could to stay away and still keep an eye out for Sebastian, but that whole incident in the store...it was rather loud. Afterwards I had to stop Emmett from eating the shopkeeper."

"Oh," I looked down, my face scarlet. I could not believe they had witnessed my meltdown at the Avalon mall last weekend. It was bad enough that Jimmy had had to see it.

"Do you want to talk about it, kid?" Emmett's voice was softer now.

"No," I said honestly. "But if I did, I'd want to talk to you."

"What am I, chopped liver?" Rosalie looked offended at my words, but Emmett was clearly touched. He reached back to pat my cheek lightly before returning his attention to the road. I felt a little bad about hurting Rosalie's feelings; I knew I could talk to her too, but there was something about Emmett that always made me feel safe. If Edward was Alice's port in a storm, Emmett was mine.

We were almost at the school now, having made excellent time due to Emmett's lead foot and Nascar style driving skills. Rosalie was watching me with a slightly concerned expression on her face. I guessed she was thinking still about what had happened at the mall, until she spoke again. "About Jimmy...' her voice trailed off, her face uncertain. "Maybe you're just a little young."

"Rosalie, it's not like I'm going to propose! Anyway, I'm fifteen, not five! Are you really saying I can't go out on a date?" Ugh; why was she raining so hard on my parade?

"No, of course not," Rosalie sighed. "Ask him if you want to. Just...be careful."

"Okaaaay," I said slowly as we stopped and she got out to pull the seat back. I should have known Rosalie would overreact, even if she had helped to set us up before. I guessed the revelation that her human charge was about to stick her toe into the dark pool that was dating was a little much for her at the moment.

It turned out that my romantic life was not the only thing Rosalie had over-reacted to this morning; there was still a good ten minutes before the bell rang when we arrived at the school. I said a hasty goodbye to the two of them, my heart beginning to race slightly as I saw Jimmy next to the bike rack with his friends Connor and Mercer, racing on their skateboards. I squared my shoulders and marched forward like a soldier preparing for battle. Here went nothing.

* * *

This wasn't exactly the battle I'd had in mind, as I stood beside Mercer, one foot on the skateboard I was borrowing from Jimmy. Mercer was crouched over his own skateboard, giving me a sideways grin.

"Smoke him, Elisa!"

"No way! Mercer, you can't let a _girl _beat you!"

At that I glowered over my shoulder at Connor, who just grinned back at me. OK, now it was so _on_.

"OK, whoever makes it to the bike rack the fastest wins. Ready, set, go!" Jimmy waved us off.

Right away, Mercer was faster, but I was giving all I had, and I was catching up, almost there...at this point we were neck and neck... And then I shifted just slightly and immediately lost control, slamming directly into the bike rack. Luckily it wasn't a terrible collision - I just hit my shin hard and hurt my pride more than anything.

"You're getting a lot better, Elisa," Mercer walked over to me, holding his board. "You just need to balance your weight more; here, let me show you -" he continued giving instructions as Jimmy and Connor joined in with their commentary. I loved the way that none of them fussed over my minor injury; if I'd been at home Esme would be calling Carlisle right now to ask him if I needed an x-ray. Who knew vampires could be the very definition of over-protective?

"Hey!" An annoyed voice barked and we looked to see Mr. McCauley, the phys ed teacher, glaring at us. "Did the four of you become illiterate overnight?" He gestured impatiently at the sign hanging on the brick wall behind the bike rack, reading '**Absolutely No Skateboarding**'.

"Sorry, Mr. M,' Jimmy grinned, not looking sorry at all. "We'll put them away."

Mr. McCauley scowled and stomped off, knowing as well as anybody that we'd be out here tomorrow morning doing the same thing.

Jimmy tossed me the heeled shoes he'd been holding for me and took the board back. "I gotta run and put this in my locker before the bell rings. See you in third, OK?"

Connor and Mercer chimed in with their goodbyes and the three of them were off. I sighed as I leaned on the bike rack, putting my shoes back on. How was I going to get Jimmy alone? I mean, maybe I could ask him in third but that would mean passing him a note and it would be just my luck to have Mr. B catch us and read it out loud. In fact, he'd probably make us stand up in front of the class and act it out. And how was I going to ask Jimmy anyway? If I asked about volunteering on Saturday and then suggested we go out to dinner and movie afterwards, would that sound like just a normal extension of a long day together, two friends hanging out? Because I did not want there to be any misunderstandings. I liked him, and if he liked me the way I was pretty sure he did, it was time to make it official.

I was snapped out of strategizing by the sight of Tandy, who was leaning against the brick wall from out of nowhere, watching me. The sight of her was greatly annoying; a reminder that if she had anything to say about it I wouldn't have a second with Jimmy today by myself. Couldn't she go get a life of her own and stop following us everywhere?

"Did you want something, Tandy?" I tried to make my tone as polite as possible, considering that I was speaking through gritted teeth.

"Just watching. Have to say I've never seen anyone skateboard in a skirt and stockings before," Tandy shrugged.

"Yeah, well, I'm a conundrum,' I leaned down to snag my bookbag and when I looked at her again she was just staring at me.

"Co-nun-drum," I repeated slowly. "It's like a riddle or - "

"Shut the hell up, Elisa," Tandy snapped, her warm brown skin flushing an angry rose color. With that, she turned and stalked away.

I supposed I shouldn't have baited her like that, but Tandy was so freaking annoying. After she'd tried to help me a few weeks back when she and Jimmy thought that I was being used as a punching bag in secret, I'd thought that maybe things would thaw between us. I mean, at least now I knew she had a heart, even if she managed to bury it under seventeen layers of nasty. But no, despite my efforts, which were admittedly limited, Tandy had been more hostile than ever. Clearly, she resented how close Jimmy and I were getting. The thought made me feel equal parts guilty and smug at the same time.

The warning bell rang, and I turned and ran in the opposite direction, making it inside and to my first class just in time.

* * *

I knew something was up even before I made it inside Mr. B's classroom at third period. It wasn't hard to figure out of course, not with every single student who walked in before me emitting a loud groan and immediate protests. When I walked into the room, the first thing I saw was Mr. B's smug smile, the one he only wore when he was able to make mass quantities of people extremely unhappy at the same time. It could only mean one thing.

"Pop quiz?" I groaned, staring at the ominous stapled papers on everyone's desk. _"Why?"_

"Because B stays up nights thinking of new ways to torture us, that's why." Jimmy scowled and flung himself into the seat next to mine.

I raised a curious eyebrow at him as I sat down. "What's with you? You seem mad."

Jimmy sighed as he returned my gaze. "Turns out there was a pop quiz in 1st period too. The thing is, I kinda wasn't there. Mercer and me split and hit the park instead. Mrs. Hardwicke knew I was cutting, and man, is she pissed. She just caught me in the hall and let me have it. I have to spend last period with her to make the test up. Not to mention the week of afterschool detention."

"Sucks," I grimaced. "So you won't be in English?"

Jimmy shook his head.

Just then an irritated voice broke into our conversation. "James, Alyssa, the bell has rung. Would you two kindly shut up?"

I gritted my teeth as I returned Mr. B's glower. Jimmy was probably right; he must stay up at night thinking of new ways to torment us all. His latest petty entertainment was to pretend he couldn't pronounce my name.

"It's Elisa, Mr. B. E-LEE-SUH." I snapped back at him.

"That's what I said, Alicia." Mr. B dismissed me.

I blew out an exasperated breath, and with that, I ducked over my paper.

As I flipped through the test sheets I began to panic a bit. This was the last kind of stress I needed right now. Life Science wasn't my worst subject, but it definitely wasn't my best either, and this test was _long_.

Doing my best to concentrate, I worked frantically. Luckily, I knew the material better than I thought, but the questions were complex and tricky, which was undoubtedly intentional on Mr. B's part. He was probably betting on a good deal of us not being able to complete it by the end of class. If I was one of them, which was looking more and more likely, Jimmy wouldn't be the only one in afterschool detention. Imagining what Rosalie would have to say about that made me quake slightly. Perfect Cullens didn't do detention. Ever.

A thin trickle of sweat rolled down my back and I didn't dare look at the clock. I knew the bell was going to ring any second and I'd be screwed.

To my surprise, it didn't. It felt like the period was stretching on and on, and as grateful as I was I couldn't ever remember the time passing so slowly before.

My fingers were cramping from clutching my pencil tightly and my head was beginning to pound when I finally finished the last question and turned to Jimmy, triumphant. "Finally! I thought that would never end. How did you do?" I frowned then, massaging my temples. "Ugh, I have the worst headache. Do you have any aspirin?"

Jimmy ignored my question, staring at me with a shocked expression. "How did you finish so fast?" Startled, I realized that he was only a third of the way through his own test, and he was far better at Life Sci then I was.

"What?" I stared back at him, confused. "What do you mean, fast? Felt like it was at least an hour. I can't believe the bell didn't ring!"

"Are you kidding me?" Jimmy looked even more bewildered than I did. "Elisa, it's only been fifteen minutes since class started!"

He had to be joking. My head shot up and I gaped at the clock on the wall. How...what...? How completely weird. Was I really that much better then I'd given myself credit for?

"Elisa Cullen!" Mr. B's ability to pronounce my name had miraculously returned. When I looked at him, he had his eyes closed as if begging the teaching gods for patience. "Do you know how many times I have wished it wasn't illegal to tape your mouth shut? Now, for the sake of my sanity be quiet and finish your test before I call your aunt and uncle."

"Oh, no need, Mr. B. They already know I talk too much. Also, I finished my test."

Mr B's eyebrows nearly shot off his forehead. Impatiently, he waved me forward, his face deeply skeptical.

After a few minutes of perusing my test Mr. B looked back up at me. "Congratulations, Elisa,' his voice was sour. "You passed. Since you finished so early, spend the rest of this period correcting the questions you missed."

I sighed as I took the test back. Of course Mr. B would reward my achievement with more work. My head throbbed even more at the thought. "Do you have any aspirin, Mr. B?"

Just as I spoke I felt something wet on my face. I looked down just in time to see the crimson drop splash on Mr. B's desk. Crap, my nose was bleeding.

Mr. B followed my gaze, looking completely disgusted. He threw a wad of tissues at me then scribbled impatiently on a white excused absence sheet and handed it to me. "Get out, Elisa. Go see the nurse. Sneak off campus. I don't care. Just _go away_."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I snatched the excused absence slip, grabbed my stuff, and hightailed it out the door, only stopping to toss a sympathetic look at Jimmy who mouthed 'LUCKY!' at me.

Luckily, my nosebleed was mild and stopped quickly, but my head was throbbing enough that I did go see the nurse, who gave me some ibuprofen, an ice pack, and a lollipop since apparently I actually was five. After that, I still had several minutes until the next class started. I meandered my way over to the school library, but at the last minute decided not to bother. Our library at home was a thousand times better stocked, and I already had a book to read with me anyway.

I tossed my backpack on the staircase at the end of the hall next to the library, sat down, pulled out my book, and unwrapped my lollipop, which turned out to be lime and therefore awesome. My headache was finally started to ease a little but I still felt mildly nauseous.

I was just getting into my book when the library door banged open. I looked up idly to see Tandy balancing a stack of books as she exited. She stopped as she caught sight of me, ready to throw some more shade on my sunshine as only she could.

"Skipping?" she snapped.

"Nope," I grinned and waved my excused absence slip at her.

Tandy rolled her eyes. "Must be nice being a spoiled little rich girl who gets away with everything."

My first instinct at that comment was to hurl my book at her head, but I didn't want to waste good literature on a cat fight, so I beamed brightly at her instead. "As a matter of fact, it _is_."

Tandy glared. "You make me sick." With that, she stomped off down the hallway.

"That's just a bonus!" I called after her and heard her disgusted sigh in response.

Just then the bell rang and I sighed loudly, realizing I'd had to waste my last few minutes of freedom on Tandy. How pointless. Putting her firmly out of my mind, I hurried off to fourth period.

* * *

Even though my last class of the day, English, and it's teacher, Mr. Thornhill, were both my favorites, it seemed to drag on and on without Jimmy wise-cracking beside me. I finished my assignment early, like I usually did and had nothing else to do. I could only contemplate sit there and contemplate the failure of my mission..

I hadn't managed to get Jimmy alone once; not even during lunch which had been our best bet. When I had put my plan together this morning, I had thought perhaps if nothing else I could ask him after school. We always sat on the steps together now that Rosalie generously picked me up 'late' every day, knowing that I wanted to spend time with him. That was out today, thanks to his stupid detention. Maybe Mrs. Hardwicke was right; I didn't want to lecture him but I should probably remind him that he'd barely escaped expulsion last year and needed to pull it together.

"Hey, Elisa!" Something hard and sticky hit me in the back of the head. I whipped around to see Jock Boy, aka Brett, sitting behind me, grinning. He'd lobbed a wad of disgusting, chewed gum at me. When I pulled it out of my hair, it took several strands with it. He was such a pig. It never ceased to amaze me that he'd made into AP English; he seemed to be barely be able to stand upright, much less read.

Jock Boy was enjoying my expression. "Saw you with your boyfriend this morning," he sneered, emphasizing the word boyfriend. "Has J given you anything else to ride besides his skateboard?" He rocked his hips obscenely and his friends guffawed around him. I wanted to kill him.

"Is there a problem, Brett? Elisa?" Mr. Thornhill called from the front of the room.

"Yeah, there's a problem. I gotta watch where I sit from now on; I think I _caught_ something." Brett grabbed his books and stood up, giving me a deliberate glance. Some of our classmates snickered, and I wanted to stab him with my pencil. "I think I'm going to hurl,' he continued. "I gotta go see the nurse."

Mr. Thornhill sighed. "The next time you come down with a mystery illness I'm going to want a doctor's note."

"I hope you have the plague,' I snapped at Brett under my breath as he pushed past my desk.

At least Jock Boy had distracted me from mooning over Jimmy. I spent the rest of class quietly steaming and making plans for revenge, only interrupted when Mr. Thornhill stood up and called out, "Five minutes, everyone! Elisa, please get your stuff together and come up here." He smiled to let me know I wasn't in trouble.

Confused, I shoved my books and folder in my backpack and walked up to his desk. Mr. Thornhill was still smiling as he handed me a stack of papers clipped together. "I'm letting you go a few minutes early so you can catch James in Mrs. Hardwicke's room. Tell him I want today's assignments finished during detention."

"Sure," I took Jimmy's homework, instantly happy again. This could be perfect! I could walk with him to detention, and ask him out on the way. I was greatly relieved at my new plan; I didn't want to have another day in which to think everything over and psych myself out.

I hurried down the hall to Mrs. Hardwicke's room, Jimmy's geography teacher. She was actually mine as well, we just had her different periods.

When I got there, Mrs. Hardwicke was sitting at her desk, correcting papers. The classroom was empty. She looked up when she heard me approaching.

"Hi, Elisa. What can I help you with?"

"I'm looking for Jimmy. I'm supposed to give him his English assignments."

"Oh, I'm sorry; I let him go once he finished his test. I'm hoping if I give him a little slack, he won't cut out on detention as well," Mrs. Hardwicke sighed and smiled at the same time.

"Ok, I'll go find him," I started to turn around but Mrs. Hardwicke's voice stopped me.

"Elisa..." she paused for a moment. "Several members of the staff have noticed how much James' behavior has improved this year. I think you're a good influence on him. Maybe you can help us encourage him to not slip back into bad habits, ok?"

"Um, sure," I barely suppressed my horrified expression. So I was supposed to be the good girl who reforms the bad boy? _Gag_. I hurried away before a revival of Grease broke out around me.

My heart was sinking by this point. It seemed as though I wasn't going to be able to find him in time now, and all my careful planning and motivation speeches to myself would have gone to waste. This was so disappointing.

Well, I wasn't going to give up without a fight. I'd keep looking at least for a few minutes. Of course, the bell chose to ring at that moment, spilling my classmates out into the halls and making everything twice as difficult. Without any better ideas, I headed over to his locker. He wasn't there, but Tandy was, shoving her books into her own locker which was only a couple down from his.

"Hey, Tandy," I forced a polite smile. "Have you seen Jimmy?"

Tandy glared at me and opened her mouth with an expression that clearly stated she was about to tell me to go decompose in a ditch. Then, abruptly, she snapped her mouth closed. Her eyes brightened and next thing I knew, she was smiling happily at me. It was the creepiest thing I'd ever seen since meeting Jane of the Volturi; she had to be trying to melt my brain with some dark goth chick mojo.

"Oh yeah, I've seen him. He was heading down to the science labs. Mr's B's room, I think. If you hurry I'm sure you can catch him."

"Um...ok," I turned and hurried away from Psycho Tandy as fast as I could. I was fairly certain she was lying and sending me a wild goose chase, but I figured I'd go down to the science labs and check. Maybe I'd see him on the way.

I always hated being in the dank, unventilated and windowless basement of the school where the science labs were. Having to be here once a day was enough; I couldn't imagine why Jimmy would have come back down here unless Mr. B had some extra assignments for him too.

When I reached Mr. B's door it was closed and the shade pulled down over the small window. Great. I knew Tandy was lying. Just to be sure, I tried the doorknob, sure it would be locked. To my surprise, it wasn't. Gingerly, I pushed open the door as quietly as possible, hoping that if I encountered Mr. B I'd be able to sneak away without him noticing me.

The sight that met my disbelieving eyes had me freezing in place. Tandy _hadn't_ been lying. Jimmy was here.

And he wasn't alone.

I stared at the entwined figures for several heart-crushing seconds, until the taller figure pulled back from Jimmy finally and I realized with an even greater shock who it was.

"JOCK BOY?"

Jimmy and Brett jumped a mile, turning to seek me out with pale, stunned expressions.

"Elisa!" Jimmy looked absolutely horrified to see me standing there. It was nothing compared to what I felt.

There was sheer silence for a moment, all of us frozen into statues, and then Brett lunged at me, knocking desks out of his way. "Bitch, I swear to God if you tell anyone…!"

"Hey! Back off!" Jimmy shoved him back even as I leapt forward.

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it?" I yelled back, so angry that I didn't care at the moment that he was about five times my size.

Brett started to shout something else, his meaty hands balled into fists, but with surprising strength Jimmy pushed him towards the door. "You stay the hell away from her!"

Brett glared at both of us so fiercely I was amazed that we didn't both go up in flames. "I'm done with this!" he glared at Jimmy, kicked another desk out of his way, and slammed the door behind him.

Jimmy turned back to me, trepidation all over his face, "Elisa, look – "

"No, don't," I held up a silencing hand. "I get it, really, I do," I choked back the tremble in my voice. "You were in here, helping him with a science experiment, right? And then…maybe it all went horribly wrong, the two of you breathed in some wonky fumes, and then oops…accidental gayness ensued. That's what happened, right? Because you couldn't be into guys. You would have told me that, _right_?" Bitter sarcasm saturated my every word.

"Elisa..." Jimmy stared at a spot over my head. "I'm gay."

I took a long moment to process the last thing I ever thought I'd hear him say, but understanding wasn't coming. "Oh my God. I don't believe this!"

Jimmy's light blue eyes met mine and danced away just as quickly, even as I watched them turn flat and hostile, reminiscent of the first day I'd met him. "Believe it, Elisa It's true. " His voice was dull. "Guess I should have told you but..." He gave me a derisive look. "I kinda thought maybe you couldn't deal."

"Are you serious right now?" I stormed at him, suddenly so angry I wanted to punch him. "You're really going to try and put this on me, act like I'm prejudiced or something? You're an idiot, you know that? Hello, I'm from Southern California; it's not like I grew up in a bubble! I had tons of gay friends!" OK, so tons was an over exaggeration but I'd had at least two.

"Southern California?" Jimmy's eyebrows shot up and he forgot his surly tone. "I thought you were from Seattle?"

"Um..." Oh crap; I'd forgotten the first rule of being an adopted Cullen yet again. _ No matter what_, _always remember the cover story_.

"I mean, yeah..." I faltered, trying to fix my mistake. "We um...lived in California but then we moved to Seattle for uh...the weather."

"The weather?" Jimmy stared at me in blatant disbelief. "You left beautiful sunny California to go to gray, wet Seattle for the _weather_?"

"Shut up; this is not about me!" My temper was raging now and I didn't want to obsess on my latest slip. "You're the one who lied to me, for weeks!"

"I didn't lie to you," His voice was flat again. "I just didn't tell you."

"Whatever!" I fumed. "Let me remind of what you did do, Jimmy. Remember our little tête-à-tête on the steps? Where you kissed me?" I watched his face pale. "Yeah, remember that now, do you? Good. Because I'm going to remind you again, that YOU kissed ME. YOU initiated it. And you knew how I felt about you, didn't you?" My voice did betray me now, choosing this inopportune moment to crack once more. I watched him swallow hard.

I didn't want him to hear more of the pain in my voice, so I lowered it to a whisper now. "Didn't you?" I moved closer to him, staring him in the eyes, refusing to let him look away.

"Yeah, " He finally mumbled back. "I mean, I didn't at first, but Tandy - "

I interrupted him with a bitter laugh. "Tandy. Of course. Nice of her to fill you in." I was pacing back and forth. "And you? Does she know about you too?"

Jimmy nodded again. His expression was bleak. "Yeah. She was the first person I ever told. Years ago. I've known since I was thirteen."

So that's why she'd been so happy to send me after him. Tandy had finally found the perfect way to get between us.

"Thirteen," I turned away, blinking back the moisture in my eyes. "Well, that's just great." I spat out the next words. "What was I to you, just a game? '_Hey Tandy, let's mess with the new girl_?' Is that what it was? Or was I supposed to be your beard or something?"

"No, I swear it wasn't like - "

I cut him off but throwing my hand up in front of his face. "Just stop!"

And then I couldn't help the way my voice broke. "I thought you liked me."

"Elisa, please, listen to me - "

"Drop dead," I pushed against his suddenly restraining arm, bumping him out of the way so I could leave with a few shreds of my dignity still intact. But he refused to let me go that easily, running in front of me and slamming the classroom door shut again as soon as I opened it.

"Let me out!" My voice was close to a scream. I couldn't hold onto any semblance of self control much longer. Another minute alone with him and I was going to be a sobbing mess. Plus I was probably going to get expelled and maybe even arrested because the urge to beat his head in with Mr. B's stapler was rapidly becoming irresistible.

"No," Jimmy leaned against the door with his back to it. His voice was trembling too, and his eyes were damp. His tough front was shattering as fast as I was.

"Look, I have to say this to you first. And then if you want to hate me, fine. But you deserve to know this, and I won't have the guts to say it to you later." His voice was trembling too, and his eyes were damp.

It was only these signs of vulnerability that kept his head, for the time being, without a stapler size dent in it. I took a deep breath, crossing my arms. "Hurry up," I snapped.

"Elisa, I do like you," He began, his voice hushed.

My cynical snort made him pause for a second, then he plunged ahead. "I mean, I really like you. More than I've ever liked any girl. I mean, _that way_."

"That way?" I was instantly bewildered. "What do you mean, that way? I thought you said you were gay! Are you bisexual or something?"

"No," Jimmy sighed and looked away. "No, I'm gay."

"Then I don't understand what the hell you re talking about."

Jimmy moved away from the door and began to pace. I guess I could have used that moment to make a break for it, but I couldn't move. I had to know what he was going to say next.

"Look, I told you I've known since I was thirteen. I made my peace with it a long time ago. It's been hard, but I've never felt...unsure. Not until I met you."

He looked at me now and the expression in his blue eyes was heartbreaking. "You made me feel...confused. You made me feel something more than friendship. So I thought, for the first time ever, that maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just hadn't met the right girl. And that's why..." he trailed off, and red suddenly flushed his features.

"That's why you kissed me," I completed.

We were both silent for a minute. My arms were still wound tightly over my chest. "And when you did?" I finally managed to get out. I understood so much more now. Why he'd pulled away from me so abruptly, why he'd run off.

"When I did..." his voice was still hesitant. "I mean, I have feelings for you, Elisa. I really care about you. If you don't believe anything else I say, I hope you believe that. But as soon as we kissed, I knew."

"What, that you found me repulsive?" I threw at him, the hurt of his words making me want to give it back.

"No! But I knew that I couldn't...I just knew I couldn't ever be what you wanted me to be to you. Even what I was starting to want to be with you. I'm sorry, Elisa. I really am."

"You're sorry, that's all you can say? Really? You know what the worst thing about this is, Jimmy? It's not even that I thought that I had a boyfriend, or that Tandy has probably been laughing at me for weeks. It's that you thought I wouldn't understand! How can you stand there and tell me you like me if you have such a crappy opinion of me?"

Jimmy had the decency to look shame-faced. "I didn't mean that, Elisa. I just - I was scared to take the chance. I didn't want to lose you. I still don't."

We were both silent for a long moment. I stared at the floor, chewing the inside of my cheek. Inside, my emotions whirled in a maelstrom of confusion.

After several minutes, Jimmy broke the silence. "Well, I guess that's it then," His flat tone was back, his defenses up again. He turned to the door and opened it before turning back.

"Look, Elisa, I know you hate me and you have reason to. But please, don't tell anyone about Brett. It would kill him."

"About Brett?" My voice was startled. "What about you? Does _everyone_ know?"

Jimmy shrugged. "I don't run around handing out flyers to the St. Johns Gay Pride parade, but I don't hide it either. So yeah, pretty much."

"Oh _great_," It stung as I realized how stupid I must have looked, not just to Tandy, but to everyone in school that had known Jimmy for the last few years, following him around like a love struck puppy.

Jimmy read my expression and his jaw tightened. "Please, Elisa. Just promise me you won't take this out on Brett. I know you don't like him. Half the time, I don't even like him. But he doesn't deserve that."

I exhaled in an offended huff. "Of course, I'm not going to tell anyone, Jimmy. I may be petty, but I'm not _mean_."

A corner of Jimmy's mouth quirked sadly and then dropped again. "Thanks. See you around, Elisa."

I didn't respond, watching him take the first step out the door. Another one, and he'd be out of my life, with all his lies and his confusion and his however unintentional rendering of my heart. And so much the better.

Except that now I wasn't watching the boy who jerked my heart around like a puppet on the string. I was seeing the rebel boy with the light blue eyes that I'd fallen in instant crush with at first sight. The boy who introduced me to all his friends and gave me a place to sit at lunch. The one who'd stood up for me against his best friend. The one who saw my bruises, through my lies and tried everything he could to help me. The one who I cried to when Alice left, the one I clung to when my past caught up with me.

And he was walking away.

"Jimmy," I said, and he froze on his second step out the door, and then turned around, his expression wary.

"My uncle Carlisle works at the free clinic downtown," Out of nervousness, I was speaking too quickly. "I'm working there on Saturday, because he's having an open house day. He needs more volunteers," I looked hard at him, so he'd get my meaning.

Jimmy looked stunned for a minute before his mouth turned up into a real, if small smile. "Well, I was planning on going skateboarding, but hey, a whole day of selfless service to the community. How could I refuse?"

I smiled back, as much as it hurt to do so. "You can't, at least not without looking like a real jerk."

"Yeah, well I think I've already done enough of that," he sighed. Then he looked directly at me. "What does this mean, Elisa?"

I met his gaze head on. "It means you should have told me," I folded my arms back across my chest. "And I'm not even close to OK with the fact that you didn't. But you're still my friend. If you want to be."

Jimmy nodded and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. "Yeah, I do."

With that he took a step towards me and I immediately jumped back. "No way! Keep your hands to yourself, Skater Boy. We are SO not hugging," I hurried through the next words to ease the hurt in his eyes. "At least not today. Maybe when it's less confusing."

"I get that," His expression was rueful. "Saturday, then."

"Saturday," I confimed as he turned to leave again. "Oh, and Jimmy...DON'T bring Tandy." My voice turned to ice when I said her name. I'd settle my score with her later, when there were no witnesses.

Jimmy looked confused by the renewed anger in my tone but something in my face told him not to ask. He ducked out the door and was quickly gone.

I waited a few seconds, hoping that the halls would be mostly clear before I made my exit and then ran from the room, using the back door and streaking across the parking lot as fast as I could, hoping no one would see my tears. I did try to wipe them away before I reached Rosalie's car, but I had no chance of fooling either one of them. Emmett took one look at my face and was out of the car.

"I'm going to _KILL_ that kid!"

"Emmett!" Rosalie jumped out as well, with an anxious look to make sure nobody had seen or heard. "Get back in the car!"

Emmett growled quietly under his breath, but he did get back in the car. I climbed in the back and Rosalie got back in as well. Within seconds we were zipping around other cars in the parking lot.

"What happened, Elisa?" Rosalie turned to look at me.

What had happened with Jimmy was the last thing I wanted to talk about, but I could see neither one of them would be satisfied until I spilled. Besides, if I didn't tell, Emmett would probably assume it was a lot worse and actually would kill Jimmy. I was almost certain I didn't want that to happen.

I managed to tell them the entire story without breaking down again, though there was no way I could hide how hurt I felt.

"He didn't tell you? He just strung you along like that?" Emmett was fuming. I heard a crack as his big hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"Emmett, DO NOT break my car!" Rosalie shot him a look and turned back to me. "Elisa, I'm so sorry you had to find out like this."

Something in the tone of her voice, the sympathy with no hint of surprise tipped me off. I gasped. "Rosalie, you knew! That's why you didn't want me to ask him out! How did you find out?"

"I - " Rosalie looked like she was going to deny it at first but when Emmett fixed with with a look she gave up. "You just seemed to like him so much and after that day at the mall I thought it might be getting serious between you two. I wanted to know more about him. So I might have - followed him once or twice," she sighed. "I saw him with that boy the other night. That's how I knew."

"What? How could you not tell me?" Emmett practically howled, glaring at her.

"Forget Emmett! How could you not tell _me_?" I was so mad I could barely get the words out.

"Emmett, you know why I didn't tell _you_," Rosalie silenced him with one of her patented glares. "As for you, Elisa, I wanted to, believe me I did, but there are rules and I just - "

"Rules?" I burst out. "WHAT RULES?"

Understanding had dawned on Emmett's face at this, but certainly not on mine. I couldn't even imagine a rule that would put me through this much embarrassment and misery.

"Well..." Rosalie's voice, for possibly the first time in her life, was apologetic. "You know Carlisle and Esme want to give you a normal life. That can't happen if you always have a heads up on every obstacle in your path. You have to experience situations just like any other human would. So the rule is, unless it is something life endangering or physically harmful to you, we can't interfere with anything that you would normally experience."

"What?" I sputtered furiously. "That is the WORST RULE EVER!"

"No, it's not, Elisa," Rosalie was clearly beginning to lose your patience. "You said yourself that we couldn't protect you from life, not if you were ever going to have the chance to live it. What happened to you is a part of life. You'll learn from it and you'll move on."

Her golden eyes searched my face for understanding, but I was too angry to give it to her yet. I could not believe she was using my own words against me at a time like this. _Traitor._ Huffing dramatically, I turned towards the window, arms crossed.

"Elisa.." Rosalie started again.

"It's too hot in here," I interrupted loudly as the heater cranked on again, blowing hot air into my face. I pressed the button on the passenger side window down just enough to get a blast of the cool breeze, deliberately keeping my gaze away from her and Emmett. We were almost to the drive going to the house by now.

As soon as the breeze hit the car, Rosalie gasped. For a quick moment, I almost thought she was cold until I saw the look on her face.

"Emmett, stop the car!" she cried out.

Emmett looked confused for a fraction of a second and then whatever had Rosalie's attention made his eyes widen. He yanked the car over to the and slammed on the brakes so hard I was tossed forward and my face almost hit the back of Rosalie's seat but her white hand flashed out and stopped me just in time.

"Trust me, you do not want a bloody nose right now," she was smiling widely, and the momentary panic disintegrated. "Get out of the car, Elisa, your day is about to get a whole better."

I didn't have time to ask; whatever it was had her too impatient to wait for my human slowness. She had me out of the car before I had time to take a breath and turned my shoulders towards the forest that lined the side of the road. Emmett was grinning too, his eyes expectant.

"What - " I started to ask as my eyes toured the dark treeline confusedly, and then my throat closed up. "Who is it?" I could scarcely bear to ask, afraid that my suddenly soaring hopes were about to be disintegrated.

"Guess," Emmett's grin was wider then ever as he stared towards the trees, waiting.

"Alice?" I whispered. I looked back at Rosalie and she looked down at me, still smiling. My eyes suddenly welled up. "Alice?" I whispered again.

A slight rustle of leaves, a blur of gleaming white and ebony and then she was there, in front of us. I stood perfectly still for a moment, afraid that maybe I was dreaming or just having a super vivid wish fulfillment fantasy.

"Aren't you going to say hello, Elisa?" Her musical voice was teasing.

"Alice!" I cried. Without hesitation, I closed the steps between us and threw my arms around her.

Alice's arms tightened around me. "I missed you too. I'm so sorry I left the way I did."

"I don't care," I whispered tearfully, and I really didn't, not now that she was back, now that the gaping hole left by her absence had instantly been filled. "You're back home now.

"Thank you for lighting my way," she whispered into my hair. With that, she pulled back and her eyes sparkled brightly. "Don't you want to say hi to everyone else?"

"What?" I pulled away from her, looking at her through tear filled eyes. "What do you - "

And then I couldn't breathe. Because I could see them both, walking forward with slow human paced caution, arms around each others waist. A matching set now, their multi faceted, slightly jeweled skin glinting in the weak rays of sunlight. There was complete quiet for a moment, even as the pandemonium in my head reached a crescendo.

Hesitantly, the smaller of the two stepped forward. "Hello, Elisa."

_"Bella?"_

**_to be continued.._.**

**In the next chapter, Bella struggles to integrate into life as a vampire, and someone unexpected shows up at Carlisle's clinic.**

**Later on, Tandy and Elisa face off and the Cullens explore the connection between Alice and Elisa.  
**

**I've been fairly nervous about this chapter, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.  
**


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